Chapter Text
“You know what I miss from Earth?”
Keith knows for a fact there’s a lot that Lance misses from Earth. Lance is homesick and misses his family and is suffering from serious culture shock. He misses everything about Earth. But that’s obviously not what Lance is talking about. He has something specific in mind.
Keith sighs. He’s really not into guessing games.
“I don’t know. Music? Potato chips?”
“Well, yeah but – No. I mean lube, Keith. I miss lube.” Lance says, and Keith gives him a long glance using his I’m seriously judging you right now face. From beside him where he’s sprawled across the couch, Lance reaches over with one foot to nudge Keith in the calf. “Come on, you know what I’m talking about, man.”
Keith resolutely turns back to the tablet-like device in his hand.
“I know what you’re talking about,” he says. “I’m wondering why you felt the need to overshare and tell me about it.”
“Because I’m suffering!” Lance flings an arm across his face, dramatic as ever. “Sometimes I just need a long and hard stroke, or a little fingering. You know, spice things up. But all I’ve got is some moisturizer and dude, I need that for my face so I can’t be wasting it jacking off!”
“Sounds awful,” Keith mutters, attempting to focus on learning the Galran language and not his teammate’s masturbatory habits.
“So awful! I just don’t understand it,” Lance sighs heavily. “Most of the aliens we’ve met have been humanoid and had gender. They probably have sex to make babies. How can there be no lube in space!?”
“There is lube in space,” Keith informs him, the “you idiot” implied. Lance gasps and sits upright, leaning in way too close.
“WHAT!? There is? Keith! Have you been holding out on me with the space lube!?”
“I don’t see how it’s my fault you didn’t know that,” Keith frowns, trying to subtly lean away from the overexcited boy.
“But I looked! All over my room and in the bathroom. Where is it? You’ve gotta tell me, dude! Tell meeee!”
At this point, Lance’s nose is practically touching Keith’s cheek and he has the most ridiculous bug-eyed expression on his face. Keith gives up on subtlety and scoots further down the couch to get some breathing room.
“It’s in the med bay. The drawer that’s labeled ‘quizark.’ I mean, that’s not its only purpose but it has the right consistency and is safe to use,” Keith says.
“SweeEET! ...Wait. How do you even know that?”
“Uh… I talked to Coran?”
Lance bursts out laughing. Keith frowns. What’s so funny about talking to Coran?
“Oh. My.” Lance chuckles breathlessly. “GOD. Imagining that conversation right now… this is great. Are you saying you got so desperate for lube you went and asked Coran for some?”
Keith sets down the tablet – resigned to getting nothing done right now – and crosses his arms defensively. “Why is that weird? You were literally just whining about how much you need some to jerk it.”
Lance continues to giggle while clutching at his stomach.
“It’s just- out of everyone, thinking that you - !” Lance gestures with one hand to... all of Keith.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Keith’s glare is deadly.
“I mean, I know everybody does it,” Lance tries to explain. “But like, you - !” He appears to struggle for words, a rare miracle. “What do you even think about when you do it? Fist fights? Are you into some BDSM shit? Or maybe something-” He giggles. “S-something with knives.”
His attitude is seriously pissing Keith off. What’s so funny about Keith masturbating? Does Lance think he can’t enjoy touching himself? Can’t enjoy thinking about sex? His laughter is like a direct challenge to Keith as a sexual being and makes him feel likes he’s got something to prove.
“Why so interested in my sexual fantasies, Lance?” Keith says, low and smooth. He uncrosses his arms to place one hand on the couch and lean in to invade Lance’s personal space a bit.
The other boy’s smile freezes on his face. Dense as he can be, even Lance recognizes the abrupt change in mood. He stutters, “U-um.”
“Do you want to hear about them?” Keith slides in closer. Slowly. Carefully.
“Um- I don’t- You really don’t - ” Lance’s words come out a few octaves higher than normal.
“I can tell you what I think about,” Keith says, raising an arm to place it behind Lance on top of the couch, pressing their thighs together. “When I touch myself.”
Lance is utterly mute, and it is glorious.
“I think about...” Keith says, brings his face in close, raises one hand. “A man.” He trails one finger along the sharp edge of Lance’s jaw. Lance swallows. “Because I’m gay. Did you know?”
“Um.”
“What he looks like varies. But he’s always - “ Keith shifts to swing a leg over and straddle Lance’s lap. “Underneath me. I like to be in control.” He grips the other boy’s hair to give it a gentle tug. Lance lifts his chin and Keith swoops in to bring his lips close to one ear.
“Do you want to know more?” Keith whispers against his skin, and Lance shudders.
“Yes,” Lance rasps quietly, eyes wide. Keith smirks and it’s a mean, sadistic thing.
He promptly climbs off of Lance’s lap and falls back on the couch, spreading his limbs with a satisfied grin.
