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The second time it happened was three weeks after the first. Murphy had spent an entire day thinking about Bellamy after they'd had their night together. But that was all he allowed himself. He was good at pushing stuff down. He'd been shoving down emotions his whole life after all the terrible things that had happened to him. After that one day of pining, he told himself to forget about Bellamy. He'd made his intentions clear. He was just another person that didn't want Murphy. And he'd said it was a one time thing so there was no use wasting energy on it. After a week or so, he only thought about it at night in bed, in the minutes where he was almost asleep and thought it might be nice not to be alone.
So three weeks later when he was coming out of the bar at 2am with Jasper and Monty close behind, the last thing he expected to see was Bellamy leaning against his car with his hands in his pockets. They locked eyes and Murphy's breath caught in his chest. Bellamy gave him a little smile and all he could manage was to cock one corner of his mouth up in return. "You know that guy?" Jasper asked from behind him.
"Yeah, kind of. Uh, you guys go ahead without me. I'll be home in a little bit," Murphy mumbled over his shoulder.
"Are you okay? He's not dangerous is he?" Monty asked skeptically.
"No, no I'm good, thanks buddy," Murphy replied, kind of chuckling. Jasper and Monty took that as a good enough answer, so they said goodbye and told him to be careful, then walked around the corner to head home.
"Didn't think I'd see your face again," Murphy said as he started to walk across the small parking lot toward Bellamy.
"Neither did I, but here I am," Bellamy replied with a crooked smile.
"Thanks for gracing me with your presence," Murphy said sarcastically as he stopped in front of Bellamy.
"No problem," Bellamy grinned back.
They stood there in silence for a few seconds. Bellamy didn't offer a reason for being there and Murphy didn't want to ask, but he couldn't stand silence for very long so he broke first. "Why are you here?"
Bellamy blinked and looked down at his feet. "Well you said you're here almost every Friday and I uh, I wanted to see you."
Murphy tried to stop his heart from fluttering but he was unsuccessful.
"Well here I am," he said back, mocking the way Bellamy had said it earlier. He knew it sounded asshole-ish, but he didn't really care at this point. He pulled a half empty cigarette pack out of his pocket and opened it, took one out and stuck it between his lips. He could feel Bellamy watching him but he stared down at the tip of the cigarette as he lit it, avoiding Bellamy's eyes.
"Can I have one?" Bellamy asked into the quiet night air.
Murphy handed him the pack and the lighter and he took it. They stood against Bellamy's car and smoked and made small talk for a while. Finally after Murphy had stomped out his cigarette on the pavement he asked again. "So why are you really here? You know you can buy your own cigarettes at any gas station."
"Smart ass," Bellamy huffed. And then a little quieter he said, "I don't know, just lonely I guess."
Murphy wanted to ask him more questions, to take a walk and talk about his life and why he was apparently so damn lonely all the time. But he was terrified that'd make Bellamy leave so he settled for, "Get in the backseat. I'll make you feel better."
Bellamy looked at him and then around the empty parking lot. There weren't any street lamps, but a lonely car parked at a closed business was kind of suspicious. "We should go somewhere else. Get in," Bellamy instructed and opened the passenger side door for him.
"Such a gentleman," Murphy sneered and slid inside. Bellamy rolled his eyes and closed the door in his face. He got in and started it up.
"Where could we go around here that wouldn't be obvious?" he asked. Obviously he wasn't from this part of town. Murphy guessed as much based on the way he was dressed the first time they'd met. This time though, he wore a grey henley, a forest green cargo jacket and jeans and Murphy thought it suited him much better.
"Take a right," Murphy instructed. After a few turns they'd ended up at the end of an unfinished cul de sac. Half the houses on the street were built and being lived in and the other half at the end were either empty lots or frames ready for drywall. There were construction vans and random cars parked all along the street. "Gotta love gentrification," Murphy mused and motioned between a white van and an old pick up truck. "Park here and turn your lights out."
"This is romantic," Bellamy said sarcastically.
Murphy laughed. "About as romantic as me blowing you in the back of your car."
"Is that what you're gonna do?" Bellamy raised his eyebrows.
"I planned on it."
"I thought I was in charge," Bellamy reminded him.
Murphy swallowed thickly. "Oh yeah."
