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At first, there was no doubt in Younghoon's mind that the threesome with the incredibly good-looking couple he found on Tinder was going to be a one-time deal. But after spending a single night with the duo, he found himself interested in meeting with them again. And again. And again.
And then it became their routine, their "thing". Every other week, either Hyunjae or Juyeon would invite Younghoon to come over and have dinner with them. Then he would enjoy either some simple meal Juyeon had whipped up (or warmed up in the microwave) or a fancier dish that Hyunjae had decided to order for them. They would enjoy a pleasant conversation, talk about their week, drink some wine or soju, and then they would have sex.
Even if he had done it several times by then, the sex was still mind-blowing to him every single time. At first, it was a bit awkward as he fumbled around the other two, trying to figure out what worked for them and for himself.
But after they developed a familiarity with one another, it was even better. Because now Younghoon knew how to bite the junction between Juyeon's shoulder and neck just the right way to make the other whimper and beg. Or how much Hyunjae enjoyed certain kinds of dirty-talk, to the point he would almost come untouched.
And the couple also discovered things about Younghoon, things he even didn't know about. For example, how much he could become a moaning, mewling mess in a matter of minutes from being rimmed and fingered open.
Like now.
Younghoon scrambled on the bed, trying to ground himself, because the pleasure was overwhelming. He blindly reached out and grabbed at Juyeon's forearm, looking up at him while he struggled to string words together in a sentence.
"Is it that good, hyung?" Juyeon asked kindly, with a soft smile on his lips, while petting Younghoon's hair.
It was not as if he could even answer, as once again Hyunjae speared his tongue inside him so fast, sucking and licking at his entrance, that he was left unable to do anything other than whimper, as tears from pleasure threatened to spill from his eyes.
He could feel as his insides twitched and clenched involuntarily, even more so when Hyunjae dared to start teasing his hole with his finger, inserting just its tip slowly inside him, only to remove it and replace it with his mouth. Hyunjae was a fucking tease as usual.
He was about to actually get annoyed, when Juyeon leaned down and kissed his lips, swallowing his moans. Hyunjae chose this exact moment to stop being a little shit and finally - finally! - get his finger inside Younghoon properly. At first, he just moved it slightly, lazy movements as he pressed against Younghoon's insides. Then he started moving in and out, slowly and deliberately.
As the slide became smoother, thanks to the mixture of lube and saliva, Hyunjae increased the pace. But it wasn't enough, not even close to being enough.
"More." Younghoon said, when a particularly strong moan made him break his lips away from Juyeon's. "And faster."
"So demanding." Hyunjae giggled, that high pitched sound that left his lips when he was absolutely delighted by something. He still kept the same lethargic pace, taking forever to move even a centimeter.
"Please." Younghoon begged, his lips curling in a pout.
"That wasn't so hard, was it?" Hyunjae smirked, as he added another finger, moving them at a more frantic pace.
While being soothed by Juyeon, who was still caressing his hair and planting kisses to his cheeks and lips with small compliments and words of encouragement, Younghoon couldn’t help but gasp due to the stretch. Hyunjae scissored his fingers inside him, it felt so good, he was finally getting something more after so much teasing.
"Move, Younghoon, here." Hyunjae directed, lightly tapping Younghoon's thigh, as he helped him turn on his back, leaning against Juyeon's body, so he would be facing Hyunjae. "That's perfect."
Younghoon could barely understand what Hyunjae was saying, and then he was already taking his mouth to Younghoon's throbbing cock, sucking at it as he worked his fingers inside him. Another gasp left Younghoon's lips and he threw his head against Juyeon's shoulder, who promptly kissed his forehead and enveloped his waist with his large hands.
He felt a tightness in his lower abdomen as his orgasm approached, he started trembling in Juyeon's arms, because he was so close. And when Hyunjae finally, fucking finally, brushed his prostate directly, Younghoon keened and tears actually spilled from his eyes. He was so aroused, he could almost taste his release. Some incoherent words spilled from his mouth, as he felt Juyeon's kisses on his cheek and neck. The only thing he could repeat was how close he was.
And then Hyunjae, the bastard, stopped and removed both his fingers and his mouth from Younghoon. If it were not for Juyeon holding him so firmly, Younghoon would have gotten up to throw hands at Hyunjae.
"What the hell, Jaehyun." He yelled, using the other's real name to let him know how pissed off he felt.
"Just be patient. It'll be even better if you wait." Hyunjae teased unfazed, a smug smile on his lips, as he ripped a small condom package open.
Younghoon made a brusque move with his right arm, easily freeing it from Juyeon's hold. He immediately started pumping his cock, a bead of precome on its tip. Juyeon, however, batted his hand away and grabbed his wrist, moving it where it was before. Younghoon groaned as once again his release was being denied.
"Hyung, just wait a little more." Juyeon stated, matter-of-factly, ignoring how much his hyung was whining in response. Hyunjae, meanwhile, was taking his sweet time putting on the condom.
The jerk even dared to smirk at Younghoon and chuckled softly at him, giving his own cock two lazy, languid pumps. His large, doe-like eyes were almost fully closed, as he looked at Younghoon, as if he was quite pleased with the view in front of him.
"You're so pretty, Younghoonie hyung." Juyeon whispered right against Younghoon's ear, making him shiver.
"Yes, very pretty." Hyunjae agreed quickly. "And so, so nice for us. You deserve to be rewarded, don't you, Younghoon?"
"Just do it, quickly." He muttered, his teeth clenched. Gosh, he was so close he would turn insane.
"Didn't quite catch it, what did you say?" Hyunjae, the fucking bastard, teased again.
"Hyung, don't be so mean." Juyeon said at the same time that Younghoon yelled. "Will you fuck me or not?"
He knew he must make quite a picture, tears of frustration running down his blotched face, red lips from constantly biting them while lost in pleasure, and precum leaking incessantly from his painfully hard cock.
For once in his life, Hyunjae finally had mercy and got his dick inside Younghoon, almost immediately setting a fast pace, rocking Younghoon against Juyeon's body. At this point, Younghoon was moaning and screaming, his arms trembling in Juyeon's hold.
Hyunjae didn't take long to hit his prostate directly, making Younghoon feel as if his nerves had lit up in flames all at once. It was simultaneously too much and exactly what he had been craving for the last couple hours since they started edging him. Juyeon licked and kissed his nape and shoulders, as Hyunjae kept moving almost all the way out and back inside again, making it a point to hit his prostate. He could feel his dick twitch and leak precum, begging for attention, as his hole was filled.
With Hyunjae’s movements, his body was flush against Juyeon’s, moving and rutting against him. Younghoon could feel the other’s hard cock against his back, which would slide against his skin each time Hyunjae would pump inside him again. From his gasps, he knew Juyeon was enjoying and relishing it.
