Archive of Our Own ^beta

As soon as the vertigo from being warped between dimensions faded, Gordon staggered to his feet, instinctively reaching out for a pair of eyes. The feeling — the very air of Xen was a shock to his system; after spending so long buried deep within the waking nightmare of the horrible Black Mesa facility, Gordon had almost forgotten what the ever-present thrum of inhuman life felt like. It was almost comforting, the feeling of Xen — similar enough to home for Gordon to feel more at ease, but just different enough to keep him on his metaphorical toes.

He was able to latch onto Tommy first, and Coomer soon after. Bubby was nowhere in the vicinity, — that was concerning, something to make a note of, — and Benrey was nearby, but shutting Gordon out as he tended to do. He couldn't tell how either of his nearby teammates were feeling, neither one within view of the other, but Tommy allowed Gordon a clear view of himself, bruised, battered, and covered in all manner of blood and dried fluids. Last Gordon remembered, Xen still had some healing pools scattered around — maybe he could catch a quick dip in one before returning for debriefing. God knows he feels just as disgusting as he looks.

"Um, Gordon…" Gordon turned his head towards the direction Coomer's voice came from, automatically switching to the older man as he did. Coomer wasn't looking at Gordon like he'd expected, the demi-human scanning the shattered horizon of Xen's broken landscape. "I'm scared."

"Welcome to Xen, guys," Gordon said, voice sounding just as tired as he felt. "We made it."

"Wh-What is this place, Mr. Freeman?" Sighing, Gordon swapped over to Tommy-view, gesturing out towards the broken islands with his regrown limb.

"Xen used to be a hub for interdimensional travel," Gordon explained, easily reciting the regulated explanation every specialist was given. "Vibrant, bustling, filled with travelers of all shapes and sizes. Xen welcomed anyone on its land, becoming sort of a dimensional rest stop. We took care of her and, in return, she took care of us."

Gordon could practically feel the unspoken questions from his companions, but neither one spoke up, instead just watching Gordon warily as he rambled on.

"Unfortunately, some dimensions aren't quite as… careful, with their native species. Houndeyes — er, 'peeper puppies,' headcrabs, 'golem apes' … all invasive species from other dimensions." A group of manta rays flew by, their silent flight attracting no attention. "Xen was overrun with these creatures, it's safety and natural ecosystem compromised. It had to be discontinued, for the safety of the travelers."

Silence fell over the group, the distant howls of Xen's invading creatures echoing in the distance. Gordon could feel a greater presence approaching, one all too familiar and hostile.

"Very interesting, Gordon!" Coomer chirped, a hint of uncertainty in his voice. "But, uh — how do you know that?"

"Because," boomed a deep, monotone voice, a shadow falling over the group, "he's not from Black Mesa." Both Tommy and Coomer turned in the direction of the voice, as did Gordon, though it was unnecessary. He knew who the voice belonged to, even without the help of Tommy's eyes.

"He's an intruder," hissed Benrey, the guard towering over the others, eyes narrowed with anger. "He's not supposed to be here."

Gordon could only bring himself to look on in awe, the staggering might of the alien staring him down ripping his breath away. A thousand words ran through his head, but he couldn't make his voice cooperate, watching helplessly as Benrey's ire increased. He wanted to laugh, wanted to cry, wanted to offer up apologies, explanations, questions of his own. He didn't mean any harm, he was just doing his job, please don't resent him, he just wanted to help, to save you all-!!

Then Benrey swung at the island they'd been standing on, and Gordon had no choice but to flee.

That was a few hours ago.

Gordon led his ragtag group through the catacombs of Xen, dodging attacks from the ranting Benrey and taking out all manner of aggressive, invasive creatures. It hurt, having to run from the alien guard, unable to explain himself, listening to his frustrated rambling all the while. He wanted to stop, to ask why, to listen to Benrey and figure out why, why, why are you fighting us, we're on the same side, we nonhumans have to stick together-!!

But Benrey relentlessly lobbed all manner of Xenian debris at the group, never giving them a second to breathe, and as hard as it was, Gordon had a job to do. He needed to keep his targets safe, needed to extract them safely, and he couldn't risk their well-being for one person he wasn't assigned.

After hours of trekking through the bowels of Xen, they finally reached a large, intimidating portal, red energy arcing off of the structure in electric flares. Gordon had been leading Benrey here on purpose; he knew this part of Xen well, knew what lay beyond this point. He didn't want to risk the safety of his targets — friends, they're more than friends at this point — but he didn't want to jeopardize any other specialists either, and he couldn't just leave Benrey behind like this.

