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The Answer

Chapter 17

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

As it turns out, you were able to fall asleep again. 

 

At least, that’s your assumption when you find yourself waking up the next morning. Though you hadn’t previously seen it, there’s a window on the far wall of the infirmary letting in a stream of fresh morning sun. 

 

On instinct, you reach your arms out to stretch. Horrible idea. As soon as your left arm extends one millimeter outward, a shooting pain stings through your chest. You feel a tug on what you imagine is your bandaged wound, nearly making you whisper a prayer that it hadn’t pulled open. Though you immediately dropped your arm, the pain continues to throb it’s way throughout your chest, readily making itself known. 

 

What a great way to start the morning. 

 

You’re not as disorientated as you remember being when you woke up last night, but it still takes a few moments for everything to come back to you. It’s easy to recall the basics of your situation. Farm. Cult. Hongjoong. The usual. Some of the… finer details you had learned only last night take just a few seconds of pondering, but they quickly are recalled as well. 

 

Though you can’t actually remember kissing Hongjoong… you can remember being told that it happened. Your face squeezes in embarrassment at the thought. What the fuck. Why had you done th- no, better question: why had Hongjoong done that. He was the one that was sober, not you. It isn’t that hard to piece together, you suppose. Hongjoong is a power-hungry psychopath, he thrives off of manipulating people; you are no exception. Ugh, yuck.

 

That all being said, you’re just a smidgen upset that you can’t actually recall the memory. Not that you want to know what it was like, of course, it would just make things a lot simpler if you remembered the entirety of the night (including the unfortunate parts). It would make things a lot easier to analyze. But, maybe it’s a blessing that you can’t remember it, like, come on, do you really want to remember what kissing Hongjoong was like …? 

 

No. Gross. 

 

You shake your head to try and rid yourself of the thought. There were much more pressing discoveries made last night than the fact that Hongjoong kissed you. First of all, Hongjoong apparently stabs (and kills) people on a regular basis! Which makes him kissing you so much wo- stop. Do not think about it.

 

Anyhow, what the fuck? While you had pondered a few questions why you were falling asleep, that seems like it was so long ago already. How has no one put together the disappearances with the farm? If people are initiated or whatever on a somewhat regular basis… and sometimes they die… shouldn’t the police be somewhat on top of this? Honestly, the disappearances alone should be enough to make them suspicious, but the murders? Truly the icing on the cake.

 

Anxiety pools in your stomach. This is serious. Deadly fucking serious. This is real life. You are trapped on a farm in the middle of goddamn nowhere with a manipulative psychopath and his devoted followers. And your college best friend. Can’t forget about the reason that you came here in the first place.

 

You sigh. Do you regret coming for Mingi? As much as you hate the situation, and as much pain as you are in after surviving a genuine murder attempt… no. Especially not now that you know what he’s been through. And the fact that he only came here to get away from you, apparently. So, in a round-about way, its your own fault that you ended up in this situation.

 

God, your chest hurts. And not in a metaphorical way, either. It aches with the strain you put on it while stretching. Are you still getting pain killers? It sure doesn’t feel like it…

 

You turn your head to check the status of the bags attached to your IV. The bag labeled “SALINE” still looks quite full… but the other is suspiciously empty.

 

You wonder whether or not the person outside of the room is still Nayeon. Probably not. If she has the night shift, someone else probably takes care of the day shift. Hmmm…

 

For a moment, you contemplate calling for someone, but the need evaporates as the door slides open and Mingi pokes his head in. 

 

There’s a pang in your chest the moment that you realize its him, but you can’t tell whether it’s genuine pain or something else. Before you can think on it too long, Mingi slides the door open the rest of the way and is quick to come to your side.

 

“How long have you been awake?” He asks, “I’m sorry, I should’ve been here when you woke up.”

 

You shake your head, clearing your throat before trying to speak. “No, no, it’s completely fine. I’ve only been awake for…” you search your mind for a sense of the time. It doesn’t come very easily… interesting. “Maybe five minutes?”

