Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Shiro was the captain of the Atlus and new admiral of the Galaxy Garrison while Keith was both the Leader of the Blade of Marmora and the head of Voltron. Both proud and capable Alphas with intergalactic praise and reverance. They were also the loving doting mate of Lance Serrano, the retired pilot of the red lion.

At first, their relationship was flourishing. Everyone had witnessed the trio’s exuberant PDA. Any time someone saw Shiro with a bouquet of flowers, they immediately knew he was headed towards Lance. Any time Keith had a box of candy or a stuffed animal with a blue bow on it, everyone knew he was looking for Lance. Lance felt loved and spoiled by the two big strong Alphas.

But that was painfully short lived. Due to Lance’s previous injuries during his time with Voltron, particularly his back injury in the explosion early on, he ultimately retired from his duties to Voltron and focused on working at the Garrison as a firearms instructor. And because he was on the ground more than he was in the air with his mates, it left little time together.

His Alphas were often in space providing aid years after the intergalactic war which made both parties miss one another terribly. And the times the Alphas came home from a mission, Lance was the first person they would run to. Shiro and Keith would make a B-line to Lance right after decontaminating to make up for lost time. Lance was happy just knowing his mates were safe and sound and purring against his ears, a sound that meant they were happy and content. But a year and a half later, things began to change for the worse.

It began with a mission both Shiro and Keith were a part of. Rather than the expected kiss and “I love you”, Keith and Shiro smiled and left without a single touch or goodbye. When Lance would call them just to hear their voices, but the call was rejected. Lance simply chaulked it up to catching them at a bad time. Every time Lance tried again, regardless of the time, it was the same outcome. And when the alphas returned home, Lance would run up to them and tell them how much he missed his mates, only to be pushed aside and being told that they were “too tired”. Lance tried not to let it get to him because he knew how exhausting, both physically and mentally, space missions were. Keyword: try.

That was just the beginning. Their weekly movie nights were no more, his mates pushed him away when he tried to cuddle, Lance hadnt heard either alphas tell him that they loved him even though Lance said it constantly like a prayer. One time Lance saw Keith talking to a Blade and wanted to surprise him with a hug but he was quickly pushed away with a bitter “I’m busy, Lance”. That was months ago but it still stung. Another time he simply wanted to hold Shiro’s left hand but Shiro pulled away as if he was disgusted by his mate’s touch. That just added to the sting.

Lance continued to try his best for his mates, the loves of his life, but it felt like they didn’t want to reciprocate. It was always “Lance, I’m busy”, “Lance I don’t have time right now”, “Lance, can this wait?”, “Lance, this is too important”.

Not to mention any and all intimacy in the bedroom was now reserved to only Keith and Shiro. No matter how many times Lance tried to use lingerie, toys, and even photos and videos, he was told what he was doing was "inappropriate".

Nearly everyone at the Garrison saw how Shiro and Keith were treating the omega while they stood together side by side, still as strong as ever. You know its bad when Commander Iverson tries to comfort you.

Commander Iverson, Commander Holt, Rizavi, Kinkade, Hunk, Pidge, even his own sister Veronica asked if he was okay. Lance just plastered on a smile and waved it off.

“Yeah, I just caught them at a rough time. Things are still going great!” Lance beamed happily and rambled on about the things he’s done with his mates and the things he learned they liked. Except he was just recalling the things that happened in the past.

Lance retired to the house (he couldn't call it his home)and began to cook dinner. Maybe if Lance made his loves a meal, they'd acknowledge him again. He looked around their home and saw more and more evidence that he no longer belonged here. More and more pictures of Keith and Shiro together rather than the three of them. Souvenirs and knick knacks from their missions mostly and a small framed photo of them as Paladins, way before their relationship, gathered dust in the corner of the mantle. By the time Lance was done cooking, it was obvious he had made too much again, even for his hungry alphas. The fridge and freezer was stocked with leftovers because Lance wanted to make sure there was something to eat for his hard working mates. But often times it was left untouched; freezer burnt and tossed in the trash. His gut twisted when he saw fast food wrappers in the trash. Lance couldn’t help but scoff, his mates preferred greasy fast food rather than a home cooked meal made with love.

Their bedroom was no longer Keith, Shiro, and Lance’s bedroom. It was simply Keith and Shiro’s bedroom. Lance had often overheard Keith complain that Lance’s scent was too strong and it made him annoyed and irritated. It made Lance even more self conscious when Shiro agreed albeit in a more gentler way. Then Shiro complained how how Lance was too warm and he was tired of waking up sweaty and sticky. Since then Lance began to use a scent blocker and gradually moved into the guest room. Neither mentioned the sudden change of sleeping arrangements or even asked why. Lance spent the next chilly morning crying on the couch when he saw his mates sleeping so peacefully as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

And then there was Lance’s heats. Shiro and Keith used to be more than willing to help Lance with his heat. But now it was reluctance and complaints. Keith complained that the smell was too distracting and Shiro softly encouraged Lance to take care of it himself for a while because he was "busy with work". Lance did just that and was left unsatisfied and unloved.

Then, they just stopped talking to him. They only talked to him when they had to at work. It was agonizing not hearing a reply after you tell the loves of your life "I love you", but instead they say it to each other with such warmth and adoration. They were in their own little world and Lance was excluded from it.

They didn’t fight or argue, but Keith did often yell at Lance while Shiro reprimanded him. Although their scathing words hurt him, Lance didn't mind. At least their attention was on him for a little bit.

The pattern continued until Lance nearly lost his mind and spilled it all to Hunk and Pidge. Lance screamed and sobbed, begging anyone who listened what he did to upset his mates so much to the point of neglect. It was such a heart breaking sight to behold, seeing Lance sob uncontrollably in Hunk's arms as he and Pidge did their best to comfort the grieving Omega. Both of them suggested leaving them all together if they didnt want to hear him out. And yet, Lance clung on desperately to that miniscule sliver of hope that told him Shiro and Keith really were busy and stressed and that they still very much loved Lance. Even if Lance was rejected from his mate’s ruts, even if he slept in a cold lonely bed, even if his heart was tearing itself apart watching his alphas embrace and kiss, Lance clung onto that hope and dreamt of the day his mates would hold him in their arms and whisper how much they loved him.

Even as he waited weeks for that moment, it still didn't come. Now Lance sat alone in the living room, deep in his painful intrusive thoughts, when there was a knock on the door. Lance went to see who it was and his eyes lit up.

“Allura! Lotor!” Lance cried out happily seeing his old friends again.

“Hello, Lance! How are you?” Allura smiled happily and embraced her former Paladin.

“I’m good. Lotor! It’s good to see you too! You still better be treating Allura well!” Lance joked as he too hugged the new King of Neo Altea.

“Of course I am. A queen must be treated like a queen. Though, she is more goddess than queen in my eyes.” Lotor smiled and lovingly kissed Allura’s hand. They didn’t see it, but Lance looked with envy and longing.

With his cheerful mask plastered back on, Lance led the royal couple to the living room to catch up. It was really nice seeing Allura again. Although their romance was short lived, they still remained good friends and he even forgave Lotor after proving time and time again he loved her. They reminisced about their Voltron days while catching up on the latest news and gossip. Time flew by in the blink of an eye when Allura held Lance’s cold hand.

“Actually Lance, the reason we came to visit is because well,” Allura’s tone was worrying.

“We heard from Hunk and Pidge.” Lotor picked up on his wife’s hesitation.

“What? What are you talking about?” Lance cocked his head to the side.

“We heard about Keith and Shiro. And what they’ve been doing to you.” Lance suddenly grew anxious.

“W-what? Are they saying my mates are hurting me or something? That’s silly! Shiro and Keith have never laid a hand on me, we haven’t even fought or argued!” Lance laughed it off.

“Lance.” Allura’s voice stopped Lance’s rambling, “At first, I didn’t believe it when Hunk said you look like you haven't slept in ages and that you’ve been losing weight. He even said you didn’t smell like yourself. Pidge seemed so angry when Shiro and Keith were brought up in our last conversation.”

“We say this as your friends but you reek of stress and anxiety. You look like you’re going to pass out any moment now. And…your bonding marks are fading.” Lotor pointed out.

“W-what?” Lance touched his scent glands and leapt from the couch to the closest mirror that hung on the wall. The last shred of hope frayed into nothing. Lotor was right. Both Shiro’s bite mark and Keith’s bite marks had significantly faded away and her glands were swelling like they first had when he was unmated. At any rate, there would be no mark at all.

This only ever happens so rarely. Alpha mates regularly bite their mate's scent glands to establish their relationship status to themselves and to others. Bond marks only fade away when an Alpha no longer loves, cares, or want their bonded mate. Typically alphas leave their mate untouched for long periods of time until the marks fade away completely and go search for a new mate.

And Lance was one of those rare cases, abandoned and neglected as he stared at the faint mark. Allura and Lotor rushed to Lance’s side when he collapsed on the hardwood floor, retching and sobbing uncontrollably. He wailed and screamed in heartbroken agony. Even though Allura and Lotor’s kind did not have the same secondary dynamics as humans did, they learned early on how beautiful and cruel those dynamics can be. It pained them both to see their dear friend fall apart. That hope he clung so desperately on to was nothing but false hope. A false hope Lance conjured in his heart and mind. It was too unbearable for his heart to take.

Allura brought the hysteric omega in her arms and held him close to her chest as she fought back her own tears. Lance was the kind of sensitive soul who loved with everything he had. Never once did he half-ass their own past relationship and obviously he never half-assed his relationship with Shiro and Keith. Allura could only sit there and cradle her dearest friend as he wailed and grieved for the love he wasted.

It took some time for Lance to finally calm down and when he did, Allura gave him an all too tempting offer.

“Lance, Lotor and I would like to invite you on an expedition we are leading.” Allura announced

“A-an expedition?” Lance repeated.

“Yes, to Oriande. Lotor and I are hoping to learn more of Altean alchemy and further expand our knowledge of it. We are gathering scholars and adventurers of our kingdom to join us in the excursion and we would like you to join us.” Allura explained.

“But I’m neither an adventurer or a scholar.” Lance argued.

“But you are our friend.” Lotor pointed out, “A friend who could use some time for himself.”

“Would…would that really be okay with you guys?” Lance hesitantly asked.

“We wouldn't be telling you if we didn’t want you to come along.” Allura smiled comfortingly.

Want. Lance was…wanted. When was the last time he felt like that?

“W-when are you guys leaving…for the expedition?” Lance asked.

“We’ll be leaving as soon as we finish our visit here. We plan on leaving for Neo-Altea tomorrow morning.” Allura informed.

“Can…Can I give you my answer tomorrow morning?” Lance asked cautiously.

“Of course. Would you like us to stay with you a little longer? Pidge and Hunk invited us over for dinner with Pidge’s family.” Allura asked.

“Y-yeah. Um…lemme get cleaned up real quick.” Lance stood on shaking legs towards the guest---his bedroom. When Lance was out of sight, Allura and Lotor's gentle smiles fell into scowls.

“I’m going to punch them both in the jaw.” Lotor growled.

“My dear, please don’t.” Allura pleaded her husband.

“They hurt him. I may not be close to the paladins or even close to Lance, but he is important to you which makes him important to me.” Lotor continued to growl.

“I understand that, but it’s not our place to harm them. Even if they do deserve it and even if I want to rip them apart myself.” Allura glowered.

“Fine But if Lance tells me to punch them, I’m breaking their jaws off.” Lotor huffed.

“Not until after I’m done with them.” Allura reminded her husband.

Their scowls were quickly erased when Lance came back, fresh and free of vomit and tears. The three of them exited the cold unwelcoming house and it felt like Lance could breathe again. The walk to the Holt house was short. Hunk answered the door and was immediately crushing the three of them in his world famous bear hugs and led into the Holt family home.

“Guys! Look who’s here!” the beta called out. Everyone greeted Allura and Lotor warmly and then their eyes were on Lance. Suddenly the household grew louder and warmth surrounded the Cuban man as if he was being welcomed home.

Dinner was delicious and for the first time in a long time, Lance was genuinely happy. Lance was seated between Pidge and Hunk while Bae Bae rested his head on Lance’s lap knowing all too well he would get nibbles of food from the man. Matt and Pidge were arguing about the robotics work surround their new robot Chip while their parents were talking about the exchange in technological advances with the Altean royal couple.

“Hey,” Hunk nudged Lance, “Are you okay?”

“I’m a little better yeah.” Lance smiled tiredly. But Hunk saw the redness in his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I…I didn’t know what else to do other than tell Allura and Lotor.” Hunk apologized.

“Its…its okay. I'm glad you did. I was living through rose colored glasses for too long. Allura and Lotor helped me realize that.” Lance smiled sadly.

“I’m so sorry, Lance.” Hunk placed a comforting hand on his best friend’s shoulder.

“Nah, it’ll be okay. They invited me on an expedition to Oriande.” Lance smiled.

“Oriande? You mean the birthplace of Altean alchemy?” Sam chimed in.

“Yes, we would love to have Lance join us in the excursion.” Allura smiled brightly.

“Oh man! That’s amazing! Imagine the edible flora and fauna there! Or! Or the knowledge ancient Alteans had that was lost for so many centuries!” Hunk gushed.

“That is what we are hoping to find. Even if its a small scripture or a legend come truth, it will be monumental to find.” Allura enthused.

“Lance is also very intuitive and is very skilled in more than just firearms. He’s very quick to access any situation and his charm can easily dissolve any sort of opposing argument. He’s quite essential to our mission.” Lotor pointed out which made the man blush.

"That's right. Remember the argument between General Sorvenk and Merla? That argument alone would have ended in a bloody war had it not been for Lance diffusing the situation and suggesting a compromise!" Allura recalled proudly.

"Not to mention, General Sorvenk was so impressed, he offered himself as Lance's mate." Lotor chuckled at the memory.

Skilled. Intuitive. Essential. When was the last time someone praised him like this?

“And what about Shiro and Keith? What are their thoughts on this?” Sam asked. Lance flinched at the mention of his…”mates”. He didn’t blame Commander Holt, he likely didn’t know what was going on between the three of them.

“Uuhh…I..I didn’t tell them yet. I’m still unsure if I should go.” Lance smiled nervously.

“I see, I’m sure they’ll be thrilled that you have such an opportunity! I remember Shiro being selected for the Kerberos mission. You would have thought he won the moon he was so thrilled.” Sam innocently smiled. Dinner continued as normal, but Pidge and Hunk noticed the slightest hesitation in Lance after that.

Lotor and Allura walked Lance home and bid him a good night. When Lance walked through the front door, he noticed Keith and Shiro’s boots sitting in the shoe rack. The tension in his shoulders tightened as he walked through the living room and into the kitchen for a glass of water before bed. No doubt they were asleep together in their room and left Lance to be welcomed by cold rough sheets.

“Where the hell were you?” Lance flinched. Swiftly he turned to see both Shiro and Keith on the couch still in uniform.

“I…I was at Pidge and Matt’s house.” Lance answered anxiously.

“Why didn’t you tell us!? You realize how worried we were!? Shiro tried to call you after you didn’t respond to any of my texts!” Keith stood up and shouted.

“Keith, calm down. I’m sure Lance’s phone died. This isn't the first time it happened.” Shiro tried to quell his mate but ultimately made what felt like a scathing jab at his Omega mate.

“Or maybe he just ignored us.” Keith crossed his arms and scoffed.

“I…I didn’t ignore you. I never got any calls or texts.” Lance explained.

“Seriously? That's your excuse?! You're just gonna lie about this? I bet you deleted the messages and the call notifications.” Keith accused.

“Babe, stop.” Shiro warned.

“What? What did we do to make you treat us like this, Lance!?” Keith shouted in his terrified Omega’s face.

“I-I’m not lying! I swear!” Lance defended himself.

"Then give me your phone so I can see for myself!" Keith extended his hand. It scared Lance how little faith Keith had in him after all these years.

"Keith, stop. Even if Lance did give you his phone, I doubt the notifications would be there." Shiro stopped his alpha mate.

“You’re always trying to annoy us for no reason, Lance! You don't realize how hard we fucking work! We have enough stress as is! We shouldn’t have to deal with your childish bullshit, Lance! God, sometimes I wonder why we’re still mates with you!!” Keith shouted even louder.

“Keith! Don’t say that!” Shiro shouted. But the damage was done and Keith continued.

“Why!? You know its true! You said the same thing this morning!” Keith argued.

"Keith, I-I'm sorry. B-but I really am telling the truth. Please, Takashi you have to believe me. I would never do anything to upset you guys!" Lance pleaded to his lovers.

"Lance, just stop." Shiro ordered sternly, almost aggressively. "If you had just told us you were leaving rather than making us wait, this wouldn't have happened! We're exhausted, Lance. We worked significantly longer hours than you while you're out doing whatever you want like a selfish child! Just stop fucking around and give us a break for once!"

This morning? No, this wasn’t real was it? Lance’s throat constricted and his only reaction was to run upstairs and lock the door behind him. He didn’t care that Shiro called out to him or Keith huffing to let him hide “like a coward”. He slid against the door and sobbed painfully into his knees. He really wasnt lying. Lance's phone was fully charged by the time he went over to the Holts for dinner and he really never did get any text or call from his mates. but they didn't believe him at all. Instead they called names. They called him a coward, a liar, childish, annoying, a selfish child. Every word felt like a knife stabbing and twisting his heart.

They hated him. They didn’t love him anymore. They didn’t want him as their mate. That haunting reality was nestled in his head as he cried himself to sleep against the guest room door.

4:18am was when Lance woke up with dried tears and swollen eyes. He wished he was still sleeping. At least he could escape the harsh reality and continue dreaming of his mates loving him as much as he loved them.

But life was cruel and so were his mates.

He stood up and sent a text to Allura telling her that he would go on the expedition with her. Allura responded quickly with items he’ll need to bring along with him. Lance grabbed his suitcase and stuffed it haphazardly with the things he would need. He quietly exited the bedroom and passed his mates’ room. It sickened his stomach hearing them be so intimate while Lance was hurting. He made it to the bathroom and grabbed his toiletries and skincare products before tip toeing back to his lonely bedroom and tossing them into his suitcase. He threw in some other personal belongings when Allura informed him that they had to leave in less than an hour.

Lance texted Allura that he was already packed and all he needed was to drive to the base. Allura informed her that they’ll be at the house soon. And soon happened to be five minutes. Lance snuck out of the house like some escaping burglar and opened the door as quietly as he could. There in the driveway was Lotor and Allura in a Garrison cruiser. Lance rushed over to his friends and crawled into the back passenger seat.

“I’m glad you decided to join us, Lance. What changed yo- Oh...Oh Lance...” Allura’s comment was cut off when she saw the anxiety riddled look on Lance’s tear stained face.

“What did they do?” Lotor snarled.

“I…I don’t want to talk about it. Please.” Lance brushed away the question. Lotor and Allura let go of the question for now and drove to the Garrison where their ship was waiting.

It would take a few minutes before the ship was ready to take off. In the meantime, Lance called his family to let them know he’ll be on a “work related mission” for some time and won’t be able to communicate for a while. They wished him luck and to take care of himself before ending the call with lots of air kisses. At least this time his family knew he would be gone to space this time.

He sent one last text to Hunk and Pidge pleading them not to tell Shiro or Keith where he was headed. The last thing he wanted was them to find out. Pidge agreed while calling the two of them bastards and Hunk hesitantly agreed that Shiro and Keith were indeed the expletives Pidge called them and promised Lance that he won’t tell a single soul. The ship was all prepared and ready to go by the time Lance finished typing. He  was about to board the ship when someone flicked his ear from behind.

“What? No goodbye?” Lance turned to see his older sister frowning with her arms crossed.

“You work directly with Taka--Shiro. You’d tattle if he ordered you to.” Lance sighed tiredly.

“Not if he’s hurting my baby brother.” Veronica’s frown eased as she embraced her youngest brother. “I don’t know what’s going on between you three but I’m always here for you.”

“Thanks, Roni. I…I better get going. I don’t know when I’ll be back, but…”

“But come home safe and sound. That’s all I’m asking of you. And don’t worry, I won’t tell them you’re on some ‘work related mission’ either. And if they ask, I’ll tell them I don’t know. Take care of yourself, baby bro.” Veronica interrupted.

“Yeah, I promise. Thank you, Veronica” Lance hugged his older sister for the last time before boarding the ship to leave for New Altea.

Chapter Text

It’s been a while since Lance was in Neo-Altea and it was still as beautiful as the stories Coran used to tell. It was so similar to Earth and yet even more beautiful. Bright blue skies just like on Earth and fields as far as the eye could see glittering with juniberry flowers bathed in dew. Alteans of all kind waved to the Queen and King in their craft and rushed to the landing dock. Once landed, Queen Allura and King Lotor were welcomed with pomp and ceremony as their ship was docking.

Naturally, Coran was there to greet the royal couple first and foremost. But when he caught the sight of Lance, his glorious moustache bristled with excitement and happiness.

“Lance, my boy! Look at you! What a sight for sore noses, as you humans would say!” Coran greeted his favorite paladin exuberantly.

“It’s ‘sight for sore eyes’, Coran. And yeah, it’s great to see you again! I missed you!” Lance quickly ran and hugged the royal advisor. He truly did miss Coran. He was like a second father to the former red paladin.

“Oh you humans and you’re silly colloquialisms! The things you say are as silly as a yalmor drunk on fizluxial fruits!” Coran joyously laughed. “Are the others with you? As I was made aware, you are mated with Shiro and Keith! It’s amazing how they aren’t here with you! You know they’ve been quite infatuated with you since our Voltron days!”

“Ah, n-no. Keith and Shiro are…aren’t here. I was the only one selected. Plus they’re always too busy with Garrison and Marmora stuff!” Lance plastered his best smile.

“Well not to worry! We have the best of the best with us now! Come! Let’s get your luggage and get you briefed for the journey!” Coran didn’t pick up on Lance’s hesitation. Either that or he didn’t point it out.