Bellamy smiled slyly and moved his head toward the backseat, gesturing for Murphy to climb back there. "Wow, tinted windows? You really are rich," Murphy said as he climbed over the center console clumsily.
Bellamy cleared his throat in a way that suggested he was embarrassed as he followed Murphy back. "I'm really not. I'm just good at saving."
"Either way, this is convenient," Murphy smirked. They were sitting next to each other in the dark backseat now and Bellamy looked at him with an annoyed expression like he wanted to slap the stupid smirk right off his face, but he kissed him instead.
His fingertips brushed the side of Murphy's face lightly and Murphy didn't hesitate to kiss him back. He moved his hand to the side of Bellamy's neck, stroking his thumb back and forth over his pressure point. He opened his mouth to let Bellamy's tongue in and reveled in the warm feeling that was spreading through his limbs. He really didn't think this would happen again and he was happy he was almost sober this time so he could just soak it all in. Bellamy dragged his hand down the side of Murphy's neck and to the top of his sweater. It was black and too big for him. It hung loose exposing the tops of his shoulders and his collar bone. Bellamy tugged on the neckline with one finger and pulled away from Murphy's mouth. "I like this sweater. It looks good on you."
Murphy's face flushed from the compliment but he'd never admit it. "Thanks," he said shyly. He didn't have a sarcastic response for once.
Bellamy moved his hands to Murphy's shoulders and dragged them lightly over the exposed skin, then across his collar bones. "So fucking pretty."
Murphy felt like he was falling apart under Bellamy's hands. He was barely breathing because he didn't want to do anything to make Bellamy stop looking at him the way he was looking at him in that moment. Bellamy pulled him in again and kissed him but it was different than before. It was slow and hot like the burning end of a cigarette. He held Murphy's face in both of his hands and licked hotly inside his mouth. He slid one hand down to Murphy's neck and wrapped his fingers around it loosely. Murphy struggled not to shiver at that and leaned forward into Bellamy's grip, wanting it to be tighter. Bellamy's other hand had slipped down between Murphy's legs and he palmed him through his tight jeans. "Lay back," Bellamy said between kisses. "I wanna take care of you this time."
Murphy let himself be laid down across the backseat with his legs still draping onto the floor. He didn't look at Bellamy's face because he knew the expression he wanted to see and he was scared to death it wasn't there. Bellamy was on his knees at the other end of the seat, and he leaned forward and started to undo the buckle on Murphy's belt. Murphy watched his hands unclasp the metal buckle and work the button open. He was holding his breath again. Bellamy got his pants undone and and pulled them down to his thighs. Murphy assumed he wasn't even gonna try to get them all the way off. Not in this cramped space when he was wearing old brown boots laced all the way up. Murphy was hard and he watched with hooded eyes as Bellamy spit in his palm and slid his hand over Murphy's dick. He shivered at the sensation. The feeling was amazing but being able to watch Bellamy's hand move slowly up and down because of the awkward way they had to sit made it even better.
"You want my mouth on you?" Bellamy asked in a gravelly voice. This kid really got off on saying filthy things didn't he?
"Fuck. Yes," Murphy answered, sounding a little more breathless and eager than he'd meant to. Bellamy chuckled cockily and maneuvered himself so he was kneeling on the floor of the backseat in front of Murphy. Murphy pumped himself as he watched Bellamy take his jacket off and throw it in the front seat. The grey henley he wore was tight around his biceps and Murphy was loving how it looked, but he took that off too. It was chilly outside but the car was getting hot fast. He looked up at Murphy who was trying to memorize every line of muscle and curve of skin he could see, then he leant down and kissed his inner thigh, using some teeth. He dragged his tongue down and moved to the other leg, kissing and biting in the same spot. He wasn't touching Murphy's erection and Murphy was afraid he didn't plan to anytime soon. "Please, just, are you gonna-" Murphy started to ask desperately as he continued to pump himself slowly.
