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Chapter Text

"Da, how am I supposed to get the subway without my oyster card?" A rather frustrated Teddy Lupin called, his voice muffled by the fact that he was neck-deep in the living room sofa.
"Just one more minute, I'm double-checking it's not on the coffee table, I'm pretty sure I put it there..." Remus shouts back, walking into the living room and bending down to inspect under the table.

"Fucking hell! I found that Queen CD you lost! it was here the whole time? I swear you were almost crying over that.." Teddy exclaimed, examining the CD case with his hand, and Remus stood quickly, eager to meet his old CD friend, but ultimately ended up smacking his head on the table.

"SHIT!" He yelped, holding his head and cradling it gently as he heard the faint laughter of his son in the background. "Shut up you dick!" Remus moaned, still holding his head as he climbed back to his feet.
"Oh- that was just so- good! ah! wish I had my phone out to film that-" Teddy said in-between gasps, fishing his mobile out of his pocket, letting out a happy squeal after looking at the back.

"What? You're not that happy overseeing me get hurt are you?" Remus asked, walking over to stand next to his son.
"No, but I found it! thank Jesus! it was just in the back of my phone, where it was supposed to be" Teddy hummed happily, clearly not seeing the murderous look on Remus's face.
"Are you having a laugh ?! Teddy you bastard! we wasted half an hour of raking through this whole flat and the entire time it was in your sodding pocket?" Remus yelled, hands in his hair, pulling at the brown locks frantically.

Teddy, unwavering, simply stretched up and kissed his father's cheek, before grabbing his backpack and shouting a haste " goodbye!"
Remus let out a sigh as he mumbled a goodbye, retreating back to the kitchen to make himself a well-deserved cup of coffee.

After successfully brewing the coffee without any third-degree burns, he walked over to the sofa, pulling the pillows back on and reorganising them. Remus sighed happily as he sunk down onto the sofa, flicking on the T.V to an old rerun of Freaks and Geeks. After approximately two minutes of peace,  he felt his phone was buzzing in his pocket.

Pulling out his half-broken iPhone 6, Remus let out a groan at the contact name.

Prongs (wanker)

"Prongs?" Remus answered, putting on his best I don't want to talk to your voice.
"Yello!" James responded, sounding much too chipper for a regular human being. Remus did groan this time, of course a wanker like James says " Yello " instead of hello, what an arse.
"This better be good Prongs, you know it's my day off" Remus grumbled, feeling more like a 50-year-old man instead of his real age of 31.

"Promise me, it's good all right.." James said ominously, with the shrieking of Harry being heard in the background.
"Well get to it then you plonker!"
"oh- yes, Padfoots back"
Remus froze, flashes of his sixteen-year-old self came to mind, long nights with the handsome man with dark hair and wild eyes. 

"Again?"
"This time for good, he's bought a house and everything!"
Remus wanted to scoff a bitter, good for him but instead, be let out an uninterested mmhmm
"So... I figured we could go out for drinks, after all, he has been in France for ages, and you haven't seen him in what?"

Remus stopped for a moment, thinking of the desperate nights, Sirius's short visits where he would sneak into the house silently, where he and Remus would fuck hungrily. By the time Remus would wake the next morning, he would be gone and back to France.
"Well erm, your wedding I suppose.." Remus coughed out, James and Lily didn't know about the two men shagging on the sly.

"That must have been what? 7 years ago! Oh and he's never met Teddy has he?"
"No, never met Teddy..."
Remus tried to swallow the bitterness from his tone as he thought of a scared 16-year-old Remus being left behind by an equally terrified Sirius.
"God now I feel old, so you'll be able to come...? Oh! and could Teddy babysit Harry while we go?"

Remus felt trapped, he would rather throw himself out the window than go out for drinks with them, but he couldn't bring himself to refuse. "Yeah, that'd be fine, Teddy's always looking for extra cash, what time?"
"How about 7?" James asked, the cries of Harry getting louder.
"James! James, you prat ! get off the phone and come help me with your idiot of a son!" Lily called through the phone, making Remus grin at the girl's temper.

"Shit. gotta go Moony, see ya tonight"
"See you later Prongs" Remus breathed out, clicking the red button and throwing his phone down, how the hell was he supposed to see Sirius Black? He was the first man he had fallen in love with, the first man who had broken his heart.

Waking up slightly sweaty and disoriented, Remus blinked the sleep out his eyes, rubbing them with his knuckles.
"Da... DA!" Teddy called, standing above Remus, poking his arm with his boney finger.
"What? what what ??!" Remus mumbled, swatting away the finger and descending back down onto the sofa.
"You lazy bum, it's 5:30 in the afternoon!" 

When Remus swatted him away the second time, Teddy felt desperate action was needed, and the action he chose was to jump onto his still half-asleep father.

"FUCK" Remus yelped, Teddy weighing him down and immediately waking him up.
"Are you up now?"
"You're an arse!" Remus wheezed with the wind being knocked out of him by Teddy.
"And you're a sad, sad old man" Teddy cooed, still weighing Remus down.

"All right! all right I'm up! what do you want!" Remus groaned, shoving Teddy off and sitting up, seeing his lanky son looking down at him, his electric blue hair shining in the light.
"Get up, get dressed, we're going to Uncle James's" Teddy snarked, walking over to the kitchen and opening the fridge.

"We're not going out till 7 though" Remus complained, standing up to follow his son into their dinky kitchen. "Hello?! did you not get the text on the group? we're all going round for dinner now!"
"We as in..?" Remus asked, suddenly scared of a reality where Sirius and his son are sitting at the same dinner table.
"Me, you, Potters plus some Sirius fellow, apparent old friend?" Teddy smirked, looking over at the flustered Remus.

"Yeah- well he shared a dorm with us at Hogwarts" Remus coughed, flicking the kettle on and trying to hide his blush.
"Old boyfriend, you mean?" Teddy teased, enjoying the endless torture he could give to his father.
"Teddy, no- of course, no-" Remus flapped, stuttering all over the place. Teddy raised a brow at the man and Remus sighed, giving in.

"Fine, old boyfriend.. my first boyfriend actually" Remus admitted, turning to pour the hot water into the mug.
"First boyfriend! Da! this is big, why didn't you tell me about him!" Teddy grinned, hopping onto their kitchen counter.
"Well, technically.. you’re related to him" 

Teddy stopped grinning as a look of confusion swept over his face. "What? huh? related?"
"He's your Ma's second cousin, so I guess that makes him... your third cousin?" Remus inquired, stirring his tea, still not looking into his son's eyes.
"He's grans cousin?!"
"Aye, your gran was a Black, and a cousin to Sirius"
"Oh my god! dad! you shagged mum's cousin!"
Remus sighed as he sipped his tea, waving him away with his hand.
"It was more like I'd shagged Sirius's cousin" He corrected, grinning at the look of disgust on Teddy's face.

"You little slut!" Teddy gleamed.
"Barely, Sirius and I were broken up at the time, Dora and I was a one-night thing, a rebound some may say"
"How romantic !" Teddy sarcastically remarked with the wry grin still plastered on his face.
"Oh extremely, especially when she cried on me about how much she missed Charlie" Remus scoffed, only feeling fond memories towards that one night with Tonks.

"Did you cry on her about Sirius?" Teddy teased.

"All night" Remus's tone dripped with sarcasm, as he rolled his eyes and put his now empty mug on the sink.
That shut Teddy up, and with a quick nod and an awkward grabbing of jackets, the Lupin men headed out of the house.

"It's a miracle every time you drive this thing and it doesn't break down," Teddy commented, earning a scowl from Remus as he slammed the door of his ancient car shut.
"Maybe when we win the lotto we can afford a Ferrari, for now, we have a Bowie." Remus knew his car was a piece of shit, and he was sure the car knew it as well, but he was still oddly sentimental over the car he had named after David Bowie.

"God you act like such a virgin sometimes" Teddy scoffs, pushing the bell repeatedly on the door to the Potters' home.
"Well kiddo, you're living proof that I'm not"
"Gross" 

Remus just stuck his tongue out, once again appreciating the odd dynamic he had developed with his son, he once again pondered whether other single dad's had similar relationships with their sons. He guessed not.
"I'm here, I'm here!" Lily said, opening the door with her signature murderous look.

"Lupin, you better teach that son of yours some manners!" She scolded Remus, before turning to Teddy with a similar look. "Teddy, I heard you the first time you rang the bell!" Lily scowled, with hands-on hips, looking eerily like Euphemia Potter.
"Jus' makin' sure you lot haven't gone deaf" Teddy remarked, walking in and shrugging off his jacket, his gap-toothed mouth held in a grin.

Lily smiled fondly at the teenager, rolling her eyes before directing her gaze back to Remus after Teddy had left the hallway. "Lily I know what you're about to say" " He's in the living room Moony" Lily confessed, words fast and expression nervous. After Hogwarts Lily had taken to Remus's nickname and Remus thought it was sweet of Lily to use it.
"I guessed so, Teddy told me about your dinner ambush" Remus sighed, hanging his jacket up and avoiding the leather one hanging to his left.
"Remus, you just need to talk to him, he's still Sirius"
"Oh yeah, after all these years I'll just rock up with a 'hey Sirius, remember when I knocked up your cousin and then you left me - and everyone else?”

"Not exactly that but- James and I agreed that your both being stupid prats, he's back for good now and I think that you just need to get over yourselves"
Remus stopped for a second, looking down at Lily before deciding to kiss her cheek and forget her words.
"You look lovely Lils, what's for tea?"

Lily groaned and turned, directing Remus into the kitchen, where James stood looking rather frantic.

"Oh, Lily thank fuck !"
"Nice to see you to Prongs" Remus laughed, the expression of pure fear on James's face always a delight.
"Hey Moons, Wait- um Remus please don't kill me"
"Why would I want to kill you? wait..where's Teddy?" Remus asked, scanning the kitchen to find no blue-haired boy insight.

"He's in the living room... with Padfoot," James said, and it clicked for Remus why the man was so scared.
" Prongs !"
"James! you arse! you had one job!" Lily scolded.
"it's not my fault Moony raised a sneaky bastard! he got me talking about the harpies! the harpies! He knows how rugby sets me off!" 

Remus groaned, terrified of the thought of a rogue Teddy being around an even roguer Sirius Black.
Lily shot her husband a poisonous look, before shoving two cans of coke in Remus's hands, and shooing him out of the kitchen, grabbing a carton of juice for Harry and a beer for Sirius.
"Lils, I think Teddy's past the age for a juice box" Remus grinned, entering the living room with his heart pounding.

"Oh no Rem, the juice box's for Sirius," She remarked, causing a familiar bark of laughter to envelope the room. Remus scanned the room to see his son sprawled out on one of the sofas, long limbs tangled in his lap, a smug look plastered on his face.
"Hey Da! me and Sirius were just talking about how he dyed your hair pink for a month."

Remus groaned, still not looking up across the room to see Sirius, as he launched himself down next to Teddy. "Don't. It wasn't a good colour for me, not good for my completion" Remus laughed, opening Teddy's can for him and handing it to him, a gesture that was so fatherly it made him internally cringe.

"It took him over a month to get back into Hogsmeade to buy more hair dye,  he had to bribe Lily to dye it back for him" Sirius added, forcing Remus to look up at him.
Sirius was still as beautiful as ever, his long black hair tied up in an infuriatingly easy way, his tanned skin on his arms being covered up with sleeves of tattoos, in short. He looked sexy, pretty damn sexy.

The last time Remus had seen him was 2 years ago, and that was just for a night. The two kept to the dark, however, scrambling like teenagers.
"And when I finally got her to dye it back, it turned me orange, so I was actually ginger for about half a year until it grew out." 

"There's nothing wrong with being a redhead!" Lily huffed defensively.
"I remember that! we called you carrot top for a year" a rather proud James added, strolling in with a four-year-old harry at his legs.
Teddy immediately gleamed, standing up to pick up Harry, twirling him around as he shrieked delightfully.

"Oh thank god! By the way Teddy the babysitting starts now." James sighed, sinking down on the sofa as Teddy held Harry on his hip. "Depends, will I get paid extra?" Teddy smirked, looking exactly like his mother.
"Why would you need extra money Lupin?" Lily retorted, snuggling next to James on the couch. "Oh you know for all the drugs and booze I'm buying." Lily laughed but shook her head in fake disapproval.

"Oh I'm so silly, I thought you were going to spend It on Victoire..."
Teddy immediately stopped playing with Harry as he froze. "How do you know about her?" Teddy asked accusingly. "I know everything... " Lily chuckled, resulting in a miffed Teddy handing her back her child. "Da! you traitor! you told her?!" Teddy sighed, sitting back down as the three laughed at him.

"She phoned me up after stalking your Instagram, and she forced it out of me!" Remus admitted, putting his hands up. "Lily! I thought I had you blocked!"
Lily sniggered before wiggling her eyebrows menacingly.
"On my main account... maybe .."

"Wait am I missing something? who's Victoire?"James asks, mouth agape as he clicks together with the pieces. "She's Teddy's girlfriend," Lily answered delightedly.
" Ex-girlfriend , I broke up with her before Lily has her round for an embarrassing dinner or someshit" 

"Language round the baby" Remus scolds, looking up from his phone, he had pulled it out to mindlessly scroll on after he felt Sirius's persistent gaze. "Lupin gets that phone away, this is a family dinner!" Lily called, making Remus groan and tuck away his phone, looking up and seeing an amused Sirius staring at him.

It was as if the years had washed away, all the Marauders sitting bantering, Teddy had slotted right in, after being raised by the three of them (plus Euphemia, Fleamont, & Andromeda) He was incredibly close to his godparents, constantly at their home hanging out or babysitting baby Harry.

"Anyway, now that we're done with tormenting Teddy, let's focus on our surprise guest, what made you move back Sirius?" Lily asked, her smooth conversation skills killing all the awkwardness in the room.

Remus actively ignored Teddy's stare on his face as he looked for his reaction. Remus opted to look right at Sirius, who suddenly looked like a deer in the headlights. "Well we all know he didn't come back for the weather" James joked, removing the lull as they all laughed in appreciation, his crappy dad jokes coming in handy for once.

"I dunno Lils, I mean we've all got to come home someday," Sirius replied, cool and confident as his gaze drifted to Remus. "I'm so glad you're back, it's so good to have another babysitter for Harry" Lily joked. "Oh what and I'm not good enough am I?" Teddy shook his head, faking being hurt.

"Well you'll be wanting to spend all your spare time with your girlfriend , won't you?" Sirius teases, causing Teddy to flush a deep red, sinking back into the sofa muttering excuses.

