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Lan Wangji walked towards the Jingshi. He tried to remember how he got there; the last memory he had was falling asleep at 9pm as usual.

His legs kept moving, almost without any conscious input. His mind slipped around his reasons for being there, like trying to hold water in his hands, and as he walked he started to notice tiny differences around him. That shrub seemed fuller and those plants were surely different. Where had that particular carving come from? That building looked too new. He wanted to stop and examine the changes, but his legs carried him inexorably towards the Jingshi. He let them.

As the Jingshi came into view, Lan Wangji blinked at the pond outside. Were those lotus plants? As he passed closer he could see that they were small and appeared to be in new growth, but they were unmistakably lotuses. When had they been planted? They had certainly not been there before he went to sleep.

“Lan Zhan! Ahhhh, you are still my favourite, thank you.” The voice, instantly recognisable, came from inside the Jingshi, whose doors were open to admit the cool breeze.

Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian was in his home. What was he doing in there? Suddenly the lotuses made sense; Wei Wuxian must have planted them as a joke and now he had invaded Lan Wangji’s sanctuary to further tease. Was it not enough that he invaded Lan Wangji’s every waking hour while Lan Wangji supervised his punishment in the library? That he was followed around by Wei Wuxian all day? Or that Wei Wuxian invaded his thoughts as he lay in bed at night? Now he dared to pursue Lan Wangji into his quiet home?

Lan Wangji sped forward, stride purposeful for the first time since waking on the path to the Jingshi. His heart was hammering, the desire to see Wei Wuxian in his home, to feed his fierce imagination, conflicting with anger at such presumption. He marched to the door of the Jingshi and froze.

The scene in front of him was a riot of confusion. Nothing about it made any sense, and Lan Wangji stood stationary while he tried desperately to understand.

Wei Wuxian was inside the Jingshi, but he was sitting at Lan Wangji’s small table with Lan Wangji himself. Or, a version of Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian was wearing black and red, colours that Lan Wangji had never seen him in before, but that suited him so well it was hard to tear his eyes away. Wei Wuxian was sitting, as ever, in a slouched manner completely unbefitting the rules. It was just the same as the poses he had seen from Wei Wuxian earlier in the day. He was leaning so far into Lan Wangji’s space, but Lan Wangji, this other Lan Wangji, did not appear to be correcting him.

Lan Wangji’s avid eyes took in that this other him was wearing robes that were much more elaborate than Lan Wangji himself would ever wear. He was dressed far in excess of the clothes of a simple disciple. His hairpiece was also extravagant, a tall and decorated affair. As Lan Wangji continued to take in the scene, he watched the other Lan Wangji reach out to pick up a bottle and carefully pour liquid into the cup that Wei Wuxian had just finished. Wei Wuxian lifted the cup again and drained it. The other him poured again.

“You’re so good to me, Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian didn’t drain the cup this time, but smelled it deeply and smiled at the other Lan Wangji. He laid a hand on the other’s arm and it was not shaken off.

Lan Wangji felt the heat in his ears to see Wei Wuxian look at his other self with such open affection. He was so distracted by it that it took a moment to place the significance of the bottle Wei Wuxian was being served from. Emperor’s Smile. This other version of himself was not only allowing Wei Wuxian to openly drink liquor in the Cloud Recesses, but was actually serving him.

He moved to step forwards, to intervene, to ask what was happening, but his feet were again no longer under his conscious control. He tried to call out, but nothing came out of his mouth. He could only watch.

Looking on, Lan Wangji could see how pleased Wei Wuxian’s words had made this other version of himself. He prided himself on his ability to mask his true emotions, yet this more elaborate Lan Wangji had an indulgent smile on his face. Lan Wangji was almost ashamed to see how openly this other version was showing his affection for Wei Wuxian. Every day in the library he had to stop himself from revealing his true thoughts and feelings, yet here was this alternative version of himself who was displaying them openly for Wei Wuxian to see.

A small part of him wondered if that was why Wei Wuxian appeared to also be showing such sentiment on his own face.

As he watched, Wei Wuxian sighed with contentment. “Lan Zhan, you know that if you keep spoiling me I’ll never want to leave and then where will you be? Me constantly under foot, spoiling your peace.”

“Wei Ying is always welcome.”

Lan Wangji could not believe this other version could speak so plainly, so openly.

Wei Wuxian appeared very pleased by the admission and smiled, ducking his head. Lan Wangji felt a swooping roll of emotion to see it. He hated how Wei Wuxian made him feel and he hated that this version of himself apparently could make Wei Wuxian look so happy and content. Confusion washed over him again.

“Thank you, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said. “But I can’t impose on your hospitality too long. I don’t want you to get sick of me.”

Lan Wangji felt a rising tide of warmth for this Wei Wuxian. He seemed like the Wei Wuxian he saw every day, but somehow calmer, less restless, yet still clearly himself. He felt…older? It was an odd thought, but as soon as it crossed his mind it felt right. Older. And this other version of himself, he seemed older too.

“Wei Ying.” Wei Wuxian looked back up at the other version of Lan Wangji. “I will not get sick of you. You are welcome here for as long as you wish to stay.”

It was like Lan Wangji’s attention could now move from the scene at the table to take in the rest of the Jingshi. He could see a second bed installed in the bedroom alcove, with partitions that could separate it from view if needed. It was far enough from his own bed for propriety, but close enough that he would hear someone sleeping in it and they would hear him. There were other small signs of shared inhabitation. This other, older Lan Wangji had Wei Wuxian living with him. Was this the future? Was this his future? Lan Wangji could not believe that he could ever want Wei Wuxian to live with him. How would he ever get anything done, how would he concentrate? How could he sleep while hearing Wei Wuxian breathe so close by? He felt hot at just the thought.

Lan Wangji continued to watch until Wei Wuxian finished his cup of wine and pushed to his feet. He picked up a flute and twirled it before tucking it into his belt. Lan Wangji watched the other Lan Wangji stand and pick up Bichen. Lan Wangji looked down to see that he did not have his own sword. So there were not two Bichens here. Did that mean something? He looked back but could not see Wei Wuxian’s sword.

Wei Wuxian and the other Lan Wangji left the Jingshi; Lan Wangji stepped out of their way at the last moment. Neither appeared to be able to see him. He followed them as they walked through Cloud Recesses and wondered about Wei Wuxian’s sword. Why was he not carrying it? They passed others along the way and everyone bowed to this other Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian was usually accorded a polite nod, but no one mentioned his lack of etiquette. No one even seemed to notice.

As Lan Wangji watched them approach the exit to Cloud Recesses, a couple of juniors appeared towing a donkey.

“Wei-qianbei! Hanguang-jun!”

Lan Wangji did not recognise the juniors, and was shocked by the volume of the one that called out. This other version of himself did not remind the junior about the rules; instead he appeared to smile at them both.

The juniors bowed deeply to Wei Wuxian as well as the other Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji watched their bows and realised it was the other version of him that they were calling “Hanguang-jun”.

The loud boy’s companion stepped very close to Wei Wuxian and Wei Wuxian threw an arm around him, pulling him into a tight hug. Lan Wangji bristled. Who was this junior who was so friendly with Wei Wuxian? He watched the other version of himself (Hanguang-jun?) look on, seeming pleased. This Hanguang-jun had Wei Wuxian living in his home, yet was not jealous when these juniors acted so brazenly with him?

The loud junior started to talk to Hanguang-jun, something to do with a lesson, but Lan Wangji could not stop watching Wei Wuxian interacting with the quieter junior. They were so…intimate. Their heads ducked together as Wei Wuxian patted the young man and told him to be careful. The young man glanced over at Hanguang-jun and, seeing him occupied, dropped his voice to speak to Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji knew it was wrong, but he stepped closer to be able to hear the words.

“Xian-ge, please come back soon. Hanguang-jun will miss you while you are away.”

Lan Wangji was shocked at the informal name for Wei Wuxian and the presumption of this junior. Who was he to Wei Wuxian to call him such things? And who was he to speak on Hanguang-jun’s behalf, on his behalf like that?

Wei Wuxian, however, laughed and ruffled the junior’s hair. “Ahhhh, you’re such a good boy thinking of your Hanguang-jun like that.” The junior ducked his head. “Don’t you worry, Lan Zhan will be happy to have me out of his hair for a while.”

The junior looked like he disagreed, but he didn’t say anything. Wei Wuxian and the junior hugged again, Lan Wangji still bristling with a brittle jealousy. The loud junior then approached and made to bow again, but Wei Wuxian grabbed his arms to stop it and pulled him into a one-armed hug.

“You two look after each other. Say hello to your other two partners in crime when you see them.” The young men laughed and Hanguang-jun smiled again. Lan Wangji could not imagine anything that would make him smile so much. There was no possible way this could be his future. Wei Wuxian so welcome and happy to stay in the Cloud Recesses? His closeness to the juniors? This version of himself pouring liquor for him? There was no course of events that Lan Wangji could imagine that would bring these circumstances to pass.

The juniors left again, leaving the donkey with Hanguang-jun and Wei Wuxian, who led it to the gate. There Hanguang-jun stopped and Wei Wuxian turned to face him.

“Well, I’ll get on my way.” Wei Wuxian seemed to hesitate and Lan Wangji watched carefully. Were he in the library with Wei Wuxian, he would be watching for pranks at this point. A Wei Wuxian who clearly had more to say was one to be watched, from his experience. The silence stretched out for a few seconds before Wei Wuxian spoke again. “I’ll see you when I next come to visit, Lan Zhan.” Lan Wangji was sure that was not what Wei Wuxian had really intended to say.

Hanguang-jun nodded. “Mn.”

Wei Wuxian tugged on the donkey’s halter to make it start moving again and waved. “Bye!”

Hanguang-jun nodded, watched for a few seconds and then turned to go back into Cloud Recesses. Lan Wangji watched Wei Wuxian instead. His pace seemed slower, but maybe it was to accommodate the donkey, who seemed loathe to follow him.

Lan Wangji walked after them until Wei Wuxian stopped, just before the path curved out of sight of the gate. Wei Wuxian turned and looked back up at where Hanguang-jun had been standing and let out a deep, heavy sigh. He stood for minutes, just gazing at where Hanguang-jun had been, and Lan Wangji wished he could know what Wei Wuxian was thinking.

Wei Wuxian finally turned and tugged on the donkey’s halter again. When the donkey was slow to respond, Wei Wuxian laughed. “Aiiii, Little Apple, I don’t want to leave either, but we have to. Come on, we can’t outstay our welcome.”

Lan Wangji blinked. Wei Wuxian didn’t want to leave? So why was he? Had he not heard Hanguang-jun say that he was welcome to stay as long as he wanted? He was almost ashamed to hear any version of himself be so blatant about wanting Wei Wuxian to remain. What had Wei Wuxian heard, if he thought that Hanguang-jun did not want him in Cloud Recesses? Would this Hanguang-jun share the Jingshi with him, when there were so many guest quarters available, if he did not want him there?

Lan Wangji followed Wei Wuxian as he trudged down the mountain, so many questions in his head. Where was Wei Wuxian’s sword? Why was he travelling with a donkey instead of on his sword? Why did he not see that Hanguang-jun wanted Wei Wuxian to stay? He couldn’t ask any of them and, as everything misted into white around him, Lan Wangji felt a bone-deep frustration.

The white mist cleared and Lan Wangji woke up. He was alone in bed and he immediately craned his neck to check. No other bed. He was alone in the Jingshi and everything was exactly as it had been when he went to sleep. He sighed. A dream. A vivid and strange dream, but not real. He felt a keen sense of relief, tinged with disappointment. Lan Wangji drifted back to sleep.

In the morning he pushed the memories aside and continued on with his day. When he saw Wei Wuxian, he thought about how good he would look in black and red.

Lan Wangji dreamed again the following night. Wei Wuxian was once again in Cloud Recesses; it seemed he had returned a few months after Lan Wangji had watched him depart. Over multiple nights Lan Wangji watched as Wei Wuxian settled into the Jingshi, spreading to take up space that Hanguang-jun never seemed to mind sharing.

During the day Lan Wangji fought hard to not let his mind drift to the dreams. He knew what they were, he knew his mind was giving him what he wanted. Wei Wuxian. A Wei Wuxian who wanted to spend time with Lan Wangji. A Wei Wuxian who lived with him in the Jingshi, although even his sleeping mind could not imagine that Wei Wuxian would want to share his bed. It would be enough, though, he knew it. A Wei Wuxian who wanted to stay with him. Who would see the Cloud Recesses as a place to enjoy being, rather than a source of too many rules.

The dreams were a blessing and a curse.

Lan Wangji watched Wei Wuxian tease Hanguang-jun, but Hanguang-jun did not get angry or frustrated like Lan Wangji did. He smiled and hummed and even, sometimes, teased back. On these occasions Wei Wuxian would roll with laughter, touching Hanguang-jun and praising him. Lan Wangji blushed every time. He only wished that he could do such things in his waking hours, rather than always being flustered around Wei Wuxian.

Each dream seemed to cover varying time periods; sometimes days, sometimes weeks. It seemed so little time until Wei Wuxian was leaving again. Hanguang-jun again turned away and went back into Cloud Recesses, missing Wei Wuxian stopping and looking back. Hanguang-jun clearly wanted Wei Wuxian to stay and Wei Wuxian obviously didn’t want to leave. How could they keep parting like this? Why could Wei Wuxian not hear that he was wanted?

Lan Wangji still had questions about this world that his imagination had built. Why, in his dreams, did Wei Wuxian not carry his sword? Why was his brother never around? Who were the juniors who regularly turned up at the Jingshi to persuade Wei Wuxian to teach and spend time with them? He never saw or heard enough to answer these questions, but he always saw Wei Wuxian arriving or leaving in great detail.

On the night after Lan Wangji had tied himself to Wei Wuxian in the Cold Pond Cave, and they had learned of the Yin Iron, he dreamed of Hanguang-jun in a meeting, everyone looking to him. The quieter junior came to get his attention at the back of the room. He mimed playing a flute and then left. Hanguang-jun ended the meeting immediately and left the room. Lan Wangji was astonished at the way Hanguang-jun just put aside his obligations and followed him to the gates of Cloud Recesses. There he found a crowd of juniors all around Wei Wuxian, who was towing his donkey. He shook his head. Of course, the flute. The junior had been telling Lan Wangji that Wei Wuxian had arrived again and Hanguang-jun had dropped everything immediately to come.

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian’s face lit into a grin and he waded through the juniors to come and face Hanguang-jun. They paused there, each with eyes intent on the other, but nothing more. Lan Wangji was so deeply frustrated at his own imagination. Hanguang-jun dropped a meeting for Wei Wuxian’s arrival and yet they stood so far apart? Wei Wuxian did not want to be away from Cloud Recesses, yet when he returned he only looked at Hanguang-jun with hungry eyes that Lan Wangji would dearly love to see from Wei Wuxian in his waking life.

Were he Hanguang-jun...the thought stopped. What would he do? What could he do? There were juniors all around, petting the donkey and talking excitedly about Wei Wuxian’s return. What reaction would be appropriate with such an audience? He looked down at Wei Wuxian’s hands. He could clasp his arm, his wrist. It would be a small gesture, but maybe Wei Wuxian would understand.

He willed Hanguang-jun to do it, but he didn’t. Hanguang-jun led Wei Wuxian back to the Jingshi and the cycle started all over again. Lan Wangji woke from the dreams increasingly frustrated at his own imagination and its apparent inability to move forward, even in this fantasy that he had built for himself.

The dreams continued until Lan Wangji left Cloud Recesses to pursue the Yin Iron. In them Wei Wuxian left Cloud Recesses again and again, still not hearing Hanguang-jun’s professions that he was welcome to stay as a request for him to do so. Hanguang-jun always turned away and failed to see that Wei Wuxian wanted to remain.

For a few nights, when he realised that the dreams had stopped, Lan Wangji missed them, wanting to return to the world in which Wei Wuxian was his companion, rather than the frustrating tag-along he had become in waking life. But the dreams never came back and Lan Wangji eventually forgot about them.

The first time Lan Wangji saw Wei Wuxian with Chenqing a small part of his mind tried to flag a memory, but it was not the right time to chase it down. Later he considered and shook his head. A dream from years ago. An odd coincidence.

Life continued.

Lan Wangji picked up the ribbon and placed it on the table where Wei Wuxian would not miss it. He also picked up a few pieces of talisman paper and placed them on the table, too.

“Ah ha!” Wei Wuxian's voice drifted from the sleeping alcove, slightly muffled. “It had shifted right under the bed!”

Wei Wuxian had been looking for his notebook, the one that he had used to sketch things for Lan Wangji while he was travelling. Lan Wangji’s favourite memory of Wei Wuxian’s first few nights back in Cloud Recesses was Wei Wuxian showing him all of the sketches and talking through the stories behind them. Lan Wangji would be happy to hear more stories, but his stomach dropped again at the thought of Wei Wuxian leaving in order to gather them.

Lan Wangji placed the bottle of Emperor’s Smile on the table and sat down to pour his tea. Wei Wuxian came out waving the notebook, grinning. He made an ’ahhhh’ sound at the items Lan Wangji had placed on the table and shoved them and the notebook haphazardly into his qiankun pouch.

Wei Wuxian dropped down to sit at the table and sighed. “I think that’s everything.” He eyed the bottle. “Unless that’s for me to take with me?”

Lan Wangji nodded. “Mn.”

“Lan Zhan! Ahhhh, you are still my favourite, thank you.” Wei Wuxian pulled the top off and smelled the liquor inside. He then took a swig, humming his pleasure. Lan Wangji recalled times when the wine had run down Wei Wuxian’s throat and he thought about licking it off.

Lan Wangji reached out and took the bottle from Wei Wuxian’s hand. He poured a cup, using one hand to hold his sleeve back. Wei Wuxian sprawled across the table, leaning right into Lan Wangji’s space, and he felt his ears going red. Wei Wuxian did this a lot and Lan Wangji loved it every time. From long experience he knew it was just the way that Wei Wuxian was, free and open. It did not signal a desire to touch, but Lan Wangji still entertained bright fantasies that one day it might.

