Chapter Text
Welcome to Godric’s Hollow, Devon
Population: 1,023
Sirius Black sighed and stubbed his cigarette out against the sign on the outskirts of the town. It looked well cared for and he almost wished he hadn’t for a moment, but then, a little cigarette ash never hurt no one. Besides, the sight of such a gaudy little sign made him antsy for the excitement of London, or at least Hogsmeade, but unfortunately, here they were, in Godric’s Hollow, Devon, Population 1,023, and every one of them squares. At least this place didn’t have a lousy motto like Always Faithful or For God and Queen, or worse, some Mickey-Mouse slogan like Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon. Really, what kind of whack-job made that a motto for a town?
Sirius glanced over to James, who was leaning against Sirius’ motorbike rolling another cigarette. “This is the place, right?” Off James’ shrug, Sirius cupped a hand around his mouth and called back to Gideon Prewett, who was coming up the road into town on his own bike. “This is the place, Gid? The mechanic’ll help, eh?”
Gideon nodded, slowed down without getting off his bike and pulled the bandana from the lower half of his face. “Yeah, this is the place.” He glanced over to his twin brother Fabian for confirmation, and when he received it with a short nod, carried on further into the town. Caradoc followed, James’ bike thrown on a makeshift trailer behind him. James watched his pride and joy pass with a downward twist of his mouth, and Sirius itched with the urge to get to the mechanic as soon as possible, his blood brother needed his sodding bike back in tip-top condition yesterday. The joint rider-in-chief of the Marauders with no bike was like a racehorse with three legs. Then, once that was fixed, they needed to go and get their own back on the pieces of work that made James total his bike in the first place. First things first, though.
Sirius slung a leg over his bike and James settled behind him as the rest of the Marauders rode past. They had pulled aside after going ahead to blow off a bit of steam and really give the engine a good run-around, but now the others had caught up, it was back to business. “Better not take too long to get your bike fixed,” Sirius muttered, kicking the engine to life and starting down the road.
Sirius felt James nod behind him. “Yeah, better be something fun to do whilst we wait.”
The further they rode into the town, the less likely that seemed. Sirius should’ve known by the population numbered on the sign, but it still surprised him. There was a church, a small hall and a coffee bar - the adjacent car park had one car parked there - and it all looked disgustingly drab and grey and one step away from ceasing to exist entirely. Seemed like they’d have to make their own fun whilst they were waiting for James’ repairs.
The rest of the gang had pulled into the car park, sprawling bikes and shining metal under the afternoon sun, with Bones and Caradoc sent ahead to speak to Pettigrew, the mechanic who was a friend of a friend of a friend.
Sirius took a moment to look around at his family, his blood brothers and sisters, with his heart roaring of possessive pride. Gid and Fab, the twins with the flaming red hair, ripped leather jackets and scratcher tattoos, strolled to the edge of the car park to look up and down the street, already displeased with the quiet. Marlene and Dorcas, the former already tipping her head back to the sun, bandana tied around her golden hair, the latter wearing her chocolate skin like a badge of resistance, like the embodiment of everything counter-culture in a land of pasty-white squares. Caradoc Dearborn, tall and proud and stern, with wit quicker than his bike and the knowledge to back it up, and Edgar Bones, with more criminal connections than the London Underground, were both sent ahead to bargain for James’ baby to be fixed up.
Sirius killed the engine and climbed off his bike, shucking his leather jacket off in the heat and swinging it over his shoulder by the collar. James stepped off next to him, adjusting his thick-rimmed glasses before sliding a hand through his hair to set it back in place. Sirius glanced down the road, looking to the twins, who nodded back. “Eaters didn’t follow us?”
Fabian paused to straighten a twist in the leg of his jeans. “Nah, bettin’ the Fuzz caught up with them.”
“Yeah.” Sirius nodded towards the coffee bar. “Shall we?” He lit a cigarette and scuffed a piece of dried mud from his boots against the car park wall, before starting up the steps to the coffee bar. He saw, with a grin forming, that the place seemed fairly busy, and every single one of the patrons was staring at the new arrivals, all slicked hair, leather jackets and heavy boots. The roar of the motorcycles were impossible to miss in a town this sleepy. Sirius’ grin widened as he pushed the door open.
The place - Evans’s, according to the sign outside - was quiet, except for the jukebox in the corner, and every person within had their nosy gaze trained on the newcomers who simply strolled to a booth and sat down. It was a typical coffee bar, a counter along one edge with two pretty looking girls behind - if you liked that kind of thing - and a row of stools for anyone who wanted to sit at the bar. The rest of the space was taken up with booths, bright red cushions and gold trim, mostly full of teenagers a few years younger than Sirius, a few adults here and there, but this was obviously the best - and only - place to hang out in Godric’s Hollow.
Sirius stretched his arms over his head before snatching up a menu to peer at, thoroughly enjoying the way the conversation came back slowly - hushed whispers, angry mutterings from the old folks, a flutter of giggles from a group of girls at the bar. James lit a cigarette and looked around, entirely intrigued by this little town.
Lily Evans looked on the group of greasers sat in the booth with ill-concealed disgust. “Go and serve them, Lily,” she muttered to herself, mimicking her fathers’ hushed tones in the kitchen. “We don’t want any trouble, Lily. Just keep them happy, Lily.”
She threw her cloth into the sink and grabbed the notepad from her apron pocket, sliding the pencil from behind her ear in the same motion. Rolling her eyes to her friends sat at the end of the bar, Lily forced on her fake-smile and bounced up to the table, ponytail swinging. “What can I get you folks?”
Green eyes swept over the group, four guys, all in leathers with slicked hair and sharp smiles, and two girls in jeans and leather jackets, one of them dark-skinned and smiling dangerously as if daring Lily to say anything about it. Lily swiftly looked away, to the blonde with her arm tightly around the other girls waist, then looked away again to two identical men with ginger hair and tattoos, the thinner one rolling a cigarette. She looked away again and her eyes met with a tall, dark-haired boy staring at her from behind thick-rimmed glasses. He looked completely stunned until the boy next to him elbowed him viciously in the ribs.
The longer-haired boy, all sharp angles and knife-like cheekbones, gave Lily a disarming smile that she felt entirely immune to. “Hello dolly,” he drawled, sucking on a cigarette. “I’ll take a milkshake, strawberry, and my brother James here’ll take whatever you wanna give him by the looks of it.” He smiled lasciviously and shot Lily a wink.
His friend, James apparently, grinned stupidly and ran a hand over his slicked hair. “Yeah, that’ll be right, whatever you want, baby.”
Lily swallowed back a snort of offended laughter and tried not to let her lips curl back. She turned to the others, one eyebrow raised a little, and took their orders too. She barely paid attention though, inwardly fuming at the stupid grin of the taller boy, his gaze burning through her. Things like this never happened in Godric’s Hollow. Everyone was kind and respectful because she was an Evans and they were a pillar of the community and of course this bloody greaser gang had to come through and ruin things, just like all greasers did. They had to deal with the Eaters when they rolled through, and now these upstarts. Feeling the flush rising in her cheeks, Lily stepped back from the table with their orders and set about making drinks. If she were a lesser girl, Lily might’ve considered spitting in them, but that was just lowering herself to their level.
“You alright Lily?” Remus asked, leaning over from his seat at the bar, pushing his milkshake aside to lower his voice, Peter leaning in next to him. Lily could feel the blush in her cheeks and willed it away as if her circulatory system would bow to her demands alone.
“Fine,” Lily replied, mixing the milkshakes and pouring lemonade. “Those greasers, that’s all.”
“Want me to get your father?” Peter asked, swirling the straw around the bottom of his glass to get the last of his own lemonade. Remus had actually looked up from his book, warm brown eyes flickering between the booth and Lily behind the counter.
Lily shrugged, setting a few of the drinks onto a tray. “He knows they’re here. Told me to serve them so we don’t get any trouble.”
Remus peered at the list of drinks on the notepad, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. “Want me to come and help out?”
Lily shook her head. “No, it’s alright. Hopefully they’re just here for one drink and a bit to eat, then they’ll ride off into the bloody sunset again.” Petunia came out of the kitchen a moment later with a tray of food on her hip for another table. Lily caught her on the way back to the kitchen and slipped the greasers food order into her pocket. “Tunie, take this through to Dad for me? For those greasers.”
Petunia glanced at the table, all of its occupants now smoking cigarettes and laughing raucously at some joke, probably at someone else’s expense. “Ugh, what are they doing here?”
“Lord knows.” Lily shifted the tray of drinks up onto her arm. “Just hope they clear off soon.”
Petunia gave the gang in the booth one last withering look before ducking back into the kitchens to retrieve the next order. Lily sighed and made her way through the tables to their booth. Ignoring James’ ridiculous leering, she set the drinks down in front of each of them, straightening up with a small smile when she left the space in front of the bespectacled boy empty.
James quirked an eyebrow above his glasses, his stupid grin still in place, as if he were expecting something other than a drink and it made Lily seethe.
“Sorry.” Lily smiled, a little less fake that time. “Thought you said you’d take whatever I’ve got for you. Turns out that’s nothing at all, baby.”
The table was silent for a moment before it erupted into laughter, the longer-haired boy slapping his palm on the table a few times, one of the red-headed twins throwing his head back into a howl. The whole table were laughing, except James, who looked a little embarrassed and affronted all at once. Lily hid a smile and turned back, skirt twirling around her ankles.
She flounced back to the bar to find Peter and Remus smiling behind their glasses. Remus gave her a soft smile before his gaze slid past to the table, laughter still echoing.