"Thanks, now you've only gone and broken my son" Remus jokes, still not making eye contact with Sirius, and Sirius grins and it sends Remus soaring, fearful of his own blush rising he looks away and catches Lily's eye, who only looks smug as ever.

"Smoking kills Lupin."
Remus turned around to see the familiar grin of Sirius Black who was stepping towards Remus, pulling out a cigarette of his own. "That's the goal" Remus replied dryly, focusing on making an effort not to seem affected.

Sirius chuckles and leans back, inhaling and exhaling the cigarette with his usual flare. Remus realises it should be awkward, it should feel alien to have a thirty-something Sirius standing with him again after so long. It's not awkward though, it feels comforting to Remus - like he's rewatching his favourite movie, except this time he doesn't know the ending.

He can feel his face flushing under the blatant stare Sirius is giving him, he's been staring at Remus all night, his eyes unabashedly fixated on Remus's scarred face.
"Teddy's something isn't he? I mean, he could be your twin.. apart from the aqua hair."
Remus smiles slightly and nods, Teddy is something indeed, nothing he ever expected but everything he ever wanted.

"Oh he's had that hair since he was 12, begged for it since he was a bairn." Remus laughs, stubbing out his cigarette on the ashtray that Lily had put out on the patio after complaining about him leaving his cigarette butts everywhere.
"How old is he now? 15?"
"16 in April"
Sirius nodded and turned away, looking uncharacteristically guilty. 

"Remus, I-"
"No Sirius, don't bother"
Sirius looked flushed as Remus shook his head at Sirius."You don't get to apologize, Sirius, I- I don't even know how I could ever forgive you."
"Moony..."
Remus snapped, hearing the teenage nickname come out of Sirius's mouth was too much. "You don't get to ' Moony ' me Sirius, you don't get to do shit. I don't care that your ' back now ' or whatever bullshit you've told Lily"
"I am back now Rem, I'm back and I'm not leaving."

"You're so full of it Sirius! I've heard that countless times from you, it's all I'm back for real this time Moony and I love you Moony, please, just suck my cock. Then the next day you're gone. and you've buggered off back to France." Remus pushed himself off of the wall, shaking his head disapprovingly. "I know you, and you're a liar Sirius. So do me a favour, save the bullcrap for someone else who gives a shit, because this time you're not coming anywhere near my bed."
"Remus-"

"You may be able to do whatever you want Sirius, fuck whoever you please but I cant' I have a family, a responsibility! Not all of us have the privilege of fucking off to France whenever things get slightly uncomfortable!" Remus turned and stormed back into the kitchen, marching in a blinding rage into the living room where James, Lily and Teddy were sitting.

"I'm leaving" Remus puffed, looking down at the worried expressions of the trio.
"We heard," Lily admitted, looking at Remus with her motherly stare. "You can stay if you want Teddy but I just need to get the fuck out of here," Remus said rapidly, looking down at his son who only had concern in his eyes.

Teddy stood up nodding to Lily and James before meeting his father's eyes and smiling sympathetically. "You leave, I leave" Teddy shrugged as he shimmied past Remus to get the two coats.
"I'm sorry guys but I can't right now" Remus apologized.
"Oh shush, never apologize Moony, I'm sorry I made you- We never knew about you two.." Lily began, standing up to hug Remus.

"I never told you about it.. I'm sorry for lying." Lily pulled away and nodded, opening her mouth to speak but being interrupted by Teddy. "Ready Da?" Teddy smiled, handing Remus his coat.
"Yeah yeah, sorry again guys, see you tomorrow at school Prongs" 

"Drive safe Moons'' James said, smiling softly at Remus as he walked them to the door. "I'll be round tomorrow for Harry, but I will not show up if you dare tell my mum about Victoire" Teddy threatened, pointing an accusing finger at Lily.
"Alright, I promise! but only because I need you to look after my child, not out of the good of my own heart"
"Noted" 

Teddy hugged Lily and did his handshake with James before jogging off to meet his father who was already turning on the car, eager to escape, and Teddy hopped in the car, smiling sympathetically at his dad, and Remus realised that he had heard that whole conversation, shagging part and all.
"Oh god not you too, if another person gives me that sad, sympathetic smile I'm going to run them over" 

"Not our fault, you do look exceptionally glum, what happened?"
"Sirius happened," Remus sighed as he pulled out of the Potters drive.
Teddy didn't pry anymore, he opened the glove box, fingering through the twos extensive CD collection. "He left just before you were born" Remus admitted, eyes straight ahead on the road.

Teddy looked up, not expecting his father to open up about anything Sirius related. "We were back together when your mum came to our dorm, poor Dora was shitting it, came to Gryffindor Tower with a pregnancy test.”
Teddy stayed quiet, he didn't know the specifics of it all, but he did know that his parents had a one night stand and were never actually together.

"Sirius lost it, went completely mental. I guess it was warranted but cor, you would have thought I committed murder or sommet"
"He punched me actually" Remus chuckled.~
"He punched you?"
"I did knock up his baby cousin"
"Yuck" 

"His words, not mine - you should have heard what he yelled when I tried to tell him that a one year age difference didn't mean I was a pedo." Teddy laughed heartily and Remus joined him, he felt happy that his father was sharing some of his past, he usually never spoke of a time before he was born.
"James punched me too, but that wasn't until a week later"
"Prongs went at you too?!" 

"Aye, mainly caus he thought I cheated on Pad-  on Sirius" Remus coughed, correcting himself.
"Anyways, Dora comes to our dorm, and I had to explain everything to all of them and he eventually got it. We had broken up for about half a year."
"But obviously he was hurt, I mean I don't blame him, I was having a child with someone else..." 

Remus stopped for a second before continuing. "So he left, I don't know where he went, he took off somewhere on his motorbike. Scared me half to death. He came back three days later, proclaiming that we could do this, we would do this together."

Remus gulped, feeling terribly vulnerable under his son's watchful gaze.
"And I believed him, I really believed him."
"He's the one who bought your crib, and your pram, he helped Dora and he supported me when I was absolutely shitting it. He helped us tell your Gran and Granda."

Teddy blinked rapidly, thinking of a young version of his dad, mum and Sirius, who were practically his age. He imagined how terrified he would be if he ever got Victoire pregnant.
"So- what happened?" 

Remus sighed and grabbed the steering wheel tighter. "He betrayed me. that's what happened." Teddy felt his heart pang for his father, wishing he wasn't driving so he could hug the suddenly small man. "It was around a month before you were born, and Sirius did the unthinkable, He went and told my Ma and Pa about you and they-"  Remus stopped again, seeing his father screaming at him as his mum sobbed.

"They didn't take it well, as I had expected, but he knew I didn't want them to know and he went and told them about Dora being pregnant"
"is that why I've never met them?"
Remus nodded and looked close to tears. "They cut me off after that, mainly my Pa. Ma wrote to me once, gave me a cheque and said she would see me again but I knew it was bollocks."
"I still don't know why the hell Sirius did that, but honestly I don't think I've ever been so angry in my life." 

"We're getting a McDonalds, I need some shitty food right now," Remus said as he pulled into the busy drive-through, the line was around the block, but Remus pulled up and Teddy was secretly grateful because he wanted to hear the rest of the story.
"Anyways, we had a huge fight, mainly just me screaming at him. And when I woke up the next day, James had told me he had gone to France, staying with his uncle Alphard"
"And?"

"And that's it, he left. Just like that. and sure he broke my heart but I had you and I swear Ted- you were worth everything and more."  Remus smiled brightly as he pulled forward slightly but he put a hand on his son's arm.
"When I saw your pink little face for the first time, I knew you were the most important thing in the world" Remus admitted. Teddy flushed as he smiled and looked down at his feet. 

"I remember when you were born, I couldn't help but laugh to myself, thinking that me , the guy who had only ever had a boyfriend, was having a kid."
They both laughed as Remus pulled forward, spouting their extensive order of fattening foods and sugary drinks.

Once the pair had obtained their food, Remus pulled into a car park and they immediately tucked into their food, with a Pink Floyd CD playing in the background.
"I'm sorry Da," Teddy said suddenly, interrupting the flow of the conversation.~
"Sorry for what exactly?"
"If- if I had never- then you and Sirius-" 

Remus cut Teddy off by leaning over and capturing him in a tight hug, stroking the back of his head. "Annwyl, I love you more than I could ever say, never be sorry for being here, because you're the best thing that's ever happened to me" Teddy started crying as he burrowed his face into Remus's neck, clinging onto his dad tighter.
"I love you Da"
"Love you more my little smurf"

Chapter Text

If there was one thing that you needed to know about Remus Lupin, it was that he wasn't a morning person. However, he had apparently raised a child who was a morning person, and an aggressive one at that.
"Da if you don't get up in the next two seconds I'll get the ice bucket." Teddy threatened, towering above Remus's bed. Most mornings in the Lupin household began like this, with Remus groaning and moaning about getting up and Teddy shouting various threats and profanities in an effort to wake his lazy father.

"Do it, I dare you" Remus moaned, pulling his covers back over his face, Teddy being the bastard he is, had opened the curtains, letting the blazing sun into the room and consequently burning Remus's retinas. "Don't test me, father! Now get your ass up! we're gonna be late for school." Teddy nagged, dragging the covers from Remus.
"I'll call in sick" Remus whined, scrambling for his stolen duvet.

"I'll tell the office that you're faking" Teddy threatened, pulling the covers out of Remus's reach "Do you really want Linda the office lady to find out that you're a lazy bastard?"
"You really shouldn't speak like that Edward, I have the power to ground your ass" Remus threatened, finally sitting up in his bed, admitting defeat. "What time is it anyway?" Remus yawned, rubbing the crusty sleep out of his eyes.

"6:30," Teddy said proudly.
"AM?" Remus shouted, now fully alert and awake. Teddy started giggling maniacally.
"Maybe.."
"You are so dead"
Remus sprang out of bed to chase his son, but Teddy had already bolted off, hiding in the bathroom to avoid his father's wrath. "You'll thank me later! now go get ready!" Teddy called from the other side of the bathroom door, causing Remus to let out a low growl as he vowed to get his vengeance.

"I have no clue what they talked about last night Rem, but it seemed like James gave him a proper scolding," Lily admitted, her voice crackling coming out of the speaker of his broken phone. "Oh for fucks sake, I never wanted him to do that, I didn't want him to talk to Sirius about it!"
Lily sighed in agreement, Remus could hear her tapping her nails and fidgeting. "I know me neither, but you know how he gets, he goes all mother hen." 

Remus nodded, before stopping himself and realising how ridiculous he looked nodding to nobody, as Lily couldn't see him. "Yeah but I really don't want you guys to be mad at him as well.."
"Moony, he hurt us as well, he's barely been here since our wedding! He's Harry's bloody godfather and he's only met him twice - he's let all of us down."
Remus hadn't even thought about how James and Lily had felt, and he cursed himself for being so selfish. After All they lost Sirius just as much as he did.
"That's partly my fault though, I was the reason he left in the first place."

"Oh Remmy, please just accept the fact that Sirius is being an A-hole right now, you don't need to be so nice about him, he doesn't deserve it."
Remus stayed silent, he couldn't even begin to comprehend how he felt about Sirius, but he focused on the easiest feelings he was getting. Sad, angry, lust .
He shook his head involuntarily, not even wanting to think about Sirius in that way, it had only caused him pain in the past.

"Yeah, I guess you're right Lils.." Remus let out, sighing and tapping a pen on his desk, before looking at the clock on his computer.
"Listen, I've got to go, the bell goes in a minute, but we'll talk tonight when Smurfette and I come round."
"Right, take care doll, tell James he left his lunch here, so he's stuck with the canteen food."
"It's a marvel how that man is still alive." 

"Honestly, it's like I have two toddlers instead of the one." They both laughed heartily, enjoying a moment of playful teasing after the tension of the Sirius situation.
"See ya tonight pet."
"Alright love," Lily said sweetly, before hanging up. Her timing was perfect (as usual) because as soon as she hung up the phone, the bell had gone, signalling the beginning of the first period.

Getting out of his seat, Remus got up to open his classroom door, ready to greet the grim faces of his morning English class. He had never anticipated becoming a teacher, and He was still quite new in teaching, with Remus starting University late, managing to start his first year when he was twenty-five.
The four years that ensued were pure chaos, with an 8-year-old Teddy and a very stressed Remus living with the newly-wed Potters, Remus managed to combine parenthood and getting a degree in teaching (with a lot of help from the people around him.)

Somehow, he had done it, he had finished his degree with honours as he moved onto teaching. James - who had been Godric Hollow Highschools PE teacher, managed to score Remus a job interview, where he wooed the strict headmistress McGonagall into getting his job as an English teacher and Remus thought it was perfect, and working with your best friend wasn't exactly horrible. Plus seeing Teddy during the school day was fun.

"Mornin' Mr Lupin!" Victoire greeted, her long blonde hair and dazzling smile making Remus wonder how the hell his gangly son managed to get such a nice girl.
"Morning Ms Weasley" He greeted back with a grin and a knowing wink. Remus wished he could have Teddy in his class, but of course, it was against the rules even though he did have fun embarrassing his friends.
"What up Loopy?" Leo Rankin greeted, raising his hand for a high five only to be met with a raised brow and crossed arms. "Leo, for the sanity of us all, stop calling me Loopy." Remus sighed, walking over to the chalkboard to write the starter.

"But I can't help it just fits so well!" Leo argued, this definitely wasn't the first time that Remus had fought with Leo about his nickname. "It really doesn't Rankin." Another student added.
"Cathy what do you know? have you come up with a better nickname for Mr R?" Remus turned, putting on his best teacher stare before pointing at Leo's empty seat.

"Get to your seat Rankin, before I tell McGonagall that you're selling Rosemary in a bag and calling it weed."
"It's basically the same thing!"
"In your seat Rankin."
Reluctantly, Leo stalked to his seat, the whole class watching as he grunted and tutted about having to retrieve his books from his bag.
"Thank you, now.. did anyone actually read chapter sixteen?"

Remus sighed as he looked back over to the stack of papers on his right, the marking seemed endless, with three of his classes doing the same paper, he felt like he had read everything to know about To Kill a Mockingbird.
He was taken out of his trance by sharp knocks on his door, clearly from the overactive James Potter.
"You don't have to knock James, you're a teacher." Remus quipped with his head still down on his page. "How did you know it was me?! it could have been anyone!" James exclaimed whilst walking over to Remus's desk.
"Nobody else in their right mind would knock to the tune of We Will Rock You ."

