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What happened to me? Why did I get sucked into all this... why was I stupid enough to listen to such fucking garbage. I don't even know what hurts, but something hurts and I can't even make the noise to let anyone know it hurts. I can't move. I can't speak. Wait... Am I in a hospital?
The monitor beeped with steady, continuous beeps. His body lay perfectly still, one would almost think he was dead if not for the warmth of his skin and the glow he still had. He looked so uncomfortable, the wires connecting to his arms, the tubes to help him breathe... Mizuki...
Koujaku sat next to his unconscious body. He was trying his best to make sense of everything. Mizuki was in such a state because of Morphine, but that's all Koujaku knew. He refused to believe that Aoba could have possibly hurt Mizuki this way. He simply refused to believe it. Aoba would never harm anyone this way, it just wasn't possible.
As he watched Mizuki's chest rise and fall with steady breaths, he kept imagining him waking up and being perfectly fine. But he realised that Mizuki wasn't just slightly hurt and he wasn't perfectly fine. The attack was almost a month ago, and Mizuki hadn't woken up. Doctors said he'd been responsive, but there was nothing other than that. Koujaku bit his lip, not wanting to let tears fall.
He never wanted anything like this to happen. He knew that. He knew Mizuki never wanted anything bad to happen. He couldn't help it any more, letting a tear shed but still quickly wiping it away before anyone could see.
And suddenly a pain singed his heart, he remembered...a few weeks back.
They had been hanging out a lot recently. People questioned it, but they never took it seriously. Koujaku would just deny that he was interested in anything other than women, which was a complete and total lie. But Mizuki took it in his stride, it didn't seem to bother him. Or so it didn't appear to bother him.
But they had been spending a great deal of time with each other, and that night was no different. They stood outside, back of the Black Needle where a small little garden was. Not much of a garden, really. Just a patch of grass with a gate around it. But the night air was lovely and calm, so the two had a glass between them and just watched the night sky.
Koujaku took a sip every now and then, but after a while he had noticed something. Mizuki hadn't touched his drink. And he wasn't smiling. No matter where he was, Mizuki was always smiling. But as he stared into the sky he seemed almost upset? Maybe bored? Koujaku panicked slightly, feeling like a bore.
“Hey,” He caught the shorter man's attention, worry written on his face, “You seem out of it? I'm not boring you am I?” Koujaku smiled slightly, hoping Mizuki would brighten up.
But Mizuki smiled for only a second, and then returned his gaze to the sky. “No, you're not boring me. Don't worry about that.” Mizuki brought his gaze to the floor. Something very clearly wrong.
Koujaku couldn't imagine what was wrong. Mizuki always seemed so bright and cheery, there was nothing apparently wrong with him. But the way he looked to the ground, the way Mizuki never would, the way his face fell into a frown of almost pure sadness.
“What's wrong?” Koujaku placed his hand over Mizuki's, catching his attention once again.
“Nothing.”
“This doesn't seem like nothing, what's bothering you?”
“It's not that nothing is bothering me, it's just nothing to worry about. It's silly.”
“Hey, if it's upsetting you then it isn't silly!” Koujaku moved his hand onto Mizuki's shoulder and came in closer, causing Mizuki to pull away a little. Koujaku sighed, “You...you know you can tell me what's wrong, right?”
“Yeah...”
“Will you?”
“It's nothing, just something silly that's been on my mind recently. I'll get over it, just ignore me. I'm being stupid.” Mizuki's smile slowly returned and he finally took a sip of his drink. Koujaku sighed again, a smile pulling at his lips. At least he was smiling, he guessed, but there was a still a little annoying feeling that he needed to know what bothered Mizuki so much.
They just laughed it off, returning inside when their drinks were finished and sitting at the bar, Koujaku on one of the stools and Mizuki on a chair behind the counter. Deciding against another drink, they just spent the rest of the night chatting away.
Everything seemed normal once more, Mizuki was smiling and laughing, as if he had never been upset. Koujaku couldn't let it slide, it bothered him now and he wanted so bad to know why his friend was upset. He let his smile fade into concern once more and called over the attention of his friend behind the bar counter. “Mizuki,”
“Hm?”
“Promise me that you'll tell me what's on your mind, if not now sometime else?”
“Why are you so persistent about this? I said it was nothing.”
“Please?”
Mizuki sighed playfully, “Fine, I'll tell you some other time.”
Fine, I'll tell you some other time.
Some other time...
Koujaku...
Koujaku couldn't hold himself still, his tears openly falling silently. He placed his hand over Mizuki's, smiling slightly. “Don't go... You never told me what was bothering you...” He sniffed, but still not letting himself cry. His grip tightened, and he muffled a cry with his free hand. “Don't go.”
He clenched his eyes shut, trying to get the sting out of his eyes. He didn't want to cry, he wanted to be strong. He bit slightly at the hand covering his mouth, trying to stop his tears falling.
And suddenly, with his eyes still closed, he felt a movement under his other hand. The hand over Mizuki's hand. A movement. Koujaku's eyes flew open and he suddenly felt a small rush of hope. He couldn't help but call out his name.
And Mizuki flinched slightly.
Koujaku took the chance, with his hand still over Mizuki's, he held tightly and shook him, whispering his name to him. And slowly, Mizuki's eyes opened. Koujaku couldn't believe it, and he smiled with a relived sigh.
“Mizuki!” He shouted out, excitement and happiness spread through his like fire and he bent down to hug Mizuki.
“Koujaku...” He squeaked, his voice slightly sore sounding and croaky. He pushed the bigger man off of him and he smiled a sweet smile, returning Koujaku's sincere expression. Mizuki put his hand up and cupped Koujaku's cheek. “I'm sorry I never told you sooner.”
Koujaku furrowed his eyebrows together, “What do you mean?”
“I always thought you only liked women so I never said anything, but then when I found out you liked Aoba I felt like I didn't stand a chance... And even though he's with someone else, I still couldn't approach you with my feelings, I-”
“Mizuki?” Koujaku felt his heart rate speed up and a blush slowly came to his face. He would have never guessed. Not ever. But he felt his smile widen and he slid his hand over Mizuki's, resting on his cheek. “I never knew you...felt like that...”
“And I'm sorry, Koujaku.”
“Hm?”
“I'm sorry that I didn't say it sooner...”
Koujaku's smile left quickly as Mizuki's eyes fell shut again. His hand fell down, limp like it was suddenly broken. A panic spread through him, hearing the steady beeping become one long beep. His breathing became unsteady and he had no idea what to do other than cry out for help.
But at this point, there was nothing more he could do.
“Mizuki...”