Remus Lupin’s specialist skill was blending in to the background. He made it his mission not to be seen unless it was explicitly necessary - which happened to be not very often at all. Perhaps it came from living in a small town where everyone knew everyone else’s business, or perhaps it came from being the local Police Chief’s son, or perhaps it came from having a chronic illness that had some fairly obvious physical symptoms every now and again.
So Remus wasn’t surprised when the greaser gang stepped into Evans’s, all bright eyes looking and judging, and swept over him entirely. Godric’s Hollow was boring as anything, a quiet town, with one crossroad, and Evans’s was the only place that was anything to hang out. Most young people saw sense and moved to Hogsmeade - a big town a few miles away - as soon as they could. But Remus was still here, as were Peter and Lily, his two best friends, as well as a few friends from school. Peter’s dad was the town mechanic. He tended to draw people from a few towns over - sometimes nearly all the way to Hogsmeade - so he was pretty well known for his affinity with the machines. Lily and her sister were an important part of town too, seeing as they were Evanses - and Lily had been May Queen the last year of school.
But Remus preferred to slink into the background. True, his father was the Police Chief, but that just meant Remus wanted to slide by without incident all the more. He’d earned enough attention in school for being a Lupin to last him a lifetime.
Sad to say, greasers were a regular fixture in the Hollow - a group of them came through occasionally, nasty pieces of work that called themselves the Death Eaters, causing havoc, damaging property and starting fights. It always took the town a few weeks to recover from them whenever they came rolling through - things needed repairing, repainting, removing and people needed to catch their breath. Remus hoped these newcomers would keep to themselves and, as Lily said, get some food and move on.
So why was he staring?
Why was he staring at one of them in particular, with black hair, quicksilver eyes and a quicksilver smile, smoking a cigarette with one hand and twirling the straw around his milkshake with the other? Remus sighed and stirred his own milkshake, trying not to stare past Peter’s already well-thumbed copy of this week’s Beano. His copy of Mansfield Park on the bar seemed far less interesting now, and despite his dislike of greasers, the ones currently sprawled in that booth seemed to hold his attention. Especially that one… the boy all fine lines and sharp angles, somehow elegant fingers on the rim of his glass despite being tipped in black paint, scraped across the knuckles and smudged in motor oil. The leather jacket on the seat next to him, the sunglasses pushed up onto his head, tight black t-shirt, cuffed jeans, black creepers - everything about him was so alien and intriguing. He looked older than Remus by a few years, something about the way he held himself perhaps, the idle way he sat back with one ankle crossed over the other knee. He looked dangerous and exciting.
Remus wondered at the back of his mind if they would be in the Hollow for long enough for Remus to find out his name. It would be something cool, probably. Would he have a nickname? That was a greaser thing to do, wasn’t it? Would it be something only his friends called him, could Remus call him that? Or maybe a pet name. Maybe the boy would call him a pet name… he imagined for a moment the boy stepping up to him, drawling Hello, dolly just like he did to Lily.
“Remus?”
Remus jerked back to reality and found both Lily and Peter staring at him curiously. He forced a smile and fingered the edge of the plaster across his nose as a reflex. Hopefully it could come off soon. He’d scratched a little too viciously at the sore, flaky skin across his cheeks, and that particular spot hadn’t stopped bleeding. It said something to the regularity of those incidents that no one had commented on it. “Sorry, daydreaming.”
Peter grinned and fished an ice cube out of his lemonade glass to crunch on. Lily glanced around the coffee bar to make sure no one needed anything before leaning in on one elbow, her ponytail swinging to the side. “Oh yeah? Anything interesting?”
Remus knew he was more like Lily than Peter when it came to looking through magazines or going through to Hogsmeade for the drive-in. He liked Elvis in the way Lily did, but he also liked Marilyn Monroe in the way Peter did, and Marlon Brando too. Not that he’d said anything about the fact he paid more attention to Marlon Brando than Jean Simmons in Guys and Dolls, because he also preferred Marilyn over Cary Grant in Monkey Business. It made his head hurt when he thought about it for too long, so it was easier just not to think about it at all.
Besides, he’d kissed Alice Fortescue at the winter dance in high school, before she’d started going steady with Frank Longbottom, and at the May Day party he’d danced with Mary MacDonald for a little while, so he was utterly normal, wasn’t he? Besides the fact that Marlon Brando did look incredibly attractive in Guys and Dolls, and he did kiss Arthur Weasley before he moved to Hogsmeade, and the greaser sat in that booth with a quicksilver smile made his heart beat faster and faster and faster.
“No, no, just, a little tired is all.”
Peter set the Beano down and peered at him, blue eyes bright. “You need to head home? You’ll get sick again, else, won’t you?”
Remus shook his head. He had actually been feeling quite well recently, and although he was tired and his knees were aching far beyond his 17 years, it didn’t seem all-encompassing. “Nah, I’ll be swell. I’ll just take it easy.”
Peter smiled and nodded, he seemed pretty easily placated. Although Remus got sick, it wasn’t too often, and he seemed to be able to tell when it was setting in. Sometimes, however, he ignored those signs, and it was up to his friends to enforce him to stop and sit down for a moment. Thankfully they hadn’t needed to do that for a while. On the whole, Remus’ friends and family were quite good with the mystery illness the family doctor couldn’t quite diagnose. All they knew was that he got very tired sometimes as if he had the flu (the doctor had called them flare-ups, apparently) but anything beyond that was just guesswork. Remus had gotten used to it.
A commotion on the other side of the coffee bar drew Remus’ attention back up from his book. The boy with the black hair was coming this way, along with the other boy too, the taller one with the thick-rimmed glasses. Remus’ heart leapt in his throat for a moment before he realised they were obviously coming to speak to Lily to settle their bill. Remus tried to lose himself back in Mansfield Park, but the quicksilver eyes and the quicksilver smile drew him in.
“Just the bill?” Lily intoned, resolutely ignoring the taller boy with the hair who seemed to be staring at her.
The quicksilver boy leant one elbow on the counter and glanced around. He caught Remus staring, and Remus felt his cheeks immediately flush even brighter red, but he couldn’t bring himself to look away, he just wanted to look at those eyes and the cheekbones and the way a slow, self-assured smirk bloomed over his mouth. The boy had caught him staring, but he didn’t seem angry or put off. He was just smiling right back at Remus, those eyes flickering all over his face, down his jumper, the book in his hands that he suddenly felt wildly self-conscious about. Remus shivered and bit his lip, eyes flickering back to his book after a long moment.
“So what is there to do around here for fun, dolly?” The boy asked Lily in an easy, conversational tone. Remus wondered if he had carried on looking at him once he had turned back to his book.
Lily sighed. “Don’t call me that.”
“What should I call you then, dolly?” He shot back, still in an easy tone. Remus heard the tones of the till ringing up.
“My name is Lily, but I’d prefer it if you didn’t call me anything.”
The two greasers laughed, the taller one grinning. “I’m James,” a deeper voice, must be from the taller one, Remus still didn’t look up, “and this is Sirius.”
Remus’ heart stuttered at the name, that must be the quicksilver boy, mustn’t it?
He still didn’t look up, picturing the tight fake-smile on Lily’s lips over the sound of the till opening and closing. His book had lost all of its previous allure, but he was determined not to put it down.
“Wonderful. Have a nice day, thanks for coming to Evans’s.” Lily’s voice, then Remus saw her busying herself at the sink. In his periphery, Remus saw the movement of black leather, the two boys, then the others from their booth, strolling towards the door.
“Say,” the voice came closer than Remus expected, and he looked up to see the boy leaning casually against the bar, his friends waiting a few feet away. He was glancing around the room and Remus found himself holding his breath to see those eyes close up. Remus bit his lip and waited for him to continue, wondering if he would even be able to speak if he were asked a question. “There any places to stay around here? We’re here for a while.” Then his eyes finally landed on Remus and they were even brighter close up, smiling and warm and piercing all at once.
“Um.” Remus willed himself not to stutter. “McGonagall has a B&B, j-just… just down the road.” Next to him, Peter set down his magazine and watched the greasers too. He saw Lily pause at the sinks and try to watch them out of the corner of her eye, but Remus knew, he could see her listening.
The quicksilver boy - Sirius, that was his name - smiled and Remus thought for a second he might go blind with the brightness of it. It made the ache in his joints fade away. “Thanks, uh-”
“Remus,” he supplied, before realising that it was probably a ridiculously stupid idea to give the greaser his name. He probably hadn’t even been asking for it and Remus had jumped the gun but his heart was beating a mile a minute.
But the boy just smiled wider. “Remus, I’m Sirius.” When Remus couldn’t quite make the words come, Sirius smiled and took a breath. “Well, it’s been unreal, Remus. See you around?”
Remus just managed to nod before Sirius turned and strolled out of Evans’s with his gang.
“I’m tellin’ ya’, Sirius. I’m in deep, I’m real gone, she’s a knock-out, she’s- she’s-” James Potter glanced back towards the coffee bar as he swung a leg over Sirius’ bike. They were headed down to the B&B Sirius had found out about. He was glad Sirius had asked, anyway, or else James was perfectly content to sleep outside Lily’s pad until she gifted him a smile. “I’m on Cloud 9, I swear.”
“Put a lid on it, James.” Sirius started the bike with a kick and they pulled off down the small road. “She looked at you like you were stuck to the bottom of her shoe - it ain’t gonna happen.” He parked up a short drive down the road and James wondered why they didn’t just walk and leave the bikes further up. “I’m sure there are some other fast girls around here somewhere if you’re dyin’ to get your end away.” Sirius grinned and elbowed him in the ribs.
James rolled his eyes and climbed off the bike. “Nah, I’m not into fast girls, I want that queen.” He grinned and ducked into the front door of the bed and breakfast to find a stern looking woman with dark hair in a stern looking bun sat at a desk.
