Chapter Text
It feels like it has been hours since the bush man has started running. I would estimate that its been about 2 hours and 34 minutes. I only open my eyes when I hear screaming. Red is gagged and tied to a chair, his wild eyes stare at me and he screams louder. I think he wants me to get up and untie him. I try to get up but my arms and legs are tied with super scratchy rope. Bush man went through all the trouble of kidnapping us, and he couldnt even get us more comfortable rope.
I try to inch ofrward like a little slug but everytime I scoot the rope chaffs my skin. I stop where Im at because I'd rather be tied up and on the verge of dying than be mildly uncomfortable because of rope burns. I stay in place and look around, it looks like were in a cave or something. I dont see an entrance or exit so we must be really hidden, that means we wont be able to call anyone for help.
My throat starts swelling up and I can feel the pool of water slowly start rising in my eyes. I really do not want to cry right now. I hear more muffled screaming behind me so I turn around, and wince as the rope chafes me. There, tied to a chair, is pregnant Andrew gagged and crying. Right next to him is an entire shrine dedicated to Red. There's pictures of Red doing chores, grocery shopping, washing his car in a bikini. There’s hearts drawn onto all the pictures with Red in them, and the faces of anyone else are scratched off so its a faceless body. There's a mountain of limited edition M&M candles lit that is making the cave(?) smell like overly-sweet artificial sugar and burnt wax. And on the floor, mounted on a box, is my missing mango juul pod.
I let out the most bloodcurtling scream, my throat is on fire and I see Andrew wince by my anger. I slug my way to the juul pod. This anger towards whoever stole my mango juul pod makes me feel like ive been shot up with adrenaline. I basically become the hulk and I rip the rope entrapping me. I am still screaming when I seize my pod, and I am still screaming when I rip apart the Red shrine. I can feel Andrew and Red staring at me as I shatter the stupid candles on the floor and rip apart the pictures on the wall.
Andrew and Red start yelling to get my attention, I know they want me to untie them but they aren't my priority at this moment. I need to find whoever did this to us. I am going to fucking destroy bush man.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Someone yells from behind me. I grab a candle and throw it at the voice's direction at the same time that I turn around. It's Robert Pattinson wearing a bush. He’s the bushman That motherfucker. I stop screaming and watch as the candle softly bounces off the bush and shatters on the floor.
“YOU,” I point my finger at him and stomp over so I can grab a handful of leaves on his bush and tear them off. “YOU TOOK MY FUCKING JUUL POD.” Robert's face goes from angry to confused.
“It’s not yours, it's Red. I saw him use it.” There's no way he could have, I had it on me at all times.
“Whered you find it?” I asked, taking a step towards him.
“On the floor outside his house,” he says, taking a step back. I scream and hrutle towards him swinging my arms like windmills. I hit him in the head over and over with my fists and he tries to block his face with his arms. I just keep hitting Robest and yelling. Im so angry I could kill him. I wind my arm back and punch him, he stumbles backa nd hits his head on the wall and slumps to the floor.
Im panting and I stare at Robert, taking in my first kill for all that it is. That was kinda dope. I get why people are professional hitmen or assassins now. But now I guess I have to untie Red cause I live with him and I forgot my keys at home. And then i might as well untie Andrew because he’s pregnant and I dont want any bad karma coming my way.
I walk to Red and he’s crying, tears are streaming down his chocolate face. I sigh and begin to untie the rope that is holding Red hostage. I’m struggling really hard, this know is really tight. Was Robert a fucking boy scout or something? I break one of my fingernails trying to dig the knot apart and blood drips from my finger. I suck on my finger and I feel a punch land on my face, knocking me to the ground.
I try and sit up but I feel really dizzy so I just lay on the floor. Robert looms over me. I’m praying he doesnt try to teabag me. I let out a soft cry and roll onto my stomach. I try to get up but Robert kicks me again.
“Red is mine,” he kicks me in teh ribs, “do you understand me?”
I dont reply.
Another kick, “I SAID, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?”
I nod my head up and down because I cant seem to form any words. This seems to please him. I really should have just left on my own while I had the chance. I really dont need Red, especially now that I know he is a murderer. I’m surprised he hasn’t tried to physically hurt me. He used to be everything to me, but now I am slightly terrified of him. I never know what he’s going to do. And it’s all my fault, I just had to open that door. All those years ago when we were dating, I tried to surprise him and opened the door just to find him and the yellow m&m making out. I left town the next day because I couldn’t handle the truth of what he’d done. Me knowing the truth of the relationship him and yellow had also put his career at risk. So I know he killed the yellow m&m, but why. Did yellow m&m threaten to go public? Is this why he killed yellow m&m and not me even though I know his secret?
But now, Robert Pattinson is going to kill me because I tried to free Red. I can see it in the bloodthirsty glimpse in his eye. This is it for me. I drag my hand up to my ribs, a feeble attempt to protect the remaining unbroken ribs I have from shattering. “Why?” I mutter.
“What?” Robert stops kicking me and, surprisingly, tries to listen to what I have to say.
“Why him? Why do you care so much?”
“Because he broke my heart and I havent been able to let him go.” I simply nod because I understand.
“You have to let him go, he doesn’t care about anyone but himself and youre wasting your life obsessing over him. I understand, but you have to let him go.”
“What if I cant let him go, you think its that easy to forget everything we had together? All the good times and secretly shared kisses?” He’s yelling now, hands gribbing his own hair in distress.
“Kill the memories pretend they never happened, don’t give him the satisfaction of being hung up on him.”
He looks down at me quietly, and whispers, “What if I just kill him?” I nod because I know this is the only way. Red has done enough damage.
“Can I have my mango pod first?” He walks over and tosses it in my direction and leaves to god knows where. I crawl over to the pod and put it in my pocket.
I look up and Andrew is sound asleep, I dont want to wake him up but I know his swollen hands must be sore. I go to his chair to untie the rope but his hands arent even tied. He’/s holding it back himself. Of course he would pretend to be tied to the chair so he would feel included.
Robert returns with a pot of boiling milk, Red starts thrashing his seat and looks at me with desperate eyes. Robert is about to dump the milk on Red, but I need to know something. “Red, look at me.” He stares harder at me. “Did you kill Yellow M&M?” He shakes his head to say no. “Then what’s that?” I point to the wall of photos that Robert has. On the very top of the collection of photos is a picture of Red murdering Yellow by stabbing him in the chest. Red thrashes in his seat but Robert is pouring the milk. Red starts melting and it smells like hot chocolate. My stomach is rumbling cause it smells so poignant and sweet.
By the end, Red is just a puddle of hot chocolate on the floor. It was surprisingly easy to get rid of him, it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I stare at his puddle and smile. Robert squats next to me and hands me a swirly straw. I giggle with new found excitement and we both begin to drink the giant puddle of hot chocolate on the floor like the homies we are.