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March 20th, 2020
A week ago, Keith and Lance made the consecutive decision to participate in a Deserted Island Getaway package for some much needed stress relief.
One week later and Keith was reconsidering the sanity of that decision.
He stared in disbelief at the small creatures sitting on the plane seats in front of him. Slowly, he leaned over to Lance- who had gotten the window seat after winning a small game of rock paper scissors and was completely ignoring the view and trying to take a nap, like an asshole- and whispered “I thought those things were supposed to be the mascots?”
Lance didn’t bother lifting his mask, a complimentary one with “DAL” printed on it multiple times as well as a Dodo bird, and responded, “Uh-huh.”
Keith glared at him, hoping the intensity of his stare penetrated the mask, “Why are you being so calm about this? There are little raccoon men-”
“Tanuki’s, Keith.”
“-what the fuck ever. The point is, There are little tanuki men taking us on a plane to a deserted island. Which is being flown by a Dodo bird- who should be extinct by the way- and I’m pretty sure I saw a fucking bear board the plane with us.”
The other man hummed, shifting a little in his seat to get more comfortable. He has a matching Dodo Airlines neck pillow and Keith hates it here. “Your point?”
Keith gathers all the strength inside him at that very moment and resits strangling Lance with his Dodo merch, “My point is do you not see how this might be a little crazy?!”
Lance sighs, like Keith’s questions are a great burden on him, and finally raises his eye mask to look him directly in the eye, “I haven’t slept throughout this entire week. If you think a goddamn bipedal tanuki is the worst thing I’ve seen at this point, think again.”
He decides against answering and let’s Lance adjust the mask back over his eyes before promptly passing out. Keith stews in his anger knowing damn well he could have done that from the aisle seat.
...
Keith and Lance were a combined $100,000 in debt and slightly regretting their decision to move to a deserted Island.
Well… it wasn’t entirely deserted now.
As it turns out, not only did a bear board the plane, but a squirrel did too. Her name is Hazel, and if you ignore her tendency to say “ uni-wow ” a bit too much she kind of reminds him of a certain other spunky person back home.
Teddy- the bear- won’t shut up about his muscles. Lance says he reminds him of Hunk and Keith hates him for it because now he can’t unsee it.
On top of that, apparently this “getaway package” was another way of saying “whoops you live here now no take backs!”
Lance, in spite of all this, is enjoying himself… somehow.
“KEITH! LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!” Lance shouts at him from across their makeshift dirt plaza. He then proceeds to happily groove from side to side as flowers suddenly appear and float around his head.
“What the fuck,” Keith says, earning a scandalized look from one of the tanuki’s.
March 21st, 2020
Today, Keith got stung by wasps no less than 3 times.
“Do we need trees, Lance? Do we really?” he asks as Lance makes medicine out of the hives he collected before he abandoned Keith to deal with the wasps.
Lance is amused by this because he is a bastard who shook those trees on purpose, “Yes, Keith. We need trees because they supply the oxygen needed for us to breathe.”
Keith frowns and gestures towards the medicine, “How did you even learn to make that?”
“Oh! Hazel taught me how to make it after seeing your ugly ass face.”
I hate it here, Keith thinks once again.
April 12th, 2020
It’s been a month on the Island when the Bunny shows up.
Lance oogles the pretty trees while Keith glares at the suspicious appearance of “Zipper T Bunny”.
“Ever notice how when we get far enough away from him he sighs and starts walking normally?” Keith asks.
The other man doesn’t respond because he’s wholly invested in catching a floating cherry blossom petal.
Keith watches as Lance swings, misses, and then proceeds to kick a nearby tree in frustration.
An egg drops from the tree.
What the fuck.
Later that night Keith creates a conspiracy board in his room. When Lance finds out about it he threatens to throw it in the river.
Keith threatens to release his pet hermit crab and they are even.
May 3rd, 2020
Two months into living on the island and it rains. All the time.
The surrounding area of Lances house is covered in flowers. Lance does not care when he complains about it and instead shakes out his rainbow umbrella over Keith’s head, saying his Mullet makes him look like a wet dog.
Keith retaliates by releasing snails on his flowers. This backfires because the snails are not interested in the flowers but Lance is interested in them so he is now housing a family of snails alongside Coran the Crab.
The next day Isabelle tells Lance that his flowers are helping improve the image of the Island and gives it a two star rating. Lance gloats for the entirety of the week.
Oh it is so fucking on.
