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“So...is it some sort of amnesia?” Shiro ventured.
He glanced across the table at Lance, who immediately went beet red and tucked his chin the second he noticed Shiro looking at him. He’d been behaving strangely around Shiro since returning from his planetside mission with Keith a few hours ago. It was as if Shiro was suddenly a stranger to him. Lance blushed whenever he saw him and could barely manage to speak to him, stammering and calling him ‘sir’ whenever he did.
Shiro had thought Lance was just joking around at first, and he figured if he simply refused to acknowledge the behavior Lance would give it up. After several hours had passed and Lance was still in the same state, he’d attempted to confront him and tell him to stop goofing around. When Lance had burst into tears, that was when Shiro realized something was very wrong. He’d immediately gathered everyone for a meeting to discuss Lance’s condition.
“It’s embarrassing is what it is,” Keith muttered. “Look, can I please be excused? I already told you everything that happened while we were collecting samples. I have no idea why he’s acting like this.”
“Keith,” Shiro said with a sigh. “Just run it by us one more time. Try to think if there was anything unusual he might have encountered. Maybe a poisonous plant or something.”
“I compared our records of the planet’s flora against Terran DNA before we arrived,” Allura said. “There’s nothing down there that should be toxic to humans.”
“What about animals? Insects?” Shiro asked.
“Oh,” Keith said before Allura could answer. “Lance might have been bitten by something. I heard him go ‘shit’ and smack his arm at one point. He didn’t act weird or anything after that, though. Not until we got back.”
“Specifically not until he saw Shiro,” Pidge added. “I saw him when you guys first got back and he seemed normal. Well. Normal for Lance, at least.”
“Did I...did I trigger some sort of allergic reaction?” Shiro said, absolutely puzzled. “Maybe the elements in my Galra arm and the insect bite…”
A loud laugh suddenly rang from the end of the table. Everyone turned towards the source, finding Coran sporting a huge smile.
“Oh ho, I think I know what our little Lance encountered,” he said. “Good news, it’s completely harmless! Lance was bitten by an insect we used to refer to as a ‘love bug’ on Altea.”
“Oh. Oh my.” Allura was suddenly grinning too, looking between Shiro and Lance. “Yes...I believe Coran is right. The healing pods won’t be able to do anything about Lance’s condition, unfortunately, but it should clear up relatively soon. In Alteans it lasted a day or two at most.”
“But what exactly is Lance’s condition?” Shiro asked. “Why is he only behaving like that around me?”
“I think I can guess this one,” Hunk chimed in. “It’s because the love bug’s bite makes the person get all shy and lovey-dovey around someone they like, isn’t it?”
“Hunk!” Lance whined, shooting his friend a mortified look before slumping down against the table and pulling his hoodie up to hide his face.
“Dude, come on. Nobody?” Hunk said, looking around at his friends. “You guys seriously consider yourself space nerds and you’ve never heard of sex pollen? Well, I mean it’s a bug in this case, but same concept.”
“Oh no, sex pollen is an entirely different beasty, my boy,” Coran corrected. “Assuming of course, you’re referring to the same sort we had on Altea.”
“According to Earth fanfiction, sex pollen is like...some weird spores that make you wanna bone like crazy,” said Pidge.
“Yes, that’s the sort on Altea! The love bug’s bite, however, doesn’t induce sexual desire. It just makes it impossible for the afflicted person to suppress any romantic feelings they may harbor when they’re around the object of their affection.”
“Ok, I gotta say, that’s adorable,” Hunk said, grinning at Lance, who now had his hands over both his ears in an attempt to block out everything that was being said.
“Lance...has romantic feelings for me, then?” Shiro said carefully.
Lance’s head shot up, his face even redder than before.
“NO!” he declared loudly. “I-I just really...look up to you and admire you. L-like as a hero and stuff! I’m not...I don’t…”
He trailed off, groaning and tucking his chin again.
