Archive of Our Own ^beta

-

“I'm forgetting something. I know I am. What am I forgetting?”

There was really no ignoring Namjoon whenever he looked at you with such wide-eyed hopefulness, pacing around his messy bedroom in a frazzled state. He'd tripped over his open suitcase twice thus far in his hurry to get properly packed, losing sight of any semblance of organization. He had items of clothing strewn about, hardly even folded up inside his luggage, and you knew that there were plenty of crucial items he'd need which he hadn't even gotten stored away as of yet. It was cute how slightly bumbling and extra clumsy he could get at times like these, filled with a boundless energy that sometimes overtook the more analytical and composed parts of his person. You'd witnessed him going through the same type of pre-trip panic countless times over the years, at least once you'd finally become privy to the truth of his nature.

“Toothbrush? Skincare? Most of the essential toiletries?”

Namjoon let out a groan, astounded it seemed that he hadn't even thought of his various personal hygiene needs, scrambling past the bed where you sat to forage about the ensuite bathroom for the items you'd brought to his attention. Past the heavy-handed sound of cabinets being flung open, you could hear Namjoon muttering to himself, and you did what you'd done every time he ended up in one of his pre-full moon tizzies, slipping off his mattress to start sorting his suitcase out.

“I know it's pretty customary that you're gonna be sans clothing on Friday night, but I'm gonna add some underwear to your bag.”

“That was one of the things I was trying to remember! Thank you, baby!”

The thunder of plastic bottles tumbling from clumsy hands to the countertop to the floor was enunciated with a number of curse words, your giggles barely containable at the sound of Namjoon's usual fumbling. Muffling any mirth you had would've been pointless when your boyfriend's hearing was so damn good, but you weren't much worried he'd be bothered by you finding some amusement in his chaos. As keyed up as his emotions could get whenever the wolf in him was growing restless, Namjoon rarely lost his temper and never over anything as simple or as silly as a few chuckles when he was being unintentionally hilarious. If anything at all, it'd just make him more prone to pouting and being the sort of cutely clingy that he tended to be whenever you were alone in your shared apartment.

“Rude,” he groused, words lacking heat and they could've been directed at you or his wayward skincare products in the wake of their avalanche.

Temporary silence fell between you, words lost to the whisper of your busy hands and his rushing feet. In time, the bedroom would look a bit less like it'd been hit by a cyclone and Namjoon would be completely packed, the reason for his present stress dealt with even though his restlessness would persist. This side of him was familiar to you, a routine taking place many times throughout the year, and you'd long ago gotten to a point of being able to see the signs that one of his trips away would be soon to come, even without checking a calendar. The excess of energy always plagued him, chasing away his ability to sit still for very long, to the point that a bouncing leg whenever he tried to read or worked on his music became a noteworthy trigger. He hungered more at such times, healthy appetite doubling to something fierce to account for the cravings of the beast inside him, metabolism working in overdrive the closer he came to the inevitable shift. You hated to think of how much Jungkook packed away whenever the moon was nearing fullness. The kid could clear a table on his own on a normal day, so the added cravings of his wolf side had to make his hunger damn near comical. The lightest growl of your boyfriend's stomach told you that it'd be time to order dinner shortly, not wanting him to feel weak or hungry when he was already so close to overwhelmed.

“Thank you for helping me, YN. Don't know how I ever got all this done without you.”

Namjoon kissed the top of your head, hand on your shoulder and squeezing lightly to further express his appreciation, lingering for as long as he dared before he darted away like your body had burned him when it was his skin that felt like fire. It had scared you the first time you'd felt how hot he became whenever it was about time for a rut or a moon shift, the feverish feel of him having terrified you that he was ill before you'd learned the truth. He'd had to reassure you thoroughly that an increased temperature was perfectly normal whenever his wolf side became agitated for some reason or another, claims that he was all right having been the only thing to calm you all those years ago when you'd learned that your friend was not human. Your knowledge of werewolves had been rudimentary at best in the years prior to having met Namjoon and the rest, so there were a number of things regarding pack life and more that you hadn't learned before him. Small as the general werewolf population tended to be, the ins and outs of their lives and how they functioned wasn't common knowledge. Had it not been for your friendships with Namjoon's pack, you likely never would have learned about how resilient werewolves could be to frigid temperatures even outside of a shift or how their heightened senses of smell could make them aware that your cycle was approaching well before you'd started having cramps that month. It'd all been one hell of a learning curve and one which Namjoon, in particular, had helped you through with patience as well as warmth, especially after you'd started dating.

With all he'd taught you and all you'd witnessed during your years together, you felt as if you'd become a bit of an expert at understanding what Namjoon was feeling whenever he was 'wolfing out', as Jungkook liked to call it. The antsy antics he displayed often stemmed from suppressed needs, the desire to run through the woods, feast, and fuck making him feel a wildness in his veins that made being in the city feel akin to being caged. He spoke many times of longing for the smell of the trees all around him, the sound of distant yet familiar howls echoing in a dark forest while the powerful glow of the moon encouraged that side of him, willed him to be as he was beneath the human visage he possessed. He ached to be out with his fellow wolves, tussling and racing each other through bush and brush, affection a very important aspect of pack dynamics. It was one thing that was so customary to him, to his very being, that could make being with you when the moon was close to full so trying for him, though he would never say so. Although you were no wolf, utterly human, you'd long ago been accepted as a de facto part of the Bangtan pack and your place among them had only felt solidified to the boys once Namjoon had officially asked you to be his girlfriend. His feelings for you, the close bond you shared, made him long to give in to the stronger impulses he felt to be even more loving than usual and resisting it all, fighting back that side of him, amped up his restless energy tenfold whenever you were near as a rut or moon shift was about to come upon him. Arousal came more easily to him at such times and that made him worry, afraid to give in to how badly he wanted to just hold you, nuzzle his face against the side of your neck to cover you in his scent. It led to his touches pull away before long, before he could ever allow himself to relent to temptation.

It had scared you a little at the beginning when Namjoon had sat you down to explain himself, not out of fear that he would do you harm, but as a result of what you'd been accustomed to in the past. The man you'd dated before him had been cruel, uncaring of your bodily autonomy, and it had left you damaged in the years after that relationship had come to an end. That Namjoon knew of your experiences in the past and remained gentle with you, respectful of your boundaries, had helped the disquiet you'd felt as he'd initially described what ruts were and how lustful they could make him. Your sex life had started slowly, allowing you time to grow comfortable with his touch, until intimacy had long become something you craved rather than cringed over or feared. Namjoon, knowing himself and knowing you, had made certain from the beginning to always let you know whenever he was close to a time when his wolf side would become more dominant in him and he always left well before his urges were at their most pronounced. You'd appreciated him for taking trips away to ensure your comfort, confident that he would never hurt you or do anything you didn't welcome even if he stayed home instead. You had been thankful, though, that he refused to take any risks. Despite missing him in the days and nights while he was gone, it had provided you with such peace of mind to know that he was taking precautions for your sake. As his trips became more familiar and as your relationship blossomed into the deep love you now shared, full moon nights had finally become more lonely than calm.

As you folded up another one of his shirts, you swore you still felt the warmth of his hand left behind on your shoulder and you wanted so badly to have it back. Quick kisses and embraces, light brushes of his fingers across your cheek, never felt like enough. For the past two full moons and at least one rut, you'd found yourself wishing more and more for him to not hold himself back. Namjoon had never asked if you'd want to go with him during one of his trips, but you wanted him to, realizing that you'd long ago lost any notions of fear at the thought of being with him while his wolf was in control. Namjoon was the wolf and the wolf was Namjoon. They were one and the same, deeply entwined within the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, and the more things went unchanged, the more discontent you became that part of your relationship had been shackled by the shadows of your past. Unafraid and desperately wanting in your own way, you really just longed to let your boyfriend have you unfettered and wild.

“YN, you're going to be the absolute death of me.”

“Hm?”

You looked over your shoulder, eyes led from the suitcase to the man whose belongings filled it. There was a look of near agony on Namjoon's face as he hovered near his dresser, gripping the edges tight with his head bowed, eyes squeezed shut in what looked like painful concentration. His hands trembled, wood creaking under the pressure of his grasp, and you wondered if he could have splintered it had he not been so controlled. He took in a deep breath, inhaling slowly, and he exhaled with a soft groan, shoulders pinched hard as his brow. When his eyes opened, head lifting, he stared at you through the reflection of the mirror just before him and the gentle brown of his eyes flashed a brief, heated amber. There was a longing in his gaze, deep and desperate, but fiercely restrained as well and he shivered with another breath.

“You smell like you're wanting me right now, sweetheart.”

Over a year ago, a comment like that would have mortified you beyond words, and learning that Namjoon was capable of smelling even the slightest hint of arousal on you had left you feeling shy so many times in the past. You hadn't really been aware that he could do so and he'd never commented on it before you'd had sex for the first time, detecting every instance in which you'd gotten wet from his kisses without bringing attention to it before you were comfortable being intimate with him. After you'd gotten used to him being so knowledgeable about the shift of your scent, you'd stopped being bothered by it and even found yourself becoming even more turned on whenever he'd smirk your way, slyly asking if you were aching for his touch. For the moment, Namjoon seemed more put off by being able to scent the growing heat between your thighs than you were over him pointing it out.

“I might. Kinda hard not to when I know you're gonna be gone all weekend.”

Letting go of the dresser, Namjoon made his way over to where you sat on the floor, crouching down next to you with a heavy sigh. The golden hue of his eyes had faded, returned to their usual color, wolf wrestled back as he settled a hand against the back of your head and he leaned in to press his brow to yours.

