Chapter Text
Hinata shot up in his bed, eyes wide and red and his heart beating fast. His head immediately snapped to the clock beside his bed, heart rate returning to normal when he saw it was only four in the morning. He laid back down and closed his eyes.
An hour later and he was back at it, sitting up straight and frantically searching the clock. Five in the morning. He laid back down.
It had been like this all night. Hinata knew he needed his sleep but he honestly couldn't stop thinking of the big day. In mere hours, he'd be a married man. It felt unreal. His chest kept beating and thumping in his ears. With every wave of excitement, a wave of anxiety shot up his spine right next to it. Of course he should be nervous, he was legally binding himself to someone else for life.
As he laid there with his eyes closed, his mind was filled with terrible scenarios. What if the cake looked different than he had wanted? What if the flowers died throughout the ceremony? What if everyone who had RSVP'd decided not to show up after all? What if he accidentally tore his suit when he was getting ready? But the one question that haunted him above all others circled his mind: what if Kageyama changed his mind?
Hinata shook his head frantically. Kageyama was the one that proposed to him, of course he wouldn't change his mind. If anyone should be worried about one dumping the other, it was Kageyama. Hinata smiled a little knowing deep in his heart that he would never leave Kageyama. He would be sure to tell him that later today.
Later today. The wedding. Hinata's heart beat sped up again.
His arm instinctively reached over to touch his fiance’s arm, but his heart stooped when he remembered that Kageyama wasn't there. They had decided to spend the night in separate places so that the anticipation would be even more real when they saw each other the next day. But Hinata quickly realized that although their plan was working (Hinata missed Kageyama badly), he never wanted to spend another night without his fiance again. His fiance. /Fiance/. He was about to be someone's husband. His heart began to beat fast once more.
That was the last time Hinata woke up for the rest of the night, however. His alarm went off at eight in the morning and when he woke up, for a split second he had completely forgotten he was about to be married. But when he remembered, he shot up immediately and practically sprinted from his bed.
He was about to take a shower, but Hinata decided to draw himself a bath instead. He was feeling jittery and bathing usually calmed him down a little. He slowly began to undress, hot water steaming up as it filled the bath. Hinata took some very slow and very long deep breaths, but it didn't help. He closed his eyes but they immediately opened when he heard his phone chime. He walked back into the bedroom and picked up his phone. Hinata's heart clenched.
From: Tobio
Morning. Make sure to eat.
Hinata furrowed his eyebrows. That was all he had to say to him? Even on such an important day, Kageyama sounded serious. He sighed, and he felt a little guilty when he noticed that his nerves were now ten times worse.
To: Tobio
Yeah, you too.
He closed his eyes, throwing his phone back on the bed and making his way into the bathroom again. Hinata had just turned off the water when he heard his phone chime again.
From: Tobio
I'm tired.
Hinata blinked, not really sure how to respond. Normally Kageyama wasn't interested in texting and preferred to talk over the phone. It wasn't like him to make small talk.
To: Tobio
I'm a bit tired, too. But I'm about to wash my face.
Hinata, again, was about to go back to his bath when his phone went off again.
From: Tobio
I was up all night thinking about you...
Blushing, Hinata answered right away,
To: Tobio
Stupid, say that stuff to me face-to-face.
From: Tobio
I can't help it. I want to hold you at night every night from now on.
To: Tobio
You're so corny.
From: Tobio
Only for you.
Hinata giggled, smiling to himself. He was about to reply, but was surprised to see another text from Kageyama.
From: Tobio
I miss you. I'll be waiting for you, my Shouyou.
Hinata threw his phone on the bed, cheeks burning bright. It was very unlike Kageyama to say anything like that. He shook his head, patting at his burning cheeks. He decided to go straight to the bath rather than respond, shedding his final article of clothing and stepping in.
The water was very soothing to Hinata's aching muscles. He sighed loudly, dunking his head under the water and splashing back up wiping his tired eyes. He wish he had gotten more sleep last night. Hinata gently massaged his scalp with his fingers before washing his hair gently, his mind racing with thoughts of the wedding. He couldn't help but feel like there was a space in his chest that was empty, like something was missing. He attempted to shake the feeling, but it remained. So he tried his best to ignore it, instead, as he washed his body.
