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The beautiful sunlight poured in through the curtains lighting up the whole room. Everything was bathed in the beautiful morning sunlight. Although I took great pride in my taste and choice, specifically in the interiors of my apartment for I had decorated it myself and had it been a usual morning I would have been admiring the beauty of my room and complimenting myself for my great choice and sense of style.(A/N: After all expecting modesty from Harvey is like expecting Harvey to give up girls and lose his sass[as if that was ever possible]. *wink wink*)  

But today was not a usual morning.

Today was not usual in the sense that although like usual there was a girl in my bed but quite unusually she was different than the other one nighters that I usually spent my nights with.

How you ask?

She was different in every way possible.

Just the way in which she spoke with those cherry red lips of hers was different than the rest. Just the way she fought with me, standing there with a defiant look in her eyes, was different than the rest. Just the way her beautiful brown eyes shone on hearing of simple joys such as a bucket of chocolate ice cream or a box full of gummy bears was different than the rest.

Just the way in which her beautiful face broke into a gorgeous smile on smelling the sweet scent of a fragrant blooming delphinium was different than the rest. Just the way her melodious laugh filled the air, setting the whole atmosphere on a more joyous note was different than the rest. Her complete aura was different than the rest.

She was different than all the others. And she was mine. Just thinking about this brought an automatic childlike exultant smile to my face.

With this thought in mind, I watched her peaceful face which shone beautifully in the morning sunlight. As the sunlight came in through the windows illuminating her face, she seemed to be akin to a sweet and gorgeous angel. The peaceful expression on her lovely face put me at even more ease. As I admired the stunning features of her face I realized that I was truly lucky to have the love of this exquisite creature laying before me.

“If you’re just gonna keep staring at me like that then I won’t be able to sleep for very long mister.” A sweet voice said breaking me from my dreamy reverie.

I looked towards her and saw that although she had spoken, her eyes were still closed but her lips were graced with a small yet bright smile.

“Well then I think you shouldn’t sleep for very long because I’m just gonna keep staring at your beautiful face” I said looking at her with a mischievous smile even though she had still not opened her eyes.

“Even if I turn into a demon or something just plain ugly?” she said opening her beautiful brown eyes and looking at me with an adorale looki of genuine curiosity on her face.

“Yes even then” I said brightly smiling at her.

“Really?” she said asking incredulously.

“Well no but I have to say that so that I get laid. I mean to tell you the truth if you turned ugly or some other demonic creature I would run away from u like a handsome bat from hell. Well as handsome bats can be but that’s not the point because we all know that I’d look handsome in any form.” I said a playful, cocky smile on my face.

“God, you’re such an imbecile.” She said raising a pillow and lightly hitting me with it.

But before she could hit me again with her pillow I caught hold of it, taking it from her small hands. I threw the pillow back, tossing it on the ground. In usual cases anything messily laid on my floor would have irritated me and driven me nuts but right now I was far too occupied to even give it a thought.

I took hold of her hands and closed in on her. As I held her hands in above her head, keeping her locked in my embrace, preventing her from using them to get free of my hold I slowly came close to her face.

“I might be an imbecile but I’m your imbecile.” I said looking her straight in the eyes.

“ My imbecile” She said looking right back at me. As I pushed my face even closer to her face, all the while maintaining our heated eye contact I could see that her body was getting affected even though she was trying her best to keep herself under control and not let it show. Hmmm always the challenge with her. Well, I was never one to shy away from a challenge and that too when the prize was so so sweet.  

As I moved my lips even closer to her I saw that she was just on the brim and just needed a little push for her to lose control.

“Yours and only yours” I said, almost whispering now, looking at her with a ferocious passion in my eyes. Our lips were now a hair’s breadth away, so close that she could feel my warm breath on her lips as I spoke. I knew that this would do the trick, that it would be the last straw.

Finally she gave in and her lips trembled as she spoke, “Oh Harvey”.

And with that, we went back to bed but there was hardly any sleeping this time and a lot of incoherent moans as I took my sweet, sweet prize.

This morning was definitely more different from all the rest for this time, I had spent it in the arms of the most precious woman in my life, the one I truly loved with all my heart and soul.         

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Harvey’s POV

In my lifetime I’ve been with a lot of girls. After all, I don’t think there is any girl in this world who could resist my charm except for Jessica and Donna ofcourse but they belong to a rare species of women and I’d rather not go into that topic. Honestly it was extremely easy for me to get girls. I mean with my gentleman charms, and most handsome face anything was possible.

Honestly I’m irresistible. I’m mean any woman in their right minds and with eyes couldn’t resist me. Although there’s a certain perk to being in a relationship yet I’ve never had one of those. Never really tried to and honestly I never felt the need to have one. They’ve always been more of a hold-me-back than push-me-forward for me. Besides, while people needed love to keep them motivated and going I had my goals to keep me motivated, to push me each day. I didn’t need the sweet lies and heartbreak of a relationship, the false promise of eternal love only to be broken later leaving misery and sorrow in its wake to make me feel alive. I was already enjoying my life to its fullest.

I loved my job and life too much to give its place to anybody else. After what happened with my parents I never truly believed in the institution of a marriage. Now I don’t hate or despise people in love or relationships, no for Pete’s sake I’m not Louis( God what is wrong with me why would I even think of comparing myself with him? ) whose always looking down on others who are happy in their so called miserable lives. Trust me I’m happy for those guys and truly hope good for them. But I’ve never really thought of having a long term relationship or for that matter any kind of relationship besides a one night stand with any of the girls I’ve ever been with. It just wasn’t who I was.

A partial reason for this lack of relationship is also that I’ve never really met anyone with that kind of zing that made me want to ask her out for more than a night and wish for something more permanent. There was Scotty for some time but even she couldn’t get me to come out of my shell and be in a serious relationship with her.

Ofcourse I tried to make it work between us but it just didn’t happen. It just wasn’t meant to be. I guess I was still looking for that one person who truly knocked me off my feet and blew me away. I never thought I would ever meet someone like that and seriously thought that I would die a bachelor ( not that it’s a bad death, trust me when I say its not. If anyone would know the best about this subject, that would be me) but finally I did meet that one person I was looking for. The One I was waiting for.

Although it sounds greatly cliche to say this but Kate was truly a whirlwind. She was like a fresh breeze of air for me. A much needed change from my highly challenging yet somewhat monotonous and boring life. She’s just so different that I truly wanted to give it a chance. For once in my life I wanted it to work between the two of us with all of my heart. Moreover I dared to do one thing I never do: I hoped that it would work. Given my previous non existent amazing and glorious past and history with relationships and dating clumped with my magnificent tendency to fuck up every great thing in my life I decided to follow Kate’s lead in this area. Which is why I was in this present condition. Standing in a tuxedo, in my red Aston

Which is why I was in this present condition. Standing in a tuxedo, in my red Aston martin driving to Donna’s house to pick Kate for our date tonight. We had decided that since the last date of ours was planned by Kate I had the rights to plan this one out. I had even got the allowance from Kate that I could spoil her greatly and go all out on the date. Since Kate knew I would pick somewhere fancy and she was more of a jeans-and-top-casual- hot look kinda gal she didn’t really know how to dress up in a fancy manner. Which is where Donna came in.

She was more than happy to step in and I would go as far as to say that she even gave me a look that said Honey-I’ll-dress-her-up-so-good-that-you’ll-address-me-as-Goddess-Donna-after-this look and she didn’t give me many of those. The rare occurrence of Donna’s expression ensured that Kate would be dressed to kill and hence I too had decided to dress to impress and go all out on my looks. I had planned something amazing for us and couldn’t wait to see the excited look on her face when she would see this.

I would never admit it to anyone but to be honest I felt a little giddy and nervous too. I felt butterflies in the pit of my stomach which was rarer as I thought they had died down a long time ago and for the first time in my life I felt a little doubtful and unsure of myself. As I was lost in thinking and worrying over my appearance and plans I realized that I had arrived and Donna was already getting out of the apartment with Kate mostly behind her, locking up as I reached the apartment.

No time for any changes now I thought. With this last thought in my mind I quickly got out of the car and gracefully went to greet Donna. I quickly pecked her cheek and took in a moment to look at what Donna was wearing. Since it was a Saturday night she usually had plans to go out but tonight she had chosen not to go out in order to stay back and help Kate get dressed.

She was donning (A/N: See what I did there. Donna was donning I know PJ but bear with me please. I’m totally psyched up and on a great caffeine rush so yeah) a pair of stain blue pants and a worn out star wars T-shirt. Even though she was dressed as casually as possible she was looking utterly gorgeous. If Donna and I didn’t have a platonic type of relationship and had I not been dating Kate I would definitely have chased after Donna and I’d like to think I would have got her to cave in.

Now of course it was just a theory but some theories are best unimplemented. ( A/N: Donna is in bold whereas Harvey is in italics)

“Donna you look as glorious as ever.” I said looking at her, my charming smile pasted on my face. “

“Well I can’t argue with that since that would just be a moot point. But if you’re trying to brown nose me I’d like to kindly inform you that you are failing, poorly at that must I say” she said giving me an unamused smile at my attempts to butter her up in order to get any heads up on Kate’s appearance.

“Well of course not. I would never try to brown nose you with a thing as low as the very praise that you deserve for your gorgeous looks and absolute beauty. How could I ever do that, milady? I was just subtly trying to appreciate you heavenly beauty while at the same time trying not to offend you in any manner by stating the very obvious, milady. You cannot fault a man for trying, milady?” 

I said a gentleman’s smile on my face, a Shakespearean twang to my voice, curtly bowing at the end of my small yet meaningful and well versed monologue. I knew that nothing could work on a lady of Donna’s stature except for praise and since I was already aware of her love for Shakespeare I had already come ready with a tactic in mind.

“Oooo so u practiced and learned a good Shakespearean speech just for me. Hmmm. So much effort on part of the great Harvey Specter, someone who couldn’t even bother to get up early to get to work for an extremely important client meeting. And here I thought u were incapable of being charming to anyone unless you were trying to get in their pants or secure their bank accounts for the company and usually the two don’t coincide. So this is a great surprise. Makes me wonder what you’ve got planned for this evening and makes me think how much more I could exploit you just so u could get a heads up of Kate’s appearance” she said an evil smile appearing on her face as she looked at me,giving me the evil-witch-from-snow-white smile.

“Now I know even you wouldn’t be as cruel as that. You would help me right? You and I are the best of chums A beautiful lad like you couldn’t be as cruel as that. Come on Donna just a little information wouldn’t hurt anybody now would it?” I said looking at her with a beseeching look in my eyes, trying my best to use my puppy eyes look on her and break her resolve not to tell me and torture me even more.

“Seriously. That’s the best you got. You’re trying those puppy dog eyes on me. And trying to call me lad to show me subtly that I’m quite young. Really. Honey I invented that trick and you think you can fool me with it. No way darling. And the best of chums. What are we in the sixties? Next you’ll call us estranged brother and sister duo. Yeah like that could ever happen. Not working love. Sorry” she said giving me a hard no- nonsense-look that spoke that she was in a strictly business mood right now.

Left with no choices I now decided to give in and do the one thing that was left: Beg. Plainly and utterly in front of Donna. “Donna I beg you please tell me, oh beautiful lady of heavens please show me some mercy and let me just have an idea of the mesmerizing beauty that was created by your dexterous hands. I beg you oh lady of beauty.” I said bowing before her as if addressing a queen of the heavens above. It seemed that the trick worked and Donna smiled saying,

“Since I’m feeling merciful today I’ll tell you one thing about how Kate is looking and I sincerely hope that you can keep your eyes from flying out of their sockets and your face from expressing all the thoughts that will go through your mind when u see her. She is looking phenomenal tonight.”

As Donna said this I heard a door locking and looked behind Donna to see something which truly knocked me off my feet. She truly was looking most beautiful tonight.

She was wearing a beautiful blue diamond pendant and a pair of beautiful chandelier blue earrings to go with the pendant. And as if her appearance wasn’t enough to take away my breath her face was even more angelic than ever. Her beautiful long hair was plaited at the top into a small sideways plait and the longer strands were falling down her face , forming a sort of halo around her angelic face. Her usually pale skin had a dash of colour today.

Her small blue eyes seemed to be accentuated due to the application of a fair amount of eye liner and kajal and her eyelids seemed to match perfectly to her truly beautiful dress, a shade of midnight blue covering them astoundingly. Her cheeks had a beautiful pink blush to them making her usually pale skin come alive. Her lips were painted a beautiful cherry pink with a tinge of red at the ends of her lips making it seem as if someone was squeezing a strawberry causing the pink fruit pulp to overflow. She truly looked like a masterpiece to me. Unbelievably stunning and utterly gorgeous .

She looked like the very definition of beautiful and seemed like the Greek Goddess of beauty Aphrodite herself in her humanly form. Words failed me as I looked at the work of art before me. As I stared at her like a lovesick fool she approached me and looked at Donna and then at me. Donna subtly took that as her cue to leave and gently whispered in my ears, not loud enough for Kate to hear,

“ Don’t forget to breathe and blink Harvey, she still needs you to drive her to wherever you were taking her”she said a smug and satisfied smile on her face. I could hardly register what Donna had said as I was too busy staring at the glorious beauty before me.

She then looked towards me and gave me a dazzling smile, spreading all over her beautiful pale face. Our eyes connected and the connection seemed to be electric, sending a jolt of electricity through my body.

I smiled back too and slowly started breathing. I then remembered my gentleman charms and took her hand gently guiding her towards her seat, waiting while she gathered her dress and settled in comfortably and then quickly making a beeline for the driver’s seat. I could feel the aura radiating off her as I stared at her heavenly beauty which was truly beyond belief.

The night truly would be one to remember. She had made it special and worth remembering for me just by dressing up, which for Kate was not a regular occurrence and a great effort on her part and I was sure as hell going to make it one of the best nights of her life and certainly worth remembering.

 to be continued ..