"But it just makes it funner!"
" More fun , Prongs," Remus said, wincing at James's improper English.
"Huh?"
" Funner is not a word James, it's more fun."
James scoffed as he hopped up on a desk across from Remus, his joggers caked in mud from being on the pitch. "Sorry, Mr I have an English degree ." James mocked, sitting upright and putting on a crappy Welsh accent.
"Is that an Irish accent? You know I'm Welsh right?"
"That was a Welsh accent! I'm proper good at accents."

"James, your Scottish accent sounds like a hurt-Australian" Remus deadpans, looking up to see James huffing. "What do you want Prongs, I'm in the middle of marking some riveting pieces of literature."
"Oh well- I left my lunch again."
Remus sighs, reaching into his satchel to grab the extra sandwiches Teddy had made for him, in preparation for James forgetting his lunch.
"Honestly, managing to forget it every day is some sort of achievement," Remus said, holding up the sandwiches wrapped in cling film.

"You're the best Moonslice!" James exclaimed, grabbing the sandwiches and unwrapping them hurriedly. "Jeez Potter, does Lily not feed you or sommet?" Remus laughed as James wolfed down his tuna sandwich.
"I get the leftover scraps from Harry." James jokes, his mouth full of crumbly sandwiches.
Remus laughed but looked back down at his papers, wishing that he wasn't so awkward.
"Lily said that you talked to Sirius last night..." Remus began, his tone suddenly solemn.
"Mmhm" James let out, still scoffing down the sandwich.
"I- I'm really sorry about everything, I hadn't even thought about how you guys were hurt." James stopped mid-bite to smile fondly at Remus, who still had his head hung on the desk dramatically.
"Moony, we weren't hurt half as much as you were." 

Remus nodded slowly, focusing on the bit of tuna in the corner of James's mouth. James had apparently not noticed, as he was offering Remus what he was aiming to be a supportive smile. Instead of feeling comforted, Remus let out a burst of erratic laughter, not being able to take him seriously.
"What? what did I do?!" James exclaimed whilst Remus was in a fit of laughter, tears emerging from the corners of his eyes.
"I-I'm sorry Prongs it’s just-" Remus started, before quickly bursting out in another fit of laughter. "You have tuna on your mouth and you look like a knob!" 

James rolled his eyes, laughing lightly and wiping at his mouth but still unsuccessful in getting the chunk of tuna away from his mouth.
"I can't with you James, you're worse than your son! who is a literal toddler," Remus said, his laughter dying down.
"Honestly Remus! can't have a serious conversation around here... I can be mature!" James said, flicking away the tuna and hopping off the desk to parade around.

"Oh yeah mature James Potter, the man who still buys the shampoo that says no tears is the height of maturity."
"Oh, pah-leese I stopped buying that months ago! it doesn't work, I still end up crying in the shower anyway."
Remus shook his head but kept a smile on his face, looking at his clearly riled up friend who was prancing about his classroom.
"I have a funny feeling that has nothing to do with the shampoo..." 

James laughed heartily, rolling his eyes at Remus and muttering "Witty bastard" under his breath. However, their attention was suddenly snatched by Teddy, who had run into the classroom, beaming.
"Da! Da!" a breathless Teddy called, panting with his hands on his knees as he caught his breath.
"Oh, thanks for knocking son." Remus chuckled, watching his son pant as if he would never breathe again. "Damn Lupin, maybe you should take P.E, you sound like an asthmatic dog." James joked, looking at the struggling Teddy with great amusement.

"S-Shut u-up" Teddy let out, walking over to a chair and collapsing in it. "Are you gonna tell us why you just ran across campus or are you gonna leave us in anticipation?" Remus asked.
"M-Mum, shes-" Teddy let out a cough, sounding like a heavy smoker.
"Dora? what's up with Dora? is something wrong?" Remus asked, immediately on high alert.
"Mums moving back!" Teddy finally let out, looking at Remus with a gleeful smile with a smidge of guilt.

"I can't believe this, this is typical Dora," Remus exclaims while marching around the Potters living room. "I know Rem.." Lily sympathises, her hands clasped around her mug, watching Remus with a motherly worry.

"She told Teddy before she told me! Teddy , you'd think that I'd have a right to know first!"
"You have every right to be pissed Rem," Lily added.
"I am pissed! I'm pretty fucking pissed! First of all, she tells Teddy before me , then she doesn't even have the courtesy to phone me back!"

Remus is on a warpath, he had managed to control himself on the drive to the Potters, but as soon as Teddy had left the house to take Harry to the park he had lost control, immediately venting to Lily. "What time is it in Barcelona?" Lily asks, treading lightly.
"Only just after five, it's barely an hour difference!" Remus rampages, pacing once again and tugging a hand through his hair.
"Well, then she has no excuse to just diff you like this." Lily agreed, still tense about the distraught Remus marching around her house.

"Maybe she's busy with all of her new kids, who Teddy hasn't even met yet, by the way."
Remus knew that it was a low blow, bringing up Tonks's other children. Remus had always been filled with jealousy over Tonks and Charlie, with Charlie sticking by her throughout the whole pregnancy, helping her with everything and anything. Most importantly, he stayed after, and Remus had always seethed with jealousy over something that he couldn't have with Sirius.

"Rem, I know you're angry, and you have every right to be, but don't you think you might be overreacting?" Lily reasoned, and Remus cursed her for knowing him too well.
"Overreacting?! Lils she's going to come back here and ruin everything ."
Remus was panicking, thinking of the well put together Tonks and her perfect husband and even more perfect kids. It would only be a matter of time before Teddy moved out of their dinky flat and into the mansion that Dora's gonna have.

Remus was caught off-guard by the look of surprise on Lily's face. "Rem? What are you on about? If anything this is a good thing, you've always wanted Dora in Teddy's life!" Remus knew he jealously was unreasonable but that didn't stop the ache that filled his stomach when he thought about Teddy possibly leaving him.
"Lil, when they come back, Teddy's gonna realise how good it feels to be normal . Nymphs got this perfect family and husband and Teds gonna realise that he doesn't want to live with his weird, gay dad." 

Lily's face was that of deep concern as Remus spilt the truth, he walked back over to the sofa and sat down with a depressed sigh, feeling tears prick at his eyes.
"What a load of bollocks." Lily laughed, causing Remus to snap his head round to look at the girl with an angry expression.
"Huh?" Remus asked, clearly offended.
"Remus you must be crazy , you think that just because Tonks is back Teddy's just going to ditch you? You're his dad, and he loves you more than anything, so stop your whinging!" 

Upon reflection, Remus did see Lily's point, staying silent and pondering her words, Remus knew that Lily was right, but that didn't stop his anxieties from attacking him.
"Lily it's just- I'm not even mad at Dora, not really it's mainly me I'm pissed at!" Remus groans, throwing his head into a pillow, unable to face Lily.
"You?" 

"Yes, me. I'm a lonely bastard who hasn't been in a real relationship since I was sixteen and then there's Nymph, with her two new amazing daughters and wonderful husband. Where does that leave me? I'm alone Lils."
To Remus's surprise, Lily leaned forward and took Remus's cheek, slapping it gently.

"What the hell are you doing Lily?!" Remus asked, lurching back and holding his cheek, even though the sting was faint. "I'm slapping you out of it," Lily said plainly as if it was painfully obvious.
"Remus, you're doing that thing you do where you assume that people are always going to do the worst thing and then you start to believe it."
Remus started to slowly lean forward, still cautious of Lily and her lethal slap.
"I'm not! when have I ever done that?" he said defensively, offended by Lily's accusation.

"Oh I don't know, for example, when you told me you liked men, you had already made your mind up that I was some sort of homophobic bigot who was going to beat you up." Remus flushed lightly, thinking of his embarrassing coming out to Lily, where he brashly assumed she was going to have him kicked out of school.
"Lily that's different! I was fourteen!"
Lily simply scoffed as she lifted her mug of tea back up, taking a healthy sip.
"Then why are you automatically assuming that Teddy will abandon you? has Teddy ever done anything of the sort? has he ever hinted at being unhappy with you?" 

"Well, no but.."
"There, No, there's your answer," Lily concluded, nodding to secure her point. "If anything this is a good thing Rem, Teddy bonding with his mother while also giving you a break can only mean good things, You know Tonks, and you know she would never do that."
Remus sighed, once again hating Lily and all of her endless wisdom she seems to have.
"Honestly Lily, instead of a nurse you should have been a therapist."
"Who says I'm not? I'm the Marauder’s certified counsellor."
Remus agreed as he picked up his tea, feeling forever grateful for Lily Evans-Potter.

After collapsing onto his bed, Remus brought out his phone, checking it for the first time in hours. Lily had confiscated it in his emotional state, fearful of the texts he could send to Tonks but regret in future. He audibly sighed at the many missed calls from the woman, accompanied by almost a billion texts.
Remus was grateful that Teddy had decided to stay at the Potters for the night so that he could call Tonks and scream at her loudly as he wanted, (if necessary.)

  Dora (baby momma) (11 unread messages)

Remus couldn't help but smile at her contact name, which she had so eloquently put into his phone herself when giving her number to him. He clicked onto her contact, bracing himself for the potentially violent texts.

(18:23) 

Hey, just saw your missed calls, phone me x 

(18:24)

FFS Lupin, pick up your damn phone.

PICKKKKK UPPPPPPPP

picks up.

(18:26)

Remmy, you better not be avoiding me.

r u alive?

I'm sending the FBI in case you're dead.

(18:34)

Just remembered that the FBI are an American thing..... I'm sending Scotland Yard.

(18;45)

UPDATE, just received a scary message from Lily on Facebook. Damn, I forgot how scary she can be.

(18;54)

Call me when you have a min x 

(21:19)

Hey, Lily confiscated my phone, cancel Scotland yard.

(21:19)

Really? Does that mean I have to cancel the swat team as well?

(21:20)
If it’s not too much of a hassle

(21:22)
Ahhh Remus Lupin, always one for impeccable manners.

(21:23)
Can you phone? It’s okay if not, I know it’s pretty late...

(21:23)
Shut your overthinking ass up, gimme five mins, gotta check on the little ones

Remus tried to hold in the bitterness he felt when Dora spoke about her children, His own jealousy arising whenever he thought about how perfect her life was. Compared to his, which was - to say the least - a complete train wreck
After a minute or so, he heard his phone ringing, with Tonks’s contact picture popping up. Making Remus smile again, it was a picture from James and Lily’s wedding. A dolled up Dora and a very angry looking Teddy were posing in the photo booth. It was a super adorable picture.

Remus let it ring for a minute, gearing himself up to talk to Dora, eventually, he clicked the green button and raised the phone to his ear.
“Dora?” Remus croaked, stupidly asking when he already knew who was calling.
“No, it’s Scotland Yard! You’re being arrested for being too damn sexy.” Tonks teased, already sending Remus at ease.
“Damnit, again ? What’s it about me that’s so alluring?”

“It's the silver fox thing you’ve got goin’ on. It  drives the lads crazy.”
“Silver fox?! I’m only thirty-one, Jesus Christ.” Remus laughed, subconsciously tugging a hand through his greying hair.
“Nope, not Jesus Christ, still Scotland Yard.”
Remus felt his body loosen up, already beginning to feel embarrassed about how he was worried earlier. This was Tonks , she’s known him forever. Remus knew that she would never do anything on purpose to hurt him.

“Well could you put Christ on the phone, I need to ask him something.”
“Rem, you already know the answer, you’re going to hell.”
They both let out a laugh at that, letting Remus remind himself why he loved Tonks so much.
“So…” Remus began, making Tonks let out a long sigh.
“Oh yes, adult talk now… So, I take it Teddy told you?”
“Yes, why the hell did you tell him before you told me ? You’d think that I’d have a right to know first.” Remus let out, wanting to make sure that Tonks knew how angry he was.

“I know, You’re completely right, I’m SO sorry Rem, I just got so excited about our house finally being sold and I jumped the wagon.”
“Jumped the wagon? More like crashed the bloody wagon.” Remus snarled.
“Okay, Yes, crashed the fucking wagon, and I’m really sorry about that.”
Remus didn’t answer, instead of taking a second to calm himself down, not wanting to start a huge argument with the clearly sympathetic Tonks.

“It's okay Nymph, it's just… I don't want you making promises to him that you can't keep. You should have seen his face. Little fucker ran across campus just to tell me about it.”
“Oh Remus, I know that in the past I’ve been flakey..” Tonks began, instantly making Remus’s blood boil. She's been a bit flakey? She's not been fucking here! He thought, trying to calm himself down so he wouldn't burst out in anger.

“But this is different Rem, We’re moving, all of us - It's happening. Charlie and I have new jobs over there and we’ve bought a house in Hogsmeade! That's barely a half-hour away from you guys.”
Remus could tell she was genuine, the excitement in her voice was so easy to listen to, instantly calming all of his qualms about her sincerity. “Mia and Ivy have been enrolled in the local primary school, they’re both so excited to meet their big brother with the blue hair.”
“I’m sure Teddy cant wait to meet them as well,” Remus added quietly.

“Rem, I know what you're like, This isn't going to change anything. I promise if anything it's going to make your life easier.” Tonks added, sounding glad of Remus’s positive reaction.
“I want to be there Rem, I love him so much, and I miss him like hell.”
“He misses you too Nymph, honestly, you don't even know how much,” Remus admitted, his eyes welling up in tears.
Tonks let out a giggle combined with a sniffle, letting Remus know that her eyes were doing a similar thing. “I missed you too Rem.”
“Me too Dora, me too…”

Chapter Text

Despite having settled the dispute between him and Tonks. Remus still couldn't sleep, tossing and turning furiously in his bed, kicking his legs out from the covers just to tuck them back up a second later.
He groaned in frustration, he couldn't afford to not have a full nights sleep, and he felt that facing a classroom full of bratty teenagers while only running on a couple of hours of sleep would be a special type of torture.

Regardless of this, he still found himself kicking off the covers and padding over to his window. The street below him was jarringly empty, with only a scatter of amber-lit street lights to light up the narrow street. The moon was smiling down at him, her bright light shining and reminding Remus of just how small he was.

His mind automatically wondered to Sirius,, was he looking at the same exact moon I'm looking at right now? Does he find her brightness to be just as daunting as I do? Remus cursed himself for thinking of him. He wished that he wasn't so weak, because even at the grand ol age of thirty-one, he was still wondering what Sirius was thinking, and he wondered if there would ever be a time where he wasn't thinking about the stupid man who stole his heart and had never given it back.

He knew that as long as he continued to look wistfully at the moon, he would be thinking about Sirius and that damned tattoo that was splayed across his chest…

16 years earlier.