 

A sad smile crosses Mingi’s face. “Still.”

 

Not quite sure how to respond to that, you allow a silence to fall between the two of you. You move to sit up a bit higher to adjust your position, failing to remember your injured left half. As soon as you put weight on your right arm, the pain in your chest intensifies, and a gasp escapes from you as you shift your weight on reflex.

 

“Hey!” Mingi’s arms immediately shoot out to stabilize your body, his right hand catching your left arm and relieving the pressure off of your side. His left hand catches you at the waist, stopping you from moving any further. “You have to be more careful!”

 

Under any other circumstances, you would ask if he thinks that he’s your mom. Under these, however, you sigh. “Thank you for catching me.” You look at his hand holding onto your forearm and are nearly shocked at the strength supporting it. He’s holding essentially a fourth of your bodyweight in one hand, something he most certainly would not have been able to do when you two were still in school. “Can you help me sit up more?”

 

Mingi squints at you. “If you promise to not try and move after I do.” He doesn’t wait for your reply before using his hand at your waist to scootch you further back into a sitting position. 

 

“Thanks,” you say, waiting for him to move now that you’ve been stabilized. But… he doesn’t.

 

“Do you feel okay?” He asks, looking intently over your face.

 

Seriously, what is with people asking you that question? Clearly, you are not okay. Have you been okay for even one second since you stepped foot on this farm? No!

 

But you know that Mingi genuinely means it. “Well, my chest hurts.” You glance up at the empty bag of acetaminophen.

 

Mingi’s eyes follow your gaze, and that’s when he releases his grasp on you. He springs backward, pointing at the empty bag. “I will be back in two seconds, promise.”

Mingi disappears out the door at speeds faster than you can ever recall seeing him move in the past. Huh. True to his word, he returns in mere moments, dragging a person that you’re unfamiliar with with him.

 

“Come on, Seungmin, really,” Mingi gestures to your IV, “Why doesn’t she have any pain management? Do you not remember how much pain you were in when you were Chosen?” He drops his grip on, apparently, Seungmin as they approach your side.

 

Seungmin gives Mingi some minor side-eye. “Yes, I remember, Mingi.” He moves to go to the same cabinet that Nayeon had searched through last night. “I also took care of you after you were Chosen, if you might remember.”

 

Mingi rolls his eyes from your side. “Exactly, which included giving me painkillers when I needed them. Can you not do the same for (Y/n)?” 

 

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Seungmin turns from the cabinet to glare back at Mingi. You can’t tell if they’re actually arguing or if this is some elaborate mean friendship that they have, and frankly you don’t really care. You just know that, the more its talked about, the more your chest aches. 

 

Seungmin comes back to your side, gripping another bag of (presumably) acetaminophen. “I’m sorry the drip is empty, (Y/n), Nayeon and I switched shifts only a few minutes ago, and she was sleeping when I got here.” He explains, unhooking your line from the previous bag and attaching the new one. “All better.” He glares at Mingi, “Need anything else?” He asks Mingi more than he asks you.

 

Mingi looks curiously over to you, and you shake your head. “Then I’ll be right outside if you need me.” Seungmin leaves the room, not closing the door behind him.

 

“That kid drives me crazy,” Mingi crosses his arms, “Is he even old enough to have learned how to take care of sick people? I really don’t think so.”

 

He did look quite young, in Mingi’s defence. “Do you actually not like him?”

 

“I didn’t feel one way or another until he left you without treatment, even if only for a few minutes.”

 

… “It’s fine, Mingi.”

 

He looks over at you, arms still crossed. “No, it’s not. You’re in pain. And today is important.”

 

Important? “Why is that?”

 

“Hongjoong and the others are going to come by and decide where you should work! That is a very important decision! And I’d rather that you were not in pain while it happened.”

 

And that is very important… why?

 

But you don’t ask that. Instead, “The others…?”

 

“Do you remember those people we met the first day you were here? When we went on a tour?” Your expression answers his question. “Uh, Jongho, Yeosang, Wooyoung, and San?”