“Ok, now that Shiro finally knows what the rest of us have known from day 1, can we please end this horribly awkward meeting?” Keith groused.
Shiro blinked, wanting Keith to clarify what he meant by “what the rest had already known”, but decided against it.
“Sure...yeah, let’s just…” he paused and looked to Coran. “You’re sure this doesn’t have other side effects that could hurt him?”
“He should be fine,” said Coran. “Keep an eye on him, though, and let me know if anything unusual happens.”
Shiro thought Coran’s suggestion to ‘keep an eye’ on Lance was pretty pointless, given the fact Lance was probably going to stay as far away from him as possible after the uncomfortable meeting they’d just had. As they all got up to leave, he felt his heart sink watching Lance dart out the door. He and Lance had just recently began to become closer friends, and he feared this incident would undo all the progress they’d made in their relationship.
He wanted to chase after Lance and assure him he wasn’t upset, but forced himself to go to the lounge area on the ship instead. It would probably do more harm than good to try and talk to Lance when he wasn’t able to control what he said.
Shiro found a tablet lying around and tried to distract himself with it, reading through some of the Altean documentation Pidge had translated. It was difficult to focus -- all he could think about was the fact Lance had apparently harbored a crush on him for a while...and everyone but him had known it.
Lance was cute and had a sense of humor Shiro secretly liked, and honestly...had he not been Lance’s leader, he might have allowed himself to develop a crush of his own. He was a bit ashamed to admit it, but now that he knew Lance had feelings for him, he felt a strange sense of giddiness in his heart. He caught smiles creeping up on him as he sat there reading, thinking of his teammate.
It had been strange to see Lance so flustered and shy when he was normally such a flirt...and rather adorable, admittedly. At least Shiro would have his memories of today to ease the ache of Lance inevitably distancing himself from him after all of this…
“Um...h-hey…”
Shiro glanced up, surprised to see Lance hovering near the doorway of the lounge. His face was just as red as it had been all day, and he wouldn’t meet Shiro’s eye.
“Hi Lance,” Shiro said softly. “Are you feeling ok?”
“Yeah...I…” he hesitated. “I’m still...under the effects of the bite. I started to feel sick when I went back to my room so I told Coran and he said, um...he said I’d feel better if I was around you. I-if you don’t mind, I just...”
“Of course not, Lance. Come sit down,” Shiro said, patting the cushion next to him.
Lance cautiously approached the couch, keeping a good bit of space between them when he sat down.
“Do you want me to get you a tablet so you can read or play some games while we wait it out?” Shiro offered.
“No, I…” Lance chewed at his bottom lip. “I uh...I kind of wanted to talk.”
“If you’re comfortable with that, that’s fine, Lance. But if you’d rather wait--”
“No. No, I want...I want to talk to you while I’m still...like this.” Lance finally looked over at him, though his blush deepened when their gazes met. “This way you know I’m being serious…”
Lance took in a deep breath before continuing.
“I...I really do admire you and think of you as my hero,” he said shyly. “Like back at the Garrison, I even uh...had a poster of you in my room…”
“Oh god. That terrible recruitment poster the Garrison put out?” Shiro said, unable to restrain a laugh. That thing had been so cheesy -- they’d put him in a vintage spacesuit sans helmet, then told him to give a thumbs up and his biggest smile. The final result was a poster featuring his goofy picture against a poorly photoshopped background of the night sky, with the text ‘Go to NEW HEIGHTS with the Galaxy Garrison’ at the bottom.
“It wasn’t terrible! Not the one I had, at least...was there, um...was there more than one poster of you the Garrison made?”
“Just the one, fortunately.”
“Oh my god, that was such a creep thing to ask,” Lance groaned, averting his gaze and clutching at his hair. “I swear to god I wasn’t, like, stalking you at the Garrison or anything! I-I just...god, why did I even mention the poster, I--”
“I don’t think you’re creepy, Lance,” Shiro said. He wanted to reach out and give Lance a reassuring touch on the shoulder or knee, but knew better than to try. “I’m honestly kind of flattered you had my poster and considered me your hero.”