May 19th, 2020
One day, a small purple hedgehog with soft blue eyeshadow walks into the plaza. When she spots them, she introduces herself as Label, the third Able sister.
“Why hello. I’m Label… the fashion designer. I’m not sure if you’ve heard of me…” she says.
Keith has not. Lance on the other hand…
“Oh my gosh! Yes! Sable and Mabel talk about you all the time!” he tells her, grinning earnestly.
Keith looks at him, incredulous, because Sable has not once spoken a word to him and he’s never spoken to her either. It was a mutual introversion agreement, he figured she would speak to him if she really wanted to and vice versa.
That’s… pretty much the same deal he has with the rest of the “villagers” on the island. But leave it to Lance to do more than enough chatting for the both of them.
“Oh! Well in that case… I was wondering if either of you could help me out with something?” she asks, cheeks flushing a bit. “See, I’ve just recently decided to become an independent designer, so I’ve been travelling all over to learn about different styles. That’s how I came to be here on Isla del Biceps! ”
Isla del Biceps… are you fucking kidding me.
Keith then remembers the day they arrived here on the island the resident debt collector, Tom Nook, told them about an orientation meeting that was happening during the evening right after they had finished gathering supplies for him. However, being so impossibly jet lagged, the two had ultimately decided against it and instead slept through the night.
I hate it here.
“So, do you think one of you could help me out with a little style exercise? It goes like this…” Label continued. “I’ll call out a specific fashion theme and then one of you has to change into an outfit that matches that theme. You’ll have to model it for me, of course. But I’ll give you a gift for your trouble.”
Lance wasted no time. “I’LL DO IT! Keith has about the same amount of fashion sense as a pair of Crocs.”
He scowled. Crocs were a perfectly respectable item of clothing, but he wouldn’t waste his time trying to convince Lance of that. “I have plenty of fashion sense, thank you.”
The other boy scoffed and turned to face him, “Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t think Khakis are formal.”
Keith did not say anything because that’s exactly what he thought.
Lance tsked and turned back towards Label, who was looking quite amused at their banter, “Your sexuality has betrayed you with the style of a straight boy, Keith. But don’t worry, the longer you spend with me, the better your closet will become.”
“No thanks,” he deadpanned before turning on his heel and walking back to his house, ignoring Lance’s dramatic squawk as he went.
I swear, he fits right in with the rest of the animals.
May 22nd, 2020
Later on in the week, Lance found Keith knee deep in river water trying to figure out how a bridge-kit worked.
“Can I get some help, please?” Keith asked, to which Lance replied by sitting cross legged on the river bank and leaning his chin on his hand.
“I dunno, Keith. You seem to be doing great, keep up the good work!” Lance replied with a smirk.
Jackass.
Keith then remembered the only way to get Lance to do any kind of hard labour was to kindly threaten him. So, he began menacingly wading over towards his position on the riverbank, fully prepared to pull the other boy in.
Lance seemed to catch on to this plot fairly quickly as he shrieked and jumped up. “I JUST REMEMBERED I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!” he yelled before running away from Keith.
Hm. That kind of backfired.
Whatever. Back to doing this myself I guess.
Half an hour of labour went by as Keith painstakingly set up the bridge-kit, hammering stakes into the muddy river floor where he would later string rope around to mark off the bridge area for tomorrow.
“Hey, Kiddo. What’s going on over here?” A deep voice rumbled. Keith looked up to see Apollo standing on the riverbank, looking puzzled.
Then again, that was his usual state. The elder eagle had yet to completely remember where his house was.
“Oh, uh, just marking down where the new bridge is gonna go,” Keith answered, wading back over to the bank to retrieve his mallet.
Apollo frowned, “By yourself?”
Keith scoffed, “Well I thought Lance was gonna help me out earlier but apparently he’s got other things to do.”
The eagle huffed, “That’s odd, I saw him just a minute ago taking a nap in a hammock. Want me to go tell him you need help?”
His mind flashed with all the devious ways he could get revenge on Lance, “Nah, leave that to me. Thanks for asking though.”
He could practically see the elders feathers puff up a little, “ Pah , no problem, Kiddo. Good luck with the bridge.”
“Thanks, Shir- Apollo,” Keith said. Apollo gave him a nod and continued walking, leaving Keith to climb up onto the riverbank and set off for his lazy companion.
The resounding screech could be heard from every position on the island.
Suddenly, Keith doesn’t hate it here as much.
May 27th, 2020
Scratch that.