“I don’t know...” he says. “You might laugh at me.”
Keith basks in the outraged expression on Lance’s face.
“What - “ Lance clears his throat when his voice cracks. “What the quiznacking fuck was that!?”
“You wanted to know what I think about when I masturbate,” Keith says with poorly hidden amusement.
“No- just… no. That was not you telling me anything,” Lance shrieks, jumping to his feet and pacing in front of the couch. “That was you trying to- trying to fucking s-seduce me!” He stops pacing and points an accusing finger in Keith’s face.
“Oh? Did it work?” Keith asks, mock-curious.
“YES!” Lance shouts, and then freezes as if shocked by his own admission. Keith is equally shocked. “I mean- n-NO. Duh.” Lance crosses his arms and looks away, and now he’s obviously lying.
For several quiet moments they come to terms with what just happened. Did Keith really just sit in Lance’s lap and caress his face? Pull his hair and whisper suggestively in his ear? Oh god. He did. Why did he do that!? But more importantly…
“You want to have sex with me?” Keith asks, even more surprised by Lance’s reaction than he is by is own behavior.
Lance sputters and shakes his head vigorously. “NO!” He looks around the room as if someone else might have just magically appeared to listen in on their embarrassing conversation. Which doesn’t seem entirely impossible, these days. And the mice are always around somewhere acting as Allura’s spies, so really it’s something to worry about. “Um...” Lance turns back to Keith with narrow eyes. “...Was that an offer?”
Now it’s Keith’s turn to sputter. “Uh.” Shit. Does he want to have sex with Lance? Well... why not? “Yeah. Sure.”
They stare at each other for a minute, eyes wide.
“Yeah. Sure,” Lance echoes, hoarse.
They continue to stare at each other.
“...Now?” Keith asks. Lance frowns and crosses his arms.
“Well I’m kind of horny now and it’s your fault!” he accuses.
Keith rolls his eyes and stands, abandoning the tablet on the couch and walking to the door. He says to Lance, “Come on then.”
“Where are we going?”
“My room,” Keith explains. Duh. “Maybe you have an exhibitionist kink, but I don’t want to have sex in a common area where anyone can walk in on us.”
“Uh, right. Yeah, good idea.” Lance sounds uncomfortable and Keith does him the courtesy of not responding with an insult. They walk across the castle in silence, Keith slightly in the lead even if they both know where they’re going.
By the time they reach Keith’s door, Lance looks ready to jump out of his skin.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Keith asks, except Lance seems to take that as some kind of challenge because he straightens with an arrogant smirk.
“Hah, yeah,” he says. “Are you?”
Instead of answering, Keith opens his door and gestures for Lance to enter. Keith follows behind and then they’re standing in another awkward silence. This time in a much smaller and more private room.
“So… you have some of that space lube, right?” Lance asks, looking around as if searching for it. As if Keith would leave it just lying around.
“Yeah. There’s a panel in the wall by the bed,” he says, and Lance nods.
“Yup. Right, I know the one.”
Silence. Keith huffs and takes off his jacket to hang it on the wall.
“Maybe we should start by taking off our clothes,” he suggests, and Lance legitimately squeaks.
“Um! Isn’t that moving a little fast?” Lance protests. “Like, maybe we could work up to the nudity thing?”
“Sure, I don’t care,” Keith says. “But we need to do something because things aren’t gonna move at all if we just stand here.”
“Right. Sure. Yeah, moving along,” Lance says, taking a few slow steps toward him. Keith raises his eyebrows, unimpressed. “Just gonna… move now.”
Keith closes the gap until they’re standing chest to chest. He reaches up to place his hands on Lance’s neck, pulling him forward and down slightly until their lips are only inches apart.
“Kissing sound good?” he asks. Lance flails his arms a bit until his hands settle tentatively on Keith’s hips.
“Kissing sounds great,” Lance breathes, and Keith brings their mouths together.
It isn’t the worst first kiss ever, but both are a little hesitant, a little self-conscious. They barely move at first, just pressing dry lips to dry lips… Until their mouths open just a little bit and Lance reaches out with the tip of his tongue to touch Keith’s upper lip, and now Keith is feeling very warm and needs more and loses all inhibitions.
Keith grips Lance’s hair and tilts their heads at a greater angle, slipping his tongue along the seam of Lance’s lips until they’re wet with saliva, enjoying the slick friction of their flesh for a while and then sucking his bottom lip into his mouth. Keith bites down gently and pulls away with a playful tug. He looks at Lance’s flushed face and smirks.
“Do you like that?” he asks, and it’s mostly rhetorical. It’s clear from his dazed expression that Lance does indeed like that. But the other boy lives to be an irritating ass and so he leans back with a grimace.
“Eh, wasn’t awful,” Lance says. “I’ve had better.” Whatever, Lance.