She peered at James and Sirius from behind her wire-framed glasses as Marlene, Dorcas, Gideon, Fabian, Caradoc and Bones filed in behind them. “Good afternoon, gentlemen, ladies.”
James heard Marlene chuckle about being called a lady - that rarely happened - and smiled his best smile at the woman. “Afternoon, ma’am. We’re looking for a place to stay for a while, were told you could help us out.”
After a moment, the woman peered around the eight of them again before looking down to a ledger beneath her elbow. “I suppose so. But I want no funny business, no fighting, nothing untoward under my roof, do you hear me?”
James smiled and ran a hand over his hair. “Yes ma’am, you have my word.”
She peered at them for another long moment. James felt like he was back in the Army, being stared down by his Sergeant, back ram-rod straight, lips pressed tight together, Sirius at his shoulder, both of them wondering if they would see the outside world again. But they did, after conscription they both checked out of Her Majesty’s service, bought a motorbike each, founded the Marauders, found their blood brothers and sisters and never looked back. James held the woman’s gaze. He wasn’t scared by the way she peered at him over the frame of her glasses - he had seen the yawning black maw of death, both on the battlefield and staring down the barrel of a rivals gun.
“Very well,” the woman said, and busied herself with finding keys for them.
Once their business had been settled, James sat heavily on the end of the bed in their room. It wasn’t much to look at, nothing compared to some of the places they had stayed in London, or even Hogsmeade, but it was better than sleeping under the stars like they had done several times before.
Sirius looked around the room, lit a cigarette and toed off his boots. James watched him curiously - he seemed oddly animated, wound up for some reason. “This place is Nowheresville, huh? Maybe we’d have been better sticking on for a bit longer, make it to Hogsmeade to get your bike fixed.”
James lit his own cigarette and laid back on the bed, thinking about the redhead from the coffee bar. Lily, she’d said, hadn’t she? She was a real piece of work, fiery and smart, and James was definitely head over heels for her already.
“Nah,” James said as he blew out a plume of smoke and turned to look at Sirius sprawled across his own bed. “This place is alright, something’ll end up razzin’ your berries sooner or later, won’t it? No one caught your attention back there, no fast girls, fast guys?”
Sirius rolled over and kicked James in the shin. James sniggered and pushed his foot back. “There ain’t no fast guys here, James. Nowsheresville don’t know the meaning of ‘queer’, does it?”
“I dunno,” James shot back, rolling onto his side to reach for the ashtray beside the bed. “Maybe things are different out in the sticks, maybe everyone’s a poofter.”
“Shut it, square.” Sirius threw his cigarette case at James’ head, but he deflected it with a deft hand that said something to the frequency of projectiles thrown between them. Sirius knew he was only teasing - he was more than comfortable with his best friends proclivities, so long as he didn’t have to walk in on Sirius and some fast guy getting to know each other the same way Sirius didn’t want to walk in on James and a dame having a good time.
“Alright, alright,” James said brightly, clapping his hands together. “I’m gettin’ a bath. We can clean up and go see how Nowheresville spends its nighttime, huh?”
Sirius chuckled and followed him into the bathroom with a clap on the shoulder.
The bath water was surprisingly warm as James scrubbed up, Sirius shaving at the small mirror next to him. Everything was always easy between them. It came from sharing close quarters, at school, through the Army, on the bikes. James styled his hair in the mirror, cigarette at the corner of his mouth, towel around his hips, as Sirius scrubbed up in the bath after him, whistling some tune from the jukebox in the coffee bar.
A while later, with the sun lower in the sky, both of them emerged back onto the quiet streets of Godric’s Hollow, washed up, ready to roar with Marlene, Dorcas, Gid, Fab, Caradoc and Bones beside them.
Lily puffed out a breath and untied her apron from her waist. Through the window, she could already see her friends gathering on the village green, blankets laid out between them. It had become tradition after a while, that every summer, when the weather was beautiful and Evans’s was too overrun with the adults to be anything other than Boring Central, they would congregate there. The idea only seemed even more of a good one when Peter’s father got a radio for his workshop, which Peter faithfully borrowed for their nightly gatherings.
Of course, Chief Lupin had been pretty upset when he found out they were there a lot. It probably had something to do with the two six-packs of beer that Ted got from his older brother, but Remus had pointed out that in fact, they were all responsible enough, and no one could get drunk on the beer. Besides, he’d said in that wonderfully level voice that came across when he’d had far too much of his father tarring everyone with the same brush, it’s better that they were here on the village green and not in someone’s front room causing a riot for parents, or trying to hide away their behaviour. Because teenagers - Chief Lupin had scoffed at the word - were allowed to be teenagers.
Remus had tilted his chin up and watched his father walk away again. The rest of the group had touched his upper arm with muttered words of thanks, but Remus just kept staring at his father’s retreating back. He had such a quiet strength to him that Lily had almost dismissed when he first arrived at the Hollow. He was incredibly shy at first, but now Remus was fiercely protective of his friends, and fiercely against anything that his father deemed acceptable.
So now, the teens were allowed to sit on the village green, spread out their blankets and turn on their radio to actually be teenagers. Lily had convinced her mother with the line of would you rather us be on the green, or out in Hogsmeade trying to get served in a pub? That had stopped her arguing, and by the way Alice had appeared in the coffee bar the next day, her mother had passed that tidbit onto the other parents involved too. Happily, they congregated on the green to drink weak beer, dance to Jerry Lee Lewis and chat about life.
Shaken from her memories, Lily stepped out from behind the bar and into the kitchen where her father was in the middle of cooking for the dinner rush of the adults. “Do you need anything else before I’m done, Pa?”
“No,” George intoned without looking up from his myriad of pans. “I’ll be fine, your mother is coming along in a moment.”
“Alright, if you’re sure.” Lily folded up her apron and set it on the counter in the corner. “Well, Tunie and I will be on the green, then.”
George tutted disapprovingly but smiled in Lily’s direction anyway. “You be careful with those greasers about, love.”
“Yes, Pa. We’ll be on our best behaviour.” Lily crossed the kitchen and lightly hugged her father, stretching onto her toes to kiss his cheek. “I’ll see you back at home.”
“Not too late!”
“No, Pa!” Lily grinned as she stepped out of the kitchen, and weaved through the tables, full with adults and parents now the teens had vacated their spaces. She smiled nicely at a few parents, kissed a few cheeks and eventually stepped out into the mild summer air.
Alice lifted an arm and waved her over to their group with a smile so bright Lily could see it across the grass.
“Hello everyone.” Lily puffed out another exhale of breath and sat cross-legged between her sister and Mary as the replies chimed around the group with a well-known melody between them all. Almost everyone was there. Peter was fiddling with the radio, tongue between his teeth, to find the Hogsmeade FM channel that had fast become their group favourite. Ted was setting a few six-packs into a bucket of ice water someone must have brought from their garden.
“You see those greasers leavin’ the coffee bar earlier?” Alice asked, leaning forward with her chin on her hand.
“They looked like trouble to me,” Frank chimed in, shaking his head a little as he looked across the village green.
“Yeah, I agree. They were givin’ Tunie and I a hard time, weren’t they?” Lily glanced over to her sister, who nodded emphatically. “We gotta deal with the Death Eaters and these ones now?”
Peter looked up from the radio, now settled on the channel, tapping his foot as Connie Francis started through the speaker. “Let’s just hope they move on before they can cause trouble.”
Ted shrugged. “I dunno, We’ve managed the Death Eaters this whole time haven’t we?” He cracked open a can and settled next to Peter. “And they would’ve wrecked the place by now… these guys don’t seem as bad?”
Lily shrugged. She hated all greasers. Years of bad experiences from the Eaters coming into the coffee bar made it difficult to see past the leather jackets and shiny hair and awful presumptuous smirks. Still, she wouldn’t argue with her friend, just be there to help Ted pick up the pieces, like they all did, once the greasers rioted through town and left again in a day or so.
“Did that one say anything to you, Rem?” Mary asked after a moment of silence, leaning forward to speak to Remus, who had been idly watching the clouds, not quite part of the conversation.
Remus lifted one shoulder. “He just asked where they could stay, that’s all… They seemed fine enough.” He held Mary’s gaze until she hummed an agreement and turned to chatter away with Alice, then dropped his head back to watch the clouds again. Was he blushing because of his illness, or was it for something else entirely?
Sirius swung his leg over his bike to head back through Godric’s Hollow and see what came alive when everything else was starting to sleep. He’d seen a girl in pedal pushers with her arm linked through the arm of a boy in a shirt buttoned to the collar on their way to the B&B earlier. They looked like they were going somewhere, and Sirius wanted to find out where the hep cats spent their evenings at Godric’s Hollow.
James had convinced Marlene to let him ride her bike, so Sirius had Dorcas with her arms around his waist, chuckling at the novelty of a man between her legs. Sirius grinned back and wiggled his bum back against her just to make her even more uncomfortable, earning a slap on the shoulder. Sirius slowed down as they pulled past the coffee bar from earlier, quirking an eyebrow to see a group of teenagers gathered on the village green under the pallid light of a lone streetlamp.
He turned his head to mutter into Dorcas’ temple. “Shall we check this out? Seems like the only happenin’ thing in this place.”
“Yeah, alright.” Dorcas smiled and turned on the pillion to gesture to James and Marlene - who was looking glum as hell, with her chin perched on James’ shoulder - and the rest of the gang followed. Sirius pulled up onto the grass of the green and dropped down the kickstand, grinning in delight when the group of teens looked up from their place sat on the grass, a few blankets spread beneath them. Damn, these kids looked just like he and James did before they got conscripted - so young and carefree.