Wei Wuxian picked up the cup and drained it. Lan Wangji leaned in to immediately pour him another, and as he did so a memory burst whole in his mind, like one of the juniors’ flares going off.

He had seen this before. Wei Wuxian sprawled across the table, himself pouring Emperor’s Smile into Wei Wuxian’s cup, Wei Wuxian lifting it again to drink it straight down. Wei Wuxian planning to leave.

Lan Wangji’s head snapped around to the door, as though he might see his younger self standing there, looking on.

“You’re so good to me, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said. He turned back to see Wei Wuxian smiling at him, then Wei Wuxian laid a hand on Lan Wangji’s arm. As he felt the warm pleasure of its placement, the thrill of Wei Wuxian choosing to touch him, memories came flooding back. The dreams, the ones that he had apparently forgotten all about, everything slid into place. This was what he had seen.

He looked around, seeing the Jingshi anew, but overlaid with the memory of seeing it when he was younger.

Wei Wuxian withdrew his hand. “Lan Zhan?” He had seen Lan Wangji’s apparent distraction.

Lan Wangji turned back to him. What could he say? That it appeared he may have dreamed this moment when he was a teenager? Was he really that sure?

He needed to think about it.

“Mn.” He placed his own hand on Wei Wuxian’s arm as a silent apology for affecting the moment. Wei Wuxian smiled at him again, drinking the cup of wine. Lan Wangji poured another. He would always pour another.

Wei Wuxian's face flushed, doubtless from so much wine so quickly. “You shouldn’t keep spoiling me, Lan Zhan. I’ll never want to leave and you’ll have me constantly under foot, taking up your space, in your way.”

Lan Wangji felt an odd overlay of past and future as he spoke. “Wei Ying is always welcome.”

It was true and Lan Wangji wanted Wei Wuxian to know. But even as he spoke he remembered his own incredulity at how forward it sounded to his teenage ears. Now it felt natural to say. True. Honest.

Wei Wuxian smiled and ducked his head. Lan Wangji felt a warm pleasure at telling Wei Wuxian the truth.

“Thank you, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said. “But I can’t impose on your hospitality too long. I don’t want you to get sick of me.”

“Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji called his name to make Wei Wuxian look up at him. “I will not get sick of you. You are welcome here for as long as you wish to stay.”

There, he had said it. He did not want Wei Wuxian to feel pressured to stay if he wanted to leave, but he wanted to be sure that Wei Wuxian knew he was welcome and wanted here.

As he said it the swirl of past memories flowed through his mind again, like reflections overlaid. Had he said the same thing before? As he tried to recall, the memory of frustration came back. Of seeing that Wei Wuxian wanted to stay, but had not heard what Lan Wangji was telling him.

Lan Wangji watched Wei Wuxian finish his wine and wondered at the alternatives. Wei Wuxian talked often of the rules in Cloud Recesses, how they were too hard to follow and stifled the juniors from using moral judgements and creativity. If Wei Wuxian wanted to stay then Lan Wangji had told him he was welcome, but he would never be his father, forcing someone to remain when they did not want it.

When Wei Wuxian was ready, they rose and left the Jingshi. As they did Lan Wangji looked around again, as though his younger self might be lurking there as they walked out of the door. He wasn’t, of course.

They walked towards the gates out of Cloud Recesses and as they approached the exit Lan Wangji was unsurprised to hear Lan Jingyi’s voice raised.

“Wei-qianbei! Hanguang-jun!”

He and Lan Sizhui had Little Apple in tow, and when they reached him they bowed. Their bow to Wei Wuxian was just as deep. Many would object to that, considering Lan Wangji’s status, but Lan Wangji took great pleasure in seeing the respect that the juniors had for Wei Wuxian. If they bowed even deeper to him than to Lan Wangji, then Lan Wangji would only see it as Wei Wuxian’s due.

Again the doubling of memory swayed him for a moment, recalling his confusion in the past at Wei Wuxian’s relationship with Lan Sizhui. He smiled to remember how jealous he had felt watching their easy camaraderie, still awkward at times as they negotiated between senior and junior, father and son, and ridiculous older brother to serious younger brother.

Lan Jingyi stepped closer to ask him about a lesson and Lan Wangji immediately recognised it for the distraction it was. He allowed it, and from the corner of his eye saw Lan Sizhui lean close to talk quietly to Wei Wuxian. He didn’t need to listen; he already knew what was being said.

Lan Sizhui saw too much about Lan Wangji. He worried with a son’s intensity, doubtless thinking of the years that Lan Wangji had mourned for Wei Wuxian. He also yearned with a son’s ferocity to have both his fathers together and in one place. Lan Sizhui could not imagine a world in which Wei Wuxian might not want Lan Wangji back in the same way.

At least Lan Wangji knew that Lan Sizhui’s meddling was well meant and did not drift into speculative disclosures.

While he spoke to Lan Jingyi, Lan Wangji saw Wei Wuxian laugh and ruffle Lan Sizhui’s hair. They exchanged a few more words, and Wei Wuxian hugged Lan Sizhui. Lan Wangji wrapped up the lesson discussion and, when pressed, shook his head to let Lan Jingyi know he would not discuss the issue further. Lan Jingyi happily turned away to his own goodbyes for Wei Wuxian, reinforcing Lan Wangji’s guess that he had deliberately allowed Lan Sizhui to speak to Wei Wuxian in confidence.

Lan Wangji watched Wei Wuxian stop Lan Jingyi’s bow and hug him.

“You two look after each other. Say hello to your other two partners in crime when you see them,” Wei Wuxian said.

Lan Wangji smiled. The four really were inseparable. Not a week went by without an excuse for them getting together on some adventure or another. He again thought back to his younger self watching this scene. Would that he’d had such friends at that age.

Although, Lan Wangji remembered that Wei Wuxian had tried to forge such a group with him, with Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang. It was Lan Wangji who had closed himself off to the friendships, too uneasy at his own feverish feelings for Wei Wuxian and terrified at how out of control he felt.

The goodbyes were completed and Wei Wuxian took Little Apple’s halter. The juniors left and Lan Wangji walked Wei Wuxian to the gate, where Wei Wuxian turned to face him.

“Well, I’ll get on my way.” Wei Wuxian hesitated, and Lan Wangji remembered being sure that Wei Wuxian was going to say something important. The moment passed. “I’ll see you when I next come to visit, Lan Zhan.”

Lan Wangji nodded. “Mn.” He thought back to the dream and quickly added “Soon.”

Wei Wuxian smiled. “Soon.” He ducked his head and then tugged on Little Apple’s halter. He waved. “Bye!”

Lan Wangji nodded again, watching Wei Wuxian walking away for a few seconds. He wanted to turn away, go back into Cloud Recesses. He didn’t want his last memory of Wei Wuxian’s visit to be him walking away, out of sight. It felt like if he didn’t watch him go then maybe Wei Wuxian was always there, just outside the gates. As though Lan Wangji could go down at any time and meet him.

He made himself watch. He remembered in the dream that Wei Wuxian would always turn back to look for him at the bend in the road. He remembered Wei Wuxian telling Little Apple that he didn’t want to leave. Lan Wangji felt sure that his offers were enough to let Wei Wuxian know that he wanted him here, but he waited to see if this, too, was like the dream.

Just before rounding the bend, Wei Wuxian turned and looked back up at Lan Wangji. His face broke into a beatific smile and he waved energetically. Lan Wangji wanted to run down the hill and grab him, telling him that he should stay and never leave. But he needed to think about it, to consider. What were the dreams that Lan Wangji had seen while he was a teenager? Where had they come from? How could they have shown him events so far in the future?

Lan Wangji lifted a hand to wave, then Wei Wuxian rounded the bend out of sight. He stood for a few moments, watching just in case Wei Wuxian was going to come back. He didn’t.

Lan Wangji turned and walked straight to the Hanshi.

Lan Xichen was still in seclusion, but he was always happy for Lan Wangji to sit and have tea with him. Lan Wangji hoped that Lan Xichen would be willing to help him understand what was happening regardless, so after the usual pleasantries, he explained the situation.

“During the time that Wei Ying was studying here, when I was a teenager, I had dreams about myself and Wei Ying.”

Lan Xichen poured more tea for them both and then sat back, hands placed carefully in his lap. “You had dreams?”

“Mn,” Lan Wangji said.

Lan Xichen tilted his head. “I presume that these dreams were noteworthy, if you are mentioning them now?”

Lan Wangji greatly appreciated his brother. He knew Lan Wangji so well and always helped him to articulate when he was finding it difficult to put his thoughts into words. Only Wei Wuxian did anything similar.

“The dreams were very detailed. At the time I presumed that they were normal dreams, induced by Wei Ying’s presence, as they stopped when he was no longer in Cloud Recesses.” Lan Wangji paused and lifted his own cup to sip from it. “Today the events of the first dream actually occurred.”

Lan Xichen shook his head. “I don’t understand.”

Lan Wangji pursed his lips. “The events that I observed occurring in the first of the dreams just came to pass here, in Cloud Recesses, a few hours ago.”

Lan Xichen lips parted in surprise. “Wangji, are you sure?”

“Mn.” Lan Xichen waited so Lan Wangji continued. “I had forgotten about the dreams in the years that have passed, but when occurrences triggered the memory, they flooded back. They are not like my memory of other dreams. Once I recalled them, the details came back perfectly.”

“Which indicates that they were of magical origin.” Lan Wangji raised an eyebrow and Lan Xichen smiled. “Yes, along with the obvious fact that they showed you something that would not occur for almost two decades.”

Lan Wangji nodded.

“Wangji, may I ask what the dreams showed to you?”

Lan Wangji nodded again. He explained it from his past, dream-self’s point of view. How he had ‘woken’ on the path to the Jingshi and found Wei Wuxian and his future - now present - self sitting at the table. He explained the walk to the gates and their departure. He explained what had happened, but withheld the thought processes of his younger self and the slight change he had made when Wei Wuxian left. Lan Xichen, however, knew him too well.

“You suspect some purpose? Is there something specific about this afternoon?” Lan Xichen poured Lan Wangji more tea as he asked, though he hadn’t touched his own. “Wangji, did something happen with Wei-gongzi this afternoon?”

Lan Wangji again used sipping his tea to give himself time to gather his words. “I am unsure if it is a specific purpose, but my younger self was able to view some aspects of today that I was not privy to. It” - he paused - “changed my perspective on events.”

“How so?” The question was mild, but Lan Xichen's keen gaze was not. He knew Lan Wangji was feeling uncomfortable sharing, but pushed him anyway. He knew why Lan Wangji had come to him.

Lan Wangji pulled his own hands into his lap. “I did not want Wei Ying to leave.” Lan Xichen nodded like that was a given. “Yet I will not ask him to stay for me if he wants to travel. If he does not want to stay in Cloud Recesses.”

“Ah.” Lan Xichen’s small smile was understanding.

Lan Wangji looked down at his hands. “What I saw when I was younger indicated that Wei Ying did not want to leave, to go and travel, but instead was doing so because he thought that I would tire of his presence.”

“Oh, Wangji.” Lan Xichen reached out a hand towards Lan Wangji and then drew it back. He finally lifted his tea instead, but just held it, as though to occupy his hands. “Did you do anything differently? Change anything?”

Lan Wangji nodded. “Mn. I wanted to see if something I saw in the dream came to pass. Something that I would not have seen if I had acted the same way.”

“And did it?” Lan Xichen’s voice was keen, interested.

“Mn.” Lan Wangji watched as Lan Xichen finally drank some of his tea. It felt like a release of tension. Like something had finally pierced Lan Xichen’s perpetual reflections.

There was silence between them for a few moments before Lan Xichen spoke again. “So did you ask Wei-gongzi to stay?” Lan Wangji shook his head and Lan Xichen placed his cup down heavily. “Wangji! Why not?”

“Without knowing the source of the dreams, I cannot trust that they are as they seem,” he explained.

“But you said that something you would not otherwise have observed came to pass.”

Lan Wangji smoothed a finger across his lap. “It is one point of evidence, and scant. I cannot risk making Wei Ying feel an obligation on such a small point.”

Lan Xichen stared at him for a moment. “But you said that this was the first of many dreams. Did all of them indicate the same conclusion?”

“They did,” Lan Wangji said.

“Then together do they not add to the weight of evidence?”

Lan Wangji shook his head. “Those dreams have not yet come to pass, and may not. I will not risk Wei Ying unless I know more. Without knowing the source of the dreams, I cannot be sure that they were all accurate reflections of the future.”

Lan Xichen sat back. “Ahhh. So would you like my help to find out where the dreams came from?” Lan Wangji nodded and Lan Xichen smiled. “Then we should start in the library as soon as we can.”

Lan Wangji breathed a small sigh of relief. Of course his brother would suspend his seclusion to help him. “Thank you.”

The meeting was dragging. Lan Wangji enjoyed the aspects of the Chief Cultivator role where he could affect much needed change. He liked getting sects to collaborate to promote better care of the people who were just living their lives. He felt like he and Wei Wuxian were a team, even if from afar. Wei Wuxian was out there, helping people by ridding them of the ills that plagued them. Lan Wangji was here, changing things so that the ills were less likely to reoccur.

They were not side by side like he truly wanted, but he and Wei Wuxian still worked in tandem. It made sitting through tedious and interminable meetings like this one seem worth it.

The main issue had been resolved; this was now just various smaller sects talking to each other. At first Lan Wangji had cut off the gatherings after the agenda was completed, but Lan Xichen had recommended allowing this socialising aspect to continue, as it gave an opportunity for people to associate in a way not connected to disputes or direct politics. Lan Wangji had seen the wisdom and then the fruits of the choice, but it didn’t make sitting through it any easier. He did not enjoy this kind of interaction.

Lan Wangji considered how this would be different if Wei Wuxian were here with him. Wei Wuxian socialised easily; however, his reputation as the Yiling Patriarch was still contentious. Some now held him up as an example of how depraved Jin Guangyao had actually been, celebrating his dedication in the face of great trials and lauding his choices. There were small Schools of the Patriarch springing up, and Wei Wuxian enjoyed writing Lan Wangji long letters about how he always tried to join them, but was inevitably denied - told he wasn’t suitable - when he asked too many questions.

Others had spent too many years invested in the Yiling Patriarch as a source of great evil to change their minds. More evidence just further entrenched their incorrect beliefs, and they decided that Wei Wuxian must have been colluding with Jin Guangyao all along.

If Wei Wuxian were here, though, he would likely just talk with Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian now sought him out and chose to spend time with him, even in a crowded room. Wei Wuxian would be sat at his side, happy for their combined reputation to keep away the chattering masses. He would make jokes for Lan Wangji’s benefit and find Lan Wangji’s small observations entertaining.

Lan Wangji suppressed a sigh. From his usual patterns, Lan Wangji likely had weeks yet until Wei Wuxian was back in Cloud Recesses again. He mentally flipped through his memories of the dreams. While many details were clear now, time made it difficult to recall in exactly what order they had occurred. Only when Wei Wuxian was there could he marry the memory with the visit.

There had been two more since the first, each following the dream as it laid out. In the interest of experimentation, Lan Wangji changed small things, like the timing of a meal or the exact phrasing of something, but it did not have a noticeable effect on the overall outcome of events.

Every time, when Wei Wuxian left, Lan Wangji watched him walk away and saw him turn back before rounding the corner. During Wei Wuxian’s last visit, Lan Xichen had urged him to be bolder, and even to ask Wei Wuxian to stay. Did he not have enough evidence by now? But Lan Wangji had delayed and then it was too late.

Maybe this time, when Wei Wuxian was here again, Lan Wangji could tell him about the dreams. Research had thrown up no possible solutions to such a wide-reaching phenomenon, but Wei Wuxian excelled at problem solving.

Lan Sizhui stepped into the room at the back, diverting Lan Wangji’s attention. He raised an eyebrow in question, but just before Lan Sizhui raised his arms, Lan Wangji knew suddenly what this was. Wei Wuxian was here.

Lan Sizhui mimed the flute, the sight overlaying his memory of the dream again. Lan Wangji nodded and stood up.

“My apologies, something urgent has arisen, I must leave.” Lan Wangji indicated to the assigned Lan juniors that they should continue to oversee the meeting and wrap it up.

His heart was beating too fast, and as he left the meeting room he schooled himself to walk at a normal pace. The urge to pick up his robes and run had never been stronger. He saw himself in the remembered eyes of his younger self, walking upright and purposeful, but with none of his excited, anxious anticipation outwardly apparent. Lan Wangji sometimes felt like his whole heart must be constantly available to view by all around him, and especially to Wei Wuxian, but the memories from the dreams served to demonstrate that it wasn’t necessarily true even for himself.

As Lan Wangji approached the gates he was unsurprised to see that any of the older juniors not currently engaged in duties, as well as some who should be, were crowded around Wei Wuxian. There was a general hum of chatter, and Lan Wangji’s heart was filled with joy to see Wei Wuxian’s smiling face, to see him looking well. He knew that Lan Sizhui would have made it clear if Wei Wuxian were unwell or injured, but his unexpected arrival had still made Lan Wangji concerned.

As Lan Wangji drew near, Wei Wuxian finally spotted him. “Lan Zhan!” A remembered grin lit his face and he waded through the juniors towards Lan Wangji, before pausing in front of him, eyes intense on Lan Wangji.

Hungry. Lan Wangji recalled his younger self’s assessment of Wei Wuxian’s look, and he deeply wanted to believe it to be true. But he wasn’t a younger outsider any longer. His teenage self had not spent the time he had with Wei Wuxian, had not built up their attachment. Lan Wangji here and now knew that there could be complexities of feelings, where a person might love, may desire to be close, but that did not necessarily indicate an inclination to take the relationship to the intimate and physical places that Lan Wangji did.