The Castle of Lions was just as he remembered, albeit the extra purple banners symbolizing their reignited peace with Galra. Allura and Lotor had Lance stay in an extravagant suite during his stay in Neo-Altea. It was definitely a room fit for honored guests.

Lance set his suitcase on the floor and flopped backwards on the heavenly plush bed and curled up on his side. Did Shiro and Keith notice yet? That he was gone and won’t be back for God knows how long? Would they even miss him? Or would they be relieved Lance had taken himself out of their equation? The thought of them being happy he was gone twisted his gut and gnawed at his heart. He loved them so much but it was all too clear they didn’t love him back.

Tears welled in his eyes which Lance quickly wiped away. He had to be presentable for the meeting and the last thing he wanted was to worry his friends and other members of the exploration with his tears. Luckily the room had an ensuite bathroom and Lance took a moment to cool his face with water before beginning to unpack his belongings when someone knocked on the door.

“Hello, my boy. All settled in?” Coran greeted politely.

“Hey, Coran. Um…Almost. Um, is the meeting starting right now?” Lance asked.

“No, but it’ll start quite soon. I figure you’d like to get yourself acquainted with everyone before it officially begins.” Coran smiled cheerfully.

“Yeah, sounds good. Lead the way, oh great Royal Advisor.” Lance playfully bowed.

Lance followed Coran to the all too familiar holodeck he and the other paladins used to convene at. There, several Alteans, Galra, and hybrids stood around the queen.

“Lance! Thank you for joining us. Please, allow me to introduce you to our fellow explorers for the journey.” Allura personally led Lance to each and every explorer and scientist.

“This is Bhezerax, he is our lead engineer. Bhezerax is a former Blade and has been working along side with us since Lotor and My ascension to the Altean throne.” Judging from his purple skin tone, tall height, and no Altean markings under his eyes, He was taller and bigger built with a solid gut and a head that reminded Lance of a komodo dragon but with more teeth and no forked tongue.

“Greetings, Paladin Lance. I look forward to working alongside you.” Bhezerax greeted formally.

“Hi, and please you can just call me Lance.” Lance shook the Galtean’s three clawed hand.

“This is Skarinil, She is our findings manager. She is half Pleworili, a race known for their keen sense of smell and sight as well as their vast knowledge of myths.” Skarinil was short and lanky with deep blue skin and pink green mixed eyes. She reminded Lance of a fairy from the looks of her long dragonfly like wings.

“Hello, Lance. This Voxzi is pleased to meet you.” The Voxzi curtseyed.

“This is Pseldal, he is our Site Administrator. He has been one of Lotor’s most trusted allies and is a descendant of the Archivist.” Pseldal was a head taller than Lance but he was wider built. From his light purple skin tone, cyan blue pupils surrounded by the trademark golden sclera and the long Altean markings that matched the color of his eyes, Pseldal had both Altean and Galra blood just like Lotor. Unlike Bherax who looked Reptilian in nature, Pseldal looked more mammalian with tufts of fur on his cheeks and down his head similar to a mohawk and his long hair tied in a long low braid with glass beads and what looked to be feathers. Unfortunately, his sharp facial features reminded Lance of Shiro.

“It is a great honor to meet a Paladin of Voltron face to face! I will do my utmost best to my abilities along side you.” Psaldel vigorously shook Lance’s hand.

“Last but not least is J’dalah, Neo-Altea’s leading historian.” Jdalah was an Altean around Lance’s height. Their grey tipped blue hair was long and braided liek Psaldel’s but his braid was significantly shorter and they had bright green Altean marks underneath their deep purple eyes.

“This truly is an experience once in a life time! To be invited to Oriande by our great and benevolent goddess queen and to stand beside a great hero like yourself, Paladin Lance! This is truly a once in a life time experience!” J’dalal got a little too close for Lance’s liking but the former paladin took no offense. J’dalal kind of reminded Lance of his cousins and nephew: excitable over everything new and foreign.

“So is this everyone? Seems pretty small for what lies ahead, don’t you think?” Lance asked curiously to his friend.

“These are the lead managers and administrators for the journey ahead. Many of our excavation team will meet us along with Lotor later this evening once the very last of the preparations are complete.” Allura explained, “Now then. We are all acquainted and accounted for. Shall we begin the meeting?”

The meeting was longer than planned due to the administrators questions and concerns. But the jist of the excavation excursion was to bring back what the war made them forget. Centuries of Altean history was lost when Zarkon destroyed their home planet. When Lance asked why they were going to Oriande and not old Daibazaal, Allura sadly informed him that Daibazaal is still too unstable to safely explore.

“Well, Altea’s history wouldn’t have been lost  if it weren’t for the Galra scum like those at this table.” Skarinil haughtily commented while sneering at Psaldel and Bherezax.

“While I agree that my ancestors have done a terrible thing like destroy your planet and followed a tyrannical ruler, it is unfair that you throw such remarks at those who did not choose to wage war.” Psaldel snarled and slammed his fist on the table.

“That is right! I spent most of my days as a rebel with the Blade of Marmora! I risked my life to infiltrate and sabotage the empire!” Bherezax snarled.

“By the ancient ones!! You dare bear your teeth at me!?” Skarinil shrieked.

“It appears you are as brainless as you are arrogant as you were the one to insult us to begin with!” Psaldel shouted.

“I was stating the truth! Not my fault your kind are nothing but parasitic savages!” Skarinil hissed, her wings fluttering from the provocation. Before Allura could speak up, Lance stood up and spoke proudly.

“Okay, that’s enough! Both of you!” Lance’s voice boomed and stopped the feuding administrators in their tracks. “Skarinil, please apologize to Psaldel and Bherezax.”

“Me!? For what!?” Skarinil asked petulantly.

“Comparing Psaldel and Bherezax to those who actively supported the war is completely uncalled for.” Lance explained.

“But that brute bared his teeth at me!” Skarinil pointed a finger, her wings buzzing in frustration.

“Look at him!” Lance pointed out. “Every time he opens his mouth, its all teeth! No offense, of course Bherezax.”

“I take no offense to your words, Pala---Lance.” Bherezax corrected himself.

“Plus, these two wouldn’t have been so defensive if you hadn’t insulted them!” Lance continued on.

“Sir Lance, I did no such thing.” Skarinil huffed.

“Skarinil, you are scum.” Lance clicked his tongue.

“SIR LANCE! HOW COULD YOU--” Skarinil gasped

“Did you take that as an insult?” Lance quirked an eyebrow.

“Of course I do!” Skarinil huffed again.

“So why is it insulting when someone calls you scum, but when you call someone else scum, it’s not an insult?” Skarinil was speechless.

“I get it, All sides suffered from the war. Every single one of us were affected. But blaming each other and calling each other names is taking all the steps we took forward towards peace backwards.” Lance tried to placate the parties in question.

Skarinil looked ashamed for a moment before Lance turned his attention to Psaldel.

“Psaldel, you need to apologize to Skarinil as well.”

“After she insulted me!?” Psaldel scoffed.

“You insulted her back. You called her brainless and arrogant. How is that not an insult?” Lance gestured to Skarinil who was smugly waiting for her apology.

Neither parties apologized and instead favored their pride above resolution. That’s when Lance crossed his arms and pulled out his secret weapon.

“Both of you said it was a great honor to be invited for the journey, and yet here you both are arguing and insulting each other before the trip started!? Like holy crow, get it together! Imagine the shame both of you will endure when Queen Allura removes you from the excursion.” Lance sighed with exaggeration.

The mention of shame startled both Skirinil and Psaldel and they promptly apologized to each other before as well as Skarinil curtly apologizing to Bherezax  and taking their seats once again. This time silently.

“Spoken like a true paladin.” Allura offered her fist, a gesture Lance had taught her in their dating days.

“You said it yourself: Once a paladin, always a paladin” Lance fist bumped his ex-girlfriend.

The meeting ended peacefully (finally) and Lance returned to his quarters, ready for a long deserved nap, when there was another knock on the door. Lance groaned and opened it to see a rather eager J’dalal standing in front of him.

“Uh, hi?? Can I help you?” Lance quizzically asked.

“I just wanted to tell you that the way you handled Psaldel and Skarinil was amazing! Especially Snarinil! Oh that one has always been so judgemental to anyone of Galra blood! Those two particularly have been at each other throats since they were invited to participate! How did you do that?” J’dalel enthused.

“O-oh, well I guess its cuz I watched my mom do the same when my siblings and I were younger.” Lance bashfully scratched his cheek. “She knew using something we feared as a punishment made us stop dead in our tracks”

“How fascinating. Tell me, how many siblings do you have? Are they all from the same mother and father?” J’dalal inquired.

“I have four siblings, and yeah we all share the same parents.” Lance answered.

“Five children from one couple. How intriguing. Alteans typically can’t handle the birthing process more than twice in their life times.”

“Oh, one of my sisters is my twin.” Lance mentioned.

“What is a twin?” Jdalal asked.

“Two babies born from the same pregnancy. I’m older than my sister by seven minutes” The Altean’s eyes nearly popped out of his head.

“BY THE ANCIENTS!!! HOW TERRIFYING!” he screamed in horror.

“Yeah, well get this. Some humans give birth to more than two children at once. Some families have triplets, three children born at the same time while others have more. There is a couple in Russia centuries ago who had sixty-nine children together. Sixteen pairs of twins, seven sets of triplets, and four sets of quadruplets. A few years ago, a woman gave birth to forty-four children all before the age of thirty-six.”

“You must be kidding!” J’dalal gasped.

“We have a book called the Guinnes Book of World Records that documents and records fantastical abnormal feats performs by people. We have one for a man who had Earth’s longest fingernails, the most people a single person murdered, even a world record for the most records broken!” Lance explained.

“Earth culture is truly unique.” J’dalal’s cheek markings glowed with wonder.

“Trust me, that’s barely scratching the surface.” Lance smirked.

“Please, I would love to hear more of Earth culture!” J’dalal begged.

“Sure, I can give you the jist of things that I know of.” Lance stepped to the side and invited J’dalal in.

Meanwhile, it took Lotor a few hours to gather the remaining members of the excavation team. He was happily greeted by his wife and Queen and was regaled by Lance’s diplomatic feat.

“He got Skarinil to apologize to Galra? You’re kidding.” Lotor did not believe what he was hearing.

“And he got Psaldel to apologize to her as well. Even gave Skarinil a taste of her own medicine.” Allura nodded her head as the two walked arm in arm down the hall.

“What is that phrase humans used? She had a taste of humble pie?” Lotor tried to remember.

“Something along the lines. Humans certainly have strange phrases. Even Coran was quite confused by them.” Allura chuckled.

The royal couple continued to walk down the hall when they were startled by laughter coming from Lance’s room. Piqued with curiousity, the royal couple approached Lance door and knocked.

“Come on in!” Lance invited. The door was opened and both Allura and Lotor saw J’dalal and Lance sitting together on his bed talking while J’dalal frantically scribbled notes.

“How intriguing! So humans have secondary genders defining their roles in society? That seems so…restrictive.” J’dalal scribbled in his notebook.

“Kind of. Some people stick to those old restrictive ways but the more we are advancing as a society, the less we see that sort of thing as acceptable. Less than fifty yea--decaphoebs ago, an Omega like me would actually be sold to an Alpha rather than be courted.” Lance explained.

“SOLD!? Like you would be purchased? With money? Isn’t that simply trafficking?” J’dalal questioned.

“It is. Which is why that sort of thing has been abolished/banned and Omegas have more rights to protect ourselves and our families.” Lance nodded his head.

“And you say mates can have more than one partner?” J’dalal asked.

“If all parties are consenting, yeah. Otherwise its infidelity. Though most of us simply call it cheating.” Lance answered.

“Do you have multiple partners as well?” J’dalal’s question was innocent, but just the thought of his mates sent a rush of anxiety through the omega. J’dalal saw the color leave Lance’s face and swiftly apologized for the rude question.

“N-no, its okay. I do. I have two mates. Both Alphas but…we’re taking a little break from each other. They’ve been stressed lately and I didn’t want to get in their way.” Lance smiled and reassured his new friend that everything was just fine.

Allura cleared her throat and J’dalal scrambled to attention and humbly bowed to the rulers of Neo-Altea. Both Allura and Lotor nodded their heads in greeting and requested to speak to Lance privately. J’dalal honored the request and cheerfully bid the paladin good night before leaving. Once J’dalal was out of ear shot, Allura and Lotor sat with Lance on his bed.

“How are you feeling?” Allura grasped Lance’s hands.

“I’m okay, that last question just threw me off guard. I should have seen it coming. That J’dalal guy is really curious about Earth. Kinda feel bad I couldn’t answer all of his questions.” Lance smiled.

“Lance…you know that’s not what I mean.” Without warning, the tears spilled.

“I…I know I’m gonna be okay but…I… Allura, Am I bad? Is it wrong to be here? Is it wrong that I still worry about them? Like I know they don’t love me anymore, but I cant stop loving them. A-are they eating okay? Are they getting enough sleep? Do you think they noticed I was gone? ‘Llura…I’m scared. I don’t want to lose them.” Lanced wept into his friend’s chest as the two royals held his hands and rubbed his back trying to soothe the heartbroken paladin.

“Oh, Lance. You wonderful, loving, caring man. You’re not the one at fault” Allura hummed.

A part of Allura wished she had still stayed by Lance’s side romantically. At least then, she could have protected and prevented him from going through such traumatizing heartaches.

Chapter Text

A few vargas later and everything was prepared for the expedition. They were briefed that periodically they would stop along allied planets for both supplies and fuel. The ship they would be using was the latest model which was like a miniature version of the Castle of Lions and a Slincline mech. After the ship was fully stocked, Everyone enlisted for the trip said their final goodbyes.

Lance gazed on longingly at couples saying goodbye to each other. Shaking his head of that envy, he pulled out his phone and sent dozens of texts to the loved ones back home. He dialed his mother and father’s number so they remembered his voice.

“Hey Mom, we just finished packing up for the second half of our trip and I won’t know when I can talk to you again. I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I’ll be gone for a while. Tell everyone I said hi and that I love them. Take care of yourself. I love you.”

“Hey dad, we’re about to take off now and I just wanted to leave a message to let you know I’ll be careful and that I love you. I don’t know when I’ll get another chance to communicate with you so I’m just giving you a heads up. Take care of yourself and ease up on the cigarettes.”

Once everyone said their goodbyes, the teams boarded the ship and waved goodbye to the massive crowd.

Even with a ship equipped with a Balmera crystal and Allura’s power to open a wormhole, it still took the entire expedition team two weeks to reach the edge of the Patrulian zone. Those who had never been this far gazed in astonished awe while Lance, Allura, and Lotor steadied their breaths. The memory of this place, dubbed “The Graveyard” were still fresh in their minds. However thanks to Voltron’s previous encounter with the Graveyard, the White Hole, and the Guardian, Allura and Lotor have found a way to enter Oriande safely and with other Alteans. Though the Guardian and the Graveyard still didn’t make it easy for them.

“Forgive me, Bherezax. I’m afraid you will have to stay on the ship while we travel to Oriande.” Allura apologized.

“Do not fret, your majesty. After all, I am an engineer and what better place for me than here on the ship? If the ship does sustain any sort of damage, then I will be right where I am needed.” Bherezax saluted.

“I thank you greatly for your understanding and commitment.” Allura courteiously bowed to the Galra engineer.

“Will Paladin Lance be alright? After all he does not carry Altean blood.” J’dalal asked in concern.

“Yes, he will. During our Voltron days, Lance has recieved some of my Altean energy from the time at the Omega Shield. As a result, he is both human and Altean artificially, so to speak.” Allura answered which seemed to ease J’dalal’s nerves.

“Remember, first and foremost, we offer ourselves to the White Lion. He is the guardian of Oriande and he will not hesitate in rejecting anyone here who he deems unworthy.” Lotor reminded the team.

Allura warped the ship to its destination and everyone who would be travelling to Oriande suited up. After all Human, Altean, Galra, pure or mixed; no one wanted to risk acute radiation poisoning, especially with radiation coming from a White Hole.

The closer they came to the Graveyard, the more turbulent the ship became. While the spaceships Allura and Lotor developed with the Coalition’s greatest minds were newer and improved to withstand almost as much as Voltron, it still struggled through the nightmarish hellscape surrounding the White Hole. Much like the ships surrounding them, their own ship was hit by powerful waves and beams of radiation, nearly knocking out the ship’s power. Bherezax wanted to rush to the ship’s engine room but Allura ordered him to hold firm. Fear gripped many of the excavators and scientists as they knelt to the ground and prayed for either safe passage or a merciful end from the Gods. Several times Allura nearly lost her balance and her control of the ship. She would have easily fallen or hit her head had it not been for Lotor and Lance to catch and steady her.

“Allura! We have to use the particle barrier!” Lotor ordered.

“That will deplete our craft’s power if we use it for too long!” Allura argued as she struggled to keep control.

“If we don’t use it now, there will be casualties!” Lotor argued back.

“Allura! I’m with Lotor on this one!” Lance shouted as he tried to help Psaldel back on his feet.

Allura grit her teeth as she weighed her options, and through the shouting and screams of fear she ordered all particle barriers up and running. With the particle barriers operational, the journey through the Graveyard was less bumpy. It wasn’t a smooth ride, but it definitely helped ease everyone’s nerves. Everyone groaned from the turbulent ride and even J’dalal nearly vomited into his book. Luckily no one was hurt save for a couple bruises.

“Okay, now I remember why I hate this dead zone so much.” Lance sighed from the stress.

“This won’t last for long but hopefully it will give us enough protection until we make it to Oriande.” Allura announced with a heavy breath.

“Your majesty, if you will allow it, I can divert some of the castle’s power towards the barrier generator. The living and sleeping quarters will be void of light for most of the time, doors will have to be manually opened and closed, the like. But at least then the particle barrier will last longer.” Bherezax suggested.

“For the time being, I will allow so.” Bherezax bowed and ordered his team to follow him into the engine room. Meanwhile Psaldel also made a suggestion.

“Your Imperial Majesty, perhaps we should all rest before continuing. I fear that your complexion looks rather pallor.” Psaldel pointed out.

“I will be alright. Thank you for your concern.” Allura smiled but it was clear to everyone she was exhausted.

“But, your majesty--” Psaldel was about to object when Lance chimed in.

“Allura, I’m with Psaldel. You’ve always had this habit of overworking yourself to the point of collapse. That happened in our Voltron days and its happening still. Please, just an hour or two. You need your rest as well. Plus, I think everyone is a little too shaken up to continue right now” Lance pleaded. Allura stared into Lance’s concerned expression and her people. Just as Lance said, many of the Alteans, Galra, and other allies were shaken from fear or look like they were about to be very sick. Ultimately, Allura relented.

“Alright, but I must get a report from Bherezax first, then we will take a respite for two vargas. Those who are injured, please head to the medical bay. Everyone else please get some rest.” Allura ordered and everyone either retreated to the med bay, the lounge, or their sleeping quarters.

“I’ll keep an eye on Allura, try and get some sleep. You look as exhausted as she does.” Lotor placed a comforting hand on Lance’s shoulder.

“Thanks Lotor. I appreciate that.” Lance tiredly smiled.

“By the way Lance, I want to ask you something.” Lotor requested.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“How did you get Allura to listen to you like that? Everyone on Neo-Altea begs and pleads with her to rest but she would never do that and ultimately collapse.” Lotor inquired, hoping to learn a trick or two from his wife’s ex.

“I guess it happened after I yelled at her.” Lance scratched his nose bashfully.

“You yelled at her?” Lotor repeated in astonishment.

“Yeah. It was when we were playing cat and mouse with you and your generals. Allura was desperate trying to gain the upper hand and stayed awake for days. Over and over again she ould collapse from exhaustion. One time I asked her to rest and I guess Alteans and humans are more similar than we think because she snapped at me from the exhaustion. I knew the things she said were from the lack of rest but still, it really provoked me.” Lance recalled none too fondly.

“What did she say?” Lotor asked curiously.

“What didn’t she say is the better question.” Lance then began to mimic Allura’s voice and mannerisms, “’I will not have a quiznacking fool order me around in my own ship! Unlike you, I refuse to laze about when we are in the middle of a war! Your family would be ashamed of seeing you like this! Now get out and let me work!’”

“It’s scary how accurate that impression is.” Lotor chuckled.

“Oh I got a million of them. Early in our Voltron days, she always had it out for me, granted I did annoy ad flirted with her a lot. But over time we grew closer.” Lance fondly reminisced, “But when she mentioned my family, I lost it. I was in a blind rage, but I remember grabbing her by the waist and literally carrying her to her room. Threw her on the bed, tossed pillows at her and I ordered her to sleep. She protested of course but that’s when I yelled. And cried. I told her ‘How could you worry Coran like that!?’ and she stayed quiet as I rambled and raged about how she was important to us all and she needed rest in order to function. I yelled about how I was the only one other than Coran who checked up on her because I was worried about her. I told her she was acting just like my abuelo.” Lance regaled.

“Abuelo? What is an abuelo?” Lotor asked curiously.

“It means Grandfather in Spanish. Earth’s got millions of languages and dialects.” Lance explained before continuing, “Both Allura and my Abuelo worked harder than anyone else to achieve their goals. Allura’s goal was to end the war, my Abuelo’s goal was to get out of poverty. But unlike Allura, my Abuelo died. He died when I was barely six but he achieved his goal. But he worked himself to death. I…I dint want that to happen to Allura. Not because she was the key to winning the war, but because she was my friend.”

“Afterwards, I guess we grew closer and she finally saw through my perspective.” Lance chuckled.

“I see, so that’s why Allura now listens to you.” Lotor concluded.

“Well that’s a part of it anyways. And she doesn’t always listen to me. But I think that’s a story for another time!” Lance stretched his arms above his head. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna take a varga long nap.”

“Sleep well, Lance.” Lotor smiled softly and patted the Paladin’s head before returning to his wife.