"Juyeon, Juyeonie." He begged, turning his head to look at the other man. "Please."
He didn't have to ask twice, because Juyeon pulled him in for a kiss, just as his hands let go of Younghoon's wrist in order to pump him in time with Hyunjae's unforgiving pace. His other hand busied itself with one of Younghoon's nipples, pinching the little bud.
Younghoon licked at Juyeon's mouth, sucking in his lips and tongue, but soon he had to let go, to gasp. He was so, so close. He was almost terrified to get to this point, because he wasn't sure if he would be allowed to get there. This thought spilled from his lips before he could help it: "'m so close, please let me come. P-Please."
"Just come, Younghoon. You did so well."
It was as if Hyunjae's permission was the last thing needed to tip him over the edge. He came as soon as he heard the words, throwing his head back at Juyeon with a silent scream. Both Juyeon and Hyunjae helped him through his orgasm, until Younghoon started squirming from overstimulation.
He felt boneless and overwhelmingly tired, he wasn't sure if he had ever had such a wrecking orgasm. Juyeon helped him to lay on the bed, just as Hyunjae removed himself from his hole. He winced with the motion and Juyeon soothed him with a few kisses on his cheek. "Are you okay, hyung?"
Younghoon only nodded in response, still feeling light-headed. He just wanted to close his eyes and enjoy the feeling, but the sound of Hyunjae's voice made him open his eyes and pay attention to him:
"Juyeonie..." Hyunjae was still hard, holding the base of his cock tightly with one hand, as he slid off the still empty condom with the other. "Can you help hyung?
Juyeon didn't answer verbally, but he crawled closer to Hyunjae on the bed. His feline eyes curled as he smiled to the other. He then took Hyunjae's cock on his hand and engulfed it with his mouth, sucking and slurping loudly.
Hyunjae grabbed blindly at Younghoon, until he found his hand and then intertwined their fingers together. He squeezed Younghoon's hand, as he gasped and moaned. It didn't take Juyeon long to make Hyunjae come, and when he did his whole back arched from the bed as he trembled.
"You're always so good for hyung, Juyeonie. I love you so much." Hyunjae said, sounding as wrecked as he looked.
Juyeon chuckled quietly and moved back on top of Hyunjae, saying "I love you too, hyung." before kissing him slowly, with so much affection, as he cradled Hyunjae's face with his large hands, their chests flush together.
Younghoon wasn't sure why, but looking at the two of them, he felt as if somebody took a dagger to his heart and twisted it. He wanted that. He wished somebody who would tell him how much they loved him.
He suddenly felt dirty and uncomfortable on the couple's bed. The cum that started to dry on his stomach and back felt gross and all he wanted was to wipe it clean. When he looked at his hand, his fingers were still intertwined with Hyunjae's and he felt the urge to cry at the sight. Younghoon quickly sat down on the bed and prepared himself to get up.
Hyunjae, however, did not let go of his hand. He turned to look at Younghoon, breaking the kiss he was sharing with Juyeon.
"Younghoon, what's wrong?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowing in worry. Juyeon also looked concerned.
"No, it's nothing. I'm fine." But he didn't feel fine. He felt like running away as soon as possible and as far as he could.
"You're clearly not okay." Hyunjae said and opened up his arms towards Younghoon. "Come here, babe."
Juyeon sat down on the opposite end of the bed, moving away from his boyfriend. He also looked at Younghoon. Something else other than concern in his eyes. Was it pity? Younghoon couldn't tell.
In any case, Younghoon accepted Hyunjae's invitation, going back close to him on the bed, soon being embraced by the other. He felt a set of fingers carding his hair, as the other rubbed soothing circles on his back.
Hyunjae murmured to him: "Did I push you too much today? Did I make you uncomfortable?"
"No, of course not. It was great. I enjoyed myself." He was quick to answer.
"I know I can be pushy sometimes. You can always use our safeword, you know that right?"
"It's not that, Hyunjae. I just-"
He just what? What was he going to say? 'Seeing you and Juyeon being lovey-dovey actually makes my heart break a little bit'? That didn't even make sense. He had no right to feel heartbroken, he knew exactly what he was getting into when he agreed to this, now he couldn't complain about it.
Hyunjae was still carefully studying his face, remaining in silence for more than five minutes. It had to be some sort of record for him. Juyeon also came back to the bedroom, bringing the habitual wet towels to wipe them clean, even if Younghoon didn't even notice he had left in the first place.
"I don't know. I'm weird, don't mind me."
"You're not weird, Younghoon, tell me what's wrong."
"I'd rather not."
"But-"
"Hyung, let him be." It was Juyeon who interceded this time, a little more harshly than Younghoon had ever heard him talk to Hyunjae. "He'll talk to us later, right? You must be tired, Younghoon hyung."
Younghoon felt Juyeon start to clean his back with the warm wet towel, as Hyunjae deposited butterfly kisses on his face, humming to some melody. He should relax, but he still felt uncomfortable being there.
When Younghoon got home, Changmin was in the kitchen eating some ramyun. His cheeks puffed as he stuffed his face with food. As soon as the older man got through the door, Changmin already had eyes on him, a knowing look in his face.
"I know, Changmin-ah. Don't even botter, I know what you're going to say: 'I told you so'".
"I wasn't actually going to say that, hyung." He managed to speak once he swallowed. "But I'm worried about you."
Younghoon sat down on a chair, wincing a bit, for his hips and lower back were still sore from the previous exertion, even after Juyeon massaged them. He brushed his hair back and then stared at his younger friend.
"Am I stupid, Changmin-ah? I went in on this knowing what I could expect from them. Hell, Juyeon said it very clearly even before we met in person."
"I don't think you're stupid, hyung." Changmin said softly. "It's just that I don't think you're the type of person who's able to just have sex with no strings attached. I mean, how long has this been going on for?"
"Eight months."
"Hyung, that's longer than almost all of your previous relationships." He crossed his arms and looked very serious. "I'm sorry to say this, but, as your friend, I think you need to stop going out with them. It's hurting you."
"But I- I like them. I like being with them." Younghoon said almost in a whisper.
"You're not 'with' them, hyung. You're just their fuckbuddy." Changmin then moved to give him a hug. "I want you to be happy and to find somebody who loves you as you deserve to be loved, okay? Juyeon and Hyunjae don't deserve you."
Younghoon nodded as he sobbed against Changmin's shoulder. He knew his friend was somewhat right. The longer this went on, the more heartbreak he was going to go through, he knew that. But at the same time, he disagreed that Hyunjae and Juyeon didn't deserve him. They deserved the whole world and more, they were very nice people.