“Pads, May I remind you that we have a chemistry exam tomorrow.” Remus nagged, but still allowing Sirius to drag him up the steps to the top of Gryffindor tower.
“Where is your sense of adventure Moonpie? Honestly!” Sirius scoffed, taking the steps two at a time.

“Remind me why I decided to snog you of all people? I could have gotten myself a nice normal, respectable boyfriend." Remus snarked, rolling his eyes behind Sirius’s back.
“Why because of my impeccable wit and dazzling looks of course!” Sirius exclaimed, somehow not even slightly out of breath even though he was dragging twice his body weight up the stairs.

“I feel like we’ve been climbing forever, how much farther is it until we get to this so-called magical place.” Remus wheezed, the stairs making his skinny legs burn from all the uncharacteristic exercise.
“Not long now. God Moony you really should’ve joined the rugby team with me and Prongs, you sound like a fifty-year-old smoker.” Sirius laughed.

“I am a smoker! And so are you! How in the hell haven’t you broken a sweat?” Remus moaned, feeling his sticky palm against Sirius’s smooth one.
“Blacks don't sweat, that would be most uncivil of us!” Sirius teased, dragging Remus up the final two steps.
“No wonder yous don't sweat, all that incest must account for something.” Remus snarked as Sirius continued to drag him up the steps.
“Oh hush, look prima-donna we’re here,” Sirius said, his grin wide and unwavering as he pointed to a huge, antique oak door.
“A door? You dragged me up mount feckin’ Everest to show me a door ?” Remus asked, crossing his arms sassily.

“No you wank, it’s what's inside the door - it's almost as beautiful as you are.” Sirius flirted, adding a charming wink at the end of his sentence. Making Remus’s face lit up in an almost luminescent blush.

“Oh bog off Black, now show us what's in the bloody room.”

Remus was snatched from his nostalgia by a furious knocking at the front door, and he immediately launched into action, turning away from the window and venturing into the hallway, wondering who the hell would be knocking at nearly two in the morning.

A slither of his mind hoped it was Sirius, a fifteen-year-old Sirius that would shake him furiously and tell him it had all been a dream, and that he was late for first-period English.
Of course, it wasn’t Sirius, and standing at the door was his son, a surge of guilt swept through him as he looked at his son. (who was standing at the door to their flat wearing only his pyjamas and a pair of green crocs.)

“Teddy?” Remus asked, looking at his pyjama-clad son as if he was an alien from a different planet.
“Whos Teddy? Anyway, sorry sir - do you have a moment to talk about our lord and saviour Jesus Christ?” Teddy deadpanned, crossing his arms to rub his seemingly cold arms.

“Why the hell are you here? I thought you were staying at James and Lily's?” Remus asked, stepping aside so that Teddy could enter the flat.
“Couldn’t sleep, needed to know if you and mum talked it out.” The blue-haired teen said, walking into the flat and immediately flicking the kettle on.
“Oh Ted, of course, we talked,” Remus said, following Teddy and grabbing their mugs from the cupboard.
“I hate it when you two fight because you never fight, so when you do I know it's really bad." 

The scorned look on Teddy's face made Remus's heart drop, He knew that his son worried a lot about Remus's friendship with Tonks - and he cursed himself for being visibly upset about it.
"Well we aren't fighting, so there's no need to worry," Remus assured, giving Teddy a toothless smile as he chucked the tea bags in their mugs.

"I'm sorry," Teddy said, his voice thick and head down, eyes focused on the table below. Remus immediately went over and crouched down to Teddy, looking up at his face from underneath his veil of faded, blue hair.

"What are you on about? what do you have to be sorry for Ted?" Remus cooed, his tone quiet as he reached out to brush Teddy's hair out of his eyes.
“I’m sorry I told you before Ma got a chance to tell you.” Teddy apologized, his voice thick and the tears spilling from his brown eyes.
“Oh shush annwyl, you did nothing wrong, and I wasn't even that mad about the fact that she didn’t tell me.” Teddy looked up at that, sniffing as he looked up at his father with confused, tear-filled eyes.
“You weren’t?” Teddy sniffled.

Remus let out a dry laugh and shook his head, slightly embarrassed of his childish anger.
“I wasn’t”
“Then what were you mad at? Cause it had to be over something.” Teddy asked, the tears drying.

Remus awkwardly shuffled and blushed, deciding whether or not to tell Teddy the truth, (which was - to say the least, quite embarrassing.)
“Well… the truth was…” Remus blushed, and it was his turn to hide underneath his curls. “- The truth is” He corrected, not daring to meet Teddy's eye. “- that I was jealous.” Teddy pulled a confused face at this father before barking a laugh.

“ Jealous ? Jealous of what?” Teddy asked, and Remus looked up from the counter and let out a breezy, insecure laugh.
“Jealous of your Ma really, I was stupidly jealous and I didn’t know how to express it other than getting angry.”
“You're jealous of Mum ? Why?” Teddy asked, clearly baffled by his father's bashfulness.
“Well, I stupidly thought that as soon as she moved here that you wouldn’t want to live with me anymore..” Remus admitted, a fresh blush appearing on his face.

“Da! Are you mental?!” Teddy laughed, batting at Remus with his hand. Remus rolled his eyes and shrugged shyly.
“I know, it was silly but..” Remus laughed nervously, standing up and walking over to pour the hot water in their mugs.
“Da, why would I want to live with her? She's got two kids under the age of six - I do enjoy sleeping at night” Teddy laughed, standing up to retrieve the milk from the fridge.

“Sugar?” Remus asked, already reaching for the sugar tin.
“Always,” Teddy said, putting the carton down on the kitchen counter.

“No but seriously, It's totally okay if you eventually want to move there. They’re gonna have a huge house and everything-” Remus began.
“Da, shut up. This is my home. Sure I'm gonna stay at Mums, but this is my home.” Teddy assured, raising his eyebrows at his father.
Remus nodded, feeling himself release a breath that he didn’t know he’d been holding.
“Okay annwyl.” Remus handed Teddy his mug, smiling a soft, warm smile.

Sirius rolled his eyes and turned to the door, twisting the squeaky doorknob and pushing it open with his shoulder. A wave of dust and age seeped out of the room, filling Remus’s nose with the familiar smell of old books.
“Ladies first.” Sirius grinned, holding the heavy door open and gesturing for Remus to venture inside. Remus rolled his eyes but entered the room. It was mainly dark apart from a small corner which was lit by a singular oil lamp.

Heading towards the light, Remus walked in with extreme caution, being careful not to trip - deciding that now was not an optimal time to faceplant.
He jumped slightly upon hearing Sirius close the door, the creaky, unoiled hinges squeaking.
“Scared Moony?” Sirius teased, walking forward to join Remus in the darkness.
“Fuck off Black.”

“Want me to hold your hand? I promise I won't let you fall.” Sirius flirted, reaching and successfully intertwining Remus’s boney hands with his soft, elegant ones.
“What even is this place?” Remus asked, grateful for Sirius who was now leading them towards the light.
“Hmmm, guess we’ll just wait and see..” Sirius teased, dropping Remus’s hand to pick up the oil lamp, holding it ominously to his face.
“I am the ghost of Gryffindor tower! Fear me!” Sirius joked, making dramatic ‘ooo’ sounds as he reached for Remus.

Remus leapt back, shrieking girlishly.
“Sirius! You absolute knob!” Remus huffed, feeling embarrassed over letting Sirius hear his unmanly shriek.
“That's too good! Who knew Mr Mature Moony was scared of the dark!” Sirius laughed, pulling Remus back towards him.
"Shut up, I’m not!” Remus defended, sounding wildly unconvincing as his voice cracked, only sending Sirius further into laughter.

“It's okay Moony, it's cute.” Sirius laughed, tweaking Remus’s cheek.
“It's not ‘cute’ because I’m not scared of the dark!” Remus huffed, pulling his head away from Sirius’s hand.
“Okay Moons, you’re not scared of the dark, I believe you” Sirius grinned, grabbing Remus’s waist and pulling him towards him, kissing him lightly on the cheek.

Suddenly Remus was thankful for the dark, as he felt his face heat up in a crimson blush, still somehow not over the fact that Sirius could and would kiss him now.
“Now come on, I wanna show you the main event.” Sirius grinned grabbing Remus by the hand again and pulling him away.

After a night of treacherous, restless sleep - Remus was now slightly awake and at work, fighting the urge to doze off with immense effort. He had woken up to about a million texts from Tonks, Teddy and Lily, with Tonks creating a group chat including Herself, Lily, James, Teddy - and of course, Remus.

Dora (Baby Momma): Added you to a group.
05:04 am

Dora (Baby Momma) named the group: Family
Teddy Bear renamed the group: Teddy Lupin fan club 

Teddy Lupin fan club

Dora (Baby Momma)
Edward Lupin! Get your arse back to bed!
05:07 am

Teddy Bear
I should say the same to you!
05:07 am

Dora (Baby Momma)
I’m an hour ahead you wank
05:08am

Lilypad
I don't think you can call your son a wank Dora.
05:09 am

Dora (Baby Momma)
Lily? Why are you up?
05:09 am

Lilypad
Uhh hellooo? Four-year-old son who woke us up at half four in the morning
05:10 am

Dora (Baby Momma)
Bet you wanna call your son a wank for doing that
05:10 am

Prongs (wanker)
To be fair, our son is a bit of a wank
05:11 am

Lilypad
James!! The betrayal!
05:12 am

Dora (Baby Momma)
Aha! Knew it, Your sons a wankerrr your sons a wankerrr
05:13 am

Lilypad
Dora. Your son may be a wanker but my son is an angel.
05:14 am

Prongs (wanker)
Angel my arse, he puked all over my favourite rugby shirt!
05:15 am

Dora (Baby Momma)
Wait I take it back, Lily - your son is an angel.
05:20 am

Teddy Bear
Who's calling me a wanker?
06:24 am

Dora (Baby Momma)
Me.
06:30 am

Teddy Bear
Fair enough
06:55 am

Me
Do you guys not sleep?! God, you’re annoying
07:23 am

Dora (Baby Momma)
Mornin’ sunshine!
07:40 am 

Remus decided that it was too early in the morning for Marlene Mckinnon.
“And I caught that little bugger stealing some of my alcohol markers!  And they’re like three quid a pop”.
Remus nodded and smiled, Marlene’s stories about students stealing supplies from the art department seemed endless, just last week she was telling Remus about how she almost tackled a student over missing glue sticks.

“Like I pay for this shite out of my own pocket! And I'm not letting some greasy year seven steal my markers that are worth fifty quid a pack!” Marlene complained, her arms waving around passionately, causing her many bangles to jingle on her wrists.

Marlene was undoubtedly the student's favourite art teacher, mixed in with the fact that she was the only guidance counsellor who actually cared about her pupils, she was mainly adored by all.
She was also one of Remus’s favourite teacher friends, as she seemed to actually give a shit about what she was teaching, unlike some other teachers Remus knew.

“OH Rem, I almost forgot, we need to go to the library!” Marlene said, stopping and clapping excitedly, causing many students to roll their eyes.
“But my books aren’t due till next week,” Remus asked, raising an eyebrow at Marlene.

“Not for the books you fool! Word on the street says that there’s a new librarian and she’s hot!” Marlene said, lowering her voice down to a whisper so that the students couldn’t hear.
“Mar... I don’t think that the  words 'librarian’ and ‘hot’ should ever go together in the same sentence.” Remus groaned, determined not to get side-tracked by the hyperactive girl.

“Shut up you bitter old man! We’ll just pop in to say hi, maybe introduce ourselves...” Marlene offered, clearly trying to coax the unwilling Remus.
“How about you just go in and I'll wait here.” Remus offered, but Marlene was already pulling her that sounds terrible face.

“ Or you come in with me and I buy you a hot chocolate at lunch?” Marlene offered, putting a hand on her hip. Remus cursed her for knowing him so well as he caved at the thought of hot chocolate.
“With cream and marshmallows?” He added, eyeing the door to the library with caution.
“With cream, marshmallows and a cookie,” Marlene added, looking immensely proud of herself.

Remus pulled a face as he stuck his hands in his pockets, debating the pros and cons.
“Okay, deal.”
Marlene grinned widely at her triumph, grabbing Remus’s arm and dragging him into the library.

Sirius reached up, pulling back an old, dusty crimson curtain and wearing a shit-eating grin.
“Now Moony, I’ve gotta confess, I didn’t just bring you up here so that you can be terrified in the dark. I did have ulterior motives for this little trip.”

Remus chuckled and rolled his eyes, still holding the oil lamp gently in his sweaty hands.
“Sirius Black, having ulterior motives? Well, I’ll be damned!” Remus feigned shock, holding his chest dramatically with his free hand. Sirius chuckled and attempted to swat Remus’s arm.
“You’re an arse.”

“I’m your arse,” Remus said, loving the smile of glee that appeared on Sirius’s face.

“That you are Moonstar, that you are.” Sirius said, reopening the curtain wider for Remus and him to step into.
“Are you sure that this isn’t some trap you’ve set so that you can kill me?” Remus asked, nervously eyeing the curtain.

Sirius laughed and shrugged, gesturing his arm so that Remus would step in first. Remus rolled his eyes but stepped forward, lifting the velvet curtain and stepping into the room.
The first thing he noticed was the chill, the night air filled the room with a crisp coldness.
The second thing he noticed was the moon, the full moon which was shining brightly into the windowless room.

Remus peered around and noticed that the room was at the very top of Gryffindor Tower, It was small but its main feature was a stone balcony that overlooked the entirety of Hogwarts, and it was almost perfectly in line with the moon.
“Holy shit..” Remus breathed out, immediately walking out and onto the balcony.

“I figured that I’d bring the moon to my Moony.” Sirius laughed, walking onto the balcony behind Remus, wrapping his arms around the taller boy and leaning his head on Remus’s shoulder.
“Pads its-” Remus said, breathlessly looking at the view, unable to control the smile that spread across his face.

“Breathtaking? Yeah pretty much.” Sirius laughed, nuzzling his nose into Remus’s neck.
“How the hell did you find this place?” Remus asked, placing his hands atop of Sirius’s and intertwining them.
“I was adding to the map and I stumbled across the staircase and I followed it, and as soon as I saw this I knew I had to show you,” Sirius replied, his voice soft and gentle as he whispered into Remus’s ear.

“Well I love it Pads.” Remus smiled, turning his head to look at Sirius, who was staring at Remus like he was the only thing in the universe.

“Well, I love you Moons.”

“We’re not here for the books you knob!” Marlene hissed, dragging Remus away from the new copies of The Picture of Dorian Gray displayed on a shelf.
“But Mar! It's Oscar Wilde .” Remus complained, looking mournfully behind him as the books disappeared from his view.
“Oh spare me the gay clichés, you’re better than that Rem.” Marlene groans, forcibly dragging the man towards the top of the library.