“R-really?” Lance said, peeking up at him. He looked wary. “You’re not just saying that?”
“No, I mean it. I’m happy knowing I inspired you.”
Lance was quiet for a moment, fiddling with his hands, before he finally built up the nerve to speak again.
“You were the whole reason I decided to become a pilot,” he said. “I was at some of the air shows at the Garrison where you flew with the demonstration squad, and I could always tell which jet was yours...you just had this...this way of flying I’d never seen before, like… I don’t know. There was just something special about you...I guess it’s the same thing that allowed you to bond with Black so easily.”
“Well, that’s kind of you to say, Lance, but there’s really nothing that special about me,” Shiro said, smiling at him. “I guess I just became such a good pilot because it was all I focused on. I didn’t really have much of a social life at the Garrison.”
“You knew Keith,” Lance said, his shy tone suddenly turning into a sneer. His words were dripping with jealousy.
“I met Keith in my final year as a cadet when I was assigned to be his mentor. We didn’t really become friends until I was nearing graduation.” Shiro’s smile twitched a little at the way Lance was watching him -- he knew what Lance wanted to hear. “Keith and I were never a couple, Lance.”
“Everybody sure thought you guys were.”
“Yeah. We tried to kill those rumors, but after a while it was easier to just let people assume what they wanted. Made things awkward between Keith and me for a while, but we got over it.”
“It can’t have been more awkward than this,” Lance muttered. “Are we gonna...get over this? I...I understand if you don’t want to hang out with me anymore, but I just…I really like...like spending time with you, and...”
“Lance, I was actually worried you wouldn’t want to spend time with me anymore,” Shiro admitted. “I definitely don’t want us to avoid one another just because of this.”
Shiro specifically didn’t say he wanted to ‘get over it’, because truthfully...he wasn’t sure if he did. Though he’d thought it best he avoid becoming involved with any of his teammates lest it negatively affect the team dynamic, would it really be so wrong to maybe just... try with Lance?
Lance looked relieved for a brief moment hearing that Shiro still wanted to hang out, but his expression quickly became anxious again.
“I’ve had a crush on you forever,” Lance said after a moment. “I didn’t realize that’s what it was at first. Like I just thought ‘This guy is my hero! So what if I think he’s hot, I mean it’s just a fact! I’m not like, into him like that.’ I said that like every time I talked about you to Hunk. Which was...a lot of times. One day he was just like, ‘Dude, no. Hate to break it to you, but you are definitely into him like that.’. And I uh...I had to lie down for a while and think about that.”
“I was kind of in shock when I got my first crush on a guy too,” Shiro said, unabashedly taking advantage of an opportunity to mention he just so happened to be attracted to men. Lance definitely took note of that little tidbit, his eyebrows raising at Shiro’s admission.
“O-oh, so you’re um...I mean I don’t want to assume anything--”
“I’m bisexual. I guess I should have mentioned it to the team at some point, but it’s just never come up before. If I’d known it might help you to know you’re not alone, I would have told you sooner.”
“H-heh...well, uh, I mean...you and I aren’t the only ones on the team who aren’t straight, so I never felt out of place or anything, but I...it’s um...g-good to know you’re...um…”
Lance seemed to be struggling to restrain himself, and Shiro suddenly remembered he was essentially under the influence of a truth serum. He might not be able to prevent himself from blurting out something he really didn’t want Shiro to hear.
“Lance,” Shiro said. “We can stop talking if you need.”
“I can’t!” Lance exclaimed. “I don’t...I don’t want to, I just...oh god, I know it’s never going to happen, but knowing you like guys means there’s like, at least a one in a bazillion chance you could be attracted to me and... I’m so happy right now, I want to...I want to hug you and I...I’m so sorry S-Shiro, I--”
Screw it.
