Work Text:
It wasn’t hard to fall in love with Mina.
Momo didn’t really mean to; they had been friends ever since they met as trainees and over the years their bond had only grown stronger. Momo would have been perfectly content to keep it that way for the rest of their lives because she genuinely loved being Mina’s friend. But feelings are complicated and thank god it wasn’t all up to her how their relationship would develop. Years later, their friends would joke about how inevitable it was for them to fall in love with each other and get together because something about their relationship had always been different compared to their relationships with the other members. That includes Sana, who was probably the member closest to them due to their shared experience as Japanese members in a K-Pop group. They were close to all of them but something between Momo and Mina was just different. It had been that way since the beginning, but it became a lot more obvious once Mina started slowly realizing that she might have a minor crush on their main dancer.
Looking back at it, Momo will forever wonder how she managed to miss all the signs. It seems like everyone but her could tell that Mina had feelings for her. It was the small things that made it obvious. Mina’s lingering touches after Momo helped her get out of the car, her laugh being slightly higher and louder than normal after Momo told even the dumbest of jokes or how she would ask Momo for help with the choreographies for their older songs, when everyone knew that she could do them in her sleep. But even apart from all the things Mina said and did, Momo should have been able to tell from the members’ snickers and teasing remarks anytime Mina interacted with her. Like when they all conveniently had plans on Valentine’s Day and left a blushing Mina and a confused Momo behind in their dorm with the encouraging words: “Have fun lovebirds!” Nayeon’s “I don’t want to know what you just did in there” comment after Mina and Momo had exited a changing room together will forever haunt Momo even though she had only helped Mina because the zipper of her dress had got stuck. Every time Mina asked any of the members if they wanted to join her to go grocery shopping they collectively told her to “go ask Momo” and only agreed to go with her if she managed to provide some sort of proof that Momo did not want to or could not join her. They all meant well though. It was not hard for them to see that these two liked each other even when Momo hadn’t realized it yet and all the teasing was accompanied by wholesome talks with both of them to make sure they were comfortable and knew how much the members loved them. Momo will forever laugh about Jeongyeon giving her what she titled “the love talk”, which was essentially just her re-telling the plot of The Great Gatsby and somehow concluding it with “you should love who you love regardless of everything and be brave and tell them how you feel so you can be with them because otherwise you will regret it for the rest of your life”, which is honestly not a bad piece of advice but since Momo was at that point still blissfully unaware of her feelings, she just thanked her for the talk by giving her a high-five and left the room to make some popcorn. The fact that she ended up watching The Great Gatsby with Mina in her bed is something that Jeongyeon immediately added to her speech for their inevitable wedding.
But just because Momo hadn’t noticed her feelings for Mina doesn’t mean they weren’t there. Her body apparently knew about them a lot sooner than her brain; her arms automatically linking with Mina’s when the girl was anywhere near her, her eyes always searching for the other Japanese dancer when they had official appearances as Twice and she found herself declining offers to go out in favor of staying in with Mina and watching her steal beds of villagers in Minecraft a lot more often than before. Instead of ordering takeout she started texting Mina “I’m hungry”, only to be sitting in the kitchen twenty minutes later with a grin on her face while watching the girl cook some food for them both. Mina’s annoyed expression was so clearly fake that it would get her barred from ever acting in the future if any of their managers saw. They established routines and habits completely by accident, their daily rhythms synching without them really realizing. Neither of them is the type to get up early in the morning if they don’t have to, so they end up sleeping in and brushing their teeth together side by side even when more than one bathroom is unoccupied. Mina’s scream when Momo splashes cold water on her quickly becomes Momo’s favorite sound in the morning followed by their joint laughter.
Mina regularly needs time to be alone and Momo can always tell when the other girl wants her to leave for a bit. She uses that time to do all the things she has always done before her life started to revolve around Mina. Going shopping with Nayeon, having dinner with Sana and doing Vlives with Chaeyoung are still just as fun as before and that is probably why she doesn’t realize that things have changed for her. Things were so normal except for when they weren’t but Momo’s brain refused to acknowledge that and just stored every interaction she had with Mina in a folder called “close friendship” instead of taking a second out of its busy day to actually think about why things were suddenly different with Mina.
