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"3, 2, 1, begin!" one of the staff members announced loudly, giving them the go-ahead to start talking after setting up the camera and everything necessary to get the Vlive running smoothly. They were all exhausted after a night of crying their eyes out over the best news they could've ever imagined receiving. Debuting at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 charts had always been an unreachable dream for them. Even with the ever-increasing popularity, they had never thought they'd get to see their name on the top, America being America, a land not exactly friendly for foreign singers. Although they were aware they had fans all over the continent, the media, music industry, and radio stations in the US had never welcomed them with very open arms. Things change, they supposed.
Last night had been a rollercoaster of overwhelming emotions for everyone. Jeongguk's birthday, staying up late for the results and then breaking down in happiness, those taking an enormous toll on their already tired minds from hours of hard dance practice and recording the new album beforehand.
Taehyung could never forget the moment they found out about being number 1 on Billboard. The state of shock had seemed like it would never leave him, his eyes wide and unbelieving, his mind still processing while Jimin burst out crying and Yoongi, unlike himself, jumped up and down driven by newly-found energy, tears streaming down his face. Getting Billboard's first spot had always been his goal, an achievement he worked hard for, just like the rest of them. Taehyung remembered clutching Jeongguk's hand in his lap, his knuckles turning white from the force of his grip, so tight that he was sure he'd left some marks on the poor guy's delicate hand.
Taehyung looks over at Jeongguk, an incredulous expression on his face, only to find out the younger one was already staring at him, a bright smile placing his white bunny teeth on display, tears tumbling down his cheeks, his eyes puffy and red.
"We did it!" he says softly, his voice barely above a whisper and Taehyung can just nod, his mouth dry and throat constricted. Even if he could talk, there are no words to describe his exact feelings, the knowledge the unattainable had been attained, and by whom? A boy band from Korea with only dreams to push them forward, with stars in their eyes and a hard-working determination to achieve something in this life. A boy band that ended up being so much more for a lot of people. Their motivation, their purpose, the reason for their happiness. And these seven guys whose eyes glisten with tears right now, they are his family.
"I-" even Namjoon, the responsible, always-knows-what-to-say man, even he seems at a loss for words. His eyes brim with tears too, and he opens his arms, looking them in the eyes with the utmost affection. They share a look, thousand of memories of endless nights practicing, struggling to write songs in their studio, their rough start with BigHit, the tight space they had to share as trainees, the suffering, the begging people to come at their concerts before debut, the growing friendship and bonding, everything passing between them at that moment.
And everything had been worth it.
They all gather close and wound their arms around each other, sharing their happiness like they shared their pain, their insecurities, their doubts, and worries. At that moment, Taehyung knows nothing changed because they are the same tight-knit group that they began as. Only now, they weren't alone. They had ARMY. ARMY who fought for them, who supported them when no one else did. Without them, Taehyung knows they wouldn't be here, the Billboard Hot 100 list opened up in front of them, their name at the top. They are grateful and humbled to have such fans, to know they're always there when they need them. Taehyung whishes he could give all of them a hug and thank them and tell them he loves every single one of them.
"I love you, guys, I just-" Hobi chokes on his tears, but his smile doesn't dim in its intensity, "I just love you so much."
Taehyung's lips tremble and his arms tighten around Jeongguk on his right and Jin on his left.
They don't respond, emotions still running high, the feeling that it's not real still present, but Taehyung guesses Hobi knows they love him too. How could they not, after all? They've been through so much together and to share this moment with these six people who have become the most important to him is something he'd never trade for the world. As long as they have each other, Taehyung knows they'll continue being strong, working hard, and thank ARMY by being the best.
Jin clears his throat to get their attention, "Let's thank ARMY. They deserve the title even more than us. This is their achievement too."
And they couldn't agree more.
Taehyung shook his head to clear it, pulling himself out of his thought to focus on what was happening in front of him. The live started with them thanking their fans for all their love and support and he couldn't suppress an eye-crinkling smile under his mask at the thought of them watching, sharing their enjoyment and enthusiasm from every corner of the world. He felt lucky, an emotion doubled ten-times in the past 24 hours by the unfolding of this event.
After congratulations were exchanged, then it came to Jeongguk's birthday surprise. It wasn't exactly a surprise per se, a simple cake bought by Jimin that morning from their favorite pastry because they had been too waired to think of something more extravagant, but that was okay given the fact they had celebrated his birthday last night, the seven of them, drinking and laughing and having a good time. Presents were exchanged, Jeongguk's smile never even wavering, omnipresent on his beautiful, flushed face.