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I know u were expecting a chapter but I just wanted to tell you guys that I really appreciate your love and reviews. Thanx a lot for them. Also, another important thing is that I am expecting requests and am open to all sorts of Harvey scenarios and fantasies. I would love to fulfill your Harvey fantasies even if it's only with a chapter. I would love to know that I'll be acting like a fairy god mother to some Harvey fan out there(that ought to put my Cinderella and fairy god mother fantasies to a rest, at least I hope so). So really this is a very selfish request on my part. So please give me some ideas so I can put ur beautiful thoughts into words, the best I can. Thanx for listening to me blabber. Until the next chapter, but till then keep on spreading more and more Harvey love. The world needs it greatly.

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HARVEY’S POV

As a child, I’ve always loved the season of rain. Whenever I think of the first few rains of my life beautiful memories of time with my father and mother come in mind. How I used to play baseball with my dad in the rain , even though we could not see a thing and were as blind as a bat in the heavy rain but just the mere act brought me great joy.

How when we returned from the heavy rain, as soon as I would enter the house, I would be greeted by the delicious smell of my most favourite food in the world- choco-chip cookies.

The pure joy that those little pieces of chocolate brought me was indescribable. How I and my brother would always fight over who would get more cookies and how I would smooth talk my way out of it, always winning in the end. These little moments of my life always brought me joy and reminded me of my roots.

But after coming into the city and I had got so busy that there was hardly any time to enjoy such a simple thing such as rain. Don’t get me wrong I love being busy and invested in my job, no one loves being needed more than me and the salary doesn’t hurt either. But in all the rush of my life in the city, I’ve almost forgotten what it had felt to just enjoy the rain and take a moment to relax and let go, even if just for a moment. I didn’t even realize that I had forgotten what the rain felt like and would have probably not realized even now if not for Kate.

I was going to pick Kate from her friend’s house. She had taken a day off from the hectic lawyer work. Although she loved her job just as much as me but unlike me she made vacation and time with her friends a priority too. How she could manage that and continue to be spectacularly kickass in all her cases was beyond me. Sometimes I even went as far as to think that she just fooled me into believing that she visited her friends on these tiny little vacations while secretly working on the cases still but whenever she came back home, she had this glorious smile pasted on her face that would remove any silver of doubt that I ever had. All of those nights would always be filled with me and her on the couch, just laying back, wine glasses in our hands while she excitedly poured out all her memories and the fun that she had with her friends.

Just the way her eyes would light up with warmth at the very mention of the smallest of things that happened on her visit would warm my heart. The very way in which she would use her hands to gesture and express her feelings made me feel like watching a joyous child describe his picnic to his parents, filled with excitement and happiness and bubbling with laughter at the silliest bits of the story. Kate was very expressive in this way. The way in which she was always ready to talk and more importantly listen was more commendable than I ever gave her credit for. She would be brimming with excitement, waiting for me to come home so she could share all her happiness and the visit’s mischiefs with me. Even though I felt quite weary and tired when I returned home but just seeing her bubbling with excitement, waiting on the couch for me, would rejuvenate me like I had been stuck with a fresh breath of air. I felt as though her excitement was enough for the both of us.

But today Ray had informed me that Kate’s car had broken down and he was getting it fixed at the mechanic’s and hence I had to go and pick her. Now I admit the day was extremely busy as usual and on other days I might have refused to go myself even though it was Kate, since I just didn’t have the time for it. Even if I skipped a few sleazy idiot clients Kate would get to know about it and then she would be guilt ridden throughout the day and then I would feel bad for making her feel unhappy. Which I didn’t want.At all.

Because of which this was a rare occasion for me. And I was fully intending to take full advantage of this. As I approached her friend’s house turning on the road to her home, I heard the skies above rumbling like a maniac or like a crazy Lactose intolerant milk, coffee deprived Louis. I didn’t know which comparison was worse but both seemed appropriate to me. As I came close to her friend’s house I saw that the black full blown clouds seemed to have had enough and finally succumbed to the pressure, breaking away and draining all their water on us, showering down in the form of strong heavy rains along with slight lightning.

As the rain came down in thick sheets, I saw the people on the sidewalk rush to the restaurant on the opposite side of the road and try to seek shelter from the cruel rain. But that was not what had surprised me. I was surprised to see that a lady dressed in sky blue attire, her black hair running down her wet back standing in the rain. She wore beautiful blue heels and had a small purse in her hand. She stood there, right by the pavement, looking at the sky, with her hands by her sides and resting in a relaxed and let go attitude while she stood under the fury of the black clouds. Now had she been any other woman I might have offered to help her out of the rain and drop her off but that would be it. But I felt entranced as I watched her stand there in the pouring rain.

The heavy rain and haze made it hard to figure out for sure if it was Kate or not but I felt as though it was her. Just looking at her made me a little giddy , thinking of how she looked, wet strands of black hair sticking to her back as she stood there in the pouring rain. When I saw her leave in the morning she was donning a low cut slim fit jeans and a worn out silver hoodie. But hey what do I know, maybe she had come back and changed after I had left due to some weird Kate sense.

I had now parked my car near the sidewalk and got out to go get Kate before she could catch a cold due to getting wet in the rain. But as I got out I couldn’t help but gaze at the black haired beauty in front of me, feeling mesmerized by her very aura when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

“Enjoying the view are we?” a voice said from behind me.

I quickly turned and saw that it was none other than my very beautiful girlfriend ,Kate herself. And yes my suspicion was right. She was still wearing the very same clothes that I had seen her wearing in the morning. So much for doubting myself .

Her words shook me out my shock over realizing that I was mistaken and was actually staring at a random girl who somewhat resembled Kate. This illusion of mine had allowed Kate to catch me watching some other girl like a deranged stalker, standing in the rain, as she got wet. No wonder she had a scowl on her beautiful face.

Well, apologies were never my way and her scowl was just too tempting not to mess with. So I quickly recovered and gave her the best quirky answer that I could come up with at the moment.

“Well its alright but not exactly what I had in mind for the afternoon” I said my signature smirk in place.

“Really cause from where I was looking it felt as though u had zoned out watching the AMAZING view” Her scowl getting slightly larger than before.

(A/N:AMAZING SAID IN A REALLY REALLY REALLY SARCASTIC TONE.)

“ Well can’t say u’re wrong” I said letting it be out there for a moment as I made my way to the bags in her hand, which had mysteriously appeared right now or maybe I had just ignored them completely and just noticed them. Who knew! With Kate all my attention was usually stolen by her, which left very little place for the rest of my attention to be granted to anything else.

But before I could take the bags from Kate’s hands she snatched them away from my grasp and made her way towards the passenger side. She went in and sat while I stood there a bit shocked by her aggressive behaviour. She was usually very calm but today was not one of those days I guess.

“Well, whenever u’re done with ur bird watching we can be on our way.” She said an angry tone to her voice.

I quickly went into the driver’s seat and started the car, slowly making my way through the traffic, to my apartment. Oh, she really was taking it to her heart. But I couldn’t understand why.She usually was very playful. She even went on to contest my love for tricks and jokes and was always ready with a quirky response to my humour and snarky comments. But this time something was up with her. I could tell.

As I stopped the car, she all but bolted into the lift and I could barely keep up with her as I ran after her, trying to catch her before she could make her escape through the lift. Fortunately, God was on my side this time. Oh, how I thanked all the Christian gods out there, the ones to whom I never prayed to in my life, just for being on my side at that very moment.

The lift was empty and as we made our way to my apartment I peeked at her reflection in the lift’s doors in front of me. Her usually beautiful and imperfectly perfect face was marred with a scowl at the moment and I could see that something was worrying that pretty little mind of hers. Yup, something had definitely happened on this little trip to her friend’s. My doubts were confirmed when I realized that Kate had her eyes glued to the floor, something she did only when she wanted to avoid me from seeing what was going on with her.

“Kate, what’s really bothering you? You know I can tell that something’s on ur mind. Do u mind filling me on it?” I said with a serious tone.

“Harvey please I don’t want to talk about this. Thanks for dropping me home but u can return to ur work now or if u’d like then to ur bird watching. I don’t mind. Really. Do what u wish” her voice sounding resigned and tired and her voice all but dying out onto the last word. Like the very thought was hurtful to her.

I was about to reply when my phone started vibrating in my pocket. I checked it and saw that it was Mike, probably calling in to update me on the Green Industries case. Although this case was a tricky one and probably needed my attention, Kate was much more important at the moment. Nothing came before her. The case and Mike himself would have to wait until I solved this situation with Kate. With that decision made in my mind, I quickly sent him a message telling him that I can’t take the call at the moment and would get back to him as soon as possible.

I then switched my phone to flight mode ensuring that no other calls would disturb my future talk and possible argument with Kate. As I finished changing my phone to flight mode I saw that we had reached my floor and the doors opened to my apartment. But before I could have said anything Kate bolted out of the lift like a bat out of hell. I quickly followed her, bags in hand and dropped them somewhere on the floor while I all but raced after Kate to catch her before she could reach the bedroom and bolt it for god knows what reason.

END OF PART 1
(A/N: I KNOW ITS AN ABRUPT END BUT HEY DO U WANT THE SECOND CHAPTER TO BE EXCITING OR NOT.IF YES THEN I COULDN'T GIVE AWAY ANYTHING.) :) ;)

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PART 2

I succeeded in catching her and caught her hand before she could escape to her bedroom.

“Let me go, Harvey. I don’t want to talk about it. Just go away.” She said in a sad and slightly angry tone, now almost shouting at me.

“Well I’m not letting go so you better tell me whats going on Kate,” I said now in a no bullshit or diversion mood.

“There’s nothing to tell,” she told her eyes still focused on the floor, unwilling to meet my eyes.

“Really then do u mind telling me why the FUCK are you behaving in this bizarre manner? First, you get angry at me for nothing and then you say nothing throughout the car ride, which for you is a big novelty. Then you all but run out of the car and then bolt like a bat out of hell from the lift the moment it arrived at the apartment. And if that wasn’t enough evidence then the very act of you trying to avoid my eyes right now is more proof than I’ll ever need to know that something is wrong with you.” I said as I turned her towards myself and put a finger under her chin, tilting it slightly.

“SO WILL YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON KATE,” I said now fully tilting her head up and making eye contact. As I looked into her sapphire blue eyes I could see that they were filled with unshed tears and she seemed to be holding them back just for my sake. It seemed as though her eyes were filled with pain and indescribable sadness and for a moment I was truly shocked by the intensity of pain she was experiencing. I couldn’t imagine what monstrosity could have caused her this much pain.

“Oh, Harvey its so silly. You’ll think I’m very stupid to get upset over such a trivial thing. I just don’t know what’s wrong with me ?” and with that she broke into tears, sitting on the ground and while trying to cover her face with her small, pale palms.

But before she could cover her face and hide somewhere in her mind, hide from me I caught her hands and then tentatively removed them from her face. I slowly wiped the pearl like tears that seemed to have made their way down her cheeks and gently held her face, encircling them with my hands.

“Kate, Love, if you don’t tell me what’s going on then how can I help u? You let me decide whether it's silly or not. I share my fears and problems with you, don’t I?” I said briefly looking at her and then continuing when I received a small nod from her. “Then isn’t it only fair that you share your fears and problems with me too?” I said slowly nudging her to go on.

Finally, she gave in as she sat there, my large hands wrapped around her small ones, she looked up at me and gave me a nervous look and then started,

“You know that I am really friendly and one of those people who loves without bounds. Someone who doesn’t know how to restrict my love. Well, it turns out that it has posed a bit of a problem for me in the past.” She said a worried look on her face as if worried that any mention of her past might scare me away, but I gave her a small encouraging nod which seemed to do the trick.

“ When I was young I was friends with a boy named Jeremy. He was my neighbour and we were childhood friends. While in school we were the best of friends, stuck at the hip and when in college we were the meant to be a couple, the one couple who could never break, an arch example of true love I guess.” But as she said the last line it seemed as though she seemed to be more saddened than before just by the very thought of it.

“When college ended and we were leaving for our home. Jeremy called me and asked me to meet him at our secret meeting place, the tree behind the college library. He had been very uncomfortable and secretive those last few days and seemed pained whenever I tried to be close to him or near him at all.

One of my friends had told me that they had seen him at a nearby jewellery store, admiring a diamond ring and automatically I thought that he was going to propose to me and hence he was so secretive and uncomfortable those past few days. Turns out I couldn’t have been any further from the truth.” She said a painful cringy grim smile on her face. I instantly felt as though something very bad was about to happen and even though it was a past memory I felt myself wishing that I could have changed something to lessen her pain in any which way possible.

“Turns out that he wasn’t there to propose to me but rather to break up with me. He had got a job offer in Greece about a week before and he had decided to take it. He said that it wasn’t that he didn’t love me, he did but it just seemed that it was not in the way that I loved him. At least not anymore.”

“ He said that he felt as though our love had been stretched to its full extent and couldn’t go on any further. He said that he didn’t want to pretend that he loved me back with the same intensity as I loved him, not when he knew that he would be hurting me even more. He said that he just couldn’t be that cruel and selfish anymore.

When I asked him if he ever loved me or was that all just a foolish lie that we had both believed and he replied saying that there was a time when he had loved me more than anyone in this world, when I mattered to him more than anything in this world, when he would have done anything for me. But slowly he lost that love and now he only saw me as a friend nothing more, someone he still loves and cares about, but only as a friend.”

“And before I could even absorb what he had said and done he’d quickly left me there. And even after he’d left, I could still hear his words in my mind, playing like a cruel record that wouldn’t stop, continuously on repeat, torturing me, taunting me.” She said breaking into tears again and just seeing her cry filled me with hatred for this so called best friend of hers. I felt hot red anger fill my heart at the thought of some idiot and coward of a man hurting my precious Kate.

