Archive of Our Own ^beta

When she first met Lilly, Clementine didn't know what to think.

Everyone had been arguing with each other in the drugstore. She was defending her dad, Larry, while Kenny and Lee were defending their group.

She remembers being intimidated by her, since she was loud and angry and tough, and always seemed to be five seconds away from fighting anyone who displeased her in any way.

It wasn't until they were at the motel, a quiet moment settling across the place, that Clementine started to view her differently. Lilly had come up to her, and spoke softly and gently, almost as if Clementine was a skittish bird. She was probably aware that she didn't make the best first impression to Clem, and wanted to ease any tension that she felt because of it.

When she was done talking and she handed Clem two small purple hair ties as a gift Clem had realized that Lilly wasn't as bad as she made herself out to be. She was nice, and thoughtful. She seemed to like kids.

But that was back then, and the apocalypse had changed everyone. If it wasn't for Lilly's face and demeanor staying the same, Clementine almost wouldn't have recognized her when they reunited in the woods.

Looking back, it didn't really matter if she had recognized Lilly or not - Lilly still chased her down with the intent to kidnap her and AJ, shooting wildly while she ran. It was by pure luck that neither of them were caught, but they didn't escape unscathed unfortunately.

Who Lilly had been in the beginning doesn't matter much anymore, especially since Clementine had been forced to come up with a plan to save the school and all the kids in it because of her. And when the time came, she had hoped that by some miracle, Lilly would have had a change of heart. She wanted to catch up with her. She wanted to know her journey.

But things were never that simple. The same woman who had been so kind to her when she was eight years old was now hovering over her, a gun pointed right at her forehead, hands unwavering despite the clear hesitation on her face.

Clementine wasn't surprised that Lilly had changed so much. She herself is nothing like the child she was back when they first met. But their differences are like night and day: Clementine had changed for the better. Lilly had changed for the worse.

It's only when Clem gently reminds her that they were family once, and she sees her hands start to shake with the gun slightly lowering, that she thinks she can see some of the old Lilly peeking through, if only for a moment.

I know this isn't you, Lilly. Please, stop this.

Clementine wishes she had said it back then. Maybe if she had, she might've been able to save the woman that had given her two cherished purple hair ties.