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Mina is a very talented person. She can sing, dance, and act, but there’s one thing that she does best: evasion.
For an entire week, Mina manages to dodge Jeongyeon, Nayeon, and especially Momo. She even starts being extra friendly with people from her other classes, figuring she’ll need them if she never gets the chance to repair her relationship with the three.
However, she can’t avoid them forever, that is she can’t skip the class she has with Jeongyeon forever, so she comes early to the said class, with Jeongyeon coming into the room ten minutes after the lecture began then occupying the seat next to Mina’s.
Mina is pretty sure that Jeongyeon already knows, based on experience, that she is the type of student who would want minimal distraction in class, but she also knows that Jeongyeon is itching to talk to her since she keeps seeing Jeongyeon looking at her in her peripheral vision. To Mina’s relief, Jeongyeon refrains from passing her a note and waits for dismissal before cornering her.
“Were you sick” is the first question that Jeongyeon poses, and she only looks more worried when Mina answers negatively. “What happened to you then? You used to always be present in class even when you have flu.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Mina simply says since she probably can’t think of a good excuse, anyway. “I’m here now.”
Jeongyeon regards her for a second, her eyes narrowing, before she thankfully decides not to push it. “You’re going with us later for lunch, then, right?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Mina masks her shaky voice with a cough, and God, can she be any more obvious? “Enough about me, though. How are you?”
“I’m great. Actually, I just moved back into our old apartment.”
“Really?” Mina asks. Nayeon and Momo’s apartment only had two rooms, but Mina guesses Nayeon and Jeongyeon could use just one since they’re back together again. They couldn’t have kicked Momo out, right? “So the three of you are living together?”
“No, Momo moved out last week. Nayeon and I told her we were fine with rooming together, but she insisted.”
“What?! Why didn’t she te—” Mina stops, realizing she has no right to be mad at Momo for not telling her since Mina’s the one who’s been avoiding her friend recently. “Where did she move?”
“Uhh, I think you should ask her yourself,” Jeongyeon hesitates. “She’s actually been asking about you. She told me to discreetly find out if you’re mad at her or anything.”
“And this is you being discreet?” Mina quips. “But no, we’re fine. Why wouldn’t we be?”
There’s a whole lot of reasons why, one being the fact that she drunkenly broke down in front of Momo the last time they were together, but Jeongyeon doesn’t need to know that. Or maybe she already knows since Momo’s apparently talking to Jeongyeon about Mina. If that is the case, Mina decides she should change the topic again before Jeongyeon asks her any more questions about her situation with Momo.
“Anyway, I’m glad you’re back,” Mina says abruptly but truthfully. “Not as happy as Nayeon probably is, but you get it.”
“I think I’m the happiest one about it, really. Sure, New York is beautiful, but Nayeon isn’t there,” Jeongyeon carelessly confesses, only realizing what she just said when she meets Mina’s wide eyes. Her cheeks go red as she backtracks, “I-I mean, New York is beautiful, but it’s not home, you know?”
“I get it,” Mina nods as she mischievously smiles. “Your home is here,” she adds with so much emphasis on the second word that Jeongyeon can almost hear quotation marks enclosing it.
Jeongyeon sighs in defeat, probably accepting that the damage is done when she rambles, “Look, I may not be the most vocal person in the world when it comes to how I feel, but I do love Nayeon with all of my heart. She’s the best thing in my life, and I already knew that even before I left. Going away was a really stupid idea. Thank God she didn’t date anyone when I left.”
Huh, Mina thinks. Although she thought that Nayeon and Momo may have dated while Jeongyeon was gone, she realizes that it is easier to believe that they didn’t. Nayeon has always been head over heels when it comes to Jeongyeon, so it doesn’t make sense that she could have moved on that easily. Sure, Momo could have been a rebound, but Mina knows Nayeon is not the type of person who would do that.
Mina realizes that she just presumed as such because, when the three of them were together during Jeongyeon’s absence, Momo acted like Nayeon was the only person in the world, and Nayeon seemed very fond of Momo in return. However, Nayeon has always been affectionate towards her friends, and Mina never really saw the other two do anything that cannot be justified as just being friendly.
Okay, so maybe she shouldn’t have jumped to that conclusion.
