Work Text:
Dean, Sam, Jody, and Mary are sharing Dean's pizza.
Dean: [Immensely pleased] I negotiated our TV contract for season 13.
Sam: Great, I hope it's enough for new writers and raises for all of us.
Dean: Yeah, well, uh, they gave us an amount based on our ratings....and...uh....
Sam: And...uh...what?
Dean: You're eating it.
Sam: Eating what?
Dean: The budget. I spent all the money from the season 13 budget on this frozen, medium-cheese pizza from WalMart and even then I had to
..........chip in a few bucks of my own.
Jody: Dean, you said this was a cheese pizza but I see toppings !
Dean: [Sheepishly] Those are bugs from the radiator of my Impala. I didn't think you'd notice with all the alcohol around here.
Jody: Very funny, Dean. I don't believe you. Why would you do something like that?
Dean: When we were kids, dad would dump us at a motel and go hunting. If the motel had arcade games I would usually squander most
..........of our food money and had to become creative in finding food. Bugs are high in protein. Just look at how tall Sammy got!
Jody: Oh, my God, I've eaten bugs! I've eaten bugs!! Bug heads! Bug antennas! I'VE EATEN BUGS !!!
Sam: [Red-faced] I need a stomach pump!! Not even Lucifer did sh*t like this to me!! I'M TELLING MOM, DEAN.......I'M TELLING MOM....
Jody: [Turning blue and gagging] I'm gonna...go... barf.... in Baby........
Jody: [Holding her stomach and shuffling toward the door] I'll fix you Dean Winchester.....I'll fix you....sob.......sniffle....then file for unemployment....and the food bank.....
Mary: [Enters the room eating some of Dean's pizza] Tell me what, Sam?
END