"Happy birthday, Jeongguk-ah!" Taehyung shouted brightly and everyone joined, the comments section flooding with the same words on the tablet sitting on the maknae's lap.
"Why don't you make a wish?" Namjoon inquired, encouraging him to blow out the candles.
Taehyung huffed, "He doesn't need to make a wish, it already came true," he added, rolling his eyes, a corner of his mouth lifting in a secret-filled smirk. Namjoon threw him an annoyed look, warning him with his eyes to behave and not get himself in trouble. Even that couldn't make Taehyung stop biting his bottom lip conspirational under his mask, his gaze never leaving Jeongguk who only laughed and probably blushed a little, and he was certain the younger knew exactly what Taehyung meant by that comment.
Of course, everyone would think he was talking about Billboard #1, but actually, that wasn't the case. Whenever his gaze would fall on Jeongguk - and that was once every two seconds - he couldn't help but remember how they had celebrated his 23rd birthday last night. In private.
When their tears dry up, the tiredness catching up with them, they are forced to separate for the night and go get some sleep even though it was almost 5 a.m. Namjoon, a little buzzed from the soju they had, gets up from the floor and prompts the others to follow his example if they don't want to look like a zombie for the rest of the day. They laugh, adrenaline still in their system, and bid their goodnight, Jimin following Yoongi to his room, who somehow was still silently crying, overwhelmed by the news, probably to comfort him since he had always been the one Yoongi let in the easiest.
Taehyung smiles, staring after them and observing Jimin's hand on Yoongi's waist guiding him forward. He shares a look with Jeongguk, raising his brow and the other boy just shakes his head, just as confused as him, before sliding his hand in his, intertwining their fingers. "Go to sleep, boys," Jin tells them, cleaning a little of their mess so their managers wouldn't have a fit in the morning. "And I mean sleep!" he adds, pointedly staring at them, his hands on his hips.
Once inside the room, Taehyung does the thing he's been wanting to do the whole night, and that is to adore Jeongguk in the only way he's able to. Gently, he pushes his back against the door and starts peppering kisses all over his face. Jeongguk giggles, his arms automatically going up to grasp at his shoulders just to hold on to him, to have a physical confirmation of his presence. Taehyung remembers how Jeongguk always used to say he's his safe place, and right now he feels it first-hand. Jeongguk blushes, his body trapped between Taehyung's and the door, the older's hands on either side of his head, caging him in.
"Hyung, it tickles," Jeongguk half-complains, but makes no move to push him away. Taehyung only smiles wider.
"What? Can't I shower my boyfriend with affection on his birthday?" he asks, immediately resuming his actions. He places kisses on his forehead, on his cheeks, on the corner of his mouth, even on his jaw, before landing the last one on his plump, pink lips that he'll never get tired of kissing. Jeongguk responds enthusiastically, wounding his arms around his neck and pressing his body even closer to him. Jeongguk's lips taste just as delicious as always and Taehyung can't help the moan that slips out, wanting to just devour this boy entirely.
Their lips slide against each other unrushed, and Taehyung pokes at Jeongguk's lips with his tongue to get him to open up, the younger granting him entrance without further prodding. Taehyung slips his hands under Jeongguk's shirt, caressing his baby-soft skin with his palms, running them up and down his sides, and feeling his shivers. His tongue tangles with Jeongguk's and it's wet and messy and Taehyung doesn't want it to end. Unfortunately, it does when they have to separate to breathe. Separate. Taehyung doesn't like this word, he hates it actually. Too many bad memories surrounding it.
Jeongguk rests his forehead against his and Taehyung breaths him in. This boy that came into his life and gave it meaning and purpose, this boy that he watched grow up into a beautiful young man, this boy that he would give up everything for, that he's gonna love until the end of his days. He looks in his chocolate-colored eyes and loses himself in them, in the feelings they evoke in him and he knows without a sliver of a doubt he wants to spend the rest of his life with him. His other half, his baby, his protege, his heart and soul. No one could even come close.
That's exactly the thing. Not even getting number #1 on Billboard could ever compete with having Jeongguk by his side, as his boyfriend. Without the love of his life, everything would be meaningless. Everything falls short next to the shine in Jeongguk's eyes, the crinkles of his eyes when he laughs, the way he sounds when they make love, the bright smile when he achieves something he's set his mind to.
"What is it?" Jeongguk asks concerned, caressing his cheeks when he's been spacing out for a few minutes.