“I remained there, under that tree, that whole night, just sitting there on the ground, crying to myself, thinking what I could have possibly done wrong which could have led to this happening. I allowed myself that one night to cry and to let all my pain and sorrow escape into the world. Just for that night. But as the morning came I gathered myself, picked up the shards of my broken heart, hoping to go on with my life as best as I could .”

“At the time I couldn’t understand why he would have done that, why anyone would have done such a cruel thing to anyone? But later I understood why he did what he did and a few years ago I let my bitterness fade away and contacted him again, wishing to reconcile with my childhood friend, to be at least his friend again if nothing else.”

“I’d not met him since last year’s Christmas and was quite surprised when I saw him at my friend’s house today. I hugged him and felt a bittersweet feeling seeing him today. But I didn’t let it show but when we started talking and he came down to talking about the real reason he had come down here, that was when everything went to hell.” She said a sarcastic twang to her tone.

“He told us that the real reason why he had come down there today was that he wanted to invite us personally for his wedding next month. And that seemed to have given me a jolt, a big shock.

The very thought of him marrying someone seemed shocking to me. I felt like a can of worms that I had hidden somewhere deep in my mind, not completely closed but hidden deep had been opened up, wide in front of me,forcing me to face it, right then right there.”

As soon as I heard the news, I felt a pain in my chest and almost forgot how to breathe. The thought of Kate, my Kate still having any feelings for this person felt like acid filling in my lungs. I felt bile rise in my stomach and did my best to push the feeling down.

I tried my best to swallow up all and any of the insecurities and fears that were ever-present in my mind, gnawing at the sides and did my best to pull on a poker face, preventing any of my feelings to show on my face. I had to stay strong for Kate, no matter what.

But perhaps Kate had noticed the sudden change in my breathing and my body language or she was just at that good at spotting the feelings that I had so miserably tried to hide from her. It seemed like I couldn’t hide anything from my beloved beauty.

She quickly realised her poor choice of words and went on to remove all my illogical fears, quickly correcting and rectifying her mistake by saying, “ What I meant by that was that hearing the news about him getting married brought back all the memories of that night. Of how broken I had felt that night. Of how the pain seemed to have swallowed me up whole as I had laid there on the cold ground in that dark night, all alone. And the pain and the sorrow hit me strongly.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe anymore and felt more and more suffocated in there. I stood there paralyzed with pain, as if lightning had struck me, right in the heart. And so I quickly left, saying a rushed farewell to my friend and leaped out to get into the car and come back to the apartment as fast as possible.

But I suddenly realized that Ray had left to get the car to the mechanic’s and hence I was left there standing on the pavement, all alone. I knew that you were on your way and would be coming in about 20 minutes given the traffic at the time of the day.

So naturally, I decided to go the restaurant across the road. I would have done anything to get some space and some time to think at that moment. To push down that pain and all the insecurities that it brought with itself.

And then after about 20 minutes there you were, in your Black Chevy, standing by the pavement in the heavy rain, staring at someone on the road, completely oblivious to everything around you.

As I followed your line of vision, I saw you staring at a woman, standing in the rain. She looked beautiful, a charming spectacle. She resembled an angel as she stood there in the middle of the road, in the pouring rain. Who wouldn’t be staring at her? I mean just look at her, she was gorgeous.

As I approached you I saw that it looked more and more like a look of adoration than just mere interest. When I looked at your eyes, I saw something there that I had only seen for myself, that look of need, of love, of happiness and fascination that you only reserved for me.

That look of Harvey Specter which only I got to see. The one reserved for me. MY LOOK.” She said in a small broken tone, making me feel even more miserable as everything slowly became clear to me. How daft can a person be, I thought to myself but before I could say anything to fix this stupid mistake of mine she started again.

“ I felt like I was not looking at you but at him, looking at another girl as he left me behind to go be with her. And as I looked at you staring at her I felt like I reliving all those hurtful feelings. I felt all those fears come to surface again. I felt like you were going to leave me too, just like he did.

And as I tried everything in me to push down those horrific thoughts, my merciless mind conjured up the images of him going away, leaving me broken. And suddenly it wasn’t him but you, standing there telling me that u didn’t love me anymore, that it was over and that you had moved on.” She said breaking her speech to breathe through the tears running down her sweet pink cheeks.

“ I quickly gathered myself up and made my way up to you and quickly lashed out at you. But even after I had shouted at you I felt like a scared child. And as I sat there in the car, I felt like I was going to lose you any moment, like you were just going to leave me and never come back. I felt like a child who was afraid of his parents leaving him behind, feeling left out and unwanted, unloved and lonely.” She said, going silent for a long moment.

“And now you know why I didn’t want to share all this with you. I know it's stupid Harvey. I know how irrational I’m being right now. I know it's illogical and I wish that knowing that would help me leave these stupid fears behind but I can’t. I can’t Harvey. And I’m not gonna burden you with anything and I know that I just need some time and I’ll be fine. I just need some time to myself to sort all this out and I’ll be fine.” And as she said all this she rose quickly, trying her best to get up and try to rush to her room and lock it, running away from me and suffering alone.

But I wasn’t having any of that. I quickly caught her and before she could run away to her room pulled her into a hug. At first, she tried to struggle against my hold but soon she gave her feeble attempts and gave in, hugging me back with as much intensity as possible.

After a moment or few, I pulled back from the hug just enough to look at her face. I couldn’t bear to let her go, holding her still in my arms as if I needed the physical contact to convince me that she was still here and not running out the door at the first chance.

I slowly took her small face in my hands, enveloping her cheeks in my big hands. I gently wiped away all the tears that had marred her beautiful face all the while maintaining eye-contact with her.

“I’m sorry that you had to go through all that Kate. I’m sorry for my stupidity, I thought that it was you who was standing in the rain and that’s why I was standing there, looking at that girl like a lovesick fool. It's my fault.

I’m a jerk for putting you through all that. But I may be a stupid idiot but I could never be as foolish as leaving someone so amazing as yourself. I couldn’t even fathom my life without you, Kate. I couldn’t imagine my mornings without your beautiful smile lighting up my mornings. I couldn’t imagine my life without your irritating and annoying phone calls during the day, reminding me to eat and what not. I can’t imagine returning home to anyone but to your divine face welcoming me home, with that warm smile of yours that makes all my worries disappear in a moment.

How could you think such a thing? I may be a handsome guy with an astounding face but there is truly something inside there, you know.” I said pointing to my head with my index finger, giving her a wry smile.

She looked up at me and despite the tear tracks on her face and the running nose, she gave me a small awkward laugh. But that laugh quickly died down and she smiled looking towards me, staring at me with those enchanting blue eyes of hers.

“Thank you, Harvey. I don’t think I would have ever been able to let go of that fear if it weren’t for you. So thank you.” she said looking straight in my eyes, those charming eyes of hers, that held me captive every time she looked at me.

“ You don’t ever need to thank me, Kate. Ever. Besides, if you can deal with my nutjob issues then I ought to at least deal with your tinnier and itsy bitsy issues. Gotta keep up the amazing boyfriend reputation you know.” I said trying to lighten up the tense mood.

Apparently my feeble and pathetic attempt at lightening the tense mood worked and she said, “ Well I wouldn’t call you amazing, rather I’d prefer good. You still have to work your way up to amazing you know. Gotta keep you on your toes. Can’t really let it go to your head you know, what with your humongous ego and all.” She said giving me a beautiful smile, and just like that, everything was fine. My Kate was back. Just like that.

“Well, now that this has been cleared I really do have to get back to the office. Got a lot of work waiting to be finished.” I said giving her a longing kiss on her forehead and then unwantedly letting her go.

“Well since I made you late with all my drama might as well have a coffee with me and then leave. What’s a few more minutes, right? Please, please please” she said looking at me with her puppy dog eyes and even though I knew that she was using her secret puppy dog eyes I just couldn’t resist giving in. It seemed that lately, I couldn’t refuse giving her anything that she wanted, anything at all.

“Alright fine but only a few minutes or Jessica will scratch my eyes out if she sees that Christian Bold is still waiting for our meeting in my office. ” I said giving her a small smile, trying to be serious but failing at it miserably.

As I looked at her make her way to the kitchen I went to the kitchen slab and sat on the small stools on the other side.

“You know you make Jessica sound like a witch, who scratches the eyes out of horrid handsome men and tricks them into giving her their lives.” She said a small humorous smile on her face as she made her way around the kitchen working to make our coffee.

“Oh it's so sweet that you think I’m handsome,” I said giving her a Cheshire cat smile.

“Of course he chooses to focus on that part out of the whole sentence.
Un-fucking-believable.” she said shaking her head at my statement, a smile gracing her pretty angelic face.

And as I sat there looking at Kate working, tinkling around the small kitchen, I finally felt blessed to be with someone as amazing as Kate.

That moment made me realize that this beautiful, talented, unbelievably kind and absolutely stunning person, who always remained strong even in the face of the darkest of days, in reality, had a few fears of her own too.

In that moment she had trusted me with that sensitive part of herself, trusted me enough to show me that vulnerable part of herself that she hid from everyone. I could only hope that I would never fail to stand by her in the darkest of times and would never let her belief in me fade.

With this thought in my mind I smiled as we finally sat there, sharing a cup of coffee and while it was stormy outside and raining as if hell had broken loose, in here everything was calm and peaceful, as I enjoyed our little piece of heaven on Earth.

Chapter Text

Hey guys sorry to disappoint u but this is not a chapter update. Its just some things i wanted to clear out with u guys. Firstly i won't be able to post for a little while, like till the very end of this month and preferably the beginning of the next month due to the godforsaken exams that are almost upon me and bent on killing me murderously. But a good news is that one of u sweeties out there wantd me to write on paula and harvey.After seeing this last episode ie ep 8(don't worry no spoilers) i just fell in love with the idea of harvey and paula. So I'm gonna write u all a beautiful paula and harvey work cause it literally hurts my soul to see that there are no works out there for this beautiful pair. So i took it upon myself to wite this perfect pair a perfect story. So my next story is probably going to be on them. Thats it for today. A shout to alll my amazing and adorable followers who still continue to follow my crazy self. Thanx for liking me and my work and hang in there guys.. I promise I'll try my best to make the wait worth it ❣️❣️❣️❣️❣️

Chapter Text

HARVEY'S POV

Many times, people say that in a particularly important moment their significant other looked more perfect than ever. But for me it wasn't just a very important moment rather it was the little moments of perfection. Nothing major, just bits here and there, the stolen glances that I saw of Paula that made me realize just how beautiful she truly was. Not in the artificial I'm-literally-a-walking-and-talking-make-up-stick but the truly beautiful kind...the one whose inner beauty is so pure that it brightens their every move and gives them an angelic glow on the outside.

She looked perfect to me when she was lying in the lounging chair, her coffee mug in one hand, her eyes focused on the reports of one of her patients. As the red hue of the rising sun brightened her face, it seemed as if her beauty was only magnified by the red flames of the sun that shone across her face in beautiful waves.

Her beautiful blue eyes seemed to become that much more beautiful when she was focused on a task, the small frown that appeared on her forehead when she was caught in a problem, the little 'ah' which came out of her beautiful pink lips when she was finally able to solve the problem, all of it just made her seem more beautiful if that was possible. In that moment, to me she looked like an aesthetic marble statue, a serene beauty, one whose allure continued to captivate me, rendering me senseless each time without even trying.

She looked perfect to me when she was dressed in her worn out green arrow( A/N:yes I would have used superman but I love green arrow more so bear with me) t-shirt and her white silk pants which made her legs look even more sexy than usual. I love how she cuddles around me when we are on the couch having our weekly movie night. Just the way she clutches and unclutches my arm with the changes in the movie, all unknowingly, would light my whole body on fire, and that for me was not something which was common as only a few women in my life had ever held that much power over me.

Just the way her face lights up when she sees one of her favourite parts of the movie fills me with joy, the rapt attention with which she watches the screen makes me realise the real strength of this fabulous woman before me, this woman of mine who if puts her mind to something has the power and determination to see it through and make it happen. In that moment as the flurry of emotions and expressions cross her face, right from happiness filled smile to anger filled growls and sadness filled teary eyes, her face seemed to resemble a beautiful painting, which was ever changing, giving the spectator a never-ending magnificent show, keeping him enraptured forever.

She looked perfect to me when she ate a piece of her favourite pepperoni pizza. As soon as she would bite into the slice and take a mouthful of the red deliciousness, her face would break out into a beautiful smile expressing the pure joy she felt at eating just one but of her favourite pizza. She would enjoy the slice with closed eyes, savoring each bite and making many moans as the delicious taste rolled around on her tongue, tingling each of her taste buds.

In that moment, when she is savouring the rich taste, it seems as if she is in her own world, enjoying the slice as if it was the last one on earth. In that moment she seemed like a beautiful angel to me, unafraid of this world, whose pure untainted beauty was visible in every one of her gestures even without her trying. To me, she seemed perfect in that moment.

She seemed perfect to me when she stepped out of the shower, her hair all wet and sloppy, her face red due to the steam of the hot shower she had just taken. As she stepped out of the shower, her white fluffy towel tightly wrapped around her petite yet most beautiful body, the steam that was enveloping her seemed to form a sort of halo around her and it seemed as if she had just stepped out of a cloud of smoke, giving her a resemblance similar to the mysterious entrance of a magician on the stage that left the spectators in awe.

The silhouette of her body emerging from the cloud of steam, only added to her beauty, emboldening her beautiful curves. Her face seemed reddened, giving her a blushing look leaving me feeling a bit jealous.

Why u ask? Well mostly because usually it was me who left her blushing with my over the top but oh so deserving and appropriate as well as inappropriate( if u know what I mean *wink wink*) compliments towards her, but this time she seemed to be blushing because of the steam. Now I know it may sound greatly possessive and irrational to be jealous of the steam but why wouldn’t I be , I mean the steam got to touch her all over and left her with a beautiful blush and I don’t like it when anyone touches what’s mine, if that makes me possessive and irrationally jealous then so be it.