Hyunjae always texted him and asked about how he was doing. Whenever Younghoon complained about something, like how he was being swamped by schoolwork or how his doctoral advisor was being demanding, Hyunjae would send him a bunch of stickers with "hwaiting!" and "I'm rooting for you, we're all rooting for you".
And once a week, Juyeon would teach a dance class in a studio two blocks away from the university. So on his way back, he would always pick Younghoon up. They would chat about whatever they were watching on Netflix or reminisce about their experience with competitive swimming.
The three of them sometimes would go out to the movies, or to have dinner together. Sometimes they would just hang out, watch some TV, eat junk food and cuddle. And sometimes they would fuck again. It became their routine.
It's just that Younghoon got attached to said routine. He loved having the two of them as friends and he also loved having sex with them, but it seems like his heart was greedy after all and this wasn't enough.
Maybe he should take Changmin's advice and refuse to go out with them from now on. Younghoon decided to, at least, stop hanging out with them for the time being, until he could sort out his feelings more and muster up enough courage to actually tell them he was not interested in being their fuckbuddy anymore.
That resolution lasted precisely until the next time Hyunjae texted him. Younghoon, not to make excuses or anything, was just curious. He received a text inviting him out for lunch the next day. That was very unusual, first because Hyunjae didn't mention Juyeon and didn't send it in their group chat. And second because they never had lunch together before. Dinner? Yes, almost every week. Brunch? A couple times. They even went to afternoon tea once. But lunch? Never before.
Younghoon always felt like it was some sort of unspoken agreement that lunch time was not for him. Hyunjae and Juyeon would eat lunch together almost everyday, sometimes at their place, other times at a restaurant near Hyunjae's workplace. So Younghoon accepted the invitation. If only, just out of curiosity.
Or at least those were the excuses he spewed off to Changmin, who side-eyed him, judging hard, and then tackled and bit him at least three times before Younghoon was able to push the boy off. At the end of the squirrel attack, Younghoon had bite marks on his neck and forearms.
"What the hell, Changmin?" He whined.
"You totally deserved it!". Changmin grumbled, stomping his way back to his room. "When you come to me crying, this time I'll indeed tell you 'I told you so'. Seriously, hyung, have some respect for yourself at least."
Younghoon rushed to the restaurant where he would meet Hyunjae. He was a tad late from being attacked by his savage roommate and from spending some time trying to cover his injuries from said event with foundation, so he kept a fast pace as he entered the small, family-owned business.
He heard Hyunjae calling his name and so turned his head in the direction of the sound. Younghoon was shocked to notice that Hyunjae had drastically changed his hair color. His previously chestnut hair was now an ashy blond tone, still looking as impossibly silky and soft as ever. If anything, that haircolor made Hyunjae look even more ethereal than before.
"Your hair looks amazing." Younghoon praised, as a greeting, eliciting a loud laugh from the other man.
"Thank you, Younghoon, but honestly I kinda regret it. The hair dye plus straightening it is really taking a toll on my hair. It's so dry you have no idea." He chuckled. "Did you ever go blonde? I think it would suit you."
"Yeah, I did. Back when I was an undergrad. Kinda regretted it, but also not really, because I looked smoking hot."
"You're always smoking hot. And also, no way! Do you have pictures?"
They then started a back-and-forth. One of the things Younghoon enjoyed the most with Hyunjae was how easy it was to fall into friendly banter with him. Maybe because they were the same age, or their personalities simply matched well, but he felt very comfortable talking to the other man. He completely forgot that his main reason for accepting the invitation was to find out why Hyunjae had invited him in the first place.
After they finished their meal, Hyunjae gave him a hug and then stopped suddenly, just a few inches away from him. Younghoon started to panic because it's not like he usually did PDA with the other two.
"Younghoon, what's this?" Hyunjae asked, lightly touching the other's neck, right where Changmin, the vampire-squirrel, had bitten him before. "It's almost purple, it looks like it hurts."
"Ah, nevermind it. One of my friends did it." Hyunjae still looked at him, seemingly alarmed. "Don't worry, it's fine, it's kinda his thing. He really likes biting."
"Oh, I see." But his expression was still a mixture of confusion and concern. "I'll be going now. Talk to you later, Younghoon!"
Younghoon then went back home and had to suffer not only through Changmin's silent treatment, but also Chanhee's judging glances. Hyunjae, however, followed through with his promise and texted him later that day, inviting Younghoon out for lunch the next day as well. And the day after that too.
After mustering up his courage, Younghoon finally asked about Juyeon not joining them for lunch.
"Oh, didn't he tell you last time? Juyeon is traveling for work this week. It's a huge opportunity for his crew, so he's super excited." He chuckled affectionately.
"That's nice. I'm sure he must be working hard and also enjoying himself there."
Hyunjae nodded. "He is. I'm so proud of him."
Younghoon wasn't sure how to pinpoint what he was feeling, but it was like his heart was split with two separate emotions. He felt relieved to know everything was ok with Juyeon and also between Juyeon and Hyunjae. It had been on the back of his mind for the last couple days, causing him to worry about whether something was going on or not.
And at the same time he felt hurt. No, not exactly. He felt more like he was annoyed. It's obvious that Juyeon would always be Hyunjae's first choice for anything and vice-versa. But even so it sucked to know that the only reason Hyunjae had invited him out is because he was bored without Juyeon and just wanted somebody to keep him company.
As soon as he thought that, Younghoon felt an immediate surge of guilt. Once again, he had to remind himself he had no right to be upset, hurt or, god forbid, jealous of Hyunjae and Juyeon. They were a couple. He was their fuckbuddy. And he agreed to that. It was fine, he felt fine, he had to feel fine.
When he looked back at Hyunjae, he noticed the other had stopped talking and was looking at him. His brows were furrowed in concern, as he worried his lip between his pearly teeth.
"Are you okay?" Younghoon nodded a bit too quickly, so Hyunjae wasn't convinced and kept pushing. "You know you can talk to me right? You seem kinda out of it and..." His glance dropped towards Younghoon's neck all of sudden, before he continued. "Are you really fine? You know you can talk to me about whatever is bothering you. I'm worried about you and I want to help."
Younghoon almost left out a hysterical laugh. How could he say to Hyunjae that he and Juyeon were the source of all his recent concerns and problems? Even if Younghoon was in the wrong for feeling like that? Even if he didn't deserve or had the right to feel this way?
He settled in a seemingly placid smile and some more reassurement that yes, he was fine, just peachy, as well as he could be. Hyunjae's expression left it very clear how he didn't believe him one bit, but what else was he supposed to do?
If he were a better man or if he loved himself a bit more, he probably would use this moment to talk frankly and honestly about how he believed that he needed some space, how his feelings were getting hurt by something that was supposed to just be casual.