Still, he remembered the frustration in the dream as he felt it right then, eyes locked with Wei Wuxian. What could he do here, with the juniors still milling around?

Lan Wangji stepped forward and wrapped each of his hands around Wei Wuxian’s forearms. Wei Wuxian stilled as he did so, watching Lan Wangji closely.

“Welcome back, Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji pressed once, squeezing before letting go again. “I am glad you are here.”

Wei Wuxian’s grin flickered into a different kind of smile, eyes wide and lips parted. As Lan Wangji’s hands pulled away Wei Wuxian reached up and grasped them, fingers wrapping around Lan Wangji’s palms and squeezing once. Then he also let go.

“I’m happy to be back, Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian sounded slightly breathless and Lan Wangji felt the same. His heart was thudding so loud in his chest he felt like everyone must hear it. Wei Wuxian’s cheeks were staining pink and Lan Wangji wanted to take up his hands again, to kiss each with reverence while watching the colour in Wei Wuxian’s face darken to red.

A question called out to Wei Wuxian caught their attention and the moment broke as Wei Wuxian’s eyes cut away to look back towards the juniors. The rest of the world flooded back in and Lan Wangji felt his own ears heating when he thought of how he and Wei Wuxian must have appeared from the outside. His younger self would doubtless have been scandalised.

Yet none of the juniors appeared to have noticed anything. They were still chatting excitedly, asking Wei Wuxian for news and details of his travels, petting Little Apple, and bickering over who would get to look after her while she was there.

Lan Wangji tried to calm his whirling thoughts and racing heart as he watched Wei Wuxian calm the herd and promise to meet them the next day to tell stories and hear theirs in return. Lan Wangji blinked, and realised that this differed from his dream. In the dream they had escorted Little Apple to the rabbit field where she stayed while in Cloud Recesses. Wei Wuxian had told them about his adventures, acting out some parts to the delight of all. It had appeared to be an enjoyable afternoon and Lan Wangji had been looking forward to it.

This time, something had changed. Wei Wuxian tried to shoulder the saddlebags, but they were quickly taken from him by eager hands, with promises that they would be taken to the Jingshi for him.

Then they were alone.

“Well,” Wei Wuxian said. “It’s just us.” He pointed along the path towards the Jingshi. Lan Wangji nodded.

They walked steadily, feet carrying them towards home and Wei Wuxian kept casting small glances at Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji struggled to keep his eyes away from Wei Wuxian in return. Wei Wuxian’s cheeks were still flushed and Lan Wangji wanted to touch them. Could his small gesture at the gates have changed things this much? The change seemed to stem from Wei Wuxian himself; in the dream he had allowed the juniors to carry them along, but today he had made promises for the next day and withdrawn.

Did it indicate that Wei Wuxian wanted to spend time alone with Lan Wangji? Maybe he was just more tired and the dreams were not as reliable a view as he had thought. However, that didn’t fit with what he had observed the previous times with the other small changes he had made. That implied that what he had done was not a small change, but a larger one.

Lan Wangji felt his ears grow red. And what had he done? In a moment of almost panic to do something - anything - in the face of his younger self’s remembered frustration, he had done something that he never had before. He had shown his thrill at Wei Wuxian’s return in words and a physical gesture.

And Wei Wuxian had returned it.

No, Wei Wuxian had not just returned his gesture, he had taken Lan Wangji’s hands. He had returned the gesture and escalated it. And then he had dismissed the juniors to be with only Lan Wangji.

Lan Wangji felt a bloom of hope in his chest so fierce that it almost hurt. If Wei Wuxian chose it, he would spend his whole life with what they already had: intimate friendship, with Wei Wuxian staying with him, living with him, if only part of the time. He had never let himself think that there might be more, but as they walked Lan Wangji’s emotions rioted.

He glanced over at Wei Wuxian again, realising that he was uncharacteristically quiet. His blush had deepened and his eyebrows were more drawn, making him look anxious. Lan Wangji felt a splash of cold in his chest. Was Wei Wuxian regretting his actions? The hope that had been blooming retreated; not gone, but drawing back.

“Uh, Lan Zhan, um. I’m sorry if I -” Wei Wuxian sounded hesitant, then he laughed, a forced sound. Lan Wangji waited for him to continue, dread touching his spine in anticipation. “Ha ha, you know me. I take things too far, make people uncomfortable sometimes.”

Realisation struck Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian was concerned that he had made Lan Wangji uncomfortable with his actions. Lan Wangji almost gasped in relief and affection.

“Wei Ying, you do not make me uncomfortable.” At least, not in the way that Wei Wuxian was indicating. Rather it was the discomfort of heartache, desire and longing. Old, familiar discomforts.

The smile of relief on Wei Wuxian’s face was beautiful. “I’m sure you won’t be saying that in a few weeks.” The easy, teasing grin was back, alongside the jokes about Lan Wangji getting tired of him. Lan Wangji couldn’t think of what to say that would make things clear without saying too much so he stayed silent.

They approached the Jingshi and when Lan Wangji opened the door to let Wei Wuxian in he could see that the saddlebags were there, the juniors having been and gone already. Wei Wuxian picked them up and carted them over to his bed, dropping them on top.

“Ah, you must get so tired of having this bed taking up your space, Lan Zhan. Why don’t you have it taken away when I’m not here?”

While Wei Wuxian pulled out some things from the packs, Lan Wangji took a few moments to consider what he would usually say to Wei Wuxian’s comments, casual as they were. He thought about how changing something had brought them here rather than to the meadow. He thought about how he was sure that he was being clear, but Wei Wuxian never seemed to hear the same things that Lan Wangji actually said. If Wei Wuxian was misinterpreting Lan Wangji’s words, then he would just have to be more explicit.

He had paused long enough that Wei Wuxian had continued to explain how he would be happy to sleep on the floor until it was possible to put the bed back each time, allowing Lan Wangji his use of space when Wei Wuxian wasn’t here. Lan Wangji waited for a break to speak, not interrupting.

“Wei Ying, I like the bed being there.” Wei Wuxian looked up at him. Lan Wangji knew his ears must be the darkest red as he spoke aloud words that made him feel exposed, vulnerable. “It is a reminder that Wei Ying will come back.”

He stopped, unable to say more, and turned away. He walked back into the main area of the Jingshi and seated himself at the table to pour tea, hands using the familiar ritual to calm himself.

Wei Wuxian followed along, quiet and watching Lan Wangji. He sat down too, eyes still on Lan Wangji, who tried not to twitch under the intense gaze.

“Lan Zhan, do you miss me when I’m gone?” Wei Wuxian’s voice was low with no sign of teasing.

Lan Wangji turned to look at Wei Wuxian, incredulous. How could he be asking such a question? Was it not the most obvious fact in the world that he missed Wei Wuxian? That he ached every moment Wei Wuxian was out of his sight?

Wei Wuxian laughed, his face beaming. “Okay, okay, I think that’s clearly a yes.”

“Mn.”

Wei Wuxian’s cheeks were pink again. Lan Wangji turned back to pouring the tea so that he wouldn’t stare at them, imagine kissing them and feeling the heated skin under his lips. When he had poured and placed Wei Wuxian’s cup in front of him, Lan Wangji remembered another way he could tell Wei Wuxian how much he was missed when he was gone. And this would not require words.

Lan Wangji stood up and walked over to the screen through to the back of the Jingshi. He went into the small kitchen and opened the cabinet where he hid the Emperor's Smile. He took two bottles out and brought them back to the table, placing one on top with a wine cup and the other by his side.

Wei Wuxian's face was soft and smiling as he watched Lan Wangji serve the wine. “Ahhhh, Lan Zhan.” He wrapped a hand around the cup, but did not lift it. “You can’t treat me so well.” He laughed and shook his head, eyes lowering to the table. “I’ll start wanting so many things and then you’ll never get rid of me.”

Lan Wangji’s heart fluttered. He knew he could stay silent or say things that he had said before, like reiterating that Wei Wuxian was always welcome. But saying more, being clearer, had brought them to this moment. If he let him, Wei Wuxian would start joking again and the moment could be lost.

“Then I should treat Wei Ying even better.” Lan Wangji felt dizzy with nerves and the implications of what he had said. Wei Wuxian had clearly caught them, too, as his eyes snapped up to meet Lan Wangji’s.

Lan Wangji held the gaze, anxious to not allow Wei Wuxian to misinterpret. To joke away the message Lan Wangji had thought was obvious before: that Wei Wuxian was not just welcome when he came, but greatly anticipated and desired.

Wei Wuxian’s lips parted, then he licked them and swallowed. “Lan Zhan -”

There was a knock on the door and the moment shattered around them. They both looked over at the door. From the cadence, Lan Wangji knew that it was his brother, and never had he been less pleased to have a visit from him.

“Come.”

The door slid open and Lan Xichen’s eyes widened slightly when he saw Wei Wuxian.

“Wei-gongzi, I was not aware that you were back, welcome,” Lan Xichen said. Wei Wuxian stood and bowed, Lan Xichen inclining his head and then coming to join them at the table. Lan Wangji poured some tea for him.

“Sect Leader Lan, I was not aware that you were out of seclusion. It is good to see you.” Wei Wuxian’s words sounded sincere, but Lan Wangji could detect a note of tension. Lan Wangji selfishly hoped that it was because Wei Wuxian, too, was frustrated at their aborted conversation.

“Ah, I am not quite. I am just helping my brother with“ - Lan Xichen looked at Lan Wangji who shook his head very slightly to indicate that he had still not told Wei Wuxian - “a matter he has been dealing with.”

Wei Wuxian turned enquiring eyes on Lan Wangji but, despite Lan Xichen’s efforts to get him to ask for Wei Wuxian support on the matter, Lan Wangji did not yet want to have to explain what was happening. He could also not see a way to explain it that did not involve either lying or not giving Wei Wuxian enough information to be really helpful. And if he left out some information, he knew Wei Wuxian well enough to know that he would needle Lan Wangji to reveal more, which could lead back to Wei Wuxian feeling an obligation to stay.

Lan Wangji shifted the conversation to some sect business instead, and thankfully Lan Xichen followed along. Wei Wuxian narrowed his eyes in suspicion at Lan Wangji, but joined in the discussion anyway.

Lan Wangji was anxious for his brother to leave, although he tried not to let it show. Lan Xichen knew him too well, though, and after one cup of tea he rose to his feet. Lan Wangji walked him to the door, and Lan Xichen asked him a seemingly innocuous question about the pond that brought Lan Wangji out onto the veranda to look.

“Did you dream this?” Lan Xichen asked, voice very low. Lan Wangji shook his head. “Ahhh, so do you think the spell is over?”

“No. Wei Ying’s arrival was the same until I changed something.” Lan Wangji glanced over at the door.

Lan Xichen pursed his lips, clearly aching to ask for more details, but also aware of Wei Wuxian inside. “Tell me later.”

“Mn.”

Lan Xichen left and Lan Wangji went back into the Jingshi. Wei Wuxian looked at him from his seat at the table and Lan Wangji could see the curiosity in his eyes. For a second the moment hung there until Wei Wuxian smiled at him, eyes scrunching.

“Do you want to see my notebook, Lan Zhan?”

Lan Wangji did.

Dinner had just arrived and Wei Wuxian was part-way through a story where some fierce corpses had been troubling a small village near a grave site when there was another knock at the door. It slid aside to reveal Lan Sizhui this time.

“A-Yuan!” Wei Wuxian leapt to his feet. “I didn’t get to see you properly earlier, you ran off.”

Lan Sizhui grinned and leaned into the hug that descended upon him. “I had duties, Wei-qianbei. I told Hanguang-jun that you were here, though.”

Wei Wuxian pulled back and smiled at him. “Then I’ll forgive you for being busy. Come, sit!” Lan Sizhui looked at the food. “Aiiii, I’m sure there’s more than enough for another person to eat, right, Lan Zhan?”

Lan Wangji nodded. “Mn.”

Lan Sizhui beamed and went to get some more chopsticks and a bowl from the kitchen. Then he settled at the table and asked Wei Wuxian about his travels. Wei Wuxian apologised to Lan Wangji for retelling some stories that he had already heard, but Lan Wangji shook his head and smiled.

Honestly, Lan Wangji enjoyed listening to Wei Wuxian talk and, having heard the stories already, he could leave Lan Sizhui to react and ask questions, despite the rule about silence while eating. He got to watch Wei Wuxian and do some thinking.

He thought back to the afternoon, before Lan Xichen had arrived. What had Wei Wuxian been about to say? Part of Lan Wangji tried to feel embarrassed for speaking so plainly, but Wei Wuxian had definitely not seemed unhappy.

For a moment he imagined that Wei Wuxian had been about to tell Lan Wangji that he had gone too far, that he saw Lan Wangji’s desires and was repulsed by them, but the notion would not stick. He had seen the look in Wei Wuxian’s eyes and there was no disgust or distaste. In fact he had been flushed, with eyes sparkling.

He also wondered if Wei Wuxian was sitting closer than usual.

Lan Wangji looked at their arrangement and tried to judge. He himself was sitting the same way that he always did while eating. He was taking up no more space at the table than usual, but still his sleeves seemed to touch Wei Wuxian’s robes far more often. When they reached across the table, their elbows jostled every now and again. When Wei Wuxian leaned on the table to make a point, posture terrible as always, Lan Wangji was sure that he was leaning more closely into Lan Wangji’s space.

The possible explanations made Lan Wangji’s ears burn. Could it be that Wei Wuxian felt the same way about him? If he wanted to stay, and only left because he thought that Lan Wangji wanted him to, then was his own wish to live with Lan Wangji in the Jingshi permanently? The thought was exhilarating. To have Wei Wuxian here all the time, not just for a few weeks or months at a time. Not to have to wait for his return, but to have him here, with Lan Wangji, every evening.

Lan Wangji felt breathless even at the thought. Even if Wei Wuxian never wanted to share his bed… he stopped that line of thought. It was not an appropriate one while Lan Sizhui was with them. But it was hard to school his mind from the possibilities, to tame the flames that one afternoon had fanned.

When the food was gone and the bowls stacked for Lan Sizhui to take away, Lan Wangji poured more wine for Wei Wuxian. Although Lan Sizhui, as most junior, poured the tea, he knew that Lan Wangji preferred to serve Wei Wuxian himself.

Wei Wuxian picked up the cup and smelled it, as though he had not drunk a number of cups already. “A-Yuan, Hanguang-jun is very good to me.”

Lan Sizhui smiled at them both. “Of course.”

“‘Of course’, he says, like having the Chief Cultivator himself pour you wine, against the rules, is just to be expected!” Wei Wuxian leaned on the table again, arm brushing against Lan Wangji’s.

“Who else would he pour wine for?” Lan Sizhui asked. The question carried too many nuanced layers and Lan Wangji glanced at Lan Sizhui, who raised his eyebrows in false innocence.

Wei Wuxian grinned, turning warm eyes on Lan Wangji. “That’s a good question. Who else do you pour wine for, Hanguang-jun?”

Again Lan Wangji knew that he would usually respond to Wei Wuxian’s teasing with scolding or a simple answer. But being more clear and explicit had been eliciting surprising results so Lan Wangji pushed himself to say more.

“Never for anyone else.”

Lan Sizhui laughed, but to Lan Wangji’s surprise Wei Wuxian didn’t. He ducked his head, shaking it.

“Lan Zhan, you can’t do that.” Lan Wangji wondered if he had gone too far, been too honest, but Wei Wuxian continued. “You have to warn me before you say such things, else how can I prepare my poor, weak heart?” Wei Wuxian glanced up at him from under lowered eyelashes and Lan Wangji felt like his whole body lit on fire.

Lan Wangji blinked, his eyes locked with Wei Wuxian’s. He took a steadying breath. “How should I warn Wei Ying?” He certainly wasn’t going to stop saying things that induced this type of reaction. How had he not known that speaking so openly could easily create this?

Wei Wuxian looked back down, smiling but seemingly lost for words.

“Maybe a signal flair in advance?” Lan Sizhui offered. Lan Wangji smiled at him. Lan Sizhui’s eyes were dancing as he watched the interplay between them, and Lan Wangji was put in mind of the first dream, where he heard Lan Sizhui tell Wei Wuxian how much Lan Wangji would miss him.

The suggestion made Wei Wuxian laugh. “Yes!” He sat up and pointed at Lan Wangji. “A signal flare in advance to warn me when you’re going to say such nice things, so that I can prepare myself.”

Lan Wangji shook his head. “It would not work.”

“Why not?” Wei Wuxian tilted his head, amused.

“There are not sufficient signal flares in Gusu.” Lan Wangji said it, knowing it was true now that he knew he could make Wei Wuxian blush so much with just his words.

“Lan Zhaaaaaaaaan.” Wei Wuxian buried his head in his hands and Lan Sizhui hid his laughter behind his sleeve. Lan Wangji smiled smugly.

When Wei Wuxian finally took his face from his hands, he threw a fake glower at Lan Wangji while trying to hide a smile. Lan Wangji smiled back and Wei Wuxian looked away, over at Lan Sizhui.

“We’re changing the subject.”

“Mn,” Lan Wangji allowed.

Lan Sizhui, excellent diplomat that he was, immediately helped Wei Wuxian. “Wei-qianbei, we were surprised to see you back so soon. You usually arrive later in the year than this.” He poured Lan Wangji and himself more tea. “Was there a problem that brought you back?”

It was a perfectly innocent question, one that Lan Wangji himself had been planning to ask Wei Wuxian, but Wei Wuxian’s reaction recalled the dream memories. In those, someone had asked him why he was back earlier than usual, and Wei Wuxian had flushed as he shrugged and explained that it just worked out that way.

Watching the same reaction and the same explanation, Lan Wangji was sure now that it wasn’t true. Something else had brought Wei Wuxian back sooner, and it was something he felt guilty about. Lan Wangji considered what might cause that reaction that would also cause him to blush.