Shiro closed the space between them and pulled Lance into a tight embrace. He expected Lance to freak out and pull away, and was prepared to let him go if he struggled, but Lance flung his arms around him and pressed tighter against him instead.
“Oh god. This feels so good,” Lance sighed.
Shiro chastised himself for feeling a spark of arousal at his words, and shifted so that Lance wouldn’t feel the sudden heat between his thighs. Coran had specified that the condition caused by the love bug’s bite didn’t have anything to do with sex, and he felt a little guilty for his body’s reaction to Lance’s affection.
He was silent, glad for the fact he wasn’t under the influence of a bite himself at the moment. Had he been, he would have told Lance just how good it felt to him too, how right it felt…
“I...I’m hugging my hero,” Lance babbled as they continued to embrace. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I’m even thinking this, but I wish I could take a selfie of us right now. I wish I had my poster of you so you could sign it and...Jesus, I know we’ve been friends for months but my stupid brain is stuck in fanboy hell right now, Shiro.”
“It’s ok,” Shiro said, laughing softly. “It’s cute. You...you’re cute.”
Shiro felt Lance tense and mentally smacked himself. An awkward silence followed.
“Please don’t say things like that,” Lance finally whimpered. “Don’t make me think I’ve got a chance. It’s not fair, Shiro--”
“I...I’m not…” Now Shiro was finding himself stammering, having trouble finding the right words. “Listen...you’ve got more than a chance… do I?”
Lance pulled back and blinked at him.
“Do you what?”
“Have a chance,” Shiro said, feeling himself blush. “With um...with you.”
Lance just blinked again.
“Actually, I...I think we should wait until you’re back to normal until you answer that,” Shiro said, pressing a finger to Lance’s lips. “I know what you’re going to say when I move my hand, but I want you to tell me again once the effects of the bite are gone.”
Sure enough, Lance gave him the answer he’d been expecting as soon as he took his finger from his lips. Shiro just hoped it would be the same answer he gave once he was back in control of his words.
Shiro and Lance had remained cuddled on the couch in the lounge area for a few hours, eventually dozing off together. Shiro was awoken some time later when he felt Lance pulling himself out of Shiro’s embrace.
“You ok?” Shiro had asked sleepily.
“Yeah...I uh, think I’m back to normal now.”
“Oh…”
“I’m gonna...gonna go to my room for a little while. I’ll...I’ll see you later.”
It had been some time since Shiro watched Lance rush out of the room, and he wondered if he was being foolish by remaining in the lounge area, waiting for him to return.
‘He’s probably never going to speak to me again,’ Shiro thought, cursing himself for giving in to his own interest in Lance. ‘Just because he has a crush on me doesn’t mean he actually wanted anything to come of it…he never would have even told me if it hadn’t been for the love bug…’
It was better for some fantasies to remain just that -- dreams that always played out perfectly in one’s mind forever and ever, untainted by all the ugly truths of reality. The Shiro of Lance’s fantasies was larger-than-life, a hero that was perfect at everything...and that definitely wasn’t what Shiro was in real life.
He was just about to give up on waiting and go to his room when Lance finally returned.
“Hey,” Lance said from the doorway, smiling awkwardly and giving him a little wave before tucking his hands into the pockets of his jacket.
“Hey,” Shiro said, offering him a weak smile of his own.
“So uh...I got Coran to do some tests, and he confirmed it’s out of my system. I’m back to good ol’ regular Lancey Lance.”
“That’s good.”
Shiro already missed his adorable blush.
“Yeah,” Lance said, walking over to the couch. Shiro felt his heart race, thinking Lance was going to sit next to him, but he remained standing when he reached him. “So you said you wanted me to give you my answer to...that...when I was back to normal.”
“Lance, I shouldn’t have taken advantage of your condition--”
“Ah, ah!” Lance interrupted him before he could continue.
“...I understand that you were under the effects of a--”
“Nope!” Lance said, interrupting him again. “No take-backsies, buddy. You asked me out.”