Still, that doesn’t disprove her other theory. Mina still believes that Momo likes Nayeon. After all, just the other week, Momo already confessed that she’s in love, and although she did not explicitly say with whom, Mina thinks it’s safe to say that it’s with Nayeon because who else could it be?
If that is true, then that means that Momo’s feelings are unrequited and always have been unrequited, and doesn’t that make everything all the more tragic?
“What I’m trying to say is,” Jeongyeon continues, interrupting Mina’s thoughts, “I can’t imagine what it would be like if I’m not with Nayeon, so thank you for breaking my heart, I guess.”
“Make me your bridesmaid if you really want to thank me,” Mina quickly jokes back.
Jeongyeon snorts, and although she’s trying to act nonchalant, Mina knows that she’s fighting back a smile. “It’s too early to talk about that stuff, don’t you think?”
“Then I’ll remind you in a few years.”
“Whatever you say,” Jeongyeon yields as she stands up. “Anyway, I have to run. I have class in a few. Show up for lunch, okay?”
“Okay,” Mina finds herself answering as she waves at Jeongyeon, although there is a huge part of her that knows she might end up losing her nerve and blowing her friends off.
She sighs as she starts having so many conflicting thoughts that she can almost imagine a tiny devil and a matching mini-angel arguing while perched on each of her shoulders.
“You have other friends now. You should have lunch with them, instead.”
“But you can’t just ditch your old friends.”
“You mean like how they ditched you last year?”
“Still, you were with them during the happiest days of your college life, so you can’t just drop them like that.”
“Well, sometimes, even the closest friends have to grow apart.”
“But what about Momo?”
Mina groans.
Of fucking course.
Of course, everything comes down to Hirai Momo who is involved in most of Mina’s irrational decisions. There’s no use lying to herself. She’s going to meet her old friends later just so Momo will not be alone with the girl she is in love with and the person that the said girl is in love with. Mina is definitely going, even if she doesn’t want to and even if she’s not ready to face them, because she’ll definitely do everything she can just to make Momo happy.
Apparently, Mina doesn’t really have to do much.
The moment that Momo sees her approaching their table, her face lights up like a damn Christmas tree. Momo is still grinning at her even when Mina is already seated next to her, making Mina slightly conscious enough to ask, “W-what?”
“You’re here,” Momo utters with such awe, like she can’t believe it, and Mina’s heart stops beating for a full second.
“I’m here,” Mina repeats, finally smiling back.
“And just like that, everything is right in the world again,” Nayeon dramatically narrates from across the table. “I can’t believe the squad is finally back. I think I’m gonna cry.”
“Shut up and eat your lunch, babe,” Jeongyeon deadpans with no affection in her voice at all.
“Whatever you say, honey,” Nayeon replies, her voice dripping with sarcasm, but does what Jeongyeon told her to do anyway.
Nayeon and Jeongyeon have always been like this as a couple. They’re the type who aren’t really into public displays of affection and would instead pester each other and bicker like an old couple. Still, there’s something about the two of them that makes everyone find it obvious that they’re in love somehow.
That is, if Mina were Momo, she could watch Nayeon and Jeongyeon do nothing but bug each other, and it would still make her jealous and hurt.
Which is why she doesn’t understand why Momo seems so unfazed about it.
If Momo is even the slightest bit bothered, she’s doing a fantastic job hiding it because the entire time, she’s been laughing and smiling and being the epitome of a person who’s genuinely enjoying herself, and Mina’s so, so confused. As far as Mina is concerned, her friend never took acting classes, but with the way Momo was able to keep up this façade until the couple left, she might as well teach one.
In fact, she still looks cheery when it’s just the two of them left, her giddiness still unfaltering as she asks Mina what time her classes end.
“My schedule sucks,” Mina complains. “I have to go home at 5 everyday.”
“Really? Me, too. We can walk home together, if that’s alright with you.”
“Oh, yeah, Jeongyeon told me you moved out,” Mina recalls. “Where are you staying now?”
“Actually, I moved into your building,” Momo replies sheepishly. “I live two floors above yours.”
“For real?! Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I could’ve helped you move!”
“I know, I’m sorry,” Momo apologizes as she rubs the back of her neck while looking at the ground. “I just… I didn’t know if we were okay.”
Oh, right.
