Chapter Text
You let the thought simmer in your mind for a few days.
You and Mingi continued to talk and catch up, and he seemed to be getting more relaxed and like himself as time went on. Its been about two days since you got into contact. Now, its Tuesday night. Mingi is urging you to come visit on Saturday. He keeps telling you how badly he wants to see you in person and, if you’re being honest with yourself, you desperately want to see him, too. It had been so long, and you could probably kill for one of his hugs.
That’s how he used to always greet you, with a hug. His signature style was the pick-up-spin. He’d tightly wrap his arms around the lower part of your waist and hoist you up, spinning the both of you until you were dizzy. Then he’d set you down and give you that big smile, his eyes shrinking as his smile grew larger and larger. Sometimes, he’d leave his hands on your waist and you would simply stand there, admiring the feeling. Thinking back, you wonder why you had never appreciated the greetings more.
Anyhow, you still have your reservations about visiting Mingi. Sure, you have the weekend off and it wouldn’t be a big deal to go. However, you have to take into account the fact that you are a single woman, and it probably wouldn’t be that hard to kidnap you. Then again, you find it very hard to believe that Mingi would ever willingly put you in danger. If he thought that you would get hurt, there is no way he would be inviting you.
---
While you’re at work later that day, you still are laboring over your decision. You even find yourself about to ask your boss; but he seems busy, as he had bought another painting to hang up. Though this painting he had purchased was not another ass naked lady, it wasn’t really a step above her. It was an ass naked man. Your boss had happily proclaimed ‘we have an Adam for Eve’ when he showed it to you when you arrived for your shift. Great. Just what you wanted. Another nude portrait to stare at for hours at work.
You try to at least look busy, despite your mind being occupied and there being absolutely no customers in the shop. You’re about to make sure that the coffee makers are hot for the tenth time today, until you hear your phone ding from your back pocket. Looking up to make sure your boss is still preoccupied with ‘Adam,’ you quickly pull your phone out to see the message.
To your surprise (and mild disappointment) its Jungeun. Apparently she’s got a group of friends from school to agree to hang out tonight, and is wondering if you’ll join. You think about it for a second. Do you really want to go out drinking on a Tuesday night? When Mingi was on the forefront of your mind? You would probably end up embarrassing yourself, but you decide that you should go. Plus, then you can tell them all about your dilemma. For a second, you wonder who all will be there, but decide against asking. You really shouldn’t be on your phone in front of your boss.
“(Y/n), come over here and let me know if Adam looks crooked,” your boss says unnecessarily loud, beckoning to you from behind the corner. You sigh as you move out to join him on the floor. At least you have something to look forward to tonight.
---
The place that the group of friends had decided on was one that had been popular amongst you all when you were in school. The bar is technically named ‘Wonderland,’ but had been affectionately nicknamed ‘Dirt’ by students long before yourself. The nickname was given because the place was ‘dirt’ cheap, a necessity for any university student.
When you arrive at Dirt, you sit in your car for a moment. Do you really want to go in? Really? Wouldn’t it be better to just go home and seriously think about visiting Mingi? Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you remind yourself that you deserve this. Your whole life didn’t need to revolve around Mingi… right?
Grabbing your bag from the passenger’s seat, you open your door and step out of the car. You’re immediately greeted by the loud din coming from the inside of the bar, but its almost a comforting sound. The cool, nearly-autumn air soothes some of your nerves. When was the last time you had gone out? It had to have been before graduation-- before Mingi left.
You walk into the bar, stepping over the threshold and taking in the familiar sights. The long, wooden bar that ran from end to end on the left side of the room; the circular tables with mismatched chairs; and the walls plastered in pictures of patrons past. As soon as you glance to the ‘Wall of Fame,’ you can’t help but walk over to it. The ‘Wall of Fame’ was devoted to every and any one that was able to finish the signature ‘Wonderland Meal.’ The meal consisted of a quadruple cheeseburger, 12 chicken wings, a serving of tater tots, and a literal half gallon of Corona. Since you had visited last, there clearly had been more winners. New students that you didn’t recognize peppered the walls, mostly uninteresting frat boys, but you knew what you were looking for. Now surrounded by a cluster of others, was the photo Mingi had had taken of him when he completed the challenge.
He had insisted on you being in the picture with him. His arm was flung over your shoulders, holding you close to him. You were looking up at him, holding a hand up and trying to hide your face from the camera while he was smiling radiantly at it. The flash had been on, and the background surrounding the two of you hadn’t developed in the picture. It looked like the two of you were completely alone, with only each other in a black abyss. Mingi looked so happy.
And he had been happy, until the next day. He was so sick that he couldn’t even get himself out of bed. Fulfilling your duties as his best friend, you hadn’t gone to any of your classes that day so that you could take care of him. He moaned and groaned the entire day, whining about how you could have let him do this to himself. You consistently reminded him that you had told him it would be a terrible idea, and how he had ignored your advice. He still blamed it on you, though.