“KEITH! THERE ARE SCORPIONS ON THIS FREAKING ISLAND!” Lance yelped as he tossed himself into Keith’s arms, apparently running from said scorpion.
Keith made no effort to process this matter and instead immediately booked it in the other direction, Lance still safely cradled in his arms.
Lance looked over his shoulder and yelped again, “KEITH IT’S GAINING ON US!”
“Well MAYBE if I LOST some UNESSENTIAL WEIGHT I’d be able to RUN FASTER!” he sarcastically snipped back, putting more effort into running anyway. All that work catching bees and chopping trees wasn’t for nothing after all.
To his surprise, Lance remained silent from that point onward, only opening his mouth to warn the villagers they passed about the scorpion, which usually had them running in the opposite direction.
Usually.
“BOB WATCH OUT, THERE’S A SCORPION AFTER US!” he yelled.
Bob perked up and smiled, “For real? Epic.”
The two ran in distressed silence for a bit more before Keith finally reached his house and rushed them inside before locking the door behind him.
Safe at last, they sat against the wall, breathing heavily as the adrenaline eventually wore off.
Lance was the first to speak, “I vote we kick Bob off the Island.”
Keith seconded that opinion.
Neither mentioned the Bonding Moment™ part 2- Electric Boogaloo- for the rest of the night.
Of course, Keith mentioned it the next day, only to receive a star-shaped net to the face.
June 11th, 2020
Another month on the Island and Keith was getting a little tired of people yelling his name out of nowhere.
Like now, for example, as Lance slammed open his front door to scream “KEITH HOLY FUCK THERE’S A DEAD GUY ON THE BEACH!”
They later found out after some careful deliberation (read: poking the “dead guy” with a stick until he woke up) that the guy was not in fact dead, only stranded. Also, that he had broken his communicator and needed them to gather the parts that were scattered around the beach.
“I bet I can get more parts than you,” Keith bet.
“No you can’t!” Lance sneered.
He can.
Keith and Lance then watched this guy cram the communicator parts back into his apparently not water-logged phone in a way that would throw Pidge into a fit of rage and flawlessly send off a message to his crewmates so they could come pick him up.
They then proceeded to watch as Gulliver paced back and forth for hours until they were mysteriously knocked unconscious at one point during the night. When they woke up they found no sign of Gulliver, but instead the fucking Leaning Tower of Pisa crammed into their mailboxes.
What the fuck.
June 23rd, 2020
If Keith caught one more fucking Sea Bass (iT’s aT leAsT a C+!!1!) he was going to strangle Tom Nook with an itemized list of all the reasons he regrets moving to this stupid Island.
Sighing heavily, he puts away his fishing rod in a manner that reminds him a lot of their bayards and heads back into town to sell them all to the Twitch Streamer Beaver that was currently chilling in the river.
He wasn’t supposed to be there, apparently. But he seemed content when Keith questioned him earlier, so Keith let him be.
On his way there, however, he found his eyes drawn to the display window of the Able Sisters shop. Sitting there was a very familiar looking red uniform, nearly identical to his old one right down to the V shaped logo on the chest.
Holy shit I have to buy all of them.
So he did.
...
Later on, when Lance woke up at 12:45 in the afternoon, he was greeted by an excited Tia, who was wearing what looked to be a pink knockoff Paladin uniform.
“Good afternoon, Lonce!” she greeted, causing Lance to chuckle fondly at the nickname.
“Hey, Tia. What’s the latest?” he asked.
Tia smiled. “Look at what Keith gave me earlier today! It’s a Nobel Zap Suit. Isn’t it cute, teacup ?” she said, twirling around to show it off.
Lance smirked, “Is that what it’s called? Looks great!”
This made Tia blush, rubbing the back of her head as flowers floated around her, “Oh, thank you, Lonce. You know, I bet if you talk to Keith, he’ll give you one too, teacup .”
“Good Idea, anywhere I should start looking?” he asked.
Tia considered this for a moment, before she clapped her hands together as a lightbulb went off above her head.
Lance has just learned to accept these things for what they are instead of thinking about them too much.
“Oh! Last time I heard from him he said something about having a little chat with Tom Nook about the Sea Bass in the water. He told me he was worried that the overabundance of Sea Bass might-”
“HE’S DOING WHAT?! SORRY, TIA, I HAVE TO GO!” Lance shrieked before sprinting in the direction of Resident Services.
“Bye, Lonce! Nice chatting with you!” Tia called after him before going back to her day, oblivious to the chaos that was about to occur in the Resident Services building.