“I'll be back before you know it, baby, and when I get home I'll make you feel so good, I promise.”

“I know you will. You always do.”

No matter how badly he may have wanted to seek more now, lead you into his arms to give you more than a few fleeting kisses, you knew he wouldn't. Too concerned for you, worried about your comfort level, he allowed for little more than a light peck, and though he smiled when he pulled back, it looked slightly pinched with discomfort. He held himself back instead of holding you as he wanted to, standing to head to the doorway while every inch of him seemed tense, making it so difficult for you to throw caution to the wind and your plans aside so you could sex up your ceaselessly sweet boyfriend.

“I'm gonna run and grab us something to eat. The cool air might do me some good. Anything, in particular, you're hungry for?”

'You' was the first word that came to mind, but you muffled the urge to say it and simply shook your head instead, letting Joon know that you were fine with just about anything. He was probably hungrier than you were at any rate and he knew your preferences well enough that he'd definitely bring back something you'd enjoy. Given the frustration and urges he was dealing with you wanted him to go with whatever satisfaction he could obtain, for the time being, something else to tide him over until you let him become privy to what you intended for him once he left town.

“I'll be back shortly.”

Namjoon blew you a kiss from the door frame and regardless of what was on his mind, the wildness pulsing like pure energy beneath his skin, the sweetness in his smile was far from forced. You held up a hand, pretending to catch the flying smooch, and he let out a bark of laughter at the sight before he headed out into the living room. You busied your hands with a few pairs of socks, getting them situated in his suitcase, staying focused on your task until his footsteps drifted away, the front door closing with his departure. When you were alone, with no indication that he might return suddenly for a forgotten wallet or the like, you got up to find your phone inside your purse. Pulling up Taehyung's number from your contacts, you hit the call button and waited for the line to click, his deep voice greeting you.

“Hey, Tae. I'm helping Joon get his stuff packed for the trip out to the cabin this weekend. I just wanted to check if you were still good with what we talked about?”

“Yeah. I already told the guys about it, except for Joon. As far as he knows I'm driving up a bit after everyone else, because of stuff with Tannie's dog sitter. I'll be able to bring you out with me no problem.”

“Great. I really appreciate this, Tae.”

“I'm happy to help. Honestly, I hate keeping things from Joon, but when it's for a good reason like this, I'm all right with a little cloak and dagger stuff. He's probably gonna be a little floored at first, but I think he's gonna be really happy and honestly, I'm happy for you. I'm glad you've gotten to a point where you feel comfortable doing this.”

“Me too.”

You smiled at Tae's words, the delight in them, and reflecting on how far you'd come from where you'd once been just made you feel even more excited for what was to come. Although you were human, you felt filled to the brim with your own sort of anxious energy, looking so forward to what would happen come the full moon. Before Namjoon, the notion of sex, in general, had left you panicked and after a few years with him, many nights spent pressed beneath his body, the confidence you felt in seeking to have him in a way you hadn't just yet was welcome.

“I do wanna ask, though, if you're 100% certain about doing this. I mean, I know you are, but just to be positive that I'm actually doing the right thing as your friend who really loves you, are you completely sure this is what you want? Being with Joon when he's in a full shift is gonna be really different from how it is normally and he'd never mark you without your consent, but he'll want to bad. Is that what you're hoping for? 'Cause for werewolves, that's as good as being married. It's a for life thing, you know?”

“I know, Tae. I promise I've thought about this a lot and if Namjoon does end up wanting to mark me then I'm gonna encourage it. It's what I want and what I have wanted for a while now.”

Although you couldn't see Tae's face, you had a feeling that he'd begun to smile, a soft laugh of genuine happiness coming from the other line to make you picture that precious, boxy grin of his.

“God, YN...you're gonna be an official member of our pack by the end of the weekend. Like, officially official.”

You thought of all the boys reacting the same way as Taehyung, expressing delight that the friend they'd considered one of their own would be joining their pack in a capacity that could be recognized in werewolf society. Being seen as one of the group and being one in a way that other packs would detect and accept gave you an even deeper sense of the familial bond you'd already started to feel over the years. Namjoon was the love of your life and the boys were like the brothers you'd never had. All of that becoming what equated to law by wolf standards was just icing on the cake, further solidifying the connections you held so dear. The only hitch to be concerned about would be determining if Namjoon was truly on board with it. He could always reject mating and marking you out of continued concern for your comfort. You just hoped he wouldn't. You'd respect whatever decision he came to in the end, but your heart would remain optimistic that by the time the full moon dipped away to make way for the sun, Namjoon and yourself would reach another level of commitment in your relationship.

“So, how do werewolves celebrate when a couple in their pack becomes officially mated anyway?”

“After said couple is done fucking each other to exhaustion?”

“Yeah.”

“Eh, we all sleep until noon and then we have a party. Yoongi and Seokjin already bought an absurd amount of meat so we can grill out. I'm also pretty sure Hobi and Jimin snagged some champagne so we can pop some bottles for you two. I'll be amazed if any of us manage to make it to Monday without a hangover. You know us. We're a bunch of party animals.”

“The best party animals.”

“Awwww!”

There was time yet before Taehyung would see you face to face, ready to drive you out to the boys' shared cabin outside of the city. There was packing to do, for Namjoon and yourself, and a workweek to finish. The next day would hopefully pass by soon, your readiness for what was to come certain to make all the hours ahead feel as if they were slowing to a crawl. The wait, however, would all be worth it.

-

In the moonlight, the cabin looked welcoming, standing out among the darkness of the night and the seemingly endless sea of trees like a lit beacon. The two-story structure boasted a size perfect for a house full of seven young werewolves, seeming as if it might be able to contain their usual zaniness and ever unfettered energy. You could envision the boys rushing about its halls, milling about across the wide back deck with a grill burning bright to fill the clean air with the scent of smoke and sizzling meat. Although their voices could not be heard, you imagined how much Jin's squeaking laugh and Hobi's hysterical sound effects might echo, if the noise might travel across the lake just steps away from the deck. You stood alone, trying to picture it all, mesmerized by the view of distant mountains and an impenetrable tree-line, the black of the lake dotted by the shimmer reflection of the moon shining down on its depths. Somewhere out there, far beyond the calm of the cabin property, a long howl resonated and you wondered if it belonged to your wolf or not, unable to imagine finding him in the forest all by yourself.

It'd been difficult for Taehyung to hang back for your sake, waiting until after his precious brothers had already left for their usual moon retreat to start making his way there. As a pack, their bond was unbreakable and they did almost everything together most days, especially where it concerned the dynamics of their supernatural nature. As Tae had explained during the drive out of the city, fingers restlessly drumming the steering wheel, shifting together as soon as the moon rose was a freeing feeling for them all. There was no real pain in maintaining their human forms every day, as it was simply another part of who they were, but there was a greater sense of release and relief in a shift. Shedding their common visage away to stand tall and proud, reveling in the power magnified by the moonlight, felt to them like coming home after being away for too long, so time spent at the cabin was priceless. He described it as being similar to a family reunion for how important it was even though the boys already spent every day of their lives together in some way.

You felt guilty for Tae to have been absent for that first moment of communal shifting, hating that he'd missed out on something so special to help you out, but he wouldn't hear a word of apology. Pack bonds were held dear and he felt that any momentary longing he experienced in hanging back a few hours was worthwhile if it meant solidifying your position in the group. The long drive from city to isolated nature may have been a struggle for him as the sun started to set, winding roads lit up by headlights, but he made the most of it. Together, you'd had a long session of on the road karaoke to pass the time and help the both of you deal with your own different feelings of needy anticipation. The sun had fully dipped below the horizon, the sky turning from colored fire to starlit black by the time you'd made it to the cabin and the large home being empty told you that the boys had already quested out into the trees. As you unloaded the trunk of the car, Tae reassured you that he could hold off on helping you find Namjoon until you were ready, fighting his urges as he shuffled his legs anxiously. You promised him you only needed to change first, not wanting to keep your friend or your lover waiting for all the things there were to look forward to.

There was little time for you spent alone on the deck, gazing across the water as you felt a breeze softly whooshing past your bare legs, body kept warm by the long pea coat you'd donned to combat the autumnal chill. Tae had been waiting patiently for you and you felt his presence joining you after not more than a minute once you'd stepped back outside, his body settling to stand right beside your own. He matched the way you'd draped your elbows over the wooden railing, his slightly curled hair heavy in his eyes and you watched how his gaze dimly lit up at the sight of the moon. His body heat seemed to burn even without you touching him, the fact that he'd stripped down to a pair of sweats making it seem as if he ought to be cold, but you knew better.

“You ready to find him?”

“Yeah.”

His beaming eyes searched your face, looking for signs of uncertainty or fear, and you patted his cheek to further quiet his worries just in case your smile wasn't telling enough. He didn't ask again if you were prepared, jerking his head sharply, piercing gaze led towards the edge of the property where trimmed grass bled into a thicket of trees, sensing something you couldn't. When Taehyung moved around you to rush down the steps of the deck, you followed behind, watching where his attention was so focused, trying to make out shapes or sounds. Several breaths passed and in time the chirping of crickets and shuffling of windswept branches was joined by the noisy sound of something massive rushing towards the property, twigs snapped as leaves were crunched. Out of the darkness emerged a shape, a creature almost stark white against the muted hues of the night, and you realized in seconds that it was a werewolf; the first you'd ever set eyes on up close. Tae made way towards the behemoth beast, arms spread wide and laughing as he was scooped up from the ground, embraced warmly.