Once he killed the engine Sirius heard the hum of a transistor radio and quickly looked around to find it sat next to one of the boys. Sirius let Dorcas slide off the bike behind him - not offering his arm because she didn’t bloody need it - before climbing off himself. He saw a few vaguely familiar faces; the redhead Lily, the blonde boy reading the Beano, and Remus, Remus with his curly brown hair and deep brown eyes. Sirius smiled wider and straightened his jacket.
The whole group seemed to bristle as the Marauders strolled up, James holding a bottle of liquor he’d taken from his knapsack earlier.
“Mind if we join you?” James drawled, an easy smile on his face, shaking the bottle in his hand as a sweetener to the deal.
No one seemed to dare to say anything. But Sirius shifted his gaze to Remus, leant back on one hand as if he had been staring up at the darkening sky. Remus smiled softly, just for a second before he looked away again.
James shrugged off the awkwardness and settled down to sit in the circle the teens had created. He popped the cork from the top of the liquor as Sirius sat next to him and smiled at Remus, who seemed to be entirely avoiding his gaze and instead glanced down into the can of beer he was nursing.
Lily, the redhead from the coffee bar, leant forward as Sirius took a pull on the liquor bottle. “We don’t want any trouble from the likes of you.”
Marlene, who had moved around to sit next to the Beano boy, looking terrified by the presence of a woman, snorted with laughter. She leant forward to snag a can of beer from the bucket of cold water in the middle of their circle. “We’re not here to cause trouble, sugar. Relax, we’re just kickin’ back.”
Dorcas grinned and prised the can from her lovers fingers to take a drink, putting a hand on her thigh. The ripple of tension through the group didn’t pass by Sirius, and any hope of some fast boys in Godric’s Hollow sank away.
“Sure,” a boy said, looking as authoritative as he sounded, and Sirius had to smile. Not everyone here was a wet blanket, it seemed. “I’m Ted.” He leant over the group to offer a hand to James, who gave off that natural leadership vibe.
James grinned and shook his hand. “James.”
Sirius took the lead after that, raising a hand to wave at Ted and introduce himself. Then the rest of the Marauders gave their own names through easy laughter and drinks. Ted cleared his throat and looked pointedly around the group before someone else spoke up.
“I’m Frank, this is Alice,” said the boy in the collared shirt, indicating to the girl in pedal pushers Sirius had seen walking earlier.
“Mary,” said a pretty blonde girl in a poodle skirt and polka dot blouse, then the Beano boy, who introduced himself as Peter. Sirius grinned as Remus introduced himself and waved shyly to the rest of the group, Sirius swelling with pride that he already knew the boy’s name.
Sirius lit a cigarette as the blonde next to Lily spoke up. “I’m Petunia.” The boy on the other side of her with a sharp moustache seemed wholly displeased with the situation, but introduced himself as Vernon anyway.
Lily rolled her eyes and opened a can of beer. James visibly perked up next to Sirius - the girl he was in deep for drank beer too? - and he had to hide a chuckle in the elbow of his jacket. “You already know who I am,” Lily said with a pointed look towards James, who simply grinned back.
“That I do, baby,” James drawled, running a hand through his hair.
Lily sighed and turned back to Petunia to continue a conversation, effectively turning her back on James, who Sirius wasn’t sure had ever been turned down by a dame before. James looked like a lovesick puppy for a moment before he took another swig of the liquor bottle. Sirius laughed and threw an arm around his shoulders.
Soon enough, James’ liquor bottle was empty, passed around the two groups now melded into one, Peter and Gideon in a discussion about Dennis the Menace of Beano fame, Marlene teaching Mary and Alice the best way to tie a scarf around their hair without it coming loose from the wind. Sirius watched, leaning back on his hand, and mused on the trappings of society. Everyone looked and acted different, but maybe they weren’t all so different, they all seemed roughly the same age, just from different places.
“Hello,” a voice from next to Sirius startled him, and he tilted his head to see Remus settling next to him. Sirius smiled slowly, he was nicely buzzing and seeing some dreamy fella sitting next to him with a shy smile and that curl of hair just so was the cherry on top of his cake of a good evening.
“Hello Remus,” Sirius drawled back, lighting a cigarette for something to do with his hands. He paused and offered his cigarette case out to the other boy.
“I don’t smoke… I don’t think,” Remus said as he watched Sirius strike a match and light the cigarette. “You remembered me.”
Sirius smiled wider and took a drag on his cigarette, raising his head up to blow the smoke away from the other boy, aware he was being watched and so what if he put on a little show blowing a smoke ring. “Of course I did, doll.”
“Doll?” Remus’ cheeks were pink in the streetlight, was he flushed from the beer or Sirius’ compliment?
“Uh-huh.” Sirius drew on his cigarette and delighted at Remus watching his mouth. “Do you like doll, or would something else be better?”
Remus’ eyebrows sprang up towards his hairline and a smile threatened the corners of his mouth. Sirius didn’t have eyes for anyone else, even as he heard Dorcas shriek with laughter, and Caradoc stand up to mimic Chuck Berry on the guitar, the radio turned up now everyone was loose with liquor and dancing. Everything else had the volume turned down. Remus stared at a point just over Sirius’ shoulder, as if he didn’t quite want to meet his eye. “N-no, doll is fine… it’s fine.”
Sirius grinned wider and finally glanced around the group. James was trying his hardest to hit on Lily, who was definitely ignoring him, but everyone else looked in good spirits. Sirius took another pull on his cigarette before holding the butt end out to Remus. “You don’t think you smoke?”
Remus’ well-deep eyes flickered between the proffered cigarette and Sirius’ smile. He looked adorable, all honeyed and blurry in the soft light, the sun now setting around them. Sirius was sweet on him already, wanted to bundle him up in one of their picnic blankets and make him feel good. “I don’t think so, no.” Remus turned a little, watching the smoke curl. “But you make it look so sweet.”
Sirius laughed, taking the cigarette back and taking a draw. “I do?”
“Uh-huh,” Remus shot back, scarlet red and swigging his beer.
“Well, I’m glad, doll.”
Remus smiled to hide the hammering of his heart. Did he really just say that? He’d never acted on his Marlon-over-Marilyn thoughts before, if you didn’t count his drunken kiss with Arthur Weasley, and really no one remembered that but him, occasionally, in the middle of the night, in cold sweats thinking about his mistakes. But Sirius didn’t seem to care, just continued smoking his cigarette, pink lips and quicksilver eyes this time, shining with liquor and streetlights and sunset.
Remus felt fuzzy. He’d had too much beer, a few too many pulls of that liquor bottle. But it was a good kind of fuzzy, sat opposite Sirius, the sunset throwing a whole host of colours across the shine of his black hair, longer than the other boys wore it, brushing the shoulders of his leather jacket, sunglasses pushed up on the top of his head as the sky grew darker.
He glanced away, because those quicksilver eyes felt far too piercing, and saw Alice and Frank were rockin’ and rollin’ to the radio, Jerry Lee Lewis playing, the bow in Alice’s hair bopping to the music. Vernon and Petunia were dancing too, and he was sure Sirius’ friend - James, was it, with the hair? - was trying to get Lily to dance. It wasn’t going well.
Sirius seemed to see their conversation across the green, and indicated towards them with his cigarette. “James is hung up on your friend, you know.”
Remus laughed and drained the rest of his beer. “I can tell. She’s far from easy.”
“Oh, I’d expect so. No one around here seems easy.” Sirius stubbed his cigarette out in the dirt.
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Remus frowned a little. What was that supposed to mean? Was Sirius expecting the girls around the Hollow to be easy, was he expecting him to be easy? …Was he? He was pretty sure if Sirius kissed him, he wouldn’t push him away, would he?
“No, not a bad thing.” Sirius glanced across to Remus, a long look from the corner of his eye that made Remus grin ear to ear, so much that his face was hurting. His hands were tight gripping on his knees and he remembered the last person he kissed was Mary, sweet blonde Mary who kissed like she was scared of being devoured alive. But Sirius, oh, Sirius would kiss like he was the devourer, Remus thought, like he was striding into the town of Remus’ mouth and causing havoc at the coffee bar of his throat.
“Good.” Remus looked back to the group and let out a long breath. Were his hands shaking? “Good, I’m glad.”
Sirius smiled another one of his slow smiles, creeping across his lips and brightening the whole village green. Remus felt breathless, and he wondered if that meant he would be having a flare up soon. Was this the high before the fall of his adrenaline, the fevers, the aches, or was it Sirius? He took a deep breath and looked out over the group, listening as Sirius whistled along to the music.
The darker-skinned girl of their group, Dorcas, had coerced Peter into dancing, except she was leading, spinning him around, and Peter was getting more and more red-faced, grinning madly every time she spun him around, a laugh on her painted lips. Remus had never seen people look so adventurous before. Even the Death Eaters, when they came through, were in shades of grey, dark slicked hair - although one of them was very blonde, if he remembered - dark jackets, dark jeans, dark expressions.
But these guys were all the colours - Marlene with yellow hair and painted red lips, dark-chocolate Dorcas, the flaming red hair of the twins, James and a grin that seemed to saturate the world - as much as Lily would’ve hated that thought - and Sirius, quicksilver Sirius who made Remus’ heart beat out of his chest. Oh, he was a goner.
Lily leant over and tapped him on the shoulder. Remus started and tried to remember if he had been leaning in towards Sirius or not, if they had been closer than appropriate, if their shared smiles seemed secretive or if his cheeks were redder than usual. Lily didn’t seem to care, she looked a little frazzled in fact.
“Dance with me, Rem,” Lily instructed as she thrust out a hand to pull him up. She glanced over to Sirius, who was watching with a smile on his lips. “You tell your friend to lay off it, will you? I don’t want to dance with him.”