For a minute there, Mina almost forgets that she has been avoiding Momo after that night.
“I’m sorry,” Mina says, but she doesn’t say exactly what for because there are so many things she wants to apologize for. “Can we just forget about last time? I promise to handle my alcohol better from now on.”
“Oh, no, it’s not just about that night,” Momo begins to clarify. “It’s more about the year before that? You know, the one when you and I didn’t talk?”
“Momo—“
“Look, I know you hate confrontation, and you’ll probably just act like it’s nothing,” Momo interrupts, and Mina lets her because what Momo just said proves how well the girl knows her, “but I can’t act like it’s nothing because it’s not nothing. I was an asshole, and I have no excuse. I know that I can’t ever apologize enough, but I’m saying sorry anyway. I don’t know how I can ever make it up to you.”
“You can make it up to me by never mentioning it again,” Mina suggests, and when she sees Momo frown, she continues talking before her friend calls her out on being so stubborn. “As my Lit professor once said, ‘Don’t ruin a good today by thinking about a bad yesterday.’ Or something like that,” she finishes lamely. “But the point is that what’s done is done, so can you pretend like it never happened and just let me help you unpack your stuff later when we get back? I know you probably haven’t finished yet.”
Momo doesn’t seem too thrilled about Mina’s request, but if that is what Mina wants then, “Okay. I don’t want to trouble you, though. They’re just mostly filled with clothes, but I still have like a gazillion boxes left unpacked.”
“Just clothes?” Mina echoes. “How bad can that be? Stop exaggerating.”
Momo was not exaggerating.
(“How will all of this fit inside your closet?”
“I never said they will!”)
Mina doesn’t remember Momo having this much clothes, or maybe she just hid them well when she was living with Jeongyeon.
Turns out, Momo is good at hiding a lot of things because, along with Momo’s clothes, Mina finds her own scarves, shirts, pairs of socks, and other articles of clothing that she has been missing for a long time.
“Hey, I’ve been looking for this since forever, you thief!” Mina bellows, holding up a university shirt.
“Oh, yeah? How do you know it’s yours?” Momo refutes. “As far as I’m concerned, we go to the same university, Mina.”
“My initials are written here, see?” Mina pulls the tag out, showing it to Momo for proof.
“’MM’ doesn’t stand for Myoui Mina, it means MoMo,” the other girl reasons, emphasizing the syllables of her name.
“It’s mine, and we both know it.”
“Noooo,” Momo whines. “Let me have it pleeeease. It’s my favorite.”
“You have other uni shirts!”
“No, I don’t!”
“You’re wearing one now, genius!”
Mina feels smug for pointing it out as Momo looks down at her torso to see that she is in fact wearing a university shirt. However, that feeling quickly transforms into regret when Momo asks, “What are you taking about?” before reaching down to remove her shirt and tossing it aside.
At first, Mina just stares in shock, because Momo is standing there in just her bra and holy shit those abs, but her mind finally catches up with the situation when Momo starts moving closer to her. Her heart rate triples with every quick stride Momo takes, leaving her no choice but to wave the white flag before she dies of cardiac arrest.
“Oh my God! Just take it, you pervert!” Mina exclaims, absolutely flustered, and throws the piece of clothing which lands at Momo’s face.
Momo fakes a gasp as she removes it from her face. “Really? You’re willingly giving this to me? Why, thank you, Mina. You’re so kind-hearted and generous.”
Mina just shakes her head. “Why are you doing this to me? After I helped you unpack your stuff? You ungrateful peach.”
Momo pays her no mind and quickly puts the shirt on, just so Mina can’t change her mind anymore. “I am thankful. That’s why I’m gonna treat you for dinner.”
“You’re bribing me with food? Who do you think I am, you?”
“Oh, please. I know you love chicken just as much as I do.” Okay, that Mina can’t deny. “I’m sure you’re too tired to go out, so are you good with ordering in?”
“Yes, please,” Mina relents.
“Alright,” Momo says, as she feels her pockets while looking around. “Now, if I can just find my phone.”
When she fails to locate it inside her room, Momo steps out while Mina collapses on Momo’s bed, her legs dangling over one side. She takes a deep breath as she feels the exhaustion taking over and starts lightly swinging her aching legs when her right foot collides with something. Mina stands up then crouches only to find a box under the bed.