“Damn Mckinnon, hold your horses!” Remus laughs, as Marlene continues to drag him over towards the Librarians desk.
“Horses don’t wait for love!” Marlene announces.
“Love? So now it's Love? You haven’t even seen the lass!” Remus complains but Marlene's grip was still strong on the man.

“It's a feeling Remmy, I’m telling you!” Marlene said, slowing down as they near the desk.
“Oh god I don’t need to phone up U-Haul do I?” Remus sighed.
“Wheesht! Oh my god, oh my fucking god!” Marlene whispered, stopping in her tracks as she looked at the girl behind the Librarians desk.

Remus had to admit, the rumours had been true. With reddish-brown hair and green eyes - the girl was truly a sight to behold. She was talking to a student with a friendly smile, her laugh echoing through the library.

“Oh god Remus- shes- shes fucking gorgeous .” Marlene stammered, tightening her grip on Remus’s arm as she slowly backed away from the desk.
“Where the hell do you think you’re going Mckinnon?” Remus said, dragging Marlene back up.
“Remus! I can’t talk to her , are you kidding me!” Marlene panicked, all of her cockiness gone in an instant.

Remus sighed and rolled his eyes, dragging a very reluctant Marlene upto the desk.
“Remus! No! NO, no, no, No!” Marlene squealed. Remus just laughed as they approached the desk, now standing right at the counter.
The girl looked up from her chair, smiling up at the two.

“Hello! What can I do for ya today?” The girl asked, a strong Irish accent coating her voice. Remus smiled back at her, immediately liking her attitude.
“Hey! We just wanted to welcome you to the school, I’m Remus Lupin and I teach English.” Remus smiled, holding out a hand for the librarian to take.

“Remus? Like-” She asked, smiling up at Remus.
“Like the whole myth thing, yeah.” Remus smiled laughing and enjoying talking to someone who was clearly as avid a reader as he was.
“And Lupin? Damn did your parents want a werewolf or somethin’?”
“Probably, My Ma was definitely disappointed when my human self popped out.” Remus laughed, liking her and her sharp wit.

“Oh and this my friend-” Remus started, looking at Marlene, who was visibly nervous, flashing the girl something was attempting to be a smile but clearly had turned out more like a grimace.
“Mckinnon- Marlene. Marlene Mckinnon. I teach art and I council guidance- I’m a guidance counselor” Marlene stammered, turning a bright red.

Remus had to cough to hold in his laugh at his friend's epic failure at flirting, but the Librarian just smiled up at Marlene, seemingly unfazed by her display of nervousness.
“Well I’m Luquette Byrnes but you can call me Luka,” Luka said, winking slightly at Marlene.

“So you’re Irish?” Remus asked, leaning his elbows on the counter, as he ignored Marlene's stares of don’t you dare Lupin.
“Born ‘n bred, and you’re Welsh?” Luka asked back.
“Born ‘n bred, but moved to England for boarding school and never really left,” Remus answered.

“Boardin’ school? Wouldn't peg you the type to go ta a schmancy fancy boardin’ school.”
“Scholarship kid.” Remus shrugged, he had recognized that Luka had a similar working-class background like him.

Luka nodded but changed her gaze to Marlene, who was uncharastically shying away.
“You’re English?” Luka inquired, smiling up at the tomato faced Marlene.
“Mhm.” Marlene let out, her voice sounding oddly squeaky.

Luka laughed and smiled at Marlene, her eyes scanning the girl with a similar shyness. Remus felt a sense of accomplishment as he stared at the two, and he remembered so vividly what it felt like to be in love…

Remus didn’t utter a word, his widened eyes looking at Sirius with silent awe.
“You what?” Remus scoffed, immediately in disbelief over Sirius’s confession.
“I love you, Remus.” Sirius smiled, stating it again with full confidence.
Remus was sure his smile had never been as wide as it was at that moment.

“You don’t have to say it back- But I feel it,” Sirius assured.
Remus was still shell shocked, frozen in his spot as Sirius unfurled himself from him, walking around and standing in front of Remus. He looked up at him with his big, grey eyes and Remus was once again overcome with the beauty that was Sirius Black.

“You can’t love me.” Remus said, his insecurities once again filling his forever doubtful mind.
“Oh but I do Remus, so much,” Sirius whispered with a sly smile. Remus shook his head in disbelief.
“I’ll prove it to you Moony, here - look,” Sirius said, lifting his shirt over his shoulders.

Remus didn’t even have a chance to blush over the topless Sirius as his eyes were immediately drawn to the ink all over the boy's chest.
“Sirius- Holy…” Remus gasped, stepping forward and tracing the tattoo.
Staring back at Remus was a large but beautiful tattoo of the Moon and its lunar phases.
“Do you like it?” Sirius grinned, and Remus looked up at the boy, disbelief written all over his face.

“You’re mental Black, totally mental.” Remus laughed, smiling as he gently ran his fingers over the intricate tattoo.
“Mental for you.” Sirius smiled, clearly loving Remus’s appreciative strokes of his tattoo, his eyes still not leaving his chest.

“I love it Pads- I-” Remus began, looking back up and into Sirius’s steely eyes, bringing a hand to Sirius's cheek, rubbing his thumb along his smooth skin.
“I love you, Sirius,” Remus whispered gently.
Sirius burst out into a joy filled grin, grabbing Remus by the collar and pulling him into a soul-crushing kiss, and Remus knew then that he would never be able to look at the moon without thinking about Sirius Black and his steely, grey eyes.

“What do you know about the new librarian?” Remus asked, sticking the rusty key into the door of the flat, unlocking it with an immense amount of effort.
“Oh Luka? She’s really cool and Irish.” Teddy answered, his hands ladened with shopping bags.
“She lets you call her by her first name?” Remus asks, finally managing to push the door open, using his shoulder to budge open the dodgy door.

Teddy nodded, walking past Remus to dump the bags on the kitchen table, letting out a huge breath of relief as he did so.
“Why ya asking? Wouldn’t think she’d be your type.” Teddy teased, wiggling his eyebrows at his father.
“She’s not, but Marlene has it bad - do you think she's... Ya know?” Remus asked, making his wrist slightly limp. Teddy burst out into peals of laughter over this, holding his chest as he knelt over.

“Da! Stop STOP!” Teddy wheezed, and Remus laughed along.
“Well? Do you think she is?!” Remus asked, still laughing. Teddy wiped a tear from his eye before he answered.
“Well, her earrings were in the shape of toadstools today, if that helps your question,” Teddy answered. Remus laughed and knowingly nodded, feeling like Marlene will have no issue with bagging the girl.

Teddy Bear

Hey, is it ok if I stay over at Liams? His Ma said it was ok
(19:23)

Aye, as long as your home for 12, Lunch at Effie & Monty is NOT optional
(19:25)

I know I knowwwww c u tomro
(19:30) 

Have fun annwyl
(19:35)

Remus set down his phone and stretched his legs, he would ever complain about getting the house to himself. Finding quiet time to sit and mark essays was rare in the chaos that was his life.

However, as he picked up his pen and began flicking through the stack of repetitive papers, he couldn’t find it in himself to start the tedious task. So, that's how he found himself - in front of the fridge, popping the cap off of a beer bottle.
He decided that he was truly a professional saddo, even his fifteen-year-old son had more of a social life than him.

After downing his first bottle of beer, he was interrupted by a series of demanding knocks at the door.
“Right Ted, one sec.” Remus sighed, stepping over a heap of laundry to attempt to open the door. As Remus scrambled over to open the door, the knocks got more violent.

“Alright Jesus Christ, I said one SEC,” Remus grumbled, finally opening the door with a mighty effort. However, instead of the fifteen-year-old boy with blue hair and a crooked smile that Remus was expecting, There was a thirty-one year old man with long dark hair and a smile that could weaken Remus in a heartbeat.

“Sirius?”

Chapter Text

“Sirius?”

Remus gawped at the man in front of him. He was taken severally off-guard, with Sirius being the last person he had expected to turn up at his doorstep.
“Can I come in?” Sirius asked, his usually overzealous voice sounding oddly meek, Remus decided that it didn’t suit him, Sirius was made to be boisterous - not shy. If Remus was being honest, a rather large part of him wanted to slam the door right in Sirius's face. However, he couldn’t quite bring himself to do so.
So, instead - he stepped aside and let Sirius in, shutting the door behind him.

“Sirius, what the hell are you doing here?” Remus asked, watching the darkened figure of Sirius walk around his living room, his eyes were fixated on Remus’s mantlepiece - or more specifically, the pictures of Teddy above his mantlepiece.

“You’ve done such a good job with him Moons,” Sirius said softly, in almost a ghost of a whisper. Remus looked accusingly at Sirius - not appreciating that he was deliberately avoiding his question.
“I know,” Remus replied bluntly, arms crossed and standing on the other side of the room.

Sirius nodded gently and turned around to face Remus. He noted that Sirius looked incredibly tired, and instinctively - Remus ached to care for the man; He shook this thought off, however, but he couldn't stop himself from etching towards him.
“Do you hate me, Remus?” Sirius asked pleadingly, tears threatening to spill from his smoky eyes. His voice sounded so genuinely torn and fatigued that Remus wanted to cry aloud, How could I possibly hate you? I can’t hate you! I’ve spent fifteen years of my life trying to fucking hate you and I can’t Sirius, I just can’t .

Of course - he didn’t dare utter this. So he opted to reask his original question,
“What are you doing here Sirius?”
Sirius laughed shakily and looked at Remus - like he had expected him not to answer -
“I can’t bear to think that you hate me, Remus, resent - that I can live with, but hatred?”  

Sirius had now sat on the sofa, with his eyes still fixed on Remus - who was still standing in the entryway.
“You don’t deserve my hatred Sirius, nor my resentment. You don’t deserve my anything. ” Remus said slowly, his facade of calmness never leaving his voice. He stood solidly, a complete opposite to Sirius’s shaky disposition.
“How is Peter nowadays?” Sirius asked thickly, his head now in his hands - making no effort to address Remus’s words. “I believe that he’s married - works as a banker in Manchester,” Remus answered.

“You believe?” Sirius asked curiously, his face now uncovered, and his tears had subsided.
“ Well , he wasn’t too hot on being mates with a teen dad, we drifted - it was understandable.” Remus shrugged, and anger bubbled into Sirius’s face. “That little RAT.” Sirius cried, standing up - his fists clenched and brows tangled, but Remus scoffed casually at Sirius, finding his anger hypocritical.
“Well, it was better than buggering off to France.” 

This appeared to have only angered Sirius more as he cried desperately,
“You don’t understand Moon-”
“-Remus, It's Remus to you.” Remus sighed, stepping forward once more, “Look, Sirius, I’m gonna ask you one the last time, what the fuck are you doing here?”
Sirius shifted uncomfortably, and Remus was glad that the lights in the flat were dim, He didn’t want to have to feel guilty over the look of pure hopelessness on his former lovers face.
“I don’t know- I-” Sirius began, but his words drifted off, and the similar feeling of dread filled Remus’s stomach.
“Sirius, forgive me if I didn’t make this perfectly clear at James’s - this .” Remus pointed from himself to Sirius, “Is done. It’s over . So I’m sorry but you’re going to have to find another fuck-buddy.” 

Sirius’s face crumpled up, in something similar to disgust, “God Remus, that’s- that’s not why I’m here!” he yelled, his hands curled up into fists as he frantically tried to find words to describe what he was feeling.
“Then what Sirius? Why are you here? Because we both know it’s not to grovel, or for me to forgive because that’s not happening!”
“I don’t want you to forgive me- I don’t want that! I just-”
“Want me to suck your dick? Want me to fill you in on all the gossip that you’ve missed in the last fifteen years?” Remus screams, letting himself feel the anger that had kept him so numb for so many years.

“I just want you to look at me, Remus.” Sirius cries, and the two fall silent. 

“I am looking at you Sirius.” Remus mumbles, his arms crossed in defiance.
“You’re not- You’ve not looked at me for fifteen years Rem- You’re looking at me but you’re seeing someone different-”
“I’m seeing the person who lied to me, I'm seeing the person who I thought I could trust, the one person who I thought actually loved me.”
Sirius opened his mouth, but made no noise - instead he just groaned, and fell back onto the sofa.

Remus carefully walked towards him and sat down beside him, conscious not to touch him in any way.
“Why Sirius? I just need to know, why did you leave?” Remus pleads, feeling his own tears form in his eyes.
“Why would I stay Remus? You’re the one-” Sirius turned, and Remus snapped.
“I’m the one ? Me?” he scoffed, turning and facing Sirius - whose expression of guilt had now changed to boiling anger.
“Yes- You,” Sirius yelled back.
“Get out Sirius- get the fuck out of my house!” Remus yelled.

He didn’t need to ask Sirius twice, as the man scoffed and stood up - racing out of the door, his anger almost as blazing as Remus’s.
“You want to know why Remus? Then ask you're good ol pal Wormtail, I’m sure he would love to tell you!” Sirius says, before slamming Remus’s front door.

Remus sat in the heavy silence of the flat, scoffing to himself quietly before he lifted his knees to his chin and cried, he cried for his old life, and he cried for his best friend and he cried because he knew, deep down - that he still loved Sirius .

17 years earlier

Remus knew that it wasn’t normal, he knew that other guys didn’t think about each other like the way he thought about Sirius - but how could he not? Especially when Sirius does something so catastrophically heartwarming as this.
“It’s a spell-checker, for your dyslexia.” Sirius smiles, pointing to the small - calculator like contraption in Remus’s hands.
“Pads how did you get this?” Remus gasped, typing into the spell-checker, he had been asking the school years for one, only for his requests to be ignored.
“May have borrowed it from pupil support.” Sirius grinned, combing a hand through his frustratingly silky hair.

“So you stole it?” Remus scoffed, rolling his eyes playfully at his beloved friend.
“They won’t be missing it - plus you needed it, so..” Sirius shrugged, looking devastatingly pretty as a light blush dorned his perfect skin. “Pads-” Remus began, wanting to voice his thoughts and to tell Sirius how positively handsome he was.
“Look, it's tiny so it’ll fit in your blazer pocket perfectly - so you don’t even have to take it out during class!” Sirius interrupted, stepping forward and pulling Remus's blazer open, popping the spellchecker into the inside pocket with a smile.

