Archive of Our Own ^beta

The nights on Ember Island were warm.

The sounds of the waves lapping at the shore, and the animals that inhibited the the islands undergrowth provided a soothing background noise.

Fire light could be seen flickering against the sand.

Six figures could be seen seated around a roaring fire pit, one figure sitting slightly apart from the rest.

Zuko sat in the sand contemplating how he got here

The avatars group was a bunch of children, he decided (not that he was much better, but he didn’t believe that)

The group was listening with rapt attention as Katara gleefully recounted the time that Sokka has gotten two fishhooks stuck in his hand.

“He thought that it was a good idea to try, and get the first hook out by using another!”

Sokka groaned into his hands, the visible parts of his face bright red in the firelight.

“Why do you have to tell THAT one?” he sputtered “you could have told any other story!”

Katara just looked smug “well” she began “I guess I could tell them about the time you got stuck in the healers h-“ “NO” Sokka yelped “ahhh” he looked around for a distraction “Zuko!”

Zuko’s head shot up at his name. He had been staring into the fire, only half listening to the conversation going on around him (not that he could do anything other then half listening with one mangled ear)

Focusing on the blue clad boy sitting across from himself, Zuko has to withhold a groan.

“Zuko, how about you tell us a story?”

“I’d rather not” he deadpanned back  “I’m not the best at storytelling”

“Aw c’mon, you cant be that bad!” Sokka was staring at him with what could only be described as kicked puppy-kitten eyes. Zuko rolled his eyes even as the rest of the group began to encourage him.

“Yeah come on Zuko! I bet you tell great stories!” Aang chimed in.

Looking at their eager faces, Zuko couldn’t repress a sigh “I really don’t want to, I don’t even know any good stories”

“Aww cmon Sparky, live a little!” Toph exclaimed in her usual manner. Toph was always loud, but she was a good loud.

(Not like the sounds of his own screaming after a harsh punishment, or the footsteps that were always to loud to avoid fathers wrath)

“Hey how about you tell us about how you got your scar?” Katara asked tentatively.

Zuko sucked in a harsh breath. He knew that they were going to ask about that at some point, he was just hoping that it could have been later (much later).

Katara immediately backtracked at his sharp intake of air “you don’t have too” she adds hastily “we’re just curious, but you don’t have too!”

“Well I want to hear it”

“Toph!” Katara admonished.

“What! I didn’t even know he had a scar until after that stupid play!” Exclaimed the small earthbender.

“Nono it’s okay, I can tell a story” Zuko intervened before Toph, and Katara could get out of hand.

The fire flickered harshly, casting long dark shadows over his face. The others had turned their attention into him, waiting patiently for Zuko to continue. He took a deep breath, steeling himself, the fire breathed with him offering a crackling, and warm comfort. Drawing himself up, he began his story.

“Once there were two children, a brother, and a sister” the group in front of him were hanging into every word “the brother was born first, but he was born weak, and during the dead of winter. The boys father considered this a bad sign, for he did not want a weak son”

(“It should be put down, I will not have a weak heir!”)

“The boys father wanted to have him killed-“ Aang gasped, interrupting Zuko’s trail of words.

“Why would he kill a child?” He asked shakily.

“Because being born during winter was considered a bad sign to these people” Zuko answered “now let me finish” he huffed, burying his hands into his lap to hide their shaking.

“The boys mother was able to convince her husband not to kill the infant”

(“Ozai please, don’t kill my son, he will be strong, please” “very well, but if he disappoints it will be on your head”)

“A few years passed when another child was born, a girl this time. She was born with in the middle of a heated summer so their father was immensely pleased”

(“Azula was born lucky, you were lucky to be born”)

“Over the years their father showed a clear favor of his young daughter, and cast his older Son to the side” Zuko trailed off, taking in a shuddering breath, a heat slowly building behind his eyes. The children (oh Agni, they are just kids) listening with rapt attention, Sokka leaning against his girlfriend Suki, Toph sitting slightly raised on a bed of earth she had bent into a more comfortable seat, muted green eyes staring vacantly in his direction, Aang clearly trying, and failing to look like he wasn’t trying to sit close to Katara, and the waterbending masters focus solely on Zuko.

The sand was cold underneath him, soft, and malleable, but cold none the less.

“Because of this the son found solace in his mother”

Zuko’s chest hurt just thinking about her, her soft hands, the way she would smile oh so softly at him.