But he wasn't and he didn't. So he promptly agreed to come over for some Thai takeout on Friday night. Hyunjae didn't even need to ask him twice, he just straight out agreed. A part of him was craving to have a few more stolen moments with Hyunjae to pretend they had something they actually didn't, while another side felt guilty and ashamed for even feeling like this.
Back home, he thought about complaining to Changmin and Chanhee, but he knew exactly what they were going to say and he didn't want to deal with their exasperation right now. So he chose the next best thing and decided to call another of his friends, Kevin.
He scrolled through his contact list and tapped on the name, propping the phone against his shoulder so he could chat while he finished tidying up his doctoral thesis-related mess. The voice on the other side almost made him drop everything back on the ground:
"Hyung? Is everything okay?" Juyeon's voice answered back. It was obvious the other man had been sleeping or was right about to, since he slurred his words.
"Oh my gosh, Juyeon. I'm so, so sorry. I was meaning to call my friend and ended up calling you instead. Ugh, I can't get used to this phone. I'll let you go back to sleep".
"It's fine, hyung. It's been a while." Juyeon chuckled quietly. "How have you been?"
"I'm okay. And how about you? Hyunjae told me about how you're busy with work. I hope you've been taking care of yourself".
"I've been great. It's like a dream come true, you know? I can barely believe it."
And then Juyeon told him about how excited he was for this project, how it almost fell through once and then it worked out. His voice was so calm and soothing to listen to, to the point Younghoon almost felt sleepy. Operative word being almost, since the guilt he felt towards Juyeon was too much for him to relax completely.
"Thank you for letting me ramble about this, hyung." He said, almost sounding a bit shy. "I guess I'm way too excited about it."
"No problem, Juyeon. I'm always happy to listen to you." He hesitated a bit and then added. "I'm glad that you're enjoying yourself with this project."
"Thank you, hyung." Younghoon could hear the smile in his voice and his heart hurt a bit more. "And how about you? How's everything?"
"Oh, nothing much. I'm just in an endless loop of proof-reading, re-writing and sending my thesis again to my professor, so he can find something else wrong with it." Juyeon hummed in sympathy. "But it's fine, I'm glad I'm almost done with it."
"That's good, hyung."
Then neither of them said anything for a couple of moments, Younghoon even checked his phone to make sure the call hadn't disconnected. He was surprised to see that he had been chatting with Juyeon for almost forty minutes.
"Hyung... And how have you been? Like, life in general?" Younghoon could notice he was hesitant to ask. "I don't mean to pry, but Hyunjae hyung told me he was worried about you, so I got worried too."
"Oh, no, Juyeon. I told him I'm fine. Seriously, Hyunjae is too much." He laughed but it sounded fake even to himself.
Juyeon didn't push it anymore, so they gave their final goodbyes and well-wishes for each other and then the call was over. Younghoon did call Kevin immediately after.
"Can you come over and hit me in the head with a hammer until I start making sense again?" He blurted out as soon as Kevin picked up the call.
"No, you've got the wrong number." The other boy didn't miss a beat.
On Friday, Kevin did come over to chat, drink beer and have pizza with them. Changmin was showing their friends a few videos of the new dance routine he was working on, while Chanhee was sprawled on the floor painting Kevin's nails.
Younghoon was with them, but once in a while he would steal a glance towards his phone. Hyunjae had promised he would call after he was done with work and would come pick him up. It seemed the other had run even later than expected, since it was nearing 9PM.
"If you look at your phone one more time, I'll throw it out of the window." Chanhee threatened without even sparing Younghoon a look, still busy with applying topcoat to Kevin's nails.
"Yeah, hyung, what's wrong with you today?" Kevin asked around a mouthful of pizza. "I'm getting the feeling you have somewhere else to be."
"Younghoon hyung likes his new friend Hyunjae more than he likes us, Kevin." Changmin said and the bitterness was evident in his voice. Clearly he was still annoyed at Younghoon.
"Wait, you know Hyunjae hyung? How come you didn't tell me that!"
"Do you know Hyunjae, Kevin?" Younghoon's jaw dropped in surprise.
"Yeah. Lee Jaehyun, right? Tall, skinny guy, very handsome, dates Lee Juyeon. He's my co-worker." He took another bite of pizza before adding. "Both him and Juyeon are smoking hot."
"I'm telling Jacob." Chanhee teased.
"Why? I'm engaged, not blind. Plus, Jacob agrees with me. He's friends with Hyunjae too, they go way before."
Younghoon could barely believe it. Of course Kevin would be acquainted with Juyeon and Hyunjae, it's just his incredibly awful luck at play once again. He tried to beg with his eyes for Changmin and Chanhee to keep their mouths shut over the nature of his relationship with Hyunjae, since he didn't know if the other would appreciate his co-workers finding out about it.
Chanhee, however, was not feeling merciful.
"Younghoon met Hyunjae through Juyeon. They became very close. Super close. Hang out a lot."
"That's hilarious! I had no idea you knew Hyunjae hyung." Kevin seemed to have failed to pick up what Chanhee was trying to imply. Younghoon thanked the heavens for small mercies. "Actually, I... Well, forget it. It's too much of a TMI." He laughed.
"Oh? What is it?" Changmin prompted him.
"Remember when I told you I had a threesome with a couple of friends of mine way back? Yep, it was with Hyunjae and Juyeon." He laughed even louder. "Oh gosh, that's embarrassing. I used to be wild back in the day."
Younghoon's expression was frozen in his face. He noticed that both Chanhee and Changmin threw worried glances at him. "That's crazy, Kevin! I guess having a threesome is something you need to do at least once in life." Changmin forced out a laugh.
Chanhee then prompted Kevin to help him around in the kitchen, since they had icecream and brownies for dessert and still needed to serve them. After they left, Changmin stared at him.
"Hyung..." He started softly, but Younghoon was not really in the mood for talking about it.
"I have no right to be upset over this. In fact, I shouldn't even be surprised." He started, saying it out loud more for himself rather than for Changmin to hear. Younghoon tried to put his thoughts and feelings in order. And then his phone rang, displaying Hyunjae's name and a cute selfie he had taken with Younghoon's phone.
He shut it off out of instinct more than anything. Younghoon really, really didn't want to talk with Hyunjae right now. Even if he knew he shouldn't care about this, he still did. It was a reminder. Another reminder that Younghoon meant absolutely nothing to Hyunjae and Juyeon. He was just the newest boytoy they picked up to spice up their relationship.
Those last words he ended up muttering out loud, Changmin's expression growing even more alarmed at it. He hugged Younghoon and shushed him. "You deserve much more than that, hyung." The phone in the table buzzed again, once again showing up Hyunjae's face on its display. "You don't have to talk to him today. Or ever again if you don't feel like it."