Stepping through the portal, Gordon felt a viscous liquid lap at his thighs, hearing frustrated complaints from his allies behind him. He reached out to Tommy and was both frustrated and relieved to see Benrey's hulking form looming over the group, having grown to fill the large, cavernous space to its full capacity.

Benrey's form began to warp and change, countless eyes narrowed as he glared straight at Gordon, sweet voice dripping from his gaping maw, — maws, plural, razor-sharp teeth twisting into pained scowls, widening across his twisting, shuddering form, — the misty lights a muddy red to deep, dark gray.

Tommy muttered something under his breath, the sound almost stifled by the aggressive sloshing as the liquid they stood in shifted and churned as the air around Benrey began to shimmer with an unspoken power. Eyes, mouths, burning spotlights and haunting melodies swirled in the halo of light surrounding the guard, and as a small army of skeletal minions arose to surround the small group, Gordon felt his heart plunge, their former companion aiming to attack, desperation clouding the myriad of eyes that sought out Gordon in the chaos.

"Benrey!" Gordon cried, feeling the science team launch into action around him, fighting off skeletons and sweet voice alike. "Why are you doing this?!"

"What does it matter?" Bubby growled, lobbing volleys of blazing fire at the howling alien guard. "He's a big fuck-off monster trying to kill us!!" Benrey growled, otherworldly anger echoing through the room, and Gordon felt like an iron pike was being hammered through his cranium. Bubby hissed in pain, sharp teeth bared, and he rounded on Gordon, eyes narrowed to slits. "Hit him already!!"

"YOU'RE NOT S'POSED TO BE HERE," cried Benrey, voice distorted and otherworldly. His words were scattered, and they sounded like they were coming from every direction at once, a thousand voices speaking over each other in turn. "YOU'RE the BAD GUY! Bringin' — bringin' all my friends to the BAD PLACE — baD BaD pLaCe hate Xen hate Bad bAd baD — why would you do that?"

Gordon's heart ached. Benrey sounded so pained, so genuinely distraught, and Gordon couldn't help but sympathize. Another volley of energy-infused lights ricocheted towards Gordon, forcing him to dive blindly in an attempt to avoid being hurt.

Forcing himself back up, Gordon reached out blindly, finding the eyes of the science team, all gathered around him, disconcertingly stationary. Another burst of sweet voice, this one blinding teal to bright ocean blue, flew out over the group, congealing around the other members of the science team.

"Now I gotta be bad," grumbled Benrey, teeth bared. Before Gordon could question what that meant, a chorus of screams yanked his attention away.

"Gordon, I'm stuck!" cried Coomer, surrounded by the blue-ish aura of lights. Looking through Coomer, Gordon could hardly see through the lights, but caught a glimpse of his other companions similarly encased in the voice.

"Gordon get me out of here!" Gordon swore under his breath, narrowly avoiding a new volley of attacks as he pinged between his teammates, desperately trying to get a clear view. He didn't want to hurt Benrey, the alien was just scared, just confused, but he was running out of options-!!

"Mr. Freeman, I can't move!" Benrey's skeletal minions circled the science team and Sunkist, encasing them in sweet voice cocoons. Benrey's ranting had reached a fever pitch, no longer comprehensible to Gordon's senses. He kept up his attack, though, unyielding in his frustration.

Gordon let out a harsh, frustrated sigh, clenching his fists and straightening up. Readying his amorphous limb, Gordon aimed for the skeletons, launching a reluctant attack as he freed his companions. His hair writhed and flailed, and Gordon whispered a soft apology under his breath as he joined the science team on the offense.

"We have him now!" Coomer bellowed, leveling his fists as he prepared another attack. "One final blow!" Gordon, landing shakily from his aerial assault, hurried forward, reaching out towards the doctor with his intact hand.

"Stand down, Dr. Coomer," Gordon said, slowly approaching Benrey's stationary form. He frowned sadly, gently urging the science team away from the towering alien as he fearlessly strode forward.

Benrey was motionless, countless eyes staring down at Gordon, countless mouths snarling in frustration. A low humming emanated from the guard, blobs of sweet voice and otherworldly eyes orbiting his form. Reaching out silently, Gordon gently laid his powerful right arm against Benrey, frowning sadly as he wordlessly pushed the powerful being over.