 

Ah, there you go. How could you forget? “And Hongjoong and Seonghwa will be there, too. And me. And I guess anyone else that wants to come.”

 

“They’re coming here?” You ask, wondering if all of these people will be able to comfortably fit in the room without crowding each other.

 

Mingi nods, lifting his wrist to check his watch. “In only a couple minutes, actually.”

 

What? How did they even know that you would be awake? Wonderful. This is something that you probably would have liked to prepare for more, but you guess that going into it completely blind could have its benefits as well. Somehow. Maybe.

 

For the first time, you’re suddenly aware of what you’re wearing. And it’s definitely not that freaky ass outfit Seonghwa made you put on. Instead, it’s the pajamas that you packed with you. The very same pajamas that Seonghwa had teased you about. Lovely. Who dressed you? Who went into your room? 

 

You don’t know what you want the answer to those questions to be. On one hand, do you trust anyone here to see you in your underwear? On the other hand, do you want to think that it was Mingi that saw you in your underwear? Not quite. Maybe it was Nayeon. She was nice enough. 

 

Anyways, that is information to be concerned about another time. For now, you need to focus on what is about to happen. You do suppose that the job you’re assigned will have quite an effect on the things that you are allowed to do… so it is an important decision. Will you get any say in it, you wonder?

 

The silence in your room is soon broken by the sound of a group moving toward it. That was quick.

 

Seungmin hadn’t shut the door behind him, so the group is able to simply stride right in. 

 

Hongjoong and Seonghwa take up the lead, talking amongst themselves. Seonghwa sure seems to be in better spirits this morning (not that you care), and Hongjoong seems to be over any outburst that Seonghwa had had.

 

Following behind them is the group that Mingi had prepared you for. Wooyoung, who you have interacted with quite a lot by this point; San, who you’re still slightly bitter with; and Yeosang and Jongho, both of whom you really have no opinion of.

 

And there is one surprise guest, Yunho. “What are you doing here?” Mingi asks Yunho when he sees him, a confused look on his face.

 

Yunho frowns. “I wanted to see that (Y/n) was really awake so that I could stop worrying about you.” He peeks over at you. “Congratulations on being Chosen, by the way!”

 

You’re left to ponder that sentence while you wait for everyone to find a spot to stand in the room. He wanted to make sure… that you were awake… so that he could stop worrying about… Mingi…? Does that make sense?

 

Hongjoong claps his hands together, bringing your attention (as well as everyone else’s) to him in a second. “Good morning, (Y/n).” He smiles, “Has Mingi told you what we are going to talk about today?” Hongjoong looks between you and Mingi, who is still standing at your side.

 

“Uh,” you start, “my job.”

 

Hongjoong nods his head. “Exactly! It’s always fun to do job assignments, right, Seonghwa?” His gaze shifts to the man at his left. Seonghwa looks about as thrilled to see you as he ever has.

 

“Very fun.” He deadpans.

 

Hongjoong gestures to the others in the room, “Why don’t you all introduce yourselves and your positions for (Y/n)?”

 

“We’ve all met her already.” Jongho says, not bothering to look at you from his spot to your left. His arms are crossed and you’re once again struck by the size of his biceps.

 

Hongjoong gives a less than genuine smile. “I am well aware, Jongho, but let's recap for her, shall we?”

 

Jongho lets out a sigh. Clearly, someone besides Seonghwa is also not pleased to be here. “I’m Jongho. I’m in charge of the farms.”

 

San is standing to Jongho’s left, and he goes next. “Good to see you again, (Y/n).” He smiles, “I’m San and I’m in an administrative role.”

 

Next to San is Hongjoong, and next to Hongjoong is Seonghwa, so the introductions skip to Yeosang.

 

“Yeah, good to see you. I’m Yeosang and… I guess you would call me a mechanic.”

 

Wooyoung is last. “You know me, I’m in charge of the kitchens.”