“You waited for us!”

“Of course! We all missed you during the shift, so I wanted to be here!”

The voice had a slightly rougher quality, deeper than what was known to you, but the gentleness of its tones were unmistakably familiar. As Tae was set back on his feet, the werewolf turned his attention to you, and though his face was not one you knew in such a form, the way his eyes scrunched in delight at the view of you made it simple to tell who it was.

“YN! You really came!”

Jimin crossed the distance in a few quick strides, legs longer and height towering in his shifted form. Everything about him was broad and imposing, thick with unyielding muscle covered in a snowy fur that somehow suited him perfectly, and for all the newness of seeing him in such a way for the first time, you couldn't bring yourself to be at all put-off. Sharp teeth and claws could never diminish the gentleness that Jimin exuded, prompting you to hold out your arms as he neared to embrace him just as you knew he likely wanted. Your friend lowered himself to his knees and he set his long maw to rest on your shoulder, the sheer size of his arms enveloping you almost entirely.

“Hey there, Chim,” you greeted, hugging him back as you marveled at how soft his fur actually was and you laughed as he stood with you in his hold, feet far from touching the ground.

Feeling an urge too irresistible to fight, you scratched the back of his head, and Jimin kicked a foot against the ground like a pampered pup just to amuse you both, nearly falling over with his giggles. Laughter had a way of making it hard for him to remain upright, but he managed to regain his balance while he held you close.

“Try not to cling for too long, Jimin. We don't want to cover her too much in our scents.”

“I know, I know.”

Hearing such pouting tones coming from so fierce-looking a creature was honestly fairly funny, but you didn't laugh as Jimin set you down, attention on Tae as your friend turned his back your way, shrugging off his sweats to cast them aside. The impulse you felt was to look away at the sight of his nude state, offer him privacy even while he stripped without shame, but you were too caught up in your own curiosity when you knew what was about to take place. Seeing any of the boys in their wolf forms was a new experience to you and you'd never bore witness to the process of shifting, knowing it was to come when Tae tilted his head back, facing the moon.

“It's not as awful as it sounds,” Jimin reassured you, noting the way you flinched when Taehyung bent to the ground with a deep growl. “The first few shifts are a little painful, but they're no worse than popping your back during a stretch once you've gotten used to them.”

Calming as Jimin's words were, you couldn't stop yourself from tensing with worry as you heard the vicious cracking and popping of joints, watching as Tae's body shuddered and writhed. Muscles bulged and limbs elongated, happening so fast while seeming far too slow to you, all of Tae's features warping into something far from the model-like beauty he typically possessed. Thick fur, a warm caramel color, grew across his skin, covering his growing body until the coat of hair cloaked him almost entirely, protecting him further from the chilly evening temperature. By the time he'd nearly completed his transformation, you'd transitioned from worried to full of wonder, watching him as he threw his head back again to howl out his elation, and the sound was answered all across the distance by calls from his brothers as if they were welcoming him home. Hyped and happy, Tae bounded over to Jimin and yourself, skidding to a sudden halt just short of knocking into his friend, looking about like he was smiling.

“Feeling better, Taehyungie?”

“Definitely!” he agreed, his already deep voice rougher with his change while still managing to sound almost innocent in his absolute glee. “Now, let's get you to Namjoon!”

Tae scooped you up, lifting you without strain, and he seemed ready to dart right off towards the trees, given pause by your immediate protests.

“Woah, woah, woah! Pump the breaks a second, Captain Fuzzy! Let me grab my duffel bag first!”

“Oh yeah. Sorry. Forgot about that.”

He walked you over to the deck, setting you down on the steps so you could head inside to fetch it, calling for you to hurry with all the hyperactive delight of a kid getting to visit a candy store. The energy he'd been suppressing during the drive had finally burst forth from the seams, leaving Tae to jubilantly bound around and embrace the freedom of relenting to his inner wolf. You could hear him tackling Jimin to the ground as you made way towards the back doors of the house, the sound of the two playfully tussling across the grass making you snicker. They'd probably be at it all night, chasing and wrestling, probably hunting as well. At some point, it seemed feasible for them to track down Jungkook, still sore from what you understood about the youngest of their pack wiping the floor with both of the older boys during the last full moon. Werewolves could be competitive creatures and they weren't quick to let go of a challenge.

The duffel bag you'd packed had been left right inside the house beside the doors, the contents not terribly heavy and only containing a few supplies you felt would be necessary for the night you had ahead of you. Even without its weight being much of a strain, Tae was quick to take it from you the moment you reappeared at the top of the steps, slinging it across his back.

“Okay. Now I'm ready. Let's go find my mate.”

“You're already calling him that?” Jimin asked, voice tinged with accompanying giggles, sounding quite thrilled.

“That's what we should hopefully be before the night is over unless it's not what Joon wants.”

“He does, YN. Believe me. He absolutely does. You're about to make our leader a very happy wolf.”

Jimin patted your shoulder with one massive, clawed hand and then Taehyung lifted you up again, the position of being carried bridal style making you a little nervous given how little you had on beneath your coat. If the boys noticed or cared, they didn't say a word, both of them heading along towards the woods.

“I'm gonna take her to that clearing near the crooked stream. Think you can find Namjoon and bring him that way?”

“Of course. Not that I'll probably need to. The second he catches a hint of YN's scent on me, he'll probably go running straight to where she is.”

You hoped he would, impatient to see him even though you'd gotten a glimpse of him that morning before he left. If Namjoon would figure out the reason for your arrival once he became privy to your presence in the first place wasn't a certain thing, but no matter what might happen or what decision he might make about your hope to solidify your bond further you knew it wasn't a waste of time to be there. You'd gone far too long without seeing the full extent of Namjoon's wolf side and at the very least, you wanted to become familiar with that part of him. You needed him to see how much you welcomed him, no matter his form, loving him as much at his most primal as you did during a regular day.

Watching as Jimin eventually darted off into the night, seeking out the scent of his leader, you held on tight to Taehyung as he picked up the pace, unafraid of any potential dangers which may have been lurking out in the woods. With a pack of werewolves you cherished out among the trees, you knew without any worries that you'd be safe come what may.

The pack protected their own.

-

There was nothing dark or dim about the clearing.

You'd had some concerns that it might be necessary to build a small campfire or light a few of the tiny electric lanterns you'd packed to chase away the shadows of the late hour. The moon had rendered them essentially unnecessary, the vivid glow brightening up the open space substantially, giving you plenty of light to see even without having the enhanced vision of a wolf. It was all very scenic really, in a different way from the property where the cabin stood however many miles away. The area was more untamed and felt even more isolated, perfect for a night you hoped to spend distracted in the arms of your lover.

The thick blanket you'd brought along had been spread wide beneath the trunk of a large, its leaves having not yet surrendered to the fall season, though a few littered the ground here and there to create an audible crunch beneath the press of your boot heels. The creek just a few paces away was a tiny, winding thing, but its gentle flow provided a quiet symphony alongside the rustling breeze, creating a soundtrack of nature that was worthy of an ASMR recording. Had you been tired, the sounds would've been wonderful to fall asleep to and you wondered if they might help you drift off much later, after Namjoon had helped you reach a level of content exhaustion you'd only ever experienced from his touch. The thought of that and of him, all the memories you carried of hours spent pleasured by his hands and mouth, his words and his cock, made your restless pacing quicken in your own needy state of impatience. Nearby, crouched low beside the creak with his tail sweeping across the grassy ground, Taehyung bristled, privy to the path of your thoughts thanks to the spiced scent of your dull arousal. You couldn't find it in you to be embarrassed by knowing of his awareness when the whole pack realized what would be happening that night. The time for shame concerning your wants had long passed for you, left behind with the bad experiences and memories you'd been healing from for years, aided by the care and love of not just Namjoon, but your supportive friends as well.

You could admit to some guilt for Taehyung's position, left to wait with you when he'd already surrendered much of his night to help you and now you could imagine he felt all the more anxious being in the company of your aroused state. His love for you was like yours for him, completely platonic in every way, and you had no worries about him wanting you, but you also understood that the scent had its effects regardless when the moon was full. Being fully tied to his wolf side, embracing and relishing the full extent of his nature, meant that certain primal things could leave him feeling all the antsier. Thoughts of sex, the scent of a longing for it, was definitely one huge stimulant and you could only guess how badly Tae was looking forward to being able to run off some of the added vigor the smell may have been giving him.

“It's all right to leave, Tae. I'm sure I'll be fine here by myself until Joon shows up. Why don't you go out and have fun?”

He made a sound that began as a disagreeable growl only to end in a slight whine, your cajoling seeming to leave him terribly conflicted. His tail flicked back and forth a bit faster, hard enough to knock a small rock a short distance across the ground. It slowed after a moment, thumping slow and heavy against the earth, and he turned his head to stare at you. Had he still worn his human face, you could imagine that his lips would've been pouting.

“Not going anywhere. It's everyone's responsibility to look after our pack members, especially when they might be vulnerable. I'm staying until I know it's safe to go.”

Somewhere, not far terribly far away, you heard a long howl cutting through the night and the sharp points of Tae's ears faintly twitched. He listened to the sound, angling his head in the direction it seemed to possibly come from, and after a moment he chuckled softly.

“Seokjin is a few miles west of us. I'm guessing Jungkook is messing with him.”

“Does his shit-giving get worse when the moon is full?”

“Oh yeah. We dish it back big time, though.”