"I'll talk to him, Changmin-ah. I'll talk to him once more today and then it's over."
He took the phone and didn't even give Changmin time to answer, before walking out of the apartment, quickly saying a goodbye to Kevin and Chanhee. He didn't even bother taking the call, because as soon as he exited the building he noticed Hyunjae's car parked right in front of it. He tapped the window and opened up the door as soon as it unlocked.
Hyunjae greeted him, jokingly scolding him for not picking up his phone. Younghoon really wasn't in the mood for his teasing, so soon enough Hyunjae took the hint and dropped the subject, instead asking Younghoon what they could have for dinner.
"Ah, my friends ordered some pizza and I had a few slices."
"How dare you, Younghoon. I was looking forward to eating something nice with you!" Hyunjae exclaimed in mock betrayal, when he didn't get a reaction, he quickly amended. "Sorry. Work was chaotic and-- No, no excuses. I'm sorry, I made you wait."
"It's fine." He then added after some deliberation. "I was hanging out with a friend and he says he works with you. Kevin."
"You're friends with Kevin?! Wow, that's crazy." Hyunjae laughed. "How can the world be so vast and so tiny at the same time? I had no idea you were friends with Kevin."
"I can say the same, I didn't know the two of you worked together."
"Yeah, we're on different teams now, but we work for the same company."
And then Hyunjae was reminiscing about his friendship with Kevin and also with Jacob, sharing a few stories about things they did together. Younghoon nodded along, still feeling somewhat bitter over everything. He constantly had to remind himself he shouldn't be feeling like that, but sometimes that ugly feeling took hold of his heart.
"Maybe we could order something sweet, since you already ate dinner?" Hyunjae tried.
"I'm fine, but you should actually eat a proper meal. I bet you haven't eaten anything since breakfast, once Juyeon is not around to force you to."
"I'll have you know that I actually ate a Kit-Kat for lunch, thank you very much." And then laughter was bubbling over from both Hyunjae and Younghoon.
Damn, it was just so easy to talk to Hyunjae. Every moment that passed, he felt less inclined to tell Hyunjae about how he wanted to have some space for himself.
When they got to the dark, silent apartment, Hyunjae asked him to order some food ("Surprise me! You know I'm not picky") and went to have a shower, as he usually did. This time, however, Juyeon's quiet, comforting presence was sorely missed.
As soon as he was done ordering dinner, Younghoon started feeling anxiety creeping over him, sitting in the living room only hearing the muffled noise of running water from the shower. He really needed to talk to Hyunjae and then go home to his friends. Changmin had texted him twice, gently reminding him that they would be waiting for him back home. He pocketed the phone again, and then he walked to the apartment's balcony.
Feeling the cool night air hit his face as soon as he opened up the glass door, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the breeze and hearing the sounds from the street many floors below him. It helped him to put his thoughts in order. He took his phone again, intending to finally reply to Changmin's message, but he noticed Juyeon's name on the messaging app and the "typing..." beneath his name.
He waited for a bit and it disappeared. Then came back again, only to disappear again. Younghoon figured Juyeon wanted to tell him something, but was either hesitating on how to phrase it or he was indeed writing an essay. Younghoon sent him an "what's up", because he didn't need yet another thing to overthink. Juyeon, instead of replying, simply called him.
"Hello, Juyeon."
"Hyung. I'm sorry to call you this late." From Juyeon's tone, he could tell something was amiss.
"It's fine. What's wrong?"
"Nothing... Just. Well, my crew's performance is tomorrow." He hesitated a bit. "And I'm a bit anxious over that, I guess." He laughed, sounding somewhat breathless. "I can't sleep and... I thought talking to you might calm me down."
"Why don't you tell hyung how your day was, then?" Younghoon suggested softly.
Juyeon immediately took his suggestion, talking about how he went for a swim as his morning exercise and then he explained about how his crew was worried about a particularly difficult move they weren't always able to pull off. Almost in a whisper, the youngest confessed: "the truth is, hyung, I think I'm feeling a bit lonely here. My crew is amazing, but I'm supposed to lead them here and thus... Well."
"I got it, Juyeonie." Younghoon reassured him. "Hyung is here to listen to you whenever you need."
"Yeah, your hyungs are here for you, Juyeonie! Hwaiting!" Hyunjae said suddenly, his chin coming to rest on Younghoon's shoulder.
Younghoon screeched and almost dropped his phone, hearing his laugh and also feeling as his body shook from it, since the other's chest was flush against his back. Juyeon was confused in the call, asking what had happened.
"Nothing, Juyeon! Younghoon is just too much of a scaredy cat."
"You literally come out of nowhere, making absolutely no noise... Seriously, Hyunjae, I could've fallen out of the balcony."
"You're standing like two feet away from the edge, dumbass."
"I would rather throw myself off the balcony than having to deal with a serial killer or ghost, and... Oh my gosh, Hyunjae, are you naked??"
Only receiving a laugh as a response, Younghoon was immediately aware of the warmth of Hyunjae's still damp skin against his own body. The thin fabric of his own shirt didn't really prevent him from being able to feel the smooth expanse of milky skin right against him. When he shuffled in place, he could swear he could even feel as Hyunjae's rigid nipple caught on the fabric of his shirt.
"Hyung, what are you even up to?" Juyeon's voice helped to ground him. Without thinking much about it, he hit the speakerphone button, so Hyunjae could hear as well.
"Nothing much." Hyunjae shrugged, his voice coated with faux innocence. "Today is a bit too hot for clothes, don't you think, Younghoon? Maybe we should get rid of yours too." As he said this, his finger circled the first button of his shirt, the one nearest to Younghoon's throat.
As Younghoon didn't do anything to stop him, Hyunjae busied himself with slowly unbuttoning the shirt, as the fabric loosened itself on Younghoon's shoulders, he also took his mouth there savoring the skin with long, languid licks and small bites.
As his breath turned more labored, Juyeon must've caught it on the call, because he asked. "Younghoon hyung, what's happening?".
"Hyunjae is unbuttoning my shirt." He answered matter-of-factly. Hyunjae snorted against his shoulder, his breath hot against his skin wet with saliva.
"You're no fun at all, Younghoon". He teased, laughing even louder, Juyeon's chuckle was also audible on the speakerphone. Younghoon felt embarrassed. "Aww, don't be shy. I'm not making fun of you, I just think it's cute how straightforward you are." Hyunjae kissed his cheek and tightened his embrace. "Let's make things easier, shall we?"
Hyunjae took the phone away from his hands, turning off the call. He then immediately dialed back up Juyeon's number, only this time he chose the video call setting.
Juyeon's face appeared on the phone's screen, it was just his face resting on a soft-looking pillow. He had a lazy smile on his lips and blinked slowly at them. "Hi. It's good to see the two of you." He said simply, his loving expression made it clear he meant every word.