 

You offer an awkward smile to each man as they move down the line. What an odd bunch of people to be running a cult, no? You wonder how many of them genuinely believe what Hongjoong is telling them, but you quickly stop thinking about it. Probably each and every one of them. Otherwise, wouldn’t they just leave? It seems to you like they would each have the means to escape if they wanted to… and yet they don’t. So they must be devoted.

 

Or also Hongjoong’s level of insane, which is much less comforting.

 

“Thank you,” Hongjoong says, glancing at Jongho, “Was that so hard?”

 

Jongho opens his mouth to reply, but must think better of it. A tiny smirk graces Hongjoong’s face for a moment before it quickly evaporates, leaving only his usual smile. “Well, who needs a worker?”

 

“I don’t.” Jongho says almost as soon as Hongjoong asks the question. 

 

Sheesh. What did you ever do to him?

 

“Yeah, uh, I don’t really either.” Yeosang gives you a sheepish smile. 

 

San looks at Wooyoung. “Well, I could take her.” He pauses, looking at Hongjoong. “If you think that’s a good idea.”

 

Hongjoong shakes his head. “No, probably not for now. Maybe in a couple of months.” Hongjoong winks at you. “Wooyoung,” he turns, “do you need anyone? Or, better question, do you have room for another?”

 

Wooyoung smiles at Hongjoong, “I don’t see why not!”

 

Hongjoong looks to you for your approval, “Is that alright with you?”

 

If you’re being honest, being in the kitchens is probably the place that you would enjoy the most. You are a barista, afterall.

 

Hold on.

 

You’re a barista. 

 

Your job. Your boss. 

 

You must’ve been reported missing by now. They have to be looking for you. If you really had been out for five days… There's no way your disappearance has escaped anyone’s perception. The police have to be looking for you. Haseul and Jungeun know where you went, at least somewhat. 

 

But that does raise the question… where are the police? There can’t be that many commune style farms in this general area, right? Surely if Haseul or Jungeun told the police that you went looking for Mingi, whom they (or at least Juneun) knew was living on a commune, there wouldn’t be that many possibilities for where you could be. 

 

Well fuck. If they’re not here by now, can you really keep believing that they will come? The logical part of you would say no; but now is definitely not the time for logic. This entire situation is against any sort of logic. It isn’t logical to be trapped on a farm with a cult; and yet here you are. Crazier things can happen than it taking a few days for cops to spring into action.

 

Of course, you have already run circles around this idea. It’s quite possible that they will never come, because it’s quite possible that someone is misleading your friends and family into thinking that you’re okay. You can nearly feel your eye twitch at the memory of giving San your phone so easily.

 

Mingi pokes your arm, startling out of your thoughts. “(Y/n)?”

 

“Oh,” you shake your head a bit to clear your previous train of thought. “I guess.”

 

“Great,” Jongho says, looking at Hongjoong, “Can I leave?” Hongjoong waves his hand, ushering Jongho to go. He quickly takes heed of Hongjoong’s action and leaves about as fast as possible. Seriously, what’s his problem?

 

As if Jongho had never been there at all, Hongjoong doesn’t skip a beat. “Typically the Chosen only stay in the clinic for a few days after they wake up,” he glances at Mingi, “but something tells me you’ll take a little longer to get on your feet.”

 

Mingi looks between you and Hongjoong. “Why are you looking at me?”

 

Seonghwa rolls his eyes at Mingi’s question, and seemingly really sees you for the first time since he entered the room. His eyes land on your torso, smirking as he realizes what you’re wearing. “Nice to see you in those cute pajamas again, princess.”

 

You frown at him, neglecting to give him the response that you know he’s looking for. Instead, you look over to see Mingi’s reaction to your nickname. His mouth is slightly agape, like he’s trying to think of something to say, but can’t quite grasp a response. 

 

Not wanting Mingi to say something that he might regret, you jump in. “I’m surprised you remember them.”

 

Seonghwa raises his eyebrows. “How could I forget that wonderful night we had?”