Lance returned to his quarters and first thing he check was his phone. Sure, he wouldn’t be able to call or message his friends and family but they were at least able to send messages before he hopped on the ship for the expedition. Sure enough, there were several messages. Mostly from Hunk and Pidge. Veronica messaged him to check up on him and then there was his mom.

“Hi Lance, Papi and I got your calls. I hope you’re doing well. I know we won’t be able to talk for a while but I just wanted to let you know that I’m so proud of you and that I love you. Call me whenever you get the chance and I can’t wait to hear about it when you come home”

After his little adventure with Voltron, Lance grew to love his mom and his entire family even more. Sure Abuela isn’t with them anymore but he knew she was taking care of him and the rest of the family from Heaven.

But that blissful moment was gone when he reached the end of the messages and voicemails. At this point, Lance was not surprised to find a single message or voicemail from his Alphas. A bitter humorless laugh escaped Lance’s lips. Funny how Keith and Shiro blew up on him and tear into him when he went out to dinner at the Holt’s home (which was literally five blocks from where he lived) when he was literal light years away from them now.

“They must be glad I’m gone.” Lance mumbled to himself before letting his eyes close and that a nap. For once he was glad he didn’t dream of Shiro and Keith.

Unfortunately, Lance’s extended nap was disrupted by violent shaking. He was literally thrown out of bed. Even though he wasn’t always the most punctual Paladin, that sort of training drill results never left him and he was wide awake, sprinting out the door to the Holodeck.

“What was that!?” Lance yelled.

“The Guardian.” Allura proclaimed. And there it was, in all its Whole Hole energized glory. The head of the White Lion.

“Aw man, NOT YOU AGAIN!” Lance groaned.

Chapter Text

“Aw man, NOT YOU AGAIN!” Lance groaned.

“You don’t suppose he’s still angry after Voltron tried to get into Oriande?” Lotor asked his Paladin friend.

“Hey, last time I checked, you told us it wouldn’t hurt us!” Lance playfully growled.

“We will approach with caution.” Allura spoke with determination. Once more, whispers of prayers begged the Gods.

The ship approached the Guardian and halted, allowing the Lion to access them from a distance. With baited breath, all waited patiently and anxiously. Naturally, Allura and Lotor’s markings glowed first. Those who have never seen such a thing exclaimed in awe and reverence. Slowly but surely others’ marks began to glow. A handful of Alteans and hybrids were not chosen but they were not offended by it. Queen Allura foresaw this possibly happening and reassured her people that they are still essential to their mission.

If only her words soothed Lance. His marks didn’t glow. Granted, he was not of Altean birth like the others but still, it made him feel…insignificant.

You’re not that special so stop acting like you are!

Lance felt a spear of pain shoot through his head and heart remembering Shiro’s harsh words. That was an awful day when it was supposed to be one of the happiest. After all, it was their first anniversary as bonded mates. His alpha was right, he wasn’t special.

“Isn’t this incredible, Lance! We’re allowed to enter Oriande!” J’dalal exclaimed, his own green cheek markings glowing softly.

“Yeah, its amazing!” Lance smiled, his cheek marks void of its glow.

“Oh…Oh Lance, forgive me. I…I didn’t…” J’dalal whimpered.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. I’m just glad the rest of you were chosen. But when you get back, you have to tell me all about it! Like what Oriande looks like, what did you guys find, all that fun jazz okay?” Lance cheered up his new friend.

“Of course!” J’dalal gave the paladin a sad smile.

“Hey, cheer up! Besides, I’m not an actual Altean so of course I wasn’t chosen! I still made it this far with you guys, didn’t I? Go! I’ll be right here waiting for you guys.” Lance hugged the Altean and comforted him. J’dalal hugged him back and promised to bring back any findings. Lance watched the back of his new friend retreat to the other chosen ones. It stung a little, but it was reality. Plus he’s had worse things sting him.

Rather than dwell on not going to Oriande, Lance used his time to connect with the others and do menial tasks around the ship. Eventually Lance made his way to the engine room where Bherezax and his team were overseeing maintenance. The Galra engineer noticed Lance first and gave him a toothy smile as a greeting.

“Hello, Lance. What brings you to this part of the ship?” Bherezax greeted kindly.

“Just trying to distract myself and help around. Need any help around here?” Lance rocked on his feet.

“You weren’t selected for Oriande either?” Bherezax gave him a sympathetic smile.

“Either?” Lance cocked his head to the side.

“My mate, Cartula, is also a part of the expedition but she was not selected. She was upset for a couple doboshes but she’ll be alright.” Bherezax explained as he continued his work.

“Your mate is Altean, I take it? And how do you know she’s still not mad about it?” Lance asked curiously.

“Yes. I know my mate well. She becomes a bit distant as she worries she will lash out at anyone who approaches her while she broods. But then she seeks me out for simple requests like holding my hand or simply leaning against me. She’s the physical touch sort of person. ” Bherezax recalled fondly.

“Wow, I can relate to that.” Lance chuckled and unconsciously thought of his soon-to-be former hotheaded mate.

“What about you, Lance? Do you have your own love story or are you a hopeless romantic like my mate?” Bherezax asked with curiousity in his golden eyes. Lance hesitated for a moment and contemplated if he wanted to spill tea about his mates to everyone who wanted to listen or not.

“Yeah! I have two mates back home on Earth. They’re incredible people, but their works leaves us with little time together.” Lance smiled brightly.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” Bherzax pitied.

“Nah, it’s nothing to worry about. They work really hard for their positions and the best I can do is support them in any way I can. I do miss them though. Sometimes its really hard to sleep at night without them. But I know when they we do have time, they always make it extra special.” Lance fondly spoke. While what he said was true, it was from the past when Shiro was first appointed Admiral and Keith was newly appointed as the Blade’s leader. Back when they were all happy together. Back when they loved him.

“They are truly lucky to have such a wonderful person as their mate.” Bherezax tenderly patted Lance’s head.

“They sure are!” Lance happily lied through his teeth. The two of them happily exchanged stories about their families and homes while Bherezax continued to work. Just like J’dalal, the Galra engineer was astonished to hear that Lance had more than one sibling. Lance also got to learn more about Bherezax. He used to be loyal to the empire but then faked his own death and went AWOL with his crew when he realized this was not improving the universe like their Emperor promised, but instead it was hurting it. Bherezax joined the Blade of Marmora and nearly lost his eyes during the trial. Lance remembered Keith and Shiro talking about the trials and the scar it left on Keith’s shoulder.

It was sad seeing Bherezax’s eyes mist up mentioning his fellow blades. He was particularly close to bulky and prickly Blade named Antok. Lance didn’t have the heart to tell him when the Galra wondered where his friend was. The war took too much from everyone. Lance considered himself lucky that his friends and family made it through together.

Their conversation shifted to their respective mates. Lance learned that Catula was an inhabitant before Neo Altea was Neo Altea. They had met when the Blade was providing supplies and aid to the people and its dying planet. Bherezax saved her from being crushed by stacks of heavy supplies and ended up hurt himself. Lance expressed his concern about his injuries and while Bherezax did sustain a couple head injuries and an injured tail, he smiled bashfully recalling how Cartula helped nurse him back to health. When asked how Lance met his own mates, Lance tried keeping it as vague as possible to avoid outing Keith and Shiro.

Lance told the story of how he used to be rivals with one of them and admired the other. The older alpha brought them together and they worked side by side in the war efforts. During a rather particularly hard day, Lance spilled his heart out to the two Alphas and ran away fearing the rejection he thought was going to happen. Bherezax sighed in relief when Lance told him that the day after, the two Alphas began to court him. Bringing gifts of food, nesting materials, and praise as well as showing off their physical prowess. They became overly protective of him and made it hard for him to work sometimes. But still, they provided him with love and affection which Lance gratefully took in. One particular gift his mates gave him was a stuffed animal. A whale shark they both won for him at a festival. The two alphas fought over who would present it to Lance and ultimately ended up ripping it in half right in front of the omega. Bherezax was in tears from laughing as Lance described the looks on their faces and how they sheepishly presented him the remains of the gift. Rather than presenting it as a gift, they presented the stuff animal like two children forced to place a broken or stolen object into their parent’s waiting hand. Still, Lance loved it and let the two alphas cuddle next to him while he fixed the soft toy.

That same stitched up shark toy was still one of his most prized possessions. It’s all lumpy and mostly flattened in the center from the long lonely nights of hugging it, trying to vicariously feel Keith and Shiro’s warmth through the worn soft fabric. But alas, he refused to bring it along for the expedition mainly because it made his heart ache for his alphas even more. Its sad to know that the stuff animal his mates had heavily scented so often before long missions for Lance now only smelled of his own grieving scent and tears.

It was both soothing and painful talking about Keith and Shiro like this. It was hard letting go to the two men he loved with all his heart. Was it letting them go? Or was it them letting him go? Lance knew he would have to talk to them about breaking up but chances of them actually talking to him were slim. And even if they did talk, it would be 2 vs 1 of Keith and Shiro yelling at Lance for being ‘selfish’ again.

“Are you alright?” Bherezax asked curiously.

“Huh?” the question snapped him out of his intrusive thoughts.

“You’ve been scratching at your neck for a while. Do you need to go to the Med Bay?” Bherezax looked at Lance with worry.

“O-Oh, yeah I’m okay. My scent glands get a little itchy from time to time. No worries.” Lance soothed the fretful Galra. Lance was grateful he didn’t ask any questions but did suggest he see Cartula in the Med Bay if anything doesn’t feel right. In Bherezax’s words, Cartula is “the best doctor on Neo Altea”.

Lance excused himself to return to his room and rest a bit more which Bherezax wished him a good rest before returning to work. The former paladin thought to himself when did his scent gland began itching? Did anything like this happen before? Why was it itching now?

“I’m probably just overthinking it again.” Lance sighed as he opened the door to his room and approached his dresser where some Earth medication laid. He popped a scent blocking pill and heat suppressant and washed it down with a bottle of water before rubbing the scent blocking ointment over his glands. Even if Keith and Shiro weren’t here to complain about the smell, it was just a force of habit.

The cooling gel seemed to soothe and calm the itching. Though his stomach roiled and churned after taking in the pills. Unfortunately, both heat suppressants and scent blocking pills caused some mild nausea that Lance absolutely hated. It left him feeling bloated and cramping for a few hours but they would subside over a few hours.

Lance crawled into bed and listened to the voicemail his mother left him. Her gentle soothing voice lulled him to sleep as he dreamed of what Allura and Lotor would find in Oriande.

Except those dreams turned into different dreams. Memories. Memories he kept close to his heart. Memories of when he was happy and loved.

It was back in their Voltron days. The entire team was invited to an Alien planet’s annual festival celebrating their queen’s birthday. The group split off as a little reward and a bit of r&r. Lance naturally went with Hunk and Pidge while Shiro and Keith did what Shiro and Keith did. Whatever the heck that was.

Hunk, Pidge, and Lance went around playing games, winning prizes, stuffing their faces with artery clogging fair foods when they smelled it. It was rank and sour. It smelled like bile and burnt rubber. It made the three of them gag at the smell. They were about to walk away when they heard two familiar growls.

“Let go, Keith” that was Shiro’s voice.

“I found it first!” Keith argued.

“Yeah, but I was the one who won it!” Shiro growled.

The trio followed the Alphas’ voices while they covered their noses from the scent that grew stronger and more revolting the closer they came. What they saw was….unbecoming and honestly hilarious. Tall, proud, manly Alphas were arguing over a stuffed animal; pulling it towards themselves like a pair of young children shouting “Mine! Mine! Mine!”

They each gave reasons as who deserved it more as they yanked and tugged on the poor thing. At closer inspection, Lance couldn’t help but want it. It was rather large, easily half the size of his own body. It looked almost identical to a whale shark, one of Lance’s favorite animals. The only alien indication was that it had six four fins and axolotl like frills around its mouth. In a way, it kind of reminded Lance of Coran’s moustache. It was mottled with various shades of blue with a white and grey belly. It’s too bad Keith and Shiro were fighting over ownership of it; Lance would have loved to win one for himself.

“Let go, Shiro! I’m giving this to Lance!” Wait, what?!

“No you’re not! I am!!” Shiro argued and pulled harder.

“I told you, I. Found. It. First.” Keith snarled and bared his fangs.

“And yet I. Won. It.” Shiro flashed his own fangs.

“Shiro, I swear to God, you either let go or I will rip your arm off.” Keith threatened his lover.

“And I’m warning you Keith. You already got gifts for Lance! This is mine.” Shiro hissed.

It was a stale mate back and forth tug of war over a carnival stuffed animal. Hunk looked worried out of his pants while Pidge was about to wet hers from the insane laughing. She was laughing so hard she was almost blue in the face. Pidge’s laughter was infectious and soon Lance was laughing along with her. The sound of Lance’s laughter stopped the two Alphas’ tug of war only to rip the poor thing clean in half right in front of Lance.

Both Alphas gasped in horror as they each held half of the stuffed animal they won and fought over, pink cotton like filling spilled out of the plushie and onto the cobblestone paved ground. They stared in horror at the mangled gift before looking to each other and to Lance.

“HE RIPPED IT!” they both simultaneously shouted and quite literally point a finger at each other, accusing the other for the damage done. Taking pity on both of them, Lance approached the Alphas. Upon seeing their crush, Shiro and Keith quickly tried hiding their mutilated prize behind their backs.

“Guys, we heard it all.” Lance chuckled.

Both Shiro and Keith whined and shamefully presented their gift to Lance. But Lance wasn’t disgusted or ashamed. Instead he took the mutilated remains of the space whale shark toy and squeezed them to his chest, purring and chirping in happiness.

“You know, you don’t have to fight over giving me a gift.” Lance chuckled. “Though I have to admit it was pretty funny.”

Shiro and Keith blushed brightly realizing the embarrassing display they put on. Defenders of the Universe…fighting over a stuffed animal…and ripping it in half…in front of their crush.

“Come on, you two. I have a sewing kit in my room.” Lance chuckled and led the two embarrassed Alphas back to the Castle of Lions all while Hunk was carrying a still cackling Pidge away from the games.

Inside the castle, Keith and Shiro tried to hide their eagerness when Lance invited them into his room. “Make yourselves at home” he said as he rummaged through his drawers for a sewing needle and thread. Once found, Lance sat on his bed and tried pushing the loose stuffing back into the plushie before pushing and pulling the needle and thread in, out, up, and down the fluffy fabric. As if they were in hallowed halls, Shiro and Keith carefully approached Lance and sat on either side of him. They watched with rapture and curiousity as Lance’s nimble fingers expertly stitched the two halves together. The three of them sat in comfortable silence as Lance diligently sewed the plushie back together again. The plushie was sewn back together again albeit a little floppy in the middle from the lack of stuffing. But nonetheless it was whole again and Lance loved it. He was about to thank the two Alphas for the gift when he realized they were no longer leaning on his shoulders, but instead lying on his bed fast asleep. Lance smiled at the sight and designed to lay back with them. He planted a kiss to each of their cheeks and take a little nap with them. Right as he was drifting to sleep, the Alphas turned and draped their arms over Lance’s waist and purred contently against his neck.

It was one of those many happy memories which made Lance cling so desperately to and give his former Alphas too much of the benefit of the doubt. But the horrible terrible memories soon overtook the happy ones. And his dreams suddenly turned to nightmares.

It was the night before their anniversary last year. Lance made his mates’ favorite foods and splurged on some really good wine and lingerie. He had everything planned. Dinner, a couple movies, a passionate night in bed. It was simple but he remembered how Shiro and Keith wanted something low profile and simple this year.

Their dining table was draped with a red satin tablecloth and a vase full of fresh blooming roses. Lance lit the tall candles and waited in his seat for his Alphas after texting them that he made something extra special for dinner tonight. He looked at the clock and noticed he was maybe ten minutes early. Ten minutes turned to right on time, 7pm. 7pm turned to 7:15. 7:15 turned to 7:45. 7:45 turned to 9:50pm. Lance texted his mates constantly, asking them when they’d be home. He never got an answer. He tried calling and he only got one dial tone. He left several voice mails and continued waiting. He waited for so long that the candles melted themselves out, leaving a mess of candle wax on its holder and table cloth. The food was cold; the juices of the roast concealed, the salad was wilted and soggy from sitting in the dressing for too long, the unopened bottle of champagne was sitting in a bucket of cold water rather than sitting in ice, and dessert was dripping and melting from the house’s temperature.

Lance waited sitting in the empty dining room until 11:30pm until he ultimately gave up and got up to go change his clothes and wash his face of makeup and tears. Under the shower’s hot spray, Lance let out anxiety induced sobs, doubting himself while never once blaming his mates. He let the shower wash away his tears before getting out and drying off. He wore Shiro’s tshirt and Keith’s pants and sighed longingly as their scent tickled his nose and quelled his frayed nerves.

Going downstairs, Lance wrapped up the uneaten food and placed it in the fridge with a note to his mates. Lance was sure they’d be hungry by the time they got home. Right? The tablecloth was ruined so what was the point of keeping it? It was a stupid cheap thing anyways. Lance tossed it out along with the clumps of chipped candle wax and ate his dinner alone and not even bothering to heat it up. What was the point since it already tasted like ash in his mouth.

The dishes were cleaned and drying on the dish rack when Lance tried calling both his mates again. Again, no response. Lance trudged upstairs to the bedroom they all shared, back when his scent mingled with his mates’. He crawled under the covers and snuggled Wall-e, the whale shark plushie Shiro and Keith won for him years ago. He was scrolling through social media when he sat up so fast he almost passed out from the head rush.

Shiro and Keith….were on a date.

The photos were selfies of them going to the theater to see Hamilton (Lance’s favorite musical), eating at an expensive upscale restaurant, and going to the park for a romantic moonlit stroll. Each and every caption were sweet nothings wishing each other a happy anniversary and thanking each other for being a part of their lives. People commented wishing the happy couple a happy anniversary and chiming in on how cute they were. Someone who knew that the Black Paladins had an omega lover asked where Lance was. Shiro’s response opened the flood gates.

“Oh, he didn’t want to join us but he wanted us to enjoy ourselves.”

Shiro and Keith were on a date….without him…and lied about ever trying to  include him.

Shiro never asked Lance if he wanted to go out for their anniversary. Keith never asked him either. Hell, he hasn’t talked to or seen the two Alphas in almost two weeks! They lied to everyone. Lance waited hours and hours, worrying and missing his mates only to find out through social fucking media that they were out on a date this entire time.

Lance screenshot the post and his Alpha’s comment, closed the app, and re-dialed Shiro’s number. Finally he got an answer.

“Lance! Hey, we got your message. We’re---” Shiro didn’t get a chance to finish his excuse.

“We need to fucking talk. Get home now.” Lance snarled and hung up. Shiro called him immediately after and Lance rejected the call. Doesn’t feel too great huh? Lance stomped downstairs and waited in the kitchen for his so-called ‘loving’ mates. He wanted to cry but what good would that do him? Crying would only make him break down. Crying wouldn’t get his point across. He was angry but he didn’t want to be. He stood in the kitchen for thirty minutes trying to collect his thoughts when he heard the front door open.

“Lance?” Shiro called out. Lance didn’t bother to answer.

“Lance, we’re home!” now it was Keith’s voice.

The two alphas continued to call out to their omega but again, Lance refused to answer them. Again, it didn’t feel too good being ignored, did it?

“Lance, we were calling for you. How was your night, baby?” Shiro’s voice came closer as he hugged his Omega from behind. It was unlike Lance to shove him off seeing as he normally hugged him back so excitedly.

“Lance?” Shiro asked in confusion.

“Did you have fun on your little date?” Lance hissed watching with a breaking heart as both Shiro and Keith flinched. “Must have been nice going on an anniversary date without your other partner even though the three of us share the same anniversary. Did you enjoy Hamilton knowing that it’s my favorite musical and that I’ve been trying to get tickets for months? Hhm? Did you eat well at that fancy restaurant I always wanted to try but you both told me it was dumb and overpriced? Bet it was pretty romantic snuggling up to each other and walking down the park in 55 degree weather instead of being here with me. What’d you talk about? Me? How I wasn’t worth being a part of your cute little date? Or maybe that I wasn’t even worth having around? No, it must have about how annoying and cumbersome it is having me around so much that you LIED about me not wanting to go on a date with you guys on our fucking anniversary!” Lance’s shook as he saw Shiro have the nerve to look ashamed and how Keith’s face contorted into anger.

“What is with you tonight?” then Keith saw the glass bottle. “You’ve been drinking. You’re not in your right mind. Come on, let’s go to bed and talk about this later.” Lance couldn’t believe what he was hearing. They assumed he was drunk when that bottle of champagne was still unopened!

“Excuse me!? I didn’t have a single drop of alcohol and no, there is no later because you and I damn well know that I don’t see you two enough to actually talk! And even if we did, you would just storm off saying ‘we’re not talking about this’!” Lance slapped away Keith’s hand.

“Baby, please let us explain.” Shiro pleaded.

“What’s to explain? You made me wait for HOURS, you rejected every single one of my texts, calls, and voice mails. You obviously checked your phone seeing as you posted your little date on Instagram!” Lance slammed his fist on the counter.

“We didn’t want to bother you.” Lance couldn’t help but scoff at the excuse.

“Bother me? You didn’t want to ‘bother’ me as I waited at the table for over five fucking hours waiting for the loves of my life to come home and celebrate our anniversary together? As a mated pack? While you two were out enjoying something I dreamed of? You didn’t want to bother me as I kept trying to contact you just to see if you two were okay? Go on! What other weak excuses do you have for me?” Lance scoffed in disbelief.

“Dude, what is your problem?! We’re sorry okay? Happy now? Lay off him!” Keith huffed.

“No, you’re not sorry. You just want to shut me up.” Lance bit back.

“Lance, that’s enough. Keith didn’t do anything wrong. You’re drunk and you’re not yourself when you drink.” Shiro warned.