“The boys mother loved him, she would sometimes sit out by the courtyards pond, and show him how to feed the turtleducks that lived there”

The burning behind his eyes was getting harder to suppress. His voice was filled with melancholy as he spoke, thinking of softer times.

“Over the years the father became cruel to the son because he failed to meet his standards, the daughter followed in her fathers footsteps, burning with her hands, and tearing with her words”

Zuko couldn’t hold back the full body shudder that came over home in remembrance of Azula’s burning fists, and sly words aiming to hurt him as best they could.

He could see it in Katara’s eyes when she realized he wasn’t just talking about random people, but talking about himself, but he just kept talking, not sure if he could stop himself even if he tried. He had never discussed his childhood with anyone, not even his uncle, and it had been building up for years.

“When the boy was eleven-“ He choked, trying to even his breathing out “when he was eleven, and the girl was nine, the children’s uncle came home from war, He was the elder brother of the children’s father, and a respected general of an army” his voice was shaking slightly, and he could see the mounting comprehension in the eyes of the group. Taking a deep breath, he continued.

“The children’s father was jealous because he was the younger brother, so he was not in line to inherit anything from his father, who was the current leader of the nation. The older brother had just lost his only son to the war, so the younger brother used that as an excuse to try, and upserp the the elder brother. He went to his father and said “Father, you must know as I do, that my brother no longer has an heir, but I do, my children are alive””

Zuko brought his knees to his chest, hands still firmly in his lap, as if to protect himself from the memories recounting that day brought up.

“.... then what?” It was Aang who hesitantly asked.

“The current leader looked down upon his son, and asked him what it was he wanted. The son replied “you should revoke my brothers birthright, and make me heir to the throne, as I am but your loyal son”, the leader was enraged that his son would ask him to betray his firstborn. He demanded that because Un- his first born had to suffer the pain of losing a son, that so did his youngest son”

(“You will know the pain of losing your first born son”)

The group looked horrified at this information, and He couldn’t hold back a wet, raspy chuckle. His eyes had glazed over, too lost in the memories.

“What they didn’t know was that the younger sons daughter had hidden behind the curtains, and heard everything. That same night she went to her brothers room, and gleefully told him how father was going to kill him”

(“Zuzu guess what!, Fathers going to kill you!”)

“I- the boy, didn’t believe her because Azula- She always lies!”

(Azula always lies Azula always lies Azula always lies Azulaalwaysliesazulaalwaysliesazulaalwa-)

Tears were blurring his eye refusing to fall as he kept recounting “that same night, the boys mother came into his bedroom, and bid him goodbye. The next morning she was gone, his grandfather was dead, and his father had been crowned Fir- crowned the leader”

His mouth had begun spitting out sparks that would briefly light up his face before once again wreathing his face in shadows.

“With my-the boys mother gone, there was no one there to shield him from the horrors inflicted on him by his father and sister”

The fire flared violently as if preparing for an attack. Tears had finally made their appearance, drops is salty water slowly trailing a path down his face. He made no move to wipe them up (Acknowledging it makes it real). He could see the sad, and horror stricken faces of his friends (are they actually your friends though?) reflecting in the firelight. Aang’s, and Katara’s eyes glassy with withheld tears, their skin paled to almost match the Firenation skin tones. The same could be said for Sokka, Suki, and Toph.

Zuko could feel his tears dripping from his right eye (his left hadn’t shed tears since the Agni Kai) down his face, to trail off his chin, and down the pale Columns of his throat.

(“Crying is for the weak Prince Zuko”)

“Two years la-later when I was-when the the boy was thi-thirteen, there was an important w-war meeting being held” Zuko was stuttering threw his words at this point, tears coming down faster, and a choked sob fighting its way up his throat.

His hands made their way up from his lap, to tangle firmly into his hair, tugging painfully. Zuko let out a pained hiss threw clenched teeth. The group looked concerned, Katara barely holding herself back from stoping his hands.

“I begged m-my Uncle to all-allow me to attend because I thought it would be useful because I would o-one day at-take the throne”

Toph moved over towards him, and buried herself into his side, grabbing onto his forearm to offer some sort of comfort. Her muted eyes could hold no emotions, but her face held a mixture of curiosity, anger, and sorrow all mixed together in a heap.

Looking back towards his lap, hands still fruitlessly tugging at his hair, Zuko tried to take a deep breath to steady himself, but it came out a shuddering gasp.

“Uncle t-told me that I could en-enter as long as I-I kept silent, but during the meeting, o-one of the generals preposed sending out a group of new recruits as ba-bait, HE WANTED TO USE THEM AS FUCKING BAIT!”