When he stepped out of the bath a while later and had dried his hair, he stepped into his sweatpants and t-shirt with slip-on shoes. His suit was hanging where he had left it the night before on the closet door and he grabbed it as he made his way downstairs, careful not to wrinkle it. It was inside a giant, zip-up bag so Hinata knew that wrinkling it would be hard.
He double checked that he had his accessories and shoes and all other necessities that he had packed the night before. Hinata really didn't feel like eating, felt like he would vomit up anything he ate if he tried, but he told Kageyama he would so he decided to quickly fry a single egg and ate that. It was almost nine-thirty before he was leaving the house, on his way to the building where he and his fiance were getting married. Married. Hinata shivered.
His younger sister and mother were there, as promised, to pick him up. They were squealing in excitement when he hopped into the front seat, grabbing at his face and rattling his arms and sobbing into his shoulder and just hugging Hinata. They were basically bouncing in excitement as they made their way to the where the ceremony was being held, babbling on about how amazing it was going to be. Hinata felt guilty when he didn't bounce in excitement with them. In fact, his heart broke a little as he noticed they seemed to be more excited than he was.
They asked him what was wrong, noticing something different about him immediately as they drove. Hinata insisted he was fine, he just had a little pre-marriage jitters. They tried to comfort him at first, but in ended in them going on and on about how he was about to marry the most wonderful man on the planet. His sister made a joke about marrying Kageyama for him, but it hardly lightened his spirits.
When they arrived, Hinata felt odd inside. He was excited, but there was another emotion that shadowed much darker over it. They stepped out and Hinata debated texting Kageyama to see if he was there yet but changed his mind.
There were a lot of people inside preparing for his wedding. It was too early for their guests to be there, but there were a lot of workers shuffling around making everything perfect. However, the three of them, Hinata and his mom and sister, went into a different room that was secluded from the ceremony hall. However, on the way to said room, Hinata passed the ceremony hall. He couldn't help but peek inside and he regretted it instantly, his head immediately spinning.
He saw all of the flowers in the aisles, the long rug running down in the middle of the aisles, the empty seats with bows on each of them, and, at the very back of the room, a small archway covered in white roses. Hinata almost threw up.
His mom and sister took him into the secluded room, giggling. They helped Hinata into his suit even as protested that he could dress himself. He put on a white, long-sleeved shirt first and rolled up the sleeves to his elbows. Then, he put on a black vest and immediately his mind went to a memory of him and Kageyama picking out their outfits. For a moment it warmed up his heart, but then the feeling was gone and he felt cold again. The gap in his chest widened.
Hinata pulled on his black pants and tucked in his shirt, fastening his belt. He slipped on his socks and dress shoes and his family cried at how "handsome he looked." They helped him to fix up his hair a bit and helped him fasten his bow tie. The minutes to the ceremony were drawing nearer, and Hinata felt nothing.
His sister had stepped out for a moment, but when she returned she was babbling on about how they were only waiting on a few more guests. Hinata's heart stopped. Everyone was almost there? How? It had felt as though only five minutes past.
"You almost ready, big brother?"
Hinata's head began to spin. It couldn't be time yet. He still had an hour, right? He needed that hour to collect himself. Where had it gone?
"Are you okay?"
Hinata's eyes widened and he felt his throat begin to close. No, he told himself, it couldn't be time. He wasn't ready yet, nothing was ready yet.
"Shouyou?!"
He couldn't breathe. He might have felt tears run wildly down his cheeks, but then his ears closed up. He couldn't hear his mother and sister yell at him in horror or his own sobs and screams. He couldn't feel himself shaking violently as he sank to the ground, knees curling up to his chest as he sat against the wall. He couldn't feel his fingers and hands shoving against his ears as he cried.
He couldn't breathe. Nothing was right. He couldn't take a breath. His heart was pounding too loud and it was too loud and the air was too thick and he couldn't breathe.
He couldn't feel his sister shaking him and telling him to "snap out of it" and he couldn't hear his mother ripping his sister away and telling her to "go get Kageyama."