She takes it out, looking for a label, and opens it when she fails to find any, only to find her past staring back at her.
She takes out a stuffed animal first, a stuffed pig she won for Momo back when they went to a fair, and places it on her lap. She also sees the pink Polaroid camera that she got Momo for her birthday two years ago. Next, she finds a number of albums and novels that she’s swapped with Momo’s over the past few years. Finally, she finds a small container buried deepest inside the box.
She takes the lid off to see it filled with Polaroid pictures mostly of her and Momo. She remembers most of the memories they captured—the sceneries they saw when they went travelling on holidays, the food they ate when they tried new restaurants together, their wide smiles when they spent even the most uneventful days together.
There were also a few of them that she doesn’t remember taking, particularly the candid ones with only Mina in them.
“Okay, the food will be here in thirt—hey!” Momo exclaims as she moves back into the room with her phone in hand. “Who gave you the right to go through my stuff?”
“Umm, you,” Mina deadpans. “We’re unpacking remember?”
“Whatever, just put those back,” Momo says, moving closer to Mina to grab the photos in her hand.
“Why? A lot of these have my face in it, anyway.” Mina stretches her arm away to keep the pictures out of Momo’s reach. “Why did you even take these?”
“For blackmail, what else?”
“This is for blackmail?” Mina asks in complete doubt, holding up a picture of her looking fucking immaculate in her sleep.
“It’s supposedly for blackmail. It’s not my fault you look so angelic when you’re sleeping.” Momo reasons, and before the other girl can get flattered, she immediately adds, “It’s a completely different story when you’re awake, though. Shame.”
“I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that last part,” Mina says as she finally lets Momo take the photos and put them back in the box. However, Mina swats Momo’s hand away when she reaches for the stuffed animal. “Piguri’s not going back inside that box!”
“Okay, okay,” Momo relents, closing the box and pushing it back beneath her bed while muttering under her breath, “God, I’m with an actual child.”
“What did you say?!”
“What are you, twelve?!” Nayeon scoffs at Jeongyeon before mockingly repeating her girlfriend’s words, “I can’t, babe. I have class. Psh. We’re in college! Everyone cuts class!”
For the past two months, things have been going well for the four girls, with everything feeling just like old times, and this is the closest Nayeon and Jeongyeon have ever been to having a real fight. Mina glances at Momo who’s sitting beside her and gives her a look that silently asks if they should do anything about the couple quarrelling in front of them. They’ve decided to go out for dinner instead of ordering in, but Mina is now regretting that choice because her friends could have just had their squabble back in their apartment instead of a crowded restaurant. In response, Momo only shrugs, and Mina figures they should stay out of it anyway, so they both simply go back to eating their food.
“What are you, twelve?” Jeongyeon mimics, giving Nayeon a taste of her own medicine. “Says the one who’s asking me to cut class, which is a major by the way, to go with her to an amusement park.”
“I’ve never been to one, okay!” Nayeon says in her defense. “And it’s free admission for one whole day!”
“Then go by yourself,” Jeongyeon suggests, earning a glare from Nayeon, so she proposes an alternative, “or ask Momo here to go with you. Her classes end at 1 on Thursdays, right?”
When she hears that, Mina’s brows furrow. Momo’s classes end at 5 o’ clock everyday, so what was Jeongyeon talking about?
“No, my classes end at five,” is the muffled reply that Momo gives as she chews.
See?
“If you don’t want to go with me, just say it,” Nayeon frowns. “You don’t have to lie.”
“I’m not lying!”
“Yes, you are,” Jeongyeon claims. “You left your schedule taped to our fridge when you moved out, remember?”
Momo’s eyes widen in recognition. “Oh, right. I sit in some other classes in the afternoon, though.”
Nayeon and Jeongyeon look at each other before simultaneously starting to laugh. Nayeon’s still chuckling as she says, “You? Sitting in other classes? Please. You barely even attend your own classes.”
“The other sections have better profs,” Momo tries to reason, albeit unconvincingly, at least for Nayeon and Jeongyeon who are giving Momo looks of disbelief. “What? I do care about my education, okay?”
“Give her some credit, you guys,” Mina interferes, coming to Momo’s defense. “She’s telling the truth.”