Sirius laughed and nodded, lighting another cigarette as Remus stood and held Lily’s hands to dance. He wasn’t much of a cat, but he could move, enough to dance with Alice at the winter dance before she was going steady with Frank, enough to get away with it, enough to jive a little with a girl at the Hogsmeade drive-in one night after too many beers. He probably didn’t dance well enough to dance with Sirius, he thought.
He tried not to be obvious as he watched Sirius stand from their previous spot and walk around to Marlene, cigarette at the corner of his mouth as he held a hand out to her. Remus wondered if Sirius would rather be dancing with him. Which one of them would lead, he wondered as he spun Lily out, her red hair spinning along with her skirts, and looked across to see Marlene dancing, all jeans and leather next to Sirius. Sirius was grinning, cigarette still dangling from the corner of his lips, spinning Marlene and jivin’ and rockin’ in all the right ways, like he and Marlene had danced together a million times before, like Remus and Lily, but then he and Lily were just friends. Were Sirius and Marlene just friends, too? What was the likelihood of the boy he was crushing on also being a Marlon-over-Marilyn kinda guy. Had he read it wrong? Maybe Sirius was a Marilyn-over-Marlon kind of guy, and he had just made a fool of himself.
The song gave way back to the radio presenter, but his honey-smooth voice didn’t sound as sweet now Remus had heard Sirius’ dulcet laugh so close to his ear. Lily popped onto her toes, braced her hand on his upper arm, and kissed his cheek as a thank you. Remus tried not to notice the disgruntled sound James made when she pulled away and went back to sit next to her handbag.
Remus stifled a yawn into his elbow. Sometimes he forgot he got sick, that he had less energy than the others might, and perhaps it might be time to call it a night. He retrieved his jacket from the corner of one of the picnic blankets and crossed over to Lily. “I’m headed home,” he advised, shrugging his jacket on against the impending chill of the night now the sun had truly set.
“Alright. You’ll get home okay?” Lily said, already mid-discussion with Mary. Remus wondered for a moment how girls could carry on a conversation about anything at all, but smiled back nonetheless.
“Yeah, I’ll get home fine. See you tomorrow.”
Remus turned and saw the rest of the group dancing still, Marlene was dancing with Dorcas now, both of them wiggling their hips and gyrating closer than Remus had seen two girls dance before. He supposed Marlene and Dorcas were both Marilyn-over-Marlon kinds of girls. The two redheaded twins were teaching Peter how to dance like Elvis now Jailhouse Rock was playing, and Peter was wiggling his legs and pointing his toes like Remus had never seen before. Surprisingly, he looked quite good doing it. Remus smiled to himself at the thought.
“I’ll walk you home.” Sirius’ voice came from beside him, and Remus glanced to see the boy lighting another cigarette. He idly wondered how much tobacco Sirius must get through, before he smiled softly.
“That’d be swell, thanks…” He didn’t miss Lily’s glare from next to them, but rolled his eyes and walked past. For some stupid reason, he wasn’t scared of walking back home with Sirius. He might look a little intimidating but Remus knew Lily’s prejudices came from the run-ins with the Death Eaters, and Remus knew the people they were sat with now were different.
“So long as you walk, Remus. You’re not getting on that bloody bike,” Lily said, sounding stern as anything, and Remus had to laugh.
“Yes, mum.”
Sirius chuckled from beside him. “You got my word, Red, I’ll get him home safe.”
Remus felt his cheeks warm, but Lily looked unimpressed. “Your word don’t mean a thing to me, Black.”
Lily was clearly referencing his hair in the same way Sirius referenced hers, but a flash of something passed through Sirius’ quicksilver eyes. He recovered it in a second, smiling and giving Lily a remarkably sharp salute before turning to Remus. “Shall we?”
Remus smiled and started back towards the path. The Police House wasn’t too far away, only a few minutes walk down the alley past the coffee bar and into the estate behind. Sirius strolled beside him, one hand shoved in the pocket of his jeans, the other with a cigarette dangling between the fingers. Remus walked quite slowly, hands in the pockets of his bomber jacket, and wondered if Sirius felt like he was walking home from a date too. Remus kept sneaking sidelong glances at Sirius’ profile, all sharp angles, the line of his nose, the sleek black of his eyebrows, the smile curling the corners of his lips.
Remus felt the tang of conversation in the back of his throat. “Your friends… Marlene and Dorcas,” he murmured, risking another glance sideways to Sirius, all the moonlight and darkening sky now the streetlights had been left behind. “They’re…” The heat flared in his cheeks. “I don’t know the right word.”
Sirius chuckled, took a long drag on his cigarette and crushed it beneath his boot without breaking his stride. “Queer? Bent? Rug-munchers?”
Remus choked on thin air at the barrage of terms. “Yeah… yeah, that.” He felt a little stupid now, was that a better word? Was that a Marilyn-over-Marlon kind of gal? Was that what he could be called too, only with boys and not girls? He swallowed and scrubbed a hand through his hair. “I’ve never heard it called… heard any of that before.”
Sirius smiled his slow, syrupy smile again. “Not a lot of queers in Godric’s Hollow, huh?”
Remus slowed to a stop at the hedge down the street from his house. He definitely didn’t want his parents seeing some greaser boy walk him home. His cheeks still felt flaming hot, his fingers shaking and all he could think about was Sirius’ slow smile reflecting in the moonlight. Sirius stopped as he did and turned expectantly, waiting for his answer. Remus cleared his throat. “No, not a lot of… queers, no.”
Sirius smiled another quicksilver smile, faster that time, perhaps it reached his eyes. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, then reached out and touched Remus on the upper arm. Remus went still, unsure of what to do, as Sirius’ fingers trailed down his arm to take his hand. Sirius squeezed his fingers for a moment before bringing them up and pressing a kiss to the back of his hand. His lips were warm, slightly chapped but still soft. Remus hoped the imprint of Sirius’ tobacco would stay on his skin.
Remus couldn’t hold back the smile that bloomed across his face. He imagined this was the same way Petunia felt when Vernon asked her to dance at the May Day dance, or how Alice felt when Frank asked her to go steady. Sirius had only kissed his hand, that didn’t seem on par did it? But still, Remus felt giddy with it.
Sirius’ smile widened. “G’night, doll.”
Remus nodded. “Goodnight, Sirius. Thank you for walking me home.”
Remus ducked away after that, Sirius’ fingers squeezing his one last time before he let go, stepped through the garden gate and hurried down the path. The door was on the latch but he pushed it closed when he stepped through and found his mother already in the front room. He wondered if the happiness showed on his face and pressed a cool hand to his cheek to try and tamp down on the redness.
“Have a nice time out, dear?” Hope asked without looking up from the crocheting she had in her lap. The radio was on in the corner, the quiet hum of the music a stark contrast to the volume of Peter’s dad’s radio on the village green, Jerry Lee Lewis in their veins.
Remus just nodded and leant against the door, wondering if Sirius was still outside. “Yeah, had a good night, Ma. Da not here?”
Hope shook her head. “No, he was called through to Little Whinging to help out there.”
Remus nodded, glad his father wasn’t here, to quiz him on what they had gotten up to that evening. Lyall didn’t seem to understand that ‘kids these days’ were allowed to go out and do things by themselves, to sit with their friends and talk and socialise - that Remus was entirely separate from his father. “I’m going to bed, if that’s alright? Feeling a little… tired.”
Hope set her crocheting down and peered at him over the top of her reading glasses. “You getting sick again?”
“No, Ma, I’ll be swell. See you tomorrow.”
Remus leant over the back of the sofa to kiss his mothers cheek before climbing the stairs and getting into bed. He fell asleep a few moments after taking his medication, sleeping deeply until the morning, dreaming of quicksilver.
Chapter Text
Lily loved the summer. She loved the freedom of not having to think about school, especially now they weren’t due back at all anymore. They had finished that summer and now Lily felt like the whole world was laid out in front of her. Perhaps she would stay in Godric’s Hollow and help out at the coffee bar, but that didn’t set her blood firing. Perhaps she would move to Hogsmeade and see if she could get a typist job, lay the world out even more. Petunia could stay and take on the coffee bar; Lily could take on the world.
But for now, she still had the coffee bar to deal with. It was a family business after all, and her day off wasn’t for a few more days. The walk from their home to Evans’s only took a few minutes, and it was a path Lily knew like the back of her hand, but today, something felt different.
Maybe it was the greasers from last night, the ones who strolled into their little group and upended everything. Lily saw the way Peter was dancing with the two redheads, the way Mary seemed to preen a little when the tall one sat next to her and asked about the pretty scarf in her hair, the way Remus smiled, drawing his shoulders up to his ears when Sirius asked to walk him home. It wasn’t that Lily hated every single greaser, but the ones she had seen around were awful. The Death Eaters always came strolling into town looking for trouble, and of course the coffee bar had to bear the brunt of their ‘hilarious’ antics. Lily and Petunia were pretty birds in pretty skirts for the taking, with a slap on the bottom or a hand on the arm a touch too tight. So even though the greasers from last night might not be the worst of the bunch, Lily wasn’t in a hurry to make friends.
As she turned onto the main road, a scuffle caught Lily’s attention, and she turned to see two of the boys from last night, James - ugh - and Sirius, scuffling with Severus.
“Hey! Get off of him! Sev!” Lily ran over, glad she’d worn her pedal pushers that day instead of a skirt. “Get off him!”
As soon as James realised just who was shouting at him, he straightened up and tugged Sirius back by his jacket. Severus wiped his bloody nose on the back of his hand, his expression switching as soon as he saw Lily. Lily smiled reassuringly at him before rounding on the two greasers. “What are you doing to my friend? You think you can come in here an-”
“He’s your friend?” James all but spat, lips curling as he ran a hand through his hair.