She looked utterly beautiful and perfect to me when she would smile just a little bit more to raise her cheekbones in order to perfectly apply her blush. The slight pink or red blush would be nowhere near as beautiful as her natural blush usually brought by yours truly but nonetheless would only add to her beauty.

In that moment, as she would stand there, slightly rubbing the makeup brush over her beautiful cheek bones, giving her face a spectacular finish leaving her looking radiant, close to inhuman perfection she would look just perfect to me.

And in all these moments, as she would stand there, she would be the Paula that I fell in love with, my perfectly imperfect Paula.

Chapter Text

Over the period of my long and very satisfying ( yes, very very satisfying) life with a horde of girls I’ve never had the privilege of getting one of them to attend a social event with me. In most cases, this was because none of them ever got even remotely close to that stage with me wherein I would take them to anywhere but the bedroom with me.

And in the rare cases wherein I actually liked a girl enough to want to be with her, not just in the bedroom but out of it too there always seemed to be something or the other getting in the way of me and her being together.

Scotty was a sterling example of the major setbacks and the highly unfortunate yet solely a result of my stupidity which usually landed me in a position where I was left alone in the end.

Before this, it had never really mattered much to me. I never felt the need to have someone by my side in these boring galas that I was forced to attend by Jessica. Between irritating Louis and charming clients I never felt that I was missing a presence with me and never really understood why you needed to have a date when you came to galas like these.

But like it's said, "Unless we have a taste of heaven we don’t know that its this piece of heaven which has always been missing from our lives".(A/N: I DON'T KNOW WHO SAID THAT..BUT I REMEMBER READING IT SOMEWHERE) Paula came into my life like that piece of heaven. Even now, irritating Louis was an indescribable joy but with Paula and the very possibility of having her with me in the Gala, it got pushed back on the priority list.

I knew that Paula had no experience with these kinds of events but nonetheless I knew this too, that even though I may be pushing her out into new waters, in the end, she would come out victorious, dressed like a goddess leaving everyone awed with her beauty and me smiling ear to ear like a lucky bastard.

This thought led me to make the decision to ask her to attend the Annual Lawyer’s Summit with me. With this thought in mind and a bright hope in my heart, I approached her one evening after we had just finished our dinner from Mr. Patsy’s (A/N: yes that’s a fictional name but it’s a real-life inspired name, bear with my nuts imagination).

I had never been one to beat around the bush unless I was trying to get a girl to come home with me, in which case it was all about subtle hints and heated gazes but this certainly was not one of those cases. So I decided to just pull off the band-aid and before I could let myself overthink this idea and change my mind I quickly asked Paula if she would give me the pleasure of her company on the evening of the gala.

I was usually very confident and sure-footed in my approach when it came to women and convincing them to come with me or do something for me. It always seemed to be very effortless as they easily fell for my roguishly handsome looks and my charming personality. But this time it was different. I couldn’t use my charm or my roguish looks against Paula. That could never work on her.

Nothing seemed to work on her. Rather instead of dazzling her I continued to remain dazzled by the sheer beauty of her presence and enchanted by the beautiful and strong lady that stood in front of me. With Paula, I continued to remain unsure of my approach, if she refused to attend then I wouldn’t try to force her into coming with me.

Of course, I would be utterly disappointed but I would never show it to her for I knew that my reaction would only leave her with guilt and that was something I wanted to avoid at all costs.

Tons of possibilities were going in my head all leading to Paula refusing to attend the gala leading me to be devastated, and this left me with a lot of butterflies in my stomach. To say that I was nervous would have been a gigantic understatement. It was an unusual feeling for me, to be nervous about a woman’s response. Never in my life had a woman’s reply mattered to me this much.

It seemed that I was experiencing a lot of firsts with Paula. The first feeling of actually having a healthy relationship with a beautiful woman, a first of wanting to be continuously in the company of said beautiful woman, first of committing to only one woman for a long time( A/n: I know Scottie was there but can we like just ignore her maybe…please), and now a first of wanting to take this particular beautiful woman to a Gala with me. No pressure at all there, right? (A/N: Yes I know a lame attempt at humour )

But all my nervousness disappeared when I saw the look on Paula’s face. She looked like a deer caught in very bright headlights, but even in that caught-in-a-pickle look, she looked utterly adorable and cute. I would have laughed out loud if it wasn’t for the very real panic that was written on her face.

Being the kind gentleman that I was I decided not to prolong her suffering and rather end it quite quickly. After I quickly explained to her that it was not a big deal and was only an autumn gala she relatively relaxed. Her relief only furthered when I told her that Rachel, Mike, Jessica, and Donna would also be there.

The prospect of seeing some familiar faces around her seemed to provide her the full consolation that she needs and the last of her remaining panic had disappeared. But as soon as it had disappeared, it reappeared, however, this time it was laced with more worry than last time and an underlying fear it seemed.

The look on her face made me give her a questioning look and before she could voice any of the various questions going on in that amazing brain of hers I said,

“What is it, Paula? ”

“Well its just that….” She said hesitating a bit at the end.

“ What? Hey, you can tell me anything, you know that right? … What ? What is it? ” I said seeing her worried look only increase manifolds which in turn made me quite worried.

“I just wanted to ask you if you’re sure that you wanna take me as your date to the Gala? ” she said, the worry now clearly visible on her face.

“Yes, of course, I’m sure that I wanna take you to the gala with me. Why wouldn’t I be sure? ” I said, asking her in an instant.

“Well because I don’t think it’s one of your brightest of ideas. I mean I don’t know anything about law. I don’t even know what we’ll talk about? I don’t think I’ll be able to mesh with the people there. I don’t even know what to wear? I don’t think I should go, Harvey. I’ll only embarrass you and I don’t wanna do that. You should just go alone” She said in one breath, the words tumbling out of her mouth and it took me a moment to process what she had said.

At first, I couldn’t understand why Paula was stressing over these things. I mean I understood that these things were important but in the end, they were small things, nothing that my Paula couldn’t handle and definitely not a reason big enough to make her give up on the idea whole together.

But after a moment passed and I looked at her panicked and worried face, it struck me. The reason why she was so panicky about this. She was feeling self-doubt and insecurity. I didn’t know why but I could just see it written in her beautiful blue eyes.

Her strong reluctance to go and the petty reasons clumped with the sweating palms and the almost reddened face with a hand caught in the cookie jar look on her face almost confirmed my suspicions. But by the time I broke out of my thoughts I saw that Paula was almost on the verge of a panic attack.

So I did what she would have done had it been me freaking out over something. I tried to get her to open and understand what she was feeling.

“Hey look at me. Breathe Paula just breathe.” I said taking her hands in mine, effectively stopping their flailing.

“Just look at me, okay? Focus on my voice. Breathe with me, okay?” I said, making eye contact and whispering soothing words as I continued to stare into her beautiful ocean blue eyes, trying my best to calm her.

I honestly didn’t know what I would have done had it not worked but thankfully, it worked and she seemed to be calming down and able to breathe again. If it weren’t for the gravity of the situation I would have been laughing and thanking Louis for all his panic attacks which allowed me to witness Donna trying to calm him, effectively teaching me how to handle someone if they seemed to be having a massive panic attack. Oh well, surely Louis could wait.

“Here have some water,” I said handing her a glass of water from the nearby coffee table and making her sit on the couch nearby, the one on which we had cuddled so many time on our many movie nights.

“Now tell me what’s got you so worried and don’t you dare say nothing cause I know it's not nothing. So tell me what’s going on Paula? Let me help you. Please” I said looking straight into her deep blue eyes, which seemed like captivating crystal blue pools, the ones in which I could happily sink and drown.

Finally, she surrendered under my stare and started speaking, “Look, Harvey, I know it may not be a big deal for you… but it is for me. When I was with Jacob….” Taking a slight pause at the end and closing her eyes for a moment, as though drawing strength from somewhere deep within her mind.

God knows how much anger I felt towards that bastard Jacob but instead of channeling it towards my thoughts of how I would love to beat him to a pulp, I decided to focus on being there for Paula and took her hands in mine, trying to relay to her my love and support through the warmth that passed from my hands to her cold nimble fingers.

“ When I was with Jacob, I was never concerned with the matter that his and my friend circles were very different. Although we were both therapists yet the two of us ran in very different circles. I never felt the need to worry about what I wore and what or to whom I was talking. I never felt insecure about who I was and always felt that even though we ran in different circles we could still make it work.

But when I found him cheating and on the verge of leaving me , he told me that one of the reasons that he had been attracted to another woman was that he had felt that his friends and I didn’t mix and he had felt ashamed of me when I couldn’t relate to his friends even though we were both therapists. He told me that it was this humiliation that he felt due to me that had pushed him into the arms of another woman.”

Before I could have pointed out how stupid an excuse that was for cheating and how silly she was being for believing that lying and sniveling son of a bitch, she raised her fingers and stopped me from speaking out.

“I know that it’s no excuse for cheating and I know its bloody stupid. But I guess a little part of me actually believed that it truly was this reason that caused him to cheat on me and plan to leave me for another woman. I don’t know why but I can’t seem to forget this and it seems like whenever I’m in a bad situation or a tough spot with you I get déjà vu and I start to think about what Jacob had said.

I start to think of how it could all go wrong and how one little thing could lead me to lose you forever. I know its very irrational to think so but I just can’t seem to stop it, it's like this feeling and his words are always there in the back of my mind and today when you suggested the gala his words seemed to rush back to my mind, playing on a constant repeat, haunting me and reminding me of what could happen if I messed this up, how much I could lose, and I can’t afford that Harvey.”

She said looking at me with a haunted and scared look, shivering as if the cold thoughts of her being alone without me were able to touch her with their icy fingers.

“ Ok, you’ve said your part. Now you will listen while I talk. Three things-Firstly I would never do such a stupid thing…I could never leave you or for that matter, any woman for such a petty excuse as my friends can’t mix with her…I mean if I were to leave you or any woman I would at least be a man enough to tell it to her face and give her at least a valid reason for this…not some bullshit that I just concocted up because my stupid peanut of a brain couldn’t think of anything more stupid or at least valid.

Secondly, I could never leave you. Even if I wanted to which just so we’re clear I don’t … even if the whole world was on one side and you on the other I would always choose to be with you… I can’t imagine having a life without you in it.. I can’t imagine having no one to call and not hear the most beautiful voice from the other side… knowing that when I would return home from a hard day of work I wouldn’t have the most wonderful person waiting back at home for me… I just can’t imagine it, Paula…the very thought scares me to my core and makes me wanna clutch you so hard that you can’t leave..even if you would want to...

And thirdly how could you ever compare me to him? To that sick bastard who doesn’t deserve even a minute of your precious thoughts let alone your treasured love …I can’t believe that you could ever think that I would do something like that asshole had done…” but before I could complete the sentence Paula interrupted me.

“But you don’t understand Harvey, it's not about you it's about me. It's about what I’m feeling...It's about my insecurities and the fears that I have of losing you because I wasn’t able to keep up with you and couldn’t fit into your world.” She says taking a hold of my arms and looking into my eyes.

“Hey, I understand that. I really do…But what I don’t understand is how you could ever think any less of yourself.. I mean just look at yourself … You’re the most beautiful person I’ve met in my entire life…both inside and out .. and I know you’ll think that’s it's cheesy but let me tell you it's not, cause its true.

Sure there’s Jessica and Donna but they can never even come close to you…To being the cutest and absolutely adorable and sweet person I’ve encountered in all my life…How can you not see that Paula?

I mean even an asshat and a graduate in fucked up relationships like me can see that... So why can’t you?”

I said taking her beautiful face in my hands, looking into her stunning blue eyes, which seemed to be brimming with unshed tears making her eyes look as though they were two dazzling, precious crystals.

As I stared at her with an intensity even unbeknownst to me I tried to make her feel the love and absolute admiration that I felt each time that I looked at her and the pride that bloomed in my heart every time I looked at her taking on the world, one problem at a time.

“ I’m the luckiest bloke to be with such an impeccable woman as you,” I said slowly wiping the tears that had flowed down her delicate cheeks and had left trails of salty water in their wake.

“So just stop worrying and for once, just live for a while, Paula. And it's because of this you are going to come with me tomorrow to the Gala…not because I want you there but because its your right to be there, by my side, no matter the company we are in or the place, you are and will always be the most important thing in my orbit, no matter how big an orbit it may become, you will always be the Sun in my orbit, guiding me home even when its an eclipse” I said looking at her with a small smile on my face, happy to see her face which was donning a similar smile as mine, just more pretty.

“Fine ..I’ll come but you have to help me with the dress because I have absolutely no idea what to wear to an autumn Lawyer’s Gala.” She said as I gathered her in my arms.

“ Don’t you worry. I have that covered. I’m sure Donna can help you with that because as sure as I am that I’m quite adept at taking the dresses off others… I’m sure that this expertise does not extend to my dress choosing skills”, I said tucking her head in my chest as I brought my arms around her, safely securing her in my arms.

“Hmmmmm..Okay,” she said murmuring, as she nuzzled into my chest.

“Warm enough,” I said smirking down at her, after a moment of her snuggling into my chest.

“ Hmm... Perfect” she said looking up at me as she raised her head back from my chest to look at me. And just as quickly as the radiant and warm smile had appeared on her face, she quickly returned back to nuzzling into my chest.

At that second I realized that I had meant each word that I had uttered.. and as much as it seemed to scare me to my toes it also seemed to give rise to something that I hadn’t felt in a long time- hope, that I had finally found the one for me, the one who knew me inside out and who knew all my demons and still chose to stay.

In that moment, I made a solemn promise to myself that from this moment forward it would be my personal goal to make this woman feel cherished and valued for all that she is and to make her see the diamond that she truly is.

And as we sat there, wrapped in each other’s embrace, getting warmed by the crackling fire in the fireplace, I felt warmed by a different type of warmth in my chest, which seemed to be spreading throughout my body and although I didn’t know what it was, at that moment all I felt was pure untainted peace.