Remus laughed lightly at Sirius but was trying not to notice how close he really was, and he blushed a deep crimson - clearing his throat. “You’re lovely- I mean, it’s lovely, thank- thank you Sirius.” he corrected, cursing himself for being so stupid as to slip out such a compliment.
“I’m lovely?” Sirius said, a fresh smile on his face, with not a hint of sarcasm. The dark-haired boy was staring up at Remus in amazement like he couldn’t believe what he’d just said.
“Yes- I mean- No, shit.” Remus groaned, hanging his head down in embarrassment. 

“Remus Lupin thinks I’m lovely? Well, that's good, cause I think he’s rather lovely too..” Sirius whispers softly, and Remus lifts his head back up - a wide smile plastered on his freckled face.

“You do?” Remus smiled, and Sirius nodded slowly, leaning forward to whisper in the taller boy's ear. “I do.”

“Moony- I’ll kill him, don’t think I won’t do it,” James growled, but Remus couldn’t find it in his heart to tell him how positively un-intimidating he looked.
Remus wondered if there was any way that a person could look intimidating whilst swinging on a children's swing (That was shaped like a zebra.)
“Don’t laugh, I’m deadly serious - I told him to leave you the fuck alone,” James said, looking up at Remus sternly, with his signature I’m not taking anybody's shit face.
“You told him what?!” Remus groaned, sitting on a swing next to James (This one was lion-shaped - much more masculine.)
“I told him to bugger off for a while, to give us - and you some much-needed space,” James said, and Remus once again finding himself grateful for his motherly nature.

“Well, he apparently didn’t listen to you,” Remus muttered as he stretched his legs out and let himself swing, unable to resist. “Did he say why he was there?” James asked, also leaning back to swing. Remus had to make an effort not to laugh aloud at the fact that two grown men in their thirties were having such a discussion on a swing set.
“No, but I asked - numerous times,” Remus said and James furrowed his brows, looking over to the sandpit - where Harry was playing.
“Harry! The sand is not for eating!” James screamed over to his son - who was currently eating a handful of sand like it was sugar.  Remus couldn’t help but laugh, and he prayed that Harry would grow up with Lily’s brains, not James’s.

“And he said to ask Pete? What the fuck would Peter have to do with anything?” James said, taking another swing after parenting Harry. “Beats me, it’s probably just him wanting to shift the blame from him, but last night he said something like, like - I wanted him to leave or something,” Remus said, looking at James with pure confusion in his face.
“Is he crazy ? God, if tries to come over to mine I think I’ll kill him.”
Remus laughed lightly at James, “I doubt he’d be going over to yours for a casual fuck Prongs.” 

“Ugh Remus, Gross ,” James said, screwing up his face with disgust and sticking out his tongue.

Remus was laughing as Harry stumbled over, “Daddy, I wanna seesaw.” Harry said, stopping in front of the two on the swings. James sighed and leaned forward, fixing the crooked glasses on the boy's face.
“How bout you go ask Ron? Moony and I are too heavy to seesaw with you.”
Harry nodded excitingly as he bounded over to Ron, who was getting beaten up by his younger sister.
“Are you calling me fat Prongs?” Remus scoffed after Harry was out of sight.

“Yes - maybe if you played on my rugby-” James said, starting his rugby propaganda.
“No. I’m going to stop you right there. I’m never, and I mean never - going to join your stupid rugby team!” Remus refused, making a cross with his arms dramatically.
“It’s not stupid , We’re in the league and everything! Listen, Frank and Alice are going to Turkey soon, which means I'm two men down. Could you and Teddy just play-” James started.
“No. No means no Prongs, Teddy and I aren’t playing.”

James huffed, leaning back on the swing dramatically. “Bet you Sirius would do it.” James whispered childishly.
“Then why don’t you ask him!” Remus replied bitterly, in a similar huff. “You know what? I will!” James replied with equal sass.
Remus was about to call him an arsehole when a random woman approached the two.
“Hello? Excuse me, but my children have been wanting to get on the swings for over an hour.”

Remus and James blushed scarlet, looking at each other on the swings, Before standing up and mumbling their apologies.

Remus was always grateful for Euphiema Potter, however, what he was not grateful for - was her bone-crushing hugs.
“Mum, you can let go of Remus now.” James laughed from behind Remus - trying to rescue him from his mother's deadly grip.

“No, I will let go when I am confident that Remus has received a sufficient hug,” Effie said strictly, grinning at her eldest son from Remus’s shoulder.
“Effie, if you let go of Remus - you can have Harry,” Lily said, holding up the gurging toddler. This temptation worked, as Effie promptly released Remus in favour of her grandson. Remus laughed and smiled gratefully at Lily, who was forever his saviour.
“Where's Teddy?” Lily whispered in Remus’s ear, looking around in case he had turned up.
“I don’t know, I’ve tried phoning him all morning, he stayed at Liam's last night,” Remus whispered back, shrugging at Lily.
“Liam's?” Lily asked, a brow raised at Remus.
“Yes? What's wrong with that?”

“He stayed at Liam's last night, and he’s still not here?” Lily questioned again, her arms folded accusingly. “Uh, yeah?” Remus said, still unsure as to why Lily was suspicious.
“You are such an idiot.” Lily groaned, throwing her head back. Remus - only mildly offended - pulled a face at Lily.
“And why am I an idiot?” Remus asked, laughing slightly at the exasperated Lily.
“He didn’t stay at Liam's you mongo, He clearly stayed at Victoire’s!” Lily said as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

Remus’s eyes widened and he scoffed, “No he didn’t - why would he lie?” Remus couldn’t even comprehend Teddy lying to him.
“Because you wouldn’t let him,” Lily said flatly. “Damn right I wouldn’t let him! I stayed over at Nymphs in our sixth year and now look at us!” Remus laughed, still not believing Lily.
“But I still don’t think he’d lie - Teddy’s never lied to me!”
Lily raised an eyebrow at Remus and she looked across the living room, catching the eye of her husband and beckoning him over. James nodded and finished talking to his dad as he approached the two.
“Hello beautiful, you called?” James said, a cocky smile on his face.

“We’re talking about Teddy-” Lily started and James nodded and looked around, “Yeah, where is that bugger? Mums not gonna accept any excuse other than death for missing Saturday lunch.”
“Well, our dearest Moony just informed me that he stayed at Liam's last night,” Lily said, and James immediately groaned. “Remus you fool, everyone knows that's code for staying at his girlfriend's!” James said and Remus scoffed.
“Not you too Prongs, what evidence suggests that he didn’t just stay at Liam's?” Remus argued, but the slow feeling of dread filled him.

“The fact that I told my parents that exact lie when I stayed over at James’s!” Lily argued and James nodded, sipping his mug of coffee he had been carrying.
“Fuck - really?” Remus said, looking at his two smug best friends. “Poor Moony, your dumb homosexual self never had to make up excuses to stay over at the opposite sexes house.” James smiled and Remus swatted him away, mildly embarrassed.
“Okay, but we don’t know that for sure,” Remus said, and the doorbell of the Potter cottage sounded - announcing Teddy's arrival.

Lily and James looked sceptical, but Remus rolled his eyes, calling to Effie and Monty that he’d get the door. Remus’s fears were confirmed however when a very bashful Teddy Lupin stood at his grandparent's door - his neck absolutely littered with hickeys.
“Edward, where the fuck have you been?” Remus said, walking Teddy into the garden and shutting the front door behind the two.
“At Liam's,” Teddy said guiltily, his ears turning pink. “At Liam's? Oh, and Liam gave you all those hickeys, did he? Have something to tell your dear old dad?” Remus said, trying to keep his voice down in fear of Effie or Fleamont hearing.
“ Okay , I saw Victoire this morning before coming here.” Teddy lied again, turning even pinker. Remus scoffed at him as he leant back and folded his arms.

“So not only have you lied to me once, you’re continuing to lie right to my face! Now, I want the truth - where did you stay last night?” Remus asked again, and Teddy hung his head shamefully.
“I was at Victoires..” Teddy admitted, mumbling and shuffling his feet on the path.

“Victoires? Teddy, why would you lie to me?” Remus said, feeling stupid for trusting his son so blindly. “Cause I knew that you’d say no!” Teddy said, looking back up at his dad.
“Of course I’d say no Teddy! I don’t want you-” Remus began and Teddy interrupted,
“To make the same mistakes that I did - Yeah I get it, but I’m not you dad, and Victoires not Ma!” Teddy argued back and Remus felt his anger boil to the surface.

“You’re naive Teddy, You're young, and you think you’re invincible. Well, you’re not . You’re not , and I had to learn that in the hardest way possible, so forgive me for trying to spare you the pain!”
Teddy’s eyes teared up as he looked up at Remus, the pain on his young face reminding Remus so much of himself. “Well, I’m so sorry that I was such a pain to you, but it’s not my fucking fault you couldn’t keep it in your pants!” Teddy screamed back and Remus leant back, shocked by Teddy’s anger.
“Whatever dad, I don’t need this,” Teddy said, and he turned back and started walking out of the Potters garden.
“Edward! EDWARD, YOU BETTER GET YOUR ARSE BACK HERE.” Remus screamed, but Teddy was already out of sight.

Remus turned back to the house, screaming into his hands as the front door opened.
“Where did he go?” Lily said, walking down the path to Remus. “I- I don’t know…” Remus said, his voice thick and eyes blurry.
Lily nodded and took him by the shoulder - leading him back into the cottage.

For the love of god Lupin, stop looking at Sirius.

Remus begged himself, still not taking his eyes off of the back of Sirius’s head. He sighed and looked down, breaking out in a ridiculous grin as he saw the spell-checker on the table below him. He cursed himself again, reminding that Sirius was his friend, his best friend - who happened to be one of the most heterosexual guys alive.

Remus was taken out of his self loathing by a note that was slid onto his desk. The smug grin of Lily Evans met Remus’s gaze as he looked up to see who the note was from. He sighed at Lily but he unfolded the perfectly folded note, rolling his eyes as he saw the message.

You’re staring again
- L

Remus turned to Lily and scowled at her, before ripping out a corner of paper from the back of his English jotter.

Not helping Evans.
- R

Remus leant backwards and slipped the crumpled note on Lily’s desk, fearful of the watchful eye of Ms McGonagall.

Ew. Don’t call me that, potty-mouth Potter calls me that.
- Not Evans

Evans Evans Evans Evans Evans Evans
Nevermind, I’ll just call you Lily Potter ;)

- Lupin

Pigs will fly, before I EVER marry that insolent fool, McGonagall will turn into a CAT, before I lay a hand on that putrid Potter.
- Lily J. Evans

J? What does that J stand for? James Potter's number one fan?
- Remus J. Lupin.

What does your J stand for then Lupin? J ust staring at Sirius Black for the ENTIRE english period…
- Lily Jolene Evans.

Remus scrunched up his face at Lily’s note, turning around and shaking his head at the girl, - ripping up her note into tiny pieces. Lily feigned shock by dramatically pretending to cry, and Remus just scoffed, turning back around, feeling slightly embarrassed that Lily caught him looking at Sirius, but he couldn’t help himself as his eyes wandered back over to Sirius.

He swore that his heart did a small leap overseeing that Sirius was turned around slightly, looking right at Remus’s blushing face. Remus (who was taken aback.) Halfheartedly waved back to Sirius.
Sirius stuck his tongue out at him, but Remus could swear that there was a ghost of a blush on his face.

“Mr Lupin? Are you with us?” The shrill Scottish accent of Ms McGonagall called, snapping Remus’s stare away from Sirius and onto his teacher, who was looking at him with raised brows.
“Er, Yes miss.” Remus spluttered.
“Good, now who can tell me the answer to question nine?” McGonagall continued giving Remus a sly look. Remus just sat back in his seat and shut his eyes tight, wishing that the world could just swallow him whole.

He set his phone back down, another exasperated sigh filling the silence. To say the least, Remus was worried for his son. Teddy hadn’t even texted Remus to let him know if he was okay. His phone was also turned off, which only made Remus more fearful, and he knew for a fact that he wasn’t at Victoires, after receiving a call from an equally worried Victoire, who only got a brief text from Teddy before he switched his phone off.

Lily set down a cup of tea next to Remus, cupping his shoulder and sitting next to him on the sofa. All four of them had congregated in Remus’s flat - in case Teddy came home.
“Still nothing?” Lily asked, but Remus and her both already knew the answer.
“His phone’s still off,” Remus grunted, eyes focused on his feet that were kicking under his shabby rug. “Don’t do that, you’ll ruin the rug.” Lily mothered, leaning down to rearrange the rug.
“It’s already ruined Lils, look at the massive splodge of blue dye,” Remus said, pointing to a corner that was indeed - the most horrific shade of aqua. “Fuckin’ hell, looks like a smurf was murdered,” Lily said, picking up the corner to inspect with horror.

“I shouldn’t have shouted like him like that,” Remus said, rubbing his forever tired eyes.
Remus remembered his all too familiar teen days, with the strict Christian Lyall Lupin forever lecturing Remus on how to be a proper bloke and not one of them fairy fucks. 

(To be fair to Lyall, he had only started the homophobic slurs after he had caught him and Sirius making out on his twin bed, under the false impression Mr and Mrs Lupin were attending church.)
“Remus, love of my life -  you’re his father it’s your bloody job to shout at him,” Lily said, rolling her eyes and placing her feet in Remus’s lap. “You called?” James said, walking back from the bathroom, a very giggly Harry on his hip.
“Sorry? Who are you again?” Lily said to James, folding her arms and staring up at her husband. “Lily! I’m scorned, you think you’d remember the father of your child.” James said dramatically, leaning down and placing Harry in Lily’s lap. Harry happily babbled, curling up in his mother's lap.
“I’m sorry love, you’re mistaken, you do make a good babysitter though,” Lily said, smiling fondly up at James. “Where's my pay then Evans?” James said, sitting on the arm of the sofa.

“James, your payment is right here! Quality time with the most handsome boy ever!” Lily said, tickling Harry's tummy. The small boy squealed and squirmed, shouting various Stop Mummy! And make it stop Moony!
“Sorry Harry, I’m not Mummy anymore, I’m the tickle monster!” Lily laughed, tickling the boy more.
Remus looked over to the three with a faint smile, feeling that familiar pang of nostalgia when he remembered Teddy at that age. He felt a soft buzzing in his pocket and he stood up slowly, slipping out of the living room and into his bedroom.

Andy Tonks

Remus furrowed his brows at the contact name, not thinking for the life of him why the hell Andromeda would be phoning him.
“Andy? What’s goin’ on?” Remus answered, lifting the phone to his ear.
“Hey darling, just phoning to let you know that Teddy is okay, he’s with us.”
Remus felt a weight drop from his shoulders, as he immediately relaxed.