“He’s an Eater, Red.”
Lily gasped, turning to pin Sev with an incredulous look, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “You’re an Eater, Sev, are you?”
Severus smiled softly, shrugging his shoulders. “They’re lying, Lily. You’ve known me for my whole life.”
Lily crossed her arms, stepping between the two bristling greasers and her childhood friend. “There. So why don’t you just get on your way?” When neither of the boys moved, Lily turned to Sev and smiled kindly at him. “Sev? Why don’t you get where you need to go. I can come and see you later this afternoon, if you’re not busy?”
Severus stepped up to Lily’s side and touched her lightly on the arm. Lily glared as James seemed to puff his chest out even more. Severus smiled. “That’d be great. See you later, Lily.” He turned slightly and sneered at the two greasers before starting off down the main road towards the corner shop his mother ran.
Lily watched her friend go for a moment, letting him get out of earshot before she rounded on the two greasers again, pointing her finger square at James’ chest. “How dare you? Come in here and start trouble? You’re no better than the Death Eaters yourself, you know! It’s disgusting.”
James ran a hand through his hair. “You don’t know what you’re saying, dolly.”
Lily screeched and shoved at his shoulder with the flat of her hand. “Don’t call me that!”
“Alright, alright, take it easy.” James held both hands out to her, palm up, which Lily promptly batted away.
Sirius stepped forward. “It’s a bit, Red, that friend of yours. He’s an Eater, I’m tellin’ ya, they got these tattoos and he has one.”
Lily raised an eyebrow, even more incredulous now. “You’re both kookie. Will you up and leave already? No one here is looking for trouble.”
“We would,” Sirius supplied, looking far more frustrated with the situation than James, who looked like a deer caught in lamplight, “but James’ bike is being fixed right now, so you’re stuck with us, Red.” Sirius paused to strike a match and light the end of his cigarette, before smiling a sardonic smile at her and blowing a plume of smoke right in her face.
Lily wafted the smoke away and turned to jab Sirius in the chest. “And you, you think you’re all that.” She jabbed him again. “You stay the hell away from Remus.”
Sirius turned up the collar of his leather jacket and seemed to square up to Lily. For a moment she was terrified, shifting her weight backwards ready to run and scream and of course, of course, all greasers were trouble. But James grabbed his upper arm and he seemed to relax a little. He still stared right through her. “Why? You got a problem with me and Remus talkin’?”
“Maybe if it were just talking!” Lily jabbed him in the chest again. “Remus has other, more important things to deal with. He can’t have you messing him around, so stay away from him.” Lily was almost frustrated with herself. She didn’t want to get drawn into this argument, she didn’t want to mention anything about Rem getting ill a lot, but these two apparently just had a way of riling her up.
Sirius crossed his arms. “If I were lookin’ for something easy I would look somewhere else. I’m just talkin’ to your friend.” He narrowed his eyes. “You jealous, Red?”
Lily snorted derisively. “Like hell I am!”
Sirius laughed at that, threw his head back and barked a laugh that shook his shoulders and that made Lily’s blood boil. She was seething over the fact that these two damn boys could just come in and mess everything up. They were going to cause so much trouble.
“Yeah, well,” Lily spat back, raising her voice over his laughter. “His father is the Police Chief around here, so you definitely don’t want to get involved, do you?”
Sirius immediately stopped laughing and gave Lily a long, hard look, crossing his arms across his chest. Lily gave him a self-assured smile. Ha, that would make him leave Remus alone, wouldn’t it? Delinquents like him stayed as far away from the police as possible. She knew that they had liquor they shouldn’t have, probably drugs, probably a million stolen things on their bikes. Maybe the bikes were stolen too.
Greasers were bad news, Lily knew that.
“Uh-huh.” Lily started down the road towards the coffee bar. “I thought so. Just stay away until your bike gets fixed then get out of here, okay?”
Sirius and James stayed silent as she walked away, ponytail swinging from side to side, bouncing on the balls of her feet, happy to finally have gotten one over on them. She would have to tell Remus to keep away as well; greasers were always bad news. By the time she got to the coffee bar, her mother was already opening up and quickly set her to work.
It was still early when a knock came at the door, and Lily moved from behind the bar to pull it open. “Hello Sev.”
Severus gestured with the box on his arm. “Produce for the day. Mother asked me to bring it around to you.”
Lily smiled and stepped aside to allow her old friend into the building. They had been friends for such a long time, living around the corner from each other and playing in that shared piece of grass between their houses. Sev was quiet and smart and liked the same things Lily did, but once they started going to school in Hogsmeade he grew distant. They had different classes, hung around with different people, and slowly, Severus would cringe when Lily said hi to him in the hallways, or Lily’s new friends like Remus and Peter and Alice and Mary would go quiet whenever he walked past. In the end they stopped trying to talk to each other.
But here in the summer, back in Godric’s Hollow, Sev with groceries from his mother’s corner shop for Lily’s parents to cook, it felt like they were still best friends.
“Are you alright, Sev?” Lily asked as she secured the door behind them to stop Mr. Moody or old Aberforth trotting in when they weren’t quite open. “After those greasers?”
Severus cleared his throat as he set the box onto the bar. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about it, Lily. They’re just some stupid gang.”
“Well, alright.” Lily crossed the room and began to help Severus unpack the groceries from the box, setting them on the bartop. Suppressing a sigh, Lily moved around the bar to start putting some of the things away to give them more room.
“Saw you on the green last night,” Sev muttered into the box, not lifting his eyes from the task at hand.
“Mhmm, we were there all evening.” Lily peered across at her old friend, trying to place the strange note to his voice. When Sev didn’t say anything in response and tucked a strand of his hair behind his ear, Lily sighed and set a hand on her hip. “You could come and sit with us you know. I keep inviting you.”
“I don’t think the rest of your… friends would like me there.”
“I don’t care. I would like you to be there, Sev. We’re friends aren’t we?”
Severus pressed his lips together. “You seemed happy enough with those greasers.”
Lily leant against the bar and raised an eyebrow, thankful her parents were in the kitchen, the radio babbling away with early morning discussions to cover their conversation. What was that supposed to mean? Sev was more than welcome in their group, and Lily would make sure everyone would accept him, because as entertaining as the Marauders were last night - she supposed - they would probably be gone tomorrow. Lily picked a smudge of dirt out from beneath her fingernail before looking back to Severus. “Oh, I did, did I?”
Sev pushed another strand of hair behind his ear again before shifting the now-empty box from the bartop back onto his arm. “I better get back. See you Lily.”
Lily sighed and followed him to the door, unlocking it to allow him out. She didn’t bother to re-latch the door. It was close enough to opening time now that she wouldn’t mind if mad old Aberforth or Mr. Moody came in for a cup of coffee. She stood at the doorway and watched Severus, the slope of his shoulders, the way he scuffed his feet, until he had disappeared around the corner to Mrs. Snape’s corner shop.
Greasers just had to come and ruin everything, didn’t they?
It took Remus a while to get going the next morning. Perhaps he was getting a little ill, or perhaps it was the late night last night, sitting out on the village green in the summer sun, or perhaps it was the way Sirius had set his heart racing…
But still, it was just after lunchtime when he managed to finally get himself together, have a bath, slather on some sunscreen and set off for a slow walk towards the coffee bar. It was a better place to hang out than anyone’s front room, especially when Lily was working, and the opportunity to see Sirius again hung in the air like the threatening mist before a downpour.
Remus kept to the shade as he walked to the coffee bar, smiling as he ducked inside to see Vernon, Frank, Mary and Ted at the bar, Lily and Petunia behind the counter chatting between making the drinks. But as soon as Lily saw him, her face fell a little, some measure of uncertainty flickering over her pretty features.
Remus slid onto one of the stools, deciding he would talk to Lily when they both got a moment, and looked around the room. He nearly fell straight off his stool again when he saw Caradoc, James and Sirius in another booth. He felt the heat in his cheeks again, remembering Sirius kissing his hand the night before and the stupid grin that clung to his mouth even through his sleeping.
Sirius looked up as Remus sat down, and their eyes met through the other people sat at the bar. Remus wasn’t sure what he expected, another slow smile perhaps, or a quicker, self-assured smirk, but what he didn’t expect was Sirius to meet his eyes and resolutely look away again, back out of the window, knuckles white on his milkshake glass.
Remus stilled, sitting properly on his stool and muttering a greeting to the others.
“Chocolate milkshake, Remus?” Petunia called from the sink. Remus made a soft noise of assent and tried to lose himself in Ted and Frank’s current discussion about the newest James Stewart film. Oh, so Sirius didn’t want to speak to him at all, did he? Remus chewed on the ragged edge of his thumbnail, running through the events of the night before. Should he have done something when Sirius kissed his hand? Was the other boy expecting something in return? But how was he to know that? Was that it? Or maybe Sirius wasn’t a Marlon-over-Marilyn kinda guy at all, and he had just- … Remus didn’t know. He didn’t know what to do with any of this, it wasn’t like he had a tonne of courting experience and had kissed lots of girls on the hand!
A moment later, breaking Remus out of his spiral of worry, Lily came over and started wiping the counter in front of him. “I need to talk to you for a moment.”
“… Okay, what’s wrong, what happened?” Remus immediately thought about what could’ve happened after he and Sirius left the night before. Did something kick off? Remus slid from his stool and skirted around the counter to meet Lily at the gap near the kitchen.
Lily shook her head and leant her hip against the counter. “I ran into James and Sirius this morning.” When she didn’t say anything else, Remus raised an eyebrow. He refused to look back at Sirius. He clearly didn’t want to speak to him, even after what happened last night. Clearly it hadn’t meant a thing to him. “They were beating on Sev.”