“Kinda neat that you can tell who it is just from hearing them howl. It must be a human thing, but each one I've heard tonight hasn't really sounded different to me.”

“Think you have to be a wolf to really distinguish howls, yeah. It's helpful for us when we wanna keep tabs on each other, especially when we all go off and do our own thing. Can't exactly use our cellphones when we're here in the woods, so it keeps us connected. Sucks not to be able to use emojis, though.”

“Or snap a few selfies. Those'd make for some interesting Instagram posts.”

“#fullmoonisbestfilter.”

The mental image of a giant werewolf holding a cellphone to snap a few photos was only made funnier by Taehyung's suggested social media hashtag. You could just about picture what a selfie like that would look like and it made you kind of regret not bringing your cellphone along in the duffel bag just to give him the opportunity to try capturing such an image. It wasn't as if he could post such a thing to social media given that it wasn't common practice for werewolves to broadcast their shifts that way, but it would've been nice for you to have the memory stored in your phone. Tae, at any rate, seemed to agree that the subject of supernatural selfies was a hilarious one, laughing heartily over it, and you did hope the amusement made him feel a little better. Keeping him at least a little entertained, even if only through conversation, was the least you could do to help make the time pass a little faster for him. It helped to keep your mind occupied as well by trying to keep your neediness at bay as much as possible.

Your thoughts would always stray back to Namjoon eventually, however, his presence ever-present on your mind, as steadfast there as he was in your heart. It sounded terrific to consider that you wouldn't have to be away from him during the full moon again after that night if things worked out okay. Not all your time needed to be spent together and you wanted him to have plenty of occasions to just be with the boys without any of the potential hindrances which might come with guarding a human mate against the damaging threats of the wilderness. It would simply be a nice change to know that you could be a bigger part in this half of his life, that maybe you could be there waiting for him at the cabin near sunrise to welcome him back and not picture him being shut away all by himself whenever a rut set in. You wanted to give him even more acceptance for who and what he was, just as he'd given endless support to you through all the dark memories and old scars you bore. Coming to the decision to take things further, affirming your commitment in a way that would have so much meaning for him, had been so easy once you realized you were ready. The only downside to that readiness was not yet knowing if Namjoon would be fully on the same page, if he could accept that you wanted to make things more or less official between you. The boys had given their reassurances, spoken with their own certainty that it was what Namjoon had been hoping for, but there was no telling if he'd been hoping for a mate bond in the future rather than closer to the present. Until you heard an agreement or refusal from him directly, you couldn't fully push back the nagging fear of rejection.

“They're close, YN. Now might be a good time to stop worrying.”

“What gave it away? My smell?”

“Nah. Just your pacing. Don't have to read all that nervous energy you've got going on to see how restless you are.”

“Sorry. I'm excited and nervous as hell. God, I'm basically proposing to my boyfriend. How do people survive doing this? I feel like I'm about to spontaneously combust.”

“I'm not mated, so I don't know, but I think what you're feeling is probably par for the course. Just try to keep in mind what Jimin and I told you and don't actually explode or anything. Would be really sad if you did that.”

A distinctly close howl startled you, had you just about jumping out of your skin when you hadn't expected it, the greeting call preceding the loudly panted breaths of an approaching werewolf, his claws tearing up the ground as he ran. Jimin's snowy form bounded across the sloped ground leading down towards the creek, clearing the thin body of water to land on the side where Tae and yourself stood, body creating a loud thud when he touched down. He didn't try to embrace you in what was his usual way of greeting his loved ones nor did he try to tackle Taehyung to resume the prior wrestling they'd engaged in, a hint more serious than how he'd been roughly an hour ago. With a brief glance your way, Jimin stepped aside to join his best friend, their eyes on you as silence fell across the clearing, and even the wind seemed to still, the forest almost appearing to anticipate the arrival of a pack alpha. Gaze fixed towards the slope across the creek, you had not long to wait before another shape appeared through the sparsely spaced trees, moving faster even than Jimin had, to the point where it seemed almost a blur until you were joined in the clearing by the very wolf you'd been waiting for.

Your breath caught in your throat, awe rendering you voiceless as Namjoon slowly rose to his full height from the crouch he'd landed in, standing so tall he made his younger pack members appear small by comparison. Having some idea of what to expect after seeing Tae and Jimin's true forms had in no way prepared you for the sight of him or how it would make you feel to finally see Namjoon's wolf for the first time. He radiated pure power, the fierce look of him so broad and strong that you knew he could destroy any challenge he faced in a matter of seconds, rending any enemy to pieces with the length of his sharp talons and his piercing fangs. Namjoon's usual leanness was lost to a thicker musculature, rich brown fur looking close to black in the moonlight while his eyes were nearly as bright as the evening glow. You were acquainted with that vivid amber, accustomed to seeing it in flashes while Namjoon remained visibly human and handsome, but that night the fiery hue lingered on, gleaming further at the sight of you before his eyes. He had the intimidating look of what many would describe to be a monster while looking nothing of the sort to you. In fact, the vision of him made you feel safe and warm rather than petrified, the unyielding fondness the sight of his dimpled smile gave you still felt even without the presence of them that night. What was more was the fact that your body responded readily to his presence, the ache of your unabated arousal only growing further, reacting to his wolf just as it always did the human side you were used to.

Namjoon could smell it, breathing deep and slow, savoring the perfume of it without letting you out of his sight, long fingers curling and clenching into shaking fists as he made himself stay away despite whatever impulses he felt to move closer. A sound near to a growl, low and rumbling without threat, resonated deep in his chest, expressing how pleased he was by you even in spite of the conflicted feelings you were sure he had over you being there. Reluctance and doubt aside, the air between you felt magnetic, like invisible sparks were crackling with the threat of an inevitable lightning strike, but the night was utterly clear and so were your intentions.

“Jimin, Taehyung.”

The boys perked up at having their leader address them.

“Give us a minute, but don't go too far.”

He wanted them near for his peace of mind as much as your own, you realized, and you wanted nothing more than to give him all the reassurances in the world that your being there that night was no mistake. The boys would follow whatever commands their alpha gave so long as they were within reason and they understood Namjoon in a way you likely didn't given the pack bond they shared, their connection enabling a different sort of closeness from what you had with him. Werewolves could sometimes get a sense for the moods of their fellows, determine when they were in pain or danger, so if Namjoon's own anxiety could not be quieted without the knowledge that he had some of his fellow wolves nearby to help keep him calm then you wouldn't protest. You just hoped Jimin and Taehyung would realize when things were going well and provide the privacy you preferred for what you were hoping would take place shortly.

Your friends began to tread away, sparing neither Namjoon nor yourself a glance and in turn, neither of you watched them leave, eyes focused strictly on one another. You knew when they were gone by the sound of Namjoon's voice, the coarse timbre of it throaty and deep while still being the undeniably warm, comforting one you loved to hear every day. That it sounded a little different didn't negate that it was still his voice, still him, and you smiled to hear it.

“I almost didn't believe my nose when Jimin showed up smelling like you. It didn't make any sense to me why you'd be here, but he said you were and I knew he was telling the truth the closer we got. Even miles away and I can scent you easily.”

Namjoon closed his eyes as he sampled of your scent, looking intoxicated over it, and he'd been that way so many times before. You could remember the first time you'd finally felt comfortable letting things become a little more physical between you, how he'd spent a moment just breathing in the fragrance of you so wet for him, speaking praises for how delectable a treat you were. He'd left you weeping with pleasure that night, giving you a true taste of just how right and how good sex could be with a caring lover. You'd become addicted to the feel of him since, frequently in need of the sweep of his hand between your thighs or the sound of him groaning your name as your mouth swallowed his cock down deep. Even a short reflection of those parts of your relationship looked to be enough to make your arousal swell, intensify, and Namjoon backed away a step as the smell invaded his senses further, cautious of what it was doing to him.

“YN, why did you come here?”

“Don't you know from the way I smell right now?”

“I know that it's dangerous to want me tonight.”

He seemed to want to look away, put what was so clearly before him out of sight, out of mind. The ability to do as much looked to fail him, gaze pinned on you, and every inch of his massive body looked deeply tense. It was like every muscle he had compelled him to move forward, to head toward you, but he couldn't stop fighting them. He was at war with his very nature, resistant to the allure of your detectable longing, and with everything you'd been told about a werewolf on a full moon, you had to marvel at the level of self-control he had. Namjoon holding himself back, putting your peace of mind first, was something he'd practiced since the beginning of things between you. It was what led him to leave town whenever he felt the stirrings of a rut making him want to mate and mark you, fuck you full of all the cum your body could take. Every full moon which had risen since he'd become your friend and especially those arriving after you'd begun to date had driven him away, keeping you safe even though you knew more than anything that you were the safest you could ever be while he was at your side. Did Namjoon not see the iron-clad control he wielded at that very moment? Could he not understand how impossible it was for him to ever do you harm?

“I don't think it's dangerous at all. There are plenty of things that could hurt me out here in the woods and you're definitely not one of them, Joon.”

You took half a step towards him and only that much, not wanting to push him into anything he might not truly want. Even having you that much nearer was enough to generate a low growl, but not out of a need to threaten or warn you. It was for him, for the fight inside him that he was desperately trying to win, even though he wasn't sure which side he wanted to see emerge victoriously. The conflict of wanting to do right by you while also giving you what you seemed to want, what he wanted so badly, had him panting, breathing slowly yet ragged enough to make him seem like he'd just run a marathon. With as far as he'd come to find you, he essentially had.

