Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Ferdinand laid in bed, eyes staring up at the wooden ceiling of his dorm room. A roll of thunder reverberated through the stonework. He rolled over onto his side, willing sleep to come. It was the kind of night where old wounds floated to the surface unbidden. All he could think about was the battle today.

It hadn’t been his finest performance thus far. He’d managed to get himself spectacularly beaten by a pegasus knight. Ferdinand cursed himself for being so careless. He’d been so focused on revitalising Caspar that he hadn’t even seen them flanking until it was too late.

He hadn’t been seriously injured, but it was a beginner’s mistake. If he still couldn't get it right with all of the privileges being a noble afforded him, then what was the point of him at all? He needed to uphold his family's name. If he couldn't, then who would?

Goddess, he could still see the single eyebrow Hubert lifted as he’d glanced Ferdinand’s way.

Ferdinand rolled over again and kneaded his forehead. These kinds of thoughts were unhelpful at best. He resolved to head to the library. At least there he could read something to soothe his churning mind. He rolled out of bed and pulled on his coat over his nightshirt. With another minute of searching, he located his breeches and boots. Without bothering to light a candle, Ferdinand strode out into the corridor.

A wan light shone through the window at the end of the hall. Ferdinand shivered as a crisp breeze rattled through the curtains. He made haste, ancient floorboards creaking underfoot.

Outside, the clouds were backlit by the occasional flash of lightning through the sky. It lent a remarkable ethereal quality to the grounds. It would have been quite beautiful if Ferdinand weren’t experiencing it firsthand. Feeling a little ridiculous, he pulled his coat tight around him and ran across the courtyard. A flurry of snow pelted his face.

He climbed the stairs to the second floor without incident. As he set onwards through the inky black corridor leading to the library, he began to regret not bringing a candle with him. He was just about to see if he remembered how to cast a small flame when he ran headlong into another figure.

Ferdinand reeled backwards, reaching for his absent sword. Large hands slammed him against the wall. Ferdinand almost groaned in frustration. Wasn’t Hubert always telling him he should be more careful with his personal safety? He stomped on his assailant’s foot, and used their momentary shock to jab an elbow their solar plexus. Ferdinand’s assailant reeled back. Ferdinand chastised himself for being caught off guard in the first place. He was only proving Hubert right.

As he was about to make a follow-up attack, a hand enclosed around Ferdinand’s neck. Ferdinand gasped for air. Whoever this was, they were practiced. If Ferdinand was ever getting out of this, he was going to give Hubert’s worrying more serious consideration in the future. Another hand hovered close to Ferdinand’s face. In it, the dull glow of dark magic began to blossom menacingly.

He shoved his assailant and pinned them to the other wall. They felt-- familiar? In the split second it took for him to process that fact, a hand wrenched out of his grip and brought a dark purple flame to his cheek.

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t reduce you to ash right now”

“H-Hubert?” he choked.

The dark flame near Ferdinand’s face pulled away and morphed into a bright fireball. Ferdinand backed away.

“Ferdinand!?” he snapped. “What are you doing?”

“I had hoped to get in some late night study my dear friend!” Ferdinand responded with more cheer than he felt.

To Ferdinand’s surprise, Hubert left the fireball hanging in the air and levelled a nasty looking dagger at him.

“Sure you are.”

“Hubert- what--?”

Hubert only shoved the dagger at Ferdinand and continued.

“What is something only the real Ferdinand would know?”

Ferdinand backed away, the likes of Kronya suddenly coming to mind. Slowly, he raised his hands.

“You tolerate cinnamon tea, but your favourite is single-origin Brigid coffee. At least I hope it is your favourite.” Ferdinand laughed nervously. “It was not cheap.”

Hubert lowered the knife slightly. “What did I tell you the first time we took lunch together?”

“You told me to shut up and eat”.

With a sigh, Hubert stood down and lit one of the oil lanterns set into the wall. His expression softened into exasperated exhaustion.

“What in Fódlan possessed you to go wandering the halls in the dark?”

“I could say the same for you!” snapped Ferdinand.

Hubert sighed. “I was-- asleep. I heard footsteps and assumed the worst. I thought... ”

A silence followed. Hubert folded his arms, expectant.