Taehyung draws back, suddenly out of breath, his heart pounding like crazy in his chest. His hands damp, he wipes them on his pants and he knows he's gonna do it. Tonight. He can't wait anymore. Not when he has the most amazing man in the world loving him back by some miracle.
Jeongguk blew into the candles, the clapping startling Taehyung out of his memories, and he joins in the celebrations, moisture gathering at the corner of his eyes. It seemed only a while ago that Jeongguk was a 14-year-old struggling to make his dreams come true, moving away from home at such a young age to help his family, shy and inexperienced. The moment Taehyung's gaze fell on him that day they first met, he felt it, that one-in-a-million connexion people love to talk about. He sensed it first-hand and he knew right that second that he would end up being important for him, that he'd change his life, that he'll have such power over him and he couldn't do a thing to stop it.
Really, the fall for Jeongguk was more like letting himself go and praying the other boy wouldn't allow him to hit the ground.
An intense urge took hold of him to just touch him, to have him in his arms, right now, regardless of the cameras and millions of people watching. His breathing sped up and that separation anxiety that he knew so well made itself at home in his chest again. All those days he had been forced to stay away from the one he loved, they all came back to him in a wave so powerful he feared if he didn't get his hands on Jeongguk now, he would never get the change again, that they'll rip him away from his hands and never return him to him again.
So he did the only thing his anxious mind would allow him. He grabbed Jeongguk's shoulders and maneuvered him to gently lay with his head on his chest, a mirror image of Jeongguk's actions back at the GDA's. He wrapped his arms around him and he felt Jeongguk relax onto him, easing some of Taehyung's worries and offering the reassurance that his baby was there, in his arms, protected from harm, because Taehyung wouldn't let anything bad happen to him.
When he had to get back up to show Namjoon something on the tablet, Taehyung almost growled out loud but he suppressed it, content to just pull him almost in his lap once again the moment he was done. He sensed Jeongguk's giggle and Taehyung nuzzled his nose into his newly black-permed hair, full-on cuddling despite the judging look of the staff behind cameras. Taehyung couldn't care less though, deciding to just ignore them. He placed his warm hand on Jeongguk's slim waist out of view from the camera and whispered lowly, "Where you going? You can't get away from me," he told him, kissing his ear softly.
Jeongguk bit his lip to not bring even more attention to them, contenting himself with relaxing even more into his boyfriend's chest. Namjoon was talking and Taehyung took the opportunity to whisper one more thing in Jeongguk's ear. "I love you," he was almost positive that no one else heard, but he couldn't be too sure. No matter what, the risk was worth it to let him know. Jeongguk couldn't really respond verbally, so he did the next best thing. He raised his hand and did the I-love-you/I-purple-you sign to the camera right in Taehyung's face and the older understood him just perfectly.
They communicated better without words anyway.
He tightened his arms around his lover, letting him know he's got the message. Then his gaze fell on Jeongguk's slender finger and the piece of jewelry shining unnoticeable by the others. Something so little, holding so much meaning. If only they knew.
"I think it's time for your present," Taehyung says, his voice cracking slightly.
Jeongguk chuckles, "Present? Tae, I thought we talked about this, you don't need to buy me anything. You are enough of a present," he adds, blushing and worrying his bottom lips between his teeth, suddenly nervous.
Taehyung ignores him, busy trying - and failing - to not freak out and blow this. He wanted to do this differently, to arrange something romantic and special, just for the two of them, but he guesses, no time like the present. The only thing he knows is he can't spend any more minute without making this boy his in the most official of ways.
He rummages through his bedside drawer until he finds the carefully hidden little purple box that he looked for two weeks because he couldn't find it anywhere and he wanted this one specifically. The searches paid off in the end, Taehyung now holding it in his hands like it was made of glass. He takes a deep breath to calm himself down, aware of Jeongguk's curious gaze directed at him, and then stands up on wobbly legs. He's running on pure adrenaline right now. It's the most important moment of his life, he can't fuck it up.
Before he faints from the overwhelming emotions racking his body, he turns to face Jeongguk and slowly lowers himself in one knee, raising his head to look straight in Jeongguk's wide-open eyes. Taehyung hears him letting out a gasp, his hands flying immediately to cover his mouth that was hanging open in astonishment, and he fights to not throw himself at him right not, tackle him to the ground and have his wicked way with him.
"T-Tae..." his words die down in his throat while tears gather in his eyes, spilling over freely, Jeongguk paying no mind to them, his entire focus on the boy on his knees in the front of him.