July 4th, 2020
It was the fourth of July and Keith was standing in front of Apollo’s house, gift in hand, ready to attend his birthday party.
Lance was there too of course, because he was the one who had told Keith about it in the first place.
He was also the one who made him buy a gift, and the one who told him to wrap it, which ended up being the first time Keith had noticed that they even sold wrapping paper at Nook’s Cranny.
Finally, he’d been the one to drag him over to Apollo’s house and force him to attend this birthday party.
Not that Keith doesn’t like Apollo, he does. Really, he’s one of the most tolerable villagers on the Island, in his opinion. Even his catchphrase doesn’t sound too out of place.
(He also reminds Keith very much of Shiro, which the man himself finds hilarious. Now he is required to write letters to all of his friends comparing their actions to the ones of their “corresponding” villagers. Keith didn’t even know they had a working mail system, he’d assumed the cards in the airport were for decoration. Lance smacked him with another net for that.)
It’s just that… attending the birthday party of some bipedal elderly eagle character reminds him of a child hosting tea parties with their stuffed animals.
Not that Keith ever did that.
Anyway…
Lance knocked on the door twice before just letting himself and Keith inside because nobody cared about privacy around here. Quite honestly, with his birthday being on the fourth of July and him being an eagle, Keith expected the inside to be decked out in American flags and such.
To his relief, that was not the case.
To his surprise, Bob was here too.
Both of them were dancing, of course.
Keith went up to Apollo as Lance started chatting with Bob. The eagle stopped dancing and regarded Keith with a kind smile when he saw him approaching.
“Keith! What a surprise, thanks for showing up to my party, Kiddo,” he said, which made Keith’s initial nerves melt away.
“Uh, no problem? Happy birthday, I got you this,” he replied, awkwardly pushing his gift into Apollo’s chest.
Thankfully, the eagle seemed to ignore his lack of social skills and accepted the gift gratefully, “For me? Pah , that’s really nice of you. I’ll open it now if that’s okay.”
Keith nodded and Apollo painstakingly unwrapped the gift, revealing a pair of aviator sunglasses. He chuckled boisterously, “ Aviator shades? Shucks, I’ve gotta try these on right now!”
With a little spin, he put the shades on, turning back to Keith with a pleased expression, “I like ‘em a lot, Kiddo, thanks!”
“‘Course,” Keith replied, secretly glad that Lance had forced him to show up to this party, especially since he was so against it in the beginning.
Not that he’s ever going to admit that.
“Happy birthday, Apollo! I made this for you, I hope you like it!” Lance interrupted suddenly, thrusting his silver wrapped gift towards Apollo with an unmatched amount of enthusiasm. Keith decided to step out of the conversation, allowing Lance to be the center of attention, and made his way over to Bob who was grooving while looking out the window.
Curious, Keith spoke up, “What’cha looking for, Bob?”
Bob hardly startled at the interruption, turning a lazy smile to Keith, “Hey, bud! Just checking to see if my package arrived, they promised same day delivery but it’s been, like, 15 minutes and it’s still not here.”
He frowned, “Same day delivery can take hours, what are you waiting for that’s so important anyway?”
The purple cat smiled innocently, “Apollo’s gift, pthhpth .”
Keith choked on his spit, “You don’t have it already?!”
Bob rolled his eyes, “Don’t give me that look, Keithers, I know very well that you just bought Apollo his gift today, too.”
Flushing, Keith sputtered, “At least I actually brought one to the party! Are you even going to wrap yours?”
“Huh? What do you mean by wrapping it?” Bob asked, genuinely confused. A question mark popped up above his head and everything.
Keith wants to leave.
Right at that moment, Lance slides up to him with a happy grin, “Keith, we’re leaving!”
He resists the urge to sigh in relief as they both say their goodbyes to the birthday… eagle before heading back outside.
They were quiet for a moment before, “Did Bob tell you he-”
“Ordered his gift 15 minutes ago? Yeah.”
Silence fell in between them again before Lance spoke once more, “Yaknow, yesterday he told me he wasn’t allowed on boats anymore because he gets too excited and crashes them.”
Keith winced, looking up and locking gazes with Lance, “I don’t think we can let him go, I’m not entirely sure he’d survive more than 2 days in the wild on his own.”
Lance nodded solemnly before the two of them began walking back to their houses.
Inside, meanwhile, a certain someone had heard their conversation and was laughing evilly. Apollo ignored it because he was afraid of what would happen if he didn’t. Also because he was rearranging his pillows to show off the custom one he’d received from Lance as a gift.