"That's much better." Hyunjae declared, pushing the phone back onto Younghoon's hand. He went back to his ministrations, teasing the skin of Younghoon's shoulder with his teeth, while his hands were hard at work undoing the buttons from Younghoon's shirt.
Younghoon, even as he panted and pushed back against Hyunjae's body, couldn't take his eyes away from Juyeon, watching as the other's feline eyes narrowed down and darkened as he appreciated the view. He even saw the small twitch on Juyeon's lips as he touched them with his long fingers.
When Hyunjae was done with his shirt he moved on to undo Younghoon's pants, adding breathlessly against his ear that "It's unfair if I'm the only one naked here." He also pushed Younghoon against the railings in the balcony, dropping on his knees in front of him, while he pulled the jeans down.
Younghoon kept his arm extended holding the phone, turning to glance at Juyeon. "You look so beautiful, hyung." He received the compliment while hiding his face with his hand.
Hyunjae, meanwhile, didn't waste any time and mouthed against Younghoon's dick, dampening his boxer with saliva. Younghoon turned the phone downwards, in order to show Juyeon what he was seeing.
Suddenly, a notification jumped on his phone about how he was receiving another call, this time from the driver that was delivering their order. At this moment, Hyunjae looked up, his large eyes first setting on the phone then back on Younghoon's face. He blinked slowly as he nosed against the boxer, with Younghoon's dick twitching as it started getting hard from his ministrations.
"Hyunjae, stop. The food we ordered- I-" Younghoon tried.
"Just take the call, Younghoon". He simply said, as if he wasn't pulling the boxer down so he could lick right against the slit, eliciting a loud moan from Younghoon. "Keep it down, we do have neighbors here."
His brain wasn't really working as it should, as he had so many things to keep track of. Juyeon's eyes fixed on him on his phone, Hyunjae's mouth sucking at the head of his dick, and the poor driver trying to contact him to deliver the order.
So his horny mind decided the best thing to do was to put Juyeon's call on hold and pick up the one incoming from the driver. "Hello. Mr. Kim? I'm your Uber Eats driver today, I'm here with your order."
Younghoon was about to reply when Hyunjae licked the whole extension of the vein under his dick, so he instead clamped down, biting hard on his lip to hold back the moan that threatened to spill. He grabbed Hyunjae's blonde curls with more force than he intended to and pulled him away, hearing a whine in response.
He quickly begged the driver to come up and leave the order by the apartment's door or leave it with the apartment complex's security guard. The driver replied no problem and wished him a good night, as Younghoon made a mental note to give him a nice tip.
As soon as the call disconnected, Juyeon's face showed back up on the phone's screen. He looked somewhat concerned. Younghoon simply turned the phone back down to show him the state his boyfriend was in: on his knees, fully hard from sucking another man's dick, his head pulled back in an awkward angle, since Younghoon still held him in place.
"That's your hyung." He stated with severity. "He loves all the attention on him all the time, to the point he can't even let me take a call to accept the food I ordered for him."
"That's not very nice." Juyeon hummed. "Don't you think Hyunjae hyung needs to learn a lesson?"
At Juyeon's words, Younghoon decided what he wanted to do, so he loosened his grip on the other's hair and finally let go. "Get up." He ordered, and Hyunjae immediately obeyed, taking his own hand to his hair and brushing the strands where he had been grabbed. Younghoon added softly, almost in a whisper. "Did I hurt you?"
Hyunjae looked back at his worried expression and flashed him a smile, touching his forehead with the tip of his finger so he would stop furrowing his eyebrows. "It's fine, Younghoon."
"Hyung likes it rough." Juyeon supplied helpfully. "So you don't really need to have mercy on him."
"I don't intend to, Juyeonie." He took Hyunjae's hand and guided him towards the couple's bedroom, now familiar enough with their place that he felt comfortable in doing so. When they got there, their double bed in view, he pulled Hyunjae so he would stand in front of him. "Get in there, in all fours."
"And what if I say I don't want to?" Hyunjae asked, his expression teasing and defiant, as if he was daring Younghoon just to see how he would react. He even licked his lips, as he crooked his head.
"You want to." Younghoon answered, not sparing him a second glance as he walked towards the bedside table. He heard as Juyeon quietly chuckled.
As he collected what he needed, Hyunjae got ready on the bed, following Younghoon's instructions down to a tee. He walked back behind the other man, making sure to aim the camera so Juyeon would have the same view as he did: Hyunjae fully exposed to them.
"Spread your legs a bit more." Younghoon prompted, tapping Hyunjae's thigh. At this, he noticed a round of plastic stretching his hole, Younghoon circled his finger around that. "What is this, Hyunjae? Is that why you took so long in the shower earlier?"
He didn't receive an answer, so he tugged at the base of the toy and then pushed it back on again. He repeated this motion a few more times, pulling the toy until it was almost completely out, making sure it caught on the rim, before pushing it back again all at once. Hyunjae trembled with the effort to keep himself up in this position.
"Did you miss us this much, hyung?" Hyunjae stayed silent, the only noises coming from him were his pants, but he eventually nodded.
Younghoon pulled the toy fully out, as Hyunjae's hole gaped around nothing, already slick with some lube the other must've used to slide the buttplug inside in the first place. He pushed just his fingertip, watching as the hole twiched around his finger.
He removed it, hearing a noise from Hyunjae in complaint. Taking one of his hands to his buttcheek, Younghoon slowly caressed the supple skin in front of him, rubbing circles. "Isn't he pretty?" Younghoon asked, as he made sure the smartphone's camera was catching his motion.
"So fucking pretty." Juyeon replied, also seemingly out of breath.
At this, Younghoon raised his hand and let it fall heavily on the spot he had been touching just a second ago. Hyunjae yelped and lurched forward, but caught himself in time, remaining in the same position.
The skin was immediately pinkish from the impact. Younghoon went back to caressing it, soothing Hyunjae. "I think I can make him even prettier, Juyeon."
"Please do, hyung." Juyeon managed to get out, sounding somewhat strangled.
Younghoon moved forward and deposited the phone in front of Hyunjae, to make sure Juyeon could see his face. He moved back behind, not losing another second before letting his hand fall again on the same spot.
"Maybe you should help me count, Jaehyun. That was two. We should go to ten."
Hyunjae didn't say anything at first, breathing heavily and looking shaky. "Hyung, you were asked a question."
"Yes, I-I'll count." As soon as the words left his lips, Younghoon let his hand fall again, as heavy as the two previous times. "Thr-Three." Hyunjae squeaked out.