As Benrey toppled over, eyes and sweet voice silently dissipating, his form rapidly began to change, shrinking in the air as he fell backward. Gordon hurried forward, stretching his malleable arm outwards to slow the descent of Benrey's unconscious body before he hit the floor. Wrapping his arm around the guard, Gordon pulled his limp body towards himself, catching him in his arms and cradling his helpless body tenderly.

He was so much smaller than Gordon had realized. Sure, he had just been a hulking monstrosity, powerful and unyielding, but now? Now he lay unconscious in Gordon's arms, guard completely down, form so much smaller and more vulnerable than Gordon was used to.

Using his hair tendrils — his hands were a bit occupied at the moment — to brace the back of Benrey's head, Gordon turned to return to the onlooking science team, watching his muddied form approach through Tommy's observant eyes.

"… He was already unconscious," Gordon explained, once he had drawn close enough to his companions. "Another hit would have killed him." All three had their gaze locked on Gordon, so he couldn't see their expressions, and was left to wait silently for a sign of their reactions.

"THAT'S THE POINT —" barked Bubby, cutting his frustration off with a growl. Tommy muttered something under his breath at the same moment — "oh thank fuck we aren't killing Benrey" — but Coomer's voice ultimately won out over Bubby's aggression.

"How do you know that, Gordon?" The others fell silent, all three pairs of eyes turning towards Gordon once more. Frowning slightly, Gordon considered the question. Where does he even start?

With a half-hearted sigh, Gordon held Benrey a bit closer to his chest, one tendril gently caressing his head, and used another tendril to remove his fake glasses.

It was silent for a few tense breaths, and Gordon found himself wishing Benrey were still awake, if only so he could see the expressions of the science team. He could tell that there were tens of questions the group wanted to ask, and although Gordon was sympathetic, he really didn't want to have to explain this whole mess.

"Gordon, I'm confused." Sighing, Gordon adjusted his grip on Benrey's unconscious body, holding him protectively, the tendril with his glasses falling back to join the others.

"Yeah," Gordon said, "I'd — I'd imagine you are. Look," with another sigh, Gordon began walking back the way they came, "let's just head out — there are people way more qualified to explain this than me back at HQ." Both Coomer and Bubby prepared to object, but ultimately didn't say anything, the elderly demi-humans drifting towards each other as they followed Gordon towards the exit. Tommy followed as well but was noticeably silent, and Coomer could see a pondering frown on the taller man's face.

"Why… did you put so much emphasis on…" Tommy trailed off, and Gordon was about to ask what he meant when it clicked what he'd said. "Did you just…" Oh god, he did, didn't he — it was an accident Tommy, he swears — "Gordon."

"Tommy, I… I promise it'll make more sense once we get back to headquarters, okay?" Gordon said hurriedly, walking a bit faster towards the exit portal. He could see Tommy watching him as he retreated, and easily picked up on the unamused tone the older man spoke with. Lucky for him, Tommy didn't seem intent on pursuing Gordon's unfortunate wording, thankfully dropping that line of questioning as the group entered the portal back out of the chamber.

The trek back through Xen was tense and silent, even more uncomfortable than the first trip. Gordon focused on getting to the surface of the border world, forcing his internal conflict down. He's a specialist, and he's on a job. His moral quandaries could wait.

Benrey shifted slightly in Gordon's arms, unconsciously burying his face in Gordon's neck. The alien made a small whimpering sound, and one of his hands came to rest atop Gordon's larger one holding Benrey's torso steady. Remembering what Benrey had said about Xen, how desperate he was not to come here, Gordon realized that the guard was likely reacting to the strong life force of the border world, seeking safety in the face of its presence.

Gordon felt a hot blush spread across his face, eyebrows rising in shock and surprise. Benrey was unconscious, and his sleeping mind turned to Gordon in search of protection. He cleared his throat quietly, furrowing his brow and returning his attention to the task ahead, but a few of his tendrils wrapped themselves around Benrey, holding him closer in an almost protective manner.

"It's gonna be okay," Gordon mumbled as he hoisted himself and Benrey back up a steep ledge, the science team waiting above. "You're gonna get outta here." It was as much for the unconscious alien as it was for himself.

This past week had been a nightmare; he knew it'd be a tough assignment, but Gordon never could've imagined just how tough it would be. But it's almost over. They just had to make it to the final extraction point, and they'll finally be safe.

They just had to make it to the final extraction point, and they'll finally be free.