Having seen him flush more in one afternoon than he had ever seen before, Lan Wangji’s mind helpfully supplied a possibility. If Wei Wuxian wanted to be here, wanted to stay, and only left because he thought that was what Lan Wangji wanted, would he not also potentially take an opportunity to come back earlier? And then feel guilty about imposing?

Lan Wangji decided to take a chance on his reasoning and spoke up while Wei Wuxian's lack of explanation was tapering off. “Regardless of the reason, I am happy to have you back so early.”

Lan Sizhui nodded. “We all are.” He glanced at Lan Wangji. “It’s always the happiest day when you come back.”

Wei Wuxian’s colour deepened and travelled down his neck as he put a hand to his face. “Aiiiiii, there was no signal flare first,” he grumbled, trying to hide a smile.

“Mn.”

Lan Wangji didn’t want Wei Wuxian to feel guilty about leaving if that was what he wanted to do, but he had to make sure that it was absolutely what Wei Wuxian wanted. But if Wei Wuxian actually wanted to stay, then he had to know that was preferred.

Lan Sizhui caught Lan Wangji’s eye and smiled broadly. He was plainly very happy with the work they had done this evening and Lan Wangji nodded his approval. Lan Sizhui beamed and then stood up to take his leave.

“Yes, yes, leave now before you make your poor Xian-ge combust.” Wei Wuxian waved a dismissive hand at Lan Sizhui, but when Lan Sizhui picked up the tray of dishes, he reached out to ruffle Lan Sizhui’s hair affectionately.

When Lan Sizhui was gone, Wei Wuxian sighed, leaning back on his hands. “You raised such a good boy, Lan Zhan. I like him so much.”

Lan Wangji allowed a smile, proud. “Mn. You raised him, too.”

“For a year or so.” He waved a dismissive hand. “He was still so tiny.”

“It was important,” Lan Wangji said.

Wei Wuxian hummed, obviously not agreeing but not arguing the point.

Why did you come back early? Lan Wangji almost asked the question, but it was nearing nine and Lan Wangji was tired. He would find it harder to control his responses, and he didn’t want to force his own assumptions onto Wei Wuxian. He would ask tomorrow.

Lan Wangji stood. “Time to sleep.”

Wei Wuxian groaned but stood up, stretching out his spine and arching backwards. Lan Wangji looked away so he wouldn’t stare.

They moved around each other in a well choreographed dance of preparing for bed. Lan Wangji was always surprised at how quickly he adapted to having Wei Wuxian back. Wei Wuxian always stayed up later to read, so Lan Wangji settled into his mattress with the warm illumination of a candle nearby. The low lighting made the Jingshi feel soft, but it was Wei Wuxian being here that made it seem like home.

Lan Wangji surfaced from a dream, the fragments dissipating as the Jingshi reformed around him. He blinked in the darkness, unsure why he had woken, until he heard stuttered, harsh breathing from Wei Wuxian’s bed.

For a split second Lan Wangji thought - hoped - that Wei Wuxian might be touching himself, that Lan Wangji might get to listen. But the sounds were more like sobs.

“Wei Ying?” Lan Wangji wasn’t sure if Wei Wuxian was awake and crying or asleep and dreaming something unpleasant. Wei Wuxian didn’t respond, and the chaotic breathing was joined by a sound of Wei Wuxian moving against sheets.

Lan Wangji stood up, limbs sleep-heavy, and made his way past the draped curtains to Wei Wuxian’s bed. Wei Wuxian was twitching in his sleep, movements that looked like they would be thrashing if he were awake. There were tears in his eyes, though not as many as the quiet sobs would make it seem.

“Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji called his name slightly louder, hoping that and his proximity would wake him, but Wei Wuxian continued to twitch. Lan Wangji reached out a hand and placed it on Wei Wuxian’s shoulder, shaking him once, firmly. “Wei Ying, wake up.”

Wei Wuxian jerked and his hand came up to grip Lan Wangji’s wrist as he withdrew it, holding it tightly. Lan Wangji made no move to stop him, not wanting to agitate Wei Wuxian while he was still just waking.

“Wei Ying, it’s me.”

“Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian’s voice was rough and confused. He blinked at Lan Wangji for a few seconds before he seemed to wake up fully. “Oh.” He let go of Lan Wangji’s wrist. “Sorry, did I wake you?”

“Mn.” Lan Wangji wasn’t going to do Wei Wuxian the disservice of denying it. “You were having a nightmare.”

Wei Wuxian laughed, a fake, horrible sound. “Yeah, it happens. Not as often anymore, but when they come they’re so much worse.” Lan Wangji was sure it wasn’t just the residual sleep making Wei Wuxian’s voice sound so hoarse.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” Lan Wangji offered.

Wei Wuxian shook his head, just visible in the dim light. “No.” He sighed. “Honestly it’s just nice to have you nearby when I wake up. It’s harder when it’s just me.”

The hoarseness hadn’t left Wei Wuxian’s voice. Following an instinct he didn’t really understand himself, Lan Wangji reached out and touched Wei Wuxian’s shoulder again, squeezing, but then letting his hand rest there, fingers touching his hair. Wei Wuxian turned into it, breath hitching. Lan Wangji allowed himself to move his hand and stroke his hair. Wei Wuxian leaned over to rest his shoulder against Lan Wangji’s thigh where he stood next to the bed. Lan Wangji kept stroking and Wei Wuxian’s breathing gradually evened out until he became a heavier weight against Lan Wangji.

“Mmmmm, feels nice.” Wei Wuxian’s voice was sleep-thick, now.

“Mn.” It did feel nice. Lan Wangji felt slightly guilty at how much he was enjoying it.

Wei Wuxian sighed deeply. “I should let you get back to bed, Lan Zhan.” He didn’t move, though, still leaning against Lan Wangji, still allowing Lan Wangji to comfort him. Lan Wangji just wished that they could both fall asleep like this.

The idea occurred and Lan Wangji dismissed it, but when he felt Wei Wuxian twitch against him, an almost imperceptible jerk back awake, he decided to give in to his own desires. The deep blue darkness and the soothing feeling of Wei Wuxian against him made it easier than it would have been in the full light of day.

Lan Wangji leaned forward and gripped each of Wei Wuxian’s shoulders. Wei Wuxian made soft, sleepy sounds that made Lan Wangji’s heart yearn. He tilted Wei Wuxian back down onto the bed and rolled him gently, Wei Wuxian helping with small shifts, until he was lying down, facing away from the edge of the bed. Lan Wangji sat down in the space created and continued to pet Wei Wuxian’s hair and head lightly. Then he took a deep breath and lay down behind Wei Wuxian, on his side, hand continuing to comb through Wei Wuxian’s hair, lifting it gently and then arranging it across Wei Wuxian’s shoulders.

Wei Wuxian gave a quiet, shuddering sigh. “Lan Zhan.” He inched back slightly, closing the gap between their bodies that Lan Wangji had deliberately left, pressing up against Lan Wangji’s chest. Lan Wangji wrapped his arm around Wei Wuxian’s waist and Wei Wuxian’s hands closed over it to hold him there.

“Sleep, Wei Ying. I’m here.” Lan Wangji’s nose was now almost pressed into Wei Wuxian’s hair, and he just stopped himself from pushing his face fully into Wei Wuxian’s neck.

Wei Wuxian made a content humming sound that tapered off into the heavy, long breaths of sleep. Lan Wangji basked in the pure, tangible pleasure of holding Wei Wuxian in his arms. Of feeling Wei Wuxian sleep against him, comfortable and warm. It was an intimacy he had only ever dreamed of, and even though he felt guilt at taking such pleasure from a moment designed to help Wei Wuxian, it could not outweigh the indulgent joy.

Lan Wangji woke slightly disorientated. He was on his side, rather than his back, and there was a warmth pressed all along his front. He blinked a few times until the memory of Wei Wuxian’s nightmare returned. Lan Wangji was stiff, like he hadn’t moved at all, arms still wrapped around Wei Wuxian, who was still deeply asleep, breath heavy.

As he woke, Lan Wangji became aware that a common morning occurrence had become an issue. His cock was pressed up against Wei Wuxian’s backside, hard and insistent. He felt his whole body flush with arousal and shame. Wei Wuxian was asleep and Lan Wangji could not know if Wei Wuxian’s acceptance of affectionate intimacy following a nightmare in any way meant that he desired this in the same way Lan Wangji did. Lan Wangji tilted his hips away, body protesting the loss. Part of him wanted Wei Wuxian to wake up, to push back insistently and make the decision for them both, but he slept on.

Lan Wangji slowly and carefully disentangled himself from Wei Wuxian and climbed out of the bed. He would prefer to stay, to lie there with his arms around Wei Wuxian until he awoke. To find out what he would say. But Lan Wangji had obligations and a routine that was too ingrained.

Later in the day, Lan Wangji came back to the Jingshi with a tray of food for lunch. Wei Wuxian would have found his breakfast left by Lan Wangji in the kitchen, but when Wei Wuxian was here Lan Wangji always made time to come back for lunch with him during the day, unless he had the most urgent of issues to deal with.

Lan Wangji pushed the door to the Jingshi open and Wei Wuxian bounded to his feet from where he had been sitting, talisman paper littered around him.

“Lan Zhan! Here, let me take that.” Wei Wuxian reached out to take the tray, but Lan Wangji shook his head.

“The table, Wei Ying.” He nodded toward it.

“Oh.” Wei Wuxian turned back to it and grinned. “Yeah, sorry. Let me make a space.” He gathered the papers together, with no apparent care for their order. Lan Wangji itched to understand their meaning so he could help Wei Wuxian organise them, but he had the tray to manage.

When the table was more or less clear, Lan Wangji placed the tray down and sat, motioning for Wei Wuxian to join him.

Wei Wuxian sat and leaned over, inhaling deeply. “Mmmm, hungry.”

Lan Wangji served him, feeling bone-deep satisfaction at caring for Wei Wuxian. At seeing him well fed and happy. It was a balm against the memory of thirteen years of mourning to see Wei Wuxian hale and hearty, and a joy he couldn’t express to be the one allowed to look after him.

When his bowl was full, Wei Wuxian reached out for the chilli oil still on the tray and liberally doused his food. Lan Wangji allowed himself a small smile at that, the mere sight of red at the table now a source of pleasure for him, even if he would not eat it himself. It meant Wei Wuxian was with him.

Wei Wuxian made happy noises as he ate, and told Lan Wangji about one of the projects he was working on, a talisman that could be infused into a folded tent to help erect it in a hurry. He explained how he wanted it to be useful in the rain.

Lan Wangji listened: not talking, but not enforcing the rule for Wei Wuxian. It was a compromise he allowed in the Jingshi as he wanted Wei Wuxian to feel at home. There were rules about being a good host, too, and Lan Wangji reasoned that making Wei Wuxian feel comfortable outweighed not talking during meals, as long as Lan Wangji himself obeyed the rule. It felt like another way to care for Wei Wuxian.

When they had finished eating, Wei Wuxian leaned on the table and looked at Lan Wangji, eyes soft. “Lan Zhan.”

Lan Wangji waited for him to continue but he didn’t. “Mn?”

Wei Wuxian smiled. “I slept so well, last night. I usually never sleep after a nightmare.”

Lan Wangji felt his ears going red, whole body tingling despite it being a very simple conversation. “I am glad.”

Wei Wuxian watched him for another few moments, long enough that Lan Wangji wondered if he was going to say anything else, before he spoke.

“I was sad to wake up by myself this morning. It was much nicer when Lan Zhan was there.” Wei Wuxian was still smiling, but it was different from the usual teasing grin.

Remembering the day before and how he had been more honest in his words, Lan Wangji decided to continue today, despite his nerves.

“I was unhappy to leave Wei Ying this morning.”

Wei Wuxian’s eyes widened, smile growing wider, but he also ducked his head, his cheeks pinking. “Lan Zhan! We talked about this yesterday!”

Lan Wangji smiled at the mock outrage. “Wei Ying said it first.”

“Ah ha ha, I guess I did,” Wei Wuxian conceded. “But still, you need to consider my heart. I’m not used to hearing such nice things.”

Lan Wangji hummed, now enjoying the game. “Then surely I must say more, to build up your tolerance?”

Wei Wuxian’s eyes were dancing. “Lan Zhan, don’t you dare.” His expression contradicted his words and it thrilled Lan Wangji to push on.

“Wei Ying must get used to hearing good things about himself from me.” Lan Wangji used a decisive tone. It was something he had thought many times about Wei Wuxian, but never considered saying out loud. But if he could elicit these reactions by doing so, then he would continue. He gathered his nerve. “I must return to my duties but, to help Wei Ying practice, I will tell him that I will regret having to be away from him for so long this afternoon.”

Wei Wuxian made a shocked sound and buried his face in his hands. “Lan Zhaaaaaaan.”

Pleased, Lan Wangji stood up and walked over to the door, leaving the tray for the junior who would be by for it soon. As he opened the door Wei Wuxian called his name and Lan Wangji looked back.

Wei Wuxian had lifted his face from his hands, but still had them up as though he might resume hiding at any moment. “Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said again. “I’ll miss you, too.”

Lan Wangji smiled and left, feeling like he was walking on air.

The evening had passed pleasantly. Their verbal game from lunch had not resumed, but there seemed to be a new spark of awareness between them that made Lan Wangji feel excited and on edge. He remembered sleeping with his arms around Wei Wuxian and ached to do that again, though he would not wish another nightmare on him.

Nothing had been different about their preparations for bed, but Wei Wuxian paused at the bedroom alcove, not moving towards his bed and not saying anything either. Lan Wangji wondered what he was thinking, but continued finishing his own routine.

“Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian was still facing away from him so Lan Wangji hummed to indicate that he was listening. “What if I have another nightmare?”

Lan Wangji froze. Could Wei Wuxian be thinking the same as him? Wanting to share a bed again? He felt his heart start to thud.

“Wei Ying can wake me.” Lan Wangji paused but pushed himself to say more, to be clear. “I would like to help.”

“Yeah.” Wei Wuxian sounded casual, but Lan Wangji thought he could hear a tension underneath. “I don’t want to make you have to get up every time, though.”

Lan Wangji’s first instinct was to demur and tell Wei Wuxian that it wasn’t a bother. He would happily get up every night if it meant he got to take care of Wei Wuxian, to stroke his hair, to hold him close and sleep by his side. But if he was right, and Wei Wuxian actually wanted to share a bed again…

Lan Wangji removed his final layer of robes, folding them carefully despite hands that wanted to shake from the anticipation. “We could make it easier for me to help.”

“Hmmm?” Wei Wuxian still had not turned to face Lan Wangji. Maybe, like him, Wei Wuxian found it easier to discuss such things when not having to meet his eyes.

Lan Wangji was aware that Wei Wuxian was putting him in the position of having to say out loud what they were apparently both thinking. He supposed that was not unreasonable; as much as he wanted Wei Wuxian to think of the Jingshi as his home, at this point Wei Wuxian was still an honoured guest.

Lan Wangji walked towards Wei Wuxian and stood behind him. He felt breathless. “We could share my bed. Then if Wei Ying has a nightmare, I need not get up to offer comfort.”

Wei Wuxian didn’t say anything, but turned, gaze lifting to meet Lan Wangji’s eyes. Lan Wangji expected a smile, but Wei Wuxian looked concerned, like he was searching Lan Wangji’s face for something.

“Lan Zhan, you don’t have to-” He grimaced. “If you would rather not…”

“Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji allowed himself to reach out a hand to touch Wei Wuxian’s shoulder, fingers brushing his hair. “I want to, if you are not uncomfortable.”

A beautiful smile broke out across Wei Wuxian’s face. “I’m never uncomfortable with you, Lan Zhan.”

Lan Wangji desperately wanted to kiss him.

Now that it was apparently settled, Wei Wuxian bounced eagerly to the bed and climbed in. He shuffled himself down into the covers and then patted the bed next to him.

Lan Wangji hesitated for a moment. “Would you not like to read?” Wei Wuxian always stayed up later than Lan Wangji. Though they got in bed at the same time, Wei Wuxian would have a candle burning for hours as he read or drew.

Wei Wuxian shook his head. “Not tonight.”

Lan Wangji nodded and blew out the last candle, then climbed into the bed. He settled into his usual sleeping position, on his back. The bed was wide enough for two, but not so wide that their arms were not touching all along them. Lan Wangji was aware of every inch.

Wei Wuxian lay on his back at first, but then shifted onto his side to face Lan Wangji, his knees pressing against Lan Wangji’s leg.

“Is this okay?” His voice was low and warm.

“Mn.” It was all Lan Wangji could say, because it was far beyond simply okay. Wei Wuxian was in his bed, having angled his way there deliberately, with the implication being that this would be how they slept on an ongoing basis. To help Wei Wuxian with nightmares that he himself had admitted were no longer as common.

Despite being tired, Lan Wangji’s whole body felt on alert, aware of every point that their bodies met. Wei Wuxian was next to him and it would be so easy to just turn and kiss him. To roll him over and press him down into the bed. To do so many things that he had read about and imagined since he was a teenager. But he could not assume Wei Wuxian’s comfort with this, even if his active pursuit of it indicated that he shared Lan Wangji’s other desires.

It took a long time for Lan Wangji to fall asleep.

Lan Wangji woke up feeling warm all along one side. He stirred pleasantly, cobwebs of sleep dissipating and leaving him feeling content. As he woke further he realised that the warmth was from Wei Wuxian, who had rolled slightly during the night and was lying pressed against his side, head on the pillow, leaning against Lan Wangji’s shoulder. Lan Wangji smiled; it was a wonderful way to wake up.

Lan Wangji allowed himself to look at Wei Wuxian for a few minutes. It reminded him of mornings when they had been travelling together, sleeping in inns and the small Lan tents. They had rarely woken up touching though, because Wei Wuxian had always turned away to sleep, telling Lan Wangji that he didn’t want to accidentally disturb him in the night. It had made sense as Wei Wuxian tended to roll onto his stomach once asleep. So when he had chosen to sleep facing Lan Wangji the night before, had he known that his roll would bring him to lie against Lan Wangji?