Ferdinand lowered his gaze. “The truth is that I could not sleep.”

Hubert eyed him with a calculating expression for a few moments.

“Well if you are not otherwise occupied, I often take the time to obtain fresh air before retiring. Perhaps you would care to join me?”

Hubert delivered the line nonchalantly, but his eyes didn’t leave Ferdinand's face. Ferdinand wasn’t sure if it was a challenge-- or something else entirely.

Despite the awful weather, Ferdinand didn’t back down.

“Of course. It would be my pleasure.”

“Good. I'm sure we could both use a moment to catch our breath.”

From the tense line of Hubert's jaw, he seemed relatively shaken on the Hubert scale of things. Ferdinand was almost impressed with his own combative skills. Although he couldn't very well feel pleased if it came at the cost of his dear friend's peace of mind. As it were, his own heart was still beating about twice the usual rate. He took a moment to steady his breathing.

Hubert took the lantern from the wall which cast a merry glow about the two of them. They walked in companionable silence until reaching the staircase to the third floor. It was at this point Hubert smirked and pulled out a key from his coat.

“I'm not one for the goddess, but I do admit the archbishop has good taste.”

Ferdinand felt an odd thrill as he climbed the staircase. The archbishop’s quarters were always strictly forbidden in their academy days. It hadn’t even occurred to him they could now visit.

As they reached the landing, Hubert pulled a lever set into the wall. A low hum resounded beneath their feet. Ferdinand glanced at Hubert in panic.

“Heating.” he explained.

Hubert lead Ferdinand past what must have been Rhea’s room through to a rooftop courtyard.

A light flurry of snow fell lazily through the air; tiny flakes melting the instant they touched the floor. Now that he came to think of it, it was probably close to when the White Heron cup would have been held. As if by the will of the goddess, the clouds parted momentarily to reveal the face of the full moon. It’s face was reflected in carefully tended ponds. Tiny flowers lined the edges of the courtyard like pink mist. He couldn’t help but smile.

“It's beautiful.”

Hubert returned the smile. Ferdinand’s heart swelled. It was of his rare, precious expressions without a hint of sarcasm or irony. Ferdinand wasn't sure another person alive had seen Hubert smile like that, save perhaps Edelgard.

Emboldened, Ferdinand rushed to the wall and peered over the edge. The whole monastery was laid out below him like a tapestry made for his pleasure. He could even see the top of the goddess tower, ever a monument to young love.

“Truly magnificent! I can see why the archbishop kept her quarters here!”

Ferdinand beamed and turned to find Hubert standing some distance away.

“I will have to trust you on your assessment.” he said wryly.

“Why Hubert, this seems almost like a place one might bring a potential lover!” he teased, an echo of one of Hubert's earlier jabs.

Hubert turned away, robbing Ferdinand the joy of seeing his expression.

“One could say that, yes.”

Ferdinand laughed and crossed the courtyard to his dearest friend. He looked more drained than usual.

“What ails you?” Ferdinand laid a hand on Hubert's shoulder. “I keep telling you to take care of yourself. You will not be of any use to anyone if you wear yourself so thin all the time.”

Hubert rubbed some sleep from his eyes. “You caught me off guard tonight. I--” Hubert looked around as if he'd find the words written in the masonry. Ferdinand waited for him to finish.

“...I was afraid those who slither in the dark would use your face against me. You are-- valuable to the Empire. If something were to happen to you it would be -- most unfortunate.”

“I am sure Edelgard would never let you live it down.” Ferdinand said gently.

Hubert snorted and Ferdinand realised his hand was still on Hubert's shoulder. For an absurd moment he considered that he ought to also place a hand on Hubert's waist. As if they were about to dance. As if they truly were lovers. Ferdinand shook his head in amusement.

“What is so funny?”

“Oh-- uh”

Hubert smelled like cold coffee gone acrid after several hours. Not traditionally pleasant, but it was so very Hubert that Ferdinand couldn’t help but smile to himself. Perhaps he'd spilled some on himself earlier.

“Have you partaken in much dancing?” he said by way of answer.

“I know the basic steps. However, I cannot say it is something I go out of my way to do.”