The fire roared in time with his yell, he jumped up, dislodging Toph in the process. The group flinched back at his sudden outburst, but Zuko was to distraught to notice.

“And I-I just-I just couldn’t l-let that happen! So I said so, a-and father d-didn’t like that! so I-I was challenged to an Agni kai” 

“What’s an Agni kai?” Sokka asked tentatively.

“An A-Agni kai is a firebending dual held to settle disputes of h-honor, it ends when one par-participant is either b-burned or dead” Zuko explained, settling back down to where he had been sitting before.

“That’s horrible! Why would they do that?”

“be-because their bad, o-okay they are bad” a new wave of tears made their way down Zuko’s face, sobs now freely breaking out,choking their way up his throat.

“When it w-was time for the Agni kai, I-it wasn’t the old general sta-standing across from me, it was Fath-The Firelord” gasps rang out across the sand “I couldn’t I-I just couldn’t fight my f-f-father, so I-I got down on my knees and begged, it w-was shameful, and cowardly to d-do so but he was my father, he was supposed to take carE of me! Why didn’t he take care of me?”

Zuko buried his face in his knees after he said that, tears soaking into the fabric of his pants. His chest was heaving with the force of his sobs.

He felt a pair of arms encircle his shoulders, flinching at the contact.

“a-as i was o-on the floor begging, i was begging!, Fath-Ozai walked towards m-me, a-and I thought-I thought he w-was going to f-forgive me!”

(“Please father, I am your loyal son!” “Stand and fight Prince Zuko”)

Zuko’s hands came down from his hair to clench desperately into the fabric of whoever was holding him’s shirt, grasping desperately at the cloth, as if it would disappear if he let go.

Zuko let out a keening wail, choking, and shaking. A hand was rubbing soft circles on his back, trying to soothe him.

“a-and then” he choked out “and then he burned me” (“you will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher”) “he put h-his hand to my face, and burned me!”

The arms around him tightened imperceptibly, and the hand on his back stuttered in its movements. Zuko wailed again. It was a heart wrenching sound filled with sadness, anger, and hurt, spirit deep pain that had been left to grow, and fester, and Rot over the years.

Someone was talking in soft tones next to his ear (the right one, not the left one, because the left didn’t work anymore). He could not make out what the words that were being spoken were, but they were soft, and soothing. He leaned into the hold of whoever was holding him, trying, and failing to stifle his sobs.

“H-he said-h-he said I could come h-home if I found Aang, I-if I found the A-avatar, but it w-wasn’t home, ho-home is supposed to b-be safe” he cried harder a that, his voice raspy, because the royal palace had never been safe, never been home, not even when his mother was still there. The lingering threat of Father, and Azula saw to that.

Another body pressed itself next to him, leaning up against him. Zuko caught a glimpse of orange in his peripheral vision. Sobbing harder at the thought of Aang Because he had hunted them, and they still let him stay around.

“Hey buddy, your okay, it’s okay, he’s not here, their not here, your safe” Sokka’s voice washed over him, and he realized that it had been Sokka that was holding him. Zuko pushed his face into Sokka’s shoulder harder, trying to hide away from sight. He gripped even tighter, making sure Sokka couldn’t leave him.

After a while his Sobbing eased, and leaked into exhaustion. Going limp in Sokka’s arms, Zuko closed his eyes, inhaling the scent of sea, and steel.

The last thing he heard before Succumbing to his exhaustion was someone’s voice softly speaking “don’t worry sparky, we won’t let them hurt you, just let them try it” it was said with such conviction that despite himself, he believed it.

When the group finally saw their resident firebenders breathing even out in Sokka’s arms, they sighed.

“Holy crap...”

“Language Toph, but yes, holy crap” Katara sighed, rubbing her eyes to rid them of the tears that had collected there.

“Twinkle toes, when you fight Bitch-lord Ozai, I want dibs on breaking his bones, there’s always a chance I’ll invent bone bending” Toph said completely serious, ignoring Katara’s call of “language”.

“...Okay” Aang answered, slightly intimidated by the girl. He also wiped the tears out of his eyes “he’s ours now, they aren’t allowed to have him back” he said, deciding for them all. Not that they had any protests. Sokka was petting Zuko’s hair why’ll he slept, his face contorted even in sleep.

“I’ll stab them, I swear I’ll do it” Sokka declared “the messed with the wrong people” his eyes were burning with a simmering anger.

“And I’ll let you” the monk said, still leaning into Zuko “he’s ours now”