July 16th, 2020
He’d nearly forgotten to mention something else about July.
No, not Lance's birthday.
The cicadas.
They were everywhere .
And they were pissing him the fuck off.
While Keith and Lance were out on their combined shopping journey (Keith supervising Lance and Lance making sure Keith didn’t make any poor or impulsive home decor decisions) he found the perfect solution to deal with them.
An axe.
They didn’t really need those trees anyway, right?
“Yes we do, Keith,” Lance called from the opposite end of the shop. Which wasn’t that far away, given the shop's name was called “Nook’s Cranny” after all.
Keith cursed under his breath, earning another scandalized look from… look it was either Timmy or Tommy. Far as he was concerned there was no difference.
“But the cicadas , Lance. They’re giving me daily migraines,” he whined.
Lance leveled him with a look and walked over, only to grab a bag of medicine from the cabinet and place it in Keith’s hands, “There, no more migraines.”
He growled but bought the damn medicine anyway because he honestly couldn’t be assed to make it himself.
July 18th, 2020
Exactly two days later and Keith didn’t even get to use the medicine on himself because somehow , Teddy had gotten sick.
Lance was busy, of course (and he knew that this wasn’t an excuse this time because Lance would never pass up the opportunity to talk to one of the villagers, or to help someone out… selfless bastard) so that left Keith with the task.
He knocked softly before entering, finding Teddy sitting upright on his bed, surrounded by tissues and a half empty glass of water.
Keith thought he looked miserable, the poor guy probably felt it too.
Nonetheless, he perked up when Keith came in, “Hey, buddy! What- sniff- brings you here?”
“Medicine delivery,” he responded, holding out the packet for Teddy to take.
“Oh, man, for real? Thanks, grooof !” Teddy cheered, before grabbing the medicine and downing it with the glass of water.
Now, Keith knew how good this medicine was for healing wasp stings, but he did not expect Teddy to hop out of bed, give him a bone crushing hug, and then start exercising right then and there.
“I feel great, grooof ! That medicine really fixed me up, I feel like I could do a thousand pushups right now!” Teddy said, before proceeding to drop down and do just that.
“...Alright then. Glad you’re feeling better,” Keith mumbled, turning to leave. Teddy didn’t even break formation as he waved goodbye mid pushup.
“Thanks again, Keith! Be careful, what I had could be going around!” the jock warned before going back to his pushups.
He nodded and left the house, closing the door behind him.
On his way home, he realized his cheeks were aching a little from smiling.
Damn, these villagers are really starting to grow on me, huh?
July 28th, 2020
The absolute last fucking thing Keith wanted on this goddamn Island was to be woken up at the unholy hour of 6:00 am via a glass of water to the face.
Shooting right up and sputtering in confusion, he was met with the face of the culprit; Hazel.
“Oh good, you’re awake, uni-wow. I thought that would take longer,” she squeaks.
It is too early for this bullshit.
“Why,” Keith whispers, still trying to cling to his semi-unconscious state. Hazel fixes that real quick by talking at a normal volume as if nothing is sacred.
“It’s Lance’s birthday, duh. Don’t tell me you forgot?” she states, as if Keith could forget about the only bitch on this entire damn Island that he’s certain is not an illusion of the matrix on shrooms.
Rubbing his eye to erase the fatigue he still felt, he answered, “No, I didn’t forget. He lives next door to me and hasn’t left me alone about it for the entire week. Not to mention I practically lived with him for many years before that.”
“Oh, ok. I didn’t ask,” Hazel smiles.
Keith blinks, trying to process that statement and before he’s about to chew this bitch out she grabs his arm and tries her very hardest to pull him out of bed. Honestly, she probably would have succeeded had he not been way bigger than her and a seasoned war veteran.
Maybe not seasoned. He hardly knew what he was doing out there.
Maybe it’s more like… a salt and peppered war veteran. The experience is there, there’s just not a whole lot of sense either.
Anyway.
“Get up, loser, we’re going to Teddy’s house,” she chirps.
What he did to deserve this verbal abuse he does not know. What he does know is that in 5 minutes he’s grabbed the gift he’d gotten for Lance (and no, it was not last minute, thanks) and was being escorted to Teddy’s house like he didn’t know the way there himself.
He didn’t, but it was still rude to assume. Probably would have found it eventually, way before Lance woke up anyway.
Which he decides to point out to Hazel. “You do know Lance doesn’t get up until the ripe hour of 12:45 pm right? Why are we doing all of this now?”