“I’m sorry, Lance…”
“Sorry?” Lance suddenly grabbed his shoulders and looked him dead in the eyes. “What the hell are you sorry for, Shiro? Being a gorgeous, awesome guy that wants to date me?”
Shiro felt heat rise to his face. Now that Lance had his spunk back, he was playing the part of the shy, nervous one.
“Do you...not want to date me?” Lance asked when Shiro didn’t reply, heartbreak in his voice.
“No, Lance, I...I do, but...I just think I might disappoint you. You see me as this idol, this guy that’s got everything together, and...that isn’t me. It wasn’t me when I was back at the Garrison, and it definitely isn’t me now…”
Shiro found himself reflexively rub his human hand over the metal of his prosthetic as he spoke.
“Wha-- Shiro, I don’t think of you like that!” Lance said. “That bite just put my brain into stupid fanboy mode! I mean yeah, that’s how I thought of you back at the Garrison, before I knew you...but I’ve seen the real you now. And no offense to the Garrison’s poster boy, but I like the real you even better.”
Lance placed a finger under Shiro’s chin, prompting him to tilt his face up.
“My answer’s still yes,” Lance said. “But...I know I said no take-backsies, but if you really don’t want to…”
Shiro gently tugged Lance down into his lap, pressing their lips together. When he drew back, he was pleased to see Lance’s blush had returned.
Shiro flinched when Lance suddenly lifted his hand and smacked himself across the face.
“Ok,” Lance said, sounding stunned. “I’m definitely awake right now. That just happened in real life. And wow that really hurt.”
Shiro chuckled and raised his prosthetic hand to the place Lance had smacked himself, letting the cool metal soothe his skin.
“That was a yes, just in case I wasn’t clear enough,” Shiro said.
Shiro pulled him into another, deeper kiss that lasted much longer than the first. The longer the kiss, the darker Lance blushed, apparently. Shiro was glad to know the shy, somewhat timid side of Lance he’d seen under the effects of the love bug’s bite wasn’t entirely lost to him. Perhaps it would now take a bit of coaxing to get Lance to show that side of himself, but it was good to know it was still there.
“Um, actually...I kinda lied about something,” Lance muttered when they parted for air after sharing their fifth kiss.
“Oh…?” Shiro’s heart sank.
“Yeah, I um...I’m not totally over the whole hero worship thing. Like I know you’re not a literal god or whatever now, but...I still really look up to you and think you’re amazing. You’re still my hero.”
Lance said this so sweetly, his eyes full of adoration. Shiro’s temporary worry quickly warped into an overwhelming sense of affection for his new boyfriend.
“I’m glad,” he said softly, petting Lance’s hair. “I’ll be sure to work hard so I can retain that honor.”
“Aaaaand since you’re totally my hero, I was still kind of hoping you’d be willing to give me your autograph.”
Shiro snorted.
“You’re serious.”
“Dead serious.”
“Uh, well, do you have something for me to sign?”
He probably shouldn’t be enjoying this kind of attention as much as he was.
Lance reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a pen and what appeared to be a photo. Upon closer inspection, Shiro realized the photo was of them -- it seemed to have been taken a few hours ago when they’d both been passed out on the couch.
“Where did you get this?”
“Apparently our friends are nosy assholes and they came to spy on us while we were sleeping,” Lance said, though he sounded more amused than upset. “Pidge got pics for ‘blackmail’ or something. Pff. Yeah, because anyone in their right mind would have a problem being seen cuddling with you.”
“Or you,” Shiro added. He liked the way Lance perked up at that.
“Anyways I got her to print one for me to put in my room. You can ask her for one too...uh, if you want one…”
“I definitely want one,” Shiro said, smiling down at the photo in his hand. “All right. Let’s see if I can manage a decent signature. I haven't tried writing in cursive since my arm was replaced.”
His handwriting was a bit messier than it had been before, but all that mattered was that it was legible enough for Lance to read his message:
To Lance
Love, Shiro