END OF PART 1

Chapter Text

HARVEY’S POV

To say that I was very nervous regarding tonight’s gala would have been an understatement. Last night I had said that I wanted her there and that she must be there since it was her right to be. I wanted everyone to meet this beautiful and amazing woman in my life, who changed me in so many ways and helped me make my peace with so many of my demons.

At the time I had talked to her, I was very sure that having her there was a great idea but as time seemed to pass and as the Gala came close, my nerves were starting to get all rallied up and I was feeling more and more nervous by the second. I was worried more by the fact that she won’t like the people I spend my time with rather than the opposite.

I decided that thinking about it was useless and would only increase my tension and nervousness and hence I decided to immerse myself three feet deep in my work and asked Donna to send all the pending cases my way, a command which I was now regretting. But no matter how much I was hating dealing with my stuck up, gigantic pain-in-the-ass clients I knew that it was much better to keep myself busy than to let my mind have a free second to worry about tonight.

It was because of this knee deep work that I almost forgot that I had promised Paula that I would get Donna to help her with the dress for tonight. I quickly asked Donna if she could help Paula choose a dress for tonight’s gala and after involving some more off days and a fully paid treatment in her favourite spa, she graciously accepted, as if she was somewhat expecting it from me.

Donna left the office around lunch, probably to meet up with Paula, and I decided that it was probably a good idea to give Paula a heads up that Donna was heading her way. Besides I also wanted to check if like me, she too was dealing with some nervousness. But to tell you the truth I just wanted to hear her voice, that sweet voice which always seemed to help me relax and make me believe even if just for a second that it was all gonna be fine, that we could deal with any shit that was thrown our way as long as we were together to deal with it.

The call with Paula ended rather quickly as she was out with a friend and as soon as she heard that Donna was headed for her home she rushed to end the call and hail a cab to her home. The idea that someone else was keeping her thoughts consumed while she was the one who was in each and every thought of mine made me a bit jealous but before I could act upon that jealousy I saw Jessica headed my way, with a steely look on her face which clearly meant that I had either fucked up real bad or she needed me to clear someone’s fuck up, probably Louis’.

I’m so looking up to tonight’s gala.( A/N: Oh Harvey aren’t we all ;) )

With the work given by Jessica time passed real quick and before I knew it Jessica was peeping into my office to tell me that I needed to leave and get ready for the gala if I wanted to make it in time to pick my date and be there on time to welcome the guests. Hearing that, I swiftly took off in my red Ferrari and decided that I would dress up in my best so that I could ensure that tonight all Paula’s thoughts were consumed by me and only me. Call it me being possessive and unnecessarily jealous but I don’t care. I want her to be as crazy and possessed with the idea of me as I was with the idea of her, if that made me a possessive ass then so be it, at least I’ll be an ace at that, if nothing.

After all, I knew that Donna for sure would not have held back on choosing a spectacular dress for Paula this evening, surely to knock me out of my senses and I was hell-bent on returning the favour.

AT THE GALA

I was disappointed to know that Paula had already left for the gala before I could arrive to pick her up. At first I thought she was a bit angry at me for being a bit late but then the way she ended the call with the words, “ Don’t worry Harvey, the fruits of patience are really sweet” in the most seductive tone possible I understood that she wasn’t angry rather she was excited to pull the floor beneath my feet and was just prolonging my suffering. Well, never have I been so excited to have my senses knocked out until now.

Even though I was late to the gala, I had reached before Paula and had already schmoozed a lot of people in the gala and yet there were so much more left to schmooze with my charm. It took everything in me not to just leave the boring gala but the desire and excitement to see my Paula held me in, keeping me in the boring gala, all alone to endure Louis’ finicky ways and annoying talks.

My heart ached to see her. It felt as though we had been away from each other far too long although I had just seen her the night before. To keep my mind out of the gutter, I was getting my enjoyment by irritating and annoying Louis. The way he tortured the poor waiter for a mere glass of champagne was hilarious. I was just teasing Louis for his poor choice of brown tie instead of a black one when I saw that every eye in the room had suddenly turned towards the entrance door and a sort of hush had fallen over everyone, a thick blanket of silence settling all around us. I was wondering what the fuss was about and turned my gaze towards the entrance to see the guest when I felt a strange electricity pass through me as the air around me turned heavy.

They were all staring at the woman robed in black. The black gown was an (almost) backless, high- neck floor length gown. Various thin black velvet straps were holding the upper part of the gown together, going across her bare back forming a sort of majestic lined web. As the upper half of the gown moved downwards it eventually joined the lower half of the gown, the hem beautifully flaring down until the floor. To make the dress even more gorgeous the whole of the top was covered in black lace, while the sides were completely bare save for the velvet straps holding it up, which allowed the slightest of peeks at her appreciable assets.

The lady’s makeup consisted smoky eyes and ruby red lips, only adding to her seductive looks. Her beautiful blonde hair was falling down softly brushing her shoulders. Her beauty was only greatened by the beautiful black and white diamond necklace and earrings that she was donning (A/N: Hehe..Donning :P ). Her look was subtly completed by the beautifully crafted black lace embellished heels, which by my judgment were surely a creation of the greatly talented Chanel.

She looked like a model who had walked right out of a Chanel magazine. No wonder the whole room was staring at the beauty who had probably become the most desirable woman in the gala and all without even trying. I could tell that the lady had no idea how beautiful she was looking as I knew the lady closely. I knew my Paula.

Seeing all those men stare at Paula made me see red and I felt red hot anger bloom in my chest. Well, call me a possessive Neanderthal but no one stares at what’s mine, no one. I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard someone behind me mutter “Wow. She looks astounding. I wonder if she’s got a date for the night. If not then I should try to keep her company and maybe she might come back to my place with me, at least for tonight.” the man behind me said to his friend, laughing a little at the end. It took everything in me to not turn around and punch the man for even thinking about my Paula like that but I kept my cool, for everyone’s sake.

I had almost knocked the man down with a hard punch to the face, strong enough to break his teeth when I saw the searching look on my Paula’s face. Throwing my best I’ll-break-your-fucking-skull look I made my way towards the lady of the hour, the one who had mesmerized everyone in the hall.

As soon as I reached her, a beautiful smile spread across her angelic face, filling me with an unexplainable warmth. As I looked at her with an awed look on my face, she gave me a nervous smile and said,

“So do I stand up to your standards, Mr. Specter?”

“ You look ravishing,” I said, giving her a dazed look.

She laughed and said “You look like a kid who got to eat his favourite candy”

“Actually I feel like a kid who got to know that Christmas is arriving early and already got to see my gift, one I’m eager to unwrap,” I said smiling my iconic smirk, one which made all the girls drool for me.Well almost all.

“ Well, then I’m happy to tell you that if you behave really good tonight then you may get lucky enough to unwrap your present too”. She then moved her face real close to mine, clasping her hands around my neck and then as she stared into my eyes, she said.

“ After all what’s beneath is so,so…… much more enticing Mr. Specter” in her most seductive tone, one which made me shiver but not from cold( if you know what I mean). One look in her blue eyes relayed all her feelings of lust and love towards me but before I could say something back we were interrupted by an eager client.

She quickly put some space between us much to my disliking. I would very much like to push this client away and get back to our conversation about our late night activities to come but she smiled warmly at the client.

She moved closer to my ears and I could almost feel her lips on my earlobe, the almost touch sending electricity jolts all over my body,

“Think of me while I’m gone.” and with that, she excused herself from the conversation to get a drink. As she made a beeline for the bar I stared at her glorious retreating form, her movements keeping me enraptured till she was out of my sight.

That woman would be the death of me for sure, but Christ would it be one hell of a way to go down. With that thought in my mind and a smile pasted on my face, I turned towards the client who had been keenly talking all this time while I was mystified by Paula’s exquisite beauty.

After a while, I finally succeeded in ridding myself off that extremely enthusiastic client. Gods was he adamant or what. Lord knows that if I would have to bear one more word out of his mouth I would go mental. I quickly made way towards the bar, looking for Paula, hoping to pick our conversation from where we had left it off. I heard Paula before I saw her which was something that rarely happened as Paula was one of those people who had the patience of a priest, so hearing her angry voice was a rarity to say in the least.

As I turned towards the bar, I saw what had got her so heated up. In an instant, the sight left me fuming. What had got me so angry you ask? Well, the sight of the universal asshole and piece of crap called Travis Tanner was what had made me so angry. Or the way he was standing so close to her was what had me bent out of shape to be accurate. The way he was imposing his body over hers, almost touching yet a slice of space still left between them made my blood boil.

But before I could give him a piece of my mind and show him my world famous jaw punch I saw something surprising happen, almost like a chronicle in time, a memorable event for the years to come. I saw Paula standing up to the universal dick. I was a bit far away to hear what she was telling him, but by the angry look on his face and the smile on her face, I was guessing it was something really nasty. And then she stomped on his left foot and then left him standing there at the bar, hissing in pain

She was making her way towards where we were standing before when she saw me standing there, beside the bar, witnessing the whole event. As she made her way towards me a soft smile appeared on her face, replacing the previously placed sinister smile off her face. As she came to me, she saw my dazed and a bit proud expression at what had just transpired and said,

“Hey, mister. Saw something you liked, did you?”

For a moment I stood there mesmerized by the various abilities of this amazing creature that was before me, by her courage and her fearlessness. The information that this amazing human before me was mine to cherish and love made my chest swell with happiness and made me thank my stars yet again. I smiled my brilliant smile at her and took her small tender hands in mine. Then, slowly I said,

“ Dance with me you stunning angel” I said warmly smiling at her and taking her in my arms, swiftly drawing her towards a side spot on the dance floor, where many such couples were dancing to the slow music, that was flowing out of the speakers placed nearby, filling the air with their melodious tunes.

Soon we started swaying to the slow tune of the sound. Even with her heels, she came only up to my chest. At first, all we seemed to do was stare at each other. It seemed as if we were both captured by the beautiful pools of blue and brown of each other’s eyes. I always found it to be a bit too cheesy that lovers couldn’t tear their eyes away from their respective other, always so captured by each other’s beauty. To me, it always felt like a thing that was exaggerated way out of proportion by the society’s romantic writers, a feeling that was only seen in novels and not truly ever possible in real life. But Paula seemed to have changed that thought of mine as well.

It just seemed so easy to get lost in those pretty gem blue eyes of hers. As I looked at her, I could see all that she felt for me, in those sweet blue eyes; all her love, all her adoration for me, all of it was visible in those blue pools of hers. Truly, eyes are the doors to our souls. As I stared at her I only hoped that as she looked into my eyes, she too was able to see the immense love and respect that I have for her. I hoped that my eyes could portray all the emotions that I felt towards her, that I hadn’t been able to express through my words.

Soon the song changed and we broke contact and she settled her head close to my chest, almost resting her head there, against my chest. I slowly put my chin atop that beautiful head of blonde curls of hers and for those few moments, it seemed that everything was at peace. Like the whole world around us seemed to fade away and we were in our own little bubble, enjoying the silence, that was filled with love.

But the peace seemed to break when I gave a small chuckle which went on to become a full-blown laugh within a few seconds. Confused, with my sudden outburst of laughter Paula raised her head from my chest and looked at me with an expression of curiousity. As I took a moment to compose myself she waited patiently, looking at me with an arched eyebrow, a small smirk on her ruby red lips,

“Something amusing Mr. Specter?”

“ Nothing. I was just thinking about how you were looking when you were marching away from that scumbag Tanner, that angry look in your eyes and the sinister smile you were giving. To be truthful it was much different than what I had expected angry Paula to look like.” I said giving her a small amused smile yet again.

“Oh really! And what exactly, must I ask, had you expected angry me to look like?” She said a small amused smile on her face too.

“Well, I had expected you to resemble an angry little bunny. You know like a very cute dog trying to be threatening. More cute, less scary. Like an angry and pissed off but very adorable Bugs Bunny pissed off at not finding any of his favourite carrots.” I said smiling broadly just thinking of Paula in an angry rabbit getup.

“Well sorry to disappoint your angry bunny dreams. What did I seem like anyway?” she said looking at me with an expression of genuine curiousity at me.

“Well, you looked like the she-devil herself. I mean no offense but you had this scary, sinister smile on your lips, one that said don’t you fucking mess with me or else. And your eyes had this crazed fury in them, one that could literally burn you just by the intensity. I mean honestly, you looked really scary and your gorgeous looks only added to the scare factor, making you the literal embodiment of “a hot and raging ball of fire”, I think. “ I said looking at her face carefully, trying to gauge her reaction to my description of her expression.

But instead of getting angry or annoyed she just nodded and said,
“ Good to know that I made an impression on that ass, one that will hopefully ward him off from his future attempts to approach me when I’m alone,” she said.

Seeing her reply and cold demeanor I got a little worried about what that asshole might have said to Paula to make her that angry. I was ready to deal that piece of shit as long as he only came to me but I wouldn’t let him touch her. Nu-uh. Now that was crossing a line.

“Paula, what did that good for nothing Travis Tanner say to get you that angry? I swear to lord if he tried to disrespect you in any way then you just need to tell me and I’ll gladly go and break his fucking jaw. I swear my hands are just itching at the thought of giving him a piece of my mind.” I said getting a bit agitated just by the thought of him being disrespectful towards Paula. That idiot was going to be dead the next time he dared to show me his face, I silently swore to myself.

“Hey Hey! Stop right there. I’m not a damsel in distress Harvey. As much as I appreciate you coming to help me I don’t need you to battle my wars, and I certainly don’t need you to step in when I can handle that sleazeball myself. Trust me by the time I left, his face looked fifty shades of anger. Anyway, don’t waste the evening thinking about that ass. I don’t want to waste another second thinking about that idiot.” she said with a determined look in her eyes and a small smile on her lips.

Seeing the determined look in her eyes I gave up on trying to find out what that imbecile had said. The rest of the night quickly passed away in meeting all the eager clients and my most important colleagues mainly Jessica, Donna, Mike, Rachel and of course how could I forget- Louis. The night seemed nowhere near to be coming to an end and it seemed that the party was going to extend to the late hours of the night.