Younghoon gave him a moment to recover and then once again he hit him. He repeated this several times, enjoying as moans and gasps spilled from Hyunjae’s mouth and Juyeon’s breath became more heavy through the phone’s speakers. By the time Hyunjae counted "seven" out loud, his arms gave up on him. He fell to the bed, his face against the phone.
After waiting for a while, only Hyunjae's laboured breath audible, Younghoon helped him get back on position, even if this time he had to rest on his elbows, since his arms were too shaky to support himself as before. "We're almost done, you're doing great." He praised, brushing the other's ashy blonde curls away from his face. "Just three more."
Hyunjae nodded after a while and braced himself, as Younghoon once again let his hand fall on his behind. "Eight!". He counted, gasping the word out. This time, Younghoon didn't give him as much time before once again hitting on the same place. "N-Nine!"
"Just one more. Can you take it?" He gave a quick kiss to the bruised soft skin, then replaced his lips with his hand, rubbing feather-light circles.
"Yes. Please." Hyunjae sobbed out. And then after the last hit he counted "Ten!" and fell again to the bed, heaving against the phone.
"You did so well, hyung." Juyeon added. "I wish I was there with you."
Younghoon still caressed the angry-red skin, as well as the other's lower back. "Since you were so good for us, now it's time to reward you, right?"
He helped Hyunjae to slowly turn on his back on the bed. Now he could see that the blonde had a dazed expression on his flushed face, with his eyes glazed by tears that had cascaded and made tracks on his cheeks. Another thing Younghoon instantly noticed was how hard he was, his dick spilling precum all over itself.
He picked up the phone, in order to share the picture in front of him with Juyeon. For a moment, he thought about being meaner, about pushing the other even harder. Maybe tease him about how much he was enjoying it. But he didn't find it in himself to go even further. He loved how wrecked he had made Hyunjae and that was enough.
"You really made him even prettier, hyung." Juyeon purred on the phone.
That comment, for some reason, made Hyunjae curl in himself and cover his face with his hands, suddenly shy by the scrutiny of the other two. His long, delicate fingers covered his face demurely, hiding the blush that spread over his neck and chest as much as he could. "Don't do that, we love how pretty you are." Younghoon said fondly, feeling his own heart ache.
His declaration gave him pause, he had no idea how Juyeon and Hyunjae would react from the word "love" spilling from his lips. This place didn't belong to him, he was nothing but a guest or some entertainment for their relationship.
But he had been stupid and had started to grow feelings beyond what he was supposed to have. He loved seeing Hyunjae flushed and wrecked before him, almost as much as he loved his laugh and his strong, but kind personality. And he loved Juyeon's quiet presence, his soft chuckles and small comments, and how easy and comfortable it was to be with him. But he knew it wasn't his place to feel like that.
Almost fearfully he looked back to Hyunjae's face, as the other slowly moved his hands away from his face.
"Younghoon, Juyeonie, please." He begged, looking as he wasn't sure what exactly he was asking for. One of his hands sneaked towards his own cock, desperate for release. Younghoon grabbed his wrist and moved his hand to right above his head.
"No touching, Jaehyun." He chided, but Hyunjae was being stubborn and tried to do the same thing with his other hand. Younghoon deposited the phone on Hyunjae's chest and grabbed his other hand as well, repeating his previous movement. "Keep your hands here and don't move them."
"You're so mean." Hyunjae whined, enlacing Younghoon's back with his leg and pulling him closer. He stumbled, catching himself quickly on his arms before he actually fell on top of Hyunjae. Their erections brushed against each other, making both of them gasp.
"Didn't I tell you not to move?"
"You only told me to keep my hands put." He said primly, blinking his eyes slowly, innocently.
The smile broke in Younghoon's face before he could help it. A loud, affectionate laugh escaped him before he could school his face back to the serious, intimidating look he had been trying to upkeep. "You're impossible."
He locked his lips with Hyunjae's, kissing him deeply, exploring his mouth with his tongue. One of his hands came to cup Hyunjae's face, brushing his thumb over his cheek and enjoying how smooth his skin felt.
Younghoon was sure he could've stayed there kissing Hyunjae for hours, just enjoying how their lips slotted together and how their tongues would circle against one another, finding a leisurely rhythm. But he felt the hard metal case from his phone poking his chest. That almost made him panic about how long he had forgotten how they were still on call with Juyeon. He broke the kiss quickly, hearing a needy noise from Hyunjae, and checked the phone.
In its screen, he could see that Juyeon looked almost as wrecked as his boyfriend did. His feline eyes almost completely closed, his face moist by sweat, parted lips as his breath came out in puffs.
"Poor Juyeonie." Younghoon said as he angled the phone so Hyunjae could see how their dongsaeng looked.
"Hyung..." Juyeon started babbling as soon as he heard his name. "I-I'm so close."
"Are you touching yourself, Ju?"
"N-No. 'm not, I stopped. I want to come with you two. Younghoon hyung, please." Younghoon felt as if Juyeon was looking straight at him, as he begged.
Younghoon pushed himself away from Hyunjae, in order to reach the bedside table and grab the lube bottle and a condom. "Who am I to deny anything my lovely dongsaeng asks of me?"
He gave the phone back to Hyunjae, as he had his hands busy. As fast as he could, he ripped the condom package open and slid it onto his dick. Younghoon might've poured way more lube than he intended, but he made it a show of anointing his own cock, especially since Hyunjae had the phone's camera pointed at him.
Juyeon's face on the screen left it clear that the dongsaeng was enjoying the show. "I'm sorry, Juyeonie. Your hyungs got distracted and neglected you." Hyunjae cooed, his expression infatuated.
"No, hyung. I love- I love seeing the two of you together". Juyeon confessed, sounding a bit embarrassed.
Younghoon didn't know what to do with this information, only that Juyeon's words went straight to his dick, and he decided it would be best not to dwell on it for now. He adjusted himself against Hyunjae's entrance, pulling the other's legs to wrap around his waist.
He exchanged looks with Hyunjae. Only after he heard another "Please." that he actually started moving, entering him all in one go. Hyunjae gasped and his back arched from the bed.
With the hand that wasn't holding one of Hyunjae's legs, he grabbed the phone again, in order to show Juyeon how Hyunjae's hole swallowed his dick. He set a furious pace, since he was sure that all three of them were at their limit.
Hyunjae let him know when he finally hit his prostate, letting out an embarrassingly loud moan. He covered his face almost instantly, biting his own wrist and palm in order to silence himself. "No, Jaehyun. Let Juyeon see and hear you. I want him to see how much you love taking my dick".
Younghoon slowed down to a torturous slow pace, untill Hyunjae finally obeyed and uncovered his face, instead grabbing the bed sheets to the point his knuckles were white from the force. Younghoon went back to the previous rhythm he had set, moving almost all the way out and then back inside again.