Hinata couldn't hear any of it, he could only hear his heart pounding and his ears ringing too loud. The hole in his chest kept widening and widening and his heart was pounding louder and faster and he was choking and it was so cold and his head was booming.
His body was shaking and his screams were getting louder as he sobbed, and he didn't know what to do. He was lost, he was so lost and all he wanted was to make it stop. He couldn't hear anything or feel anything, only the beating of his heart speeding up and the choking of nothing filling his lungs.
His vision was blurry, but he saw him. He knew it was him. A figure bending down next to him and pulling him into his chest and whispering into his ear. He couldn't hear him, but he suddenly felt himself warming up, no longer feeling cold. He suddenly became aware of fingers brushing at his hair and patting at his back. He could feel this person's chest rising up and down against him as they spoke, and suddenly he remembered how to breathe.
But the last thing he regained was his hearing, listening in as words were poured into his ear. "Come back to me, Shouyou," and "I'm here now," and "I've got you," and most importantly, "I love you so much."
Hinata closed his eyes, wrapping his hands tightly around Kageyama. He buried his face into his fiance's shoulder, breathing in his scent harshly in one big, deep breath. His breathing began to steady a little and his heart was no longer thumping loudly. His tears had begun to dry and Hinata was merely sniffling softly now. But Kageyama still continued to hold him and whisper into his ear.
They stayed like that for what felt like forever, and Hinata didn't need to open his eyes to know that his family and Kageyama's were staring at them intensely. His cheeks flushed and he pulled away a little.
"'Yama," he whispered lowly, so that only his fiance could hear it. Kageyama brushed at his cheek. He didn't say anything, but Kageyama understood.
"Can... can I have a minute alone with my fiance, please?" he said, more demanding it then asking. His blue eyes stared intently at their audience, and everyone cautiously left the room, shutting the door. The two of them were alone.
"Everything is wrong," Hinata whispered lowly, crying, "it's wrong."
"What? What is wrong?" Kageyama asked softly, arms still around the smaller boy as they sat on the ground.
"E...everything..." Hinata hiccuped, "the flowers, the hall, this building... it's all wrong."
Kageyama continued to thumb at his cheek and Hinata continued,
"I... I wanted everything to be perfect. I wanted to look back on this day and remember how everything was exactly as I wanted it... but... it's just not. I don't want our guests to be unhappy and I don't want people to think our wedding is terrible and I don't want you to be unhappy--"
"Me?" Kageyama whispered. Hinata gulped and wiped away a tear from his eye,
"I decided on everything," Hinata cried, "I picked the flowers and the cake and the seating arrangements and the centerpieces... I didn't let you choose anything and-and I don't want you to look back on this and hate me because I made all the wrong choices, and I don't want you to resent me for creating a wedding that only I wanted--"
"Shouyou," Kageyama breathed, "... dumbass."
Hinata locked eyes with him, eyes watery and sad. Kageyama thumbed at his cheek and said,
"A desert."
Hinata blinked, softly questioning, "Huh?"
"A basement."
"What?"
"A prison cell, a bathroom, a dirty backyard, the bottom of the ocean, in the center of a storm that's in the center of a hurricane in the middle of a tornado..."
Hinata blinked up at him, confused. Kageyama finished bluntly,
"These are all places that I'd gladly marry you if it meant I get to spend forever with you."
Hinata blinked softly, looking away. Kageyama grabbed his chin and locked their eyes again.
"Shouyou, don't you see? I don't care where we get married as long as we end up being with each other forever. This wedding... you chose white roses, right? That's my favorite flower. You chose vanilla cake, and that's my favorite cake. You picked out special stones and seashells for centerpieces, and now those are some of my favorite things, too. You know why?"
Hinata shook his head.
"Because you picked them. And I love anything that has to do with you. I loved spending that day at the beach with you where you hand picked every single shell because I loved seeing you so happy. I loved watching you agonize over what flowers to choose because you looked like you truly wanted this as much as I do. I loved seeing your face when you finally told me what the perfect flower is, and when you explained its meaning to me. I love all of these things because they make you happy.