The little squirrel pauses for a moment, making Keith stop walking too. With the most condescending look imaginable, she starts speaking, “Look, Keith. Ever since I first saw you getting stung by wasps on our first week here, I knew you couldn’t have been that smart. But now, surely, you can rub your two brain cells together and come to understand that we love Lance and he’s done a lot for this community so we think he deserves a special thank you, uni-wow. ”
Keith’s immediate thought is, Bitch, I did everything for this community what the fuck. Physically he is unable to produce words at the moment.
“So celebrating his birthday by preparing him a surprise party is the very least we could do,” she concludes, patting Keith on the arm (or more like the hand. Again, she’s very small).
She begins walking again as he stands there in disbelief as Hazel’s comments begin to set in.
His first reaction is, Did I just get roasted by Frida Kahlo’s fucking fursona?
His next one is, How dare she insinuate my Loving Lance Hours are not 24 fucking 7.
“HAZEL, WAIT!” he shouts, gaining the small squirrels attention and scaring off a nearby cicada.
Fuck cicadas, honestly.
“I didn’t mean that I don’t care about Lance. I do, very much so. He’s… one of my best friends honestly. We’ve been through a lot together and I trust him with my life. Sure, he can get a little annoying sometimes but I- we love him anyway,” he blurts out.
Hazel is unimpressed for a bit before saying, “Well, okay. I didn’t need all of that, but congratulations for not being a jerk I guess.”
Christ this squirrel is brutal , “What I meant earlier is that… I still don’t see why we all have to plan this shit at 6:00 am. I would probably be much more help to you if I were functioning on a full night's rest… or had some coffee.”
“Well, Teddy doesn’t have coffee. He does have orange juice, though,” she says, before walking back over to him and grabbing his hand with her little paw before continuing to lead him to Teddy’s house.
Keith winces and thinks, This is going to be a long goddamn morning.
...I should have brought toothpaste.
…
When they both arrive at Teddy’s house, the man isn’t actually there. Apollo is, however, and holding a thermos while looking much more alive than Keith is right now.
“How the hell are you all morning people,” Keith grumbles in greeting. Apollo gives him a wave in return before patting the couch cushion next to him as an invitation for Keith to sit. He does.
“Well, you know what they say, kiddo,” Apollo says, “The early bird gets the worm, pah! ”
Keith decides to ignore that because Apollo is his favourite. “What’s in the thermos?” he asks instead.
Apollo shortly answers, “Tea,” and Keith expects that to be all but when Hazel steps back outside he says, “I was lying, it’s vodka. Two years ago I tried to force myself to start getting up earlier because the rest of my older friends were doing it but I can’t, kiddo. Want some?”
He accepts and takes a sip from the thermos, coughing immediately because it’s been a while and that shit is strong apparently.
“I have to add two cups of grapefruit juice so that I don’t become immune to the alcohol,” Apollo adds and Keith looks at him with tears in his eyes.
“ Why? ” he says, to which the eagle shrugs.
“Teddy should be back soon,” Hazel interrupts, coming back inside. Apollo subtly closes the lid on his hell juice and places it down on the nearest coaster (because of course he uses coasters he’s not an- actually, never mind).
Keith looks at her, “Why isn’t he here in the first place?”
“He’s running,” she answers, walking over to place a shiny pink package on the table. Apollo scoots the thermos away from it. Keith decides to place his gift there too, a shiny blue package with a white ribbon.
“From what?” a new voice asks. Everyone whips around to see Bob entering the house and walking right up to the fridge as if he’s done so a million times before.
“He’s just running,” Hazel says again, sitting down on Keith’s lap because there’s nowhere else distinguished to sit.
“Oh, for fun? Wack,” Bob says before taking orange juice out of the fridge and sitting on the floor in front of it because he’s feral.
There’s a knock at the door and Teddy comes in because of course Teddy would be the kind of person to knock on his own front door . He unzips his workout jacket and tosses it on the bed, smiling brightly the whole time.
“Hey guys! Oh, Bob and Keith are here too? Awesome, now it’s really a party, grooof !” he greets. He then turns to Bob and extends his arm, to which Bob replies by tossing a water bottle from the fridge which Teddy catches with one hand and proceeds to down half of it in a single breath.
“Woo! Nothing like a good workout to get you pumped in the morning. Okay, Hazel, what do we gotta do to prepare this place for Lance’s party?”