The smell of Wei Wuxian so close and warm was lovely and confusing. Part of him wanted to gather up Wei Wuxian, wrap him in his arms and hold him in place so that he could never leave. Another part wanted to put him on his back and touch him everywhere, push him into the bed with his weight and fuck him until they both passed out from exhaustion. He had spent most of his life wanting Wei Wuxian, craving his touch, in love with his mind and aching for his body.

Looking at him sleeping now, Lan Wangji felt satisfaction that Wei Wuxian was here with him, but also like a lecher. Would Wei Wuxian climb into his bed if he knew what fantasies Lan Wangji had about him? Or was that why he was there?

Frustrated by his own circular thoughts, Lan Wangji schooled himself to calm. Wei Wuxian was here and, if the dreams could still be believed and the pattern of the previous year was followed, would remain so throughout winter. And in two days of Lan Wangji changing his words slightly they had moved from their usual routine when living together in the Jingshi to Wei Wuxian in his bed, pressed close. He would just have to keep experimenting and see what else would happen.

Lan Wangji shifted to get up but realised that when he did, Wei Wuxian would roll forward. He turned as he rose, using his hands on Wei Wuxian’s shoulders to ease him down onto the bed. Wei Wuxian shifted as he did so, eyelids fluttering slightly but not opening.

“Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian’s voice was deep and full of sleep.

“Mn,” Lan Wangji acknowledged. “Go back to sleep, Wei Ying.”

Wei Wuxian snuggled his face into the pillow where Lan Wangji’s head had been. “Mmmmm, warm.”

Lan Wangji smiled and held himself back from stroking a hand across Wei Wuxian’s cheek, tucking his hair back. The smile stayed with him throughout the morning.

Later, Lan Wangji brought lunch to the Jingshi as normal, only to find that Wei Wuxian was not there. He placed the tray down and saw a hastily scrawled note in Wei Wuxian’s scruffy handwriting.

Have been kidnapped by juniors! We will be in the meadow near the rabbits.

Lan Wangji smiled at the note. There were a few spots at the end, like Wei Wuxian had hesitated over adding more before deciding not to. Lan Wangji wondered what it might have been, before scolding himself for inventing scenarios. He picked up the lunch tray and set out for the meadow.

When Lan Wangji arrived, it was to a sight he had not expected. When Wei Wuxian had said “juniors”, Lan Wangji had expected Lan Sizhui, Lan Jingyi and their peers - the group who had become so enamoured of Wei Wuxian and still sought him out. However, the meadow was filled with Lan juniors, ranging from the oldest ones like Lan Sizhui who could almost not be called junior any more, down to the smallest disciples, ones who had only just donned the headband and started their training. Lan Wangji was sure that this wasn’t a free afternoon, but then he spotted the two teachers who should be overseeing them amongst the various groups.

Everyone was industriously working at something, or helping someone else. Wei Wuxian, dressed in black, was easy to spot; flitting about, talking to some, laughing, pointing things out. Teaching, Lan Wangji realised. Lan Wangji knew that his uncle would not allow Wei Wuxian to lead classes in Cloud Recesses, but it seemed that some of the teachers had found a loophole. If Wei Wuxian was not permitted to come into the classroom to assist, then the students could come to him.

Wei Wuxian had just started a conversation with one of the instructors, who was smiling happily at something one of the students had just done, when he spotted Lan Wangji.

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian waved at him.

The crowd of juniors plus teachers all turned to look at him and then started to perform hasty bows. A number of juniors called his name and some of the smaller ones waved. The two teachers had identical looks of concern until he nodded a greeting to them and both relaxed. Lan Wangji would be the last person to criticise them for bending the rules to spend time with Wei Wuxian.

One of the teachers eyed the tray. “Is it that time already, your excellency?” He turned to call out to the juniors he was supervising, making them gather around. The other did the same, and the varying groups that were dotted around started to break up with intermittent groans.

Wei Wuxian smiled and sauntered over to Lan Wangji, hands tucked behind his back. He stopped, eyes scrunched up from his grin. “Hi.” Lan Wangji nodded to him. Wei Wuxian pointed at the tray. “You brought me lunch here?”

“Mn.”

“Ahhh, Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, you’re too good to me.” Wei Wuxian ducked his head, but glanced up at Lan Wangji through his eyelashes. Lan Wangji felt more flustered by it than he should, considering the juniors still gathering nearby.

Lan Wangji considered telling Wei Wuxian that it was not possible to be ‘too’ good to him, but that seemed like something he had already said. It was direct, but did not acknowledge that he was pretty sure Wei Wuxian was flirting.

He tried a different tack.

“Wei Ying.” He lowered his voice so it would not carry. “Not in front of the juniors.”

Wei Wuxian threw back his head and laughed. Faces turned to stare at him and Lan Wangji allowed himself a small, smug smile at having been the cause of the mirth.

Wei Wuxian stepped closer and placed a hand on Lan Wangji’s arm, still chuckling. “You’re right.” He then leaned in himself to almost whisper. “We’ll wait until they’re gone.” He winked at Lan Wangji and leaned away. Lan Wangji felt his ears burning.

With the groups of juniors having been gathered and counted, each of the teachers started to guide them back to where they would eat lunch. As they passed, the first teacher, with the youngest juniors, directed them to thank Wei Wuxian for his help.

As one, a group of small voices trilled “Thank you, Wei-qianbei!”

Wei Wuxian turned wide eyes to Lan Wangji, face showing distress and clutching his chest theatrically. “Oh, they’re so cute!”

The next group did the same and Wei Wuxian waved at them as they left. It just left the oldest juniors, gathering around Lan Sizhui, who had apparently been in charge of their class today. Lan Sizhui directed them to leave and then each bowed to Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji as they left. Lan Jingyi stayed to wait for Lan Sizhui, of course.

Lan Sizhui bowed to Wei Wuxian. “Thank you so much for agreeing to this today, Wei-qianbei.”

Wei Wuxian waved a hand. “Don’t thank me, it was so much fun I should be thanking you.” Lan Sizhui smiled and Wei Wuxian wrinkled his nose at him. “Go on, go and get your lunch. Mine’s waiting for me.”

Lan Sizhui nodded and he and Lan Jingyi bowed to Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji nodded his head to acknowledge them before they walked off.

Wei Wuxian turned to him. “Do you need a hand with the tray?”

Lan Wangji shook his head and walked over to a bright spot, making the most of the late autumn sun, and placed the tray down. He sat and Wei Wuxian dropped down next to him.

“Teaching is hungry work.” He eyed the food with evident anticipation.

Once they were settled into eating, Wei Wuxian started telling him about the lessons he was doing with the juniors. Lan Wangji kept the no speaking rule himself, but he did hum every now and again to reassure Wei Wuxian that he was still listening.

Lan Wangji finished eating first; Wei Wuxian’s talking always made him slower. When he placed his bowl down, Wei Wuxian shot him a look.

“So, did you sleep well last night, Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian’s tone was light, teasing.

“Mn.”

“For me it was the best sleep I’ve had for as long as I can remember!” Wei Wuxian waved his chopsticks. “So cosy. Lan Zhan there to protect me and keep me warm.” He nudged Lan Wangji with his shoulder. “I slept for so long, I think I’ve caught up on all the sleep that I missed while out on the road. Sleeping under a bush is not the best way to rest.”

“Wei Ying should sleep in inns, not under bushes,” Lan Wangji pointed out. He always gave Wei Wuxian money to try and make sure that he could take care of himself well, even if Lan Wangji wasn’t able to do it for him as he really wanted.

“Yes, but sometimes there are no inns nearby or the inn is too full of-” He stopped and coughed. “Or the bush is handy and nearby.”

Lan Wangji wondered what Wei Wuxian had been going to say, then realised that it was likely that the inns may have had too many people still angry at the Yiling Patriarch. Lan Wangji pursed his lips, wanting nothing more than to go around to every home in the country to lecture each family about how wrong they were.

He took a deep breath. It didn't matter. Most knew the truth now, and the stories of Lan Wangji being Chief Cultivator and helping the Yiling Patriarch to uncover Jin Guangyao’s crimes were gaining ground.

Lan Wangji allowed Wei Wuxian to change the subject to some stories from when he was travelling. Wei Wuxian was here now, and would be sleeping warm and cared for in Lan Wangji’s bed. No bushes, no angry strangers. And maybe the small changes he was making would help Wei Wuxian see that, if he wanted, he could stay and make this his home.

Days passed and Wei Wuxian sharing his bed became the new normal. The first few nights, Wei Wuxian still checked with Lan Wangji that it was okay, especially because, after the first night, he continued to stay up later than Lan Wangji. He offered to read in the other bed until he was ready to sleep and then come and join Lan Wangji, but Lan Wangji knew him too well. He would not want to disturb Lan Wangji and would sleep in the other bed anyway, undoing the progress that they had made.

“Would you prefer to stay in the other bed?” Lan Wangji asked the question just in case Wei Wuxian had changed his mind and was using the reading excuse to politely withdraw.

Wei Wuxian had shook his head vehemently. “Ah, ah, no, no, it’s just...” Wei Wuxian had watched Lan Wangji for a moment. “I, ah, I don’t want to cause trouble for you, Lan Zhan.”

Lan Wangji had considered again saying that it was fine, but his reassurances of that had apparently not been enough, so Lan Wangji again decided to be direct and clear.

“It is never trouble for me to have Wei Ying so near,” he said.

Lan Wangji was starting to enjoy the nuances of reassuring Wei Wuxian that he was wanted, without making a direct request on his own behalf that Wei Wuxian would then fulfill regardless of his own preferences.

Wei Wuxian had stuttered, apparently speechless, but when Lan Wangji had lit a candle for him to read by, Wei Wuxian had grinned and cheerfully settled himself in the bed.

After a few nights, Wei Wuxian had stopped questioning if Lan Wangji was still okay with the arrangement and it became routine. Lan Wangji delighted in falling asleep listening to the rustle of paper and feeling the warmth of Wei Wuxian at his side. Lan Wangji didn’t always wake when Wei Wuxian blew out the candle, but when he did he would hear a quietly whispered “Night, Lan Zhan”, regardless of if Wei Wuxian knew he had stirred. It made him feel cared for. It made him feel loved.

On the morning of the eighth day after Wei Wuxian had first joined him to sleep in his bed, Lan Wangji looked at Wei Wuxian’s bed as he dressed. His eyes were drawn to it every morning, neat and unslept in. There was no longer any hesitation at night; Wei Wuxian slept in his bed, now. It was expected.

If Wei Wuxian was sleeping in his bed, a second one was not required. It only took up space. He could put back some storage chests, give them to Wei Wuxian so that he could be very clear that the Jingshi was Wei Wuxian’s home, too.

The thought made Lan Wangji feel on edge. It was forward, but was it too forward? Would it make Wei Wuxian feel obliged to stay? Or could removing the bed imply that he was no longer welcome in the Jingshi, that there was no place for him?

As he drew on his outer robes, he rejected the idea. Wei Wuxian had called it “our bed” the day before, so he knew there was a bed for him. And making it even clearer that Wei Wuxian was welcome, giving him his own spaces, was not the same as forcing him to stay. It felt like an extension of the direct, honest behaviour that he was allowing himself.

Lan Wangji worked on his hair and considered the bed. He recalled the dreams of Wei Wuxian leaving the Cloud Recesses. Every time he had seen the Jingshi in the dreams, on the days that Wei Wuxian was leaving, the second bed was there and clearly slept in. If he removed the bed, it would be the first time he had changed something so deliberately and completely. How would that affect the magic that had shown him the future?

He finished his hair and glanced over at Wei Wuxian, still deeply asleep. Making small changes in his behaviour had brought them here, to a point where Lan Wangji got to wake up every morning with Wei Wuxian curled close into his side.

When he left the Jingshi, he found an attendant and asked them to remove the second bed that day and put the furniture in storage back in place.

That evening Lan Wangji returned and the change was immediately noticeable. The bedroom alcove seemed much emptier, even with the other furniture back. Lan Wangji had been anticipating Wei Wuxian asking him about the bed. He had considered many responses throughout the day, ranging from oblique to direct, but when he arrived home Wei Wuxian didn’t mention it at all. He talked about his day, but nothing about the change to the Jingshi. Lan Wangji initially wondered if Wei Wuxian had even noticed, but as they ate he saw Wei Wuxian’s eyes cut across to the bedroom and back a number of times.

When they finished, Lan Wangji deliberately stood up and gathered some of Wei Wuxian’s belongings that had been stored under the bed and placed aside when it was removed. There were Wei Wuxian’s packs, notebooks, papers, all things that he would not mix with Lan Wangji’s for fear of “messing up Hanguang-jun’s careful system”. He gathered them and distributed them about the new furniture, some in the chests, some on shelves. Everything had a home, a place to belong.

Wei Wuxian sat at the table and watched him, saying nothing. Lan Wangji was then left with Wei Wuxian’s robes. Lan Wangji always offered to put them away with his own, but Wei Wuxian claimed that he was fine keeping them stored under the bed. Lan Wangji carried them over to his cupboard, folding them neatly and placing them inside. Seeing the black and red so sharply contrasting with his own robes made something warm settle in his chest and he smiled to see it. Wei Wuxian belonged here. Even if he left again, when he came back the Jingshi would be his home and his things would belong here with him.

Lan Wangji turned back to the table, anticipating that now Wei Wuxian would say something, but Wei Wuxian still just watched him, sipping wine. Lan Wangji came back and sat down, hands folded in his lap, one holding the other.

Finally Wei Wuxian spoke. “Do you want to play some music this evening, Lan Zhan?”

Lan Wangji agreed.

Later, they climbed into bed as usual. Wei Wuxian still had not said anything about the bed, but when Lan Wangji settled on his back to sleep, Wei Wuxian blew out the candle instead of reading.

In the darkness, Lan Wangji heard Wei Wuxian turning towards him and felt him getting comfortable.

“This really is okay.” It wasn’t a question.

“Mn.”

Lan Wangji hoped that Wei Wuxian understood that he wasn’t just talking about their sleeping arrangements.

There was silence for a few moments and Lan Wangji wondered if that really was all that Wei Wuxian would say on the matter. He was not used to Wei Wuxian being reticent to speak his mind and hoped that it wasn’t a bad sign.

A gentle touch on his chest from Wei Wuxian brought Lan Wangji out of his reverie, “Lan Zhan.” Lan Wangji hummed and Wei Wuxian shifted to lean in and lay his arm across Lan Wangji’s chest, squeezing. “Is this okay, too?”

Lan Wangji answered by slipping his own arm around Wei Wuxian and tugging him closer so he was pressed tight against Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian’s weight was warm and comforting. Lan Wangji felt like his whole heart was open and spilling his love out in waves for all to see. He could almost cry from yearnings fulfilled. Wei Wuxian was in his arms, in his bed. Surely it was greed to not be content with this, to want even more.

Wei Wuxian settled his head on Lan Wangji’s shoulder and sighed. Lan Wangji closed his eyes against the dark. “Good night, Wei Ying.”

“Night, Lan Zhan. Sleep well.” Wei Wuxian sighed again, a contented sound. His breathing, hot and close, lulled Lan Wangji down into sleep.

Lan Wangji woke up the happiest he had been in his entire life. Even the day after Wei Wuxian had been returned to him had not been this wonderful, due to the lingering terror that it might all be imagined and he would wake to find Wei Wuxian gone again.

Wei Wuxian seemed not to have moved at all in the night, except to have shifted his head from Lan Wangji’s shoulder to his chest, burrowing closer. He also had a leg draped over Lan Wangji’s thigh. They were cocooned together, warm bodies and blankets creating a comfortable heat, perfect in the cool morning. Lan Wangji couldn’t help tightening the arm he had around Wei Wuxian, hand flat against his hip.

Wei Wuxian stirred, turning his nose into Lan Wangji’s chest and making small sounds. Lan Wangji thought he might expire from overwhelming affection. Wei Wuxian stilled, and Lan Wangji knew that he should get up. The chill of the morning Jingshi was doubly unwelcome, though, when he had free rein to cuddle up with Wei Wuxian as an alternative.

Finally Lan Wangji convinced himself to rise, and started to pull his arm back from around Wei Wuxian, but he stirred again.

“Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian’s voice was rough and muffled against Lan Wangji’s chest.

Lan Wangji stroked a hand down Wei Wuxian’s back. “Go back to sleep, Wei Ying.” He shifted again, but Wei Wuxian gripped his sleep shirt and made a noise of complaint.

“How can I sleep if Lan Zhan isn’t here to hold me?” Lan Wangji could hear the false whine in Wei Wuxian’s voice and huffed a laugh. Wei Wuxian lifted his head to rest his chin on Lan Wangji’s chest, opening his eyes to meet Lan Wangji’s. “It’s too early.”

Lan Wangji blinked and smiled at him, full of fond tenderness. “It is past five. Time to get up.”

Wei Wuxian pulled a face. “Urgh, too early.” He sighed. “Why am I even awake?” He turned his head again to rest it on Lan Wangji’s chest, clinging tightly. “Let’s go back to sleep.”

Lan Wangji allowed himself a moment to grasp Wei Wuxian back, just as tight. Wei Wuxian made a pleased sound and turned his face to press his nose and lips against Lan Wangji’s chest.

“Mmmmm, Hanguang-jun smells so good.” Lan Wangji could feel Wei Wuxian’s lips moving, even through his layered shirt. It made his skin tingle and his cock, half-hard from the morning and Wei Wuxian so close, twitched in response and grew harder.

He lowered his head to press his own nose and lips to the top of Wei Wuxian’s head and inhaled. The familiar smell of Wei Wuxian both settled him and further fanned the fire raging under his skin.

“Wei Ying smells good, too.” Lan Wangji smiled as Wei Wuxian ducked his pink cheeks away.

“Lan Zhan,” he complained. “Stop being awake and making me blush. It’s time for sleeping.”

Lan Wangji shook his head with fondness. “It is time to get up. Wei Ying is awake because he went to sleep at the proper hour last night.”