"Maybe, but there's something else I'm doing first." Bellamy smiled mysteriously at Murphy who was looking down at him, practically shaking with anticipation. Bellamy slid his hands down and under Murphy's thighs, then pushed them back a little so Murphy's ass came up off the seat. Bellamy leaned down so the top of his head was all Murphy could see and just when he realized what Bellamy planned to do, he felt Bellamy's tongue wet and hot, licking over his hole. "Oh my- fuck, you don't have to-"
"Shut up, I want to," Bellamy said gruffly and dug his fingers deeper into Murphy's thighs as he continued to use his tongue to draw circles over Murphy's hole. Murphy writhed and moaned on the seat above him and Bellamy smiled a little to himself as he continued his plan to push Murphy over the edge.
"You've-I gotta-" Murphy stuttered and then immediately lost the ability to form words when Bellamy stuck his tongue inside him slowly. He dipped it in and out at a torturous pace, holding onto his thighs tightly as he did it. Finally he let go of one of his legs and Murphy wondered through the haze of pleasure if it was over, but his question was answered when Bellamy slid one finger into Murphy alongside his tongue.
"Fuck, fuck, that's so hot, I can't-"
Bellamy was getting painfully hard in his tight jeans and it got worse and worse with each curse he coaxed out of Murphy's mouth. Murphy had slid down the seat now so he was almost flat on his back with his pelvis arched up in the air. Bellamy continued licking into him until he was a mess of incoherent moans. Murphy wished he knew the name of the boy eating him out so he could say it, but it was still a mystery. Finally he managed to groan, "fuck, you gotta stop, I'm gonna come."
Bellamy didn't listen, and Murphy wondered if he imagined it but he thought he felt Bellamy add a second finger when he said that. "I want you to come for me. Come on baby," Bellamy breathed. Definitely not imagining it then. And baby?! Murphy was absolutely fucked. He came in hot spurts over his stomach and Bellamy coaxed him through it, pumping his fingers in and out until it was too much and Murphy grabbed him and pulled him into a bruising kiss. Bellamy kissed back enthusiastically, not holding anything back. It was deep and desperate and he could taste the rum on Murphy's tongue. Murphy could taste himself on Bellamy's. Murphy's sweater had hiked up under his armpits when he'd slid down the seat, and Bellamy pulled away and grabbed his jacket from the front seat to offer it to Murphy to clean up with.
"Thanks," he said breathing heavily as he used the jacket that he thought was probably way too nice for this purpose to wipe his stomach down.
Once he'd cleaned off and threw the jacket back in the front, he noticed Bellamy had moved to sit on the seat and was clearly painfully hard. "You want some help with that?" Murphy asked, motioning down to Bellamys tight jeans.
"Yeah in a minute. If we do it right this second I won't last at all," he said, still breathing heavier than normal. Murphy smirked and felt pretty good about that until he noticed Bellamy staring at his ribs. He knew what his scars looked like. They were shocking. And the last time they were together it'd been too dark to see them. Murphy pulled his shirt down and looked straight ahead.
"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stare," Bellamy said softly, sounding guilty and embarrassed.
"It's okay. I know they're gross," Murphy replied, trying to inject his usual brand of sarcasm and failing.
"They're not gross. How-" Bellamys voice was soft but he trailed off, probably realizing the question he was going to ask was rude. "You don't need to answer that, I'm sorry," he apologized again.
Murphy was still looking straight ahead, and was quiet for a second before he said,"they're from when I was a kid. They're from my mom."
Bellamy didn't know what to say. Murphy could feel him staring at the side of his face and he could practically feel the pity seeping out of him. He hated it.
"I'm sorry, that's-"
"It's fine," Murphy said forcefully, with an edge to his voice. He wondered where Bellamy got off thinking he could tell him he didn't want to get to know him and then seeking him out at his bar, and THEN asking about his fucking scars. Fuck him honestly, he just wanted Bellamy to shut up and make him forget about this conversation. "Can we get back to the original plan now?"
Bellamy seemed taken aback, and he didn't say anything or make a move so Murphy turned around and straddled his lap, pulling him into a kiss with one hand on his cheek and the other in the hair at the back of his neck. It took him a second, but Bellamy kissed back and soon he was getting hard again. Murphy began to slowly roll his hips against Bellamy's. Bellamy wasn't one to be super loud during sex, but the grind of Murphy's dick against his aching erection was too good. He moaned into Murphy's mouth and he could feel Murphy smirk against his lips. He pulled away so their foreheads were still touching, lips inches away from each other and breathing heavily. "I wanna ride you," Murphy said, practically into Bellamy's mouth.