And maybe things would have been forever like that if there hadn’t been this incident. It was late at night and Mina and Momo were sitting on the couch in the living room of their dorm. All the other members had gone to bed already but neither of them felt like sleeping yet. Their evening had been rather pleasant, they had watched horror movies because it was Tzuyu and Chaeyoung’s turn to pick a genre and the movies had been so bad that they turned it into a drinking game; everyone having to take a shot when something ridiculous happened. Bottle after bottle of Soju ended up empty on the floor and slowly but surely the members’ drunk personalities started to appear. Jihyo decided to take Sana to bed after the girl had sat in her lap, softly stroking her hair and giving her a fifteen minute speech on how beautiful she really is both on the inside and on the outside; and maybe Jihyo would have let her continue if she hadn’t said “And don’t let me get started on your boobs, Jihyo, they are wonderful!” because their leader took that opportunity to respond with “Okay, I won’t!” and carefully stood up, softly carrying the Japanese girl into her bedroom, but only after Sana had kissed everyone goodnight. Nayeon and Jeongyeon ended up fighting about whether the red M&M or the yellow one was actually the better one. However, they quickly resolved things after Jeongyeon had gone into the kitchen to get a glass of water and they both ended up crying because in those two minutes they had missed each other too much. Dahyun, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu had dance practice in the morning so they decided to call it a night and take the two oldest members to bed, leaving only Mina and Momo sitting on the couch. Both of them were very much tipsy but nowhere near being wasted. Mina’s eyes had been fixated on Momo the entire evening; it was like as if a magnetic force kept her from looking away. Now that they were alone, Momo was studying Mina as well. The moles on her face were fascinating to Momo and she wondered if you could come up with fun constellations like with one of those “connect the dots” things. She was so focused on staring that she completely missed Mina talking to her and only realized her mistake when Mina’s whole body started shaking from giggles.
“What?” Momo asks, cheeks rosy from the alcohol she had consumed tonight and the embarrassment from being caught not paying attention.
“I asked if you like what you see” Mina tells her amused, still a shit-eating grin on her face and Momo’s mouth feels suddenly dry; she had forgotten how Mina gets when she is tipsy: flirty.
“I don’t hate it” she counters. Not a lie but certainly the understatement of the year.
“I like it when you stare at me.” If Mina’s husky voice doesn’t take her out, her biting her lower lip absolutely will.
“I wasn’t staring” she denies to no avail. She hadn’t exactly been subtle.
Mina just smirks, her eyes staring straight into hers and it feels like she could read Momo like an open book. Momo feels vulnerable, like she can’t hide under Mina’s gaze, but it isn’t uncomfortable. Throughout her entire life and career Momo had learnt to always keep secrets and never let anyone in on her personal feelings and thoughts but right now in that moment, Momo is ready to throw all those principles out the window. Because letting somebody in is only dangerous if that somebody is an evil person that could use the newly acquired information to hurt her, but Momo knows that Mina would never do that. She trusts Mina with her life, there is no reason to shut her out. So she lets her in.
“Okay, then what do you call it when somebody looks fixedly at someone with their eyes wide open?” Mina asks and she is close now; Momo only realized how close when she felt a hot stream of air hit her skin. She tries to convince herself that that is the reason why she suddenly has goosebumps everywhere. Her voice is shaky when she responds.
“You’re kinda annoying, do you know that?” she tells her, the remark lacking any sort of bite whatsoever, Mina’s widening smile signaling her that she understood its harmless nature.
“I think you actually like that, Momo.”
Drunk Mina saying her name should not sound as hot as it does, but it makes Momo feel things deep inside her stomach where hunger and pain are the only emotions she should be able to feel – this feeling being neither of those. Maybe she is sick, maybe that’s why her head is spinning and her hands are shaking slightly, maybe all that Soju is driving her crazy or maybe it’s Mina’s perfume that is clouding all her senses and now Mina is not only everything she sees, hears and feels but also everything she smells. There’s only one sense left that hasn’t been completely overtaken by the beautiful girl in front of her.
“Shut up.” It’s said playfully but Momo doesn’t smile. This answer is the pitiful product of what her body is still capable of producing. If Momo were fighting the inevitable, she would be losing pathetically.
It feels like Mina hasn’t stopped smirking since the beginning of this conversation and it’s as if she could tell what’s going on inside Momo’s head when she moves even closer, her knees sliding between Momo’s legs. Their faces are only centimeters apart when she whispers:
“Make me.”