“Oh thank god, is he okay?”
“Perfectly fine, he got the train here, then sat on the doorstep for two hours while Ted and I were at the market.” Andromeda laughed.
“I’m going to kill him- I’m sorry if-” Remus began. “Oh hush, you know how much we love having him, he is our grandson after all. However - I’m really not happy with him for runnin’ off like that, I’ve given him a proper scolding, but he seems really upset.” Andy interrupted.
“Yeah… well, we got into a huge fight,” Remus admitted.

“So I heard - and you’re totally in the right,” Andy said, and Remus was glad of her approval, still worrying if he was too harsh with him.
“Thanks, that means a lot..” Remus laughed, and he continued “I’ll just hop in the car and come get him.” Remus said, already walking over to get his jacket.
“Oh no need love, Sirius will run him over,” Andy said happily, not knowing that Remus froze at the mention of the man's name.

“Sirius?” Remus said, trying his best to remain nonchalant. Andromeda, who apparently was oblivious to Remus’s peril continued; “Oh yeah, Sirius is back from France! He’s bought a house but the bathroom’s getting redone so he’s kippin’ it with us!” Remus mumbled a yes, he couldn’t bring himself to tell Andy that Sirius was the last person he wanted to see right now.

“That’s grand Andy, thanks.” Remus forced himself to say, feeling a pang of dread erupt in his stomach. “No problem love, they’re off the now - you’ll see them soon!”
“Yeah, I will won’t I?” Remus tried not to say, as he said his final goodbye to Andromeda.

Chapter Text

Teddy was an excellent sulker, he prided himself on his ability to brood, and right now, sitting in the front seat of Sirius’s suspiciously cool Mercedes. He was trying and epically failing at ignoring Sirius. Seriously, do you know how hard it is to sulk when The Cure is being blasted out of the coolest car stereo of all time?! He really had tried hard to hate Sirius, Teddy knew what had happened between him and Da, he’s very aware of their past, but damn , this guy is just so damn likeable. Teddy ran a hand down the side of the car seat, the leather buttery under his freshly bitten nails.

He was already calculating what he was going to say to Da. They almost never fight, well, seriously fight. Teddy doubted that having a wrestle over the last ice lolly was what most fathers and sons considered to be a fight. Sirius had moved on from The Cure , now he was belting out I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend by the Ramones, which was another one of Teddy's favourites, so now he had to make an extra effort to not sing along. In fact, in all of his efforts to try to sulk, Teddy hadn’t noticed that the car was now parked outside of Asda .

“Last time I checked, I don’t live in an Asda,” Teddy grumbled as Sirius stopped the car, the voices from the stereo fading. To his surprise, Sirius barked out a laugh, shaking his head. “There's that Lupin sarcasm,” Sirius said fondly, unbuckling his seatbelt.
“Must be hereditary,” Teddy mumbled, his arms crossed defensively. Sirius chuckled again, flipping open the glove box, retrieving his wallet and grabbing his keys.
“Not to be that guy, but do you have to do your weekly shop right now? Da’s gonna be pissed if he has to stay up later than 12.” Teddy remarked, but he unclipped his seatbelt, copying Sirius.

Sirius looked over to Teddy and smiled, his perfectly crooked grin showing. “That’s exactly why we’re going to go into Asda and buy the biggest, most expensive box of chocolates in the shop.” Teddy wanted to hug Sirius for his genius, and he realised just how well Sirius probably knew his dad.

Then why did he just leave?

Teddy mentally shook the thought away and jumped out of the car, liking Sirius more and more every minute.

16 years earlier

Sirius rapped on the door of their shared dorm, tactfully ignoring the handwritten sign on the door that read:

Do not enter this dorm if you are Sirius Black, you are a complete and utter wank. However, if you are James or Peter - I welcome you with open arms.
- R.J.L

“Can you read, Black?” Remus called from within the room, and Sirius rolled his eyes.
“How’d you know it was me?” Asked Sirius from the other side.
“Nobody else in the world knocks to the tune of We Will Rock You,” Remus grumbled. Sirius grinned and took out the box of chocolates from under his arm and shook them.

“Would you let me in if I told you I had chocolate?” Sirius teased, shaking the box loud enough so that Remus could definitely hear it. For a moment Sirius thought that Remus was genuinely going to ignore him, however when he heard the lock sliding on the other side and saw Remus crack open the door, only one of his eyes showing - Sirius smiled again.

“What kind?” Remus asked, looking down at the box.

“Hazelnut,” Sirius said, smiling softly. Clearly, this had impressed Remus as he opened the door and smiled back.
“You may enter,” Remus said, ripping the note from the door. Sirius shook his head and wondered just how lucky he was that he got to be Remus Lupin's boyfriend. 

Remus looked at the clock on the wall again, it was nearing 12 am, this only made him angrier because A) He wants to go to bed, B) Teddy had lied to him, and C), Sirius Black was bringing him back. He wished that James and Lily could've stayed, he needed to bitch and moan, and moaning to Lily was the best, because she would just listen, maybe occasionally nod and always agree with you - even if you're in the wrong.

Remus looked at his phone again, he wondered if he should phone Dora. His fingers hovered over the contact for a moment before he clicked on the call button, bringing the phone to his ear, willing her to pick it up.

"Remus?" Her sleep worn voice said Remus forgot about the time difference, feeling stupid.

"Oh shit, I forgot that you were an hour ahead, go back to sleep." Remus apologized, going quite red in the face.

"Huh? What are you doing up at nearly 12 am? Isn't it past your bedtime?" Dora jokes, whispering through the phone - Remus heard a click of a door behind her, and she spoke up. "Okay, I'm out on the balcony - what's up?" 

"It's Teddy." Remus shakily said, running a hand through his hair, he wanted a cigarette, but he knew that he had already finished his last pack. Remus felt Tonks stiffen, a long sigh coming from her mouth.

"I know about it, Mum already told me." She confessed and Remus couldn't help but chuckle. 

"Of course she did." He said, hearing the flick of a lighter and the sound of her drawing from a cig. "Oh come on, I'm dying for a smoke!" Remus moaned.

Tonks tutted gently, and Remus knew she was shaking her head. "Is he home, did Dad drive him?" She asked, ignoring Remus’s childish plea for cigarettes. Remus felt his boiling rage return.

"No, he's not home - you'll never fucking guess who's taking him back." Remus spat out.

"Umm…. James?" Dora said sceptically.

"No, your bastard of a cousin is." Remus huffed, getting up off the sofa to look out the window, trying to spot Sirius and his Mercedes wank-mobile. Remus didn't want to think about how many times he had snogged Sirius in that car.

"No way, Sirius is taking him home?" Dora exclaimed, and Remus couldn't figure out whether her tone was happy or angry.

"Yes, which means I'll have to speak to him, and he's probably corrupted Teddy - No, what am I saying?! Teddy hates him. Good then, It's his punishment - four hours in a car with Sirius." Remus said, half speaking to himself, half speaking to Tonks. 

"Rem, remember us at that age, Teddy's not even a quarter as bad as we were!" Dora laughed, snubbing out her cig with her foot. Remus scoffed. "There's a reason he's nothing like us, I've made sure he's nothing like us!" 

Tonks hummed tunelessly, sighing slightly. Remus knew it was because she felt guilty.

“I’m sorry you have to deal with this on your own, soon I’ll be living fifteen minutes away so that we both have to deal with this shite.” Remus laughed, already wishing she was here - he hadn’t really let himself miss her before. “It's ol’rite” Remus mumbled, his welsh accent popping out unintentionally. Remus knew that Dora was gearing up for a long speech when he heard the slam of Sirius’s car door.

“Oh shit, Sorry Dora I've got to- Shit. They’re here.” Remus said, trying and failing not to panic. She laughed, “Alright Rem, speak to you tomorrow?” Remus mumbled Sure and went to hang up, but she began speaking again. “Wait, Remus?”

“What is it Dora, I think they’re on their way up - oh fuck.” he whined immaturely.

“One sec, Rem - give Pads a chance, would you?” She sounded so earnest that Remus stopped completely in his tracks, and found himself saying “ Okay .” A chance? Why would Dora ever… Before Remus could take it back, she had hung up - and there was a knock at the door.

A chance? Why the hell should I give him a chance? He questioned, but a strong part of him knew he was going to do it anyway, he was always so powerless when it came to Sirius.    

Teddy had bragged about having never been grounded as a child, his sense of pride over never being reprimanded or having a fight with his father was immense, however now, he realised just how screwed he was. Sirius stole a glance at Teddy, worry in his eyes obvious, Teddy hoped that Sirius didn’t see just how nervous he truly was. Teddy hoped the Lindor chocolates weren’t melting, he was gripping them pretty hard. Remus opened the door, his arms crossed, looking extremely pissed off. Teddy wanted to hide behind Sirius’s legs, he wanted to run away all over again. After his anger at his father had worn off, he realised he was already halfway over to his Grandma Andie’s house, and that's when the dread set in. He hadn’t meant to go as far as he did, but then again why shouldn’t he be able to stay at his girlfriend's house? Well, fake girlfriend - but that’s not the point.

“Hey Da” Teddy croaked, lamely handing out the red box. “I bought you chocolates.” Remus raised a brow but grabbed the box, holding it to his chest. It was then that Teddy realised that he had no idea how to ground Teddy, like how Teddy had no idea how to be grounded.

He mumbled thanks, clearly happy about them but being too pissed off to voice it.
“Thanks for bringing him back,” Remus mumbled, now inspecting the box like it was the most important thing ever. “No problem Moon-” Sirius started, stopping himself mid-sentence, Remus’s head shot up, finally looking at Sirius. “No problem,” Sirius repeated.

Remus gave a brief nod, and opened the door, beckoning Teddy to step in. Teddy did so, turning to give Sirius a weak wave, wishing that he could save him from his fate.
“Edward, thank Sirius,” Remus said, crossing his arms now. “Thanks, Sirius, I'll pay you back for the chocolates,” Teddy said and Sirius shook his head. “No probs Teddy, really. Well, best be off.” Remus furrowed his brows. “Surely you’re not driving back?” Remus said, and Sirius stopped in his tracks, turning around immediately. “Yeah, it’s not too bad and it’s-”

“It’s pitch black, and it’s four hours away, at least comes in for a coffee? red bull? a smoke?.” Remus said, momentarily forgetting his contempt towards Sirius. Teddy could feel his own eyes widening, last time he heard, his father hated Sirius’s guts. He looked over to Sirius, who was clearly just as shocked as Teddy, just nodded and followed the two into the flat.

“Pop the kettle on Edward,” Remus said sternly to Teddy, meeting his bewildered eyes and shaking his head towards their kitchen. Teddy lamely stalked over to the kitchen, grabbing three mugs out of the cabinet and flipping the kettle to boil.

“Two mugs, you’re going straight to bed,” Remus called from the living room, where Sirius was awkwardly shedding his leather jacket. “Da, it’s Saturday-” Teddy protested, but Remus’s icy stare stopped him in his tracks, he turned back around and put one mug away, giving Sirius a mug that said Best Aunt Ever! The Lupins didn’t have any normal mugs, something that they had once thought was the peak of comedy, with Remus’s favourite one saying, World's most mediocre entrepreneur! The lump in Teddy’s throat was still there, he felt rather sick - he knew his father was torturing him in his own way because Sirius was still here. However, he wished that he would just scream at him to get it over with.

If Teddy was honest, he had never understood why his dad had been so hung up on Sirius, until now, as he watched the two laughing in their living room - and he swore he could see his dad's eyes sparkling. Teddy couldn’t help but smirk to himself as he brought the mugs over. 

Chapter Text

Remus had no clue why he’d invited Sirius in, all Remus knew was that he missed him, and all he wanted to do was share a cig with an old friend. So that’s how he ended up outside with Sirius, sharing a snout between them. 

“I take it Andys told you that Nymphs moving back?” Remus said, blowing out the smoke into the cold air and passing it to Sirius, who happily took it.
“Dora actually told me herself,” Sirius confessed, tapping the extra tobacco from the cigarette before taking a draw.

Remus nodded, feeling oddly betrayed, he would have thought Tonks would’ve told him that she was speaking to Sirius again, then again they were cousins, so Remus couldn’t grudge literal family speaking to one another, but he still didn’t know how to act around Sirius, the rage was still there, but the longing for his old best friend was there as well, it was like a civil war in his brain.
“Thanks again for driving Ted back, he’s been... He’s never done anything like this before.” Remus said lowly, squeezing the bridge of his nose in exhaustion, Sirius nodded and handed the smoke back over.

“He’s a teenager, and compared to most teenage boys..” Sirius paused, laughing lightly - clearly remembering their own teen years. “He’s actually really cool, that whole blue hair thing he’s got goin’ on.” Remus chuckled then, snubbing out the cig on the windowsill beside them and tugging a hand through his own dirty fawn locks.
“Well, it may be cool, but  now my loo’s tainted with blue hair dye.” Sirius barked a laugh at this, startling Remus to how familiar it was. He was sure he could’ve just shut his eyes right there; and he could’ve pretended that he was fifteen again, wrapped in Sirius’s arms, cracking jokes and teasing him.

Sirius looked over at Remus, admiring his side profile, the same long nose that fit on his face just right, the scatters of freckles and the faint markings of scars he had obtained when he was a kid. Sirius wanted to tell him the truth, he wanted to spill every single thought he had had over the last sixteen years.

He wanted, he wanted… He just wanted so bad it hurt, but it wasn’t his right to want anymore. Remus had made that perfectly clear. So instead of smashing his lips into Remus like he so desperately wanted to do. Instead, he cleared his throat, which made Remus snap his eyes open. 
“That’s- that’s me off,” Sirius said, the mood suddenly horribly awkward. He would have never thought he could be awkward around Remus, but hey! - sixteen years will do that to a relationship.

Remus just nodded briskly, and Sirius turned around, heading back to his car, keys jingling in his pocket. He wished that he could turn around right now, that Remus would stop him, stop him from leaving. Sirius was so sick of leaving.
“Sirius, wait,” Remus called and Sirius froze immediately, turning around to see Remus looked at him painfully. Sirius felt the flicker of hope erupt in his stomach, stupid, stupid hope.

“Talk to James, he misses you like hell,” Remus said, now looking at the ground, the cold air biting at his nose, making it flush red underneath the yellow glow of the streetlamp. Sirius’s stomach dropped, cursing himself for hoping.

“Alright,” Sirius said slowly, looking at Remus one last time before turning back around and marching towards his car, leaving the only person who he’s ever felt at home with.