“How do you know?” Jeongyeon asks. “Do you see her attend class?”
“Not really,” Mina answers honestly, “but I walk home with her everyday at five.”
At that, Nayeon and Jeongyeon look at each other again then turn to Momo with glints in their eyes.
“You wait four hours just to walk her home?” Jeongyeon asks Momo with a smirk, then groans after Momo seemingly gives her a kick under the table.
“No, I told you guys that I sit in,” Momo insists through gritted teeth.
“Anyway, I can go with you tomorrow if you want, Nayeon,” Mina proposes, abruptly going back to the original issue. “I’ll be free the entire afternoon. One of my profs cancelled our class because she’s going to a meeting, and another one cancelled because he can do whatever he wants.”
“I can skip my classes, too,” Momo suddenly offers. “I’m just sitting in, anyway. We three can all go together.”
“No, no, don’t skip, Momo,” Jeongyeon opposes, her smirk back in place. “You care about your education, right?”
“Yeah, just the two of us will be fine,” Nayeon agrees before turning to Mina. “Thanks, Minari. We’re gonna have so much fun, I promise. Tomorrow’s gonna be the best day of your life.”
“This is the best day of my life!” Nayeon exclaims, the adrenaline from riding a rollercoaster apparently still affecting her. Mina, on the other hand, can only smile as she clutches Nayeon’s arm because her knees are still feeling weak.
Despite the fact that Mina has felt her soul leave her body ten times so far, her day with Nayeon is admittedly going better than she expected. In fact, maybe it’s going a little too well.
Usually, when they go out, it’s with Jeongyeon or Momo or both, and sure, Mina’s been out alone with Nayeon before, but never in a setting this—well—date-like, and she’s definitely not prepared for it.
Maybe she’s just making it up to Mina after being irrationally mad at her during the past year, but Mina can’t help but feel like the other girl is overcompensating just a little bit.
Nayeon’s been sweet and nice and, for the lack of a better word, an absolute gentleman the entire time. She’s been putting Mina first, asking her what she wants to do and where she wants to go and only makes decisions when Mina asks Nayeon to pick. She’s been holding Mina’s hand while they walk and while they’re on scary rides. She even won Mina a stuffed penguin from a shooting booth and bent down to tie Mina’s shoelaces once.
As if those weren’t enough, Nayeon even remembers how Mina likes her food and asks the vendor to put a lot of ketchup in the other girl’s hotdog when she buys Mina one. Mina’s very much pleased, and the only downside is that eating it’s a little messy, and she can’t help but blush when Nayeon reaches out to wipe the ketchup from the side of lips.
“I’m sorry, is this weird for you?” Nayeon asks as she leans back on the bench they’re sitting on to put a little space between them two. “It’s a little weird for me, too. When I go out with someone, I’m usually the one being taken care of.”
Mina laughs at first, the image of Nayeon doing what she just did to Jeongyeon forming inside her head. Jeongyeon would have slapped her hand away for sure. But then she wonders if Momo used to do these stuff to Nayeon, too, and—
Shit, Mina, don’t even go there.
“You’re doing a great job, though,” she compliments Nayeon, immediately stopping that train of thought. She puts up her thumb and pointer finger as she adds, “I’m this close to calling you oppa.”
“You can call me oppa if you want,” Nayeon taunts, and okay, if Mina could get a dollar for every time Nayeon makes her blush today, she’d already have… like five dollars.
Actually, make that six because she notices Nayeon staring at her in silence after they’ve finished their food.
“What?” Mina asks. “Do I have something on my face again?”
“No, it’s just…” Nayeon sighs. “I’m sorry if I’ve been too sweet to you all day, but you just have this thing about you, you know? Like, it makes me want to protect you or something.”
Seven dollars and counting.
“I guess that’s part of your charm,” Nayeon continues, and Mina’s almost convinced that she’s never going to stop until Mina dies of embarrassment when suddenly, “Must be why Jeongyeon liked you first.”
Mina’s heart drops, and she looks at Nayeon’s face to see if now’s the time for her to run away, when she finds Nayeon’s genuine smile still in place as she rambles, “I’m sorry about everything, by the way, and for the record, I do trust you both. God, I even got jealous back at the airport, but I think I was just looking for a reason to hate Jeongyeon because she’s leaving. I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you.”