Everyone turns to look at Hazel, except for Keith, because she’s sitting on his lap and if he turned to look down at her he’d probably bump his chin on her head which would be a pleasant experience for no one.
“Well, I’m not a huge party planning fanatic or anything but I wrote down some essentials on this napkin,” Hazel says, pulling a crumpled napkin out of her pocket. She looks at it for a moment before tossing it away, “Never mind, wrong one. Those are just songs for a playlist I’ve been meaning to make.”
“You got K.K. Cruisin’ on there, pthhpth ?” Bob asks, to which Hazel rolls her eyes and scoffs.
“Of course I do, I’m not a loser.”
Apollo immediately picks up his thermos and takes a large swig.
“Well, it can’t be that hard to plan a birthday party, right?” Keith asks when nobody says anything for a while, “We just need, like, a cake and some decorations or something.”
Teddy smiles and says, “There we go, now we’re talkin’! I’ll get a piece of paper to write this down on.”
“Why bother? We can just use Hazel's napkin,” Bob points out, standing up and producing a pen out of nowhere before trying to write on the napkin.
It rips immediately because Keith’s life is a fucking sitcom now apparently.
Hazel shrugs it off, “It’s all good, dude. I’ve got more napkins.”
The only functional one, Teddy, comes back with a proper piece of paper and jots down the things they need so far. “Okay, cake, decorations, what else do we need, grooof? ”
“Gifts,” Apollo says.
“Don’t we have those already?” Teddy asks, confused.
Apollo glares at Bob, who looks out the window to avoid his gaze, “ Pah, just write it down.”
Nodding, the bear adds it to the list.
It takes them much longer than Keith would like given that it’s now 7:00 am but they’ve finished a list and assigned everyone a task to do.
Hazel is going with Bob to pick out a gift from Nook’s Cranny (which shouldn’t be open for another hour but Keith has no doubt they’ll figure it out), Apollo is looking in his house for decorations, which leaves Teddy and Keith to bake the cake.
“Do you know how to bake, Keith?”
“No.”
This could be a problem.
“I think Tia knows how to bake, though.”
Teddy grimaces, “I’d feel too guilty waking her up. You do it, grooof .”
Keith rolls his eyes and nods, getting up from the couch to find Tia and get her to help them not ruin this entire party.
…
Tia is (somehow) awake and is (again, somehow ) very excited to help them out.
“Oh, it shouldn’t be too hard to make a good cake for Lonce. Especially given all the time we have, teacup ,” she says.
Approximately an hour later Keith finally understands why they needed so much time to set up this party in the first place.
It was going pretty well actually, they had completely finished the cake and were just putting on icing and decorations when Apollo comes back and decides to help out only to immediately set the cake on fire.
At least he has the heart to feel guilty about it, “Sorry, kiddos. I’m no good in the kitchen, I’ll make sure to stay out of your way, pah .”
Keith makes a mental note to tell Shiro about that similarity as well before he’s roped into making cupcakes instead of a cake.
“They will take a lot less time to make,” Tia points out. “Plus, I figured it would be easier for him to take home a few leftover cupcakes rather than an entire cake.”
“Sounds good to me!” Teddy cheers, absolutely covered in flour. He seems to be some kind of ingredient magnet, because whenever they start to pour something else into the mixer, it always spews directly onto him.
He doesn’t ever complain about it though, so Keith assumes this to be a regular occurrence.
Later on, they’ve just finished making the batter and are pouring it into tins that are lined with blue polka-dotted cupcake liners when Bob and Hazel come back from Nook’s Cranny. Bob is carrying an orange package so Keith assumes they were some kind of successful.
“Sorry we’re back so late, Bob was too much of a pussy cat and didn’t want to break into Nook’s so we had to actually wait until they opened,” Hazel explains.
Bob doesn’t respond to this and merely walks up to the counter and sticks his entire paw into the leftover cupcake batter. He licks it off while Tia stares at him in horror and smiles, “Hey, that’s pretty good!”
“I-I’m glad you think so,” she sputters. “In the future, please refrain from eating raw batter. You could get salmonella from the eggs, teacup .”
“ Pthhpth, I’m not afraid of salmonella. As long as I don’t eat salmon, I should be fine!” Bob replies confidently.
The ensuing silence in the room was almost deafening.
Apollo takes another long swig from his thermos.
I. Hate. It. Here.
…
Thankfully, everything goes smoothly from there and when they finally get Lance to come to Teddy’s house he cries.
They’re happy tears, but he’s an ugly crier so…
“ This is the best thing that's ever happened to me, ” he sobs while Teddy gives him a big bear hug.