“Hey, (Y/n), you in there?”
You’re immediately pulled out of the memory by the feeling of a hand on your shoulder. You turn to face the owner, and find Jungeun standing at your side. “I called your name, like, three times. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine!” You assure her, trying your hardest to put a genuine smile on your face. It doesn’t work very well. “Is everyone here yet?”
Jungeun removes her hand from your shoulder to gesture over to one of the tables behind you. Sure enough, its full with a few others that you had known from school. Changbin, of course, along with Haseul, Juyeon, and Soojin. You can’t help but feel the usual ache in your stomach when you comprehend Mingi’s absence. Changbin is the first to notice that you’ve turned around, and he waves at you happily. The others quickly take notice and start to wave you over.
Blushing, you make your way over to the table with Jungeun in tow. You two take the only two empty spots at the table. Once the awkwardness of your semi-late arrival passes, the evening takes off.
---
“Wait, (Y/n), tell them about the Mingi situation,” Jungeun giggles, leaning back in her chair so hard that it almost tips over.
Everyone at the table bursts out laughing in response that you almost forget what she had said by the time everyone cools down. Your cheeks hurt from smiling, and the pleasant warmth coursing through your body does nothing to stop you from blurting it out.
“Well, remember Song Mingi?” You ask, bringing your glass up to take a sip as the group watches you. “How he dropped out? Apparently he joined a commune,” you cut yourself off with a laugh. A commune! Everyone joins you in your laughter.
“A commune? Who joins a commune in 2021?” Haseul manages to choke out, laughing so hard that she looks like she’s struggling to breathe.
“That’s what I’m wondering!” Juyeon yells, perhaps a bit louder than he anticipated.
“Shhhhh guys, wait until you hear the rest,” Jungeun brings a finger to her lips, exaggerating her motions.
Once you’ve caught your breath again, you resume, “He invited me to come visit.”
This inspires an entirely new bout of laughter, and you suddenly feel dizzy. The weight of reality settles on your shoulders again. You set the glass in your hand down, pushing it towards the center of the table. God, you are so going to regret this tomorrow.
Your mood must influence the table, because everyone is suddenly as quiet as you are. Haseul glances at Soojin, who glances at Jungeun, who glances at you.
“Why the sour mood all of a sudden?” Changbin asks, his pink cheeks serving to make him look only more confused. Juyeon, sitting on Changbin’s left, pinches his side, but he does not take the hint. “Oh yeah, (Y/n) had a thing fo-”
He’s cut off by Soojin slapping him upside the head.
Everyone looks over to you, trying to gauge your reaction. Honestly, you don’t even know how to react. You’re dizzy, the light above the table is too bright, and Changbin isn’t making sense at all. You feel your lips melt into a frown. This isn’t right. You know what Changbin was going to say, and it just wasn’t true. You place your elbows up on the table, leaning your head down to rest your face in your hands. You feel like crying.
“Are you going to go?” You hear Haseul ask from your right. She says it so softly that you almost don’t hear it.
You take your head out of your hands and notice the wetness left by your eyes. Huh. You had started crying. You turn to face her, the wetness on your cheeks turning cold as the air moves over them. She looks serious, the flush of her face completely gone.
“I don’t know.”
“I think you should,” Jungeun cuts in.
Now you turn to look at her. Similar to Haseul, a solemn expression has come over her face and she seems to have sobered up.
“I really want to,” you start, but a sob works its way up your chest and cuts you off. For a second, you wonder if other people in the bar are watching. “But, wha- what if its dangerous?”
Jungeun scootches her chair closer to yours and reaches her arms out to wrap around you. She crushes you into a hug, petting the back of your head. To your side, you can hear Changbin start to ask another question, “What if its a cul-” before he is once again cut off by something you can’t see with your face buried in Jungeun’s shoulder.
After a moment, Jungeun extends her arms and pulls back from you, making sure she can look in your eyes. “Do you think Mingi would put you in danger?” You sniffle and shake your head, bringing a hand up to wipe the tears from your eyes.
“Then you should go.” You hear Haseul encourage from behind you. Jungeun nods in agreement and lets go of your shoulders. You lean back in your chair to take in the consensus of the group.
Soojin and Juyeon are also nodding at you. Changbin looks a bit doubtful, giving Soojin a nasty side-eye. You feel Haseul rest a hand on your right shoulder, and when you look at her, she’s smiling brightly.
You scan over your friends’ faces, and think about how wonderful it would have been if Mingi had been here tonight. He was the only person you truly wanted to see. Nevertheless, you smile at them all. They had helped you reach your decision.
“I’ll go.”