Keith lowers his hands to push on Lance’s chest until he stumbles backward, feels the back of his legs collide with the bed, and collapses with a thud to sit on its mattress. Keith sits on his lap, enjoying the look of surprise on Lance’s face as Keith lifts his chin.
“Then I guess we’d better try again,” Keith says, and leans in for another kiss. And another. And more after that, while Lance’s hands creep under his shirt to caress the skin of his lower back.
Keith pulls away to tug off his belt and shirt and toss them to the floor. Lance stares at his bare chest with shock.
“So… we’re, um. Doing the naked thing, then? Taking off our clothes. Gonna be skin to skin.”
“Yup,” Keith says, standing to toe off his boots. “Or at least I am. Do you plan on having sex with your clothes on?”
“No!” Lance objects immediately, frowning. He tugs off his jacket and then his shirt, fumbling with his shoes while Keith shimmies out of his pants. Keith decides to keep his briefs on for now, since Lance is so nervous, although the start of an erection is already straining against the fabric.
Lance looks up from taking off his shoes and freezes, looking up and down Keith’s body with an open mouth. Keith kneels down to meet his eyes, hands on Lance’s knees.
“You know we can stop anytime,” Keith says. “Continue later. Or never.”
Lance glares at him. “I’m not backing out!” he says. “And just because I’m… thinking too much doesn’t mean you need to act all condescending.”
Keith frowns. He was just trying to be considerate.
“Fine,” he says, reaching for the button of Lance’s jeans. “As long you understand you can say no.”
Lance rolls his eyes and smacks Keith’s hands away, leaning back and lifting up his hips to pull down his jeans himself.
“Yeah, thanks,” Lance says. “I’ve had the consent talk too, dipshit.”
Keith helps him pull the legs off and throws the pants over his shoulder, then takes advantage of Lance’s position to pin him to the bed.
“Then you should know why I said it, asshole,” Keith grumbles. Lance huffs.
“I, Lance, do solemnly vow,” Lance begins, and Keith rolls his hips. They both gasp. “Th-that I am sound of both body and mind-” Keith leans over to mouth at his shoulder. Lance arches up to press closer. “When- when I say that-” Keith sucks and Lance keens. “I really really want to have sex with you right now, Keith!” he gasps.
Keith detaches his mouth with a smirk. “Glad to hear it. Because I’m kind of into this.”
“Just kind of?” Lance squawks. “Oh come on, you are so into this.”
“Hmm.” Keith rolls his hips again, hissing at the sensation of their hardening dicks rubbing together, even through the layers of fabric. “Which part, do you think?”
“Which-! Um, how about all of my parts!? You know I’m hot, dude!”
Keith snickers and leans in for a kiss. He will admit to nothing.
When he finally pulls back, Keith asks, “How do you want to do this?”
Lance responds with an eloquent, “Huh?”
“How do you want to do,” Keith repeats, reaching down to rub against the front of Lance’s boxers, “this? Sex.”
“Um...” Lance’s eyes roll back as he rubs and the boy can’t seem to say anything coherent so Keith stops doing it. Lance whines.
“Hand job? Blow job? Anal?” Keith clarifies, still rocking slowly. “Maybe just rub against each other until we come in our underwear?”
“Um...” Lance repeats. Keith stops moving completely and Lance groans. “Shit, I dunno, dude! Surprise me!”
Keith hums, taking pity on the boy and continuing to roll his hips while he thinks. Surprise him? Keith can do that.
Without another word, Keith crawls off the bed and kneels on the floor, pulling on Lance’s legs so he slides forward and Keith is face to crotch with him. The other boy squeaks when Keith pulls down his boxers and reaches for his dick.
Keith takes a moment to admire it, giving the flushed organ a good, slow stroke while Lance props himself up on his elbows to watch.
“You just gonna stare at it?” Lance leers. Keith gives him a glare before promptly opening his mouth and leaning forward to swallow Lance’s dick.
“Fuck!” Lance shouts, bucking his hips until Keith chokes and pulls back with a cough.
“Don’t do that, you ass!”
“Sorry! I’m sorry.” Lance seems genuinely apologetic, so Keith let’s it go. Mostly.
“Just don’t do it again,” he mutters, putting his hands on Lance’s hips to hold him down and approaching his penis with a little more caution this time. He licks from base to tip then opens his mouth to suck on the head with a swirl of his tongue.
“Shit! Oh fuck,” Lance groans, falling back on the mattress, legs and abs tightening in his effort to hold still. As Keith continues he enjoys watching the other boy fall apart, hands gripping and twisting the blanket, breath hitching, face twisting. Seeing Lance like this makes his own dick twitch with need.
Keith gives it a good effort and Lance seems inexperienced, so it’s only a couple minutes later that Lance is stuttering, “K-Keith, oh god, I- I’m gonna - “ Knowing very well what that means, Keith opens wide and goes deep, then back up with a strong suck.