 

That gives you pause. Why did he have to say it like that? Your face scrunches in disgust as a smile spreads across Seonghwa’s face. You hazard a glance toward Mingi again and are not surprised to see that he looks even more flustered, his eyes wide as he stares at Seonghwa. Yunho wears a very similar expression, except he’s looking at you rather than Seonghwa. 

 

Yeosang clears his throat from the other side of the room, but it sounds more like a choked laugh. “Sorry, sorry,” he starts, bringing a hand up to pat his chest a bit, “frog in my throat. Excuse me.” Yeosang continues hitting his chest and poorly attempting to cover his laughter with coughs as he leaves the room. 

 

Wooyoung doesn’t seem to be as privy to the joke. “Uh, yeah. I should probably get to preparing lunch.” He looks expectantly around the room, as if waiting for someone to tell him to not leave. “Well, I’m looking forward to working with you, (Y/n)!”

 

Wooyoung grabs Yunho’s arm as he walks past him, pulling the larger man out with him. Yunho waves to you as he disappears around the corner with Wooyoung.

 

San, who has been very quiet during this entire encounter, suddenly seems to be very aware of the situation. “I’ll get going then, too.” He smiles at you once more. “Like I said, good to see you again, (Y/n).” 

 

San leaves, leaving only Mingi, Hongjoong, Seonghwa, and yourself. Seonghwa is still smirking at you, Mingi still looks incredibly flustered, and Hongjoong is… well, Hongjoong. Smiling his same, creepy little smile. He clears his throat a tiny bit, looking between Seonghwa and Mingi. “Would you two mind giving (Y/n) and I a few minutes alone?”

 

The smirk quickly falls off of Seonghwa’s face as he pries his eyes off of you in order to look at Hongjoong. The question seems to shock Mingi out of his stupor, however, as his expression goes neutral and he looks over at you. 

 

You want to shake your head. You don’t want to be left alone with Hongjoong, not for one single second. The mere thought makes anxiety start to pump through your veins. But, before you can communicate any of this to Mingi, he’s letting you know that he’ll just be outside if you need him. 

 

Seonghwa follows Mingi out as he goes, looking rather conflicted as he does. You want to say something, anything, that will keep one of them from leaving the room. But you can’t get anything out, and Seonghwa slides the door shut behind him, leaving you and Hongjoong completely alone. You continue staring at the closed door, not wanting to acknowledge the new situation that you’ve found yourself in.

 

Hongjoong moves from his spot at the end of your bed, coming into your field of vision and completely blocking the door so that you’re forced to look at him. His expression hasn’t changed from his usual, cool smile. He takes a couple steps closer to you, resting his hands on the rail support of the bed. “Please, (Y/n),” he begins, bending so that his face is level with your own. “Tell me how you’re really feeling.”

 

You blink. About a thousand possible responses run through your head. If he wants honesty… “Pretty shitty.”

 

Hongjoong’s eyebrows squeeze in confusion. “And why is that?”

 

Once again, you blink at him. What does he want you to say? “Where should I start?” You resist the urge to spit on him, despite him being close enough for you to reach. “For starters, I’m being held hostage by a cult led by some psychopath,” Hongjoong bites his lip to restrain a smile, “that tried to kill me.”

 

Hongjoong clicks his tongue, shaking his head. “I wasn’t trying to kill you; if I had, you would be dead.” He establishes eye contact with you. “Why would I want to kill you?”

 

Again, another question that seems very obvious to you. It’s clear that he’s just playing with you, wanting you to say the things that he so desperately needs to hear, apparently. What a stupid game, one that you do not want to play. “Listen, Hongjoong, I don’t know how insane you really are; as in, I don’t know how much of this bullshit you’ve actually convinced yourself is true, but you must know that stabbing someone typically means that you want them dead.”

 

Hongjoong rolls his eyes. “Come on, (Y/n), aren’t you smarter than that?” He tilts his head to the side, giving you a curious look. “You have to realize that I can’t play favorites, even if I have them.”