“YN, you can't come any closer than that. I need you to stay right there. It's taking all that I have in me not to touch you and I can't let that happen. Not tonight. Not when the moon is full and I'm like this. Every part of me is screaming for the chance to mate you, leave my mark, and make you mine. You smell...fuck...it's intoxicating. You smell so much sweeter tonight, baby. I knew you'd smell like this on the full moon. I'm fucking ravenous just for the taste of you.”

Another growl came at the way your scent spiked, core clenching in response to how intense his craving for you was. Even the potency of it couldn't spring him into motion, lead him into the ready embrace you wanted to offer him, and you knew that Namjoon would never break, no matter how difficult or agonizing it may have been to fight his nature back. You hated to see him struggling so much, in pain from the volume of his want, the wolf as close to begging for him to give in to the possibility to mate as you were.

“Would you hurt me, Namjoon?”

“Never,” he answered quickly, bearing his teeth at the very thought, repulsed by the idea of you ever coming to harm at all, let alone by his hands. “I will never, ever hurt you.”

“Not even now?”

“Never.”

His vicious rejection wasn't something you needed to hear, not when you already knew that he'd never harm a single hair on your head, but it was an insistence that was important. He needed to remember what he was capable of and what he wasn't, how truly impossible it was for a werewolf to bring about any type of pain to those he protected.

“Then you don't have to be afraid of yourself, Joon. I know you'd never hurt me. I've always known it. Being with you tonight wouldn't change that.”

“I don't want you to be afraid of me.”

It was the softest his voice had sounded since he'd appeared to you that night and the worry which tinged those tones made your heart ache for him even further when the truth of his own fears were laid out before you. Namjoon knew better than the rest of his pack exactly what you'd been through in the past, privy to all the abuse you'd gone through at the hands of your ex-boyfriend, and he'd witnessed just how deeply all that pain haunted you. You'd let yourself cry with him, be vulnerable in detailing your troubled romantic history in ways you'd never felt able to let yourself with anyone else. Namjoon had given you a safe space to let things out and having someone be so understanding, so kind, and so supportive rather than judgmental or dismissive had meant the world to you. His patience and love had aided your own recovery efforts so wonderfully, adding to the healing you'd done on your own, providing you with the peace of knowing that you'd found a partner in life who would always be cautious of your comfort.

His knowledge of all that damage had made him protective of you, protective against his own nature, and the worry that it might make you see in him what you'd seen in your ex. The idea of you finding his wolf frightening, in turn, frightened him, causing him to do everything that he could to keep that part of who he was as distant as possible. His fear of hurting you was in truth a mask for his fear of you looking upon him with the same fright you'd felt towards the man who you'd loved before him. Namjoon couldn't bear to think of you ever being in that position again and the risk of being a cause for those feelings to return threatened to break his heart. If keeping you safe, making you always feel safe, meant holding himself back, then it was an easy sacrifice. Realizing what he was feeling and understanding the why of his perspective made you want to tear up, pain rising in your chest to figure out just how concerned he was that you might one day fear him.

“I'll never be afraid of you, Joon. No matter what form you take, whether the moon is full or not, you're you and you've never, ever given me any reason to be worried. You've been going away every time your wolf needs to come out, giving me all the time I could ever need to be comfortable, and I am. I promise, I'm okay and I'm not scared. I trust you more than I've ever trusted anyone else. I came here because I want everything that comes with being with you tonight. I want you as much in this form as I do the other.”

“But, baby, being with you tonight...it would mean...”

“I know, Joon. I've known for a while that trying to be with you on a night like this would mean a possibility of being mated. That's one of the reasons I don't want you to push me away. I want to be mated to you and I want your mark.”

Another growl came from him, softer and riddled with flagging restraint, glowing eyes peering at you with a desperate hope as well as a hint of lingering uncertainty.

“If I mark you, we'll be connected for life. It'll be the strongest commitment you can make with a werewolf.”

“I know.”

“This is really what you want? Us, forever?”

He needed the words, the reassurance that they would give him, and you knew visual confirmation of your certainty would help as well. You unbuttoned your coat, parting the warm wool to reveal the nearly nude state of you underneath. Having no further need of it, you dropped the heavy garment to the ground to stand before him, wearing just a pair of panties and knee-high boots, nipples tightening to peaked hardness as your breasts were exposed to the night air. The chill made you want to cover yourself, goosebumps rising across your skin, but you let your arms remain limp at your sides, allowing Namjoon to drink up the sight of you so ready for him, smears of slick already shining on your inner thighs.

“Make me yours, Namjoon.”

Reservations no longer shackling him tight, Namjoon crossing the clearing to reach you and you could finally appreciate just how massive he was as he neared, standing so tall that your full height barely cleared his chest. No one had ever made you feel so comparatively tiny, but it didn't bother you in the least, feeling some excitement over how much bigger he was due to his shift. Even coming to kneel before you didn't diminish the sheer size of him and you smiled at how lacking in hesitation he was as he pulled you to him. Namjoon breathed deep and close, pressing his snout against your lower abdomen, huffing desperately as the close fragrance of your heated core egged on the bestial part of him.

“My pretty mate...” he praised, nosing his way across your belly, claws pinpricks against your hips which never broke through the softness of your skin. “Can't believe you're here and so ready for me, scent all sweet and so warm.”

“I'm glad I am and I'm really happy you want this too.”

“I've wanted it for ages, baby. I always hoped that you'd feel the same someday. Knowing that you want me in this form and that you're craving my mark tonight...you can't even begin to imagine what it's doing to me.”

“Maybe you should show me then.”

Fingers drifted through thick, coarse fur, gripping and tugging with just enough firmness to lead Namjoon up from his knees, bringing him back to towering before you. Human hands sought clawed ones, holding on as you continued to direct him where you wanted him to follow, stepping onto the downy softness of the blanket you'd laid out. Namjoon hesitated for a moment, just a step short of joining you, concerned perhaps for dirt or the possibility of tears to ruin the fabric, but your urging eventually had him right where you needed him. Your lover bent down for you, muzzle pressing against your cheek to replace the kisses he couldn't quite give you without the full lips he usually possessed, and you stroked the side of his neck in an equally affectionate gesture. Curiosity had your fingers moving down, across his chest, feeling how much firmer his physique had become after his shift. Namjoon had always been built to perfection, but there was a definite leanness to how muscular he was, and the added broadness of his larger frame had your mind dancing with images of how completely he would cover your body once he had you underneath him.

A few moments marveling over his chest inevitably took you to your original destination, hand unsteady when you finally started to brush against the length of his cock, looking down to see it, jaw nearly dropping open in wonder at the sight. Before he'd allowed himself to embrace the arousal he felt, Namjoon's length must have been sheathed in some capacity, because there was no way you could have missed the size of him if it'd been visible before. Although ordinarily blessed, his cock was all the more impressive in his current state, so long and thick you knew he'd fill you more deeply than he ever had. He felt heavy, a girthy weight against your hand as your fingers traced along the front of his erection, and the reddened flesh bore the slightest feeling of slickness. The shape was tapered in a way it commonly wasn't in his human form, but it wasn't off-putting and you took note of how there was a flare towards the base, a sort of ridge he'd never had before.

“It's normal to become a little more dominant when it comes to mating, right?”

“A little, yes. Instincts can be intense on nights like this. Ah, fuck.”

Namjoon struggled to speak thanks to the way your hand closed around the tip of his slippery shaft, feeling how it twitched and how he groaned when you stroked halfway down.

“All my impulses are demanding that I tend to you, have you wet and satisfied, greedy to be filled with my cum. I want to taste you and fuck you and bring you so much pleasure as I mark you.”

“Do you think you can hold out just a little bit longer and give me some time to indulge my own impulses first?”

“If it's for you, I can do anything.”

Holding himself back was something he'd gotten adept at, so you knew he was more than capable of keeping his desires at bay long enough to allow you the explorations you wanted. Arduous as it might be, especially when the moon was high and bright, making every craving he felt so much more potent, Namjoon would always keep true to his word. Rather than cause him pain or leave him wanting, it was your hope to worship him in your own way as you took the time to become familiar with this wilder side of him. How his pleasure might sound when he took so easily to growling in his current state, how his eyes might flash gold as you touched him; you needed to experience them. With as often as he dedicated himself to satiating you, he absolutely deserved all the pleasure in the world and you would give him as much as you possibly could.

“Then lay down on your back, Joon. I need to have a taste of you.”

It looked to be a struggle for him to relent that way, his whole body trembling as he held himself back and yet Namjoon yielded to your gentle command regardless of his own desperate need to focus on your body first. Having an alpha essentially at your mercy, doing your bidding without complaint, was an empowering feeling, and it had you smiling, sensuous and so terribly pleased as you watched him lower his body to the blanket. Unaccustomed as you were to seeing him in his present state, fanged and near to feral, he was just as gorgeous to you as he'd ever been, and you couldn't wait to see how he might grit his sharp teeth against the bliss you were about to give him. Namjoon watched you, quiet save for his panted breaths, and you felt like you could've looked into those glowing eyes forever had you not another sight in mind to take in, attention led to the greater thickness of his cock just waiting for your touch. There was no way you'd be able to swallow him down the way you were usually so skilled at doing, not when he was bigger than usual, but that wouldn't deter you from trying or finding any way you could to make him feel so good. Your tongue slipped past your lips, warm and wet as you dragged it from his swollen base all the way towards the tapered tip, dripping with slickness at the sound of his grunt. Namjoon sank his claws into the material of the blanket, certain to leave tears as he tried to seek the earth beneath the fabric to tether himself in place, battling back his longing to touch you.