“No! I’m NOT drunk because that bottle is still sealed as the moment I bought it! Okay, I am so fucking fed up with you always taking his side! How is it that I’m the bad guy when you abandoned me without a fucking word! How is it my fault that you didn’t bother communicating with me!?” Lance shouted at his Alpha.

“Here we go again.” Shiro groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“You wanna repeat that!?” Lance growled.

“You always do this! You always make yourself the victim when you have nothing to do with it! You never take responsibility for the things you say and do. You are the one who always starts the fights! You always start by provoking Keith and it always ends up with a fight. Its not fair to him that you use him as a verbal punching bag!” Shiro ‘explained’ as he rubbed his temple.

“Why is it that if Keith gets mad, its justifiable and forgiven but when I get mad, I’m seen as a childish nuisance!?” Lance couldn’t believe this. Level headed Shiro was only looking out for Keith.

“Because you are!!” Keith snarled.

“Lance, we didn’t abandon you. We just figured that you wouldn’t enjoy what we had planned.” Shiro protested.

“You thought I wouldn’t enjoy my favorite musical, a restaurant I’ve wanted to try, and just overall spend time with the men I love with all my heart no matter how many times they break it?! You literally left me out!” Lance shouted.

“Do not raise your voice at us!” Shiro warned.

“Lance, for fuck sake stop being so goddamn sensitive!” Keith groaned, getting more frustrated with his Omega.

“Why don’t you be a real alpha for once and realize you love Keith more than you love me!” Lance shouted even louder at his older mate.

“Because you know that isnt true! I love you and Keith equally, it’s just that you have no right tearing into us like this!” Shiro shouted

“God, why is it always about you!? Maybe Shiro and I want some alone time without you! We don’t always have to include you in everything we do!” Keith raised his voice back.

“It’s not about me! It’s about the fact that you don’t communicate with me! You always make assumptions and accusations about me without listening to a single fucking word I say! Will you burst into flames if you just let me know where you are?! Is it really that awful to just check in with me?!” Lance was gasping for air as his throat tightened from the oncoming tears.

“Why are you so mad about this anyways!? What’s done is done, okay? We’ll take you out next time!” Keith shouted in exasperation.

“Are you that fucking stupid?! I wouldn’t be so fucking angry if you were just honest with me to fucking begin with!!!” Lance was so sick and tired of them not listening to him.

“Dammit Lance! Stop only thinking about yourself for once!!” Keith screamed.

“How about for once you think about others other than Shiro, you selfish fucking prick! God, you only love Shiro and yourself! So much that you have to manipulate and gaslight others if they say anything else!” Lance emotionally threw the insult in his Alpha’s face.

“God you are so childish!” Keith snapped

“GO TO FUCKING HELL, KOGANE!!! FUCK! WHAT DID I EVER SEE IN SUCH A HEARTLESS, IRRESPONSIBLE MAN LIKE YOU!?” Lance shouted at the top of his lungs, both meaning and not meaning every word he said.

Suddenly Lance’s ears were ringing, his face stung, and he tasted blood. When did he sit on the floor? All three of them were stunned when they saw Shiro’s closed fist up in the air. No way. There’s no way. Lance couldn’t believe it. Did…Did he…? He did…! He hit him. Shiro…Shiro hit Lance.

“L-Lance, I’m so sorry, I-I didn’t mean to…” Shiro immediately regretted what he did and tried to help Lance up. Lance pushed his guilt ridden alpha away and stood up on his own. He calmly went to the freezer for a bag of peas. Before he went upstairs, he had one last message for his older Alpha.

“You love me and Keith equally? Yeah fucking right. Goddamn hypocrite.” Without another word, Lance climbed the stairs and into the 2^nd floor bathroom.

He threw the clothes he was wearing off as if they were on fire and burning his skin. He scrubbed his skin raw desperate to get their scent off. Just the scent of his alphas sickened him as he walked into their shared bedroom to grab his clothes and choosing to sleep in their guest room. On his way to the guest room he overheard it. He overheard them talking, not the full thing but it was enough to know what they thought of him.

“It’s not even our fault… you know……always ruins our dates.”

“I know Keith….He shouldn’t…overreacted like that.”

“God, what a fucking idiot.”

Lance made sure they heard the door slam shut as he kicked it closed. He didn’t care that he heard glass from the photo frame shatter or that there was a sizable hole in the cheaply made door from the strength of his kick. He looked in the mirror hanging just above the dresser and moved the bag away from his cheek. His cheek was already changing color from the growing bruise. It was clearly swollen and it hurt to move his jaw. But what hurt the most was that Shiro swore. When he started courting Lance, Shiro swore he would never hit or harm Lance. That he would do nothing but love and respect him and treat him and Keith equally.

“Fucking hypocrites.” Lance bitterly sobbed as he climbed into the stale scentless sheets and cried himself into a restless sleep.

Lance woke up from his dream and instead of the guest room before it was Lance’s room, he stared at the metal wall with glowing cyan lights. He hated that day. It was the worst day of their relationship. Instinctively, he touched his cheek. It was wet with tears but it didn’t throb and sting like it did way back then. He remembered how neither Shiro nor Keith apologized to him. He didn’t see them for days after that incident and since then, they grew further apart. It was always Shiro and Keith. Never Shiro, Keith, and Lance.

It was his own fault, after all. He got angry that he was left out. He should have told his mates back then that he had something planned for the three of them. He shouldn’t have blown up on them like he did. He shouldn’t have upset them. He was the one to blame, not Shiro or Keith. It was his own fault he didn’t belong with them. It was his own fault he was unloved. His own fault he was unlovable.

Chapter Text

“Lance? Come on, when are you coming out? I'm sorry for what I said. Please come out. We got breakfast for you. You have to eat sooner or later.” Keith leaned against the door. For probably the eleventh time today, there was no answer. The Blade could only sigh forlornly and told his mate to heat the food up properly when he wanted to eat and pushed himself off the door and left.

Keith and Shiro hadn’t seen Lance since that night he went out. Keith thought he was being stubborn and hiding out in the guest room and didn’t want to face them. It wouldn’t have been the first time. He did feel bad that he yelled at his Omega. He really didn’t mean to say those words to him, but he was so worried that something had happened to his mate that he just lost his temper. And he knew from experience that this sort of thing always made apologies harder to accept, let alone forgive. Shiro wasn’t that much better either. He’s tried to apologize to Lance several times but just like Keith he never got a response. He some time off and planned several dates to take Lance out on, one on one, as both an apology and a way of showing that he still loved his Omega. But Lance never responded. Shiro continued to check up on Lance any chance he got. But in the end, he got the same response as before. Nothing. After the fourth day, he just gave up. He figured Lance would come out when he’s good and ready. Eventually they continued on just like before the day they snapped at Lance.

The two Alphas shared a pot of coffee and just before they headed out the door when they noticed Lance’s Garrison boots were missing. Shiro just assumed that Lance already left for the Garrison and the two alphas followed suit, hoping they could talk to Lance and know he’s alright. They never once noticed that his boots were gone a long time ago.

The two of them greeted everyone same as every day, did their work same as always, but there were the little things that were…off. Like there was a really weird itch that they couldn’t scratch. It left the two of them jittery every hour or so.

Worse is that Veronica, Hunk, and Pidge were giving them almost dirty looks. Well, Pidge definitely gave them dirty looks. Neither could figure out why. Pidge had flipped them off but they assumed she didn’t get enough coffee in the morning. But Veronica was oddly cold. She was always formal, courteous and respectful to the Admiral. But she didn’t speak as much and when Shiro requested a report on the Garrison, she just handed him a stack of paper reports and turned on her heel to leave without a word. Did she not get enough coffee this morning as well?

Meanwhile, Keith was on edge. He was still worried about Lance. So worried that it made him annoyed and frustrated. Like, okay they fought, nothing new! But to give them the silent treatment for almost three week? But then again, Keith also recognized that he was also to blame. No, there was no ‘also’, he was to blame and he knew it; he was just too proud and stubborn to openly admit it. He was worried, but it didn’t give him the right to blow up on his mate and say such awful things.

“ God, sometimes I wonder why we’re still mates with you”

That was the single most awful thing he had ever said to Lance. He knew how sensitive Lance was and the look on Lance’s face solidified in his gut that he was the one who messed up, especially since he dragged Shiro into it. Keith loved Lance. He would do anything for him and yet he pushed him away. He neglected him so much that the Omega didn’t want to even look at him for weeks. The only thing that could possibly be on par with what he did was when he and Shiro went out for their anniversary without Lance. God, how could he mess up so badly? He could barely focus sparring with Acxa and ended up flat on his back after a particularly strong kick.

“What the hell, Acxa!?” Keith sat up and snarled, startling some other Blades who were training.

“Clearly, you aren’t focusing on our match.” Acxa sighed.

Keith grumbled as he picked himself up and lunged at her, continuing their spar. But over and over again, Keith was knocked to the ground as his mind replayed yesterday’s events over and over again. By the tenth time he was knocked to the ground, Acxa had enough.

“What is with you today? I’ve never seen you so unfocused before.” Axca was clearly annoyed by the lack of challenge.

“It’s nothing.” Keith growled.

“Nothing? That’s your excuse? You’re not a good liar.” Axca pressed on.

“Okay fine! I got in a fight with Lance and he hasn’t talked to me since! Happy!?” Keith snarled at his fellow Blade.

“When am I ever happy?” Axca raised an eyebrow, “Seriously, why don’t you just talk to your mate? He should be working right now and you’re here on Earth.”

“.…” Keith pursed his lips.

“Seriously? When was this fight?” Acxa asked.

“...three weeks ago.” Keith admitted.

“Three weeks?!?” Acxa asked in shock.

“Yeah, I know but I’m still annoyed okay?” Keith scratched his head.

“Why?” Acxa continued to ask.

“What is this?! And interrogation!?” Keith snarled at his 2^nd in command but Acxa only gave him a knowing look, “Okay fine! I’m annoyed because I know its my fault but I don’t know how to approach him! Plus he’s been hiding out in the guest room this entire time and he refuses to come out, let alone talk to us! And it’s pissing me off! I know it’s my fault and I know I shouldn’t have questioned our relationship but he’s had me so fucking worried when he didn’t pick up his phone!”

“So worry warrants your harsh words?” Acxa asked skeptically.

“NO!” Keith shouted before lowering his voice, “No. I know I have this bad habit of saying really bad negative things when I’m stressed and It was never Lance’s fault. I…I shouldn’t use him as a scapegoat for my behaviour. I’m just scared.”

“Scared of what?” Acxa asked.

“I’m scared…that one day I’ll lose him. A part of me wants to keep him tied down in one spot so I know nothing will ever happen to him. But at the same time, I know it isn’t my choice and Lance deserves to be happy.”

“...You know, Veronica told me something just the other day.” Acxa mentioned her human mate.

“What?” Keith looked on quizzically.

“There’s a rumor going around the Garrison. You and the Admiral no longer love the former Red Paladin. And you don’t want him in your little pack anymore.” Acxa recalled the rumor. “There are tons of people who have witnessed you berating, ignoring, and pushing away your mate lately. Some of them are even saying they finally have a chance with Lance.”

“That’s insane! Shiro and I love Lance!” Keith declared.

“Do you? When was the last time you didn’t chastise or ignore him?” Both Blades turned to the new voice which belonged to Lance sister and one of Shiro’s most trusted officers, Veronica.

“Veronica, what are you talking about?” Keith asked his psuedo sister-in-law.

“Keith, I’ve seen it first hand. A lot of people saw it first hand. You and the admiral push Lance away so much that he can’t even approach either of you without being scared that he might upset you and end up being yelled at.” Veronica scowled and crossed her arms.

“It’s…he’s caught me at bad times.” Keith tried to justify.

“Then why is it that when the Admiral shows up literally seconds later, he welcome him with a smile along with hugs and kisses? The very same thing Lance wanted whenever he came to see you that isn’t work related??” Veronica scoffed. Keith was unable to answer knowing that he did in fact favor Shiro’s touch.

“When was the last time you held his hand? Kissed him? Helped him through his heats? When was the last time you told him you loved him?” Veronica scoffed. “When was the last time you even saw Lance before you used him as a verbal punching bag?”

Something about that last question made Keith’s stomach feel heavy, like someone dropped a lead weight in it. When…when was the last time he saw Lance before that night? When was the last time he said ‘I love you’ to his face? When was the last time he saw Lance smile? Without even answering Veronica, Keith bolted out the training room and across the base to where Lance normally teaches. He didn’t care that he nearly bulldozed a few cadets and commanders down, he needed to see his omega. He needed to apologize and he needed to do it now.

Keith had left in such a hurry that others in the training facility couldn’t figure out what happened. But Acxa and Veronica stood side by side knowing that Keith won’t get a chance.

“Should we have told him?” Acxa leaned against her mate.

“No, but then again, they wouldn’t even have noticed until Lance came back.” Veronica sighed and wrapped her arm around her Galra lover.

“If Lance chooses to come back.” Acxa corrected. Veronica couldn’t help but agree. She loved her little brother, but she knew that there was a chance he would leave Earth if it meant being away from the former Black Paladins.

Keith was a huffing panting mess when he finally came into the shooting range. He scanned the area for his mate but saw no trace of Lance. Instead, he saw Commander Aisley teaching the class.

“Commander Kogane! What brings you here?” Commander Aisley greeted with surprise.

“I should be asking you the same. Where is Lance?” Keith snarled unintentionally.

“Commander Serrano? He called about three weeks ago, I believe.” Aisley answered.

“Called out? Called out for what!?” Keith demanded aggressively.

“I-I’m sorry sir, but I don’t know! He hasn’t been here since! I’m only substituting for him!” Aisley raised her hands in surrender.

“When is he going to be back?” Keith snarled.

“I-I’m not sure! I was only told to fill in for him until he returns!” Aisley stuttered in fear.

If Lance wasn’t here, he had to still be at home, right? Keith pulled out his phone and dialed Lance’s number but all he got was Lance’s voice mail. He tried again several times but it results were the same. Fed up and scared, Keith ran to Shiro’s office and again nearly knocking over cadets and commanders alike.

Shiro had just finished a video meeting with Olkarians and was about to go through some paperwork when Keith forced the door open with a slam. The admiral nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw his love. Keith was in the door way frazzled and feral. Shiro stood up from his desk and cradled his mate. He hadn’t seen Keith this panicked in years.

“Is Lance here!? Did you see him!?” Keith panted.

“What? No, I haven’t.” Shiro answered, still confused.

“Fuck…FUCK!!” Keith shouted and stomped his foot. He began pulled at his hair and panting harder.

“Keith, what’s wrong? Are you alright?” Shiro fussed.

“...no…” Keith mumbled.

“Baby, talk to me. Whats wrong?” Shiro pressed gently.

“Lance…He…he…” Keith hiccuped.

“Lance? What did he do this time?” Shiro asked, already on his alpha mate’s side as usual.

“He’s not here.” Keith gasped. “I….I went to see him at the shooting range…but Aisley was there instead! She told me Lance hasn’t shown up for work in weeks! He’s not picking up his phone either!”

A chill ran down Shiro’s spine hearing this. That meant Lance was home this entire time, right? But they saw his work boots were gone. He had to be here at work or at home. Maybe he was at Veronica and Acxa’s house?

Worried, Shiro called Veronica and asked if she had seen Lance at all in the past few days. Veronica said no and she didn’t know where he was. Fearing the worst, both of them rushed out to their cruiser to get home and check on Lance. If Lance had called out, why wasn’t Shiro notified? What if he was home all alone? What if Lance was sick? What if Lance was hurt and couldn’t reach the door or his phone? Every scenario ran through their heads as they pulled up to their house and burst through their front door and called out his name.

Both of them ran through the threshold and into the hall, continuing to call out their Omega’s name. They ran up the stairs into their shared bedroom and saw no one. They checked their ensuite bathroom and again, nothing.

“Lance! Come out! This isn’t funny!” Shiro called out.

“Dammit Lance! Come out here now!” Keith used his Alpha voice, but there was nothing. He was about to call out again when Shiro slapped his hand over his mouth.

“Keith wait. Do you smell that?” Shiro inquired. Once his hand was removed from his mate’s mouth, Keith began to sniff the air.

“I don’t smell anything.” Keith continued to sniff.

“Exactly. It doesn’t smell like Lance. When…when was the last time Lance was even in our room?” It finally dawned on the two Alphas. They ran and checked the guest room but the door was locked.

“Lance! Honey, please answer the door! We just want to talk to you! I swear! I swear we won’t say anything! We just want to know you’re here and that you’re okay!! Please!” Shiro banged on the door repeatedly. But there was no answer.

“Lance! Lance, you’re really freaking us out! Dammit, open the door before I bust it open!” Keith threatened. Again, no response. Keith made good on his promise. He stepped back and kicked down the door with ease but then both alphas gagged when a lingering yet pungent smell coming from the room.

It was faint but it was still familiar smell. It stank of rotting seaweed and gasoline. They recognized the smell as Lance’s scent when he was painfully distressed. But there was more to the scent. It was a strange smell that reminded Shiro and Keith of the sterile hospital wing of the Garrison. The two scents mixed and hung around in the guest room like a light haze but at the same time, they smelled something else that was also familiar. Through the stench Shiro and Keith smelled something faintly sweet and comforting like fresh sun-dried linens and beach plums. A scent they forgot they adored.

Lance.

While their own bedroom smelled only of Shiro and Keith, this room vaguely smelled like Lance both good and bad. The dull sweet scent clung to everything in the guest room and Shiro realized Lance had claimed this room as his own rather than continue to stay with them in their shared master bedroom. That alone broke his heart. They never once noticed that Lance no longer shared the room with them. But the question was how long has Lance claimed their guest room as his own? How long was he alone? Why didn’t they notice it sooner? Keith’s own heart clenched when he recognized the chemical like smell.

“He…he was using scent blockers.” Keith announced through a constricted throat. He noticed them on the dresser and picked up a small empty box. Sure enough, it was both generic and prescription brand scent blockers; both in oral and topical forms.

“He’s used a lot of them.” Shiro looked down into the small trash bin and saw empty boxes and used up tubes and foil backed blister packs. At least six tubes squeezed to death, twelve empty blister packs, and more than a dozen flattened boxes.

“Why would he…” then it dawned on Keith. “I…oh fuck. I…I didn’t mean it like that. I…I said his scent stank up our room. He must have overhead me…” Keith sank to the bed and buried his face in his hands.

Shiro felt just as much despair when he looked around their once-guest room. Lance’s favorite stuffed animals were on the bed, along with his photo frames, some of his skin care goods, his clothes still in the dresser, even his paladin armor was in here. He picked up the photo frame sitting on the bedside table. His gut twisted with guilt seeing who was in the picture. It was the three of them. They went to Varadero for Lance’s brother’s wedding. Lance stood in the middle of Shiro and Keith, smiling brighter than the sun. When was the last time they saw him smile? When was the last time they made Lance smile? It made his chest tighten and ache seeing how lovingly both he and Keith stared at Lance in the picture. This was from years ago when Keith and Shiro weren’t in such highly esteemed positions of power. Shiro set the photo down and sat down next to his mate. Shiro’s heart broke seeing Wall-E still sitting on the bed. He let out a broken gasp. Lance loved Wall-E. He would never leave Wall-E behind unless…

Shiro stood up abruptly and opened the closet. He only saw half of Lance’s clothes hanging inside. And that Lance’s favorite suitcase was missing.

“Keith, he’s not here.” Shiro announced.

“I know he isn’t here! Dammit!” Keith cursed.

“No, I mean, he’s not here in our house. His suitcase is gone and so is half of his clothes!” Shiro explained. That sinking feeling in their guys grew heavier and heavier. They checked the bathrooms and found Lance’s tooth brush, fancy Altean toothpaste, and his favorite skincare products were gone. They recalled him offhandedly stating that if he ever left for anywhere he’d never leave the goods, as he liked to call them.

They continued to search the house and call out their mate’s name but there was no response. Their next thought was to check the garage. They nearly tripped over themselves and each other to reach the door leading to their garage. Lance’s own cruiser was still in the garage untouched and collecting dust. Did Lance leave with someone? Who did he leave with? Where did he go? They went back into the living room to collect their thoughts and figure out where Lance could be when Keith went into the kitchen for a bottle of water to help calm his nerves. What he didn’t expect was a folded note stuck to the refrigerator door. The younger alpha opened the note and scanned through its contents. Shiro was nearly scared to death when Keith collapsed to the floor.

“Keith! Are you okay!?” Shiro rushed to his mate’s side.

“He left. He…He left us, Shiro.” Keith gasped hysterically as tears streamed down his face.

“What are you talking about?” Shiro asked and saw the note clutched in Keith’s hands. He pulled the note out of the Blade’s hand and regretted reading it.

Shiro, Keith, by the time you get this message I’ll be long gone. Don’t look for me, don’t ask anyone about my whereabouts because they don’t know either.

I don’t know when I’ll be back, if   I even choose to come back. After all, it’s not my house, and it’s definitely not my home. It stopped being my home a long time ago. I tried so hard to wait for you. I tried telling myself you still loved me. But I wasted so much time fooling myself. I get it, you don’t want me as your mate anymore. That’s fine. But why did you drag it out? Why couldn’t you just tell me? You two always complained that I couldn’t communicate and yet you did the same exact thing.

You ignored me for so long and I was actually happy when you guys yelled at me for whatever reason because that was the only time you gave me any attention. But I realize now that attention was never worth it. I realized you never loved me.

You have no idea how badly it hurts, being abandoned by the men you love more than yourself. Trying so desperately to cling on to that last shred of hope and telling yourself “maybe today they’ll love me again” or “They love me, they’re just busy”

It took me too long to realize I don’t belong with you two anymore. Don’t bother looking for me, I’m doing just fine. I’m with people who care and love me and make me happy.

Love

---Lance

PS, there’s still leftovers in the fridge and freezer. Eat them before they go bad and stop eating that gross fast food garbage.

“Had…had we really ignored him this long?” Shiro hiccuped.

“But we do still love him! We never stopped loving him!” Keith yelled.

