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TJ was sitting on his bed working on homework when Amber suddenly burst into his room and collapsed onto the bed next to him. He barely even looked up; this wasn’t the first time she had done this, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. He took out his headphones but continued to work until she said something.
After a couple minutes, she rolled over onto her back. “Jonah lied to me.” TJ wasn’t that surprised to be honest, but before he could say anything, she continued. “Worse, Cyrus lied to me.” And that did surprise TJ. “I thought he was my friend, but I guess he cares more about Jonah than me.”
“To be fair, he has known Jonah longer.”
She glared up at him. The effect was somewhat lost due to the position she was lying in, but he got the message. “Are you actually defending him right now? Who’s side are you on? I know you’re like in love with him or whatever, but I’m your sister.”
“Ok, I’m choosing to ignore that comment right now because I know you’re upset. Start from the beginning. What happened?”
She sighed. “Ok, you know how I told you I thought Jonah was avoiding me, and you said I was just being paranoid?” He nodded. That had only been a few days ago. “Well, I was right.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.” Then, she got into the story. Apparently, Jonah had told her that Cyrus was teaching him how to play chess, which was just about the worst lie he could have come up with. TJ almost felt bad for the guy. Almost. Of course, as if it wasn’t bad enough that he had lied to Amber, he had to drag Cyrus into it too. Amber had tried to believe it at first, but then she ran into them at the movie theatre, and she knew something was up. So she had planned a “counselling session” to confront Cyrus. When she saw that Cyrus’s dad had a chess set in his office, she seized the opportunity to be extra dramatic because of course she did. “And Cyrus didn’t even know that white always goes first.” Damn, that’s like rule number one. TJ couldn’t help but laugh slightly at that. This was the boy he liked? Really? “You should have seen his face when I told him that I used to play chess competitively.” Obviously, she beat him, and then he admitted that he didn’t actually know how to play chess. She called him out for lying and left. And now here she was.
“Did he apologize at least?”
“I mean kind of? But I was too hurt to really hear it. I just needed to get out of there.”
TJ nodded. “I guess that’s fair. But you know he didn’t mean to hurt you, right?”
“Yeah, and I know I’ll probably forgive him. But it just hurts knowing where you stand on someone’s list of friends, you know? Like I guess I always knew I wasn’t as important to him as Buffy, Andi, and Jonah, but to actually see it so blatantly… Like, the only thing that would be worse would be if he had actually written out a list ranking his friends.” A part of TJ wondered where he stood on that list, probably not very high right now. He pushed that thought away.
“I’m sure Cyrus doesn’t think you’re less important. It’s hard being put between your friends. Jonah shouldn’t have put him in that position.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Amber sighed. “God, I wish I could say that I can’t believe Jonah did that, but the worst part is that I’m not even surprised. It’s just. I’ve put so much effort into becoming a better person since the first time we broke up. And I’ve put so much effort into this relationship and trying to make sure I didn’t make the same mistakes I made last time. And he just. Hasn’t put in any effort at all. Like he just doesn’t care. If he didn’t want to be in a relationship, why date me in the first place?”
“I don’t know. I’m sorry. Although to be honest, I’m not really sure what you expected. I don’t think that’s the kind of person Jonah is. And that’s what you get for dating a middle schooler. Middle schoolers are the worst.”
“You’re a middle schooler,” Amber pointed out.
“Which is how I know that we’re the worst. Why don’t you have any friends your own age?”
“Everyone at Grant hates me. I don’t know if you remember, but I used to be kind of a bitch.”
“Used to be?” She elbowed him in the leg. “Wait. Didn’t you just say that you went to the movies the other day? Who’d you go with?”
She shrugged. “These girls from my dance class. They’re cool I guess, but I don’t know if I’d call us friends exactly.”
“But you could be.”
“Maybe.”
When she didn’t say anything else, he asked, “What about Iris?”
“What about her? She probably hates me. We haven’t spoken since.” She cut herself off.
“You never actually told me what happened between you two.”
“Because it’s none of your business.”
TJ shrugged. He hadn’t really expected an answer anyway. “Well, I doubt she could ever hate you. And I kind of miss her. Maybe you should reach out to her? I mean, you have changed a lot since then.”
“Maybe.” Amber didn’t say anything after that for a while. She looked like she was thinking about something.
Just as TJ was considering going back to his homework, she spoke up again. “Jonah and I are gonna have to break up, aren’t we?” She sounded sad.
“Yeah probably.”
She sighed. “I think I’m gonna talk to him after school tomorrow. That should be fun.”
“Do you want me to beat him up for you?” He joked. He knew she knew what he really meant: do you want me to be there with you?
She rolled her eyes. “I’ll be fine. But we should walk home from school together.” That was as close to her saying that she wanted him to be there for her as she was going to get.
He shrugged. “Beats hanging out with Kira, I guess.”
“Thanks.” She sounded sarcastic, but he knew it was sincere.
The next day after school, TJ found Amber sitting on one of the tables outside the school. He walked up to her. “How’d it go?” She looked up and he saw that her eyes were red. They didn’t exactly hug very often, but he figured he could make an exception given the situation. He wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back while she cried into his chest. He didn’t even care that they were right in front of the middle school where anyone could walk by. He may have been joking about beating up Jonah the night before, but honestly, if she wanted him to, he would. But right now, she needed him to just be here for her.
After a few minutes, her tears slowed and then stopped. She looked up at him. “We should probably go. It’s cold.”
He nodded and took a step back to let her stand up. He put his arm around her, and the two started walking. He noticed a few people staring at them. He gave them his best ‘scary basketball guy’ look, daring them to say something. They didn’t.
Neither of them spoke the whole walk home. On their way, they stopped at the store and bought two pints of ice cream.
When they got home, TJ went in the kitchen and grabbed two spoons, and then they went into his bedroom. They sat on his bed, eating their ice cream in silence for a few minutes until Amber finally spoke. “When I went to talk to Jonah, he was talking to Cyrus. I overheard him say that he needed to come up with an excuse to not hang out with me. How fucked up is that?”
“Pretty fucked up. Jesus christ.”
“Yeah, so I was like, ‘if you don’t wanna hang out with me, why don’t you just break up with me?’ And then Cyrus left. He did apologize, by the way. I told him I’m not mad at him anymore.” TJ nodded. “Anyway, then it was just me and Jonah, and he started saying all the breakup cliches, which was so annoying. Like, you’d think he’d be a bit better at breakups by now after how many he’s had. I don’t even remember what all I said to him; I was just so mad and hurt. And then I just walked away. And then you found me.” She sighed. “I knew this was gonna happen. So why does it hurt so much?” Her voice was quiet.
He put his arm around her. “I think breakups always hurt, even if they’re for the best. And I know how much you cared about him.”
“I loved him. Or at least I thought I did. I don’t know.”
“I’m sorry. One day, you’ll find someone who cares about you as much as you care about them. But in the meantime, you don’t need a guy to be happy.”
She smiled at him. “Thanks TJ. I guess you can be a good brother sometimes.”
He lightly hit her with his knee and smirked at her. “Yeah well, one of us has to be the good sibling.”
She rolled her eyes. “Shut up. You know you love me. Now, can we watch a movie or something? I don’t really want to think about this whole Jonah thing anymore.”
He got up to grab his laptop. “Sure. Do you want to wallow in your sadness or be distracted from it?”
She thought for a second while he sat back down and turned his computer on. “I think I’m still in the wallowing stage.”
He nodded. They found some sad romance movie to watch. They finished their ice cream about halfway through the movie. By the end, they were both crying, not that anyone needs to know that.