"Jeonggukie, baby," Taehyung begins, his voice wavering a little, "do you remember when we first met? How a shy kid and a weird boy formed the most unlikely of friendships? I don't think I ever told you how much that first meeting affected me in the best way. My eyes met yours and I felt everything come into place, the puzzle finally complete. I never believed in destiny, but Ggukie, I swear I saw ours reflected in your face that day. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Not Billboard, not fame, not this career, but you, Ggukie. I love you more than I could've ever imagined loving someone. When I look you in your eyes I feel like the luckiest man alive. I can't even fathom losing you."
He opens the box softly, a platinum engagement ring encrusted with their initials - k.th+j.jk - shining clearly there, brighter than any diamond.
Jeongguk's full-on crying now, sniffling and sobbing quietly, his gaze firmly fixated on the ring. "I wanna grow old with you. I want to look into your eyes for the rest of my life, love. I wanna make you mine. I know the world is against us, that we need to hide, but one day, we won't have to, and I wanna you to know that I'd wait for forever if it means at the end of the road I can call you my husband. So," Taehyung continues, his hands shaking so bad he's afraid he'll drop the velvet box, "will you do me the honor and marry me?"
That seems to be the snapping point, because Jeongguk lets out a loud sob, throwing himself at Taehyung, on his knees, his arms going around his neck and holding tightly on him, their bodies colliding with force, his tears rolling down his shirt and wetting it, although Taehyung couldn't care less, not when Jeongguk's touching him so lovingly. He wraps one of his hands around Jeongguk's middle and closes his eyes, placing his chin on his shoulder.
They stay like that for a couple of moments, then Jeongguk draws back, his smile rivaling the sun in its intensity, and he firmly nods once, grasping Taehyung's face in his palms. "Yes, Tae, yes, a million times yes. I love you, I love you, I love you, you're everything I could've ever wanted," he says, slamming his lips onto Taehyung's, pouring into the kiss all the desperation and love he feels for this one boy who owns him completely, body and soul. They paw at each other's back, kissing passionately for a while before Jeongguk looks down, staring fondly at the purple box. "Put it on?" he asks shyly and Taehyung can only comply, happiness embedding itself in every cell of his body.
He slides the ring on Jeongguk's finger and they both stare at it sweetly, pride squeezing at Taehyung's chest. It's proof of their love, proof of their relationship, and their connection. Taehyung can't think of anything that can even come close to this feeling of completeness he feels while gazing at his ring on the hand of the man he loves, the only one worthy enough to wear it. Jeongguk touches it reverently, his eyes sparkling, "This is the best present I've ever received. I love you so much, Taehyung. You're my everything and - I wish I could show you somehow."
"You show me every day, Ggukie. I don't need you to prove it to me, cause I already know, I only need you."
"And you have me," he assures. "Completely. My fiance," the words rolled so easily off Jeongguk's tongue. Like they were meant to be said and only heard by Taehyung.
That night, despite Jin's comment, they made love, slow, unhurried, proving to each other just how much they love one another through gentle touches, wet kisses, and whispered words of love and devotion. Taehyung's future husband looked angelic all spread out on the white sheets, panting, writhing, and begging for him and his touch. Taehyung gave it all to him, gave him everything he wanted, gave himself over to him, not caring what Jeongguk would do with all the power he has over him. Why? Because even if the earth crumbles, he trusts Jeongguk to be there at his side, as steady as ever, to get him through it all.
I thought that I would die of thirst
Waiting for my soulmate
But we promised each other
That we would see each other again, long ago
Before we were born
Maybe, maybe, the sunset
Is just the sunrise seen from behind (seen from behind)
Maybe, maybe, in another life we will find each other again
And we will learn to be happy,
Admiring two sunrises a day
Only the soul has a language
I'm looking for a purpose in my life,
For a shelter in your eyes
Lost in memories
In which I still haven't been in
After stating how grateful and thankful they are for everyone's support, but before the live ended, Taehyung gave in to his urges and caught Jeongguk's cheeks in his hands, the other boy looking too adorable for him to handle, and squished them in his palms while also shouting, "I LOVE YOU!" for the whole world to hear. He didn't care how they interpreted it, didn't care what people said about them. Let them talk. The truth the same as ever: it wouldn't stop him loving Jeongguk, in private, their relationship not for the cameras, not for the world to prod at.
Gathering their things to head out afterward, Taehyung threw a glance at the wall on which their managers hung up the tableau containing the picture of their achievement and smiled a little to himself. Then his gaze fell to his and Jeongguk's intertwined fingers, the ring on Jeongguk's finger brushing his skin, remind him of everything he cherished in this world.