“Oh no, that’s true.” Wei Wuxian again lifted his head to rest his chin on Lan Wangji’s chest and looked up at him. With Lan Wangji’s head tipped to Wei Wuxian’s hair, though, it brought their faces very close together. Lan Wangji fought the automatic urge to jerk back. It felt too much to remain so close, but he focused on meeting Wei Wuxian’s gaze. Wei Wuxian’s breath caught, but he continued, “It’s too early. It’s still dark. No one should be out of bed while it’s still dark.”

Lan Wangji couldn’t help his eyes dropping to Wei Wuxian’s mouth. His lips were so close and as he glanced down at them they parted slightly. Lan Wangji dragged his eyes back up and licked his own lips, catching Wei Wuxian as his eyes flickered down to catch it.

Lan Wangji was burning with his desire to kiss him. He was more and more sure that Wei Wuxian wanted him in return, and only that last fragment of doubt that he could be wrong held him back. As they watched each other, Wei Wuxian shifted his leg where it lay over Lan Wangji’s thigh. It lifted and brushed against Lan Wangji cock, now aching hard. Lan Wangji’s lips parted in dazzling arousal, but also in sudden panicked shame and need to apologise to Wei Wuxian.

Before he could speak, though, Wei Wuxian let out a quiet ‘Lan Zhan’ and rolled his own hips against Lan Wangji’s side, pressing his equally hard cock into Lan Wangji’s thigh.

Lan Wangji’s eyes bored into Wei Wuxian’s, who stared back. “Lan Zhan, will you kiss me?”

Lan Wangji felt like all breath was gone from his body as he leaned down the last few inches to touch his lips to Wei Wuxian’s. As he did, Wei Wuxian released a punched-out breath, lips parting. Lan Wangji took the opportunity to press closer, delighting at how Wei Wuxian immediately met his tongue with his own.

The kiss deepened and Lan Wangji tugged on Wei Wuxian until he was on top of him. Wei Wuxian rocked his hips down against Lan Wangji’s and they both gasped. Here was the final confirmation Lan Wangji had been needing. It wasn’t just his own, selfish needs that he was projecting onto Wei Wuxian. This was something shared between them, hot and desperate.

They kissed and kissed, urgently, lips needy and hips surging together. Lan Wangji let his hands find their way under Wei Wuxian’s sleep clothes, one sliding up his back, pushing the shirt ahead of him. The other pushed down, slipping under the tie of Wei Wuxian’s trousers and finding the fullness of his backside, using the position as leverage to pull them closer.

Lan Wangji kept thinking this is Wei Ying and every time it made him gasp out Wei Wuxian’s name and roll his hips harder. Lan Wangji could feel the tension building and let it come. He knew he could halt things, or move to slip his hand into the front of Wei Wuxian’s trousers, untying them and taking Wei Wuxian in his hand as he had longed to do since they were teenagers. But the feeling was too good; Wei Wuxian on top of him, unrelenting and panting out a pleasure that caused Lan Wangji’s to redouble.

There was a knock on the door.

The sound startled them both and Wei Wuxian lifted his head, pulling out of the kiss and staring towards the door, not quite visible beyond the lowered sleep curtain. Their hips stilled and Lan Wangji wanted to groan at the sudden halt of the build to an orgasm that had been agonisingly close. Wei Wuxian glanced back at him and Lan Wangji decided that whoever was at the door could wait because he was absolutely about to start kissing Wei Wuxian again.

“Hanguang-jun?” Lan Sizhui’s voice carried into the Jingshi.

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian looked at each other with wide eyes. Wei Wuxian covered his mouth with his hand and stifled a horrified laugh. “Oh my god, Lan Zhan.”

The knock and call of his name came again. This time Lan Sizhui sounded more anxious. Lan Wangji closed his eyes and sighed. Wei Wuxian rolled off him and buried his face into the pillow, still laughing. Lan Wangji climbed out of the bed and padded over towards the door, hand hiding his crotch in some automatic attempt to lessen the almost comical image he must make, clothes rumpled and cock hard.

He approached the door, but did not open it. “What is it, Sizhui?”

“Oh!” Lan Sizhui sounded relieved, “Hanguang-jun, I’m sorry, I was passing and didn’t see your lights on yet. I was worried you might be unwell.”

Lan Wangji sighed. Lan Sizhui would often feed the rabbits, and once he had moved out and into the juniors’ quarters he had developed a habit of taking the long route back, past the Jingshi, to visit or ask if Lan Wangji needed anything. Lan Wangji had not known that this was something he did so early. He would possibly have to dissuade the practice when Wei Wuxian was staying. The thought made him feel giddy and licentious.

“Thank you. I am fine.” He glanced over at Wei Wuxian, who had stopped laughing, but was watching him with mirth in his dancing eyes and a smile on his face. “I simply was slower to get up this morning.” It was not untrue, for certain definitions of ‘up’.

“Okay.” Lan Sizhui still sounded a little uncertain, doubtless now coming up with theories as to why Lan Wangji had not opened the door. “Um. Do you want me to delay your first meeting?”

Lan Wangji closed his eyes. His first meeting was with his uncle, who already thought that Wei Wuxian was a bad influence on him. Lan Wangji didn’t want to give him any more reasons. “No, I will be there.”

“Okay. Um. Bye.” Lan Sizhui's voice had a hint of humour in it and Lan Wangji considered that he might not need to dissuade him from coming past so early again.

He heard Lan Sizhui leaving and turned back to Wei Wuxian, who flopped back onto the bed and groaned in frustration.

Lan Wangji returned to the bed and Wei Wuxian looked up at him from his spreadeagle. “At least kiss me goodbye so I’ve got something to look forward to when you’re back.”

The last small vestige of concern he had, that this might just have been a fleeting morning dalliance for Wei Wuxian, dissipated and Lan Wangji smiled. He leaned down to kiss Wei Wuxian, slow and deep, full of promise.

Lan Wangji carried the lunch tray to the Jingshi, feeling sharp tingles of anticipation at the thought of seeing Wei Wuxian. Of kissing him again. He had been distracted throughout most of the morning, only able to keep up with the discussions because of people’s tendency to repeat themselves. He kept thinking back to Wei Wuxian’s weight on top of him, his lips, their hips rocking together. How hard Wei Wuxian had been.

Lan Wangji had vague plans to kiss Wei Wuxian as soon as the tray was placed down. He thought that they might run the risk of running out of time before eating, but Wei Wuxian would be able to eat after Lan Wangji had to leave to go back. Lan Wangji could manage an afternoon with no lunch if it meant he was able to kiss Wei Wuxian thoroughly.

As Lan Wangji approached the Jingshi, he began to suspect that Wei Wuxian wasn’t there. It seemed too quiet. He opened the door, but the Jingshi was empty. Lan Wangji felt a profound disappointment and almost laughed at himself for it. He suspected he knew where Wei Wuxian would be and, sure enough, there was another scrawled note.

Stolen away by juniors again! You know where. Come and find me.

Lan Wangji’s disappointment mixed with a pleased satisfaction that Wei Wuxian’s abilities were being recognised by more than him. That the teachers had taken his lack of comment the previous time as the approval it was.

Lan Wangji made his way to the meadow again, buzzing with excitement to see Wei Wuxian. As he approached he could hear a general hum, then a louder noise, followed by cheering. As he rounded into view, Lan Wangji could easily pick out Wei Wuxian’s black robes. He was surrounded by juniors who seemed to be delighted with something Wei Wuxian had just done.

Seeing so many people interacting with Wei Wuxian brought a sharp, bitter taste to Lan Wangji’s mouth. He didn’t want them there. He wanted Wei Wuxian to himself, for it just to be the two of them. He wanted to kiss Wei Wuxian again, to taste him and smell him and hear him make those soft noises. The feelings threatened to overwhelm him.

Lan Wangji stopped and closed his eyes. He breathed deeply through his nose and released it, trying to blow the resentment and jealousy out with it. This was what he should not do. He would not become his father and Wei Wuxian his mother, trapped by a man who could not bring himself to lose what he could not keep by choice alone. No matter what, Wei Wuxian would always have the option to leave. Though it would break Lan Wangji’s heart every time to watch him go, the alternative was too agonising to contemplate.

Lan Wangji breathed deeply again and allowed the bitterness to flow away. If Wei Wuxian chose to stay, then he would cherish it and be thankful for every moment. But he would not let that restless sadness that surrounded so many of his memories of his mother ever be seen in Wei Wuxian’s eyes. And he would not let his petty jealousy stop other people from spending time with Wei Wuxian. Could he blame them for wanting to?

There was a deep, sour part of him that almost preferred when everyone hated Wei Wuxian, when Lan Wangji had him to himself. But those thoughts were shameful; he pushed them down. Regardless, the predominant part of him delighted in seeing people appreciate the Wei Wuxian that Lan Wangji knew him. Wei Wuxian was a flame and people were drawn to him. Lan Wangji was drawn to him. But his feelings about it were not important; if Wei Wuxian chose to spend time only with others for the rest of his life, Lan Wangji would just be thankful that he had been able to enjoy any time they had.

He started to walk forward again.

Lan Wangji was quickly stopped and at Wei Wuxian’s happy “Lan Zhan!” he smiled, but he didn’t stand to interact with the others this time. While the teachers rounded up their students, Lan Wangji made his way to the place they had sat for lunch last time. He knew he should wait until they were gone, but he didn’t want his disappointment at not getting Wei Wuxian alone in the Jingshi to colour his interactions and send the wrong message about his approval for these sessions continuing.

He sat down and arranged himself comfortably to wait. Everyone bowed to him as they left and Lan Wangji acknowledged them all. Lan Sizhui smiled as he bowed and left.

When everyone was finally out of sight, Wei Wuxian came and flopped down next to Lan Wangji. “Phew, just us.” He grinned at Lan Wangji, and suddenly Lan Wangji knew that it didn’t matter that they were not in the Jingshi. He would kiss Wei Wuxian as he wanted, here, regardless of the fact that anyone could turn up at any time. Let them come, let them see that Wei Wuxian was here, with him. That Lan Wangji belonged to Wei Wuxian and possibly, maybe, hopefully, Wei Wuxian wanted to belong to Lan Wangji in return. Let everyone see.

Lan Wangji leaned in and Wei Wuxian met him part way. Lan Wangji had thought that their kisses would start slow again, but the moment they touched he felt like floodgates had been opened. He wanted everything, he wanted it now. He deepened the kiss, tilting Wei Wuxian’s head to improve the angle. Wei Wuxian pushed back into him just as readily, making breathy sounds every time their lips separated.

Lan Wangji leaned in and Wei Wuxian leaned back, pulling Lan Wangji with him. They toppled until they were lying on the ground, Lan Wangji holding himself over Wei Wuxian, while Wei Wuxian wrapped his arms around Lan Wangji’s back and tugged him closer.

He rolled further, pushing Wei Wuxian down and pressing his weight on top of him. Wei Wuxian made a sound deep in his throat and shifted so that his legs spread and Lan Wangji slipped between his thighs. Lan Wangji felt his thoughts stutter at the blatant invitation, the complete shamelessness of Wei Wuxian’s reactions, and wanted nothing more than to take what was being offered.

He pressed his pelvis down and was met by an answering roll from Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji gasped and reached down to grip Wei Wuxian’s hip, using the leverage to move in concert. He had spent so much of his life wanting this. Wanting Wei Wuxian spread out beneath him, aching and desperate for Lan Wangji. The reality was so much more than he had imagined, even while he wanted to be outside his own body, watching, so that he could believe that it was really happening.

As the thought occurred to him, Lan Wangji imagined what would have happened if his younger self had dreamt about this. It would doubtless have just blended into the countless other dreams he had woken from, panting and full of need. Each memory seemed to flood into him and Lan Wangji started to gasp, breaking from the kiss, but still pressing his mouth to Wei Wuxian’s.

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian’s voice sounded rough and desperate. “We have to stop.” He kissed Lan Wangji again, but gripped his hips with his knees to stop them moving. Lan Wangji felt a desperate frustration. Stop? He never wanted to stop. He wanted to hold onto this feeling forever, to bottle it and bathe in it. How could he stop?

Wei Wuxian chuckled and kissed Lan Wangji’s cheeks, his eyelids, his nose. “Lan Zhan, how are you so beautiful like this? Look at you.” Lan Wangji met his eyes and Wei Wuxian’s face looked at him in awe. “Look at you.” He stroked down the side of Lan Wangji’s face. “You really want me, don’t you. You really do.”

“Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji’s tone was plaintive. “I want you so much.” The confession was so stark, so honest, but was it any more candid than his body had already been?

Wei Wuxian shook his head. “I can’t believe it.” He took Lan Wangji’s face in his hands, eyes roaming. “How can I be so lucky? To have the great Hanguang-jun, one of the peerless Twin Jades, Lan Wangji, the most beautiful Lan Zhan, want me so much that he’ll risk being caught with me in a field?” Wei Wuxian laughed, incredulous.”To risk having to go back to his meeting with robes spoiled by what we’ve done together?”

Lan Wangji shook his head. “Wei Ying, I am the one who is lucky.” How could Wei Wuxian not see it?

Wei Wuxian snatched a breath. “Oh.” He looked at Lan Wangji for a long moment, thumbs stroking across his jaw. "You really mean that, don’t you.”

Lan Wangji didn’t answer. Instead, he leaned in again and kissed Wei Wuxian with all the tender, desperate love that he felt for him. He felt light-headed with the confession. Wei Wuxian kissed him back, opening so beautifully to him.

They kissed like that for a few moments, soft and gentle, but the heat between them was still there, and Lan Wangji could still feel how hard Wei Wuxian was against him. Lan Wangji shifted his hips a fraction and Wei Wuxian broke off the kiss again, laughing low and rich. Lan Wangji pressed his mouth to Wei Wuxian’s throat.

“We can’t start that again, Lan Zhan.” Lan Wangji made a sound of disagreement and Wei Wuxian laughed again, wrapping his arms around Lan Wangji’s shoulders. “Who knew that the righteous Hanguang-jun was so shameless and insatiable? I wish I’d known when we were younger, I would have taken full advantage.”

Lan Wangji scrunched his eyes shut and tried not to let the ache of those words build into frustrations. He had lost too many years to turning over so many ‘what ifs’. But now it didn’t matter, Wei Wuxian was here. He kissed his throat again, delighting in the small sound that seemed to escape Wei Wuxian’s lips entirely unbidden. He did it again. Wei Wuxian let him do it a third time before he used his hands on Lan Wangji’s shoulders to push him away. Lan Wangji pulled back to meet Wei Wuxian’s smiling face.

“Lan Zhan, you have a meeting. You’re probably already late. Someone will be looking for you and soon one of the juniors will be asked and tell them where you are.” He raised his eyebrows. “Do you really want to be caught lying between the legs of the Yiling Patriarch?” Wei Wuxian’s tone at the end was amused and arch, as though the answer was a foregone conclusion.

“Yes,” Lan Wangji said, but he didn’t push his way back down to kiss Wei Wuxian. “Let them know.”

Lan Wangji thought his response might make Wei Wuxian laugh again, but instead his eyes went warm and adoring. “Oh, Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian brought a hand round to cup his face again. “I like you so much.”

Lan Wangji smiled and closed his eyes, feeling like he couldn’t contain all of his emotions inside his body. When he felt Wei Wuxian’s gentle kiss against his forehead he felt like his body swelled with love until he might burst with it. He couldn’t even form words, just lying there in the cradle of Wei Wuxian’s thighs, overflowing.

Eventually Wei Wuxian shifted and moved them until they were both sitting upright again, though he kept his legs pressed close to Lan Wangji’s. Then he motioned towards the food.

“You should eat.”

Lan Wangji shook his head. “No time.” There really would be someone coming for him soon. He tried to breathe deeply and regain his composure. “Wei Ying should eat it.”

Wei Wuxian frowned. “I can’t eat it all, there’s too much.” He thrust a couple of steamed buns into Lan Wangji’s hands. “Take these with you. I’ll eat and then take the tray back.”

Lan Wangji accepted the buns. “I will send a junior for the tray.” He took a bite from one. It woke his appetite and helped his attempts to redirect his thoughts from the idea of simply refusing to go to the meeting and taking Wei Wuxian back to the Jingshi. It would be fine. He would conduct the hearing and then Wei Wuxian would be waiting for him at home. This time they would not be in public and there would be no interruptions.

He pulled his thoughts away so he didn’t undo all of the work to calm down.

They both heard the rapid footsteps on the path at the same time and exchanged a look. Lan Wangji allowed himself a small sigh as a disciple rounded into view and seemed to gasp in relief. He approached rapidly and bowed.

“Hanguang-jun, apologies, but the delegation for your meeting is in place and waiting.” The disciple held the bow, eyes lowered.

“Mn.”

The disciple nodded in acknowledgement, lifting out of the bow but still waiting, evidently planning to escort him to the conference. Lan Wangji stood up and looked back down at Wei Wuxian, who had a small smile on his face, watching. Lan Wangji leaned over and lifted Wei Wuxian’s chin with his fingers. Wei Wuxian allowed it; Lan Wangji leaned further to bring their lips together, to kiss Wei Wuxian goodbye as he wanted to. Wei Wuxian’s eyelids fluttered closed and Lan Wangji kissed him once more before standing again.

Lan Wangji turned back towards the disciple, who had his eyes turned politely away and had a blush high on his cheekbones. Lan Wangji didn’t care; he wanted his sect to know how important Wei Wuxian was to him and in what way. He wanted Wei Wuxian to know, too.

Gossiping was forbidden, but Lan Wangji was sure that by sundown half of the disciples would know that Lan Wangji had been kissing Wei Wuxian in the meadow with the rabbits. He smiled as they walked down the hill.

Lan Wangji felt like a teenager again as he sat through the meeting. He remembered so clearly sitting in lessons with Wei Wuxian only feet away, teasing and restless. All of Lan Wangji's vaunted power to focus and devote himself to his studies had been shattered by that beautiful, breathtaking, chaotic boy. His sudden attraction and fascination with Wei Wuxian had confused and frustrated him, leaking out of him as resentment and anger.