“Right…” Privately, Remus thought Severus Snape was a bit kookie anyway. He didn’t seem to like the rest of the group and always thought he was better than them just because his father worked in London occasionally. But Severus was Lily’s childhood friend, they had grown up together, and apparently that wasn’t easy to ditch.
“And well… look, I think they’re bad news. I wanted them to leave…” Lily looked down and picked at the skin next to her thumbnail, a sign of her nervousness, Remus knew from many years of friendship. He slid a hand out to stop her. “I was worried about you last night when he said he would walk you home. Everything was alright?”
Remus sighed, squeezing Lily’s hand and remembering the feel of Sirius’ fingers against his. “Everything was fine… What did you do?”
“I told him to stay away from you. Told him about your dad. I wish I hadn’t now, Rem, honest. I just think they’re real bad news, I didn’t want you to get hurt.” Lily drew her shoulders up towards her ears as if she were expecting Remus to shout. But he didn’t.
Remus sighed and squeezed Lily’s fingers again, before letting them go and starting towards Sirius in the booth. So that was why Sirius didn’t smile at him when he walked in, why he didn’t come over and say hi, or apparently, want anything to do with him now.
Well, Remus Lupin had had years of being Lyall Lupin’s son, the Police Chief’s son, Lupin whose Dad was no fun, and now he was 17 and his own person and sick of being in his father’s shadow. He might be shy and prefer to blend into the background, but that didn’t mean he’d let everyone walk all over him, especially when it came to being judged for something entirely out of his control.
He strode over to the booth with his mouth set in a determined line, sitting next to Sirius and nudging him over with his hip to make more room. He didn’t notice if James or Caradoc looked surprised, only stared at Sirius with one eyebrow raised.
Oh no, this was a mistake. All of Remus’ bravado sank away as soon as he sunk into the seat. Ohhhh no, what was he doing facing up to a greaser like this? Even if this particular greaser had smiled at him so sweetly last night and walked him home and kissed his hand and made his insides feel like jelly and butterflies.
“Afternoon, Sirius,” Remus said, hoping that his voice wasn’t shaking with the sudden whack of fear to his gut. He leant over to snag a straw from the holder in the middle of the table and stuck it into Sirius’ strawberry milkshake, hoping his look was yeah, what are you gonna do about it? and not oh god, don’t hurt me. He took a drink of the milkshake - at least that was tasty.
Sirius looked as if he were hiding a smirk, but his eyebrows were quirking on the edge of a frown. “Hello, doll.” He reached out and also took a drink of his milkshake through the other straw, looking mildly put out that Remus had forced his way onto the seat next to him.
Remus refused to look across the table to see James and Caradoc, but he saw Sirius’ grey gaze flicker across to them then out across the coffee bar. “Lily told you about my Da, then?” Usually, Remus really did want to blend into the background, but for some reason, he refused to back down this time. It was like the carrot had been dangled in front of his face, quicksilver Sirius with his smile and his ability to come rioting into Godric’s Hollow and teach him about life and smoking and looking so damn sweet, and Remus couldn’t let it go now.
Sirius swallowed, eyes flickering over to James and then over to where he presumed Lily was watching by the counter. “Yeah, she did.”
“Well,” Remus tugged the milkshake between them and took a drink. He didn’t know why he was so upset, frustrated, angry even, that Sirius had just backed off when Lily confronted him. Greasers were fighters. He bet Sirius had been in many fistfights, and won them too judging by his scraped knuckles, so why had he let Remus go so easily? If he hadn’t come over to the booth, would Sirius have been content to ignore him until James’ bike was fixed and they went on their way, leaving Remus here in dreary old Godric’s Hollow to distantly remember the meaning of the word queer? “I didn’t think you’d roll over so easy. My Da isn’t me.”
Sirius peered at him for a moment before throwing his head back in laughter. “Alright, doll. I ain’t rollin’ over.” He took a drink from the milkshake between them at the same time Remus did, and Remus tried not to flush at how close Sirius was to him. “But I don’t think Red will be so pleased.”
Remus risked a glance back at Lily, who looked somewhere been thoroughly displeased and mildly excited. He smiled in an attempt to reassure her and received a flickering and hesitant smile in response before she swept away to take an order from old Mad-Eye in the corner. Remus looked back to Sirius, still trying to hold onto to the bubbling anger, just as a defence to not melt immediately under that quicksilver gaze and make an utter fool of himself.
“I think she’ll have to manage, won’t she?”
James sighed and slid out of his seat at the booth to get another drink.
Sirius and Remus - the shy looking boy with the permanent blush - were sharing a milkshake and talking about everything and nothing and were far too sweet for James to deal with unless he had some dame tucked under his shoulder to balance it all out. It just so happened the only broad he was interested in caught them in the street this morning beating on an Eater, and told them in no uncertain terms to stay away. Thankfully Evans’s was the only coffee bar in town and Lily didn’t have the authority to turn them away. At present, the object of James’ affections was trying to burn a hole through his jacket with the ferocity of her glare. It only made James love her more.
“Afternoon, Lily,” he murmured, emphasising the fact he definitely called her Lily and pretending entirely that he didn’t have to choke down the temptation to call her dolly or baby or any other sickly sweet nickname that seemed to roll off his tongue around her. He was but a step above falling to his knees and professing his undying love to her in all of her fire and beauty and intensity.
Lily rolled her eyes and scrubbed a cloth across the bar where James leant on one elbow, as if to try and remove any trace of him being there at all. “What can I get you?”
“I would be utterly indebted to you if I could get another ice cream float, Lily?” James said, trying his best to be suave and running a hand over his hair. He could see Sirius and Remus in the chrome-plated reflection of the bar and simultaneously sighed and rejoiced at the sight of his blood brother brimming with happiness.
Lily sighed but set about making his drink. “I’ll settle for 2 shillings rather than a debt, James.” Thrilling at the sound of his name in her mouth, James eased himself onto the stool and watched her with unbridled admiration. She sure had one classy chassis, in those black pedal pushers and a sleeveless blouse, her flame-red hair piled up into a ponytail and accented with a white paisley scarf. James wanted to pluck the scarf from her hair and tie it around his arm or knot it over the handlebars of his bike so he could parade it as if to say Look, look, she’s sweet on me! I got me the sweetest girl in the whole of the county - no, the whole of Britain, dammit.
James chuckled and leant on the bar to watch her. “Alright, I suppose.” He watched for a moment as Lily paused at the sink, followed her eye-line to Sirius and Remus, looking the picture of opposites attract, Sirius all in black, scrapes over his knuckles, Remus in a mustard jumper - really, a jumper in the summer? - still trying to look glum but James could just tell. He was a romantic at heart. Sirius always teased him ruthlessly for it, and so he could just tell.
He lit a cigarette as Lily strode over to set his drink before him. He stopped her with a touch to her fingers and gestured surreptitiously over his shoulder. “Just so you know, I tried to tell Sirius to be careful, y’know, in a place like this, but he wouldn’t listen.”
“A place like this?” Lily shot back, pulling her hand back out of James’ grip, and he thought he might have imagined the fact she lingered a little.
James chuckled and blew a neat plume of smoke to his right, wafting it back from Lily out of respect. “I mean, I know you ain’t keen on us. But Sirius is keen on Remus.” He took a sip of his drink and spared a glance away from the vista of Lily Evans to see his blood brother with an arm draped over the back of the booth, nodding enthusiastically to something Remus was saying. James had seldom seen him so happy.
“I can see that.” Lily seemed unimpressed though. “I just don’t want him to get hurt.”
“Sirius is a good man.” James took another drag of his cigarette and made sure to direct the smoke away from Lily again as she leant on the counter. “He won’t hurt your friend. I ain’t ever seen him look this happy, not since we were kids.”
Lily nodded slowly, twirling the ribbon at the neck of her blouse as she watched Sirius and Remus for a moment before looking back to James. “You’re both good men, are you? Good men that ended up in a greaser gang?”
James sighed and hooked a finger under the collar of his shirt to retrieve the dog tags he usually kept tucked there out of sight. He didn’t make a habit of talking about his service time, but he was damn near sure he would do anything - just short of throwing himself off a nearby cliff - to prove to this dame that he had no ill intentions. “Here.” He held the tags out, hooked between his thumb and forefinger so Lily could see them and the fact it was his name stamped into the metal. “We’re good men. Appearances can be deceivin’, I’m sure you know that.”
Lily make a noise of assent and gave him a brief look before she moved down the bar to collect money from an old, weathered looking man who hobbled past him moments later. James gave him a curt nod and a soft salute with his free hand. The man was obviously a veteran, and whilst James hated establishments of any kind, he had fountains of respect for those who had served before him.
He sipped his float as Lily nudged past her sister to stand back in front of him again. He smiled at her, as if he could do anything else. “You’ll give Sirius a chance? I don’t care if you don’t give me a chance, but Sirius deserves it.”
“And you don’t?” What looked like a smile ghosted across her glossy pink lips and James couldn’t help but chuckle.
“I don’t know. Do you think I do?”
Lily laughed and opened her mouth to say something before Alice bounced up next to James at the counter. She leant over and slapped a piece of copy paper onto the bar with a wide smile on her face.
“Lily, will you put this up in the window, please? Trying to get the word out. Did I tell you Frank managed to get a band sorted too?” Alice barely waited for Lily to hum an answer before flouncing over to Frank to fall into the seat next to him.
James leant over to peer at the paper and touched the corner of it to stop Lily drawing it away before he could read it. “What’s this?” He spun the paper around to see a brief advertisement.
Midsummer Dance
St. Godric’s Church Hall - Saturday 20 th June
7 ’til late!
He couldn’t help but grin, an eyebrow quirking in amusement. “A dance?”