 

What the fuck kind of thing to say is that?

 

“I can’t treat you any differently than anyone else, that’s not how this all works. You simply have to trust me, (Y/n), you would be dead if I had wanted you to be.” He reestablishes his smile. “You get to know where to aim.” He chuckles. “Anyhow,” he returns himself to his full height, taking his hands off of your bed. “Do you remember?”

 

You have a feeling you know what he’s referring to, but you’re not going to be the one to say it. “Remember what?”

 

If you had had the chance to be relieved by the distance he put between you two, Hongjoong quickly took it away. He swoops back in until he’s only inches away from your face, and you’re left having to lean as far back into the wall as possible (which is not very far). He brings his hand up, placing it under your chin and forcing you to look up at him. “Need a refresher?”

 

You jerk your chin out of his grasp, but he quickly reestablishes his hold. “No, I do not.”

 

“So you do remember?”

 

Well, not quite. “I was informed that you kissed me, but I don’t remember it happening.”

 

Hongjoong’s smile grows. “You were informed wrong, dear.” He pokes your arm with his free hand. “ You kissed me .” 

 

You squint at him, attempting to make the most disgusted face that you can. “I did not. You drugged me.”

 

He contemplates this statement for a second. “Technically it was Wooyoung that drugged you.” You roll your eyes at that one. “And I can confidently say that you initiated that exchange.”

 

The urge to start a ‘did not’ ‘did too’ argument is strong, but you ignore it. “Either way, Hongjoong, I was drugged. Meaning I was not in my right mind.”

 

“What do they say about drunk actions? That they’re sober thoughts?” He casts a quick glimpse to your lips, smiling all the while before returning his eyes to yours. “You’re not leaving anytime soon, (Y/n), might as well enjoy yourself.”

 

As if he had never been close to you at all, he releases you and quickly takes a few strides back. “There’s nothing wrong with finding me attractive. Everyone does. When you’re able to admit it to yourself, let me know.” 

 

Hongjoong leaves you with one final wink before sliding the door open and making a quick exit.

 

What the fuck was that? You know that he was just playing with you, but seriously, what? You? Kissing him? Preposterous. You finding him attractive? Even funnier. 

 

… Anyways.

 

Before you can think on that whole exchange for too long, another person is poking their head into your room. Expecting it to be Mingi, you let yourself relax, squeezing your eyes shut with a groan. 

 

“Don’t be like that, princess.”

 

Your eyes snap open and you’re immediately at attention once more. Seonghwa shuts the door behind him as he makes his way into the room once again. He stops shy of where Hongjoong had stood, and you’re grateful for the distance he keeps. That man has manhandled you enough for your entire lifetime. “What do you want?”

 

A small smile graces Seonghwa’s features, but it’s anything but nice. “What do I want?” He crosses his arms behind his back, pretending to ponder your question. “I want you,” he leaves a bit of a dramatically long pause as if he could trick you into thinking that’s what he was going to say, “to stay away from Hongjoong.”

 

You don’t hesitate to respond. “Gladly. Give me my car keys.”

 

Seonghwa sucks in a breath. “You are funny, princess, but you know that’s not what I meant.” He pauses again, making you wonder what you’re supposed to say before he starts speaking again. “See, when this situation has happened in the past, and, trust me, it has, I’ve normally just disposed of the issue my own way.” Seonghwa smiles to himself. “And Hongjoong always moves on fairly quickly. But I have the strange feeling that this would be different. So I’m simply warning you now.”

 

As little as you want to do with Hongjoong, this possessiveness is kind of pretentiously annoying. Who is Seonghwa to tell you what to do? ‘Stay away from him?’ Is this a K-drama? “And what if I don’t?” You ask, simply to see his reaction.

 

“If you don’t,” Seonghwa takes a step closer to your bed, “I will take care of it. Hongjoong would forgive me eventually. Everyone makes mistakes.”

 

Oh, he’s serious. 