Lan Wangji almost smiled to remember his past self, so bitter when Wei Wuxian spent time with others, yet terrified of admitting how he really felt. The only bitterness he felt now was at the meeting that seemed to stretch out, interminable, delaying his return to the space between Wei Wuxian’s thighs.

He felt his ears grow hot and again scolded himself for allowing his mind to wander. He might feel as giddy as a teenager, but he was not one. He had more self control than he had at fifteen. He made himself apply it.

When the meeting finally ended and the delegation rose to bow and leave, it felt sudden. He had been waiting, desperate to go, and now he was free and he could. He took a breath. Would Wei Wuxian be waiting for him? Sometimes he would take himself off to the springs or take Wen Ning into Caiyi with Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi. Surely not this evening, though.

Lan Wangji asked one of the attendants to advise the kitchen that no evening meal was to be delivered to the Jingshi. He did not want interruptions again, and he could cook a simple meal for him and Wei Wuxian in his small kitchen.

He finally stood, unaccountably nervous, but determined, and started the walk back to the Jingshi.

Something about the walk reminded Lan Wangji of his first dream. He noted again the things that were changed from his youth. They had put so much effort into rebuilding Cloud Recesses the way it had been, but his eye alighted afresh on the small differences that had, of course, slipped in. He tracked them with his eyes, as though he was fifteen again and seeing it with confused eyes. But this time, when he reached the Jingshi, there would be no alternative version of himself there. Just Wei Wuxian, waiting for him.

The walk back had never felt so long, and yet somehow he was already reaching out to slide open the Jingshi door. He paused, eyes on Wei Wuxian sitting at the table. Wei Wuxian had clearly been working on some talismans - the evidence was strewn about - but when he saw Lan Wangji, his eyes widened and he jerked to his feet immediately.

Lan Wangji closed the door behind him and locked it, taking no chances. He walked forwards and Wei Wuxian was in his arms. Lan Wangji sighed a relief as their lips touched, immediately rough and urgent.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian murmured between kisses, lips moving against Lan Wangji’s. “I can’t believe how long I had to wait.”

Lan Wangji considered continuing his honesty and telling Wei Wuxian that Lan Wangji had been waiting for him for two decades, but with Wei Wuxian pressed against him, arms around his shoulders, there seemed no need. He wrapped his arms more tightly around Wei Wuxian’s waist and back, holding him and kissing him until he felt breathless with it.

The kiss broke, both of them panting, and Lan Wangji tipped Wei Wuxian’s face towards him, touching their foreheads together.

“Wei Ying.” He ran his hands down either side of Wei Wuxian’s neck, across his shoulders and then down his back to wrap around his waist again. “You’re here.”

Wei Wuxian huffed a laugh. “Yeah, Lan Zhan. I’m here. I’m here.”

They kissed again, slower this time, but more intense, more focused. Lan Wangji started leading them across the room between kisses, angling them towards the bed. He wanted to be lying down with Wei Wuxian again, to press him into the bed, but Wei Wuxian stopped them before they reached it.

“Wait.” Lan Wangji had a momentary pang of concern that Wei Wuxian might be changing his mind, but Wei Wuxian reached up for Lan Wangji’s hairpiece. “Let’s make you more comfortable first, hmmm?”

Lan Wangji didn’t actually care about his own comfort at that moment, but he nodded and dipped his head to allow Wei Wuxian to unpin the ornamentation. It would make things easier if he didn’t have to worry about laying his head down while they… he didn’t finish the thought, too many options crowding into his imagination.

Wei Wuxian carefully put the hairpiece aside on a nearby bookcase, but when Lan Wangji went to gather him into his arms again, Wei Wuxian made a sound of disagreement and instead reached down to Lan Wangji’s belt. As he unfastened it, Lan Wangji looked up at him. Wei Wuxian’s eyes were focused, but he seemed aware of Lan Wangji’s gaze.

“You’ll be more comfortable without so many layers, Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian grinned. “And I won’t be quite so worried about ruining your beautiful robes.”

Lan Wangji wanted to say that it didn’t matter, that he would gladly ruin the robes, even throw them away, if it meant getting to do this with Wei Wuxian. But Wei Wuxian was so attentive, carefully removing his diaphanous outer layers like they were precious. Like Lan Wangji was precious. Wei Wuxian leaned in between each stage, kissing him until they were breathing heavily again, clutching at each other, then pulling back to continue. Lan Wangji was incandescent with want.

Finally Wei Wuxian tilted his head as he slipped the final outer robe off, leaving Lan Wangji in just his under-tunic wrap and trousers. His eyes met Lan Wangji’s and a smile lit his whole face. “Unwrapping Hanguang-jun. Do I get this gift because I’ve been so good?”

Lan Wangji could hear the teasing undertone in Wei Wuxian’s voice, but he pulled Wei Wuxian against him and kissed him. “Wei Ying is so good,” he said, seriously. Wei Wuxian laughed.

His laughing continued when Lan Wangji reached down to unfasten Wei Wuxian’s belt. He was only wearing a light outer robe, suitable for being inside, without the heavy wrist wrappings or wide, firm belts, so it took only a few moments to strip Wei Wuxian down to his own underclothes. It felt decadent, to undress each other this way. Lan Wangji had imagined that they would be too desperate the first time, that they would tear at each other’s clothes in frantic need, but somehow this careful undressing, unwrapping, made him feel more urgent than anything else. This wasn’t something furtive or fumbling. They were both choosing this, together.

Lan Wangji let his eyes travel down Wei Wuxian’s body, taking it in, trying to believe that he was here, that this was happening. He had imagined touching Wei Wuxian so many times that there was a sense of unreality.

He reached out and took Wei Wuxian’s hand, leading him to the bed and letting Wei Wuxian climb on first. They both lay down on their sides, face to face. There was a beat and then they were kissing again. The unreality faded, powerless against the feel of Wei Wuxian’s lips, tongue, taste. It wasn’t enough, though. Lan Wangji rolled on top of Wei Wuxian and he again parted his legs for Lan Wangji to slide between them.

Lan Wangji could not stop the small whine of pleasure that escaped him as he felt Wei Wuxian’s cock pressed hard up against his own. This was where he wanted to be, forever. They kissed so deep; Wei Wuxian was making urgent sounds and rocking his hips against Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji wanted to pin him down, so only his hips could move, and watch as he rutted against Lan Wangji until he came.

The thought almost carried Lan Wangji over the top and he jerked his hips away so it wouldn’t all be over too soon. Wei Wuxian made a low groan of frustration at the sudden lack of friction so Lan Wangji reached down and cupped Wei Wuxian with his palm. He used the heel of his hand to press, and was rewarded by a stuttered breath.

“Lan-Lan Zhan, you don’t have to...” Lan Wangji squeezed more firmly and Wei Wuxian broke off, throwing his head back and thrusting up into Lan Wangji’s palm. Suddenly Lan Wangji wanted his hands on him. He tilted himself to the side so he could get one hand to the strings on Wei Wuxian’s trousers and deftly untied them, pushing the trousers down and away and finally getting his hand on Wei Wuxian’s cock.

As he wrapped his hand around it, Wei Wuxian’s hand spasmed down to grip Lan Wangji’s hand and he panted out “Stop, stop, shit.” Lan Wangji paused immediately and waited for Wei Wuxian who laughed and covered his face with his other arm. “I was -” He didn’t finish, but Lan Wangji realised what he had been trying to say. Wei Wuxian had been about to come, just from Lan Wangji’s hand touching him.

Lan Wangji looked down at his hand, overwhelmed by the thought and wanting it so desperately. To see the final evidence that Wei Wuxian wanted this as much as he did. He released Wei Wuxian, who made a small sound, and untied his own trousers, pushing them down. Then he pulled Wei Wuxian’s arm away from his face, using his own hands to hold Wei Wuxian’s wrists still on either side of his head. Wei Wuxian looked up at him as he leaned down to kiss Wei Wuxian again, letting himself rest back between Wei Wuxian’s legs. This time they were skin to skin and it was mind-blowing. It felt like everything.

Wei Wuxian kissed him back, desperate and messy, making small noises every time Lan Wangji pressed down harder on his wrists. They rocked together, Lan Wangji drawing his hips back further each time to get more leverage and push onto Wei Wuxian more firmly. He drew back a little too far and when he rocked his hips back his cock slipped down instead, pushing forcefully between Wei Wuxian’s legs, along the skin, against his hole and pushing between his cheeks. Wei Wuxian moaned out a stuttered breath, his hips writhing off the bed. The implication of what happened flooded through Lan Wangji and, entranced by Wei Wuxian’s reaction, he thrust once more, pressing his cock firmly between Wei Wuxian legs again, the same path as before. Wei Wuxian made a gasping, choking sound and bucked, cock pressing hard against Lan Wangji as he came, mouth open against Lan Wangji’s lips.

Wei Wuxian’s response, the feel of him twitching against Lan Wangji and the clench of his thighs, was too much. Lan Wangji thrust once more and came, spilling urgently, his whole body shuddering.

When Lan Wangji slowly came back to himself his cheek was pressed to Wei Wuxian’s, both of them breathing heavily. Wei Wuxian’s hands twitched and Lan Wangji let go of his wrists. Wei Wuxian slid his arms up and around Lan Wangji’s shoulders, holding him close and burying his face into Lan Wangji’s neck. Lan Wangji turned his head and kissed Wei Wuxian’s hair and ear. Wei Wuxian made a sound, but didn’t emerge.

Lan Wangji lifted his hips off of Wei Wuxian to move from on top of him, but Wei Wuxian just kept a tight hold of him, face still hidden. With a lurch, Lan Wangji realised that Wei Wuxian might be unhappy with what happened.

“Wei Ying.” He nudged at Wei Wuxian’s arms to try and release them, but Wei Wuxian held firm. “Wei Ying, are you okay?” Wei Wuxian made a distressed sound and Lan Wangji felt his stomach sink. “I’m sorry if I -”

Wei Wuxian cut him off. “Lan Zhan, you know that the sun hasn’t even set yet?” Wei Wuxian’s voice was muffled against his neck. Lan Wangji was confused so just hummed an inquiry. “It’s not even dark and anyone could see and I -” He broke off and the truth dawned on Lan Wangji.

“Wei Ying, are you embarrassed?” Lan Wangji could almost laugh. His shameless Wei Wuxian was ashamed? He tried to stroke Wei Wuxian’s hair but Wei Wuxian’s tight hold on him made it awkward. “Wei Ying, why? Who could see? There’s only me here.”

Wei Wuxian mumbled something that Lan Wangji couldn’t catch and he hummed for him to repeat it.

Wei Wuxian’s hands splayed across his shoulders, still holding him, but he finally spoke clearly. “What happened, at the end. It was...indecent.” Lan Wangji went to open his mouth but Wei Wuxian rushed on. “It was so dirty, and I liked it. If I let go of you you’ll look at me, you’ll see me, and I don’t have a thick enough face to handle that right now.”

Lan Wangji smiled and pressed his face against Wei Wuxian’s hair. He was so in love with this man.

“Wei Ying, I liked it too,” he told him. Wei Wuxian made another sound so Lan Wangji went on. “I want to do it again.”

Wei Wuxian finally let go of him and met Lan Wangji’s eyes. “Lan Zhan!” His face was flushed, hair awry, and he had never looked more beautiful. Lan Wangji kissed him, watching Wei Wuxian’s eyes flutter closed.

Lan Wangji pulled back out of the kiss and finally shifted himself off Wei Wuxian, turning them both on their sides so they were lying facing each other, arms wrapped around each other and legs tangled. As he moved, he decided that honesty would likely also work here. “Wei Ying, I want to do far more things with you than this.”

Wei Wuxian flushed even more and Lan Wangji smiled, kissing the hot blush on both his cheeks. He watched as Wei Wuxian tried to summon his teasing back to defuse the tension.

“Oh, does Hanguang-jun have a list?” Wei Wuxian’s tone held a hint of false sarcasm.

“Mn,” Lan Wangji admitted.

Wei Wuxian’s eyes widened “Huh? You actually do?”

Lan Wangji nodded, stroking Wei Wuxian’s shoulder and back. “I have thought about this for a long time.”

Wei Wuxian stared at him. Lan Wangji let him, let him see that this was what Lan Wangji had wanted all along. That he didn’t have to be embarrassed for liking something, because Lan Wangji was being so direct about his own feelings. It felt unfamiliar, but right. Wei Wuxian should be able to see all of him.

Finally Wei Wuxian spoke. “What kind of things?” The blush was still high on his cheeks but his eyes seemed to glitter with more than shame, now.

“We can talk about them.” He took his arm from around Wei Wuxian and pulled Wei Wuxian’s hand into his own, holding it to his chest. “You do not need to do anything that you do not enjoy, but you also do not need to be ashamed if you do like something.”

Wei Wuxian ducked his head with a groan, but didn’t completely lower it so Lan Wangji just stroked his hand until he spoke.

“But -” He paused. “What if my list of things that I’ve thought about doing with you is really dirty?” Wei Wuxian looked up again and Lan Wangji felt a low thrum of heat, despite what they had just done.

“Then I also know that I do not need to do anything that I do not enjoy, but will not be ashamed of anything we choose to do together.”

Wei Wuxian laughed, shaking his head. “Lan Zhan, I like you so much.” He leaned in to kiss Lan Wangji. “Who knew that the upright Hanguang-jun was so filthy?”

Lan Wangji didn’t answer, but kissed Wei Wuxian again. He didn’t think he could tire of it. Any time spent not kissing Wei Wuxian now felt like it was wasted. Wei Wuxian liked him. Wei Wuxian wanted this. It felt like a dream.

When they parted again Lan Wangji touched his forehead to Wei Wuxian’s. “Wei Ying, I like you. So much.”

The sound Wei Wuxian made was part sob, part laugh. “Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan, oh no. You can’t say that to me.”

“Wei Ying said it,” he pointed out.

Wei Wuxian huffed. “Well Wei Ying says a lot of things, so you probably just roll your eyes at what I say. But you say so little that when you say things like that… Lan Zhan.” He shook his head.

Lan Wangji drew back to look at him, Wei Wuxian’s gaze immediately meeting his. “Wei Ying, I do not roll my eyes. Do you not know how it affects me when you say things about me?”

Wei Wuxian smiled, fragile and delicate. He reached his hand out to touch Lan Wangji’s face. “My Lan Zhan. Looks so stoic, but there’s always so much happening underneath where I can’t see it.” Lan Wangji kissed his palm and Wei Wuxian laughed. “I can figure a lot out, but sometimes you need to tell me. How could I ever guess that you wanted this too? It was the most unlikely thing.”

Lan Wangji shook his head. Unlikely? He had wanted Wei Wuxian for so long now it felt like as much a part of him as the heart it occupied.

He reached up to pull Wei Wuxian’s hand back to his chest. “Wei Ying, not unlikely. Inevitable.”

Wei Wuxian’s smile was so beautiful. He looked breathless with it and his eyes made half moons that Lan Wangji wanted to kiss. “Lan Zhan.” His voice was a whisper. “Can I stay? Can I stay here, with you?”

Lan Wangji kissed him, fierce with his joy and relief. He kissed his mouth, his cheeks, his eyelids and forehead. Wei Wuxian laughed. “I think this is a yes?”

“Yes,” Lan Wangji confirmed. “Yes, Wei Ying. Stay.”

Wei Wuxian looked at him in wonder. “You really want me to, don’t you.”

Lan Wangji nodded. “Mn.”

“I thought that maybe you did, but I wasn’t sure.”

“I told you that you were welcome,” Lan Wangji pointed out.

“Lan Zhan, there’s a difference between someone being welcome, and being actively wanted.” Wei Wuxian eyes were earnest. “One says that you don’t mind the person being there. That you are content to allow it. That is different to preferring it when they’re there.”

Lan Wangji could see the logic, but there was more to their particular situation. He considered his words and Wei Wuxian watched him, touching their fingers together as he did.

“Wei Ying, I will not be like my father,” Lan Wangji finally said.

Wei Wuxian made an inquiring sound. “How would you be like him?”

“I would never keep you here against your will.”

Wei Wuxian laughed, low and soft. “Lan Zhan, I know that.”

“Mn,” Lan Wangji allowed. “But you did not know it before, when I asked you to come back.” Wei Wuxian looked like he might interject but Lan Wangji continued. “And you often do things because you think others want it, not because you yourself do.” He reached out and tucked Wei Wuxian’s hair back from his face, unable to look away. “You do not consider your wants as important and so disregard them for others.” He paused, Wei Wuxian’s eyes still on his. “I wanted you to choose based upon your own preferences, not because you were giving way to mine.”

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said, but didn’t go on.

“I am too much like my father.” Wei Wuxian shook his head, but Lan Wangji continued, needing to explain. “I… I would keep you here, with me. I would never let you leave without me, never let anyone harm you, touch you.” Feeling Wei Wuxian’s bare skin pressed to his own drove him on. He needed Wei Wuxian to understand. “I would tie you to my bed and never let you wear anything, keep you naked and wanting, begging for me to kiss you, to own you.” He stopped, breathing deeply, trying to draw back from his overwhelmingly possessive feelings. To assert his self-control again. Wei Wuxian was watching him, eyes intense. “I could not let myself force my desires onto you.”

“Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian voice was almost a whisper. “God.” He pulled Lan Wangji in closer to kiss. “I want that, I want to be yours, everything you said.”

They kissed again. Lan Wangji felt like a man denied water and then suddenly permitted to drink whenever he wanted. He couldn’t get enough. He gripped Wei Wuxian tighter, as though they could be any closer than they were now.

Wei Wuxian finally pulled away with a laugh. “Look at us, Lan Zhan. Both of us trying to give the other what they want, when all we really needed was for both of us to be here, together.”