“I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you back when Jeongyeon told you she liked you, either,” Nayeon resumes. “Although, honestly, I was scared even when we started dating because I didn’t know how to measure up to you. Because I honestly get it, why people fall for you. You’re gorgeous and smart and you always put other people first even if they don’t know it or even when they don’t deserve it. Heck, if Jeongyeon weren’t in the picture, I probably would have fallen for you as wel--”
“Yeah, okay,” Mina suddenly says, her face redder than Nayeon has ever seen. “I get it. I forgive you. It’s all good. We’re good. We’re great.”
“Aww, don’t get all shy on me,” Nayeon teases. “Okay, I’ll stop, but you really should stop making your best friends fall in love with you, Mina.”
“Hey, that was one time,” Mina says in jest, pertaining to Nayeon’s girlfriend and figuring it’s safe to talk about it like this now.
“Was it, though?” Nayeon asks with a raised eyebrow, and before Mina can even think about what Nayeon is implying, she’s being pulled away from the bench. “Come on, let’s get some sweets before we try the horror house.”
“H-horror house?”
“Aww, you’ll be fine, Minari,” Nayeon assures Mina with a rub on her back. “I’ll keep you safe.”
It’s safe to say that Mina’s been able to put her life back together.
Jeongyeon is back, her friendship with Nayeon is back, and her very much platonic relationship with Momo is back.
Not to mention, when she walks out of her last class of the day, she’s got two gorgeous ladies waiting for her outside the door.
Wait, two?
“Mina-unnie,” the taller girl greets, taking in Mina’s surprised face and continuing, “you forgot, didn’t you?”
“Shit, I did,” Mina admits. “I’ve been stressing out about my exams, and my mind’s all over the place today, and God, I’m so sorry.”
“That’s okay,” the girl replies as Momo comes closer to the pair, “unless you’ve already made other plans?”
“Oh, Momo, this is Tzuyu, my friend from my Bio class,” Mina introduces, and Tzuyu gives a small wave while Momo just gives her a tight-lipped smile in return. “I’m sorry for making you wait, but I can’t walk home with you today. I forgot we’re supposed to do our group work.”
“Group work?” Momo asks with her eyebrows furrowed. “Just the two of you?”
“Umm, yeah.”
“Then that’s pair work, not group work,” Momo corrects as she crosses her arms.
Mina narrows her eyes. Since when did Momo care about semantics? “Okay, pair work then.”
“Are you guys gonna do it at the library? I’ll walk you there.”
Tzuyu answers for Mina, telling Momo that they’ll have to discuss a lot and will probably be too noisy for the library, so they’ll have to work somewhere else. She supplies the name of a café, but Momo doesn’t even spare Tzuyu a glance and instead directs her next question towards Mina.
“That’s kinda far, and you might finish late. Won’t you have trouble going home?”
“That’s okay,” Tzuyu butts in again. “I brought my car, so I can bring her home afterwards.”
At that, Momo finally looks at Tzuyu but not without a scoff. “Of course you have a car.”
Mina scowls. She’s never seen Momo act this rude towards anyone. She must be really upset about getting ditched, so Mina places a hand on Momo’s arm and thinks of a way to make it up to her. “Hey, I’ll come by your place as soon as I get back. I’ll bring some takeout, okay?”
At the mention of food, Momo’s face softens a little. “Okay. But I’m going straight to your place to raid your chocolate stash while you’re gone, just so you know.”
In response, Mina rolls her eyes good-humoredly. “You always do that anyway. You have your key, right?”
“Yup,” Momo confirms, finally smiling. “I’ll see you at home,” she says, surprising Mina with a kiss on the cheek before waving goodbye and walking away.
Mina’s ears are still tinted pink when she hears Tzuyu asking if they should go. In fact, she’s still in a mild daze even when they’re already doing their schoolwork in the coffee shop.
“Are you okay, unnie?” Tzuyu finally asks. “Or are you still worried about your jealous girlfriend?”
“Girlfriend?” Mina chuckles tensely, feigning innocence even if she knows exactly whom Tzuyu is pertaining to. “What girlfriend?”
“So she’s not your girlfriend?”
“She’s not my girlfriend,” Mina confirms, wondering why she’s feeling embarrassed when she knows she’s telling the truth.