 

“So, princess,” he smiles at you with as much malice as you think he can muster, “do you understand?”

 

Not wanting to speak out of the mild fear that your voice might crack, you nod in response to his question.

 

“What a good girl.” Seonghwa turns to begin making his way to the door before pausing, “It’s in your best interests to not share this conversation with anyone else, but to remember it clearly.” With that, he leaves.

 

---

 

The next couple of days go by without a fuss. 


Your chest is starting to feel better, and Seungmin and Nayeon agree that you’re alright to leave the infirmary whenever you’re ready. They’ve had you up and walking around, as well as weaning you off of your Tylenol. 

 

As much as you don’t want to even pretend to cooperate with the situation, you are starting to get quite bored with staying in bed all day. The thought of escape is, of course, also quite compelling. You probably would have very little chance of escaping from this clinic room, so you will have to leave eventually. 

 

Really the only thing that’s been keeping you from saying you’re ready to go for the past couple days is, well, Mingi. He watches you like you’re made of glass and hardly ever lets you leave his sight. He barely leaves you for his meals (and to collect yours), and often makes himself comfortable on the floor of the infirmary. His working obligations seem to have fallen by the wayside, with him mumbling something about Yunho on the occasions when you have asked if he should be working. 

 

Why he’s acting like you’re going to die any second is beyond you. Unless he knows something you don’t, which you suppose wouldn’t be that implausible, his behavior is almost entirely inexplicable. Sure, you guys were best friends. Sure, there might have (emphasis on the might) been something there. But that was all months ago, and this is the same man that supposedly joined a cult for the express purpose of leaving you behind. 

 

Honestly, his behavior since your arrival has been, well, erratic and nearly inexplicable. When you arrived, he hugged you and it seemed that he was happy you were there. You two had time together at the bonfire, time that really felt good. Mingi seemed to be himself. But the entire second day had been… off. When you had thought that you would be leaving, he had a complete and total meltdown. 

 

It brings a lump in your throat just thinking about the way that he was clinging onto your waist, begging you to stay.

 

Was that really the behavior of your Mingi? With the trauma that he’s been through, you suppose that the extreme reliance on some semblance of his past life makes sense; but you’ve yet to have a mental break like it seems he has. What happened that made Mingi change? 

 

God, this makes your head hurt. There’s too many questions that will probably never be answered. You can’t very well ask Mingi to tell you about something that he’s probably repressed. You couldn’t bring yourself to make him relive anything that could hurt him, but the curiosity is painful. Even asking Mingi basic questions could bring the risk of upsetting him majorly, which is not something that you will risk putting him through. 

 

This all is way too fucking complicated. When did everything go so wrong? Was it when Mingi left? When you graduated and couldn’t get a job? When that man had told you his name was Mingi? When you decided to search for Mingi? When you found him? When you decided to go? What’s the furthest back decision that could be to blame for all of this mess? Why had he even left in the first place? None of it makes sense.

 

Thankfully, a knock at the door of the infirmary stops you from thinking about it any further. Before you respond, the guest invites themselves in and you’re not surprised to see Mingi’s smiling face poke through the door. “Good morning!” He balances a tray in his hand as he shuts the door. “I brought breakfast!”

 

You smile, happy that he’s in good spirits as it is right now. That’s all you can really hope for; that Mingi stays happy and safe. If one can really be safe in this situation remains to be seen, but you figure that Mingi will be alright barring any terrible turn of events. 

 

Mingi quickly is at your side, placing the tray into your lap and lingering at your bedside. You thank him for bringing you breakfast, which he is quick to brush off as nothing.

 

“What are your plans for the day?” You ask him as you start eating, though you essentially know what his answer will be.

 

Mingi shrugs. “Nothing, really. Is there something that you want to do?”

 

“Well,” you start, not entirely sure if you want to go ahead with your idea. You pause for a few seconds before deciding that you will simply lose your mind if you stay in this infirmary for even one more day. “I think I’m ready to start working.”