The tightness in his lower abdomen increased, as his orgasm approached. He was getting there, and judging from Hyunjae's expression and Juyeon's gasps, they were close too. So he let go of Hyunjae's thigh in order to stroke his cock, collecting the precum that beaded on its slit.
"Fucking finally." Hyunjae squeaked out, throwing his head back against the mattress. Younghoon let out a short huff of laughter, only Hyunjae could complain so much on the brink of an orgasm.
His balance faltered for a moment, as he was in a very awkward position, trying to get Hyunjae off, get himself off and also use the phone to show Juyeon what he was doing. "Younghoon hyung, I want to see you too." Juyeon's strangled whine broke him out of the stupor he was in and he looked confused to the phone he had in his hand, still aimed at Hyunjae under him. "I want to see you when you come."
Hyunjae grabbed the phone out of his hand and told him to keep going. Younghoon then firmed his now free hand against the mattress and went at it, chasing the relief they had been craving for so long.
Juyeon feverishly called both of their names, in between gasps for air. Younghoon could tell their dongsaeng was close. He looked down at Hyunjae, admiring his face, contorted in his desperation for relief, and the only thing he could think of was how much he wanted to kiss him. Hyunjae raised his hand and cupped Younghoon's face, slightly smiling at him.
From the phone, Juyeon's voice sounded panicked, as he told them he was coming. "You can come, love." Hyunjae answered, right before he grabbed Younghoon by his nape and pulled him down for a kiss.
Their lips crashed against each other and their laboured breaths made it hard to properly lock their lips together. Hyunjae gasped against his mouth, spilling his load on Younghoon's hand, who could feel as his insides spasmed and contracted against his cock.
"Younghoonie." Hyunjae called his name, looking blissed out, as he pulled Younghoon even closer to him in an embrace.
He didn't last much more than that, erratically moving his hips as he chased his release. He could hear Hyunjae gasping and shivering from overstimulation. Then suddenly he saw white and also felt as he finally came inside Hyunjae, filling the condom.
Younghoon felt so spent and tired that he barely managed to pull out of Hyunjae only to fall back on top of him. "You're heavy." Hyunjae complained, but didn't try to move, instead peppering Younghoon's cheek with kisses. "Still there, Juyeonie?"
"Yes, hyung. That was- I needed that. That was amazing." He sounded absolutely exhausted, dragging the words, as if he was about to fall asleep at any second.
"I'm glad, Juyeonie. You should sleep, you have a big day tomorrow." Hyunjae said, bringing the phone closer to his face. "Go rest."
"I love you, hyung." Juyeon smiled.
"I love you too." His boyfriend answered.
Younghoon awkwardly moved aside, as the couple exchanged goodbyes and wishes for a good night. He rolled on the bed and promptly sat up, even if he still felt light-headed. He tied up the condom and threw it on the floor, feeling disgusted. Suddenly, it felt too much, as if he was an intruder where he didn't belong.
He vaguely registered that Juyeon had said a goodbye directed at him, as well as something else. He wasn't really paying attention. Brushing his hair with his fingers, he tried to ground himself from the wonderful bliss he had felt just moments ago. Now, however, he felt dread growing on his chest and an awful feeling sunk in his stomach.
Hyunjae set the phone aside, having disconnected the call. "I think I should go." Younghoon started, a bit unsure of himself. He looked straight ahead to the mirror on the wall, feeling sickened by his own face.
"No, don't leave, Younghoon. Stay here with me?" Hyunjae intertwined their fingers, before pulling his hand and placing a kiss there. "Please?"
Younghoon wanted to cry, and scream, and run away, and hide. But he did none of those things, he instead pulled Hyunjae into a hug, enveloping him with his arms. His nose tucked against the ashy blond curls, the smell both of Hyunjae's floral shampoo as well as the one from sex was intoxicating to him. For some reason that made him want to cry even more.
At first, Hyunjae only rubbed circles against his back and hummed, as if enjoying the warmth in their naked bodies so close together.
After a long while, the blonde risked talking again. "Younghoon? What happened?"
He thought about being honest and telling him. 'I can't stay here with you. In fact, I don't want to come here ever again. I feel like I leave a piece of my own heart here each time I come.' But how could he even start to phrase this so Hyunjae would understand?
Younghoon pulled back from the embrace, not as much because he wanted to, but rather because he didn't want to make the other uncomfortable. He looked at Hyunjae's face, his startled eyes looked at him, as if he was trying to search Younghoon's face for the reason he was acting like that.
"Nothing." The lie left his lips leaving a bitter taste behind. He swallowed but felt his throat constrict around a sob, and his eyes burned as he tried to hold the tears back. "I- I should leave." He managed to get out, but Hyunjae didn't let him go, holding his hand firmly.
"You're clearly not okay, Younghoon." He looked hesitant, worrying his lower lip and then wetting it with his tongue. An action that now Younghoon recognized as a nervous habit. "How about this: we don't have to talk if you don't want to. But I want- I would like it if you stayed here."
Younghoon eventually nodded, not sure if he would be able to get a word past the lump in his throat. Hyunjae squeezed his hand and then walked towards the bathroom.
When he returned, a few moments later, he announced he had drawn a bath for Younghoon. "If you want to, I mean." He quickly amended. "I think it would help you feel better."
With a simple nod in response, Younghoon moved on to the bathroom. He got inside the tub, enjoying as the warm water helped his body relax. There, he thought about how he was feeling and what he wanted to do.
A traitorous little voice inside his head told him he should just deal with that later, that he should go back to bed and cuddle with Hyunjae. But Younghoon knew it wasn't fair to do so, feeling as he was. He rehearsed in his mind what he was going to say, envisioning all sorts of scenarios that could happen.
Then, when he felt as ready as he could, he got up from the water that had long gone cold and quickly dried off with a towel. Younghoon walked from the bathroom, looking for Hyunjae inside the apartment, finding him sitting by the balcony, eating the food that he had ordered hours ago.
"Jaehyun." The other looked back at him, his expression still one of concern and worry. "We need to talk."
When Younghoon arrived home, way later than he firstly anticipated, he hoped his roommates would be sleeping, so he would be able to avoid them. But Chanhee and Changmin were cuddling on the couch, watching Netflix and waiting for him.
One look at their hyung's face, swollen, red and still wet from tears was enough for the two friends to guess what happened. Chanhee opened up his arms, inviting him for a hug, while Changmin went over to the kitchen to fetch the leftover brownies and icecream from their dinner with Kevin.
Younghoon opened up his mouth to start talking, to tell his friends that they were right about everything. But a sob escaped instead and more tears followed, as he buried his face on Chanhee's shoulder. With his friends rubbing circles on his back, he focused on breathing and gathering his thoughts.