-
Momo leans in. The kiss is hard but not in an uncomfortable way. You could feel the pent-up tension and the sparkling desire partially liberated due to the alcohol they had consumed earlier but amongst the tentative lip biting, the clashing of teeth and the almost desperate exploring of the other one’s body with their hands, Momo felt a warmth in her stomach that was separate from the excitement she was feeling in between her legs. Mina’s moan when she sucks particularly hard at a spot on the left side of her neck causes a jolt of electricity to go through Momo’s body and finally every single one of her senses is occupied by one thing only: Mina. It’s driving her insane in the best way possible.
-
They don’t have sex that night. They kiss and they make out but they don’t sleep with each other. They don’t talk either, but after the initial hit of adrenaline leaves their bodies, everything becomes softer, which is probably a good thing judging by the way Mina’s breathing sounds like she is three seconds away from suffocating to death. When they pull apart Momo cannot help but smile at the girl in front of her. She still has her eyes closed and if the deep blush on her face is anything to go by, she has enjoyed their prior activities a lot. Momo has never seen anyone as attractive as Mina.
“Do you like what you see?” Mina asks, her eyes still closed but a smirk has found its way on her face.
Momo just groans. Not this again.
“Shut up,” she laughs. Her eyes go wide, she instantly regrets the comment but it’s too late.
Mina’s eyes are already on her; wide open and sparkling even in the dull lighting of their living room. It is almost too easy for her, but she has been yearning to kiss Momo for a while now, so she’ll be damned if she doesn’t just take the opportunity for some more physical affection from the girl.
She’s sitting on top of Momo now and therefore has to lean down a bit to reach the other girl’s lips. Momo’s hands are on her hips and it feels like they are setting Mina’s skin on fire. She has her hands on Momo’s neck so she can feel the other girl’s pulse going crazily fast. It sends a spark through her body; she loves knowing that Momo is enjoying this just as much as she is. Mina chooses to ignore the gnawing thought in the back of her mind that asks what if Momo only wants to enjoy the physical aspects of this and has no interest in pursuing anything relating to feelings. Instead, she lets herself enjoy something she has been dreaming of so much, that she at times had to actively stop herself from just walking up to Momo and kissing her in front of everyone because it was all she could think about. Mina knows that she is in love with Momo, but tonight isn’t really about that. They are cautiously exploring each other through hesitant movements and awkward mistakes that leads to them learning to understand the other’s body. It feels too good for Mina to complain and she decides that she is in no rush.
Before she fully closes the gap between them, Mina whispers against Momo’s lips.
“Make me.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Being in love with Mina wasn’t hard either.
Actually, it was so easy that Momo didn’t even realize that she was for a while.
After the incident they went to bed. Since Jeongyeon was apparently staying with Nayeon, they had Momo’s room for themselves and ended up kissing and cuddling until the sun slowly started rising again and their lack of sleep paired with the many glasses of Soju knocked them out.
-
They became nearly inseparable after that night. The kissing didn’t stop, but they never talked about it nor did they tell the members. There was a certain charm to sneaking into the bathroom to make out while the others were engaging in an intense fight about Nayeon potentially cheating at Monopoly. Every once in a while, they came close to being caught when members or managers randomly checked up on them but they somehow always managed to jump apart fast enough to look anything but suspicious. The rush it gives them makes them only want to do it more.
-
But despite the behaving like horny teenagers being enjoyable, Mina wants more from this. So she starts taking Momo on dates. It is almost funny how easily Momo agrees to everything Mina proposes. They visit aquariums and attend piano recitals. Momo falls in love with the food at restaurants that are expensive even for them, but Mina just hands the waitress her card with an amused smile. Momo pays for their movie tickets and the popcorn even though Mina got to choose the movie and while it does pain her a little bit that Mina made her promise not to speak during the entire movie, she just spends the majority of the time staring at the girl next to her; her beauty leaves her automatically speechless. Something about how intensely Mina focuses on the movie and how she bites her lip when she is trying to figure things out before they are actually shown in the movie, leaves Momo in a kind of frustrated state. She lets go of Mina’s hand and instead puts it on her thigh, her thumb rubbing circles before she slowly lets it wander higher. The movie theater is dark, not even the movie provides much light, but Momo can still recognize how red Mina’s face is despite her pretending that nothing’s happening. Although Momo is a little desperate, she isn’t about to do something like that in a movie theater, even if it is completely empty. At least for now. However, she does allow her mind to wander and imagine what it would feel like to sleep with Mina.