“Keith, Lance wouldn’t say these things if they weren’t true.” Shiro choked out. Keith growled in frustration and pulled out his phone. He tried calling Lance over and over again but it went straight to voicemail.

“DAMMIT!” Keith threw his phone down in frustration. Then he turned to his mate.

“We have to find him! Maybe Hunk knows! Or Pidge! Veronica has to know! She’s his sister!” Keith demanded through the tears.

“Keith, you read the letter. He doesn’t want to be found.” Shiro relented sadly.

“BULLSHIT!! Fuck what the letter says! I’m going to find out where our mate is and I’m bringing him home!!” Keith stood up and yelled.

“Keith, wait!” Shiro caught his mate’s arm. “Let’s try and calm down before we go out an look for him. Let’s try to talk to Hunk and Pidge first. I’ll start with Hunk and you talk to Pidge. They have to know something.”

As they headed towards the front door, they noticed it again. Lance was right, he didn’t have a place in their home. All of the pictures on the wall were of Shiro and Keith. If not, it was of Kosmo or their friends and family. The only picture of Lance was tucked away in an inconspicuous corner of the mantle. Their sofa was free of any of Lance’s stuffed animals or any of the blankets he had knitted for them. All of his gossipy magazines were gone, even his plants weren’t sitting on the windowsill like they used to. The only evidence that Lance was ever here was a lumpy pillow that reeked of his scent and salty tears. How many times did he cry into that thing?

Keith wiped the tears before they got back into the cruiser and returned to the Garrison.

Both Hunk and Pidge were tough to find sometimes. They never really stayed in one place and worked in all departments of the Garrison. One day Hunk could be working in the garage or hangers fixing the crafts, other times he could be in the Garrison kitchen analyzing and changing the menus to optimize flavor and nutrition. And then there was Pidge. Pidge was anywhere and everywhere at the same time but she knew how to disappear when she wanted to. She could be with her brother and father coding and analyzing data, she could be in her lab improving Chip, she could be with her mother working on agricultural advances. She could even be teaching a class. Or she could be hiding in plain sight to avoid any and all work in favor of her games.

The two alphas split up and Shiro searched to find Hunk . He asked officers and cadets, really anyone if they’ve seen the yellow paladin. Most of them said they hadn’t while some recalled his last known positions which was hours ago. And when he wasn’t at his last known position, Shiro began to ask around again. In the end, Shiro was finally led to his old friend in one of the mechanical engineering classrooms where Hunk was preparing for a lecture.

“Hey Hunk, can I ask you something?” Shiro approached.

“Sure, what’s up?” Hunk responded, still not taking his eyes away from his work.

“Have you seen Lance? We checked the Garrison and the house but he wasn’t there. Do you know where he is?” Shiro asked worriedly and noticed Hunk’s slight flinch.

“Sorry, Shiro, cant say I have.” Hunk answered.

“Hunk, you’re Lance’s best friend. He tells you everything and it’s worrying both me and Keith to death.” Shiro pleaded.

“Shiro, I’m sorry but I haven’t talked to Lance in a while.” Hunk sighed.

“Hunk, please. I know when you’re lying. You know where Lance is.” Shiro pressed on. He was getting frustrated with the vague answers.

“Shiro, I’m telling you the truth. I don’t know where Lance is. I haven’t been able to talk to him in week!” Hunk asserted himself.

“Hunk, I am your commanding officer and I know you know where Lance is. Now you will tell me.” Shiro nearly used his alpha voice. Hunk slammed down his wrench in response.

“Shiro, I respect you as my leader and as my friend. But Lance is much higher on my list of priorities than you or your authority. I have told you already, I don’t know where Lance is! Now I have work to do and we both know you can’t lose another mechanical engineer.” Hunk growled back.

Shiro growled and bared his fangs. He was about to argue again when a terrified officer interrupted.

“Sir! We need your help! Doctor Holt is assaulting Commander Kogane!” the officer panted.

“Colleen is attacking Keith!?” Shiro shouted.

“No sir, Doctor Katie Holt!” The officer corrected.

“Oh no…” Shiro groaned and ran out the garage to help his Galra mate with Hunk following him.

Chapter Text

Pidge was notoriously hard to find. There was a reason why she also specialized in stealth and espionage back when she was the Green Paladin. She was everywhere, anywhere, and nowhere. Here one second, and the next somehow in the vents off to her next destination. Why is exactly why Keith was having hell trying to find her. Hell, finding a needle in a haystack was easier than tracking down Pidge. However, it was easier to track down her brother. Keith dialed Matt’s number and prayed he picked up.

“Keith? What’s up?” Matt’s voice answered the phone.

“Matt? Do you know where Pidge is?” Keith asked desperately.

“Yeah, with me and dad. We’re working on Chip in the robotics lab.” Matt answered.

“Stay there!” Keith barked and suddenly skid to a halt and made a sharp u turn on his feet towards the opposite direction. The robotics lab was on the other side of the garrison so Keith ran as fast as he could regardless of who he nearly dozed over, including his own mother and Kolivan.

“Keith?” Krolia called out.

“Sorry, mom! No time!” Keith apologized but he didn’t stop.

In the robotics lab, Matt was both confused about Keith’s sudden call and Pidge’s behaviour. Why didn’t Keith simply call Pidge? He has her number. And why was Pidge more ornery than usual?

“So…Missed your fourth cup of coffee this morning?” Matt not so casually asked.

“Drop it, Matt.” Pidge warned.

“Pidge, I’m just being your big bro but there’s something bothering you. SOmething that involves Keith. What you got a crush on him or something?” Matt ducked when a still very hot saudering iron was hucked at his head.

“I. Said. Drop. It.” Pidge growled.

“Pidge, talk to me.” Matt dropped his teasing brotherly act.

“No because you’re friends with Shiro and you’re gonna tell him. I’m serious, Matt, I don’t want anything to do with Keith or Shiro! Especially when I promised Lance and Hunk.” Pidge stood up and grabbed her bag. She didn’t want to deal with Keith and his bullshit now, later, or ever.

But it was too late, Keith opened the door and marched in.

“Pidge! Have you seen Lance?” Keith panted, barely able to get the question out.

“Oh great, my headache is here.” Pidge crossed her arms and rolled her eyes.

“Where is Lance?” Keith demanded now that he mostly caught his breath. Instead of an answer, Pidge turned her head with her nose up high and gave him the middle finger.

“Pidge, stop fucking around and tell me where my mate is!” Keith growled.

“Go check his office, he is the Admiral after all.” Pidge scoffed and readjusted her bag.

“You know that’s not who I mean!” Keith growled and bared his fangs.

“You sure about that? Because everyone knows you love him more than one of my best friends.” Pidge glared.

“For--what are you talking about!? Where is Lance?!” Keith shouted.

“Somewhere you don’t need to know.” Pidge growled and bared her own teeth.

“You do know. Where is he?!” Keith demanded again.

“I’m not telling you because I don’t know either!” Pidge shouted.

“Pidge, I’m not here to play games. Where. Is. Lance?!” Keith grabbed her by the collar.

“Keith! Let go of my sister!” Matt warned.

“Fuck off, Kogane!” Pidge shouted in his face.

“What’s going on here?” Sam asked.

“Sam! Do you know…” Keith was distracted for a moment just long enough for Pidge to get out of his hold. Using the weight of her bag, she used the momentum and punch Keith in the cheek. It wasn’t a very strong punch, but it was enough to make Keith lose his footing and Pidge straddled his chest with her fists raised high.

True, her punches weren’t as strong as the other paladins’, but she was quick and Allura made sure to beat enough training into all of them in case they didn’t have their bayards and/or lions. Pidge may have been more brains than brawn, but she made up for that in pure gremlin energy.

She never gave Keith a moment to recover, never a moment to block or throw her off. She just punched and scratched and did as much harm as she could to the former Black Paladin/former friend. Memories of Lance came to mind with every punch. Memories of him pining for the two Black Paladins, crying during the trio’s game/movie nights in longing for the two Alphas, the tears of joy when they wanted him for themselves. And the awful moment she saw Keith push Lance away for the first time. And the times he came to her and Hunk, both together and separately, crying his eyes out that his mates no longer love him. Fuck, Lance never even said goodbye before leaving. All she got was a message saying that he was leaving for Oriande and that he wasn’t sure when he was going to be back. But by then, he was long gone.

“This is your fault! All of it is your fault!” Pidge finally snapped and screamed through the tears as she continued wailing on Keith who in turn blocking her punches the best he could. And all this time, Sam and Matt were struggling to get Pidge off of him. Not only was Pidge small and feisty, but she was squirrelly. She slipped out of her family’s hold and continued to kick and hit until Sam called for back up. It took only moments to get several officers to help detain Doctor Katie Holt but even then that wasn’t enough.

“Hey! Someone go get Shiro!” Sam barked out orders and the guard closest to the door bolted out and went to search for the admiral. By the time Shiro and Hunk arrived to the lab, Pidge was still on top of Keith pummeling him as hard as she could. Matt was also there trying to hold back his little sister, but his grip was slipping.

“What is going on here!?” Shiro shouted as he rushed to his mate’s aid. By the time he got to Keith, even with Matt still struggling to restrain his younger sister, Pidge had landed another nasty right hook into Keith’s jaw and raised her left arm to give him another. Shiro caught her arm just in time but she was a stubborn scrapper. Even if her arms were restrained, Pidge still had her legs and was able to kick Keith in the head and gut.

“Hunk! Do something!” Shiro called out to the yellow paladin.

“No, I think both of you deserve this.” Hunk scowled and crossed his arms.

“Both of us?” Shiro repeated only to get punched in the temple. Shiro’s grip on Pidge loosened which the green paladin took full advantage of. It took her entire family, Shiro, and two Blades to pry a screaming crying Katie Holt off and pull Keith away from the Green Paladin.

“What the fuck, Pidge!?” Keith screamed as he wiped the blood off his lip.

“Drop dead, Kogane!” the young Beta scientist screamed back.

“What happened!?” Shiro growled at Pidge.

“Don’t act like you fucking care!” Pidge continued to scream and struggle.

“I asked her where Lance was and she just lost it on me!” Keith shouted.

“Because you fucking deserve it!” Pidge screamed back.

“Pidge, we just want to find where Lance is.” Shiro explained. His only response from her was screaming at him to go to Hell.

“Why you-!” Keith snarled and lunged, only to get held back by his mate.

“Katie, do you know where Lance is?” Shiro asked patiently. Instead, Pidge spat at his feet. “Katie. Please. We just want to talk to Lance.”

“Why? So you can ignore him and make him doubt himself again!? Why should I help you make him miserable again!?” Pidge screamed and yanked herself out of her human restraints.

“Please, Pidge, you know we love Lance and we have to bring him home.” Keith begged. Pidge managed to escape her human restraints and marched angrily towards the Alphas.

“Bullshit. If you love him so much, why did you neglect him? I know you two, you’re gonna use that work excuse. I get it, you two are the Admiral and the Blade Leader. A pair of big shots who happen to have enough time for each other but nowhere near enough time for the firearms instructor! What? Is it because he’s a lower position than you two? Are you embarrassed to be around him or something?” Pidge jabbed at Keith’s chest.

“Of course not! You know we love him!” Keith defended himself.

“You two really seem to enjoy throwing around that word a lot.” Hunk glowered as he stood beside Pidge.

“What?” Both Alphas asked dumbly.

“You know who also threw that word around a lot? Lance. But unlike you, when Lance says he loves you, he actually means it. He shows it. He proves it. But apparently you two have a completely different definition of love when it comes to Lance. You think calling him names pushing him away, and blatantly ignoring him and his feelings is love? If that’s love than I wouldn’t want to be loved by you either!” Hunk scowled and lectured his former leaders.

“Guys, we realize now that we messed up which is why we have to find him. So we can apologize and try to go back to normal.” Shiro pleaded. Hunk and Pidge looked to one another and crossed their arms.

“Pidge, maybe we should tell them.” Hunk suggested.

“Why!? You saw how Lance was like! He lost so much weight, he was so fucking pale, and he was constantly worrying or crying! He was scared over every little thing asking if it would make Shiro or Keith mad at him!?! How many times did he pass out from anxiety and panic attacks!? How many times did he get Heat sickness!? He didn’t even smell like himself anymore! He just stank of those gross scent blockers! He’s been getting sicker and sicker because of those two assholes! He was obsessed over what he did wrong! And now look at him! He’s doing SO much better now without these assholes in his life!! Why should we take that away from him? Because of his idiot mates claim they want him back and that they love him!? they’re liars! That’s all they’ve ever been!” Pidge angrily ranted.

“Don’t want…Pidge, what are you talking about?” Shiro feared the worst.

“Don’t play dumb with me, asshole! Obviously you haven’t been paying attention to him to even notice! You were just too obsessed with each other to realize that Lance wasn’t even a third wheel! You know what he said? He said it didn’t even feel like he was a part of your lives anymore! Typical. You fucked him a couple times and once you get tired of him, you throw him away.” Pidge scoffed.

“Dammit Pidge, you know that isn’t true! Now just tell us where he is!” Keith snarled.

“It’s the bond marks you gave him.” Hunk finally admitted.

“Don’t you fucking dare.” Pidge snapped at her best friend.

“This is all I’m telling you two.” Hunk calmly warned. “As you know, Alphas continuously give their mates bond marks on their scent glands to stake their claim as mates. The marks you two gave him are faded and almost not even there anymore. You abandoned him. You made it clear you two don’t want him as your mate.”

“T-That’s not true! You two know we love Lance!” Keith shuddered.

“T-that’s right! We’ve hardly had time for each other let alone with Lance!” Shiro tried to defend himself and his Alpha mate.

“No, you used to love him. Keith, Shiro, we’ve all seen how you’ve been treating Lance. You neglected him and it was killing him. You rejected him and you two have a lot of nerve wanting him back now that he’s left. You can’t use that work excuse when Lance also works at the Garrison. We’ve seen you two push him away when he wants attention. You claim you hardly have time for each other but you two have gone out of your ways to find each other. You two always stand side by side holding each other’s hands and honestly displaying way too much PDA, but when Lance wants the same, you push him away. Is it really that disgusting to give Lance a little affirmation? I said this before and I will say it again and again. I will always put Lance before you two, regardless if you’re my commanding officers or not.” Hunk growled.

“Hunk, please tell us so we can at least apologize to him.” Keith pleaded.

“You can’t just apologize and think everything is sunshine and lollipops again.” Pidge scoffed.

“But--!” Keith was about to argue when Hunk grabbed an empty test tube and handed it to Keith.

“Throw it to the floor.” Hunk ordered.

“You’re kidding.” Keith asked in disbelief. But Hunk wasn’t kidding. Keith hesitantly dropped the glass and watched it shatter onto the floor.

“Apologize.” Hunk ordered.

“Hunk…” Keith growled.

“Apologize to the test tube for breaking it.” Hunk crossed his arms and ordered.

“...I’m sorry for breaking you.” Keith apologized to the glass feeling absolutely ridiculous.

“What happened?” Hunk asked.

“Hunk, what is your point!?” Keith demanded.

“Well? Did the test tube magically go back to normal?” Oh, that’s what he meant.

“Keith, Shiro. You could pick up every piece of glass, no matter how small it is. You can use tape and glue but it will never be back to the way it was. That’s exactly how Lance is. You’ve broken the man and no amount of apologies will fix him. He’s traumatized by the men he loved and trusted in the entire world. He’s traumatized. By. You.” Hunk snarled, “And I swear, if you try to go out of your way to look for him when its clear he doesn’t want to be found, I will break both of you in half over my knee.” Hunk growled and quickly took Pidge away from the remorseful alphas.

The two betas barely made it down to the end of the hall when Pidge’s shoulders shuddered and she couldn’t hold back her tears.

“Who the fuck do they think they are asking for him like that?” Pidge growled through her teeth as she wiped away her tears.

“We’ll let them feel what Lance felt all this time.” Hunk announced and Pidge agreed, let them have a taste of their own medicine.

“Do you think they’re actually sorry for what they did? Or are they sorry they realized too late?” Pidge wiped her eyes and sniffled.

“I don’t know. I honestly hope Lance doesn’t go back to them. He deserves better than that.” Hunk hummed and fought back his own tears.

Rather than treating Keith at the hospital wing, the Alpha couple went home ashamed and heartbroken. It was bittersweet knowing that if Lance was still home, he’d baby Keith and kiss all of his wounds better after dressing them. He never admitted it, but Keith had enjoyed when Lance spoiled him like that. He forlornly remembered a time when he came home after a long mission, bruised, bloodied, and bandaged. He remembered he left a terrifying message for his mates fearing that he wouldn’t be able to come home alive.

He trudged through the front door, sore and just wanting to sleep off the pain until they healed on their own. What he didn’t expect was to see Lance sitting anxiously at the bottom step of their staircase. His Omega jumped up from his spot and rushed to his mate and held him tightly all while sobbing into his chest.

“You fucking idiot!” he shouted, “Why would you leave me that voicemail!? Why didn’t you call me to tell me you were okay!? Why do you enjoy worrying me like this!?”

“Lance, I’m sorry. I couldn’t exactly call you when I was unconscious.” Keith sighed tiredly and held his mate closer to his chest.

“Still!! You could have contacted me after you woke up or had someone do it for you or…or something!! Two months of worrying nonstop!!” Lance continued to sob.

“I’m sorry, honey. It won’t happen again. I promise.” Keith kissed Lance’s head and it seemed to calm Lance down a little. The sobs slowed to sniffles and hiccups. The two of them didn’t move from that stop in front of the door. They just took in each other’s warmth and scents until Shiro came downstairs and ushered them both to their shared bedroom for a well deserved rest.

Keith couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed that Lance was helping him shower, but Lance insisted because he was hurt so badly. Lance gasped at the sight of the bruising, the scars, and the wounds that were still healing. Keith felt ashamed for worrying his mate and stayed silent as Lance continued to gently clean him up. After getting out of the shower and dried off, Lance clung to Keith in bed.

“Promise me.” Lance mumbled into his chest. “Promise me you will never leave me like that. Promise me you’ll never hurt me like that ever again! Promise me you’ll always come back to me.”

“I promise, Lance. I swear to you, I will never hurt you like that ever again.” Keith sealed that promise with a kiss and went to sighed in peace, finally able to sleep calmly again.

Only fools break their promises.

“I broke my promise.” Keith whimpered not caring that his tears stung at his cheeks.

“Keith?” Shiro looked up at his mate.

“I…I promised I would hurt Lance like last time and yet I…I broke our promise. God, I’m such an idiot.” Keith crumpled and sobbed into his hands, uncaring that the salt from his tears burned his wounds.

“Baby, we’ll get him back. And when we do, we’re gonna do everything it takes to make it up to him.” Shiro promised his Alpha mate with tears in his own eyes.

“But you heard Hunk! What if he doesn’t want us!? What if the damage we did was too much!? Whjat if he found someone better! Shiro…I don’t want to lose Lance. I love him. I love him so much. Dammit! I put work and you above him and now it’s my fault he’s gone. I should have never said that to him! I should have never questioned why we were still mates!” Keith wailed harder into his hands.

“We won’t know unless we try. And Keith, we’re both to blame. We both put ourselves above him. Hell, you…you weren’t the one who hit him. God, I’m still angry at myself for doing that.” Shiro bitterly remembered.

“But still! He doesn’t deserve any of this! He’s the most amazing person we know! And yet we took him for granted! We pushed him away! It would take a miracle for him to even look at us, let alone speak to us!” Keith sobbed.

“We’ll get him back. Even if it kills us.” Shiro brought Keith into his arms and did his best to calm him down. It took a while but Keith managed to calm down, but he was still trapped in his own mind. Shiro knew all too well that he was still blaming himself for Lance’s disappearance, not like he was any better. Still,  Shiro led Keith into the kitchen stating they had to eat something. He could already hear Lance chastizing them over not eating when things bothered them.

“Starving yourself won’t make the situation any better! Come sit at the table, I made your favorites!” Lance would sooth his mates with a plate piled with freshly cooked food and offer his own take on the situation. He was always the type who wanted to help in any way he could.

 Shiro dug around the fridge and freezer which made his heart ache even more. There were freezer bags and tupperware full of the foods they enjoyed the most, each of them with instructions how to heat up in the microwave along with little notes. Some were silly and cheesy pick up lines like “Will you brie mine?” and “Are you peanut butter? Because you make my legs feel like jelly!”. His favorite was “I’d love to kiss you S’More!”. Then there were others that simply said ‘I love you’ with little blue, red, and black hearts. Everything Lance did for them was made with and out of love. And yet, both Shiro and Keith stopped reciprocating that love. How many days has Lance sat at the table waiting for his mates to come home? How many times has he had to wait until the food went cold before giving up and wrapping it all up to put in the fridge and freezer? When did they stop seeing Lance as the love of their lives? Why did they stop? That question weighed heavy on Shiro’s mind as he heated their food in the microwave. The food was heated up and the two Alphas sat together at the table. It felt empty without Lance sitting there laughing and eating with them.

“How is it? Not too salty or bland, right?” Lance would ask with eagerness.

“It’s good.” Keith complimented through the tears.

“It is. It’s really good.” Shiro choked back a sob as he ate. Both of them ate in mournful silence. They did the dishes after they ate, their stomachs feeling both full and empty at the same time. That was always their job after meals. After all, it was only fair since Lance worked so hard to cook everything for them. Lance would smile and thank them with both words and kisses. Kisses they missed and craved. The day’s discovery made them so emotionally and mentally tired that they decided to go to bed earlier than they normally would.

Keith went inside Lance’s room and grabbed Wall-E and one of the blankets from the bed, bringing it to the bed he shared with Shiro. They both curled up in the blanket and sat Wall-E between them, right where Lance would normally sleep. Both the blanket and Wall-E stank of Lance’s anxiety fueled scent which stung at the Alphas’ noses. But they curled in deeper, desperate to get a whiff of that painfully faint and gentle scent that was Lance.

