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It was their last quarter of school, and the class was starting to feel anxious about their graduation. The feeling of countdown was upon them, and every minute seemed to count. So, it was not unusual for the sweethearts in the student body to sit together on the lawn behind the school and simply enjoy each other’s company.
Michael Harrison, despite being a convicted bachelor, was also regularly seen sitting on the grass, mostly alone. He usually just sat there for the entirety of his lunch break, just watching, trying to burn the image on his heart.
He watched as Amanda Rosenberg sat in-between Aiden Zhao’s legs as the two of them shared a book about something he could not be bothered to learn under a tree. Occasionally, the prodigy musician would dip his head to kiss the cheerleader’s cheek before going back to reading the book.
Every time it happened; Michael felt his heart break just a little more.
A cheerleader and a band nerd. Who would have thought? He would feel disgusted with himself for thinking that a few years before, but he could not help himself but to think that she would make a better match with him, a football player, rather than Aidan.
He has been in love with her since last year, though he has some difficulty in pinpointing the exact moment those feelings developed. He did not know who she was when she opened the door to their homeroom the first day of classes the year before, but he certainly did recognize the surname when the teacher roll-called them, just like the entire classroom did.
His first instinct was to pull away. The Rosenberg name was nothing but trouble, and he did not want to be caught up in the middle. However, she seemed to take a shine on him after Brian’s party. She insisted on him, and he could not shake her off.
Eventually, he took a shine to her. She seemed so unfailingly nice, and no amount of Koh’s warnings, of how it was all a front, of how it was with Edward the year before, could have prevented him from lowering his defences.
Michael only realized he was in too deep on that fateful afternoon, when he joined the football team after an unpleasantly candid heart-to-heart with Amanda. The entire time, he could not take his eyes off her, his treacherous mind thinking whether she was happy with him now, if she was satisfied. The way her entire face would light up when she smiled approvingly at him made his heart flutter and he didn’t even realize it until Emma, out of all people, had pointed it out.
After that he seemed to see she everywhere, not that he minded it, but he just found it odd. It was if she was following him, and the idea filled him with excitement. He wanted to get to know her better, and was glad she did, him too.
His friends noticed his change in behaviour. Everyone did. He stopped flirting with every girl who passed by, stopped sending flirtatious smiles and winks to anyone whose stares would linger a little longer than needed but no one could figure out why.
Though this managed to get the entire school’s attention, it just barely caught hers. Perhaps she did not know his past record, perhaps she did not care either way.
“Someone’s looking happy this morning.” She would tell him when he started walking towards her with the biggest smile she has ever seen.
He never told Amanda, but his happiness in getting off bed early and come to school was because of her. Michael did not know why he did not just tell her, though, because if he had, maybe, just maybe, it would be him in Aiden’s place right now.
Soon, not long before the homecoming dance, she began to drift away, to spend less and less time with him at the rejects’ table, and more time with the band nerds at theirs. She began reaching for Aiden after school, and he began attending their training sessions.
Then, all the winds were taken away from his sails and he fell into a depression, even if he happened to hide it very well. It did not take long before Amanda and Aiden were official, but it did not surprise him.
Michael, then, drowned his sorrows in Maria, who was more than willing to let him do so, but he knew that was not her business. It was mutually beneficial, he gets to distract himself with her demands and she gets someone who does her bidding and lets her pretend to be “normal” and “perfect”, so he did not care. However, it fizzled out way too soon because of that.
Now, he spends his days longing and watching them together, hoping that the shock therapy would make him snap out of it.
“You alright, dude?” Morgan asked him, catching his attention as he had gotten lost in thought again.
“Yeah, I’m alright.” Michael nodded before his eyes landed back on her. The book Aiden was previously reading to she was on the ground as she cupped both his cheeks to kiss him with his hands resting on her waist.
Michael felt his heart ache, as if someone was grabbing it and not letting go. He felt like he was suffocating.
“Are you sure?” Koh piped into the conversation, eyes flicking from Michael to Amanda in the distance, slightly worried.
He had to force himself to look away from the two of them.
It was his fault, after all, for not being straightforward and just asking her out when he had the chance. Maybe then it would have been him she was with.
Though all he wanted was for her to be happy, he could not seem to get the feeling inside his heart that yearned for her to give up.
“Yeah, it’s fine, just thinking about how things could have turned out different with someone.”