"You say that you didn't let me pick anything, but that's not true. I didn't want to pick anything. To me, weddings have always been such a silly concept. I didn't want anything grand, with a lot of people. I knew that when I got married, the only thing I truly cared about was the person I was getting married to. I remember being a kid and worrying about that person, wondering if they would really be a good fit for me. But... I don't have to worry about that anymore, because I found you. And you... are perfect. You're everything I've ever dreamed of, and I'm about less than an hour from making you mine forever and I'm so excited I can hardly stand it.
"I'm never going to love anyone else as much as I love you ever again. So please, Shouyou... marry me?"
Hinata let out a cry, covering his face. He began to cry again, but this time it was for a completely different reason. He uncovered his face and smiled teary-eyed at his fiance.
"Yeah... yes, I want to marry you."
"Then... could you do me a favor and say that in front of our guests so we can make this official?"
Hinata giggled and wiped at his eyes. Kageyama helped him to stand up and Hinata wrapped his arms around his fianee again.
"I love you, Tobio. I'm sorry."
"For what? Being perfect? You should be sorry, I almost faint every time I look at you!"
Hinata laughed again, raising up on his tip toes to kiss Kageyama on the cheek. Kageyama smiled down at him, ruffling his smaller partners' hair.
"I love you, too."
Kageyama helped Hinata freshen up a little, patting at his face and helped him rub lint off his suit. It was then that Hinata really noticed how handsome Kageyama looked. Their suits were matching, only Kageyama's shirt was black and his vest was white, which was the opposite of Hinata's.
Hinata smiled at Kageyama again.
"You okay?"
Hinata took a minute to collect himself. The hole in the chest was now completely filled with what emptiness had blocked; his love for Kageyama.
"Better than okay. I'll see you out there." Hinata said, and Kageyama made his way back out to the hall where the ceremony was.
***
Hinata took a few deep breaths even though he wasn't feeling nervous anymore. He couldn't stop smiling. His mom and sister were giving him odd glances, but he reassured them that he was okay. His mom kissed his cheek and went to find her seat while his sister smiled softly at him and waited for her turn to make her way down the aisle, towards the very end, where Kageyama was waiting for him.
The moment came too soon where it was his turn to make his way down the aisle, and Hinata could hear the shuffle of feet as everyone stood up to watch him. He snickered slightly, feeling silly and very much like a bride. But when he rounded the corner and looked up his smile vanished. All eyes were on him.
For some reason, his eyes could not find Tobio's. All he could see were hundreds of eyes on him, watching him. His eyes widened and his heart hammered again. He slowly walked down, legs shaking. He kept looking at the crowd and he couldn't meet Kageyama's gaze. His hands shook a little bit and he didn't know what to do with them. In the next second, he knew exactly what to do with them, planting them out in front of him as he fell face first onto the ground.
Cheeks burning, he heard everyone gasp. He stayed on his knees on the ground, hand over his face and eyes squeezed shut in pure embarrassment. Hinata was about to cry when he suddenly heard a warm voice say, "You just love to keep things spicy, don't you?"
He looked up, cheeks flaming hot as he stared up at a smiling Kageyama. His fiance was squatting down, holding out his hand. Hinata blinked at him, embarrassed.
"God... I'm so stupid." Hinata whispered as eyes continued to watch him. Kageyama smiled.
"Are you going to take my hand or are you going to just sit there and make me wait even longer?"
Hinata smiled, blush still apparent. He grabbed Kageyama's hand and stood up. He wrapped his arm around Kageyama's and held onto his forearm with his other hand. The two of them walked the rest of the way to the alter together.
They faced each other and Kageyama took Hinata's hands in his own, grinning widely down at him. It was nice to see him smile so much, Hinata thought. He truly loved it when Kageyama smiled.
The rest of the ceremony was a blur. Kageyama and Hinata didn't really listen to what was being said to them, more focused on checking each other out. Kageyama rubbed circles with his thumbs on the back of Hinata's hands and Hinata smiled up at him the entire time. They repeated vows to each other, something like dying for each other or whatever. Hinata didn't care, he just wanted to be married to the man of his dreams.
He slowly tuned in when Kageyama was squeezing his hand a little and saying, "I do."