Lance comes with a shout, spine curling up while Keith gently sucks him through his orgasm, swallowing with every spurt of semen. Lance places his hands on Keith’s shoulders when he’s done, shaking as Keith licks him clean.
“Holy shit,” Lance whispers. “Holy shit.”
Keith lets go with a smug grin, basking in the satisfaction of a job well done. But his own dick is still hard and needy, so Keith stands to pull off his briefs and then reaches for Lance’s boxers.
“Um,” Lance rasps as he eyes Keith’s penis. “Did you want me to - ?”
“Don’t worry about it,” Keith says, tossing Lance’s underwear aside. “Lie down, would you? I have something different in mind.”
“O-okay,” Lance stutters, adjusting to lie down properly in the bed while Keith moves to the panel in the wall to fetch the lube. After pouring some out and liberally coating his dick, he crawls on the bed and positions himself between Lance’s legs, who is now eyeing Keith like he’s some sort of nightmare come to life.
What the fuck? Keith pauses to try and figure out what is going through that weird little mind. What does he think he’s going to - ? ...Oh.
“I’m not gonna stick it in your ass,” Keith says, and tries not to laugh at Lance’s visible relief.
“I knew that!” he protests, and now Keith can’t help but snicker.
“Sure,” he says. “I mean, if you really want me to - “
“No!” Lance squeaks. “No! I’m good, very good. Continue with whatever the fuck you plan on doing, Mullet.”
“Are you really going to insult my hair right now?” Keith grumbles, pulling Lance’s legs up and over one shoulder.
“There’s never a bad time to insult that hair. That hair exists to be made fun of,” Lance insists, while Keith presses forward to guide his dick between Lance’s thighs and thrusts. “Oh!”
“You okay there?” Keith asks, breaths coming faster as he takes pleasure in the sensation.
“Yeah...” Lance watches avidly as Keith fucks his thighs, taking the initiative to cross his legs and squeeze. Keith groans. “Does that feel good?”
“What do you think?” Keith says, closing his eyes and throwing his head back. Fuck yes, it feels good.
“Just asking, jeez.”
Keith gets into it, thrusting faster and harder until Lance’s whole body jerks with each thrust.
“Anything I can do to help?” Lance breathes out, “Or should I just lie back and think of England?”
“Just… shut up!” Keith groans. Fuck, he’s close.
“Got it. Shutting up. But wow you look really into it right now, and I kinda like it? Like, I wanna kiss you right now. Is that weird?”
That is so not shutting up, Lance, but it doesn’t even matter because Keith comes with a drawn out moan, semen splattering across Lance’s thighs and stomach. As Keith slumps forward, leaning into Lance’s legs with a sigh, Lance trails a finger through the spunk, grimacing.
“Eww.”
“Shut up, asshole,” Keith says. “I just swallowed yours so you can stand to have it on your skin for a minute.”
“Nope. No I can’t. Even a minute is a minute too long,” Lance says, grabbing Keith’s blanket and wiping himself off with it. That fucker.
“Hey!” Keith says, but it’s too late. He shifts away and shoves Lance’s legs off him with a scowl. “That’s my only blanket.”
“Um… no? There’s more in the linen closet.”
“...There’s a linen closet?”
Lance laughs, and Keith crosses his arms.
“Oh my god!” Lance cries. “You knew where to find the lube, but not the blankets! This is amazing!”
“Shut up,” Keith says. “So what? It’s a big castle. Before you wiped your jizz on it I was perfectly fine with the one blanket I had.” Lance keeps laughing and Keith leans back against the wall. “It’s really not that funny.”
“It really is!” Lance says when he is able talk again.
“If you say so.” Resigned to fetching another blanket later and doing some laundry, Keith wipes himself off too. “Did you want to take a nap or something?”
Lance eyes him with a shit-eating smirk.
“...Are you saying you want to cuddle with me, Mullet?”
That’s it. He was just trying to be polite, but Keith is so done with this fucker.
“Nevermind,” he says, grabbing Lance by the arm and pulling him off the bed. “You’re leaving right now. Invitation revoked. Get out.”
“H-hey!” Lance squawks, stumbling to pick up his clothes as Keith pushes him toward the door. “At least let me get dressed first!”
“Your room is right next door.” Lance looks completely horrified, so Keith allows, “Fine. You can put on your pants.”
Keith’s glare says not to fuck with him, so Lance hastily pulls on his jeans and heads to the door with the rest of his clothes in his arms.
“Sheesh,” Lance mutters. “You’re pretty grumpy for a guy who just had sex. Do I not even get a kiss goodbye, snookums?”
“Goodbye, Lance,” Keith says, and shoves him out of his room.
In the fresh silence, still bare-ass naked, Keith seriously questions his life choices.