 

The smile quickly falls from Mingi’s face. You watch as he considers the idea in his mind, his face ever so slightly changing with every new thought you can imagine him having. Finally, his face lands on a very neutral expression. “Are you sure that you’re ready? You feel good enough?” He is clearly genuine in his questions.

 

You nod, “I’m getting a little stir-crazy, honestly.” Though you mean it seriously, you smile for Mingi’s sake.

 

Mingi returns your smile. “If you’re sure that you feel up to it, I’ll tell Wooyoung.”

 

“I definitely am, and Nayeon and Seungmin agree that I am good to go whenever.”

 

Mingi chuckles a bit, “Yeah, I know. They told me a couple days ago…” He watches your eyebrows twist in confusion, “But I didn’t want to rush you! And you being sick here is a great excuse for me to dump my work on Yunho.” He shrugs, bringing his hands up in a dramatic gesture.

 

You laugh and Mingi joins you. It’s one of the best laughs that you’ve had in a while, not that that’s really saying much, but it brings you some comfort. Mingi is still Mingi, even if he is a little different. He can still make you laugh and can still make you feel better.

 

You finish up your breakfast as Mingi tells you about the work that’s being done on the farm, not that he knows all the exact details. Essentially some of the earliest planted crops are beginning to be harvested, but the entire farm still has a bit to go before it’s ready. The livestock are beginning to grow their winter coats as the days get colder and shorter. 

 

Honestly, you would have never pegged your Mingi as a farmer, but he seems to have a real passion for it now. As terrible as everything around the two of you is, you’re happy that he is able to find simple pleasures out of something so daily and routine as corn and pigs. It’s actually kind of heartwarming for you to watch the twinkle in his eyes as he talks about the farm at large. He seems to be so proud of everything that he has done in participation. 

 

It makes you wonder if you will have the same sense of accomplishment, but you quickly decide that you won’t. That feeling of accomplishment is the same as the feeling of complacency, and you will never be complacent here. Not if you can help it. 

 

Once you’re finished, Mingi gathers your tray and leaves, promising to let Wooyoung know of your decision.

 

While you’re slightly nervous about leaving the (minor) comforts of the infirmary and taking on responsibilities with unknown consequences, you feel good about your decision. Getting out of this room is perhaps the first step to getting the hell off of this farm. 

 

Which begs the question, how do you plan on escaping? 

Notes:

me trying to think of a reason for yunho to be there so that i could write ot8 all in one room for the first time LKDSJF:LSDKJF:SD anyways HI I AM SOOOO SORRY THAT I DROPPED OFF THE FACE OF THE PLANET!!!!!!!!!!! i swear not a day went by where i didn't think of this fic and experience crushing guilt over not writing :( but literally my first semester in uni kicked my ass and my brain stopped working and yeah. aljskdfjalsdjf;

but um... anyways... anyone want to guess where ms eggyleggy will be january 30 and january 31 2022 ... any guesses ... any at all ... maybe somewhere in the vicinity of los angeles ... half way across the damn country from where she lives ... but why ... :LISDJF:OJDF{EQJPEJF:LDKSJ:FLKj

IM SHITTING MY PANTS. IM SEEING ATEEZ IN 4 WEEKS. FOUR FUCKING WEEKS. jesus fucking christ. im gonna see choi san with my bare naked corneas. . . . . . . . . . . . . . and . . . . . . . hi touch . . . . . . . . . the very hands writing this fic are gonna touch kim hongjoong. IM ILLLLL IM PHYSICALLY ILL. quite literally shaking as I write this. my DAD is coming w me bc i have no atiny friends this is so embarrassing but i made him a wooyoung headband so he'll blend in im sure

anyways pls comment how i can make yunho fall in love with me <3 and please comment any of your thoughts or feelings or anything at all <3 ALKDJFA;LKS AGAIN I AM SOOOOO SORRY I WENT MIA I REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS CHAPTER I MISS INTERACTING W YOU GUYS SO MUCH ACKAKLDJFL;AK okay bye bye