Lan Wangji pursed his lips. “Wei Ying, I know that Cloud Recesses is too rigid for you. Too many rules.” He took a breath, “Would you really want to stay here?”

Wei Wuxian watched him, eyes straying all over Lan Wangji’s face. Finally he spoke. “Home was Lotus Pier. Even after I left, even when I was first living in the Burial Mounds, I thought of Lotus Pier as home. It gradually changed, when we started to be able to grow food and I spent more time with A-Yuan. That became my home, then.” Wei Wuxian’s eyes looked to the side and Lan Wangji knew he was remembering past losses. “After,” he paused, “well, I had no home. And then I was gone.”

His eyes came back to meet Lan Wangji’s. “But then I was back. Back in a world that had moved on, and I still had no home.” He reached up to touch Lan Wangji’s face again. “But I had you. My Lan Zhan.” Lan Wangji closed his eyes with the intensity of feeling. “You were there, by my side. We travelled together and I realised that you, you had become my home.”

“Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji leaned in to kiss him, hoping Wei Wuxian would understand. Wei Wuxian kissed him back, almost frantic, then slower, deeper. Lan Wangji felt heat stirring inside him again.

Wei Wuxian pulled away again, with a smile. “But I realised,” he continued, as though he had not stopped, “that coming here, staying here with you, night hunting with the juniors, spending time with A-Yuan and teaching… This started to feel like home, too.” Lan Wangji’s lips parted in pleasure at the revelation. “The smell of the mountain air in the mornings, how crisp it is in midwinter, the soft light here, in the Jingshi. They all reminded me of being here with you, and so became signs of home, too.”

“Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji felt dizzy with joy.

“Lan Zhan. I want to stay here, if you will have me.” Wei Wuxian’s eyes were candid and took Lan Wangji’s breath away with the fulfillment of decades of wishes.

“Please.” Lan Wangji could barely croak out the words, throat tight. “Please stay.” Wei Wuxian pressed their foreheads together and it seemed to loosen Lan Wangji’s throat. “Stay with me, live with me here, marry me.”

Wei Wuxian laughed, a delightful sound. “Yes, yes, yes. Of course I will. Forever.”

Lan Wangji rolled them so that he was again on top of Wei Wuxian, Wei Wuxian still laughing and spreading his legs to let Lan Wangji lie between them again. He could feel that Wei Wuxian was getting hard again, too.

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian’s eyes were alight and Lan Wangji watched a vivid red blush stain his cheeks. “Is this when you tie me to the bed? I liked the sound of that.” He wrapped his arms around Lan Wangji’s shoulders and hid his face again, but also pressed his hips up against Lan Wangji.

Lan Wangji leaned down to kiss him while reaching up one-handed to remove his ribbon. Then he grabbed Wei Wuxian’s wrists and pushed them up, above Wei Wuxian’s head. He wrapped the ribbon around them, binding the wrists together, then looping the ends through a slat in the bed, fastening it off securely.

Wei Wuxian laughed breathlessly and tugged on his wrists, testing how firm the tie was. He looked at Lan Wangji. “Am I yours now, Lan Zhan?”

Lan Wangji leaned back to kneel between Wei Wuxian’s thighs and let his eyes roam across his body, naked and laid out for Lan Wangji. “Mine.”

He reached down and ran his hands up Wei Wuxian’s thighs, then onto his hips. How many times had he looked at Wei Wuxian and tried to imagine what he looked like under all those robes? How many times had he imagined being permitted to look and touch as much as he wanted?

Wei Wuxian looked up at him, eyes dark, hands tied to Lan Wangji’s bed. His lips were parted and as Lan Wangji watched his tongue dipped out to lick them. Lan Wangji leaned forward and kissed him, trailing his lips across Wei Wuxian’s jaw and to his throat. He brushed fingers across Wei Wuxian’s chest, touching the Wen brand and kissing it. Lan Wangji then stroked across each of Wei Wuxian’s nipples, first with fingers and then with his mouth, causing Wei Wuxian to shift and squirm.

Lan Wangji moved his hands down onto Wei Wuxian’s stomach, fingers brushing through the dark trail of hair that seemed to encourage him lower. He kissed Wei Wuxian there, too, enjoying the contrast of the soft skin and the coarse hair. He kissed across the scar there, too, lips touching the sensitive skin and making Wei Wuxian take a sharp intake of breath.

He moved down further to Wei Wuxian’s cock, hard and straining. He leaned forward to kiss the tip of it and Wei Wuxian let out a breath, cock twitching enough to move it away and back to Lan Wangji’s lips. Lan Wangji smiled and did it again, eliciting the same response.

When he did it a third time, Wei Wuxian complained. “Lan Zhan.”

Lan Wangji almost wanted to laugh with enjoyment. This time he licked the head of Wei Wuxian’s cock and relished the beautiful sighs that it caused. He licked it again and noticed the way that Wei Wuxian’s legs spread even further, tilting his hips up. He took the whole head into his mouth, licking with his tongue, and Wei Wuxian gave a quiet moan. As he did it again, keeping the kisses and touches light, he moved his fingers to brush against Wei Wuxian’s hole, sweeping firmly back and forth in a vague echo of what his cock had done before.

Wei Wuxian’s reaction was immediate. First he moaned and pressed into it, then he gasped and jerked his hips away, closing his legs around Lan Wangji, his knees holding Lan Wangji in place.

“Lan Zhan, you shouldn’t, you can’t.” He shook his head. “It’s,” he faltered, “it’s too dirty, you don’t have to, just because I -”

Lan Wangji reached up and placed his hand across Wei Wuxian’s lips and he stopped talking. “Wei Ying, is it something that you don’t want?” Wei Wuxian looked at him, eyes wide. He swallowed and shook his head. “Then do you trust that I know what I want?” Wei Wuxian hesitated for a second and then nodded. “So will you let me?”

He withdrew his hand to let Wei Wuxian speak if he wanted to, but he didn’t. He flushed a dark red, all the way down his neck to his chest, looked away, and then nodded again. He breathed deeply, then spread his legs again.

Lan Wangji quickly leaned over to retrieve the oil he kept tucked away under the bed before returning to his position between Wei Wuxian thighs. He coated his fingers with the oil and this time he didn’t wait before using them. He circled Wei Wuxian’s hole and continued to kiss his cock lightly, occasionally licking gently. The panting sounds from Wei Wuxian were beautiful. He flexed his hips, but didn’t pull away. Lan Wangji pressed slightly and his finger breached Wei Wuxian, who writhed and finally started talking.

“Ungh, god, Lan Zhan, oh fuck, you’re so filthy, I never thought you’d want this.” As Lan Wangji pushed deeper, Wei Wuxian turned his head to the side, arching so his neck was extended. “I thought about this so much...” He trailed off into a gasp when Lan Wangji moved his finger and sucked on the tip of his cock at the same time.

Wei Wuxian had thought about this? As much as Lan Wangji had? He definitely wanted to find out more, but it could wait until afterwards. He couldn’t think too hard about what he was going to do, or he might come just from the thought and the friction of the bed under his own hips.

When Wei Wuxian was more relaxed into it, Lan Wangji pushed a second finger in to join the first. He had practiced as much as possible on himself. He hadn’t been able to get all of the angles right, something the books had warned might be the case, but he had studied nonetheless, just in case this day might come to pass. Now he had Wei Wuxian here, legs open, back arched, and it seemed that the enjoyment was as much as had been described.

He added a third finger, crooking the others, and had to use his weight to stop Wei Wuxian’s hips from rising full off the bed, wrapping an arm around his thigh.

“Ah ah ah, oh fuck, oh Lan Zhan that feels so good, I can’t believe you’re doing this.”

Wei Wuxian sounded slightly frantic so Lan Wangji called out to him. “Wei Ying, look at me.” Wei Wuxian turned his head and met Lan Wangji’s eyes. He looked wild. Lan Wangji kept his gaze as he leaned down and kissed Wei Wuxian’s thigh. “So beautiful, Wei Ying.”

Wei Wuxian gave a deep moan and shifted his hips so he fucked down onto Lan Wangji’s fingers. Lan Wangji couldn’t wait anymore. He slipped his fingers from inside Wei Wuxian and shifted to his knees. He leaned down to kiss Wei Wuxian, using his hands to push Wei Wuxian’s thighs up and apart as he did so. The kiss was desperate, wet and deep. Lan Wangji’s cock brushed up against Wei Wuxian’s hole and Wei Wuxian gasped into the kiss, rolling his hips.

Lan Wangji reached down to coat his cock with oil and then to hold it steady and guide it, pressing against Wei Wuxian until he pushed inside. They both broke the kiss as he did so, mouths panting hot against each other.

“Oh fuck, Lan Zhan.” Wei Wuxian was rocking his hips, like he was trying to push Lan Wangji in faster. Lan Wangji took it slow, though, no matter how much he also wanted to rush. It still didn’t take long until he was fully seated, Wei Wuxian’s body hot and tight around his cock. Lan Wangji had to take a moment to calm himself. If he thought too hard or pictured what he was doing too clearly, he would come before he even got to move.

Lan Wangji pushed hair back from Wei Wuxian’s face and kissed him. “Okay?”

Wei Wuxian laughed breathily. “No, I’m not okay, I’m going to pass out if you don’t move, come on.”

Lan Wangji thrust his hips and Wei Wuxian’s laugh turned into a stuttered breath. He pulled back and did it again, his own breath faltering at the sensations of hot, tight and slick. He did it again.

As Lan Wangji built up a rhythm he held Wei Wuxian tight, kissing his lips, his cheek, his neck. Wei Wuxian’s hips were thrusting to meet Lan Wangji’s, and Wei Wuxian’s small noises started to build to deep moans, so obscene that the pleasure rose in him faster. He knew he would not last much longer.

Wei Wuxian’s cock was trapped between them and as they moved Lan Wangji could feel it getting harder and tighter until finally he felt Wei Wuxian’s whole body shudder, clenching around Lan Wangji’s cock, but going slack everywhere else as his muscles seemed to give out. Wei Wuxian’s moan shivered through both of them as his mouth worked against Lan Wangji’s.

Knowing that he had made Wei Wuxian come like this, just from this, was too much for Lan Wangji to contain. He thrust again into Wei Wuxian and came, even while Wei Wuxian was still shuddering through the last of his orgasm. As he did, he revelled in the realisation that he was coming inside Wei Wuxian, claiming his body, owning him, and he trembled again, hips thrusting as the pleasure overwhelmed him.

Lan Wangji lay there, feeling Wei Wuxian gasping and shivering underneath him while his own body twitched. After a few moments he recovered enough to lift himself slightly, to not crush Wei Wuxian under him quite so much. Wei Wuxian’s eyes met his and he kissed him, loose and messy. When Lan Wangji pulled back out of the kiss, Wei Wuxian’s eyes stayed closed.

“I’m definitely just going to pass out now.” His words sounded slurred and Lan Wangji couldn’t blame him. He just wanted to lie here and go to sleep, still buried deep inside Wei Wuxian, heavy on top of him and slick with the evidence of their shared pleasure. He knew he couldn’t, though.

Lan Wangji pulled back, slipping out of Wei Wuxian, and they both made small sounds at the feeling. Wei Wuxian looked up at him with a sated smile. Lan Wangji kissed it and then climbed to his feet.

“Hey.” Wei Wuxian sounded a little more awake, amused. “Are you really just leaving me here, tied to the bed?”

Lan Wangji came back with a washcloth and paused to look at the sight Wei Wuxian made, naked, debauched, laid out on their bed. “Mn. Maybe next time.”

Wei Wuxian grinned and wriggled his hands, but yelped when Lan Wangji used the cloth to clean him. “Ai ai, Lan Zhan, you don’t need to do that.” Lan Wangji ignored him and continued.

When he was done he put the cloth aside and climbed back onto the bed. He untied Wei Wuxian’s wrists, massaging each and touching the red marks his ribbon had left. Wei Wuxian watched him as he pressed soft kisses to each wrist.

“I see how you’re pretending to be all politeness now, Lan Zhan, but you’re not fooling anyone.” Lan Wangji raised an amused eyebrow. “I can’t believe that I was trying to be all respectful of one of the Twin Jades and he just does,” Wei Wuxian waved a hand, “that. Just does it! No hesitation.”

“Mn.” Lan Wangji pulled the covers over them so that Wei Wuxian would not get cold. They would have to eat soon, but lying with Wei Wuxian naked against him felt too good to move yet.

Wei Wuxian pressed a kiss against Lan Wangji. “We’re going to do that again, right?”

Lan Wangji smiled. “Mn.”

Wei Wuxian grinned back. “Every day?”

“Every day,” he agreed.

Lan Wangji felt the rise and fall of Wei Wuxian’s breath against him, assured in the knowledge that he could finally let himself possess as he wanted.

EPILOGUE

Lan Wangji looked out and saw Lan Xichen approaching. He turned to Wei Wuxian, who was still working on some of his projects at the table.

“Wei Ying, Brother is here.”

Wei Wuxian looked up, blinking as he tore his eyes away from what he was doing. “What, already?” He blinked more and shook his head. ”Wow, that time went really fast!” He started gathering everything up, shoving papers into bundles as Lan Xichen came to the door and Lan Wangji greeted him.

Wei Wuxian rose and sketched a hasty bow. “Zewu-jun, apologies for my mess.” He snatched up the bundles and thrust them haphazardly onto a nearby shelf. “I lost track of time.”

Lan Xichen smiled. “Di-fu, this is your home, you do not need to apologise to me.”

Lan Wangji saw the pleased expression on Wei Wuxian’s face. He knew that Wei Wuxian still sometimes felt that he was in Cloud Recesses on sufferance, despite their recent marriage, but as time passed, he had settled in more. Also with teaching and escorting the juniors on night hunts, he was feeling it more and more as his home. Comments like that from Lan Xichen only helped.

When they were all sat, tea poured, Lan Xichen nodded towards the bundle of papers. “What are you working on now? Your inventions are certainly helping to make Lan cultivators the envy of the other sects.”

“Ahhhh, it’s nothing, it’s nothing.” Wei Wuxian waved a hand as though to dismiss the complement. “And this isn’t anything new, anyway. It’s something I’ve been working on for a long time and never got to work quite right. I thought I would tinker with it this evening.”

“Hmmm? Something the esteemed inventor cannot get to work? Is there such a thing?” Lan Xichen teased. Lan Wangji felt a deep contentment to see his husband and brother building a stronger relationship.

Wei Wuxian laughed. “Well, little do others know that for every invention that works, there are five that get thrown out. I think this one may be approaching that point.”

“How long have you been working on it?” Lan Xichen asked. Lan Wangji had been sure that Lan Xichen’s initial question was only asked out of politeness, but a real interest seemed to have been sparked. Lan Wangji was interested, too. Wei Wuxian rarely mentioned projects that were not having success, unless he wanted Lan Wangji’s assistance, and he had not heard about this one.

Wei Wuxian considered. “Huh, since a few weeks after I left here the first time?” He gestured with his tea cup. “I was out on my own and aware that there might be people who still hated me. Plus, I didn’t have any backup if something went wrong.” Lan Wangji pursed his lips. He remembered his own worries and concerns for Wei Wuxian, who had seemed to brush them off with ease. It was infuriating and encouraging to know that he had actually taken them seriously. “I started working on this as a sort of early-warning system for myself. I couldn’t get it to work, though. I’ve worked on it since then, mainly when I was back here, as a good table to work at is definitely better than the side of a donkey!” He rapped his knuckles on the table.

“A warning system?” Lan Wangji asked. It definitely sounded interesting.

Lan Xichen clearly thought so too. “What does it do? How does it work?”

Wei Wuxian grinned. “Well, it doesn’t work!” Lan Xichen let out a laugh. “But it’s meant to send a warning to yourself, back in time, about future events.”

“Back in time?” Lan Xichen placed his cup down. “Is that possible? You would not see forward very far.” Things that meddled with time were notoriously difficult to control.

“Ahhh, see, that’s where it’s meant to be quite clever.” Wei Wuxian put down the cup to be able to gesture with his hands more thoroughly. “So, you’re about to go into a cave or a village or something. Within minutes, or hours. Events for that short a time into the future are remarkably fixed. Is there a monster in the cave? Are the villagers going to throw things at the Yiling Patriarch? Those things are not likely to change, and so you can get a pretty good reading.”

Wei Wuxian was warming to his subject, eyes alight. “Ah, but that isn’t a great help for you now. You’re already at the cave or the village or so on. You have few choices. However, the past is a known, fixed quality. It’s complicated, but I’m pretty sure that you should be able to send a simple warning back to yourself.” He tutted. “It would be quite ambiguous, but hopefully enough to mean that you would have a chance to be more prepared, or make some different choices.” He shook his head. “I think the vagueness that results from being able to do it with the power an actual person can use is possibly why it’s not working.”

Lan Wangji felt frozen. He glanced at Lan Xichen, whose eyes were wide, then back at Wei Wuxian, who was staring at the table as though still considering his project. “Wei Ying.” Wei Wuxian looked up at him. “You have been working on this every time you were here?”

Wei Wuxian shrugged. “Yeah, I think so.”

“But it never worked when you tried it?” Lan Xichen probed further. Wei Wuxian shook his head. Lan Xichen looked back at Lan Wangji and started smiling.

Lan Wangji closed his eyes for a moment. “How would it know what problem you were concerned about?”

Wei Wuxian eyed Lan Xichen, who was trying to hide his smile behind his tea cup, then turned back to Lan Wangji. “Well, it’s hard to target, so I was just aiming for it warning you about whatever you were most concerned about at that moment.”

“Months of research,” Lan Xichen said to Lan Wangji, and started to actually laugh, lifting his sleeve to cover his mouth. Lan Wangji lowered his face, a smile tugging at his lips.

“What?” Wei Wuxian asked. “What’s going on?” Lan Xichen shook his head so Wei Wuxian looked at Lan Wangji. “Lan Zhan?”

Lan Wangji reached out and took Wei Wuxian’s hand. “Wei Ying, I will explain.”