“I had half a mind to dance with you.” Ferdinand placed his hand on Hubert’s hip jokingly.

Hubert appeared unperturbed. “Certainly I doubt I could keep up with the winner of the white heron cup” he said dryly.

Ferdinand laughed but was sure he had let his hands linger just a moment too long to be considered a joke. His face began to flush with embarrassment. What was he thinking? Treating Hubert von Vestra of all people like a damsel to be wooed; even in jest. He’d wake up tomorrow dead! As Ferdinand was about to remove his hands and make some excuse, he felt two hands enclose around him in the requisite positions.

“But sure, why not?” Hubert smirked.

Ferdinand nearly fell over then and there. They began to move in a simple waltz. He could hardly believe the absurdity of the situation. Two grown men, waltzing around with neither music nor purpose.

The snow swirled around them, though the cold wasn't as biting as could be expected; the stone underfoot exuded the most marvelous warmth. It likely explained the presence of flowers at this time of year. He hummed in contentment. Truly he was fortunate to have been introduced to this place.

“I admit, I've been curious about your revelations following the White Heron Cup.”

“The dancing?”

“The enemy can rarely lay a scratch on you. You move out of the way so gracefully that it is as if they are simply intruding on your stage. Truly, you have saved me more times than I care to admit.”

Ferdinand felt his cheeks warm. hadn't known Hubert to wax poetic before.

“I suppose the enemy simply haven't trained against dancers. They are not usual on the battlefield after all.”

“I suppose so.”

They continued on for a few more minutes until their movements became slow with fatigue. Come to think of it, he and Hubert was getting rather close . Ferdinand felt his breath hitch in his throat. He dearly hoped Hubert hadn’t noticed or he’d never hear the end of it. Stifling a yawn, he closed his eyes and leaned his head on Hubert’s shoulder. It felt— safe. He dared not speak or this precious moment would be lost forever.

They stopped moving, but continued to hold onto one another, swaying gently. To anyone watching, they might have been lovers embracing. Ferdinand felt a rush of butterflies surge through his stomach at the thought. How absurd. 

Idly, Ferdinand traced the stiff brocade of Hubert's coat. Hubert was so warm . Nearly as warm as Ferdinand’s face.

Hubert coughed slightly and Ferdinand’s heart nearly lept out of his throat. They'd been standing here far too long. Surely this close, Hubert must hear Ferdinand’s heart beating like the Imperial military tattoo. Surely this close, Hubert must know .

“I- there… I mean to say…” he forced himself to meet Hubert's eyes, hoping to excuse such uncouth behaviour.

Ferdinand wasn't sure who moved first. 

Hubert's lips were painfully soft. A gloved hand hovered tentatively over Ferdinand’s cheek for a moment before touching down gently. Neither of them really knew what they were doing, but it felt so nice .

Hubert made a little noise in the back of his throat as they parted. It was impossibly tender coming from the man so ruthless when it came to matters of state.

The mage’s mouth was slightly parted and he wore the most dumbfounded expression Ferdinand had ever seen on him. There was frantic calculation behind his eyes, as if Hubert's brilliant mind was struggling to catch up to the present moment.

“I_” he started and cleared his throat, bright red colour creeping up his neck.

His left hand was still resting on Ferdinand’s rib cage, moving up and down with each frantic breath. He looked at the wall to the left of Ferdinand.

He was so beautiful in the moonlight, pale skin glowing amidst the softly falling snow. Ferdinand was sure he was going to combust right there on the spot.

“Would you mind terribly if we did that again?” Hubert asked.

Chapter Text

As it were, Hubert left Ferdinand not long after; there was only so much fraternising could do for exhaustion. He'd all but collapsed when he returned to his room.

When morning came, his head spun with the sheer reality of the situation. He couldn’t think of what to do except to make his morning coffee and pretend like his world was not tilting on its axis. Unfortunately, when he brought the cup to his lips, he nearly spat it out. Fuck. Even the taste of his own coffee reminded him of Ferdinand.

It was all too confusing. He knew from the bottom of his heart that what he felt for Edelgard was definitely love. This burning sensation he felt for Ferdinand however, Hubert pinched the bridge of his nose; well it certainly remained to be explained.

