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English
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Published:
2022-05-15
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1,113
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1/1
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Set The Fire To The Third Bar

Summary:

Sometimes she thinks about it too much. So much so, she becomes a little resentful. With Pote, with herself and even with him. It’s the sheepish truth that she holds.

Notes:

A very itty bitty plot bunny that I just couldn’t ignore.
Sometime after season 3 but pre-NOLA. Teresa ruminates on where James could be and what’s become of him.

Soundtrack that fueled this:

Set The Fire To The Third Bar- Snow Patrol

So Far Away- Faunts

June- Florence and The Machine

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The Arizona sun sets in the reflection of the serene, baby-blue pool below her.

 

How calming, Teresa muses to herself when her thoughts are anything but that.

 

She stands alone on that balcony around the same hour everyday. A dedicated ritual in the madness of her life. A reprieve, she likes to think of it. Though these days it seems to bring her more agony than naught, still she goes. As if waiting for something.

 

That hour is the only time where she allows her mind to wander from all things business-related. And boy, does it wander.

 

If she’s being completely honest, she only thinks about him.

 

About them.

 

About what she could’ve done differently and if he maybe would’ve stayed. Maybe if she’d been more open with him, trusting. Communicative. Grateful.

 

Sometimes she thinks about it too much. So much so, she becomes a little resentful. With Pote, with herself and even with… him. It’s the sheepish truth that she holds.


Stupid, stupid. She hastily runs a hand through soft tresses.

 

Stop brooding, she chastises herself.

 

It is what it is.

He made his choice.

And you made yours.

 

Still, on a warm and colorful Phoenix evening she contemplates…

 

Is he looking at that very same sunset? Does he still like to sleep in late most mornings? Did he finally get to eat a decent ribeye?

 

Is he… happy?

 

Her thoughts gravitate to more heart-wrenching places. Things about moving on. She’d seen him that way once before, with another.

 

Domestic, normal and committed.

 

She didn’t care for him then. Hated him if anything. But now, well.. the idea just about shatters her.

 

Him with a stable, pretty girl. Somebody  warm, somebody open. Someone who can effortlessly and utterly trust in him.

 

The opposite of her.


It’s everything he deserves so why does the image claw at her throat? It forms a lump so big she thinks she’ll choke on the very air she breathes in.

 

She realizes too late there’s so much she doesn’t know and it feels like it might kill her. She’d never asked him about Kim but now she almost wished she had. Maybe it would’ve provided her with a better understanding of him and the things he wanted. He’d clearly had an endgame in mind but Teresa never learned the details of it. Just that he wanted ‘to own a couple of bricks’ and get very high up. Enough to get out.

 

And then what? A house, a ring and 2.5 kids?


It certainly seemed that way. Before she ever really knew him, back in Dallas. She’d assumed everything he ever did was for Kim, the way Guero had once done for her. She recalls the way James walked into the first home that he ever brought her to. When he reached over to kiss the red-headed southern belle sitting inattentively on the couch. How natural he was. And when Kim took her upstairs, she saw his black next to her vibrant in their huge walk-in closet. The his and hers vanity in the bathroom. Everything pointed to a more than comfortable life most couples dream of. 

Was that something he’d always craved? To share his life with another? Or was Kim a special exception? Was she? 


Teresa doesn’t dare to picture it. She can’t. Because the harsh, painful fact of the matter is that with him gone, none of those things would include her.

 

It’s haunting.

He’s finally out and she has not the slightest clue what’s become of him. The man she’d spent the last couple months with- her confidant, lover and right hand- out of reach like the fading half light of the sun before her. A stranger once again.

She knows she has no right; he walked out and hasn’t reached out since. Message sent loud and clear. She won’t overstep by attempting contact. At least not yet. It’s only been a few months. Maybe soon…

 

For now, all she does is wonder.

 

Suddenly the balcony feels slightly chilly. The remnants of the waning dusk tell her it’s almost time to go back inside.

 

But she lingers, her memories whirling. She allows herself this at least. It’s all she has left of him. Memories, what-ifs, and this bittersweet house with this lonely balcony.

 

It’s one more thing Teresa will say goodbye to in just a few days when she and the others head to New Orleans indefinitely to expand. She’ll leave the house to Taza to look after. She doesn’t have it in her heart to sell it.

 

If she’s being honest, she’s relieved. This home has only felt emptier over the course of the past few months. She knows it’s because the longer she stays, the more it sets in that he’s gone. A new start will do good in helping her move on.

 

She exhales, reminiscing. One last look out into the imminent Phoenix nightfall.

 

How life-changing this place has been, she thinks. When she first arrived in this new city after all those months in Europe, she had not the slightest clue. James at her side and Pote in tow, she’d arrived with a solid business front and it felt like she’d had the world at her feet. Now, she’s gotten more established and grown twice as big. Just as she planned. This was always the goal- and she succeeded. 

 

So why does she want nothing more than to rewind her life to a few weeks back? 

 

It hits her that she would trade it in a heartbeat. To stay small and local in Phoenix, with the most important person at her side than to take on the world and hold it in the palm of her hand. 

 

She wants late, cozy nights spent on the couch sipping on Pinot Noir. She wants Sunday barbecues while lounging out by the pool. And the occasional family dinner spent downstairs together, just the three of them. She wants it all back. But most importantly she wants him… under the same roof, just a door away. 


Teresa doesn’t realize she’s crying until she feels the salty wetness of a tear fresh on her lip. She quickly swipes at it, as if doing so will wipe away her melancholy too.

 

When she’s finally gathered herself enough, she makes her way to the sliding door. Suddenly, she stops in her tracks to look back. The air grows colder and vacant by the second. 

 

 

As if giving an adieu to a home of prominent memories, both good and bad, she smiles gently out into the distance. She’ll miss Phoenix and everything that came with it.  

 

 

 

It’s the last sunset she spends out there on that balcony.

 

 

 

Notes:

Thank you so much for reading. I haven’t posted anything in months but when the pen calls to you, it just does! I’ve missed my OTP. Happy to be back❤️