Bellamy closed his eyes. "Yeah, that sounds-that sounds perfect," he breathed back, and Murphy sat back on his knees so Bellamy could unbutton his pants. He helped him work them down to his knees and sat back down so their dicks were rubbing together as he pulled Bellamy into another kiss. Then, with a little awkward maneuvering, Bellamy pulled a condom out of his back pants pocket and put it on. He spit into his hand and used it to slick himself up while Murphy looked down between them and watched his hand slide up and down his dick. Once it was wet enough Murphy used Bellamy's shoulders to pull himself up and held onto them while Bellamy positioned himself against Murphy's hole. Murphy looked up and immediately met Bellamy's eyes and the fact that he was looking at him so softly, like he actually cared made Murphy kind of sick so he looked down again as he eased himself onto Bellamy's dick.
Bellamy's hands slipped to his thin hips and under his sweater, holding on to him as he began to move up and down slowly. Bellamy's breathing was shallow and loud as Murphy rotated his hips and picked up speed. He was holding onto the seat behind Bellamy's head for leverage and he buried his face in Bellamy's shoulder and sucked his earlobe between his teeth. Bellamy made a sound in the back of his throat that Murphy desperately wanted to hear again so he moved his tongue lightly up and down the shell of Bellamys ear and began sucking a mark into the soft skin right below it. Bellamy moaned again as Murphy sucked the skin between his teeth and continued to rock up and down on top of him.
"I'm close," he warned, and Murphy pushed down harder, bottoming out every time. Bellamy came with another moan, eyes squeezed tight and mouth hanging open slightly. "Fuck," he sighed as he came down and caught his breath. Murphy slid off of him slowly and sat on the seat next to him, thankful for the condom so he wasn't sitting in a puddle of warm jizz. Bellamy took it off, tied it up and threw it on the floor. Murphy made a face. "I'll throw it away later," Bellamy chuckled. They stared at each other in silence for a minute until Murphy moved to pull his pants back up. Bellamy took that as a cue to put his pants back on too and grab his shirt from the front seat.
Once they were both dressed Bellamy let Murphy climb to the front first, then followed behind. He started up the car and turned on the headlights, and they turned around in the cul de sac to head back toward the bar.
Bellamy grabbed an unmarked cd from the slot in the console and slipped it into the CD player. The first song was "Add It Up," by Violent Femmes. Murphy knew it well. He smiled as soon as he heard the first word, and he sung along quietly while Bellamy drummed his thumbs on the steering wheel.
They passed the bar before the song was even over and soon they were pulling up to Murphy's house. "Thanks. You didn't have to take me all the way home. I could've walked from the bar."
"It's no big deal," Bellamy replied. "Thanks for tonight."
Murphy smiled crookedly. He knew Bellamy would drive away as soon as he got out, and who knows if he'd see him again this time. Whenever he started to feel that sentimental ache in his gut, he was cursed with saying something disgusting as a cover up. "Thanks for eating my ass."
Bellamy practically squawked making a sound in between a choked laugh and a cough. "Yeah, you're welcome."
He was staring at Murphy with that soft look again, and he leaned in and brushed his fingertips over Murphy's cheek, resting them featherlight on his jaw. He kissed him soft and slow. When they pulled away he brushed the hair off Murphy's forehead gently. "You really are beautiful. You have to know that."
Murphy actually hurt on the inside. That's how he always felt when someone was nice to him. It ached. He didn't say anything back, just kept staring at Bellamy.
"I'm sorry I asked about your scars. And I'm sorry they- You don't deserve to be treated like that."
Murphy was suddenly filled with the bitterness and anger he was always trying to keep at a distance. Who was Bellamy to tell him what he did and didn't deserve?
"How do you know what I deserve? You don't even know my fucking name," Murphy spat. "I gotta go." He swung the car door open and ignored Bellamy as he stuttered an apology and "wait, I didn't mean to-"
"It's Murphy by the way," he said with finality and slammed the car door in Bellamy's face.
Bellamy stared after him as he stormed up the front walk and he sat in front of the house clenching and unclenching his hands on the steering wheel for almost two minutes before he finally drove away.