You opened your mouth to take him in slow, noting the difference in how far your lips had to part to accommodate him. Namjoon as a human was generally girthy and with a fair length, but Namjoon in a full shift was something else, your hands feeling so much smaller as they both wrapped around the middle and base of his shaft. You knew he'd make you ache, leave you deeply full, and the idea of taking on whatever challenge it might be to ease onto him intensified the arousal in you tenfold. Namjoon knew well how to turn you on, a certifiable expert at making you drip, but you felt wetter than ever, more ready and eager for sex than you'd experienced before, and it excited you. There was a wildness of your own brimming within and it had you slurping around the tip of his cock with a noisy suction, letting him pop free just to flash him a smile, corkscrewing your hands slowly up and down his dick.

“I don't think I can swallow you down the way I usually do, Joon. But, I think I've got an idea for how to make up for that.”

“You don't have to make up for anything. You're already making me feel so fucking good just with your soft little hands and that perfect mouth. If you didn't look so damn happy right now, it'd be even harder to keep from burying my tongue in that sweet cunt of yours.”

“I appreciate and admire your restraint, babe. I promise, I just wanna enjoy this for a few minutes and then you can have your way with me exactly as you like.”

Time was something Namjoon had always been generous and kind with. He gave you as much as you needed, as often as you needed it, whether it was time to just explore his body until you felt comfortable and more confident or time to feel ready to go to bed with him. Surrendering to you for now so you could revel in your ability to render so powerful a being desperate and at the mercy of your touch just made your deep appreciation for him grow, magnifying how much you wanted to make tonight incredible for him. He'd wanted you this way for so long and you were happy to let him have you finally, share in something so important to him, smile breaking only so you could fill your mouth with his cock once again. A few moments, working bit by bit, you took him as deep as your gag reflex allowed you to, half-way down and no further, coating his slippery length in further wetness. Less articulate than usual, his typical filthy praises scarcely came, and instead, he groaned or growled out his enjoyment of your efforts to satisfy him, long fingers shaking the harder he gripped onto the blanket. When his cock was visibly wet, enough that your fists glided along it with a fluid stroking, you shuffled forward between his muscular thighs and felt him part them further to give you space.

Namjoon's head, thrown back in the throes of his pleasure, lifted so he could see what you were doing when he felt the front of his prick against your chest, gritting his teeth as if to muffle the whine you'd almost drawn out of him when you pressed your breasts together around his hardness. The position was an awkward one you knew would make your back ache before long, but you weren't so concerned about the prospect of that discomfort, rising and falling to slide his dick between the valley of your breasts.

“Holy fuck!”

His swear let you know how much he enjoyed the visual as well as the feeling, his chest rising and falling rapidly with the quickened state of his breathing. His was long enough that you could bend your head down to swipe your tongue across the tip of his cock now and again, doing so as many times as you could in spite of the fact that it wasn't so comfortable on your neck. The added sensation of your mouth still finding ways to make him feel good could've brought him to his knees had he not already been on his back. As Namjoon watched his erection slip between your breasts, viewed your tongue flicking along the weeping tip, he showed signs that he'd not be able to last much longer, shoulders starting to lift up from the blanket.

“Need to taste you, YN. Need it so fucking bad. Please, baby, you've gotta let me. Gotta tell me it's all right first.”

He didn't want to make you stop if you weren't ready yet, but you could see how anxious he was for his own desires, the scent of you so heavy in the air around him that you were surprised he'd held out as long as he already had after everything you'd been told about the impulsiveness werewolves were prone to during the full moon. You missed the weight of his cock between your breasts straight away, deciding immediately that letting him fuck your tits was one type of foreplay you wanted to revisit in the future, giving your nipples a slight pinch just for a little stimulation. They felt a little more sensitive than usual, the temporary pressure making you gasp and making him grunt. Bending your head, you slipped the head of his cock into your mouth for just a while longer, sucking softly, swirling your tongue around and around the tip for one last, lingering taste of his precum. He tensed and arched hard, body shivering with restraint even after you'd pulled your mouth away, sitting up on your knees between his thighs, stroking your hands across them to feel the warmth beneath his fur.

“It's all right now, Joon. You can let go now.”

Namjoon sat up so quickly it made you stumble back, his large hands cradling the small of your back and the back of your head to ease you into laying down. He was less cautious and slow in the way that his hands circled around your thighs, palms hot against your skin as he pressed your knees towards your chest. It was a position you'd been in countless times, but it had never stopped making you feel excited for what would come next, the needy pulse you felt in your clit making it so hard not to reach down and touch yourself, even if only for a moment. There was no need for that, Namjoon immediately lowering his face towards your cunt, breathing in deep when he was finally as close as he wanted to be to the source of your arousal.

“All wet and ready for me to have you,” he whispered, gruff tones honeyed and warm. “My perfect, pretty mate.”

You felt ruined every time he called you that, addicted to how good and right it sounded, almost as much as you were to the feel of his tongue on your core. The first stroke, the second, they were both slow and without any intent beyond getting a good taste of you, but they felt just right. His tongue, you realized, was like his cock once he was shifted, longer and wider than what you were familiar with. He could cover the whole of your pussy, from your entrance to the hood of your clit with one lave, not an inch of your mound left unattended while he savored you. There was no way for you to experience the soft suction he always employed to leave you a shaking, whining mess, not when his soft lips had been replaced with a long muzzle, but that loss was not so keenly felt. Namjoon more than made up for what he couldn't achieve with what he could, swirling his long tongue around and over your clit with an incredible dexterity, making you grip the thick fur near his pointed ears to convey how good it felt. You whimpered when he stopped yet you moaned when he dipped the wet muscle deep into your sopping entrance, the feeling so different from the stretch of a finger or his dick, but still so amazing. He tasted you from the source of your slickness for just a little while, long enough to have his fill, and you felt like you could've passed out just from how intense the pleasure was when his tongue worked over your clit again.

He could have made you cum in minutes if you'd left him to it. Knowing Namjoon and his affinity for getting you off, he'd have been keen to keep at it until you asked him to stop or the urge to fuck you became too great to ignore. Either could've led to him bringing you over the edge more than once and as tempted as a quicker orgasm might be, as good as he looked swiping his tongue through the wet coating your cunt, the emptiness inside left a nagging demand to be filled up.

“There's lube in the duffel bag,” you gasped out, palming across the cool blanket to try and find it. “I can't reach it.”

Mimicking your actions, Namjoon let go of one of your legs without turning his head to look or stilling his tongue between your thighs, slapping around until he felt the strap of the bag near the edge of the blanket. He jerked it over, close enough for you to grab it, too busy concentrating on how certain motions of his tongue made you keen to watch you shakily rummage through the duffel. Beneath the package of moist towelettes and a change of clothes lay the plastic bottle you'd packed, the cap clicking open with an upward push of your thumb.

“Joon, let me...”

Shit, talking was so hard when your boyfriend kept curling his tongue like that.

“...let me up so I can get some of this lube on us. If I'm cumming tonight, I'd rather it be with you inside me.”

“When, baby,” he assured you, flashing his pointed teeth in what you were sure was as close to a smirk as he could presently manage. “When you cum tonight, not if.”

He may have sounded deeply cocky, but he had all the reason in the world to be when he'd never, not once, failed to make you cum, not even on those occasions when memories and old hurts tried to rupture your focus. Pleased by his insistence on satisfying you and even more by the way Namjoon sat back to let you up, you followed where he went with the bottle hand. You squeezed a generous amount of the clear lubricant into your palm, spreading it first over your pussy, fingers taking a moment to press inside, feeling the anticipatory clench that came from knowing you'd have his cock soon. The excess slipperiness would help with his size, so you tried not to let the additional wetness bother you even if it felt a bit awkward every time, familiarity regardless. Another squeeze into your hand came before you wrapped your fingers around his length, smearing all of it over every inch of his sizable girth, even down to the ridge near the base you weren't so sure you'd be able to take.

Namjoon took the bottle when he felt positive you were done with it, clasping it shut and tossing it aside further than was really necessary. He seemed not to really notice that he'd done as much or care, letting you stroke his dick for a few moments while he leaned in to nuzzle his face against your neck, dragging his long tongue across the thudding of your pulse beneath your skin.

“Hands and knees, YN. Need you like that.”

On some level, you knew the hint of submission in being bent before him was something his wolf craved and you had no qualms about offering that to him. Things had always been equal in the bedroom, with no necessarily defined lines as to who was always in charge, shifting and varying with your shared desires or moods. Sometimes, you took the lead because it was what you needed, other times Namjoon did, but by and large, it was a mutual exchange of taking care of one another. Presenting yourself to him, in a position where he could mount you and fuck you the way the wildest parts of his nature desired, was not something you were opposed to because Namjoon always remained attuned to what you needed or wanted. If the primal side of him would find extra satisfaction in having you with your head cradled by your arms and your ass arched up for him then you were happy to oblige as well as indulge. With a smile and a spike of extra excitement, you turned around to position yourself exactly as he asked, closing your eyes as you steadied yourself on your knees and forearms, one of his massive hands following the length of your spine down to your ass. There was a hint of his claws grazing your skin, light enough to tickle rather than scratch or irritate, barely pinching once both his hands took hold of your hips to steady you, hold you in place while the tip of his cock pressed against your folds. Wanting to help, you reached down between your legs to press your palm under his shaft, helping to guide him into place, fingers dropping away the second he began to breach your core.