Paula wished to stay with me for as long as possible but I could see that she was feeling very tired and sleepy from the whole day’s hard work, not to mention the nervousness and dress shopping for the gala. So in spite of her many refusals to go home, I put aside my desire to keep her in my arms all night and then go home and sleep, with her by my side, I decided that it was best if she went back to my apartment for the night, it being closer than her own apartment. After many disagreements with her and a bit of morning cupcake and coffee bribing, I succeeded in convincing her to go home with Ray.

As I kissed her goodbye I realized that it was my first kiss of the night, and sadly also the goodnight kiss making it the only kiss I was gonna get that night. But as Paula was leaving she turned back and came running to me and quickly hugged me. I gathered her in a warm bear hug and we stood there for a minute or two, absorbing it all and relishing the joyous feeling of being in each other’s arms before Ray came to tell us that the car was ready and waiting. With one last kiss on her forehead, I sent her on her way back to the apartment.

And as I proceeded on with the night, filled with meeting various clients , I realized that even though Paula may not be there with me physically throughout the night yet she was always around me in her essence, with her sweet strawberry scent which always seemed to surround me and her smile in my mind, and the warmth of her blue eyes continued to shine brightly in my heart, keeping her there right with me, filling me with warmth in the cold autumn night.

Truly this night had gone much much better than I had ever expected it to go. Once again Paula had not failed to mesmerize me, right from her beauty to her courage, everything about her made me dizzy with love and adoration for her. This night served as another proof that I did not deserve as amazing and astounding a woman as Paula but I swore that I would work each day to make myself worthy of being with her, and cherish her each day of my life for as long as she graced my life with her presence, no matter what.

END OF PART 2

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Chapter Text

Sorry I’ve not posted for the last few months.. I was experiencing what is usually called a writer’s block I believe. But don’t you worry I’m back all hyped and ready to write for all u lovely and amazing people. But since I’ve not been very good of a writer these last few months and u’ve all been starved of the Harvey love, I want to be a bit more generous here. So here’s what I want u people to do.

Comment in the section below what genre you would like for the next chapter and one thing that u’d like to see happening in the next few chapters. When I say genre I mean what u want the focus of the chapter to be. Eg: Jealous Harvey, or Sweet Sunday, or A brush with danger or just plain old romance..(No need to indulge my love for dramatic headings). You know something like that. When I say the thing u want happening I mean what in general u really wish to see Harvey doing next.

This is an itsy bitsy attempt by me at redemption for being so inconsiderate these last few months and my attempt to fulfill all your amazing hearts with Harvey love. Since I love u all I’ll try my best to fulfill all your requests but you have one week to put in all your requests after which I won’t accept any more requests. Then I’ll start working on the chapters and I’ll try my best to be quick and efficient yet at the same still loving and showering immense Harvey love.

So all I ask of you is to be a bit more patient and be ready to be knee deep in Harvey love. <3

PS: I love u all…. Thanx for sticking with me and patiently waiting for me.

See u later, Alligators. ( No need to point it out. I already know how lame that sounds. So yeah. )

Regards,
Your lame writer :P

Chapter Text

HARVEY'S POV

I and Paula have been dating for a long time now, almost an year, which for someone with my track record is a really really long time, almost similar to a Guinnes World Record in my books. And it was not even the fact that we had lasted this long, it didn’t matter how long we had lasted if in the end we had to give up on each other and end this, just like a burning candle, which even though runs bright for a long time , in the end it ultimately goes out, leaving darkness in its wake. I always thought that the people who survived a really long relationship somehow always ended up in a situation where one person of the couple was mostly unhappy, the one who always agrees to compromise for the other’s happiness. Oh boy how I couldn’t be more wrong.

I had no idea that a relationship wasn’t just a word, just a new burden to bear, just another bunch of limitations to tie yourself down to it was so so much more. I never realised that a relationship wasn’t just a responsibility, but something else, a whole different thing, it meant that there would always be a person I could lean on when I was caught up in a particularly sticky and mother-fucking (no offense) situation I never wanted to face, which in my profession and with my mighty luck tends to pop up most times( Bless my great luck. I can see Satan getting ideas, smiling down upon me. Ugh )

I never truly understood that it was what kept you afloat even when you felt like drowning to the depths of the sea, the person who would always accept me even when I myself couldn’t accept myself, the person who would always be by my side, through happy times and especially through the hard times, the ones where I felt like bashing someone’s head into the walls, it was what kept me from losing my mind on the craziest of days, what always succeeded to pull me back from the brink of insanity, when even a tiny push could take me over .(A/N: Yes if u caught that subtle hint, then u r as crazy over it as I am)

I never truly fathomed any of this ,continued to be deprived of all of this , all up until I met Paula. Truly, meeting her changed my perspective of life. She truly entered my life like a whirlwind, leaving everything different however, I realized that unlike a whirlwind she was here to stay, almost becoming a loving and most welcome constant in my life . With all her small things, small habits, right from keeping the tooth brushes always facing away from the sink to always keeping the volume of the television at an odd value, all her silly thoughts like what would happen if we finally were able to control gravity on the earth and what would she be wearing if there happened to be an alien invasion. I loved it all.

All her craziness, her nervous ramblings, her stupid insecurities, her silly fears, her cute pout, her I’m-focusing-my-best while looking like a cute bunny look, I loved it all. How couldn’t I? How could anyone resist her ? My Paula was just that adorable and every other god forsaken synonym for cute. Truly she was such an amazing and beautiful person that words failed me whenever I think of describing her influence and effect on my life in such a short time . Sometimes when she gave me one of her full bright smiles, I felt my heart stop for a moment and felt as if I could not fill my lungs with any air, afraid that even a trivial act like that would shake her out of the smile and break this beautiful perfect moment.

They say that you are truly in love with someone when you enjoy not only the big events of life but also the small, unnecessary and silly ,meaningless yet meaningful acts too. This was what I experienced with Paula each day. Every day, I felt that as the sun rose above in the sky, painting it crimson I too felt that Paula painted my life a beautiful crimson as she entered my life. I enjoyed every second, every moment with her, regardless of what we were doing at that moment, be it buying some takeout or getting a quick session in the gym with her. Every thing seemed to be filled with happiness by the mere existence of this woman. Often while in her company, I found myself smiling away like a lovesick fool, simply feeling happy and content in that moment.

Today was one of those silly and ordinary days when nothing quintessential or life altering happened yet it was imprinted in my memory as a really good day of my life, something which I had grossly been lacking in before Paula came in. Today was one of my favourite days of the week – Sunday.

Yes I know, I know…. You’re thinking of course it is. Such a clichéd thing that I love the weekend given the amounts of work I do but its more than that, its something more closer to home. My choice of Sunday as my favourite day was because before my whole family was devoured by my mother’s infidelity, before the shit storm hit us, we had been a happy family, a normal family if you may say.

During those days, Sundays were the best days of the week, my brother, dad and I, we would all go out to play baseball in the afternoon sun, and in the evening when we returned home we’d be greeted by the alluring aroma of my mother’s pot roast and apple pie. I still remember the dinner scene with as much stark clarity as though it was yesterday only, how happy we looked , how the colours and aromas around us seemed to relay joy itself, how much in love my parents looked as they stared at each other sitting from across the dining table. Everything about the scene seemed to be filled with content and domestic peace.
The scene seemed to be imprinted in my mind, a significant memory which brought warmth to me as soon as I remembered it. It remained as one of the few happy memories of my childhood which had remained untainted by the catastrophic effects of my mother’s infidelity and its reveal.

This is why Sunday was my favourite day of the whole week, because it remained as a symbol of happiness to me, a symbol of hope that one day maybe…just maybe if I’m fortunate enough I’ll have something similar to it with my Paula. So Sundays held a somewhat important place in my heart. Today was one of those pleasant Sundays. And unlike as people would have expected of me, given that I seem to be muscular and quite fit, which I am, no question there ( I mean..Hello, have u looked at me.. * points to himself* Man candy all the way ), yet I don't spend my Sundays in gym rather I spend them at home being a lazy ass, slothing around all day, but today was going to be even better, cause Paula was coming over, to give me company amongst other things .

Now I’m warning you here nothing big or extremely important happened today, so beware of boredom here. I just wish you could feel what I felt throughout the day, going through a plethora of emotions while spending my day with Paula, just at peace and content within our happy little bubble, separated from the world if only for a few peaceful hours.

Initially Paula had come in the apartment using the spare key that she had and entered my bedroom to wake me up, but after several failed decent attempts at waking me she decided on taking a more serious and effective approach towards this. As she stood there thinking of a more serious way to go about this, I slyly and silently slipped open my eyes and took a peak at her beautiful form.

She stood there with that cute I’m focusing-really-hard-bunny-look on her face, looking almost as cute as the animated snowman from Frozen (and yes I have seen Frozen. I’m a busy person, not an alien who just entered the atmosphere and landed on Earth yesterday).As she stood there thinking of ways to wake me up I took in the scene in all its unnoticed glory. The morning sunlight seemed to be filtering into the room, coming in through the misted windows of the room, bathing the whole room in its beautiful sunlight. The stark beauty of the scene was magnified ten folds by Paula, who seemed to be glowing in the sunlight, her golden hair creating a sort of beautiful golden cover around her face, her sweet yet mischievous eyes glowing a beautiful blue, looking almost ethereal as she stood there in my room.

While I was stuck there, staring away at my angel , she was trying to think of a way to wake me up. Suddenly her face lit up, as a glorious smile graced her face, as she suddenly thought of a very effective idea to wake me up. As she turned around to get on with her plan to wake me up, I slowly started sliding out of my bed. And as she stood there , with her back to me I slowly approached her from behind and just as she was about to turn and put her nefarious plan to work, I slipped my arms around her waist, successfully locking and entrapping her in my embrace and took her back to the bed, all the while trapped in my arms. Soon after I jumped back in bed with her, I quickly wrapped my arms around her, successfully preventing her from escaping.

Before she could squeal anymore and make any more cute and feeble yet miserably failing attempts to escape my embrace, I quickly pulled her back to my chest and locked her in my embrace. Our bodies were so close to each other that she could feel my breath on the skin behind her ears, and as much she would have refused to admit it she too was enjoying it as much as I was enjoying it. When she realized the position we were in and that her fiddling only caused me to bring her body closer to me, she stopped and gave up on all her attempts to try and escape my arms, which seemed to be locked in a deathly grip around her small body.

“Harvey what are you doing? We’re supposed to be up and awake. It’s the only day of the week that we get completely to ourselves, we should make the best of this and get to work. Come on” she said, slightly turning her head to peek a glance at my bedridden and sleepy head, my hair sticking out in all directions, making me look like a half awake half asleep zombie.

“ Oh I do aim to put it to the best use, but I do not understand the need to get out of this bed to do that” I said getting my face a bit more close to hers.

“ Oh really! And how do u aim to achieve that exactly” she said turning her head a bit more, almost completely sideways now.

“Oh trust me I have many ways to achieve that. I’ve been told I’m very very adept at them. I’m sure you’ll leave as a satisfied customer.. rather I promise you” I said bringing my lips very close to her ear, almost touching her ear lobe, whispering the last part in her ear.

“ Really.. Hmm.. I don’t know if I’m interested in that sort of service right now. Not really convinced of the product’s quality. I think I’ll have to test the goods.” She said turning towards me almost completely, our lips almost touching.

“ Hmm.I think a testing can be arranged surely.” I said , looking straight into her eyes, our breaths mingling.

“ Hmm. Oh really ?”

“Yes…really..” I said moving further to kiss her , our lips now only a hair apart.

Then suddenly she pulled back and said , “Oh but wait what about the warranty ? I mean that’s really important when buying a product”.

“ Oh really u want warranty now? Well you already own my heart. I’d like to think that is enough warranty in itself but if you want more I’ll be ready to deliver I to you” I said looking in her eyes, with an intense gaze.

“ Oh Harvey. Leave it to you to mellow me down with your cheesy lines early in the morning. You know I’m already your girlfriend and quite literally in your bed so you don’t need to send those cheesy lines my way anymore.” She said trying to break away from my intense gaze, laughing my statement off as another cheesy line.

“No, I will not let you degrade yourself like that. And its not just a cheesy line Paula. I really meant it. You do own my heart. My body. My mind. Everything. You’re my everything Paula. I know it sounds cheesy but it’s the absolute truth. I love you . No its more than that. I don’t just love you. I need you. People can change their love for things but their needs, those never change. I need you. I need you like the very air I breathe. You own me, body and soul, all of it, its yours. I love you , my angel in darkness, my light on the darkest eclipses of my life. I love and need you, today and forever, my angel.” I said looking her straight in her eyes, with one of my intense gazes, trying to make her understand what she meant to me, hoping that she could see the depth and the very intensity of what I felt for her. In that moment I lay my heart open wide in front of her, all my raw emotions put out there, all out for her to see.

The result of this sudden blabbering of mine was a fierce hug from her, followed by a passionate kiss and an even more passionate and intense 4 hours after this, where I did my best to convince her of my love for her with my body. In those few hours of the morning I truly understood the difference between just having sex and making love to someone. While the former was solely a physical act, the later one was so much more, an exceptional combination of two bodies and souls becoming one, of two people melding into one, truly accepting and loving each and every part of the other.

After our strenuous albeit truly fulfilling activity, the both of us seemed to be too lazy and too tired to do anything so we just snoozed on the bed for a long time. Almost uptil 3 in the noon and I’m positive that we would have just dozed off more had our stomachs not disturbed our peaceful sleeps with their rather loud and noisy hunger pangs . So we decided that it was time to get up and feed our hungry selves or we'd quite literally be reduced down to eating each other.