-
Turns out, she doesn’t have to imagine for long. Momo’s teasing had a lasting effect on the other girl and when they came home to a miraculously empty dorm, they barely remembered to lock the door before tearing off each other’s clothes and falling into Momo’s bed. Both of them are filled with desire to the point that they have trouble breathing before they even get to start. But kissing and making out is easy for them now, having done it a lot in recent history, and they are familiar with each other’s bodies now in ways that come in very handy. It ends up being great despite Momo awkwardly needing a couple attempts to find that spot that makes Mina’s entire body ache and her hands aggressively hold onto the bedsheets, and Mina nearly dying from embarrassment after realizing how loud she had been while riding out her orgasm. Momo’s kisses and reassuring touches do wonders though, and after Momo seductively whispered “I like it when you’re vocal; it lets me know that I’m doing well” into her ear, Mina is okay again, making a mental note to always express it when Momo’s doing a good job.
Nayeon will never stop teasing Mina about the fact that she dropped the L-word for the first time during their after-sex cuddles and Momo would defend the Japanese girl if she didn’t look as adorable in her flustered state with pink cheeks and red ears. Mina doesn’t regret saying it back then, when they were basking in the warmth between their naked bodies, under the soft covers of Momo’s bed. All her senses were completely overtaken by Momo and it was like as if she was underwater. Her mind was racing and she felt like she would explode if she didn’t just tell her. She had spent so much time worrying about the possible consequences of voicing her feelings towards the dancer but after saying it, all she could feel was relief washing over her and Momo’s strong arms holding her close provided all the comfort she needed in that moment.
Sana will never stop scolding Momo for replying to Mina’s “I love you” with a simple “Thank you” and Momo doesn’t even complain about that because she knows she kind of deserves it. Momo still remembers the panic she felt inside after Mina had shared that sentiment with her but everything about Mina in that moment had let her know that she wasn’t looking for a rushed answer. Her soft hands holding onto Momo’s strong shoulders, her warm breath on the side of Momo’s neck and her shaking voice when she had said those words – they made it clear that Mina was sharing this because she wanted Momo to know, not because she wanted to hear it back. That doesn’t really mean that Momo’s choice of answer was a good one, but Mina understood her anyways. Their bond often transcended the need for words.
They kept their relationship hidden from the other members, unspoken worries about how it could affect the group being their reasoning. But hiding something doesn’t automatically mean that you are doing a good job at it. Knowing looks and amused smiles were shared amongst the other members and if Mina and Momo weren’t constantly so engrossed with each other, they might have realized that they were being a lot more obvious than they thought. Maybe then they would have also questioned why Jeongyeon was so adamant about switching beds with Mina.
-
For Easter the group was in the mood for gifts, so they decided to play a round of “Secret Santa,” which they creatively called “Secret Easter Bunny”. It was as if the universe had a plan for them when Mina opened the paper she had drawn, only to be met with the name she had been moaning earlier today in a dressing room.
-
When Mina puts her present for Momo on the table designated for that purpose, she can already more or less envision how the members are going to react to her gift. Everything else on the table was in a cute little giftbag while her present was a huge and comparatively heavy box. She rolled her eyes and decided not to care about the inevitable teasing she will have to endure after Momo opens it.
-
“A Switch?” Jeongyeon gasps after Momo opened her present.
“Oh, and Animal Crossing!” Momo adds, happily holding a download code for the game.
Everyone’s eyes immediately snap towards Mina.
“It’s Easter, you were supposed to buy her a chocolate bunny, not drop 500 bucks on a present!” Jihyo complains.
Mina blushes but tries to defend herself. “You don’t even know if it was from me!”
She looks at Momo, hoping for some sort of reassurance but instead her eyes find a huge smirk on the girl’s face telling her she is very much enjoying this situation right now. At least she liked her present.
“Oh come on!” Chaeyoung yells with her face in her hands.
“Mina unnie, no one else here is insane enough to buy someone a Switch for Easter,” Tzuyu remarks amusedly which causes Mina to drop her head in shame.
“Okay but let me explain,” she begs. “At night she always watches me play Animal Crossing and I just thought I’d be nice to have someone to play Animal Crossing with.”
“YOU HAVE ME TO PLAY ANIMAL CROSSING WITH!” Nayeon screams fully offended, making them all laugh.
“I know I know I’m sorry!” Mina tells her, “But you have a functioning sleep schedule and I need someone to play with me at 3 am sometimes.”
Nayeon just shakes her head. “I can’t believe this, Myoui.”
Momo, who is still laughing from all this drama, chooses this moment to speak up.
“Thanks, Mina! I love-“ she catches herself and swallows hard. She finishes with “it.”