You weren't sure if it was through sheer force of will or a desire to relish the initial stretch which kept Namjoon slow, but it helped a great deal that he fed his cock into you so steadily. It felt like taking him the first time you'd slept together, his size something to adjust to yet due to how much wider his length stretched you rather than it having been a long time. In spite of the burn, the ache of accommodating a bigger cock than you were used to, you were excited to figure out just how much of him you could take, the excess of slickness seeming to help a great deal. Behind you, Namjoon continued to gasp and pant, groaning deeper than you'd ever heard, and the sound of his pleasure did what it always did by making you shiver, hungry for more of those guttural noises. You weren't sure how long it took, however many seconds or minutes it may have been, and you couldn't say you knew how much of him was left, but you finally relented to what you knew your body could handle, pressing your forehead to your arms.

“Joon, I don't think I can take any more. You're so big like this.”

“It's okay, baby,” he soothed you, voice soft even despite the harshness in it, the breathless state of it. “You've done so well. Took almost the entire thing and you feel so, so fucking good.”

He released the firm grip of his hands on your hips to bend over you, the fur that covered his chest brushing against your back, clawed fingers coming to rest on the blanket before you and it kept him balanced, ensuring his weight didn't press down upon you. His whole body shielded yours completely, blocking out the glow of the moon from shining over you, and it felt almost protective how he covered you, signifying that he would keep you safe from any harm during the mating, including from himself. Namjoon kept his hips still, letting you get used to him again, snout brushing your hair, nuzzling in place of the regular kisses he couldn't give.

“Do you need me to pull out a little?”

“No. Just need you to be still a bit longer.”

“As long as you need.”

For as much strain as there was in Namjoon's voice, he focused on what you needed. The only motion you felt was the subtlest shift of his cock twitching inside you, responding to the way your walls fluttered around the length of him as you tried to let the tension that came from the discomfort melt away. The overall largeness of him seemed less difficult with time, still so much yet not in a completely bad way. The thrill of trying to take him on lingered, mingling with the pride you'd felt that you'd managed so much of him, and the way it was clearly making him feel to be stuffed nearly to the hilt in your cunt, fulfilling the yearning he'd had to experience you this way while his wolf had been set free. Namjoon was intent on letting you know how much he appreciated it, welcoming your acceptance of him, one large hand lifting from the blanket so he could caress his way over your breasts and down to your stomach, constantly mindful of his claws.

“Never imagined we'd get to be together like this, that you'd want me this way as much as I've always wanted you in this form. Do you know that I've always been attracted to your scent? Falling in love with you took time, took knowing you, but right away, from the first moment I came near you, the way you smelled was exhilarating. Maybe the wolf in me always knew that you would be my mate someday.”

If he'd been instinctively drawn to you due to his nature or not, he'd ultimately been interested in you for more than just a natural affinity for your scent. You'd chosen each other, fallen in love more deeply than you personally could have imagined, and the notion of deepening what was already so wonderful a connection was one that had you bucking your hips, hoping to see things all the way through. The longer Namjoon was inside you, the more you wanted him, and you'd only managed to rock yourself towards his length a few times before he joined you. His first few thrusts remained halting and so cautious, hand returning to the ground to keep himself steady in his crouch as he rutted into you slowly, stretching you open again with each return to your cunt. The burn remained, your inner walls still growing used to it, but it was absolutely something you could handle and you felt pleasure mounting the longer he moved within you, body accepting him with an increasing greed for more, for harder. If his control had still been hanging on by a thread, it was one that remained incredibly resilient with how long he'd maintained so much of his composure. To you, it was more than well past time for him to show you the full extent of his lust, to build upon what he'd hinted at when he'd had his tongue all over your pussy.

You knew he felt it when your fingers brushed over your clit, rubbing slow, tight circles to build on the pleasure his cock was already providing to make it that much better. The feel of you clenching him even tighter and the sound of your soft moan as you toyed with yourself made him growl anew, feeling the vibration of it through his chest when he remained pressed against your back. Namjoon's knees shuffled further apart, affording him the right leverage to thrust into you with a quick snap of his hips, harder than he had yet, and it was everything you'd been hoping for.

“Like that,” you urged him, fingers moving a little quicker. “Just like that, Joon. Faster.”

All notions of slowness and caution forgotten, Namjoon gave in fully to his beast and to your pleading, fucking his cock forward into the waiting heat of your core without any further hesitance. He was swift, setting a pace that would have had you jolting forward across the blanket without the way his body caged you against him, one of his arms wrapping around your midsection to keep you as close as possible as he sought to satisfy you, wreck you entirely. He never slipped deeper than you'd made him aware you could handle, but his length pumped inside harder than you felt he would have dared without your insistence. Rather than being too much, painful, or rough, it felt like pure ecstasy, the thickness dragging along your inner walls to rub relentless pressure against your g-spot. Even your hand falling away from between your thighs didn't seem to diminish the power of the sensations, face hiding against the rumpled blanket and your arms as Namjoon made you sob with pleasure, balls smacking hard against your clit. It felt like the first time he'd ever had you raw, the sense of intense closeness and utter bliss causing your eyes to tear up quickly, the chill in the air long gone to you.

“Mine. All mine. My sweet mate. Always mine.”

Namjoon muttered similar things above you, staking his claim in huffed out assertions of the bond you shared, sounding appeased by having you, knowing that you'd chosen to bind yourself to him forever that night. The hint of possessiveness that edged his words was welcome when you felt the same, heart thudding with the understanding that he was yours too, your mate, your alpha no matter that you weren't a werewolf too. When Namjoon sat back on his knees, taking hold of your hips once more to drive into you hard, but just a bit slower, ensuring that you felt the euphoric force of every thrust, you gazed past the overhanging branches of the tree to see the moon high above, the sight of it so welcoming. There would be so many nights to come where it would bear witness to the two of you tangled up together, reaffirming your connection through tooth and claw and earth-shattering sensation. Your eyes closed with a particularly fierce push of Namjoon's hips, pleasure snapping through all your limbs so hard you thought you could still see moonlight behind your eyelids, whimpering at the loss of contact when Namjoon drew all the way out. In all the times you'd had sex, the absence of his cock had never left you feeling so empty, parted lips prepped for begging that he resume fucking you, a request broken by the shock of Namjoon lifting you off the blanket completely.

He stood easily, dragging your legs over his arms once he'd turned you towards him, and you felt so far from the ground being nose to nose with him, the unsteady feeling less frightening when you could feel how strong Namjoon was. He carried you with an even greater ease than he was capable of in his usual form, the spark of his golden eyes lingering on your face, and then he lowered his mouth to your chest, hot tongue dragging across one nipple as your core clenched with the needy longing to feel him again.

“Joon!”

Led to satisfy your needs and empty himself into you, Namjoon didn't make you wait for much longer, tongue leaving your nipples wet and tender, massive hands leading you back down towards the upward curve of his erection. He lowered you down onto him, pressing inside with a great deal more ease than before, hands drawing you back up quickly, pussy gliding around and gloving his cock to perfection. His thighs tensed, hips rocking towards the crux of your thighs, but his hands and arms did most of the work, leaving you to do little more than hold on tight to the fur covering his chest as he bounced you on his dick. The position felt different but just as incredible as the last, the length of him still pressing against your g-spot with just as much precision, and even that alone was not the sole cause of your moans gaining pitch. The ridge near the base of Namjoon's cock seemed to have swelled the nearer he came to release, the right angle letting you feel the bulge of it butting up against your clit every time Joon led your hips back down. It felt astonishingly good, better even then you thought your fingers would've felt had you tried to touch yourself again, happy to let Namjoon take complete control as he fucked you towards a hard orgasm.

“You're so close. You've gotten so warm and your scent is even sweeter. You're almost ready to take my cum, aren't you, YN? My cum and my mark too...”

“Both. Want them both.”

“Once you cum for me,” he promised, hands squeezing your ass a little tighter as he quickened his pace.

The pressure against your clit made you feel like swooning, barely able to moan or scream for him when it was all you could do just to gasp, breathe when your whole body felt so tightly wound with the approach of your climax. You weren't sure if Namjoon had managed to sink a little deeper or not, no pain lacing your pleasure even when his thrusts bordered on brutal with the force of them, cock hammering away inside your pussy with a noisy, slick slap. There were pinpricks against your skin as his hands held tight, claws pressing down just enough to sting a little, but still without drawing blood. There might be tiny marks left behind on your bottom and you knew you'd be proud to see them, delighted by all that they meant, further eagerness felt at the thought of the mating mark joining them. It wouldn't be long for Namjoon either, his growls and groans making him sound feral like he could've howled for all the bliss he found within you. With hands gripping his fur tighter, you laid your brow to the place just near his shoulder and wept as your cunt and clit throbbed, so close that the moment of finally breaking seemed to take ages to arrive, teasing you with the promise of that building orgasm. Just when you thought you might finally let go, Namjoon's rough voice rumbled out your name and the throb of his cock signaled that he was cumming. It was warmer than ever when he started to spill inside you, filling you up so much that his length was coated in white as he continued to thrust inside you. He'd never cum so much before, giving you a sense of fullness you'd never quite experienced when he'd finished inside you in the past, but for all the mess that it made, you loved every second of it. Namjoon halted his thrusts mid-way through his release, firm hands helping to grind you against the bulging ridge that had paid such care to your clit, spending himself as the pressure you felt finally let go.