Hinata's heart picked up, barely able to stand still. All around him there were people and some guy binding them together and his sister behind him and his mom in the crowd, but all he could see was Tobio. The man that was about to be his husband.
"...part?"
"..."
"Hinata?"
"Hm?"
Everyone in the crowd chuckled a bit. Hinata blushed.
"Do you take this ma--"
"Oh! Yes! Yes, yes, yes!"
"... You have to say 'I do', Shouyou." Kageyama snorted.
Hinata smiled lovingly, "I do. I do, I do, I do--"
Kageyama laughed loudly and it made Hinata laugh, too.
"Then, by the power..."
Kageyama and Hinata's eyes' bore into each other.
"I now pronounce you..."
They began to draw closer to each other, feeling each other's warmth and only each other's warmth.
"... and husband. You may kiss the—“"
Kageyama was on him in a second, grabbing him by the waist and pulling him in sharply, lips attacking his own. Hinata laughed into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Kageyama's neck, kissing him back sweetly. There were cheers all around them but Hinata could only focus on locking lips with his husband. Husband.
When they pulled apart, Kageyama immediately scooped up his smaller husband in his arms. Hinata squealed a bit and their audience laughed as the clapped for them. Kageyama carried him like a princess down the aisle, the two of them laughing along with everyone else as the made their way to the exit where a car was waiting to take them to the reception.
***
Kageyama kissed his husband sweetly, wrapping an arm around him.
"Still nervous?" he asked, staring down at Hinata.
"No way," he answered and the two boys laughed. They were in a car that was touring the city. They were giving their guests time to get settled in to the reception hall and also taking their time to enjoy their first hour as a married couple alone. So there they were, sitting in the back of a black car and drinking small glasses of champagne.
"I've never had this," Hinata admitted, "but it's good."
"It's really good," Kageyama agreed, "and expensive as hell."
Hinata leaned on his husband, sipping at his drink. He rested his head on his shoulder as they drove over a bridge over a large lake, admiring the view. The hand that was around Hinata circled his shoulder gently, rubbing up and down.
"'Yama," Hinata said sweetly, "I'm sorry I made a scene earlier."
Kageyama looked at him and kissed his forehead, "That doesn't matter. We're married now." he sighed softly, "But I... I was a little... scared in that moment."
"You? Scared?" Hinata said, pulling away a little, completely baffled.
"Yeah..." Kageyama said, "I thought... you were getting cold feet."
"Huh?"
"I heard your mom and sister screaming for me in the hallway and I immediately knew something was wrong."
"They..."
"I hurried out into the hallway and your sister lunged at me and dragged me to where you were. She said you were having a panic attack and... I thought maybe you... wanted to forget the whole thing."
"Oh, 'Yama."
He looked down at Hinata sweetly, "But that wasn't the case, right? You're all mine now."
Hinata smiled a little, "I was always yours."
Kageyama spluttered a little, grinning wildly. He sipped his drink a bit and then replied, "You're mine legally, though."
Hinata laughed, answering, "You're right." he stared down at the golden band on his finger. "I'm sorry I scared you. I was never going to call off the wedding. I... I don't know what came over me."
"You didn't answer my text, too. I got worried."
Hinata frowned, "...Sorry. I was nervous."
"Are you... frowning? On our wedding day?" Before he could answer, Hinata's face was being attacked by little kisses. He laughed, pushing Kageyama away.
"That's better," Kageyama grinned, kissing his forehead again.
"I love you," Hinata said softly.
"I love you, too," Kageyama answered.
The car pulled up to the reception building and Hinata and Kageyama ducked out of the car, thanking the driver. Kageyama took Hinata's hand in his.
"Ready?" he asked.
"Of course. I'm starving," Hinata admitted and Kageyama agreed.
They were greeted as expected when they entered, everyone congratulated them and they thanked everyone for attending. Kageyama didn't let go of Hinata's hand the entire time they greeted guests.
Eventually they found their seats and Tobio pulled out Hinata's chair for him ("Oh, such a gentleman!" "Shut up.") before sitting in their own seats.