Chapter Text

PART 2

HARVEY'S POV

While I wish I could say that we had a simple brunch inside the house that would be a humongous lie. So after quite unsuccessfully trying to cook lunch and almost burning half the apartment down in the process I decided that it was best to salvage whatever daylight time was left and go out to get some lunch rather than burning my apartment down to the ground. So with the mission in our heads and the hunger pangs pushing and motivating us sufficiently, we quickly made our way downstairs and out in the open to go to a nearby bistro to get some brunch to snack on.

We quickly reached the bistro and went to order a giant pizza to feed our dragon-like hunger. While we waited for the order to arrive we tried talking about work and how things were at office and in general. It felt less like I was out with my girlfriend, with a reputation to maintain and more like I was out with a really really good friend, talking with an unhindered ease and happiness. There were only a few dozen people whom I was so comfortable talking to and Paula was on the top of that list now. The easy pace with which the conversation flowed between us was quite refreshing and almost euphoric and relaxing in a way.

When she finally saw our waiter carrying our food towards us it seemed that she was going to pounce on the food like a hungry animal. But even then she would resemble a hungry wild rabbit, getting ready to eat. Gosh she was so adorable. Sometimes her pure beauty and sheer innocence along with her inability to hide anything that she felt from immediately making its way onto her face was quite spectacular and exhilarating to look at.

The way she sank her tiny little bunny teeth into the pizza slice along with the heavenly look on her face was quite funny and unmatched, even to me who had just spent the last four hours to get her to show me all her expressive looks and noises. However, she quickly transformed from a tiny hungry rabbit to a shoal of hungry piranha fishes, quickly eating away all the pieces of pizza. Thank gods we had decided to come downstairs and have lunch or else I think if we would have spent a few more hours up there without any food in us, I think she would have actually been open to the idea of eating me for lunch. Not that I would taste bad but I'm just saying. Yikes.

Now seeing the last remains of the massacred pizza left on the plate I was glad that I had decided to go for a grilled cheeze burger instead of the pizza or else I would have been starved as I would have watched miss I'll-eat-up-anyone-right-now swallow down a whole pepperoni pizza all by herself within a matter of few minutes. After finally having ravished down everything that was presented before us I finally went off to pay the bill at the cash counter while I told Paula to wait outside for me . It took me a few more minutes than what I expected but when I came out I saw Paula looking towards a stranger crossing the road, who was coincidentally dressed in a similar manner as I. Then suddenly the man crossing the road was hit by an oncoming car and I suddenly saw Paula shouting my name, running at full speed to the now bleeding man on the road.

Seeing this I quickly made my way to her and tapped her on the shoulders as she stood there with shock and worry spread all across her face. When she turned to me I could see the tear tracks of the freshly shed tears on her rosy cheeks and her blue eyes wide with shock and filled with water. She quickly jumped towards me and hugged me with all her might while I stood there rubbing her back and retuning the warm yet sudden hug. What on bloody gargoylean Earth had happened here?

PAULA'S POV (SURPRISE SURPRISE [ BONUS POV OFFERING FROM YOUR AUTHOR] )

I had just stepped out on the sidewalk, waiting while Harvey paid the bill and came out. That was a really satisfying Pizza. We should come here more often. Hmmm. Maybe we will come again after one of our many future heated sessions. Oofff the things that man did to me..Just thinking of them made me blush and made my whole face heat up. The things that man could do with his hands should be made illegal. But I don't think that too could have stopped me from craving them ... oooooofff.. now was not the time to feel hot and bothered again.

As I stood there getting lost in these thoughts of Harvey I suddenly saw the man himself standing in front of me, bit further away from me and closer to the road, his back towards me. Huh. I didn't see that. Was he really wearing those grey shoes when we came down to get lunch. Oh who knows maybe he was .With those treacherous distracting beautiful eyes of his I don't think I would have noticed anything else, even if he would have worn a sac k alone.

I quickly saw him crossing the road moving away from me and so to stop him from going to the wrong side I called out his name but he didn't respond. I tried again but he didn't reply this time either. Now I was starting to worry. Why wasn't he replying? What happened? Has something happened back at home, or back at office?

As I stood there with worry in my eyes , I suddenly saw an oncoming car hit Harvey right as he was crossing the road. In a second my entire life changed. I saw the car pulling back and then rushing away as Harvey lay there on the road a pool of blood forming around him. A small crowd had started to form around him and for a few moments I was rooted to my place, my heart frozen with terror and fear of what had just happened. I quickly called Harvey's name hoping it would help lower down my panic a bit and quickly ran to him. I tried pushing my way in through the crowd as a constant stream of tears had now started flowing from my terror filled eyes.

For a second I felt like I couldn't breathe. Seeing him there in the pool of blood surrounding of him, like a cloud of sorrow and pain, engulfing him slowly. I felt as though it wasn't him who had been hit but me who was hit by that car, the wind knocked out of me , my breathing ragged and lungs aching at their inability to pump air into my body. But as I reached down and turned the body to take a look at my beautiful Harvey's now blood dipped face, what I saw gave me yet another shock.

It wasn't him.

It wasn't my Harvey.

It was someone else.

Where is my Harvey ?

What happened ?

But I saw him... B..bu...but he was here.

Where is he?

Where's my Harvey?

Where is HE??

But as I stood there with confusion and worry heavy in my head, I felt a tap on my shoulder and on turning I saw him. My Harvey. Oh my beloved Harvey. He's here. He's fine. Oh he's alright. But seeing him just wasn't enough of proof. I quickly jumped on him hugging him as tightly as I possibly could, my head on his chest, close to his heart, the sound of his heartbeat slowly lulling me into a state of calm, easing down my panic stricken body.

And as we stood there on the road, I realised that I loved him. That this beautiful man of mine was it for me. He was the one for me. The one whom I truly and madly loved. The man who was now my everything. Even the thought of ever losing him shook me to my very core. This man was my entire world now. My happiness and my joy. The very breath that I breathe. I don't think I could bear to be even a second away from him and the very thought of separating from him left me with a sickly cold feeling in my stomach and chills running all over my skin, as though already missing the familiar warmth of his body and love.

After what felt like ages I pulled back and looked him in his beautiful eyes, as though soaking his presence in , trying to convince my brain that he was here, right here , by my side, fine and breathing.

"What happened Paula? Hey I'm fine. Look at me. I'm fine. I'm alright. Now can you just please tell me what happened, Baby? Please, babe, you're worrying me now." Harvey said, looking at me with those big warm brown eyes of his.

And in that moment as he looked at my face, tear tracks all over it, worry now covering his confused face, all I could say to him in that moment was the realisation that I had felt in those horrifying terror stricken moments, the ones that my heart was aching to push out before him.

"I love you, Harvey Specter."

HARVEY'S POV

For a moment when she said those words my mind couldn't actually process them. I needed a moment to absorb what she had said and then understand the meaning of those words.

"What? Paula what happened? Where is this coming from? " I said, trying to confirm if I had heard her right.

" Nowhere Harvey. It doesn't matter what happened. All that matters is that I just realized that I love you. Utterly and completely. That's all. Promise me you'll never ever let me go. Ever . Promise?" she said, a questioning look on her face.

"Yes I promise you Paula I'll never let you go. Not even if you want me to leave. Not even then baby. We're in for the long haul now. There's no escaping me now. You didn't think a clingy person like me would let you go , did u?" I said trying to use my humour to keep me from getting overwhelmed with happiness on hearing those words come out of her lips.

" I wouldn't dream of it, not in a million years" she said, a bright sunny smile now gracing her beautiful face.
And then, as she wiped away the rest of her tears, I took her hand in mine and we started making our way back to the apartment to take some rest from the rather eventful noon .

Although no Sunday with my angel is any less than perfect, today's Sunday was extraordinarily special. It was more than perfect. It was imperfectly perfect. Not only did I get to finally hear Paula say those words, after Paula's revelation of the incident later in the day, I also realised the fragility of our mortal lives and made a vow to myself , promising to make the most of my rest of life, to live each second of it like it was the last. And to make it my mission to cherish and love this angel of mine, till my very last breath.

Chapter Text

Always and Forever
Song inspiration : I GET TO LOVE YOU- RUELLE

When I was single, which was usually the case for me, one of the holidays that I almost always hated was the stupid, annoying holiday of lovers all around the bloody lovesick world. Yes , you guessed it right. Valentine's Day. Back then, I simply didn't get the need to celebrate this stupid holiday, this monstrosity that had been imposed on this world and had spread like an infectious virus all round the world. It's not that I had anything against the people who were in love or who were in a relationship. No, not at all. But what i hated was the over the top nonsensical crap that was used to celebrate this holiday, the sickeningly sweet chocolates, god awful terribly chosen gifts, and the silly bouquets of flowers which if counted alone on that day would go as high as the entire population of China.

I mean what is it about this day that requires this outwardly show of affection. I'm not against Public Display of Affection. I mean hell half the times I'm with Paula I could be arrested for all the kisses that I steal from my girl. It's more of me hating the idea that this day represents to most . It's like people feel that it's the only day to do something special for your significant other. It's almost as though people feel it's okay to behave like an ass to your partner as long as you got them a perfect valentine's day gift and a brilliant birthday gift.

I mean why only on this day? Why just a single day to show your loved one affection? Are other days not as special as this one day? Does your love restrict itself to only one day of freedom to shower you lover with adoration? How can one day be enough to show your that one person how much they mean to you?

Besides, I've never truly cherished the whole idea of materialistic gifts. I mean yes, sometimes materialistic gifts are actually what is needed to lift your significant other's spirits. God knows a Prada bag has never failed me in getting me out of a pickle with Donna. And I've had enough women in my life to know that a shiny charcoal piece never fails. Only god knows how thankful I have been to know that a Tiffany's store is located just near the office and is almost open at all hours. It's been my shit-I-forgot-to-get-a-gift spot for a long time now and has saved me from getting in a lot of trouble with many people , specially Jessica, even though I'm pretty sure she knows it almost every time that I forgot to buy her a birthday gift.

But the fact that every time you celebrate this sweet, sickening day its mostly overflowing with chocolates and stupid roses is just too much *gags*. I mean on all days everyone is so worried about the environment but on this day we suddenly give it all up and willingly go ahead with our conspiracy of mass murder of the rose plants all around the world. I had pledged to myself a long time ago that if I ever came to a part of my life where I decided to celebrate this day with someone whom I truly was in love with, and not just locked up in my office, then it would be something thoughtful and meaningful. Something which I couldn't have just bought off a store around the corner. Something which represented the time and love it required to make something as precious as the relationship between us work.

With that situation finally appearing in my life, god knows i was almost this close to giving up on this idea ever being completed, even if that would earn me another week's taunts from Louis, who had apparently always been out celebrating this stupid day. What he did still remained a mystery but one time I saw him harassing a poor girl in the bar downstairs and then his equally hilarious cruel rejection which ended with beer down his pants. The memory of that scene still cracked me up but I had left before I could have witnessed more of Louis' "Litt Up Charm" in action.

This time though, everything was different. This time I would be spending this day with Paula. That tiny fact changed everything. I wanted it to be something thoughtful. Something which was inimitable. Something which was almost as happy and sweet as my Paula was. So after a lot of thought (trust me a lot of coffee driven after office hours went into this ) and in the light of the last week events of burning almost the entire apartment down I decided on learning to cook.

I'll admit I didn't initially plan for it to be a valentine's day gift rather I wished for it to be a birthday gift for Paula which would have given me a lot of time on my hands, at least a few months as her birthday was late in the year, towards the end. But as with everything in my life, I wanted to go about the process quickly and after having classes for almost a month now, which by the way hiding from Paula was in itself a gargantuan task, I finally decided to go in for the kill and speed plan up to suit my valentine's day plans.

But that wasn't the only thing that pushed me to take this step so quickly. Last week Paula had thought I was close to death and this falsely fatal situation had pushed her to a realization: that she loved me and she had been vocal about it. All this pushed me to a realization of my own, one that seemed to shatter my walls in a magnificent manner, leaving nothing but empty space waiting to be filled by Paula's love. I realised that I was utterly and irrevocably, completely and madly in love with this beautiful, gorgeous woman.

It's not something that happened overnight though the realization of it all seems so surreal. All this pushed me to take this step because i wanted her to know that she was special, that she wasn't an ordinary woman, I wanted her to feel amazing and glowing with happiness whenever she was with me ,something which each woman deserved to feel. I wanted her to feel as blessed and thankful as I felt whenever she was with me, thinking how I got so lucky as to be here with her.

So I finally decided to go ahead with this idea. Consequences be damned. As long as we don't end up eating poisoned food we'll be fine, right? Wrong . That was a big understatement. I had done a rehearsal prep of lunch before the big V-day and boy oh boy how thankful was that I decided on this brilliant idea or the food wouldn't have been the only surprise Paula would have got the next day. Suffice it to say I've never been so thankful for my pre installed trust and helpful smoke detectors. Also did u know that it took the fire fighters about only 5 minutes to get to my apartment. Apparently there's a fire station just round the corner owing to the short and quick response time. Also note to self the fire fighter kink- yeah that's a total myth. Not all the firefighters are hunks. And not all of them look sexy af in sweat, rather they look a bit too filthy and are way too smelly to come anywhere near the territory of sexy. And before u go on a weird Louis-like train of thought no I am not gay and no I wasn't checking them out , I was just observing, something normal homo sapiens do. So naturally Louis had a hard time understanding that.

Finally after a deathly day of practice cooking I was done and prepared for the big day. I planned for Paula to meet me at my apartment as usual. I didn't want her to even have a small inkling about what I was planning and I wanted it to be a total surprise. As usual she arrived and I went down to bring her up, even though I didn't need to but I wanted her to feel special. When we finally made it to the apartment , just before entering the apartment she stopped me . I turned and was instantly pulled into her electric gaze, her brown eyes shining like tiny specs on the horizon, swimming over the beautiful green blue sea. After a moment I was finally able to focus on what she was saying, her peach coloured lips moving in enchanting waves .

