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Hop doesn't remember when it started.
Perhaps, the young male always felt this way. This numbness thumping in the place where his heart should be was a normalized occurrence. A sensation he's grown too accustomed with.
He was cold, drained, and defeated to the core.
Of course, he would fail. How could he not? He wasn't like Leon, he wasn't champion material. Since childhood, the purple-haired boy was always compared to his older brother. Everything he did would be for the betterment of his brother's image, every step he took, every breath he breathed, all of it was for Leon.
Forever in his own sibling's shadow.
Laying down on the dilapidated wood flooring of an abandoned farm outside of Postwick, the teen pulls out a lighter.
He flips it and off in a methodical movement, letting the routine slowly calm his nerves. Hop didn't mean to come here today, but he just couldn't take the festivities taking place back at home.
Leon, Gloria, Victor, Marnie, Bede, and all the Gym Leaders were celebrating the announcement of a new Galar Champion.
There were games, food, bonfires, and streamers. It was an amazing party for everyone involved, except for Hop.
Hop just wanted to be left alone. His thoughts kept running rampant inside his head as he tried to come to grips with his loss, with his disappointment.
Hop was a failure, but that's not anything new.
Chuckling to himself in a self-decrepitating manner, the teen pulled out a rumpled pack of cigarettes. His one and only saving grace.
If people could see him now, the so-called younger brother of the great Leon smoking in a piss poor building in the middle of bumfuck nowhere.
It's a good thing no one cared or looked after him then. It made it easier for the boy to smoke in secret.
Lighting up the cancer stick, the amber-eyed teen took a puff of his joint.
The embers of the cigarette and the nicotine filled smoke warmed him right up from the chilly night air. It was hard not to find comfort in this habit of his.
It's been how long since he started doing this? Borderline two years or so?
It came as a surprise at first, how simple it was to get a pack of cigars even when underaged.
All it took for Hop to get some was a charming smile and a bit of extra cash.
Well, it's not like he was complaining. Smoking truly was a great way to destress.
Looking up at the stars, the teen crushes the remains of his cigarette with his shoe before lightning up another one.
Hop wanted to leave this place, abandon everyone, and just start anew.
He didn't want to be in the shadows forever, he wanted to be himself if only just for once.
Laying his cheek against his palm, the male wonders if running away would be possible for someone like him.
Tapping his fingers alongside his thighs, the fifteen-year-old makes a decision right then and there.
Probably, the best decision he's made in his entire life.