Hubert took a deep breath and finished his coffee. He needed to at least attempt the appearance of calm before his first appointment. It wouldn’t do to be late; he sent a cursory glance out of the window. If he had been smarter this morning, he’d have left already. Sighing, he threw on his coat.

The Bishop’s room was annoyingly close to the library for Hubert’s tastes. His morning coffee didn’t do anything to stop the churn in his stomach as he passed the third floor stairs. He scrunched his eyes shut as the image of Ferdinand, smiling like a child at a fair, rose to mind unbidden. It had been a wonderful night. Hubert would do nearly anything to forget about it right now.

Intrusive thoughts aside, he was proud of the way he glided into the room, nodded to Edelgard as if nothing was amiss, and sat at his usual seat. Bernie still looked absolutely terrified at the sight of him. All was well.

Byleth began the meeting and Hubert found his eyes wandering around the room. The battle wasn’t until the end of the month, he would read the minutes later.

Predictably, Linhardt had his face propped up on his hands, eyes barely open. Caspar yawned beside him whilst simultaneously raising a pastry to his mouth. No surprises there. Petra was diligently taking notes. Bernadetta was doodling. Ferdinand’s eyes were burning a hole in Hubert's coat. Ferdinand’s eyes were-- Hubert started coughing.

Edelgard turned and laid a hand on his arm. “Do you need water?”

Hubert nodded, grabbed the carafe on the table, and downed a glass.

“My apologies.”

Edelgard nodded and returned her attention to Byleth.

“...so I propose that we head North past the Great Bridge of Myrrddin…”

Hubert looked over to Ferdinand, who was studiously turned towards the Professor. His hair really was marvellous grown out. It momentarily caught the morning sun as Ferdinand shifted to rest his chin on his hand. How such a man could exist, Hubert would never know.

“...and we’ll have troops backing us up from the East should the need arise, although the weather is expected to…”

Ferdinand turned and found Hubert staring. He raised his eyebrows. To Hubert’s credit, he didn’t break out in a coughing fit this time. Forcibly, he turned his attention back to Byleth.

“...still, we should travel light regardless so as to maintain the element of surprise…”

It was near impossible to sit still in this state. Hubert felt like there was a fire in his veins. His fingers taped an irritated staccato on the wooden table. It was downright embarrassing. He'd dealt with far worse emotions before. Surely.

The room went quiet and all eyes turned towards him expectantly. Byleth had clearly asked him a question.

“I'm sorry Byleth, I believe I misheard.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ferdinand suppress a chuckle.

“I was just asking whether any of your sources had any relevant information.” they repeated patiently.

“Nothing comes to mind, however I’ll have a full report prepared for you by the end of the day.”

Byleth nodded and returned to the discussion.

Ferdinand smirked at him from across the table. It was downright maddening. His chest had no right to pound so hard at such an inconsequential gesture.

He tore his eyes away.

Thankfully, the remainder of the meeting proceeded without further incident. As people began leaving, he stayed in his seat. Edelgard tilted her head at him, a question in her eyes. He stood slowly.

“You go ahead, I'll be with you shortly. There is just something I need to discuss with von Aegir”.

Edelgard nodded and walked out with Byleth.

The door closed and Hubert exhaled. They were alone. Hubert had no idea what would happen next, but found with some surprise that he didn’t care what the consequences would be. Ferdinand stared at him with such blistering intensity that he was sure he would catch fire any moment now.

Then a feeling ripped through him and he had Ferdinand against the wall, tangling with the curtains. Ferdinand kissed him like a drowning person offered air. His hands roamed over Hubert's back, pulling him closer, closer. Hubert had to suppress a sound building in his throat. He broke off to catch his breath and rested his face against Ferdinand’s neck.

He felt a hunger so great that he might never be satisfied. Unfortunately, this was neither the time nor place.

“So, Mr von Vestra, I understand there was something you needed to discuss?” Ferdinand asked coyly.

Hubert responded by taking the skin of Ferdinand's neck between his teeth. The hands at his back turned to claws as Ferdinand shivered underneath him. He heard a very shaky exhale of breath.

“Quite.” Hubert responded.