"Harvey? Love, are you listening?"
(A/N: Yes I know she's not said that once on the show but come on she's British and have u ever met a Brit who doesn't use the word LUV , if not regularly then at least quite few times in a week. So yeah I added that in )

"Uh yeah, sorry . I was a bit distracted by those beguiling eyes of yours." I said smiling towards her, feeling my smile grow as a slight red spread on her cheeks.

" Uhm....ok...yeah..what was I saying ? Oh right. Look I know we agreed that we wouldn't do any gifts on valentine's and gosh am I thankful that you are as much against a mass murder of beautiful flowers as I am, I've still got u a gift. I just couldn't resist. But u'll be happy to know that I technically didn't break our agreement of not buying something new. So I guess u could say I found out a loop hole in there. Guess I am taking after you a bit. Ok here's the gift. Open it. Tell me if you like it. " she said, taking out a blood red coloured box out of her purse and handing it to me.

For a moment I was nervous about what she got and then almost instantly that feeling was replaced by a feeling of curiousity and excitement over this unexpected gift. I carefully tore off the wrapping paper and opened the small box. What was inside was something which truly caught me off guard. At first I had expected it to be a watch or something of the sort but after her "not bought anything" comment I was left not knowing what to expect.

I looked in and saw a pair of silver cufflinks. They were tiny squares with black gems studded in the centre. The cufflinks were simple and beautiful silver strands of words were covering the black gem. But what struck out the most was the words that were engraved over the gem. Seeing those words , Harvey, The Harvey Specter , felt his eyes prick with the weight of those unshed tears that seemed to have come alive the instant he set eyes on those beautiful engraved words. As though in trance and disbelief, he once again read those words, this time reading them aloud , in hopes of breaking out this beautiful reverie like scene before him.

" I will always choose your heart,

Forever and Always "

As he felt the happiness bloom in his heart, he looked up and found those beautiful eyes gazing back at him. And for a moment, everything was still yet full of life. It seemed that neither of the spoke, but only stared at each other. But it felt like the two were having a conversation of their own. But isn't that what love was ? To understand when words are needed and listen to the silence when words are gone.

And in that moment everything seemed to stop for a second. Evert hing was perfect. The way her hair was tied in a messy bun, how her apparently dirty hair, which as per her schedule now needed a good wash, and how the said 'dirty' hair escaped that bun and fell all over her face, all of it was perfect. The way her lips seemed to have only the chipped off remnants of her peach lipstick. How her lashes seem to flutter when she felt a bit nervous at the slightest sight of worry. All of it was just..... (A/N: Read it like a sigh) perfect. She....... was perfect and she was mine. This tiny fact seemed to fill me with fear , making me realize that I had finally put myself out there but for some reason I was scared yet I felt that it was gonna be fine as long as I was with her , it would always be fine.

After what seemed like an eternity but was a minuscule tiny second we broke our gaze and i turned back to the door opening it.

"Thank you for the gift. I really liked it. Its beautiful." I said as we walked into my apartment, which stood still , ready for the surprise to be unveiled. There was pitch dark blackness all around and as we walked in I made my way towards the switches to get the lights.

" Why are the lights all off? And I'm glad you liked it . It really was a very difficult thing to make. Anyway my dad always did say that gifts created, not bought are the best ones so I'm glad you liked it.

((AN: In usual cases, but there are always exceptions' like when u really need a laptop for ur school work, then tht laptop is the best gift ever, idc if its materialistic so ..yeah u see exceptions... carry on :))

"Well I'm glad u said that cause I really hope you like this gift I created for you" I said as i switched the lights on.

"Oh my goood..Harvey.. In don't know what to say. OH MY LORD. JESUS CHRIST. I ...uh.... oh god..." she said.

end of part 1

Chapter Text

FIRST PERSON POV
I was working in my studio. Almost done with the packing. Can't believe I'll be leaving all of this behind. All of this. All these things that I built. All these beautiful things I created while I was here. All these memories . I'll miss them all, all these walls, all these silly curtains which I was never able to pull back completely, the slightly leaky taps in the workstation sink, all these tiny crevices in the wall which gave it a slightly used look even though I literally painted one thing or the other on these walls almost every other month whenever the mood struck. I'll miss the slightly creaky doors which seemed to give the studio a sort of creepy and ghost like appeal at night. I'll miss the warmth that this place has always offered me, the feeling of coming to home. In fact this has been my home in so many ways, much more than my apartment ever could be. I don't think I've ever experienced as amazing and safe a feeling at my apartment as I felt at this place. Sure, my apartment was filled with tiny things that made it mine, giving it that personal touch but in the end it was still the same, a simple four walled apartment. There was mostly no one inside them to make it a home. I've always felt much more at ease when I'm among these things in my workshop, the paints, the plain easels just waiting for someone to paint all over them, the wooden brushes softly bristling in the cool, night breeze waiting to be touched to create magic on paper, the uncut cloths scattered all across the table giving it a serene yet funky look .

As a kid too I always felt much more comfortable when I was among my paints and colours and easels and brushes and clay sculptures and cloths and stuff. I never understood why I was this way but now I think I do. I used to think that I preferred it that way because I was just built that way, an introvert if you will call me that, a person who preferred her own company much more than others'. But now, after what I've been through these last months, I think there's another reason for this habit and preference of mine. We all know that when we open ourselves to others we open ourselves to happiness and joy and so many more experiences. But what we don't realise is that at the same time we also open ourselves to sadness and hurt and pain and so many more things that we'd be better off without ever knowing. I think that even as a kid I always knew this and so I was rather happy keeping myself somewhat closed and not getting attached to anyone too much, as it was the best way for me to save myself from what I see as the worst kind of pain there is: the pain of a broken heart. I think that as humans we all need someone to help us survive through life, to move past the darkest times in our lives, to cry with in our sadnesses and to laugh and smile with in our joys. But I don't think that all of us are brave enough to open ourselves to that kind of a whirlwind of feelings. And I think as a child I developed this habit to protect myself from getting hurt in any way, never feeling brave enough. But what I didn't realise was that the very walls that I had built to keep the pain away also kept my happiness and true joy away from me. I always thought that I would never have the kind of love people read about in books and drooled over in the movies. I convinced myself that it was not meant it happen for girls like me, girls who were far away from being the Julia Roberts in a world like ours , girls who were always going to be stuck in the background, the actresses supporting Julia Roberts in the background of the movie, overlooked by most. And for most of my life this proved to be true and I became somewhat accustomed to living this way, to living in this small ,safe, comfortable, closed bubble that I had created for myself, happy with my paints and easels, free from being judged by these inanimate things or having to bear the burden of fulfilling their expectations from me. But all of this was destroyed when he entered into my life.

Slowly he crept into my life, chipping away precariously at these walls I had built all around me, slowly breaking them down, one brick at a time. I didn't even realize but he had slowly become a big part of my life. Sometimes , in a few of those insecure moments when I felt completely defeated , ready to give up, he became my entire world, my only friend, the only one who I could trust, the only person in this world who truly understood me and read me as well as an open book. The one to whom I turned to in my hardest moments, the one in whom I confided my darkest and deepest hidden insecurities, putting bare all of my fears before him. Slowly he became as important to me as the very air that I breathed, interweaving himself so deep in my life that now I can't even seem to remember a time when he was not in my life.

But I never realised how hard it was for him to be with me. How taxing loving me could be. How toxic I was to him. I never seemed to realise the pain that I was causing him and still caused him without ever wanting to do so. I never realised how painful it was to love me. Or maybe I did but I just didn't want to let him go, not yet, not when I had just understood what it was to be truly cared for, to be loved without any inhibitions, to sleep in his warm arms which had become my new home, my new warm safe abode, to have someone to talk to and listen to , to have someone bring me coffee and send me flowers on random days just to light my mood up. Not when I had just understood what it felt like to care for someone so much that they became more important than even your own self, to love someone so deeply that their pain seemed to be replicated for you and if possible then ten times multiplied when felt by you, to cook for someone without any strings attached and just for the sheer happiness of it, to feel a warmth in your heart every time you saw them smile at you, giving you a warmth similar to that which you felt when you sat inside huddled up alongside a warm cozy fire while it snowed heavily outside.

But I do understand now. I think I'm ready to let him go now. I have to be. I can't not be. Because I couldn't put him through this pain any longer. I had been too selfish for far too long but I couldn't let that happen anymore. It wasn't fair, not to him and certainly not to me. He deserved to love someone who was just as good and pure as he was, who could love him with just as much intensity and passion as he loved others. Which is why breaking up from him was the best decision, for both of our sakes. It may have been the best but it certainly wasn't painless, rather it was more painful than ever. I think it was certainly one of the hardest things I have had to endure in my entire life and I have been in a bone-cracking, dreadful road accident. But having to break up with him was not the end that I so desperately wished for, rather due to my work I was now forced to see him every day, even if it was from a distance. Seeing him everyday seemed to remind me of the happiness that we had when we were together, of the laughs and smiles which we so easily gave to each other, something which seemed to be a Herculean task these days. I had read somewhere that time could heal all wounds but in my case it didn't seem to be working. Rather it seemed that in my case it was having the opposite effect. The more time passed, the more my resolve started dissolving and the harder it became to stay strong on my decision for the both of us. His condition which seemed to be miserable and deteriorating, was not helping. On the outside he seemed to be well and happy, all fake smiles and perfect laughs, but if you knew him even a bit you would instantly notice the small signs in his face that indicated how truly in pain he was, how much he was suffering on the inside. The dark circles under his eyes, the hunched, drooping shoulders, his tired face seemed to be the physical ramifications of my disastrous act, a constant reminder of pain and sadness to me.

Soon my work on the project ended and I was finally able to put some distance between us for which I was greatly thankful for as it seemed that those last few days it had become almost impossible to keep myself away from him, to keep myself from running to him when i saw his tired face and hunched shoulders every morning, to keep myself from running my fingers through his generally shiny smooth pale hair which was now dirty and unkempt, shaggy and in a desperate need of a wash . It took all in me to keep myself from running to him and wrapping my arms around his unusually thin body when I heard him sob in his trailer on the set. I think something inside me broke to pieces when I had heard his sobs and at the same time my decision to leave and not return anytime soon came into existence at that very instant. I needed to leave as soon as possible because my waning resolve if left unchecked would only result in more pain and heartbreak than ever. Even though I did my best to leave , my work restrains and responsibilities kept me from leaving immediately but after a lot of effort I was finally able to shift my work back to my home place and after 3 months of convincing, my employing company finally agreed and I was finally leaving this place on a flight scheduled for tomorrow.

Packing was almost done and the stuff would be picked up for shipping tomorrow morning. It seemed that the bare walls all around me were trying to push me to change my mind, but I was in too deep now. I hadn't made my peace with it completely yet but to a somewhat extent I had given in to my fate, our fate and accepted life for what it was. For once I had chosen to leave and surrender, not to fight to save both ourselves from the realm of pain that we brought each other. For once I had to be the strong one, for him.
I had ordered some takeout but with the kind of rainstorm that was currently ravaging through the city I doubted that it would at all come through to me. It seemed as though even the sky was resonatingly crying , pouring heavily all over. The shrieking winds seemed to be similar to crying howls, symbolizing the pain and heartache that seemed to overcome me at this moment. I was leaving my home. I was leaving behind all I had worked for, for the last 10 years. But what hurt the most was that I was leaving HIM.
The very thought seemed to chill me to my very bones, shaking me to my core. I couldn't imagine surviving without him and yet I was willingly leaving so that he could live a better life. He deserved so much happiness and if this is what it took to give him that happiness then I was willing to bear all this pain and then some. All for him . I was delved into these dark deep thoughts , lost in my own mind when I heard a knock at the door. For a moment , I did not move, so lost in my thoughts that I almost missed the knock but after a few repetitive knocks on the door I broke out of my reverie and quickly made my way towards the big doors. Thinking that by some miracle the delivery boy had made through I rushed to the doors with my purse in my hand. But when I opened the door what I saw left me stunned to say in the least.

There, in the pouring rain, stood the one person who had been the cause of all my sorrow and happiness these last few months. The person who I was avoiding like the plague.

There HE stood.

There he stood, in the heavy rain, his Gucci overcoat drenched completely , soaked to the very skin, chilling him to his very bones, his shoes muddy and dirty, the leather almost close to being completely warped and ruined due to the muddy water. His favorite grey checkered pants were sopping wet and it looked like he had been standing in the rain for almost an hour now. One look at his face told me that the redness in his eyes and the shaking hands were all suggesting signs of the first stages of pneumonia. I quickly pulled
him in and closed the door to keep the howling winds at bay.

Had it been a normal non-pneumonic situation I would have done my best to avoid him and escape his presence at all costs but at the moment all that was running through my mind was the impending danger he had put himself in and how to keep him from getting sick. All that mattered right now was helping him. Everything else could wait. As I quickly ran in to get out some towels from my packed boxes he stood there on the welcome mat, almost deathly still, a ghostlike look on his face. When I returned to the room ,towels in my hand, that's how I found him, standing still, frozen in his place, water continuously dripping on the mat, which now seemed to be close to forming a small puddle of dirty water on the pale pink marble ground. I quickly rushed in as he stood there ,fawning over him, my eyes shining with deep worry in them, rubbing furiously at his soaking wet pale hair, fully focused on keeping him dry to prevent him from getting sick.

As I stood there , fully concentrated on my task, he suddenly raised a dripping wet hand and held my wrist, successfully stopping me in my tracks. Suddenly, his cold fingers made instant contact with my wrist, which in a stark contrast to his , were more warm than the usual, almost seeming to be burning up in his worry. Just as I was about to ask him to let go and return to my task of keeping him alive he raised his head and looked at me with those dark brown enticing eyes of his. It seemed that just with one look of his russet brown eyes , he had me enraptured yet again, creating a mystical hold over me, one so strong that I couldn't break away from it even if I wanted to.
After what seemed like an eternity but was only a tiny electric second he moved his plump pink lips and uttered the shattering word,

"WHY?"

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