Everybody else was completely unaware of the significance of this almost slip up and even Mina didn’t notice it because her mind was still caught up on the members teasing her.
“You’re welcome,” Mina tells her softly and the genuine happiness she can see on Momo’s face makes up for everything.
“I can’t believe your Mina’s sugar baby now!” Sana suddenly states looking directly at Momo.
Dahyun gasps and joins the teasing. “So this is Mina’s way of paying you for the sex!”
“Why would she pay me for the sex?” Momo asks confused, “I like it just as much as she does.”
Mina’s eyes go wide but before she can say something, Nayeon is already capitalizing of Momo’s mistake.
“So you admit that you’re having sex with her?” she asks, seductively raising her eyebrows.
“I-“ Momo starts but Mina decides to put her out of her misery and just answers for the both of them. “Yes, we are.”
They had both been worried about this moment even though they never talked about it but the cheers and hugs and high-fives they are receiving from the other members quickly soothe their worries.
“How are you both sleeping with each other and neither of you told me about it?” Sana asks with a laugh.
“We didn’t want you to feel weird,” Momo answers honestly.
“And we knew that this could potentially jeopardize the group,” Mina adds, immediately feeling Momo’s hand slip into hers after the other girl had noticed her voice shaking. She thanks her with a small smile in return.
“That’s very considerate of you,” Jihyo says, clearly being in her leader role for a second, “but we’ve all been rooting for you for a while now and we’re collectively happy about this, so please don’t feel like your relationship is a burden to this group. Twice is the strongest when we’re all happy and if you make each other happy then you’re strengthening the group not endangering it.”
“We love you two,” Nayeon declares with a smile and they all hug again.
Jeongyeon whispers “Congratulations” into their ears, conveying how much love she has for the both of them.
“Thank you!” Mina replies, her soft voice nearly breaking from the whirlwind of emotions she’s feeling right now.
She turns her head to the right to look at Momo, whose hand she’s miraculously still holding, just to see silent tears streaming down the dancer’s face.
“Baby!” slips out of Mina’s mouth without her even realizing.
-
Later that evening, they are lying on their shared bed, both holding their respective Switch.
“Come visit my island!” Momo pleads with the biggest pout on her face, making Mina laugh.
“I’ll be right there, I just gotta get some things first,” she tells her.
Momo groans exasperatedly. “Hurry up!”
“Yes, Ma’am!” Mina answers and jokingly salutes her.
“Can you see the name of my island?” Momo asks impatiently.
“ILoveUMina,” Mina reads slowly. After a couple seconds she looks up directly into Momo’s eyes. “What a terrible name for an island,” she says with a completely straight face.
Momo’s face twists from both surprise and offense but before she even gets the chance to say something, Mina is already attacking her with kisses.
“I love you, too, Hirai Momo. I love you so much, it actually pains me at times,” she admits softly.
“Why?” Momo questions after another deep kiss, slightly frowning.
“Because I don’t think I could ever live without you again,” Mina confesses, allowing herself to be vulnerable in front of the girl she loves.
“You don’t have to. I’m here and I’ll never leave.”
-
“Thank you for the Switch,” Momo murmurs into Mina’s stomach, making her feel the vibrations caused by the closeness before going lower and putting her mouth where Mina desperately wants it to be. In return, Mina slides her hand into Momo’s hair and pulls on it just enough to elicit a groan from her.
“Thanks for the sex,” Mina whispers causing them both to laugh.
“Shut up,” Momo demands amusedly.
Mina giggles. “Make me.”
-
“How is she not your girlfriend yet?” Jeongyeon asks flabbergasted.
“I don’t know,” Momo defends herself, “it just never came up!”
Jeongyeon massages her temples with both hands.
“Momo,” she starts slowly, “sometimes you’re super smart but other times you’re also really dumb. This is one of those moments where you’re dumb.”
Momo winces. “I guess…”
“What are you waiting for?” Jeongyeon asks with a laugh. “Go and ask her!”
-
“Here, this is for you,” Momo tells the blonde girl who is currently building LEGO Hogwarts in their room.
“Thank you!” Mina replies with a hint of confusion in her voice but taking the singular daisy Momo is holding out for her.
The dancer rubs the back of her neck nervously. Why is she suddenly nervous?
“You might have to return that though,” Momo informs her, “I might have possibly just stolen this from Tzuyu.”
Mina laughs. “Okay?”
She is expectantly looking at her lover, clearly anticipating some explanation for her weird behavior.
Momo takes a deep breath.