Keith had cried himself to sleep, but Shiro was wide awake. He spent hours tossing and turning in bed before finally giving up. He laid flat on his back, staring at the ceiling and his left hand. It disgusted him. He used this same hand to hit his cherished Omega, the same Omega who took his breath away. All because he was the one to lie to Lance. Lance had every right to be angry and feel left out, yet Shiro defended Keith and himself as if they were right and Lance was wrong. It was sickening feeling Lance’s soft skin under his hand like that. That phantom feeling was worse than any phantom pain he’s ever gone through in his life. But what horrified him was that Lance didn’t react. He didn’t get angry and lash out, he didn’t cry; he just stood up and walked away with a teary blank look on his face. Like he was used to it.

No matter how many times he apologized to Lance after that day, no matter how much or how hard he scrubbed his hands clean, he still felt so dirty for what he did. Shiro was so nauseated from the memory and the memories of pushing Lance away that he couldn’t lay down anymore. His stomach roiled and churned, ultimately choosing to get out of bed and throw up in the downstairs bathroom so not to wake up Keith.

He knelt before the toilet, rejecting everything in his stomach until he was painfully dry heaving and spitting the last of the sour bile into the bowl. He flushed the toilet and rinsed his mouth clean of the foul smelling and tasting fluid. He rinsed his face of any sweat, tears, and saliva and looked at himself in the mirror.

Garrison Golden Boy. The Prodigy. The Black Paladin. Captain of the Atlus. Defender of the Universe. Admiral of the North American Galaxy Garrison.

All those high brow, gilded titles. All of those stupid titles were worthless without Lance by his side. Just like Keith, Lance stood by Shiro every step of the way. He encouraged him, quelled him, loved him and it gave Shiro the strength to go on and climb higher and higher. And yet, when Lance needed him the most, no matter how small or big the issue, Shiro wasn’t there. Instead he put Keith on a pedestal and chose his concerns over Lance’s. Every damn time Keith and Lance fought, Shiro always chose Keith’s side. Every time Lance complained about Keith, it was always “Keith has a point”, any time something happened between Keith and Lance, it was always “What did Lance do this time?” even though it would be Keith’s fault half of the time. Was it because Shiro was with Keith much longer than Lance? Maybe it was because Shiro knew Keith’s circumstances growing up in foster care. Whatever the reason, it wasn’t fair to Lance that Shiro took Keith’s side. It wasn’t fair that Shiro lied about playing favorites. It wasn’t fair that Shiro and Keith made so many assumptions of their mate.

Shiro went into the kitchen for a cup of tea, something Lance often made for him when he was nauseated from stress. Lance always had a stockpile of teas to help both him and Keith with whatever ails them. Upset stomach? Ginger honey. Sore throat? Licorice and marshmallow root. Stress? Mint and rose white tea. Insomnia? Chamomile and lavender. But no amount of tea would soothe heartbreak and guilt. One sip of the scalding over-steeped brew did ease his stomach a little, but his heart still ached for his mate.

He remembered a time when work really overloaded him. It stressed him out so much that it triggered some old recessed ptsd induced nightmares that woke him up. It was so bad that he couldn’t sleep and instead went into his home office on the first floor to work out. He couldn’t remember how long he was at it, but he remembered Lance tapping and opening the door with a mug filled with fragrant tea.

Lance sat down on the floor with his Alpha and offered him the cup. Shiro took the cup and inhaled the gentle slightly minty and floral scent. It took one sip to clear his foggy mind. Lance would say nothing. He just held Shiro’s hand and waited as the Alpha slowly sipped at the tea until he was ready to talk. Lance never once said a word. He just listened and kissed his Alpha’s hand to let him know he was listening. By the end, Shiro did feel better and he was finally drowsy. Lance helped his mate up and led him to bed where Keith was still fast asleep. The two of them joined their other Alpha, curled up in bed snug and warm. Shiro closed his eyes and purred when Lance kissed him on the lips and whispered “I love you no matter what happens”.

 Shiro pulled out his phone and dialed Lance’s number.

“Hi! Sorry I couldn’t catch your call, but leave a message and your number and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can!” Lance’s cheery voice was both a balm and a blister to Shiro’s heart.

“Lance, honey, it’s Shiro. I just wanted to call and see if you’re okay. I…I know its long overdue, but Keith and I…we realized we were terrible to you. We pushed you away and we regret everything we’ve ever done to hurt you. Honey, please come home soon so we can talk. Even if you don’t want to accept our apologies, please let us know you’re okay. I love you. Really, I truly do love you. I love you no matter what happens. Please take care. Call me when you get this.” Shiro tearfully left the message and hung up. He stared at the lock screen on his phone and gasped. It was a picture of him and Keith at the Garrison charity gala six months ago, both were dressed in their formal military uniforms with loving smiles on their faces. 

But…this wasn’t right, right? The last photo on his lock screen was of the three of them on New Years. Lance had ‘lost a bet’ and wore a sparkling black dress with a plunging neckline while he and Keith were dressed in black tie tuxedos. The three of them were drunk but they were together and happy. They were happy because they were together. When did he change it? Why would he change it?

“Together forever, right?” Lance would innocently ask.

“Yeah. Together forever.” Shiro repeated those two words painfully, knowing it was his fault as well as Keith’s. Together wasn’t forever. Especially when they were at fault. They had to fix this, or at least try and fix this.

Chapter Text

“... please let us know you’re okay. I love you.” Lance must have played that voicemail a hundred times. He couldn’t help but lean back and take a deep breath. A bubble of hope rose in his chest. “I love you”, Shiro said he loved him. How long has it been since he heard those three words from either of his Alphas?

It was honestly really tempting to call them. There was a solid connection since Lance just finished saying good night to his mother for the 5^th time. He already put in Shiro’s phone number, but didn’t hit the ‘call’ button. He was hesitant. He was scared. What would he say to them? What would they say to him? They’d probably call him an idiot for leaving without a word or make him feel guilty by apologizing over and over again. Just the thought of talking to them made him feel smaller and smaller, his anxiety taking a hold of him.

Lance couldn’t help but scoff. Why was he worrying about this when he already knew the answer? Shiro would be at home with Keith. The moment Shiro would pick up the phone and say Lance’s name, Keith would snatch the phone and demand answers. “Where are you?”, “Why haven’t you talked to us?”, “Don’t bother coming back! We’re happier without you!”. Just a bunch of questions that made Lance feel guilty until Shiro would chastise him and make him apologize. Keith would do it begrudgingly. The old Lance would tell him its fine and that he forgives him before filling them in on what’s been going on and when he’ll be back.

But he wasn’t the old Lance. Not anymore. The Lance now was too tired to hear excuses or forced apologies. Instead, he probably would have hung up and turned off his phone for a few days. No doubt he would be bombarded with messages and they would have been deleted without a single glance. The Lance now instead sighed. He decided not to call Shiro and hear his voice. It made him realize Shiro didn’t mean it when he said ‘I love you’. It was just a way to lure Lance back. He was not going to let Keith shout and blame him for deciding to leave for the sake of his own mental and emotional health. Even if he did miss them terribly. All he could really do is delete the voicemail. He mindlessly stared at his phone before looking at the date.

“It’s already my birthday, huh?” Lance voice shook. It was July 28^th. He had been gone for a little over five months and they finally had a stable connection for contact/messages albeit late. He hated how he wanted something that he could never have again. He wanted to them to love him. He wanted them to wish him a happy birthday. Just that. No surprises, no gifts, no special dinner, no cake, none of that.

Lance closed his eyes and remembered last year when Shiro and Keith celebrated his birthday. Or rather, when they didn’t.

Lance woke up excited. Today they were going to celebrate his birthday! Even after months of being too busy for Lance, Shiro and Keith promised they would celebrate his birthday today! Keith even said it would be extra special with breakfast in bed!

But Lance looked around and saw he was alone in bed. His smile fell. The bed was ice cold, meaning Shiro and Keith were gone for a while.

“its okay, they’re probably just making breakfast like they promised.” Lance thought hopefully. He laid in bed a bit longer, staring at the door too hopefully. Thirty minutes turned to an hour. And hour turned to two.

Lance looked at the clock and saw he has an hour to get ready before his shift started. Done feeding himself false hope, he hopped out of bed. Maybe they couldn’t bring him breakfast in bed. But again, his hopes were dashed. The kitchen was spotless save for two used mugs of coffee sitting next to the sink. The doorway was free of their work boots meaning they had already left for base.

“It’s fine,” Lance thought hopefully, “We’ll celebrate tonight anyways. They promised.” Lance got ready for the day and left for base as well.

All day , Lance had not seen his mates once. While he was happy everyone wished him a happy birthday, some even giving him gifts and cards, it stung that his mates couldn’t even text him that much.

By the time he got home, he was once again alone. He slipped into the kitchen to make a cup of tea when he saw a single cupcake still in its plastic container with an unlit candle taped to the top. No note, no card, no indication who it was from.

Lance felt a bubble of hope in his chest seeing the small treat. Once his tea was done brewing, Lance sat down and nibbled on the mini cake. He grimaced when the sharp sour taste of lemon and the cloyingly sweet taste of poorly baked meringue flooded his mouth. Something about that cupcake just broke him. Tears fell down his cheeks, hurt and disappointed with his mates. They didn’t forget. They just chose not to keep their promises. And to top it all off, they gave him a cupcake that tasted like lemon meringue. The cupcake was hardly eaten when Lance decided he would go to bed. Just as he was about to go upstairs, the front door opened. Both Keith and Shiro looked angry and exhausted.

“Hey, how was wo---” Keith cut Lance off before he finished his question.

“I don’t want to talk alright?” Keith kicked off his boots and stormed into the kitchen. Lance looked to Shiro but Shiro turned his head away and followed Keith. Lance could only hold his tongue and fight back the tears. Another broken promise, another day of wasted hope.

“It’s fine. Its just a stupid birthday. Liars. They don’t even miss me.” Lance mumbled to himself and sobbed into his pillow.

He was dead wrong.

Back on Earth, Shiro was miserable. It was the worst he’s felt in so long. Hell, being in the gladiator pit was better than this. Lance hadn’t called him back in months and it was stressing the Alpha out a lot. It didn’t help that Keith was somber and melancholy since they learned they were the cause of Lance’s departure. The Blade leader was losing weight from not eating and his eyes were heavy with dark circles from the severe lack of sleep. They almost looked like bruises. He even opted for desk duty because he was so lethargic and sluggish from the self-loathing and depression.

Not like Shiro was any better. He wasn’t eating much either. Most of his meals were from the Garrison canteen which was either too bland or too salty, not like the delicious hot food Lance would make for them with love and a smile. Everything was just ashes in his mouth and the stress of losing Lance killed whatever appetite he had. Shiro was somewhat able to sleep at night, but often woke up in the middle of the night drenched in a cold sweat and his head plagued with nightmares. Unlike Keith who didn’t know how to handle Shiro’s nightmares well, Lance would hold Shiro close to his chest and like a human dreamcatcher. With Lance, Shiro would sleep peacefully while clinging onto his beautiful loving mate. In the morning, he would wake up to Lance still holding him securely in his arms and it was those moments where Shiro allowed himself to relax and be perfectly at ease. Not anymore.

The nightmares were getting worse and worse. But it wasn’t from his time as a Galra prisoner, but here on Earth. He dreamed of Lance and the pain done to him. The pain he caused. Especially that punch. God, Shiro regretted that more than anything. It was so much different than the times in the gladiator arenas. There, he had to do anything to survive which meant his opponent had to die. But Lance wasn’t his opponent, he wasn’t an enemy or captive forced to fight. Lance was his mate, his love, the second half of his heart and soul. He regretted it so much that he was too scared to even touch Lance. He traumatized himself so much that even when Lance was the one reaching out to hold his hand, Shiro wouldn’t let him. Why would Lance, sweet beautiful Lance, want to hold the hand that hurt him? And why couldn’t he tell Lance why instead of pushing him away?

The lack of response that day haunts Shiro like a ghost. It was like Lance was used to being hurt but Shiro definitely knew that was the first and only time he had laid a hand on his mate. Worse is that in his nightmares, he was the one hurting Lance. Over and over again, Shiro was hitting, choking, berating, and killing Lance. He was a monster in his nightmares and he felt like a monster in his waking hours.

It killed him inside knowing that today was Lance’s birthday. Lance was 25, eight years since they first met and became defenders of the universe. six years of being mates. And now he was gone to God knows where and they didn’t know if he would even come back.

Shiro remembered the last time they celebrated his birthday.

Keith and Shiro had made such grand promises to Lance. They had planned everything perfectly. They would make him breakfast in bed and spend the morning together as a pack. After work, they would take Lance out to his favorite restaurant and shower him with gifts as he rightfully deserved. After dinner, they would have dessert at home and then hopefully have a night of intimacy.

But life was a bitch.

Both Shiro and Keith got called into work earlier than normal which meant no time to make breakfast for Lance nor even lay with him in bed. They gently kissed him and whispered a happy birthday to him before rushing to leave for work.

It was a nightmare. There was so much paperwork that they could barely leave their offices. So much that they had to use their lunch breaks to catch up. And then finally they managed to get a break. Both Alphas checked to see if their dinner plans were still solid. It wasn’t. The restaurant lost their reservations. Shiro was normally a patient man, but with the day already ruined and the ever growing headache he had from work, he just could not control his temper. He lashed out his frustrations and all the restaurant could do was apologize and offer another date free of charge and with extras on the house. It wasn’t good enough. Tonight was Lance’s birthday! They rarely had days off that lined up together and today was supposed to be a rare day where they could get off work early so they could celebrate! Now the Alphas scrambled to find anywhere else for Lance’s birthday. Call after call, every decent restaurant in town was booked. They called the local less fancy places in town, but everything was just as packed. And they were not  going anywhere with a wait time for two hours.  They couldn’t even be able to go to a pub Lance likes.

Then there was the cake. That goddamn cake. Keith had ordered a four layered chocolate cake with hand crafted sugar flowers and candied strawberries. He even had a modeling chocolate sculpture of Blue and Red for the cake. He had ordered it two months in advance just to make sure it was available on time. When Keith sped to pick up the cake, the store was just about to close. He explained he had an order he was picking up, but no one knew what he was talking about. When the receipt was pulled, the bakers and owners gasped. They had his cake, but they didn’t realize it was a special order. They had sold that cake by the slice earlier that day. Not only did Keith blow up in their faces (he waited two months for that cake and cost him almost $200), he damn near cried. Who cares if he got a refund and credit for a free replacement? Who cares if they apologized for their mistake? It was Lance’s birthday and they wanted it to be special.

Keith and Shiro drove all over town, even to the neighboring towns, to get at least something sweet for Lance. All they were able to get their hands on was an oversized cupcake left over from a grocery store’s bakery. Defeated and upset, they went home and placed the cupcake down on the table. Hopefully they could have a chance to apologize for the lack of celebration.

But of course, duty called again. They had to rush back to work and finish where they left off. That was another five hours. By the time they were done, it was close to 10pm. And when they did get home, Lance was about to go upstairs to bed.

“How was wo---” Lance asked tiredly. But still angry from the earlier events, Keith snapped at Lance.

“I don’t want to talk, okay?” Keith snapped but instantly regretted it seeing the look on Lance’s face. Ashamed, Keith just stormed off into the kitchen.

Shiro felt just as ashamed. All of the promises were his idea. And everything fell through. When Lance looked at him, he was expecting his Omega to be angry. Ashamed, Shiro turned his head and ran away like a coward.

Shiro found Keith braced against the dinner table with his head down and his shoulders shaking. He approached his younger mate and rubbed his back in comfort. On the table was a cup of cold tea and the cupcake with a single bite taken out of it. That’s when it hit him. The cupcake was a lemon meringue cupcake. Lance hates lemon meringue.

“If today gets any worse, I’m gonna kill myself!” Keith growled and hit his fist on the table.

“Don’t say that, Keith. Come on. Let’s go to bed and we’ll talk to Lance in the morning.” Too ashamed and embarrassed, Keith and Shiro slept in the guest room, too cowardly to even approach their Omega. They never realized that all Lance wanted was his Alphas.

They never did get a chance to explain to Lance. He refused to listen to their excuses.

If they had just talk to Lance before all this, maybe he’d still be here with them. The very least they owed him was an apology for everything.

Back somewhere deep in space, Lance was abruptly woken up by an overeager J’Dalah who had shouted and shook the former paladin awake.

“Holy Crow, dude!!! Don’t scare me like that!!” Lance panted and clutched his chest.

“Forgive me! But Her majesty informed me that today is your birthing day! Is that true?” the historian looked like he had seen stars for the first time.

“Birthing day? You mean my birthday?” Lance’s breathing finally calmed.

“Birthday? That is the day one celebrates their birth, yes?” J’Dalah asked curiously.

“Yeah. Today’s my 25^th birthday. Why?” Lance asked.

“Come! We must go to the bridge at once! Hurry!” J’Dalah grabbed Lance’s hand and with a surprising amount of force coming from such a small Altean, Lance was hauled out of bed and struggled to keep up with the Altean historian. Whatever question Lance had was answered with “you’ll see”.

By the time they got to the door leading to the bridge, Lance was bracing himself on his knees and catching his breath. Unaware of the former Paladin’s exhaustion, J’Dalah opened the doors and suddenly there was a roar of cheers and clapping. Everyone who wasn’t on Oriande gather with great smiles on their faces and tossing confetti like debris in the air.

“HAPPY BIRTHING DAY, PALADIN LANCE!!” all of them shouted in unison, even if they got the word ‘birthday’ wrong.

“Wha….what is all this?” Lance choked up.

“Isn’t it true on Earth birthing days are special? It isn’t much, but we wanted to pray you a happy birthing day. That’s how its done on Earth, right?” A pink haired Altean asked.

“Yeah. It is. Thank you. But why?” Lance smiled gratefully.

“On Earth, its true you celebrate the people you admire and love, yes? After everything you’ve done for us during the war, this is the least we could do for you, Paladin Lance. Because of you we’re here, alive and well.” Another Altean explained wholeheartedly.

“We love you, Paladin Lance!!”

“Happy Birthing day, Paladin Lance!”

“Thank you, Paladin Lance!”

The holoscreen lit up and the royal couple along with members of the expedition on Oriande were on screen with smiles on their faces. Just like here on the ship, there were Alteans throwing flower petals in the air like confetti.

“Hello, Lance!” Allura greeted happily.

“’Llura? Did you tell everyone today was my birthday?” Lance chuckled and wiped a tear from his eye.

“Of course! Today is special!” Allura proudly spoke.

The next thing he knew, he was lifted by Bhezerax and placed on his shoulders as people began singing their traditional birthday songs to him. It was nice. More than nice. It made him really happy. Skarinil and Pseldal presented Lance a plate of food goo that was neon pink in color and vaguely shaped like a cake on Earth with what looked like a makeshift candle on top.

“We apologize. We do not have the means to make…keek is it call?” Skarinil looked to Pseldal.

“I believe it was called Kerk?” Pseldal hummed.

“It’s called cake. And this is amazing. Thank you both.” Lance sniffled. Everyone continued singing as Lance made a wish.

“I wish…I wish I can get over Shiro and Keith. I wish I had never loved them.” Lance silently wished and blew out the candle.

Chapter Text

PLEASE, I am begging all of you, PLEASE STOP ASKING FOR AN UPDATE!!!! 

Please don't get me wrong, I am so honored and grateful that so many people are enjoying my first fanfic in years. I mean, 13,000+ hits in about a month and a half? I never would have thought that would happen! You guys are so kind with the kudos and comments and subscriptions and it's so validating to see so much support for what I think is not the best writing.

That being said, no, I am not abandoning it, it is not on a hiatus, it's a matter of a bunch of factors. One of the most prolific ones is "Okay, I know what events I am going to put in the story and how it's going to end, but it's a matter of the finer details and transitioning A to B to C and so on coherently". Another factor is that I want to work on other stories I'm writing. The absolute BIGGEST factor is time. I don't always have time to write and when I do, its not for very long.

Constantly hearing demands for updates (both nicely and aggressively) is making it more stressful than it already is to work on this piece because I feel like I have to finish as soon as possible rather than go at my own pace when the time is available for me to write and edit.

Yes, there is a bit of writer's block. No, I am not taking suggestions on how to write this piece of work. For now, I'd like to focus other works both sfw and nsfw. Some of which have been in production LONG before this one was even concepted and are close to being finished and uploaded.

I'm sorry if I sound angry, I'm not. I'm just really tired and really frustrated. I felt that it needed to be said because asking for updates is a double edged sword. The story will update when it updates. I'm sorry for the delays but updates are not going to be consistent. I would LIKE to upload another chapter by the end of next week but there's no guarantee of that.

Chapter Text

It’s been two months since Lance’s birthday. As much as Lance’s heart still aches, he’s been doing a lot better. His anxiety has reduced significantly since being a part of this expedition and he’s built strong ties with everyone on board.

Everyone…except Pseldal.

Pseldal had tried courting Lance in accordance to Earth courtship customs a little while back. Gift giving, showing off his skills and prowess, even (inappropriately) inviting Lance to mate with him. Of course, Lance said no. After all, he was still hurt from his previous partners. Also, he did not want to sleep with him. While Pseldal accepted that Lance was not ready for a new relationship, it caused a bit of a rift between the two colleagues. The half-galran was civil and courteous, but it was clear he was more than upset by Lance’s rejection and only interacted when absolutely necessary.

It…it honestly reminded Lance of Keith. Keith was never good with communicating his feelings. More often that not, he wouldn’t tell Lance what was bothering him and would lead to long periods of the cold shoulder from the fiery hearted Paladin. Thankfully, Bhezerax acted like a mediator and reassured Lance not to worry.

“Pseldal is half Unolytoxim, a race known for their great and almost arrogant pride. He must not be used to rejection.” the kind hearted Galra gave Lance a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

“It’s okay. He just...he reminds me of someone I used to be close with. That’s all.” Lance rubbed his arm in a coping way.