Remus sat across from Teddy, staring at his boy in the cold light of the day.
Teddy was shifting uncomfortably on the sofa, his leg bouncing up and down. The two hadn’t spoken since the night before, only waking up and sharing some knowing stares. Teddy had made his father a cup of coffee, which sat untouched on the coffee table. Remus needed this over and done with.

“I’m sorry Da, I made a huge mistake.” Teddy suddenly burst out, tears in his eyes, and Remus felt like the worst father in the whole world. He felt like Lyall, and that made him want to cry by itself.
“I’m sorry as well, I should have never screamed at you like that. You weren’t a mistake annwyl, you’re probably the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Remus confessed, all of his anger gone.

Teddy laughed and finally looked Remus in the eye, “What about that time we saw Hugh Grant in Tescos ?” He joked, and he burst of much-needed laughter, and Teddy laughed back. Remus opened up his arms and Teddy sprinted across the room, launching himself into his Dad, burrowing his blue head into Remus’s scratchy jumper.

“I love you Da, you’re my bestest mate,” Teddy said, his small sounding voice vibrating against Remus’s chest. Remus kissed the top of Teddy’s head.
“Ditto.”

Teddy laughed again, wiping a tear from his eye as he looked at his Dad, and he knew his Dad deserved the truth.
“Da?” Teddy said nervously, moving away from Remus’s chest and sitting on the edge of the coffee table in front of the sofa.
“Yeah?” Remus answered, wondering why Teddy was so nervous all of a sudden. Teddy played with the end of his bracelet that Lily had gotten him when he was 10.

“I wasn’t with Victoire last night…” Teddy flushed and Remus tried to keep his shock to himself.
“Then where the hell were you then?” Remus said slowly, not wanting to get angry again.
“Do you know Leo Rankin?” Teddy said, his blush getting deeper, and Remus felt like a total idiot.
“Well, He’s my boyfriend,” Teddy said shyly, looking up at Remus nervously. Remus couldn’t believe he could’ve been such an idiot. After all, he had done the same exact thing, he’d pretended to date Lily so that his dad didn’t suspect him and Sirius, (Until his dad caught him and Sirius in bed together the illusion was shattered.)

“And Victoire?” Remus asked with a knowing smile that only made Teddy flush even deeper.
“She’s- Don’t tell anyone Da, but she’s going around with Cathy..” Teddy said and Remus smiled softly at his son - who was more like him than he’d thought.

“Oh Teddy, why did you think you’d have to lie to me? I would know better than anyone, for fucks sake I did the same thing with Lily!” Remus laughed and Teddy’s eyes went wide.
“Lilys?”
“No, no but it was a good way for James to stop asking her out every two minutes,” Remus smirked and Teddy relaxed a little bit, the guilt dropping from his shoulders.
“It was just easier, you know? And Leo's not exactly the most... He just wants to keep it a secret.”

Remus looked at his son, and he saw himself, he saw himself when he was fifteen and hiding with Sirius, but that was then and that was him and he never ever wanted that for his son.
“Son, you deserve more than that, if Leo doesn’t want anyone to know then, then he’s just not worth it, okay? You deserve more than hiding and sneaking around - that was for my generation, but you don’t have to do that, it’s not a way to live - trust me.” Remus said, grabbing Teddy’s hand and looking at him right in his eyes.

“I know, but I love him Da,” Teddy said desperately, tears streaming down his young face, making Remus’s heart break.
“And if he loves you back, if he truly loves you he’ll do anything for you, he’ll tell anyone, otherwise, fuck him. There are a million other guys who will love you like you deserve to be loved Kiddo.” Remus said, wiping a tear from Teddy’s face, and Teddy nodded, launching himself back into Remus’s chest.

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

16 years earlier

Remus was boiling mad, well he was more than mad. Sirius had really fucking done it this time. They were done, over, kaput. Remus was done making up excuses for Sirius, he was done with Sirius’s lies and bullshit. Flirting was one thing. Sirius couldn’t help himself, Sirius would flirt with a tree if left alone with it for too long, but kissing Cindy Long in the common room was just blatant cheating, and Remus was pretty sure there had been more than that, he just couldn’t trust Sirius anymore.

He was hurt, crushed, and wanted, no- needed , Sirius to hurt as well. I guess that's why he found himself rattling on the door to Nymphadora Tonks’s dorm room. Remus knew that she had just broken up with Charlie, so he wanted to talk to her. He also knew somewhere in the back of his mind that Tonks had always fancied him, so there was that.

To his surprise, Tonks opened the door, wearing only a little tank top and shorts, Remus realised that he’d never done anything with a girl, what if he wasn’t gay? What if…
And that's how he found himself snogging Tonks that fateful night, and again to his surprise, she snogged him right back.

 “James, can you please stop buying Pepsi and just buy Coke like a normal person!” Remus called from the Potters kitchen, his head stuck in the fridge. Later in the day, Remus had just told Lily and James (With Teddy’s permission.) The truth about Teddy's dating life.

“Like father like son, eh Moony?” James laughed, and Lily rolled her eyes gently at Remus,
“You Lupin Boys, so eerily similar,” Lily said, bouncing a sleepy Harry on her knee.

“I will stop buying Pepsi Lupin when Aldi stops making it so damn cheap!” James shouted back from the living room. Remus shook his head disapprovingly but grabbed a can of Pepsi , walking back into the living room and sitting next to James on the sofa. James had a controller in his hand, playing Fifa 19 quite half-heartedly, but when Remus sat next to him, he dropped the controller and turned to Remus, a serious expression on his face.

Remus was quite alarmed, as the only times Remus hadn’t seen James look like a perpetually happy douche was when he married Lily, and when Harry was born.
“What’s up Prongs?” Remus said nervously, cracking open his Pepsi.
“What did you say to Sirius?” James asked, inspecting Remus’s face suspiciously, and Remus then remembered what he’d said to Sirius last night.

“I told him that he should talk to you, cause you miss him,” Remus said truthfully, knowing nothing could get past James Potter. Remus expected James to get angry at him, because it was actually none of Remus’s business if James missed Sirius or not, but this is James Potter we’re talking about here, so he pounced forward and gave Remus a very aggressive hug.

“Thank you Moony,” James whispered in Remus’s ear, before unlatching himself and picking up the controller so he could join another match.
“I take it he spoke to you then?” Remus said, looking at James and realising how he’ll never ever know what the hell that man is thinking. James nodded, not taking his eyes from the TV screen.

“He came over this morning,” Lily said from the doorway, Harry hugging her leg like he was a koala. Remus looked at Lily and tried to read her expression, something told Remus that she wasn’t as happy about Sirius’s visit as her husband was.
“What did he say?” Remus asked nervously, as Lily walked into the room, sitting on the armchair across from them.
“Uncle Moon, Mum says I can’t get an elephant!” Harry interrupted, crawling up on the sofa to sit in between James and Remus.
“Harry, it’s not nice to interrupt a conversation.” Lily scolded, and Harry nodded, looking adorably discarded, his big green eyes welling up with tears.
“Sorry Moony,” Harry said sadly and Remus smiled at him, picking him up and hoisting him onto his lap, tickling the toddler gently.

“Apology accepted, Prongs Jr,” Remus said as Harry squealed happily. “And in my opinion Harry, elephants are overrated.” He added and Harry shook his head, settling on Remus’s lap, gearing up for a nap.

“So, what did he say?” Remus asked again, and Lily’s expression changed from fawning mother to unhappy friend in moments.
“Well, actually he didn’t say anything to me, only to James, which I’m extremely pissed at because it’s not just James he hurt, he hurt me as well,” Lily said, her voice thickening. Remus wanted to punch Sirius, how idiotic could he be? Like honestly how pigheaded-

Before Remus was going to burst with anger, the doorbell went.
“One-minute Moony, sorry,” Lily said, standing up and going towards the door.
Remus looked over to James, who was smirking to himself while continuing to play the game.
“Prongs… What are you-” Remus began, but was interrupted by a shrieking Lily Evans.

“SIRIUS BLACK, ARE YOU CRAZY?!” Lily screamed, and Remus ran to the door, chuckling James at his heels and Harry in his arms.
“Padfoo!” Harry chuckled as he saw a nonchalant Sirius Black, leaning against a brand new Mini Cooper that had a huge red bow on it.
“Holy-” Remus said, but Lily beat him to it.
“Shit. What- Sirius this is-” Lily said, hands over her mouth as she walked towards the car.

“I know this doesn’t make up for anything Lils, but I just wanted to do something - I felt like words weren’t enough to show you just how sorry I truly am, I wasn’t here, butI will be Lily, I’ll be here for you, Prongs and baby Harry.  I’m so sorry. I really am.” Sirius said, all air of arrogance dissipating as he talked to Lily, tears coating his eyes. Remus felt a strong pang of jealousy mixed with pure awe as he watched the two.

“Sirius, you are completely and utterly mental. ” Lily whispered, tears streaming down her face. She took a step forward and leapt into Sirius’s arms, burrowing her red hair in his neck.
“But I love you for it.”

Remus smiled softly and looked to James, who had his arms crossed and was looking victoriously at Sirius. Like the years had melted away and the two were back in school, completely joyful after pulling another prank. Sirius looked up from Lily’s shoulder and looked right at Remus, smiling softly as he silently said with his eyes.
You next.

17 years earlier

Baby Teddy gurgled happily in the common room as he bounced against Tonks’s knee, it was Saturday and Dora had brought Teddy to school for the weekend, he usually stayed with Granny Effie or Nana Andy, but this weekend he was terrorising Hogwarts, to the delight of everyone (Except for Tonk’s roommates, who could’ve lived without a screaming baby waking them up at all hours.)

Remus couldn’t believe how they had managed to do this, but with the help of, well, everyone. They had managed to juggle school with raising a baby boy.
“He has Remus’s face but my nose,” Tonks observed, tapping Teddy’s nose as if to confirm it.

“Thank god for that, I wouldn’t wish this nose on my worst enemy.” Remus laughed, ruffling Teddy’s thin blonde hair. Lily shook her head disapprovingly at this.
“I love your nose, Remus!” Lily defended, pulling down her skirt over her knees, she was rattling a toy in front of Teddy’s face, smiling whenever Teddy reached for it.

“Let’s just hope he doesn’t have Dora’s balance.” Charlie chuckled, earning a swat on the arm from Nymph. Remus high-fived Charlie behind her back, sharing a knowing look.
Lily also giggled at this, reaching for Teddy.
“Give him over Dora, stop hogging the babe,” Lily said, snatching Teddy from Tonks.
“Of course Lily, it's not like I ya know, birthed him or anything.” Tonks quipped happily, snuggling into Charlie's side. Remus smiled but again couldn’t help the jealousy that he felt. He hated to admit it, but he desperately missed Sirius.

Lily stuck her tongue out at Tonks, continuing to fawn over Teddy happily.
“Who’s my handsome boy! Who’s my clever, clever boy!” Lily cooed, and Teddy happily laughed under her praise. Remus couldn’t help but agree with every word that was coming out of Lily's mouth.

“Talking about me again Evans?” James said, walking in, his rugby uniform looking sufficiently muddy after practice, Lily rolled her eyes and pulled a face of disgust.
“Keep dreaming Potter,” Lily retorted.
“You’re in all of my dreams Lily-flower,” James said suggestively, and Lily went as bright as her hair, muttering to Teddy about what an idiot James was. Remus smiled knowingly and wished that the two would just get together already.

“Alright everyone, essays are due for Wednesday, don’t forget to put your names on them, Yes I’m talking to you Issac,” Remus shouted as the bell rang signalling the start of lunch, it was the next day, and Remus found himself looking over to Leo Rankin more in class now, mentally slamming him against the desk and knocking him out.

“Mr Lupin? Do you have a sec?” The small sounding voice of Victoire said from beside him, and Remus flashed the nervous-looking girl a smile.
“Of course, all the seconds for you Miss Weasley,” Remus said pleasantly, and Victoire started to relax slightly.
“Teddy told me that he,” Victoire looked down at her shoes, her face flushing. “He told you the truth, and I was wonder-”
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.” Remus interrupted and Victoire looked up, nodding quickly and muttering Thanks before fleeing the room, Remus felt extremely sorry for the girl.

Remus spent a moment looking at the door, in distant thought about the girl. He then sat back down in his chair, settling only for a moment. However, Remus’s quiet lunchtime was interrupted by a certain P.E teacher.

“Moony! The apple of my eye, the love of my-” James began, arms wide open, a grin plastered firmly on his idiotic face.
“Your lunch is in my bag.” Remus deadpanned.

James jumped on the spot, a cheesy fist pump in motion.
“ That . That’s why you’re the best!” James said, hunting through Remus’s worn satchel and retrieving the lunch Lily had given Remus yesterday, with a knowing look on her face.
“And that is why I’m desperately concerned that you’re a father,” Remus said, giving James a disapproving glance. However, James seemed unphased, chomping happily into his baguette.

“So, what did Sirius say to you?” Remus asked nervously, eyes still glued to his computer screen.
“Well, he told me what an idiot he was, and he just- he told me… stuff,” James answered vaguely, making Remus a little bit irritated.
“What does ‘stuff’ mean?” Remus asked, looking at James, who was now avoiding his gaze.

“All I’m gonna say Moony, is that- maybe you should talk to him?” James said, nervously and Remus sighed.
“I’m sorry, I’m just not there yet, there's still a lot of hurt, ya know?” Remus said and James nodded.
“Of course Moons, but just keep in mind that we aren’t sixteen anymore, yeah?”
“Yeah..”

“And you’re sure it’s-” Remus said, eyes darting from the test back to Dora, heart beating a million miles per hour.
“Me and Charlie- we’ve, we’ve not done, that ,” Tonks said sheepishly, her face red from crying. Remus felt like running, he couldn’t do this, he couldn’t be a father , it’s not like he had a very good example growing up.

“Dora, I’m gay,” Remus said frantically.
“Yep, and I’m with Charlie but-” Tonks said, shrugging, Remus was frozen in place, utterly shitting himself.
“So what, what are we going to do?” Remus said, sitting down on the bed next to Tonks.

“I’m, Remus- I’m going to keep him,” Tonks said nervously. Remus turned, looking wide-eyed at her.
“Him? He’s, he’s a boy?” Remus said a small smile on his face. Tonks nodded, tears streaming down her face. Remus knew then, he just knew, that this baby was going to be the love of his life. No matter how old he was.

“If you’ll let me Nymph, I promise to be the best Dad in the world,” Remus said, grabbing Tonk’s shaking hands. He wouldn’t leave, he couldn’t.
“I would want that more than anything Rem,” Tonks said, and Remus kissed her forehead, thinking about the future. He wondered if he would live to regret this.

He didn’t. He had never once regretted Teddy.