“Mina,” she starts.
“That is my name,” Mina responds cheekily and Momo cannot help but groan and roll her eyes.
“Please, I’m being serious here,” she begs.
“I’m sorry, please go on,” Mina apologizes but her eyes are still sparkling with amusement.
Momo takes a moment to appreciate what is in front of her. The most beautiful girl she has ever seen, the person she loves more than anyone or anything else on earth building a LEGO Harry Potter set while listening to “U Can’t Touch This” – Momo knows that she isn’t about to ask Mina to marry her but in that moment she fully realizes that she wants to be with the girl in front of her for a very long time. Her heart is still beating fast and her breathing is irregular but her mind is clear when she takes Mina’s hands softly into hers, brushing over them with her thumbs and looking directly into those brown eyes she has been drowning in for months now despite her taking so long to realize it.
She smiles at Mina and when Mina smiles back, she feels a warmth in her stomach that is all the encouragement she needed.
“Will you be my girlfriend?”
Mina just stares at her and for a couple seconds everything is silent except for Mina’s phone still playing the stupid MC Hammer song.
“Yes!” she exclaims and jumps into Momo’s arms before kissing her excitedly.
“To be honest, I thought we already were girlfriends,” she admits with a laugh, “Nayeon had reassured me that if we go on dates, we have sex and we say “I love you” to each other, then we absolutely are girlfriends.”
Momo thinks about this. “You know that actually makes sense, but Jeongyeon told me that one of us has to ask the question, otherwise we wouldn’t officially be girlfriends.”
“Well at least now we have a date for when our kids ask us about our anniversary,” Mina states confidently.
Momo’s eyes go wide. “Are you planning on getting me pregnant, Ms. Myoui?” she asks in mock shock causing Mina to laugh.
“One day I will,” Mina tells her with a wink.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What was hard, however, was learning to live her life without Mina there.
She still vividly remembers all the bad things that had happened before Mina decided to take a break, all the tears her girlfriend had shed, the pain in her eyes when she was falling apart in Momo’s arms, breaking from the pressure on her shoulders and the panic cursing through her veins. Momo knows that Mina absolutely made the right decision when she announced her hiatus and she was glad that the other members, their company and even the majority of the fans were very understanding and told her to take all the time she needed to get well again.
But Momo also hasn’t forgotten how empty she felt on the inside when she accompanied Mina to the airport to send her off to Japan with her mother. She had had to kiss her goodbye at the dorm, which hurt more than she wanted to admit and the five minute long hug she gave her before Mina boarded the plane did not feel like it was nearly enough to comfort Mina when she was shaking from tears.
The members tried their best to cheer Momo up, to keep her mind off worrying about her girlfriend and instead make her focus on happier things. But the others were also struggling with adjusting to the new situation, in the middle of their first world tour and having to prepare a comeback. It wasn’t easy for any of Twice.
Momo was quieter during their following appearances and she felt bad for the fans but every time she caught herself subconsciously looking for the familiar figure of her favorite person on stage she felt a sharp pain in her chest and she had to turn around to hide the tears that had started to form in her eyes.
Jihyo and Sana took it upon themselves to make sure that Momo was eating because ever since Mina had left, Momo had completely lost her appetite. How could she enjoy delicious food while her girlfriend was struggling and in pain hundreds of kilometers away from her?
When she was lying in bed at night her thoughts started to drive her crazy which is why she found herself slipping into the beds of the other members more often than not in hopes of finding at least an ounce of sleep.
Momo was struggling but she couldn’t even imagine what Mina must be going through. They tried to stay in contact as best as they could but Momo was traveling the world and the different time zones made everything even harder. On top of that, Twice’s schedule was packed, from rehearsals and concerts to interviews and public appearances. Sometimes she was too exhausted to text Mina more than a simple “I love you”.
She missed Mina like crazy. During dance practice she found herself searching for Mina when they were learning the “Fancy” choreography. Momo went through all the steps perfectly but something seemed slightly off. She wanted to ask their dance teacher, but multiple members were struggling severely with certain parts of the choreo and he was trying to help them, so she didn’t want to bother him. Usually she would have found Mina and she would have watched her perform and told her what she was doing wrong because for some reason Mina was absolutely incredible at reading and understanding Momo’s dancing. Between the two of them, Momo was without a doubt the better dancer but Mina was a bit better when it came to the theoretical side of dancing. While Momo creates choreographies through trying out many different moves in different orders pretty much based on the trial-and-error method, Mina can think up entire choreographies without ever acting them out. They have different approaches, none is better than the other, instead they complement each other and every time they work together on a project they end up with an enhanced product compared to what they would have been able to come up individually. So it really sucks to not have Mina there because she has questions that the other members wouldn’t understand or wouldn’t be able to answer but she also knows that there is no way for her to leave this practice room without figuring out her problem. That’s why she bids the members goodbye after their teacher had ended this exhausting session, telling them that she still needs to work on a few moves. The members understand of course, being fully aware of how much of a perfectionist Momo is when it comes to dancing.