“That bad?” Bhezerax inquired.

“I…don’t know. I think a better word is ‘conflicting’.” Lance sadly corrected.

Before Bhezerax could comfort the former paladin, word reached to everyone that the expedition team has returned from their latest journey. Taking this opportunity to bounce, Lance led his new galra friend to the ship bay. Like those who weren’t chosen to go to Oriande, Lance scrubbed his hand clean and dawned on sterile gloves and a mask and helped haul the artifacts from the ships to the decontamination chambers while those hopping off the ships were briefly sanitized before heading straight for the same chambers.

The first to leave the decontamination chambers was J’dalal. In fact, he ran full speed in search for Lance. And boy, did he find him. The half-Altean barreled into Lance, knocking both of them over as the Altean historian spoke animatedly about the things he’s experienced on Oriande. Quite honestly, Lance could barely make heads or tails of what J’dalal was saying. Was it from the whiplash? Was it from the historian speaking way too fast? Likely both. Lance couldn’t help but see the similarities between J’dalal and his nephew when he’s on a sugar high or their old pet yorkie when someone rang the doorbell.

“Oh! Before I forget! Their Majesties would like your help in recording the artifacts we were permitted to take and study!” J’dalal remembered.

The historian and paladin walked together to the ship bay where they were met with others not chosen for the direct archaeological journey. They talked about their homes and their curiousities about Earth which Lance happily answered as many questions as they could.

Before they knew it, they were just outside the doors leading to the ship docking bay. They were assigned into teams before being allowed entry to the bay. Lance scoured the bay and saw dozens of Alteans unloading ships of their precious cargo. He couldn’t help but smile seeing Lotor help Allura out of their ship and kissing her hand sweetly. What a cheesy gentleman he was.

“Allura!” Lance called out and approached Neo-Altea’s queen.

“Lance! Oh, it’s so nice to see you again! Thank you for agreeing to help.” Allura opened her arms and gave her dear friend a tight hug.

“Of course, I wouldn’t be here otherwise. Buuut I think my first step in helping you is making some coffee.” Lance joked upon seeing the heavy dark circles under Allura’s eyes.

“Oh, that would be wonderful.” Allura sighed longingly. Much like milkshakes (before she knew what they were made of), Allura was introduced to the stimulating elixir and instantly loved it. She loved it even more knowing it did not come from an animal, much less their…other…body parts. Heck, Allura borderline craved the bitter drink, too.

“You want it as sweet as me or as sweet as you?” Lance winked. A little joke the two shared.

“As bitter as my husband, if you don’t mind.” Allura joked back. Both of them laughed when from a distance, Lotor turned to them with an indignant expression on his face.

“To be fair, dude, she also likes it as HOT as you!” Lance chortled and waved finger guns at the Altean king before turning back to Allura, “Any sugar and/or milk?”

“NO MILK!” Allura shouted in horror before clearing her throat and quickly composing herself when she realized Alteans looked at her and her sudden outburst, “J-just two sugars will be fine. Thank you Lance.”

“Two sugars it is. I’ll bring some for the crew, too.” Lance had completely forgotten that he was the one who ruined dairy milk for Allura and Coran.

Thanks to Allura’s borderline obsession with the Earth drink, the ship was stocked with roasted coffee beans of varying types. She was so enamoured by the bitter gold that their stock was sealed with Allura’s personal seal making it as valuable as refined quintessence or as gold is to Earthlings. Lance brewed a large amount of coffee and some sugar cubes they had stocked to accompany the coffee beans and brought it to the room. The deep rich scent emanating from the pots were like a siren’s song; luring the room’s occupants to its intoxicating scent.

With cups of the stimulating brew in hands, Allura ran through the procedures on how to clean and record their findings. A few questions were asked and answered before everyone went to their stations. J’dalal was buzzing around like a busy bee helping others walkthrough what they did not quite understand what to do. That and he’s never had coffee until now.

Meanwhile Lance was working with several Alteans with what looked like a a large canopic jar from Ancient Egypt. It even had a Lion’s head carved on the lid. The jar itself was roughly the size of Lance’s torso and appeared to look like terra cotta colored cloudy marble with flecks of something sparkly. It was also much lighter than anyone thought it would be. So light, in fact, that Lance was able to lift it up with one hand easily. An Altean on his team scanned it.

Thanks to a combination of Altean, Galra, and Olkarion tech, they were able to vaguely see what was inside without damaging the object. It was  sort of like Earth’s ultrasound or x-ray technology but the image was clearer and without the need for lead protection. They found that the jar was mostly empty save for some sort of strangely shaped opaque mass inside. Everyone on Lance’s team were very curious as to why this large and ornate jar was completely sealed with nearly nothing inside.

Slowly and carefully, Lance and an Altean (Jyneerah was her name) began taking detailed photos of the inscription that covered the jar while the other two Alteans (Sheil and Hilva their names were) got to work painstakingly shaving off the ancient clay seal that covered the rim of the jar. J’dalal offered to help translate the ancient inscriptions when they heard someone violently retch.

Everyone looked and saw Skarinil hunched over, holding her stomach and mouth. She was gagging, drooling, and coughing profusely with whatever it was irritating her eyes to tears. She wasn’t the only one. The other Voxzi-Alteans were also gagging and nearly vomiting. Others began to question why it was only the Voxzi that were afflicted when it finally hit them.

The Voxzi people were highly acclaimed for their almost mythological sense of smell. So it was only natural they would smell something others had not yet to smell. Although many were only half-Voxzi, it was no wonder they were suffering.

It. Smelled. TERRIBLE. In fact, it smelled so bad that no words or phrases in any dictionary, thesaurus, encyclopedia in any language, planet, solar system, galaxy, universe, or even an alternate timeline could describe how foul the smell was! The closest thing the smell could be compared to was death. Foul, rotting, traumatizing death.

The smell began to make people panic. And it quickly escalated. That panic turned to hysteria and no one noticed where the smell was coming from until some saw Skarinil pointed out the source. It was coming from Lance’s station; from the jar. Weirdly enough, Lance didn’t smell anything at all. Everyone chalked it up to him being human rather than an alien so it was up to him to seal back the jar with anything so long as the stench didn’t leak out any more. But apparently Lance wasn’t quick enough. One Altean (stupidly) tried to snatch the jar out of Lance’s hands to cover the smell himself. In turn, that led to Lance losing his balance and dropped the artifact on the cold metallic ground.

It didn’t shatter the jar like Lance feared, but it did break apart the seal and pop the lid open just enough to release more of the noxious stench and even worse, release an extremely fine cloud of a green colored dust. A cloud so fine  that Lance ended up accidentally inhaling some of the dust. Everyone began screaming, gagging, and running to the exit while some bravely ran to Lance and offer help.  

Lance didn’t know what he inhaled but whatever it was, it stung. It felt like he has inhaled glass and chlorine bleach at the same time; burning his throat and eyes. It was difficult to breathe and it felt like his throat was swelling shut. Lance ripped the mask off his face and was soon thrown into a painful coughing fit while he flailed and groped around to steady himself on anything he could wrap his fingers around. A couple Alteans bravely approached him, helping him to his feet while trying to hold back their gags.

Finally, someone was lucid enough to hit the emergency filtration button. The fans roared to life as the foul smelling dust was sucked up and out into the filters to be disposed of later on. Lance was still coughing, drooling, and weeping from the exposed whatever-that-stuff-was and the Alteans helped steady him while samples of the dust that still clung to his clothes were collected for analysis before being stripped of all their clothing and doused with a sterile decontamination liquid.

Once wrapped in a towel, Lance was half-carried to the medical bay where he stepped into a cryopod to find out what he had inhaled and if it was harmful to his body. Lance forgot how many times he’s gone into this thing during the war and no matter how many times he had gotten in it, he’ll never get used to it.

As the name implied, it was freezing cold. Even colder since Lance was still dripping wet with a sanitizer. But for once, Lance was glad it was freezing in this thing. He wasn’t sure if it was from what he inhaled or the sudden panic, but he was burning up and feeling feverish. The fine cold mist was a more-than-welcome balm to his stinging and burning throat. Quickly, Lance grew drowsy and let himself fall asleep, knowing that Allura and the expedition’s medical staff will find out what was it he took into his body and find out how to get rid of it. Last thing Lance saw was Allura’s caring and worried expression on her face.

While Allura was working with the medical team help Lance and others who might have inhaled the fine powder, Lotor and his teams were looking into the samples they collected. Everyone was now dressed in air tight suits used to prevent any more pathogens from entering their bodies and the ship bay was turned into a makeshift lab. They sealed the foul-smelling jar in an airtight container before wheeling it to Lotor. The only samples they collected outside of the contained box was from Lance’s clothing. That was quickly brought to Lotor’s team of scientists to examine and document for later research.

Many fretted over their king who wanted to personally examine the jar and its contents. But Lotor ignored their pleas. Whether out of scientific curiousity or worry for his friend, Lotor swore to find what was in this jar.

The sealed jar was placed into a larger box, similar to an incubation box found in Earth hospitals. There were gloves already attached to the box which would allow Lotor to safely open the box containing the offending jar without it coming into direct contact with him. Lotor took out his data pad and hit record.

“Expedition log 793-XV-970. Time is 01600 AUTC. King Lotor of Neo-Altea logging in. I am examining a marble-like jar found in Zone-8, 17 Earth meters from the ruins Expedition Team Vox found. The jar is labeled as ‘artifact 2861’ which is a large jar with a lion’s head lid with ancient and faded inscription carved into the body. Base Team-5 were recording the inscriptions and removing the seal when an indescribable foul smell emanated from the seams. Another leak occurred when the jar was accidentally dropped. Although the jar itself remains undamaged, the clay like seal was broken off and the lid was  removed albeit partially from the drop. In addition to the same foul smell, a fine green colored dust/powder flew airborne and accidentally entered Base Team-5 member Lance Serrano of Earth’s body. Known symptoms as of now, but not limited to, were watery eyes, difficulty breathing, stinging and burning sensation of the throat, nose, and eyes, and severe nausea. Currently the medical team is running an analysis on Lance’s condition and log will be updated when more information is available.” Lotor carefully logged as he slipped his arms into the sterile gloves of the box and opening both the other box inside and carefully rubbing the seal off the jar and its lid.

“So far no smell or debris has breached the incubation box. Portions of the seal have been obtained and collected for further examination.” Lotor continued to carefully chip away at the seal that still remained on the jar. Painstakingly slowly, Lotor wiggled and pried the lid off the jar.

“It is currently 01622 AUTC and I have successfully opened artifact 2867. Pouring the contents I am finding a copious amount of the aforementioned dust or powder and…” Lotor instantly pulled his hands out of the gloves and took several steps back, his pallor suddenly pale and unwell.

Lotor gagged at what he saw and steeled himself to continu his information log, “Excuse me, contents of the jar appear to be the fine aforementioned powder and…and…mummified remains of what appear to be a severed hand. I-it’s difficult to tell the sex, age, or species of the hand, but judging from the appearance, it is unlikely to be Altean. Further analysis will be conducted on a later date. End of log 793-XV-970.”

The data pad was turned off and Lotor sealed away the samples he collected to be sanitized for further research. He scrubbed his hands raw and clean but could not stop them from shaking. He’s seen a lot of ugly things in the war. Quiznak, he was the cause of some of the ugly things in the war. But this hand…this reptilian/insectoid looking hand. Something about it just gave him goosebumps and made his hands itch and itch.

Who did this belong to? Why was it detached from its body? Where was its body? Why was it in a sealed jar? What was the powder? Why did it smell like that? Why was Lance unaffected by the smell? And most importantly, was it harmful to people?

More and more questions ran through Lotor’s head. He knew the more questions he asked, the less answers he’d get. And whatever answer he would get would scare him, his wife, his people, and his friends. His mind wandered to a story Lance told him a few years back. An ancient story that’s lesson was still used as an idiom to this day. The story of a woman’s unbearable curiousity that led to unleashing terrible ills and evils onto the world.

Lotor prayed to the Altean and Galra ancients he did not unleash that evil onto his people for his quest for knowledge.

Chapter Text

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO NOW!?” Lance had to pull his phone away from his face lest he go deaf in both ears from Pidge’s screaming.

“Ah yes, I’m doing quite alright. Thank you for asking and checking on my health and well being, Katie.” Lance rolled his eyes.

“Hey! Don’t get snarky with me, Serrano! That’s my shtick.” Pidge narrowed her gaze at her best friend. “But seriously though, are you okay?”

“To everyone’s surprise, including my own, I’m doing pretty okay. The cryopod didn’t find anything abnormal. But J’dalal went into full research mode and found out that whatever it was I inhaled turned out to be some ground herbs. Everyone who wasn’t actually excavating in Oriande are looking deeper into the herbs and what they could have been used for. Info’s kinda limited like that.” Lance explained from his bedroom.

“So why are you in your room and not with the others? Are you quarantined!? Why did that stuff stink for everyone but you? And why does your voice sound like that? Are you sick?! Were you poisoned!?” Hunk leaned his face into the camera and asked with worry and panic.

“No, Hunky Monkey. I am not quarantined, I am not sick, and I am not poisoned. Allura and Lotor both agreed that I need some rest as well as a few more blood tests to ensure I am alright. As for why that stuff stunk for everyone, we have to remember that humans aren’t exactly known for our sense of smell. And if you inhaled thousands of years old herbs unknown to the human body AND had to get your throat swabbed and nose 50 million times, you’d sound like you have laryngitis as well.” Lance playfully shook his head.

“He’s got a point, you know.” Pidge nodded to Hunk. Hunk’s worried expression was mirrored onto her own face. “But seriously, let us know as soon as fucking possible if you aren’t feeling well. Tell Allura or Lotor and have them relay the message to us, okay?”

“Awww, Pidgeon pie you do care~!” Lance made kissy faces at the former green paladin. In turn, Pidge comically retched and ran off screen, shouting “never in a million years or a million alternate realities!”

Both Hunk and Lance laughed are Pidge’s comical exit. With her out of the way (knowing how violent she can get), Hunk got down to the brass tacks. It was a conversation Lance knew was coming. Even though Hunk was Lance’s ride or die, he was also a peacekeeper. He always wanted things resolved civilly, even with Keith and Shiro being neglectful Alphas. They had to at the very least work together at the Garrison. But the thing about Hunk was that sometimes he could make things a bit…worse.

“Seriously though, how are you feeling?” Hunk sighed.

“I already told you, my guy, I’m fine. A few days rest and I’ll back to my old tip top shape.” Lance jokingly flexed his muscular arms.

“Dude, you know what I mean.” Hunk crossed his arms. “You can’t be in space forever.”

“Watch me.” Lance glared. Hunk was going into mother hen mode and just the implication was raising Lance’s blood pressure and anxiety.

“Lance.” Hunk chastised and took a deep exasperated breath, “We’re all worried about you. And you still have a job here on Earth at the garrison! You also still live with them!”

“You think they’re home enough to even think that’s their house anymore?” Lance scoffed and looked away from his best friend.

“I’m serious Lance.” Hunk frowned.

“So am I!” Lance growled, startling the Beta.

“The very least you can do is break up with them properly! They’re driving everyone crazy with their moping!” Hunk groaned in frustration.

“They already did, remember?” Lance pulled down his shirt collar and showed off the no-longer-existant bond marks.

“Lance, seriously. This isn’t a joke. Just break up with them, make it clear you want nothing to do with them romantically or platonically! And do it soon!” Hunk urged.

“Hunk, regardless of what you ask of me, the answer is still the same. And if they’re moping around, good. Maybe now they know how I felt when they always left me behind for each other. But unlike me, they have each other.” Lance sharply inhaled and fought to hold back his tears.

“Lance, you have to be the bigger person in this. You know this isn’t fair, Lance. To any of you.” Hunk scowled.

“And who are you to tell me that!?” Lance couldn’t help but laugh through the tears, “Who. The. Fuck. Are you to tell me what’s fair and what isn’t when it comes to mates!? Last I checked, you couldn’t even ask Shay out on a date after how many years of dancing around it?! And you’re telling me to stop beating around the bush? They didn’t even notice I was gone until what? Three fucking weeks later!? You’ve never felt what I felt! You have no idea what it feels like to be promised love only to lose it because you’re annoying and clingy and needy! You’ve never felt like a burden to the people you gave your heart to! You’ve never clung onto that shriveling scrap of hope thinking ‘this time, they’ll love me just like they promised’. You’ve never have one of them lie to your face and hit you! You’ve never been accused of lying about your whereabouts! You’ve never ONCE felt what it’s like to have your mate not trust you! Don’t fucking pretend to care about me when you’re taking their side!”

“Lance, I’m no---” Lance refused to listen any more. He hung up on Hunk and threw his phone at the wall, frustrated and feeling even more betrayed than before.

But Hunk was right. He knew Hunk was right. Lance had literally ran away from his problem rather than confronting it. He’s been running away for a little over half a year now. But at the same time, Hunk was wrong. Lance wasn’t ready to face them yet. He knew that if he spoke to them now or soon, he’d fall head over heels for their flowery apologies and sickeningly sweet proclamations of love to him. And that’s if it was the best case scenario. Hell, Lance could probably fall in love with them and destroy himself trying to gain their attention only to cling even more desperately to that false hope he strangled for years.

Lance winced when he felt that sharp pang of longing in his chest. No matter how angry he was, he missed them. He knew he shouldn’t, but he did. He remembered the last time he was ordered strict bed rest.

It wasn’t a big deal in Lance’s opinion. It was just a case of the flu. A case that left him shivering from chills with a 100 degree fever, nausea, a painfully sore throat, a badly congested nose, terrible headaches, and body aches. Oh yeah, he had the full 9 yards of flu symptoms.

While it wasn’t a big deal for him, it was for Shiro and Keith. After all, they  were the ones who gave it to him after he spent two weeks off taking care of them. It was only right to return the favor as well as do what Alphas do: take care of their mates.

For the entire time Lance was sick, Keith and Shiro delegated their work to ensure they were home feeding, bathing, medicating, and comforting their precious Omega. Lance kept urging them not to worry about him, but they couldn’t help it. He was scented, kissed (not anywhere near the mouth), cuddled, and loved and the soothing sound of their combined growls lulled Lance into the most rested sleep he’s ever had.

Lance was so happy he was loved by the men he loved with all his heart. He wouldn’t give this up even if God himself tried to.

“What a fucking pipe dream.” Lance bitterly laughed and staggered to the bathroom to wash his face of his tears. He looked himself in the mirror and stared bitterly at his bare neck.

He gave them his heart, his soul, his life and they had the nerve to neglect him, abuse him, abandon him. So what if they were miserable? So what if they were sad and regretful?  Good. They deserved it! They deserved to have a small taste of what Lance went through for fucking years. Just the memories of the neglect cast upon him made his blood boil and his headache pulse. He felt more and more anger and stress course through his veins recalling every awful thing his so-called mates had done to him. It was satisfying hearing Hunk tell him they were moping depressed and sorry forms of their former selves.

“Good. I hope their grief kills them. They can drop dead for all I care!” Lance snarled at the mirror in front of him.

• wait? Kill?? Drop dead???

Lance gasped and snapped out of it. He jumped back like his own reflection was going to jump out and grab him. The image of his snarling, angry and almost demonic expression was startling to say the least.

Kill? Sure, Lance was angry at his former mates for what they did to him, but he didn’t want them to die over it! He just wanted them to have a taste of what he went through and move on away from them. But it was so weird. Thinking about Shiro and Keith…it made him feel like…like a completely different person. An ugly angry person. Okay, so his sadness and grief may have shifted more towards anger and pettiness lately, but to wish death on them? He’s never done that before, not even when he was still a paladin fighting against Honerva, Zarkon, and Sendak!

“What the crow is happening to me?” Lance asked bewildered and confused.

“Lance?” a knock rapped on the door followed by Allura’s worried tone.

“I-it’s open!” Lance called out and patted his face dry, “Hey, ‘Llura! What’s up?”

“I thought I’d check on you. How are you feeling after the incident?” Allura politely greeted.

“Not so great. Hunk…is urging me to break up with them properly. Like right away.” Lance rolled his eyes and sighed tiredly.

“You should, but on your own time.” Allura placed a comforting hand on Lance’s shoulder. “Though, Shiro and Keith have been contacting me lately.”

“What?” Lance’s voice dropped an octave and dripped with malice.

“They’ve been asking if I’ve seen you lately.” Allura answered, unaware of the venom dripping from Lance’s voice.

Without any warning, a tight pain shot through Allura’s wrist and neck. A massive force pushed her roughly out of Lance’s room and slammed her back into the wall in the corridor. The Queen could barely breathe seeing familiar yet unfamiliar blue eyes practically glowing with rage and small yet incredibly sharp fangs were bared at her. She tried prying Lance’s hand off her neck while she gagged and choked.

“Did you tell them!?” Lance snarled dangerously.

“L-Lance!?” Allura gasped.

“DID YOU TELL THOSE BASTARDS WHERE I WAS!?” Lance screamed and slammed Allura into the wall.

“N-No! No, of course I didn’t!” Allura answered fearfully.

“LIAR!! Don’t fucking lie to me! I swear if you told them where I am, I’m gonna…!” Lance released Allura’s wrist and raised his hand. Allura was so shocked at what was happening she couldn’t react at the hand came closer and closer to her face.

“LANCE!!” Lotor’s voice suddenly snapped Lance out of his rage.

Allura watched her husband catch Lance’s hand and twist it behind Lance’s back, eliciting pained yelps out of the former paladin. Allura pleaded with her husband to release Lance but Lotor did not yield. If anything, he twisted Lance’s wrist more

“’L-Llura?? What…what just happened?” Lance panted and asked in utter confusion.

“You tell me! I trusted you, Lance! I trusted you not to hurt my wife!” Lotor snarled.

“Wha-what are you talking…” Lance looked up and saw Allura’s neck and wrist were bruised, “O-oh God…D-Dios, did I? Allura, did I hurt you?”