“Tell me, did you hear a word of that meeting?” Hubert felt the rumble of Ferdinand’s low voice through his own rib cage.

It did unspeakable things to Hubert's constitution.

“I heard enough.” he replied coolly.

“Mhmm.” Ferdinand raised his eyebrows.

“Then where was Byleth proposing we intercept the Alliance forces?” Ferdinand flexed beneath Hubert's grip as he said it, and it took all of Hubert's concentration to not let a single emotion show on his face.

A moment passed. He'd quite forgotten the question.

“Alas, you have caught me.”

Ferdinand grinned mischievously, then looked towards the door.

“Alas, we should not tarry.”

He moved to stand up properly and Hubert released him. He could only nod stiffly in response.

“How about…” Ferdinand straightened up Hubert's jacket. “...we meet up after the day’s duties?”

“That sounds acceptable.”

“Excellent! How do I look?” Ferdinand fixed his own hair.

“Wonderful.” Hubert responded before his mind could supply a more reasonable answer.

Ferdinand smiled and pressed a kiss to Hubert's cheek before exiting the room.

Hubert watched him go. It would be several minutes before Hubert could summon the will to face the wider population of Garreg Mach himself.

The second most maddening thing is that he wasn't sure exactly what Ferdinand was expecting . Hubert would be the first to admit he was very inexperienced in these matters. His hands were better suited to murder than dalliance.

“Ferdinand hasn't done something to offend you again has he?”

Hubert was brought crashing back to reality by Edelgard, who eyed him curiously. They sat in Seteth’s old office, working through reports.

“Whatever gave off that impression?” he replied evenly.

Edelgard sighed and laid down her quill. “I’m not blind. You were staring daggers at each other that whole meeting. Perhaps you’ve irked him somehow.”

“It’s possible.” he laughed.

Edelgard bequeathed one of her long stares to him; the kind where it seemed she was peering into the essence of his very soul. He was sure Edelgard knew more than she let on. She was the one person who knew him almost as well as he knew himself.

Fortunately, that relationship went both ways.

“So I’ve noticed you and Byleth have been spending more time together lately” he mentioned casually.

Edelgard nearly dropped the inventory she’d started skimming through, but displayed no other emotion.

“What of it? --There’s a war on.”

Hubert smirked. “Nothing at all.”

He took a sip of his coffee.

Edelgard flicked a pencil at him. It bounced off his chest and narrowly missed his cup.

“You’ll have to do better than that to murder me.”

She rolled her eyes, then pinned him with a razor-sharp gaze.

“What were you talking to Ferdinand about after the meeting?”

Hubert’s heart skipped a beat.

“I believed it in your best interests to make peace with him.”

Back in that same accursed hallway, Ferdinand was practically on top of him already; kissing with no regard for elegance or indeed, modesty. Hubert took a few steps back under the sheer force of it and took a breath.

“I take it you missed me?” he chuckled.

“Oh you have no idea.” Ferdinand replied, breathless. “Bernadetta has been onto me about securing more provisions and the supply routes right now are an absolute nightmare to organise in any semblance of efficiency and…”

Ferdinand caught his breath.

“... it has been difficult to keep my mind on task.”

Hubert hummed in response. It was not nearly as late as the night previous, but still late enough for the halls to be deserted. Thank the goddess. Hubert might actually turn to stone if someone were to see him like this. Well, someone else at any rate.

Though, now he thought on it, the possibility of him freezing up around Ferdinand wasn’t completely out of the question.

Ferdinand took his hand and stepped away slightly.

“I know I nearly toppled you, but please know that I am only comfortable in your comfort.”

Ferdinand was nothing if not earnest, even in situations like these. Hubert smiled softly and felt some of the tension leave his shoulders. He squeezed Ferdinand’s hand.

“Would you like to go up to the garden again?” Hubert asked.

Ferdinand pressed his lips to Hubert’s glove.

“If you will have me?”

Hubert laughed. They ascended the stairs, hand in hand. The moment they reached the top, he pulled the lever for heating and turned to Ferdinand, unsure of what he should do next.

Ferdinand kissed him on the cheek gently and pulled him to the garden. He let himself be led.