Namjoon made a sound that almost resembled a pleased purr at the feel of you tightening around him, tensing against his body with the arrival of your orgasm. You shuddered hard, fingers pulling at his fur as you lost control of your body, jolting and writhing all while he held you steady, rocking you on his length just to keep your high going for as long as possible. His cum had stopped spilling well before your pussy had ceased its rhythmic clenching, toes curling and uncurling in response to each magnified pulse of pleasure. So lost to the all-consuming elation of it, you hadn't noticed Namjoon lowering himself to his knees for several long moments, barely able to comprehend that you were no longer held aloft as you had been, resting instead on his lap.

“That's it, baby. You've done so well. You're so full of me now. Our scents are tied so close like this. All that's left is to tie them closer.”

“Is it time?” you managed to get out, so out of breath and still shaking as your climax held on, softening yet showing not a single indication that it intended to fade away yet.

“Yes. Are you sure? It'll hurt some.”

“I can handle it, Joon.”

You leaned back, feeling one of his hands splaying open against the middle of your back to keep you from teetering off his lap, nodding your head eagerly up at him, ready for anything.

“Give me your mark.”

Although you didn't know what to expect, how he had to go about completing the mating bond, but even the knowledge that it would be painful didn't put you off. You kept your eyes on Joon's face and nowhere else, not even as the steady aftershocks of your release continued on and Namjoon lifted his claws towards the front of his own shoulder. His eyes squinted as he pierced his skin, dragging downward to create three angry, red marks in his own flesh, talons coated in blood as they moved away. The deep crimson left tiny drips on the blanket right along with the creamy spill of his cum continuing to slip past the cradle of his cock within your body, another part of the whole messy process. Namjoon's hand moved behind you, wet claws settling against the back of your right shoulder, and you nodded your head when he asked one final time, voice soft, if you were sure and ready.

To your credit, you didn't close your eyes against the sharp sting of his claws puncturing your flesh, face screwing up from the pain of him mirroring the marks he'd made on himself upon your body. They weren't overly deep and not even that long, but they ached just the same, burning as if he'd lit your skin on fire where the claw marks had been made. You weren't sure if it had some connection to his blood or not, but the sting of it was awful at first, enough to make your already watery eyes tear up all over again. Through the hurt and the pleasure holding on from your release, there was a sense of clarity you couldn't quite explain, an impulse that seemed instinctive to you as the burn suddenly started to subside to a dull ache. Reaching over your shoulder, you trailed your fingertips along the marks, the red of your own blood staining your skin as they were lifted to Namjoon's wounds, tracing your own essence against his. It felt right to do, almost like saying your share of the vows at the altar might, and you wondered if it was all a part of completing the bond with him, ensuring that it was equally connected on both sides. You didn't feel different or changed, altered in any way save for the scars that you would possess after that night, but a peaceful feeling washed over you, growing as your eyes held on the sight of Namjoon's mating mark.

Your lover's howl snapped you out of your daze, startling you as he angled his head up towards the sky, filling the forest with his bellowing cry. It was met seconds later by another, the answering call of one of his pack members resonating across the trees and mountains, close to fading away until someone else responded. Namjoon laid back slowly, cuddling you against his chest with care and softness, cock hardly softening where it remained inside your body as together you counted the howls following his until finally they all amount to seven in total.

“Do they know?”

“Yeah. It's usually customary to signal to the rest of the pack that way whenever you've officially mated. Them calling back means that they acknowledge and accept the bond.”

“So it's kinda like the werewolf version of 'congrats on the sex'?”

Namjoon snorted, making your body shake atop his as he chuckled heartily, probably envisioning the same mental image of Tae and Jimin presenting the both of you with a cake that The Lonely Island would have approved of.

“Sort of, yeah. It's also a pretty good way to let them know that I'm going to be busy with my new mate for the rest of the night.”

“Busy, huh?”

Feeling too tempted to resist, you reached up to playfully boop Namjoon's nose, grinning over his grumble and the shake of his head. It didn't seem to really bother him all that much, one of his hands coming down to gentle swat at your backside and then give it an appraising squeeze.

“Well, not that busy. Ordinarily, there's a lot of sex that comes after a marking, but I'm more than happy just being with you tonight, no matter what we're doing.”

“So, you're saying you don't want a round two?”

He squeezed your ass a little harder and deep inside your cunt you could feel his cock moving, alluding quite clearly to his eagerness for more.

“We don't have to, YN. I know you must be sore.”

“I'm not that sore.”

You sat up, letting your thighs remain comfortably settled in their state of framing his hips. Running your hands through the dark fur that covered his stomach, you moved your fingers higher until you could balance your weight against his chest, giving your hips a slow, experimental roll.

It felt so damn good.

“I could go again.”

“Well, if that's what my mate wants...”

Namjoon looked ready to remain on his back as you took the reigns, satisfaction tangible in the way he bore his teeth, and you leaned into the feel of his hands settling upon your breasts. The mark on your shoulder burned without pain, responding to his touch. It was warm and welcome, a feeling of comfort greeting the desire spiking inside you again. New as it was and as much as it would take some getting used to, you thought you'd get to like it quite quickly, with equal enthusiasm as you'd come to feel towards fucking Namjoon while he was shifted.

You couldn't wait to find out how much fun his next rut might be.

- -

Sunlight, faint and not quite warm, grew across your skin as it stretched far and wide over the world, pushing back against the retreating dark of the night. It crept along slow and steady, replacing hues of deep blue with orange and soft pinks. Bird song alerted you to the arrival of dawn, the sweet sound a bit less so to your tired ears as you tried to cling to sleep for just a little while longer, not quite ready to get up. You felt heavy and tired, thoroughly exhausted from how late you'd stayed up and how active you'd been throughout the long night hours, eyes refusing to open even as the light on your face became harder and harder to ignore. The breeze was felt only on your cheeks, the rest of your body practically cocooned by the thick blanket you'd fallen asleep under, and you tried to pretend you couldn't feel it either. Nature itself appeared keen to make you rise and shine, but you wordlessly bid it to back off, giving in to your own unwanted wakefulness by the press of a gentle kiss touching your brow.

When your eyes opened, the first sight your bleary gaze spied was Namjoon, human again and smiling down at you, dimples deep in his cheeks. He looked as if he'd been wide awake for hours, not a hint of sleepiness touching the happiness you saw in his brown eyes, and he kissed you again as soon as he saw that you were finally conscious.

“Morning, baby.”

“Morning,” you greeted him back, voice rough and croaky with tiredness.

You moved to stretch but found your arms fairly well pinned to your sides by the blanket, growing awareness helping you to realize that you weren't even on the ground. Namjoon held you cradled in his arms, the clearing you'd fallen asleep in no longer providing a backdrop to your nearness. Instead, several paces behind him, you saw the cabin, not a single light on to suggest that the other boys had returned just yet. Unless, of course, they'd all fallen asleep in their beds as soon as they'd come back. You weren't sure how you'd managed to sleep through Namjoon carrying you all the way back to the house, deciding to blame your deep rest on just how much several rounds of intense werewolf sex could take out of you. A little achy and terribly fatigued, you weren't even sure how well you'd do to stand up, but you knew you needed to try, shuffling uncomfortably within the blanket.

“How long have we been back?”

“Not very long,” Namjoon told you as he slowly set you down, unraveling you as you used his shoulders to stay steady. “I wanted to take you straight to bed, but there was something I wanted to do first. It's already such a pretty morning that it felt too nice to wait and let this view go to waste.”

You let go of Namjoon as he cast the blanket aside, smiling for a moment as you caught a glimpse of the marks on his shoulder, close to healed already. Your own didn't feel so sore, not like you anticipated that they might, and you had to wonder if his blood meeting your own would allow them to mend faster, turning more quickly into the permanent brand that would symbolize your union with him. Happiness helped you forget how tired you were, made you feel not even the smallest stitch of concern for the fact that you were standing there out in the open with him, both completely nude. With the boys away or asleep, you were mostly alone anyway, free to turn towards the wide lake to take in the gorgeous view Namjoon had spoken of, watching the sunlight cast rays of brilliant gold across the tops of the mountains further away. The green of the trees was not the dominant color in the daytime, fall leaves creating a pattern of patches where red and orange signified the seasonal shift. You hoped to come back here again when the entire forest was painted with those warm tones.

Namjoon cleared his throat, needing you to look at him, and you gave him your attention readily, smiling even with the question in your eyes. You hadn't noticed until that moment, when he held up his hand, that he'd been clutching a tiny box in his grasp, gaze lingering on it in confusion until it clicked with you just what type of box it seemed to be.

“You know you never fail to amaze me, YN. I never would have thought that you were thinking of becoming my mate or that you wanted that, but you showed up last night and you made me so happy. You accepted me, let me know that no matter how different we are you love me and want to be with me. It meant the world to me that you wanted to make things official between us in a way that is so important to the wolf side of me, but for the longest time, I've wanted to do the same thing in a way that I know is important to you as a human.”

He lowered himself down, kneeling before you as he opened the box, and although the ring was beautiful, diamond faintly glinting in the growing sunlight, you could only look at it for a moment. Namjoon's face, his adoring smile, was a sight more breathtaking than the surprise he'd prepared, though both took your breath away.

“You're my mate and the love of my life and it would mean everything to me if you'd be my wife someday too. Will you marry me?”

There was only one answer you could feel in your heart and it poured out of you along with the tears pooling in your eyes, the word 'yes' matched with kiss after kiss as you fell into Namjoon's waiting arms.

He slipped the engagement ring smoothly onto your finger and you knew you'd wear it every day for the rest of your life, another mark like the one on your shoulder which signified to the world that you were loved and in love.

And you always would be.