Neither royals understood what was going on. One minute Lance was his usual self, the next he was like a beast that’s gone berserk, and then he’s back to his normal albeit panicked and scared self. Upon realizing that this was indeed a truly honest and bizarre accident. Lance curled up on himself as tears tread down his cheeks and whimpers of apologies gasped past his lips. Allura reached to comfort her dear friend, but Lance flinched at her touch as if he was burned by her.

“Allura, I-I’m sorry! I-I don’t know what came over me! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to! I swear, I didn’t mean to hurt you!! I’m so sorry, Allura!” Lance curled in on himself and wept hysterically, remorseful of hurting one of his closest friends.

Allura hushed the Omega and brought him into her arms, repeatedly telling him that it was alright and she forgave him. Even with her assuring and forgiving words, Lance continued to apologize and try ot make himself smaller and smaller.

Both husband and wife looked to each other in bewilderment and confusion. Lotor helped both of them up and ushered Lance back to his room. Stress wasn’t good for Lance especially after that artifact incident. Although it was confirmed the powdery substance was confirmed to be ancient herbs, there could possibly still be affects that an Earth human could not handle.

Lotor took some of Lance’s vitals just to be safe. Blood pressure and heart rate were higher than what he would have like to see, but he chalked it up as the sudden surge of stress as well as Lance’s fight or flight reaction. Both of them watched as Lance laid down as ordered by Allura and instantly fall asleep.

They left to allow Lance to rest in peace before going down the corridor and reviewing Lance’s vitals once more. Everything was relatively normal minus his blood pressure and heart rate. So what made him go berserk like that?

“All I did was mention Shiro and Keith and how they tried asking me if I had seen Lance.” Allura rubbed her temple.

“You said no, right?” Lotor held his wife close.

“Of course! I’d never let them near Lance after what they did to him! But…the look in Lance’s eyes. It was like a completely different person.” Allura reassured her husband. Lotor pondered for a moment and then it dawned on him.

“Darling, go get treated for your bruises! I’m going to the lab!” Lotor ordered.

“W-what!? Why?!”

“That jar was sealed for a reason. We’ve seen that reaction before!” Lotor vaguely mentioned.

“No…y-you don’t think…” Allura gasped in horror.

“It’s not confirmed, but it’s not out of the possibilities. But that herb Lance accidentally inhaled could contain corrupted quintessence.”

Just the thought of that awful substance returning sent a fearful chill down both their spines.

Chapter Text

While Lance was recovering from his sudden volatile outburst, Allura and Lotor got to work on what that strange powder truly contained. Loyal subjects and allies who saw Allura’s wounds fretted and worried as to what happened to their queen, but Allura spoke vaguely and claimed there was a…minor…accident. No one would ever think that it was the cheery  and friendly former Blue/Red Paladin. Though, Allura could only guess that the outburst was because of Shiro and Keith’s names being mentioned and how they still wanted Lance, so it was soon ordered by both King and Queen that no one mentioned the former Black Paladins by name or their relationship to Lance. Those who disobeyed this order would face severe consequences. Of course, it was an empty threat and in truth no one would be harshly punished by their fair and just monarchs, but they didn’t know that nor did they need to.

Lotor was scouring through every available resource he had at his disposal. There wasn’t much other than what historical and cultural information he had copied onto his data pad, but it was better than nothing. But luckily he had access to the most crucial data source involving Altean customs with the press of a button. The most valuable resource of them all was none than the man of a million facts and even more quips. Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe, the royal advisor of Queen Allura and King Lotor.

“Why, hello Lotor! How’s the expedition going? I trust everyone and everything is in tip top shape?” Coran’s cheery voice somehow always put people at ease.

“Hello, Coran. We’re finding new information everyday. Both good and bad.” Lotor sighed and rubbed his temple.

“A GAC for your thoughts, son?” Coran twirled his moustache.

Lotor retold the royal advisor of the day’s events. Coran’s smile slowly dropped as Lotor recalled the strange herbal dust, the mummified hand, Lance’s sudden shift in behaviour and how for a moment he couldn’t remember what or why he would do it. Coran’s heart cracked hearing Lotor speak of how remorseful Lance became after he realized he tried to seriously hurt Allura.

In Coran’s eyes, Lance was a good hearted and hard working young lad who always put others before himself. Lance was like the son Coran never had. He also knew the young man to very rarely have violent outbursts or the sudden impulse to harm anyone without reason. He knew of the neglect Lance went through with Shiro and Keith and how much it hurt the young Omega, but to suddenly act violent and aggressive at the mere mention of their names? So violent that he would hurt his closest friend?

“...and right now, I’m trying to figure out if this powdery substance has to do with any of this.” Lotor groaned and slammed his hands onto the table.

“Could it possible contain traces of corrupted quintessence?” Coran inquired. It was a plausible and reasonable theory, but thanks to everyone’s effort, Neo-Altea and Earth had created technology that would detect even a slightest trace of the corrupted quintessence.

“That’s what I had originally hypothesized as well. After all, my own parents became the universe’s cruelest beings because of it and I saw pieces of them in Lance. But we’ve done numerous tests along with using Allura’s life giving purifying magic to find out if there is any of that dark quintessence in that jar and in Lance’s system. All of the results come out to be negative. Thrice.” Lotor sighed and sipped on his coffee.

“Indeed, this is quite the conundrum. Fear not, my boy! I’ll do anything I can to help!” Coran puffed out his chest proudly, making the young king laugh.

“Thank you, Coran. I was hoping for that. Your knowledge will be invaluable for our cause. I owe you a great debt and gratitude for your help.” Lotor bowed deeply to his pseudo-father-in-law. “I’ve run numerous analysis on the the powder’s compounds. All of our research has linked this substance chemically closest to Diveriolyp, Altean uofkili, and winstilbio plants. But what they could have been used for is endless without any other information.”

“Hmmm…Diveriolyp, Altean Uofkili, and Winstilbio….Why, those are known for Altean perfume making 10,000 years ago! Even Allura’s own mother often used them for fragrance!” Coran recalled fondly.

“Except it didn’t smell like them. Granted they were sealed in a jar for who knows how long. It left us in what was essentially hysteria! The only one unaffected was Lance and we believe its because of him being human.” Lotor ran a hand through his hair in exhaustion.

“What did it smell like?” Coran asked.

“I don’t know. None of us seem to be familiar with that smell. The closest thing any of us could compare it to was death. Not rotting flesh, not blood, bile, or feces, none of that. It was nothing like anything I’ve ever smelled, Coran. The closest guess I have is that they are predecessors or unmodified versions of the herbs mentioned. ” Lotor shuddered at the memory of the stench.

“Hmmmm, well, at least we have a possible start! The herbs you mentioned have been cultivated by Alteans for numerous millennia! I can try and trace back its origins to the earliest point in our history to find out what this could possibly be. Thankfully the Castle of Lions still has a vast database on ancient Altean culture. It’ll take some time, but I’m sure I can find it! Is there anything else in the powder you found other than those three herbs?” Coran twirled his moustache.

“Um, let me see…” Lotor swiped through his data pad, “it looks like some kind of tree resin, white juniberry pollen, crushed minerals we don’t know of, and something the system is unable to decipher. It comes up as an ‘unknown organic substance’.”

“Well, not to worry! We have a lead and we’ll go from there! Now go and rest a bit, you look like you’re about to drop like a Floohelian Bog Blaerf.” Coran laughed and hung up on the king.

But there was no time for rest. While the powder hasn’t affected Lance’s body, it was clear that it was affecting him mentally and emotionally. Lotor chugged down the remainder of his now-cold coffee and returned to scouring his available resources. What he wouldn’t give to be in his lab and libraries back on Neo-Altea. He spent hours recording and logging all of his findings until his eyes felt like they were going to pop out of his head. But questions continued to linger in his head.

If this wasn’t corrupted quintessence, what is it? And was it more dangerous than that quintessence?

While Lotor was bunched over his research, Lance had woken up.

Even after sleeping for hours, he felt more exhausted than before. Both mentally and physically. It felt like his body was weighed down with a ton of lead while his brain felt foggier than Silent Hill. Even with his pounding headache, he remembered bits and pieces of what happened before he passed out.

Allura had mentioned Shiro and Keith, they wanted to know his whereabouts. Normally, Lance would feel a bevy of emotions like hope, fear, longing, betrayal, etc. But for some reason, he only felt one emotion: anger. But it wasn’t an ordinary anger. It was a bloodlust, frenzied by Lance didn’t know what. The last time he felt that angry was when Voltron and Sincline were in the quintessence field fighting Honerva.

It was like he didn’t have control over his body and his mind threw away everything that wasn’t his hate for the two Alphas. If Lotor hadn’t snapped him out of whatever rage induced stupor he was in, Lance probably would have killed Allura. He saw the bruises, they were burned into his mind like a scorching hot branding iron. Allura, one of his best friends, his closest confidant, was hurt because of him. Even if he apologized until he passed out, that guilt and regret didn’t go away.

Did...Did Shiro ever feel this way when he hit Lance?

Another wave of hatred and wave of pulsing pain hit Lance like a freight train.

No. Of course he didn’t feel remorse. If anything, Shiro probably wanted to hit him again and again until Lance submitted like the stereotypical Omega they all thought he was. That they wanted him to be. He didn’t apologize, he just stared at Lance like an idiot and try to justify himself. Of course, Shiro would get mad at Lance for getting mad at Keith. Shiro always chose Keith over him. Keith was better than Lance. Keith was more important than Lance. Keith was loved more than Lance. Keith didn’t have to lift a single fucking finger and Shiro would still be wrapped around it while Lance was chastised and berated for getting in the way or upsetting his precious Alpha mate.

And then there was Keith. That jackass. While they went from a one-sided rivalry to comrades to friends to lovers, it was always like Lance was a thorn in his side. Even when Lance did nothing to warrant any sort of provocation, Keith was on his ass with some kind of menial complaint about what he was doing. And while he didn’t exclude Lance from coupley stuff like Shiro did, he never spoke up to defend his Omega. Never ONCE did he say “Hey, where is Lance?”, “Hey, I want Lance here too”, “Hey, we can’t exclude Lance!”, “Hi Lance, how are you today?”, “Lance, I love you”.

There was no room for Lance with them. Not even in any abandoned corner in either of their hearts. Lance was beginning to doubt if there ever was any place for him in their lives. Thinking back on it, They probably wanted to know where Lance was so they can chew him up and spit him out. They probably just missed their verbal punching bag and bed warmer.

Remembering his former mates gave Lance a headache which felt like someone was hammering a railroad spike into the back of his head. He groaned in pain before getting up to dig into his duffel bag for a bottle of painkillers. Taking them with him to the bathroom, he threw a couple pills back and washed them down with a glass of water. With the coldest water possible, he rinsed his clammy face and stared in the mirror again.

He let out a sigh in relief. While still angry at his former-mates, Lance didn’t see the horrifying visage he had seen earlier that movement. Instead, Lance looked empty and tired. Like someone had leeched the hope and life out of him. He was quite pale for his complexion, but he assumed it was from the numerous times blood had to be drawn from him to find out if the herbs he had accidentally inhaled would be a danger to him. That and the stress building up inside him.

But just like his face, his lips were just as pallor and twice as dry. “Nothing a little lip scrub and balm won’t fix.” Lance thought to himself with a forced smile. But who was he fooling? He was tired. So tired he no longer cared about his skincare or appearance, at that. All he wanted to do was crawl back into bed and sleep; never to wake up ever again.

Lance left his private bathroom and sat back down on his bed, ever so tempted to give into his unwaking sleep wish. But some wishes aren’t granted. Without any sort of announcement, someone barged into his room with a fierce and determined look on her face. A look that reminded Lance of Keith and made him panic a little on the inside. But whoever this woman was, she was certainly (and thankfully) not Keith. Unlike his unruly black hair, her short and slicked back hair was the color of ripe peaches in the summer with a glowing pale golden complexion and eyes that reminded him of a moonlit night. And just like Lance, her Altean markings were a light cyan blue.

Without warning, she pulled Lance’s arm straight while simultaneously sliding up his sleeve, exposing his needle pocked arm. She clicked her tongue seeing the marks and hastily yet carefully applied a cool soothing salve over them. Lance wasn’t sure what was going on and was about to ask her what she was doing and who she was. But she was all business.

Lance gagged when a tongue depressor was inserted a little too far into his mouth and pressed a little too hard on his tongue. A blindingly bright light shined down his throat and into his eyes, nose, and even his ears. The depressor was soon replaced with a strange looking thermometer. Another was pressed to his forehead and two more were stuck into his ears.

“Don’t take them out.” Lance could only dumbly nod his head. Her tone was much like his mother’s when she got a little too stern. He sat there silently for about a minute before the thermometers all beeped.

“Hmm, temperature is normal.” She held two fingers to his jugular, “Pulse is a little slow, but it’s strong. I take it you just woke up?”

“Y-yeah. I’m sorry, but who are yo--” Lance finally got the chance to speak. Or so he thought.

Without warning, Bhezerax appeared, sweating and our of breath.

“Cartula! There you are! Let the poor boy rest!” Bhezerax leaned on the door frame for support. He straightened himself up and approached the two. He pulled the woman aside and bowed to Lance. “Apologies, my friend. When Cartula heard you were ill, she couldn’t help but rush to your aide.”

“Cartula? Is this the mate you were talking about?” Lance’s eyes lit up.

“Yes. Lance, this is my mate, Cartula of planet Neo-Altea. Beloved, this is Lance; a great paladin of Voltron and a new friend of mine.” Bhezerax proudly introduced his mate.

“Forgive me for the intrusiveness. I take my job quite seriously.” Cartula apologized.

“Sometimes she get a bit carried away, but she means well. She wouldn’t be one of Neo-Altea’s finest medical professionals if she wasn’t so passionate.” Bhezerax loudly praised and laughed.

“Oh, stop it, my love! You don’t have to raise my prestige any more than you already do on a daily basis.” Cartula playfully slapped her mate’s chest armor while trying to hide her blush.

Seeing these two together made Lance’s heart ache a little. No, they didn’t remind him of Keith and Shiro. It was clear their relationship is far too healthy to be anything remotely like his former lovers. Bhezerax and Cartula reminded him of his brother Luis and his wife, Lisa. Luis was Lance’s big brother, in both meanings of the term. Luis was tall and broad, built like a tank with the heart of gold. If Lance was honest, Bhezerax’s laugh sounded a lot like Luis’s.

While Cartula wasn’t as plump as Lisa, their personalities were similar. They were both warm and kind and fiercely protective and attentive. Lance remembered how Lisa was in a mild panic when Silvio gave Lance the chicken pox. It didn’t help the similarities knowing that Lisa was a registered nurse.

Lance watched in somber fondness as the Galtean couple playfully argued back and forth. Seeing them together was both hurting and healing his heart at the same time.

“...help?” Lance snapped to attention.

“H-huh?” Lance looked up to see matching looks of worry.

“I said, Do you need any more medical help?” Cartula asked with a worried expression on her face, “King Lotor and Queen Allura told everyone that you inhaled some strange powder from an artifact. Are there any other symptoms?”

“I feel pretty okay. I’m a little more tired than I normally am, but other than that, nothing.” Lance recalled. Lance didn’t want to mention his violent outburst since he wasn’t sure if that could even be counted as a symptom or just him lashing out.

“No headaches? Stomachaches? Blurred vision? Hallucinations?” Cartula urged gently.

“I’ve had headaches long before the expedition, everything else no. Although…” Lance pondered. Cartula and Bhezerax leaned in curiously, “I…I saw something in the mirror earlier. It…it wasn’t a hallucination. But I never felt that angry in my entire life. Could mood swings be a possible symptom?”

“Oh yes. Mood swings can have plenty of different triggers both internally and externally. Has anything significant change in your life? It can even be insignificant.” Cartula sat next to Lance and placed a warm comforting hand on his back.

Lance didn’t know why, but something about the couple’s presence made him feel vulnerable, but in a good way. Like, he was free to speak without judgement. Not just speak, but to let out his emotions. He felt like he could scream, cry, be happy, sad, angry, scared in front of them and they wouldn’t judge him or invalidate what he was feeling.

“I…I’m sorry, Bhezerax.” Lance whimpered an apology to the Galra engineer, “I…I lied…about my mates. W-well, kinda. I mean…I…they aren’t my mates anymore.”

Bhezerax looked a bit surprised but he said nothing. He sat on the other side of Lance and like his mate, he placed a large comforting hand on his back.

“My…They are always really busy and that leads to little time together. And I did try to support them in every way I could, but…but they didn’t do the same for me.” Lance sighed through the tears.

“I tried. I tried and tried and tried. I waited hopefully and hopelessly that they would turn around and see me and smile and tell me that they loved me. I hoped with all my heart that they would hold my hand as I reached for them. But they didn’t. They saw me as an annoyance and…and a nuisance. I was always ‘too’ something for them! Too clingy, too needy, too lazy, too annoying, it was always too something! I loved them! But they didn’t love me back anymore.” Lance breathlessly sobbed into his hands, his head pulsed with pain as the stress and negative emotions overwhelmed him.

“Oh, dear sweet boy.” Cartula’s brows knit together, sharing Lance’s pain.

“I don’t know if they even loved me at all! They probably loved the idea of me as their mate! Oh but that wasn’t all! They thought it was okay to leave me behind. But the one time, the one damn time, I leave for less than a few hours, they get on my case! ‘Where the hell have you been?’, ‘Why didn’t you tell us?’, ‘How do we know you aren’t lying?’, ‘What did we do to make you treat us like this?’, ‘You’re always trying to annoy us for no reason, Lance!’, ‘stop fucking around and give us a break for once!’, ‘You’re nothing special, Lance!’. They didn’t even notice I was gone until 3 weeks later. They don’t trust me. They don’t love me. And I got tired. I just wanted them to love me the same way they promised they would. They lied. They only love each other. I’m nothing to them. I just feel like…like…like I never mattered. They’re right. I’m an idiot. A worthless, stupid, clingy, annoying, idio--” Lance’s rant was cut off when he was suddenly pulled to the side and thin but soft arms wrapped tight around him.

“Enough of that. I won’t allow you to say such things anymore.” Cartula swore with her voice shaking.

“But…”Lance tried to protest but it only made Cartula squeeze tighter.

“No! Lance, you are not those things you or your mates claim to be! I have heard much about you from my mate and my mate is never wrong when it comes to people. Lance, you are a kind and loving soul, fierce, brave, and strong. How can you call yourself such awful things when you have saved the universe and ended a war so long that no one could remember the true cause.

“B-But I didn’t do it alone.” Lance wilted away from the praise.

“No one can win wars alone. Lance, you were a part of Voltron. The lions chose you for a reason. You are brave and strong and worthy. Your mates do not deserve such a compassionate and attentive mate like you. You have a lion’s heart. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. If it happens, I will hand my mate a scalpel and sic her on them.” Bhezerax huffed and Lance couldn’t help but laugh hearing Cartula’s chirp of agreement.

“Thank you. I…I really needed this.” Lance smiled through his tears.

“You are most welcome, Lance. Now its best you get some more rest.” Cartula pulled away and gave Lance a motherly kiss to his head.

The door hissed open and a newcomer entered Lance’s room.

“My apologies, I was told my…oh, there you two are!”

Lance felt his heart skip a beat seeing the newcomer. He was tall; almost as tall as Lotor. He was slim and willowy in a graceful handsome way. His complexion reminded Lance of how his sister Rachel would put too much milk in her morning coffee. He had a sharp jawline but plump cheeks. And sharp almond shaped dark gold eyes. They were beautiful and Lance wouldn’t mind getting lost in them. Lance also wondered what it would feel like to braid his long reddish pink hair.

“Oh, forgive me for intruding. I was looking for my parents. I see you’ve found them first.” the newcomer chuckled.

“Lance, this is our eldest son, Ixior. Ixior, this is Lance, a friend of our King and Queen and a former Paladin of Voltron.” Cartula introduced her son to Lance.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Paladin Lance. I’m honored to both meeting you and working with you.” Ixior happily extended his hand out to Lance.

“O-oh, the pleasure is all mine.” Lance blushed and shook the tall Galtean’s hand.

“He’s also unmated.” Bhezerax loudly whispered.

Lance couldn’t calm his rapidly beating heart after hearing that. It didn't help that Ixior gave him the most swoon worthy smile he's ever seen.

Chapter Text

I haven't updated this fic in over a year, and I am SO sorry!!!! As many of you have noticed, I've moved on from the VLD fandom and it just doesn't interest me as much as it used to. It does still hold a special place in my heart, but I've moved on. Does that mean I'm no longer uploading chapters? No.

But yes, I am taking this story down for good reason.

I'm re-writing it.

After re-reading the chapters here, I noticed there were too many continuity, spelling, and grammar mistakes where editing just won't cut it. I will not remove this story immediately, so don't worry about that! I want to rework all of the current chapters plus add a new chapter or two before removing this. Likely that will be around mid-May to early June give or take, so there is still time to re-read if yall like. The plot is gonna be the same, most of the chapters are gonna be the same, and the title of the new version is gonna be the same. However, it will go into a different direction compared to what I originally had in mind. Obviously, I'm not gonna tell yall cuz where's the fun in that?

And again: Please do not ask me to update with new chapters. I've made it very clear last time to stop doing that, and while the responses I received were very supportive and kind; there are still those who continue to demand new chapters very aggressively, challenge me like "I can make this fic better than you", and guilt me over the lack of updates. It's really disheartening when people do this because as much as I wanted to continue, it made me feel like I had to set the bar higher than what I am capable of reaching.

To those who have been very patient and supportive of me, I cannot express how grateful I am to you all! Re-reading your encouraging words of kindness, support, and feedback is why I'm going to be back with this story and doing my best to continue and improve it! I can't guarantee that the uploads will be consistent, but uploads will happen. Other fandom work will take priority, but I will come back to my first and most popular work!

That being said, thank you everyone for being patient with me!

Edit: YES, I will update with a link to the new remade story in this post and it will stay here for a couple days before I delete the version of the story!