No snow was falling tonight. The garden was still. Large fish cleaved through water the colour of the clear night sky, causing the lilies to tremble slightly. Hubert turned to Ferdinand. He was staring upwards in delight, a stray lock coiled over his face. An unknowable, effervescent emotion fluttered up through Hubert’s core. He reached a hand over, and brushed the strand aside.

Ferdinand turned his starlit smile on Hubert. Hubert’s knees went to jelly. He didn’t have a plan, but he moved his thumb over Ferdinand’s lower lip anyway. Ferdinand closed his eyes slowly. He looked like a saint of old, brought back to the cruel present. Hubert moved his hand to Ferdinand’s cheek and leaned in. Their kiss was slow and gentle. Hubert fully expected to melt.

They broke apart and Ferdinand’s eyes stirred open, reflecting the stars above. Hubert determined that he currently contained altogether more feelings than one person should ever experience at once.The sweet, oddly floral scent of Ferdinand was going to Hubert’s head. Whether they stood there for moments or hours, he couldn’t tell.

“I admit, it is not often that I find myself unable to speak.” he said eventually.

Ferdinand laughed.

“Indeed your mouth has been otherwise occupied.”

Hubert felt heat rise to his cheeks and looked away.

“Yes.”

Ferdinand laughed again. “You are truly endearing!”

Hubert raked a hand down his burning face. He was completely out of his depth.

“Those are not words I would have ever expected to have heard to describe one such as myself.”

“And yet the truth is impossible to ignore” Ferdinand turned to smirk at Hubert, mirth playing over his features.

“I might even call you divine.” he added, slinking a hand around Hubert’s waist.

“Rather risky saying that in the archbishop’s personal garden, don’t you think?”

Ferdinand snorted.

“Perhaps.”

It was at this point that Hubert felt the flames from the morning return. He wanted to take Ferdinand in his teeth then and there and put off speaking his mind a while longer. But instead he schooled his body to stillness and leaned over to Ferdinand’s ear.

“I find myself rather fancying you Ferdinand”.

Ferdinand laughed and pulled Hubert closer.

“I would never have guessed!”

Hubert felt his face warm even further; if that was even possible. He hid his face in Ferdinand’s curls.

“Still…” Ferdinand continued, “...be assured that the feeling is mutual.”

In response, Hubert nosed his way through Ferdinand’s hair and pressed his lips against his neck. He felt Ferdinand draw breath.

“I-I-I have a proposal”

“Go on.”

“The archbishop’s quarters are -- ah” Ferdinand tilted his head back as Hubert planted a kiss below his jaw. “-- unoccupied right now, and should be for some time.”

“Mmm, your point being?” he spoke against Ferdinand’ neck.

Ferdinand huffed. “Do you really need me to say it explicitly?”

“Yes.”

“I’d like to indulge in some canoodling with you.”

Hubert laughed and pulled back, taking hold of Ferdinand’s hand.

“That sounds agreeable.”

Ferdinand sported a lopsided grin, his face every bit as flushed as Hubert’s felt. His normally crisp tie was rumpled already. How very delicious.

Ferdinand tugged on his hand gently and led them both inside. Idly, Hubert wondered if the Archbishop had ever used her own bed to such a purpose. She’d always seemed above such things. Then again, until quite recently, Hubert had thought the same of himself.

From the back, he wrapped his arms around Ferdinand, who laughed under the added weight. He pressed his face to Ferdinand’s hair. They took a few steps forward and collided into the wall opposite the archbishop’s room quite by accident.

Ferdinand turned around and slammed their lips together. Hubert made a rather undignified noise and led Ferdinand backwards through the doorway without breaking contact.

Ferdinand fell backwards onto the Archbishop’s bed, eyes burning like twin suns. His hair fanned out below him like the flames of the creator. Hubert could barely contain himself. With gentle hands, he’d tear this holy place asunder and build a cathedral to Ferdinand’s light.

He threw off his coat and flung himself over Ferdinand. The sheets were sinfully soft. Immediately, several limbs wound around him and pulled him down. Ferdinand’s lips found his and he closed his eyes.

He decided he’d indulge in his own form of communion tonight.

Truly, there was no sweeter sacrilege.