“And you’re sure about that?” Tzuyu asks slowly and doubtfully.
“I would know if I’m in a relationship, don’t you think?” Mina asserts.
“How should I know? We’re not in a relationship.” Tzuyu replies apparently jokingly, except, “Well, at least not yet.”
At first, Mina laughs, and Tzuyu’s smiling too, but then Mina realizes that the other girl may be serious.
“Wait, are you flirting with me?” Mina asks, just to be sure, because she’s never been great at guessing whether someone really likes her or they’re just joking around or just being nice.
“I’ve actually been flirting since the start of the semester, but thanks for finally noticing,” Tzuyu verifies, and both Mina’s heart and mind start racing.
In all aspects, Tzuyu is basically perfect. She’s kind, stunning, intelligent, not to mention very compassionate despite being tremendously privileged, so it’s safe to say that Mina would very much like the idea of dating her.
Or at least, she would if their circumstances were different. Maybe in the future, when Mina’s gotten rid of her problematic feelings for her friend. Maybe someday, when Mina doesn’t get flustered whenever that said friend gives her a smile or a hug or a very uncharacteristic kiss on the cheek.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m ready,” she begins, causing Tzuyu to sigh gloomily, which makes Mina feel the need to clarify what she wants to say. “Look, I’m not saying no—“
“Anything other than a yes is no,” Tzuyu interrupts with a smile so dejected it makes Mina’s heart feel heavy, “but that’s okay. I understand.”
Mina sighs, too, and focuses on the earlier part of other girl’s statement to alleviate the tension. “That was a line from a song, right?”
Tzuyu nods. “You know it?”
“It’s one of my all-time favorites.”
“It’s tragic,” Tzuyu deadpans before chortling lightly, “but, okay, it’s my favorite, too. That means you’re a sad person like I am, doesn’t it?”
“Aren’t we all?” Mina counters rather profoundly.
“I was hoping you wouldn’t say that,” Tzuyu replies, “but since you haven’t found it yet, I hope you find happiness soon because you deserve nothing less.”
“Tzuyu—“
“Unnie, spare me the consolation speech,” Tzuyu interjects. “Don’t worry about my heart, and concentrate on this one instead,” the girl adds, pointing at the illustration of a heart in the middle of their Biology slides about the circulatory system.
For a few seconds, Mina just stares Tzuyu, and the other girl stares back until she rolls her eyes. “Seriously. We’re good. I mean, it’s your loss anyway.”
Mina laughs, knowing the younger girl is just kidding although there’s a small part of Mina that believes there’s some truth behind it.
“Alright, fine,” she concedes before turning her full attention back at the task at hand.
“Fine,” Momo scoffs. “Don’t tell me.”
“There’s nothing to tell,” Mina presses, setting her empty takeout carton on the center table. She scowls as she watches the other girl does the same. She’s had nothing but good times with Momo lately, so she doesn’t understand why Momo’s being particularly difficult today.
“You just told me that your dear friend Chungmi—“
“Tzuyu,” Mina corrects.
“—Tzuyu,” Momo reiterates and rolls her eyes, “whatever her name is, just confessed to you, and you’re saying that’s nothing? Do you even know what nothing means? You’re supposed to be the smart one, right?”
“Look, I already told you what happened!” Mina asserts before she recounts, “I told her I wasn’t ready, she said it’s okay, we finished our work, she drove me home, so now I’m here, and now you’re acting stupid!”
“I’m not stupid!”
“I didn’t say you’re stupid! I said what you’re doing is stupid!” Mina lets out a frustrated exhale as she shakes her head. “Why are you even acting like this? Are you jealous?”
“What do you think?”
At first, Mina thought it was a rhetorical question, because the answer is obviously no why the hell would I be jealous, but Momo is looking at her expectantly, and so, “Well, it’s not like you like me or anything.”
“Who says I don’t?”
Mina pauses, and for a while, she just stares back at Momo who’s looking at her so intensely, and God, she knows exactly what Momo meant by that, and she wants to believe it, but she just can’t. She shakes her head because it can’t be true. It just doesn’t make any sense. “You couldn’t have just moved on that easily.”
And Mina doesn’t get it, why Momo looks so damn confused as she asks, “Moved on from what?”