“Just don’t stay too long!” Jihyo tells her and Nayeon promises her that she will come home to some Jokbal waiting for her.
Once everything is quiet and Momo is sure that she is alone in that part of the building, she starts a video call with Mina. It takes a good thirty seconds that feel like months to her, but Mina eventually picks up and Momo’s mood immediately improves after seeing the familiar smile of the girl she is so painfully in love with.
“Baby, I was just thinking about you!” Mina starts and Momo can’t help but laugh because she can’t remember the last time she wasn’t thinking about Mina. Her mind is always filled with her girlfriend even when she is doing other things.
“Why? Were you having… thoughts?” she teases.
The soft blush taking over Mina’s face is enough to make Momo’s heart race.
“No, actually we just had dinner and it was really delicious and I know you would have liked it as well especially the Unadon” Mina answers with a chuckle. “But I do have thoughts sometimes” she adds, her voice barely above a whisper but Momo catches it anyways.
Her heart aches because there are a million things Momo wants to do to her girlfriend, but they all involve physical contact and that is the one thing she cannot have right now.
“God, I miss you” she says instead, dropping her head before immediately focusing on the screen of her phone again, not wanting to miss a single second of Mina’s face.
“I miss you, too” Mina responds, voice filled with emotions Momo is too tired to dissect right now. She knows this situation is difficult for the girl in Japan as well. Actually, it’s a lot more difficult for Mina than it is for her, so she decides to get to the reason why she called her in the first place.
“So we started learning the new choreography for Fancy” she starts and Mina’s attention is immediately raised. Her mood shifting from emotional and personal to serious and professional. “I got all the steps right” she adds and the proud smile she receives from her girlfriend adds much needed energy to her tired and worn out body “but something’s just off. Like I’m not making any mistakes, but it doesn’t feel right, you know?”
Mina had started nodding before Momo even got to finish her question, completely understanding her problem and what she wants from her.
“Okay then, dance for me Momo” she says with a laugh “I’m going to figure out what’s wrong.”
The way she sounds so sure of herself makes Momo almost feel like things were normal because this is exactly how they would have handled things if Mina were here with her right now. But she isn’t. As a painful reminder of that she has to set up her phone so that Mina can actually see her dance. It takes her a couple attempts to get a decent angle and find a stable position.
“I’ll turn the music on now” she more or less yells in the direction of her phone on the other side of the room.
She’s too far away to see the thumbs-up Mina sends her in response.
It doesn’t go well. After finishing the song, Momo immediately drops down in front of her phone and stares expectantly at her girlfriend.
“You were lagging” she says with a frown on her face.
Momo looks at her as if she had grown a second head.
“Excuse me?” not even bothering to conceal how offended she is. “My timing was good” she insists.
This causes Mina to actually let out a laugh.
“No, Momo that’s not-”
Another wave of laughter interrupts her and Momo is still kind of hurt but Mina’s laugh sounds like home and her smile is so bright it feels like seeing the sun again for the first time after a month of heavy storms. She finds herself smiling before the girl can even continue her sentence.
“I wasn’t talking about your dancing” she finally clarifies. “The stream. It was lagging.”
There it was again, the reminder that things weren’t normal.
“I’m sorry” Mina whispers, breaking the uncomfortable silence.
Momo only laughs. It’s a sad laugh, a frustrated one, the complete opposite of the pure joyful laugh they just shared 30 seconds ago.
“It’s not your fault” she tells her. It’s the truth and she means it, but it somehow feels like she isn’t able to convince the girl on the other end of this call.
“JYPE needs to get better WiFi” she sighs. All she gets is a sad “Mhmm” in response.
“The audio was messed up as well” Mina tells her “I’m sorry but I couldn’t really tell what was off.”
She looks dejected and Momo can feel the other girl beating herself up for not being of better help even though she‘s not to blame and it hurts her more than the imperfect choreography ever could.
