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“You’ve got a lot of nerve.”
Chad couldn’t help looking up — innocently, of course — at the angry pirate captain standing just inches away, her eyes digging daggers into his as if he were the lowest scum of the earth. Or maybe something worthy of being trampled beneath the sole of her leather boot.
“Sorry?” He scratched the back of his head as he sat in the Wishing Well cafe run by one of the seven dwarves. It was a quaint place, the kind of hovel that seemed torn from his mother’s favorite storybook. But the one thing he liked best about it was that no one he knew from Auradon City frequented it because there were trendier places for princes and princesses.
But he hadn’t exactly counted on pirates finding him here. Especially Uma, Ursula’s daughter.
Uma just continued her stare-down, her arms folded over her chest. “I don’t appreciate pompous little princes chasing the skirts of the females in my crew.”
Ah. Now things made sense.
Stirring the spoon in his latte, he was just glad to have something to do with his hands. He felt less nervous around Uma when he was in motion: sitting still, he may as well have been a duck ready to be ambushed in a pond. A sharp laugh shot through his lips. “You do know they have free will, right? I don’t use love potions.” I don’t need them.
The next thing Chad knew, Uma had flipped around the chair opposite his and sat down in a way that would have made princesses gasp at the indecency of it all. But after a few months Chad had learned Uma’s game: her intimidation factor went up ten degrees just by the ease with which she broke or bent every rule. “Tell you what,” Uma said, her voice nearly a drawl as she drew out her words with care — and warning. “If you think it’s so exhilarating to chase pirates, then you should come to the queen of them.”
Chad blinked a few times before he said, slowly, “Are we talking about you?”
Another girl might have blushed under pressure, but Uma just met his gaze steadily. “Who else? Last I heard, there hadn’t been a mutiny to unseat me.”
He might have laughed at her, but she would probably stab him with one of the cafe utensils if she got the chance. “Not interested,” he said, his tone cool, as he lifted his cup to his lips.
Meanwhile, Uma lifted her eyebrows. “What? You too good for me or something?”
To put it lightly. But he was a prince. Princes didn’t go around insulting ladies, even if they were of the seafaring-and-pillaging sort. “Maybe if you put a check on that arrogance of yours we could talk.”
And this time it was her turn to laugh. Chad didn’t like it one bit. “Oh, we’re playing that game, are we? When you have your own little club named after you?”
His cheeks burned as she alluded to the Charmington Cavaliers Club — which was essentially just an off-shoot of his father’s country club. The Cavaliers’ greatest claim to fame was a high-profile charity fundraising event every summer. “That was my parents’ decision, not mine,” he muttered.
“You can’t fool me, Charming,” Uma said. “You probably get a hard-on every time you get to use your name recognition, huh?”
If Chad had been drinking his latte at that moment, he would have choked out of shock and mortification. At least with princesses he didn’t have to worry about such slips of tongue that would have been utterly inappropriate in most Auradon society. “Just what is your problem?” he asked in a heated whisper. What gutter did you crawl out of?
And from the gleam in Uma’s eyes, he could tell she was utterly enjoying herself to see him so scrambled by her choice of words. “Oh, did they not cover sex ed at Auradon Prep? Did they tell you it was caused by pixie dust in the air or something?” Then she leaned in, conspiratorially. “Or, wait, do you have a problem of some kind—?”
“Please. Shut. Up.” His voice sounded dangerous even to himself.
But Uma still seemed particularly pleased with herself. “Wow. You’re so mad that your ears are turning red, yet you’re still princely enough to say please.”
“Enough,” he said, and this time he stood up. “I don’t have time to play games with you or any other VK.”
Uma’s face was suddenly serious, all hint of glee gone. “I hope you remember that before you start chatting up any of my crew,” she said, and he could hear the very real threat there, like a knife just waiting to be unsheathed. “You may not worry about them or care about their feelings, but I do.”
Chad nearly sneered at her. “You’re not their mother.”
“Maybe not,” she said, “but I’ll make you pay for the rest of your life if you break any of their hearts, Chad Charming. And I don’t make such promises lightly.”
I don’t need your damn crew, he thought. I can have anyone I want, whenever I want. Auradon’s my home, not yours.
“Noted,” he said, shrugging on his wool coat. “I hope I don’t see you for a long, long time.”
Uma just smirked at him. “Likewise, Charming.”
But it seemed neither of them would be lucky in that regard going forward.
*
In commemoration of the day Cinderella had been found, the glass slipper reuniting with its owner and happily ever after being achieved, Chad was supposed to be up on a stage as his mother and father waved to all the onlookers who had come to gaze upon the quintessential royal couple in the suburb of Charmington.
He hadn’t expected to be tied up in the darkened galley of one purported pirate captain’s ship.
“I warned you,” Uma said, shaking her head. “But you didn’t listen.”
It seemed his dalliance with Harry Hook’s older sister had not gone overlooked. But he was already a bit relieved that he wasn’t facing the brother himself — or being on the other end of his famed hook.
“Can we talk about this?” He was starting to get nervous, so much so that he could feel sweat beading on his neck. “Negotiate?”
“I don’t negotiate with liars,” she said, her voice curiously devoid of any hint of emotion, “unless they have something I want.”
“What do you want? Gold? Stocks? A royal appointment of some kind?”
“What I want,” Uma said, her voice slow for emphasis, “is you to leave my crew alone. Like I asked. Politely, may I add.”
I don’t think threatening me the first time was ‘polite.’ “What do you expect? Me to sign a contract of some kind?”
A smile curved on Uma’s face. “Now you’re talking.”
I doubt any contract with a pirate would be legally binding. “Fine,” he spat. “I’ll sign a damn contract.”
“Desperation,” Uma said. “It’s not a bad look on you, Charming.”
Just get me the hell out of here. “I’ll need to be untied,” he said.
To his surprise, Uma did just that. He might have taken the opportunity to make a run for it, but he figured the pirate would easily catch up with him. And then were would he be? Fish bait, probably, ready to walk off a plank right into a circle of sharks.
Chad rubbed his wrists while Uma unfurled a scroll that at first seemed illuminated in an eerie golden hue — but that must have been a trick of the light because by the time he blinked it was just ordinary parchment. She handed him a black quill. “Just sign your name on the dotted line, Charming.”
If Chad had been wiser — and more keen — he might have been cautious enough to read the fine details of the contract. Not only had his father, a businessman of a kind, tried to pound the importance of contracts into his heir — but Chad had grown up in Auradon where he should have known better than to trust his eyes or senses when it came to the influence of magic users and their tethers.
As soon as Chad finished the flourish of his signature, the scroll snapped up into Uma’s fist. Then it disappeared in smoke, like a party trick of some kind, but even he could recognize the magic from its scent alone.
His stomach felt like it was dropping to the wooden floor beneath him.
“What just—”
“You’re a greater fool than I thought you were,” Uma said. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to sign a contract with a sea witch?”
It seemed that Chad had not learned from any of the cautionary tales.
“Sorry, Charming,” Uma said, but she did not sound sorry at all, “but you’re mine now.”
And with those words, every syllable, he felt the threads of magic begin to tighten around him. It was worse than being tied up to a chair. It may have been even worse than choking.
With just his name, Chad had signed away more than he had ever bargained for.