Chapter Text
Tony stared at his hands. The ghost pressure of holding the child still ever present. Five words echoing deafeningly in his mind.
“I don’t want to go.”
A sob slipped passed his bared teeth. Shoulders heaving, head reeling, and body shaking Tony mourned a loss he was far from equipped to deal with. Peters last words were wasted on Tony’s ears.
He had an Aunt at home, who was waiting with no inclination of where he was, and of why he’d not returned from the field trip.
Overwhelming tides of guilt crashed against Tony and he struggled to keep himself from crumbling to the ground.
Both Peters were gone, Strange was gone, Mantis was gone, Drax was gone. The only thing he had was Nebula and a shred of hope that Pepper and the others were somehow safe at home.
Thinking of Pepper only brought new waves of guilt. He’d practically begged her to start a family, dropping hints with the dream; even promised no surprises.
Then he boarded the ship.
He’d not only left Pepper with no warning, but had also led Peter directly to his all but promised demise. A string of curses filled Tony’s mind, not particularly aimed at one entity, but rather the universe as a whole.
Peter was a kid, sixteen years old, not even able to drive a car yet, and was willing to sacrifice everything for the world. He had his whole entire life ahead of him and Tony had signed off on the end by handing over those suits.
He should have sent him home and made sure he stayed there the first time they’d met. He should have put him in immediate protection/training. The one thing Tony shouldn’t have done, was build up the kids hero complex.
“I would’ve fought no matter what Mr. Stark”
Tony’s head shot up. “Kid?”
Peter looked down at himself, then back at Stark with a nervous smile. “It’s me sir” Tony reached out, and Peter took a step back. “I-I-er,” he huffed out a nervous laugh. “I wouldn’t.”
Tony let his hand drop as the slowly building hope gave way to anguish. A strangled yell escaped the poor man.
“Mr. Stark please.” Tears began to form in Peter’s eyes. “You gotta believe this isn’t-wasn’t your fault.”
“I gave you the suit. I gave you the will. What I didn’t give you was the chance to live.” Tony’s hands clenched and unclenched as anger welled in side him. “I did nothing to save you.”
“I was gone the second my senses went off. It was the soul stone. There was nothing you could have done.”
“I could have stopped Thanos! We had him. We had the gauntlet, and if I had moved faster to stop Quill-“
“No, Strange told us out of the millions of versions he saw, out of all of them, we won once.” Peter held a single finger up with his lips pressed tightly together holding back a sob. “We won once.”
Tony sank back onto his heels. Peter crouched in front of him. “You didn’t deserve this. You deserved a long life Peter, you deserved to see the world.”
Peter shrugged and looked away. “I dunno, I got a pretty good view of it from the the side of the space doughnut” Tony couldn’t help the scoff that slipped out. “It’s not your fault Mr. Stark. The stone chose who it wanted. The world needs you. It knew that. You have to I-I don’t know save the universe part two!”
Tony shook his head. “How could we possibly stop him now. Thanos must have all of the stones by now or-“ realization struck him. “That means Vision is...”
Bile rose in Tony’s throat and Peter leapt back as he leaned over and heaved. With no contents in his stomach only acid managed to burn the back of his throat.
“Mr. Stark please.” A pathetic plea. “There’s still hope. There’s always hope.” Tears we’re falling down Peters cheeks, though there was no sign of them on the desert like soil. “Just think for a bit and-and-and make a plan! You can get that blue lady and take the guardian’s ship back to Earth and-“
Tony shook his head. “I can’t. I can’t go back and tell them I lost you. Your Aunt-“
“Aunt May will hate you more for leaving her with no explanation of where I am and wh-who’s to say she’s there yanno?” His voice finally cracked, and his head dropped. “You have to Tony. If not for yourself then for me. Tell them what we did. Don’t let them think we went down with out a fight. They deserve to know.”
“Kid I-“
“Tell them Mr. Stark. I’m counting on you.”
Peter’s eyes flashed with a terrifyingly determined look, and Tony nodded.
“Okay,” he rasped. “Okay.”