"What's on the menu today?" Kageyama asked his husband and Hinata answered proudly,
"There's steak and rice or chicken and rice." Kageyama smiled in surprise,
"Steak and rice is my favorite," he admitted and Hinata replied,
"Right. And chicken is my favorite,"
When their food was brought out, the couple took turns feeding each other little pieces of their dishes. Kageyama fed him the tastiest looking pieces of meat from his plate as Hinata gave him a spoonful of rice.
They continued to feed each other as well as themselves as soft music played. Kageyama insisted on having another plate of steak, but pouted when Hinata told him to save room for when they would cut the cake.
Hinata sat back, slightly full, when they finished eating. Kageyama left him to go make sure their guests were enjoying their food like a good host, and Hinata stayed back to drink his wine. His sister, who sat beside him, talked about how beautiful the ceremony was and praised Shouyou for his choices. She told him that he looked stunning and that she had to fix her makeup afterwards because she had been crying. Hinata thought she was pretty whether she wore makeup or not.
Kageyama returned a while later, holding out his hand to Hinata. Confused, Hinata asked, "What?"
"Dance with me."
Hinata blushed, "I-I'm not really good at--"
"What, did you think I wasn't going to ask you?"
"You didn't really ask me, just kind of demanded--"
"Shouyou, will you dance with me?"
"'Please?'"
"Oh my god... Shouyou, my sweet, will you please dance with me?"
Hinata blushed, taking his husband's hand and allowing himself to be dragged upward. The two made their way to the middle of the dance floor and Hinata blushed as he felt eyes on them. Kageyama, however, seemed unfazed and grabbed Hinata by the hip with one hand and grasped his hand with the other. Hinata gripped his hand tightly and placed his other hand on Kageyama's upper arm and the two began to sway together.
Tobio gave Hinata a tiny grin, telling him softly, "You look beautiful."
Hinata turned away, blushing hotly, "S-Shush..."
"Really," Kageyama breathed, "you're stunning."
Hinata exhaled deeply, turning to the taller man and admitting, "I... I think you look really handsome."
Tobio smiled and leaned down to give him a short, soft kiss. They continued to move slowly together and continued to dance slowly even when the music got a little more upbeat and their guests joined them to dance around them. Kageyama continued to praise his husband, admiring the decor and saying things like, "you've really outdone yourself" or "I love the way the room is decorated." They were small gestures but they made Shouyou's heart sore.
Eventually they joined in their guests by dancing to each songs tempo, laughing loudly and jumping around furiously. It was a lot of fun, the two of them laughing at each other's stupid dance moves. They grew sweaty and tired quickly, however. They made their way back to their seats to take a break and sip on water and wine.
Hinata looked around, admiring his work. The place looked exactly how he wanted and it was even more perfect that Kageyama loved it, too. But every time he looked away, Shouyou's eyes would be drawn subconsciously back to Tobio. His husband was beyond handsome, and for every sweat bead that dripped down the side of his head Hinata was reminded of their time in the past when they had first met and they had gone to their first volleyball game together on the same team. It all felt like so long ago, and he never imagined he'd be where he was now.
Kageyama thought the same thing as he stared into Shouyou's eyes. Every time he looked deep into his eyes he saw Hinata perfectly hitting his tosses and recalling a promise the smaller man had made to him so long ago that he'd hit every one of his tosses. It made his heart swell and he instinctively drew his hand up to Hinata's face, tucking a piece of hair behind his husband's ear.
"What is it?" Hinata whispered softly, staring up at him with gorgeously dark eyes.
"Nothing," Kageyama replied, "you... you're everything to me."
Hinata smiled softly, grabbing Kageyama's face and leaning into him to kiss him gently. Kageyama closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around his smaller husband, tilting his head to intensify their kiss. He pulled away after a short amount of time and gave Hinata's lips a few small pecks before resting his forehead on the smaller boy.
"I love you," Tobio repeated for the millionth time that night, "I love you so much. I love you more than anything, Shouyou."
"Even volleyball?" Hinata teased, but Kageyama smiled softly and seriously answered,
"Yes."
Hinata blushed, not expecting a serious response. However, he began to stroke Kageyama's cheek, answering,
"I love you, too."
"More than volleyball?"
"... Let me think about it."
"Hey!"