“Let it all out, dude. My muscles are super big, so they’re great for hugging,” he says, squeezing gently.
Eventually, Lance stops crying and the party resumes. He receives a water gun from Hazel, a model plane from Apollo, a sparkly knitted sweater from Tia, and a surfboard from Bob.
Keith got him something else other than the present that’s sitting on the table, but he figured it would be better to show him after the party had ended.
Lance opens Keith's present and gasps. He holds up the golden watering can and immediately whips his head around to stare at Keith in shock, “HOW?!”
He shrugs, “Apparently we have a five star Island. Isabelle talked to me yesterday and gave me the crafting recipe for that, so I made one for you. Don’t worry, she gave me one for you too, it should be at the bottom.”
The other boy rummages around in the package and eventually pulls out a small card, that as soon as he finishes reading poofs out of existence.
Look, there’s been weirder things on this Island, okay?
Keith receives a big hug, which quickly turns into a group hug that nearly suffocates him before they eventually move on to cake.
“Thank you guys so much for this, seriously, I couldn’t have asked for a better birthday party,” Lance gushes.
Tia giggles, “No problem, Lonce. We’re all very glad you like it!”
“Lonce? That’s a cool nickname, mind if I call you that too?” Bob asks.
“No ❤️️,” Lance replies, causing Bob to pout.
Keith stares at him in confusion, How the fuck did he say “❤️️” out loud.
He shakes it off and clasps Lance’s shoulder to get his attention. When the other boy turns his head, he whispers in his ear, “I’ve got another present for you later if you come with me after the party.”
For a moment, Lance says nothing and Keith considers repeating himself before noticing that Lance has turned a subtle shade of red and hisses, “ Keith! We are in public, keep it in your pants! ”
It takes him a second to process before he flushes as well, “ I didn’t mean it like that, idiot! Just- will you come with me after the party or not?”
Lance swallows and nods, so Keith releases his shoulder and focuses on eating his cupcake to distract himself from that entire conversation.
…
Eventually the party ends and Keith drags Lance over to a secluded part of the Island once they leave Teddy’s house. Lance is carrying a box of leftover cupcakes while Keith carries his gift bags.
“You know, this isn’t helping me believe that you’re not taking me somewhere private to ravish me,” Lance speaks suddenly, causing Keith to choke on his own spit.
“I promise it’s not like that!” Keith says, coming to a stop at the beginning of a field full of flowers.
Lance nearly knocks into him but peers around his shoulder and gasps instead.
It’s a giant field of roses, growing in nearly all shades of the rainbow around a small hill. At the very top, there grows a single blue rose, glistening in the sunlight.
Shoving his leftover cupcakes into Keith's overflowing hands, Lance scrambles to the top of the hill, coming to a halt and crouching down to peer at the flower.
Keith abandons the gifts on the ground and walks over to join Lance in ogling the flower. Once he stops to stand next to the boy, Lance peers up at him with wide-eyed wonder.
“ How? ” he whispers.
He shrugs, “Leif told me about it. It took me forever to breed though, so that’s why there’s only one, sorry.”
Lance shakes his head in disbelief and stands, “You think that matters? Keith, this is the best gift anyone could have possibly given me!”
“It is? Are you sure, because I hardly think it could outmatch something your mom could have given you or-”
He’s cut off by a sudden kiss on his cheek. “Dumbass, the reason it’s so great is because it’s so thoughtful. You used to hate all the flowers that I planted but you knew I liked them so you’ve gone ahead and bred me a special blue rose anyway. Just the fact that you went through so much trouble to make me happy is special, so... thank you.”
“Y-you’re welcome,” he stuttered, flushing a bit at both the kiss and the confession. Then he realized, “Wait a second, did you just call me a dumbass?!”
Now it was Lances turn to sputter, “That was so not the point!”
“You could have gotten the point across without insulting me! Take it back!”
The other boy pouted, “You know what? No! I’m not taking it back, because you are a dumbass!”
Keith groaned in frustration, “Fine! See if I do anything this nice for you again!”
Lance stuck out his tongue, “Whatever, you know you love me, Mullet.”
He sighed heavily, “Yeah, I guess I do.”
“Sap.”
“Dickhead.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
As long as I’m here with Lance, I guess this Island isn’t that bad after all.
Then, Lance calls, “Race you back home!” and immediately slips down the hill and falls flat on his face.
Keith’s laughter could be heard from every corner of the Island.