“You looked really good though”
Their eyes meet through the phone and Momo’s body twists in a familiar way when she sees Mina biting her lower lip.
“I mean – the dancing” she clarifies but her voice is huskier than it was before.
Momo can’t take her eyes of her. “Sure you did.”
Her mind is going places and before she can stop herself she voices her biggest desire.
“I wish you were here.”
She immediately regrets saying it, not because it isn’t true but because it feels like putting pressure on Mina which is unfair and the last thing the girl needs. But Mina decides to stir the conversation down a different path.
With a lowered voice, a reminder that she is currently living in a house with her parents, she asks:
“What would you like to do with me if I were there?” and the question is simultaneously teasing and seductive and Mina is using her bedroom voice that always affects Momo without fail but something about the cold and empty studio, her frustration about the choreography and the fact that theoretically somebody from JYPE could walk in at any minute keeps her from playing along.
“I’d hug you, I’d kiss you, I’d hold you close and I’d tell you “I love you” about a million times until you’re sick of hearing it” she tells her instead and even though the words are loving, she feels empty while saying them.
“I’ll never be sick of hearing it. It’s impossible for me to be” Mina says and the blunt honesty in her voice sooths Momo’s pain a little.
“How are you?” Momo asks carefully.
A silence follows that question that feels neither wrong nor right.
“Good” Mina finally answers “I’m doing well. Being here in Japan and spending time with my parents really helps with relaxing.”
Momo knows Mina too well to not notice how fake the optimistic tone Mina used sounds but she understands that this may neither be the right place nor the right time to have a really deep conversation about Mina’s state of health.
“I’m glad” she tells her.
Suddenly she feels the long day she has had catching up to her, physical and emotional exhaustion spreading through her body and she feels hot tears on her cheeks before she can stop them. Her hands move quickly to hide them from the girl she loves. Momo hates herself for feeling this way, for feeling weak. Mina is the one struggling right now and as her girlfriend it’s her duty to be strong for the both of them. She is supposed to be the rock that keeps Mina steady, the arms that will catch her no matter what and the person she can rely on at all times. Instead she feels like Mina is comforting her more than the other way around and that is not how it should be.
To avoid having a complete breakdown in front of Mina she closes her eyes and takes a couple of deep breaths. When she trusts her voice again to not shake, she speaks again:
“I should go back to the dorm. The members ordered Jokbal for me.”
The smile she gives Mina is weak but it’s a real one because despite everything going on right now, the members have been really great at supporting them both but especially Momo and she appreciates the love they have for them.
“Yeah of course, you should get going. It’s late and you haven’t even had dinner!”
Momo wishes she could run her fingers through Mina’s hair and massage her neck, she wishes she could place kisses all over her face and whisper sweet encouragements into her ear because she knows it would make the frowns on Mina’s face full of worry all disappear.
“I’m sorry again” Mina tells her “for not being able to help you.”
Momo hates the way Mina’s eyes sparkle from unreleased tears in the dim lighting of her room.
“Don’t. Please Mina, just – don’t” she tells her helplessly.
“It’s just a stupid choreo and it’s our first day on top of that. I’ll figure it out, it’s not a big deal.”
She tries to be convincing and Mina does nod in response but they both know that it’s never just a choreography for Momo and that it will bother her until she actually manages to fix her problem.
Seeing the guilt in Mina’s eyes feels like being stabbed to Momo and in fear of hearing the girl apologize a third time and feeling her heart burst into pieces, she moves to end the call.
“I love you so much Mina!” she tells her, her voice breaking slightly from all the emotions she failed to convey but Mina smiles and it’s a real one.
“I love you too, Baby! Get home safely! Text me when you’re there. And eat something! Please, send me annoying videos of you looking gross while eating Jokbal!”
This elicits loud laughter from Momo.
“Really?” she asks amused “You always complain about the uncivilized way I eat Jokbal.”
“I know” Mina admits “but I miss everything about you even the disgusting way you eat Jokbal.”
Their hearts are still heavy but the mood is lighter and the smiles on their faces make letting each other go for the moment and ending the call a little easier.
“I miss you too, Mina, like crazy. I will text you and I’ll send you a video, I promise.”
She puts her pinky finger in front of the camera and Mina laughs before doing the same.
“Okay, I love you Momo” she says and if Momo had a doubt in her mind about that, she would only have to look into her girlfriend’s eyes that are currently fixated on her and overflowing with love.
“I love you too, Mina.”
And even though neither of them wants to end the call, they somehow manage to do just that.