“From Nayeon, who else?”
“What? What about Nayeon?”
Seriously?
Mina has made it clear that she knows, so she really doesn’t understand why Momo can’t simply admit it. “Cut it out, Momo. Are you telling me you never liked her?”
“What? Never!” The other girl denies. “I-I mean, okay, we kissed once but we were drunk and it meant nothing because she never stopped loving Jeongyeon and I—“
Momo halts.
“You what?” Mina demands.
“I liked you since the first time we met,” Momo finally confesses.
What?
Mina is stunned. Her mind is usually quick when it comes to solving puzzles and making sense of things, but this? This one she’s having trouble processing. “But… that doesn’t make any sense. You even ignored me for a year!”
“Because I’m not Jeongyeon!” Momo reasons, making Mina more confused than ever. “She liked you too, and you broke her heart, but she ended up just fine because she had Nayeon whom she loved even if she didn’t know it back then.
“If I told you I liked you, you would have broken my heart, too, but I’m not Jeongyeon, you see? If that happened to me, I can’t keep being your friend, not after that. Besides, she had Nayeon to put her back together, but me? I would have had no one, Mina, because for me it was just you. It has always been just you.”
At the end, Momo’s voice cracks. She stops and looks away from Mina as a stray tear runs across her cheek. She keeps her gaze away as she resumes, “I wanted my feelings to go away, but the more I get closer to you, they just keep getting worse. I knew I had to do something because I wanted to keep you, Mina, even if it’s just as a friend, so I tried to detach myself from you. I only meant to distance myself a little, but somehow I ended up losing you completely. I thought maybe I deserved that anyway because I was inconsiderate and selfish and I should have thought about how it would make you feel. But then Jeongyeon came back, and seeing her and Nayeon together gave me hope because if they can go back to the way they were before, maybe we can do that too.
“That was why I started fixing things with you. That was why I started talking to you again. That was why I went here that night.”
Mina flinches at the mention of the first time Momo went to see her after a year. She remembers it too well, remembers everything she did, remembers everything she said, and, shit, every word she said seems even more wrong now that she knows everything.
“That night, I thought you already knew. That night, when you asked me if I was in love, when you told me you were rooting for me— fuck,” Momo scoffs, angrily wiping her tears away. “I can’t believe that’s what you meant.”
When Momo’s voice breaks, Mina can almost feel her heart do the same. Her chest aches, and she knows there’s nothing she can do to take back everything she did and said, and, God, why did she have to be so blind?
She realizes she’s already crying, too, as she chokes out, “I thought you were in love her!”
“I was in love with you!” Momo yells, and Mina feels her heart clench.
She’s always dreamed of hearing Momo say it, but she never imagined that it will happen this way. When she imagined it, both of them were smiling, but instead they are now on the brink of breaking down. And when she imagined it, Momo didn’t use the word—
“Was?” Mina repeats.
Momo lets out a short humorless laugh before clarifying, “I was and still am in love with you, but does it matter?”
Of course it does, is what Mina wants to say, because if there’s anything worse than unrequited love, it’s a love lost before you even knew it was returned all along.
“What do you think?” is what she asks instead, echoing Momo’s past question.
“I think…” Momo hesitates, her voice suddenly low and quiet. “I think I should go.”
Momo stands up, and Mina watches Momo walk away, and déjà fucking vu, didn’t this already happen before?
Mina has made so many mistakes before, that is quite clear, and sometimes she makes the same mistake twice, but this time, she will make sure that she won’t.
“Wait,” Mina calls out. She waits for Momo to stop walking, but when she doesn’t, Mina stands up, and cries a little louder, “Wait, Momo, please.”
At that, Momo finally stops and faces Mina. “Please what, Mina?” She asks, and it hurts Mina, how Momo slumps her shoulders like she’s defeated and exhausted and done. “Tell me what I’m supposed to do.”
Mina doesn’t answer right away. There are a lot of things that she wants to ask from Momo, and she doesn’t even know where to start.
Forgive me.
Stay.
Never leave me.
Be with me.
Love me endlessly.
There are a lot of things that she wants, needs Momo to give her, but they’ve got time. She’s already waited this long, and these words can wait, too.
She only says the ones that can’t.
“Kiss me, you idiot.”