Lily tugged the paper out from under his hand and stashed it under the counter. “Yes, next weekend. Frank finally managed to convince his father to let the school club have the church hall.”
“Mm, I see.” James peered around the bar, drank some more of his float and took a long drag on his cigarette. “You got a date for it?”
“No, I haven’t. Don’t want one either,” Lily shot back instantly. She snatched up the two shilling James had set down on the bar earlier and moved away. James grinned and stubbed out his cigarette into a nearby ashtray. He would definitely have to change her mind.
Sirius hadn’t expected his day to go like this.
Really, he hadn’t expected his whole life to take any of the turns it had done so far, but now he was sequestered in the booth of a little coffee bar in an otherwise dreary town with the most interesting masterpiece of humanity so tantalisingly close to being tucked under his arm, sharing a milkshake.
After their run-in with Lily that morning, Sirius decided he wouldn’t speak to Remus. It would be easier that way. He didn’t want to get involved with the Chief’s son - not with their track record, not with their antics involving the Eaters a few weeks ago just outside of Hogsmeade. So he would just stay away, he said to himself as they had stepped into the coffee bar earlier that day. He’d slid into a booth, watched James try to flirt with Lily, and sipped at his strawberry milkshake. He had made up his mind, really, and then Remus had stomped up to their table, all righteous indignation, and he’d been faced with turning away the sweetest boy he’d ever laid eyes on and quickly relented.
He and Remus had talked about nothing and everything, mostly sitting in a strangely comfortable silence, taking turns to drink from the glass between them. Sirius wondered if he were imagining how close Remus was getting to him, nudging nearer and nearer under the pretence of retrieving the last dregs of their milkshake from the glass.
“So you been here your whole life?” Sirius asked, delivering a cigarette to his mouth one-handed, because come hell or high water his other arm was not moving from the seat behind Remus’ shoulders. He struck the match one-handed too, and blew the smoke out the corner of his mouth as he looked to Remus for an answer, finding him watching avidly as Sirius threw the burnt match into the ashtray.
“No,” he said after a moment, his voice soft and mellifluous now the anger that tinged it earlier had faded away. The Chief was a risk Sirius was willing to take - the Marauders could handle a small-town Police Chief, especially if it meant Sirius could spend his afternoons in bliss like this. It had only taken a few minutes for Sirius to coax Remus back from the precipice of anger. He’d explained he didn’t want to get Remus in trouble - after all, hanging around with a greaser wouldn’t go down well. Remus had shaken his head and said he didn’t care, and that if Sirius wanted to hang around together then they could do that, consequences be damned. And so Sirius settled for sharing the milkshake between them with a nonchalance not mirrored in his heart.
Remus swirled his straw around the glass. “We moved around a lot when I was younger, with Da’s job. We’ve been settled here the longest. I’d quite like to stay.”
Sirius took another tidy drag on his cigarette and puffed the smoke out in neat smoke rings, delighting at the way Remus’ smile widened just a touch. “You want to stay in this place?”
Remus shrugged, the wool of his jumper brushing against Sirius’ chest through the thin fabric of his t-shirt and Sirius let a finger graze over the shoulder seam of Remus’ wonderfully yellow jumper. Sirius watched Remus’ gaze flicker to the black-tipped fingers tracing the fabric and his smile widen a fraction more. “Yeah, I like it here, the only place that’s ever felt like home… not much to do, though. A little boring, I guess.” He shifted a little and their thighs connected through Remus’ blue jean denim and the lean lines of Sirius’ black jeans. Remus gifted him with another smile, open and unguarded now. “And then you turned up.”
Sirius smiled, grinned even, flicked the ash from his cigarette and brought it to his mouth for another drag. Remus’ eyes followed every step of the way. “Then I turned up.”
A moment passed, shivered between them as Sirius traced the texture of Remus’ jumper at his shoulder with the lightest touch. Then Remus shifted forward to try and dredge up the last of the milkshake from the bottom of their glass, and Sirius at once felt the tables turn to watch his mouth on the straw. He shifted a little and looked away. It felt like the first time he had looked away from Remus since he had sat down, and he swiftly realised both James and Caradoc had made themselves scarce. James was across at the bar, trying and failing to get on Lily’s good side by the looks of it, seeing as he watched her move off towards the other end of the bar.
“Remus!” The call made Remus jump beside him and Sirius had to swallow back a chuckle. Both of them had been so caught up in each other, hadn’t they? How long had they even sat there, just talking and listening and existing in pleasant company, unaware of everything else? Sirius was half surprised it wasn’t dusk already.
“Yeah?” Remus called back, and Sirius quickly spotted Lily by the telephone in the corner, one hand over the receiver.
“Your mum says you need to come back home. She needs some help around the greenhouses apparently.”
Sirius tried not to think about how his stomach plummeted - he didn’t want Remus to leave, not yet, not when they were inching closer and closer and the blush across his cheeks looked so sweet.
“Alright,” Remus called back. “Tell her I’ll be five minutes.”
Sirius heard Lily’s answer, then the roar of the coffee bar seemed to come back alive as if someone had flipped a switch and he remembered the world would carry on outside of mustard jumpers and flushed cheeks and those well-deep brown eyes he wanted to sink right into. Remus eased out of the booth with an apologetic glance in his direction and Sirius followed him like there was a cord around his middle tugging him right along too.
Remus smiled softly at him. “Thank you for a lovely afternoon, Sirius.”
Sirius smiled back and shrugged one shoulder in feigned nonchalance. “You’re welcome, doll. I’ll walk you back again?”
A frown flickered across Remus’ features. “Better not, Ma’ll be keeping an eye out for me.”
“Sure, that makes sense.”
James appeared at his side, a knowing, confident smile on his face. “C’mon, Sirius, we should go and see the mechanic now you’re done courting.”
“Oh, can it,” Sirius shot back, cuffing James around the back of the head. He looked swiftly to Remus, who just blushed beautifully and smiled at both of them. “We’ll come out with you at least then.”
Before Remus could say otherwise, Sirius snatched his jacket from the back of the booth, fished in his pocket for a few shillings to drop onto the counter and followed James and Remus out of the coffee bar. He wondered idly if his initial judgement of Godric’s Hollow might’ve changed now he had spent an afternoon with Remus, with real conversation and a strange heat blooming in his chest at the idea of doing the same again tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. Remus started down the path, hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans, and got a few steps away before he paused and turned back to Sirius, looking more than a little awkward now they were out of their booth, with James at his side and the early afternoon sun beating down. “Bye, Sirius.”
Sirius shifted on the spot and smiled as Remus looked up, raising a hand to wave at him. “Later, doll.”
He didn’t even pretend not to watch Remus as the boy walked down the path between the houses back towards his own, remembering the path they traced the night before under lamplight and the muzzy covering of beer. After a moment, Remus still at the other end of the alley, James nudged Sirius in the ribs and tipped his chin towards an advertisement in the window. He read it quickly as a grin blossomed across his face. “Remus!” He waited for him to pause and turn back. “Next weekend, go to the dance with me?”
Remus laughed, but he was too far away for Sirius to see if it was forced or not. “I’m going with Lily already!” With that, he turned and stepped out of sight, obscured by overly manicured hedges and quaint little brick walls.
Sirius huffed out a sigh.
James scuffed his boot against the steps of the coffee bar. “And she said she didn’t have a date!”
Two days later found Sirius back at Evans’s, staring out of the window like a sailor keeping watch for a lighthouse. He didn’t like to think of himself as particularly beholden to his feelings - his childhood didn’t leave room for it - but here he was, feeling things. It was a beautiful afternoon, the sun was beating down through the glass and after a moment Sirius tilted his head up towards it, sighing softly. Here he was, feeling things. He turned to glance around the room - the same kids were still here, day in, day out - this really must be the only place to hang out around in Godric’s Hollow. But there was one person missing from the group, and it almost stung.
Remus hadn’t been around all of yesterday - Sirius had not spent the whole day on tenterhooks looking for him, only half distracted by card games in the sun and going to speak to the mechanic, all avoiding Lily as she’d threatened to really batter James if he asked her to the dance one more time - and Sirius had written it off as him being busy. But it was day two of Time Without Remus and there was no sign of him still. Had Sirius made a huge mistake asking him to the dance? Had he read the situation wrong and Remus wasn’t like that at all? Even with the way he smiled so sweet when Sirius had kissed his hand? He was usually quite good at picking up things like that.
But was Remus avoiding him now? Ugh, feeling things. Sirius did not like it at all, but here he was, thinking of Remus. Sirius slid out of his seat and strode up to James at the bar.
He wouldn’t have been sure James had left last night if he hadn’t walked out with him - he was in the same seat, staring at Lily Evans with the same fervour in his eyes as the day before. Sirius clapped him on the upper arm. “What’s the story?”
James shrugged and took a drag of his cigarette. “I’ve asked four times already today, practically begged with the last one, but she still says no.”
Sirius laughed and rubbed a hand over James’ shoulder. “Bad luck, brother.”
James looked at him pitifully, wide eyed and tired - he had probably stayed up all night plotting various ways to ask Red to the dance. With a conciliatory smile, Sirius stepped around the bar towards the bathrooms and the kitchen door. He timed it perfectly, catching Lily as she came back out of the kitchen with an empty tray. He grabbed her arm but quickly dropped it as she jerked in surprise and tensed as if she might hit him. Sirius grinned and held his hands up in surrender.
“Oh, hell. Sorry, I thought you were James again, asking me to the bloody dance.” Lily pushed the bulk of her ponytail from her shoulder and tucked the empty tray under her arm.
“Would that be so bad?” Sirius asked through a chuckle, laughter only growing off of Lily’s dark look in response. He laughed for a moment longer before it slipped away on a sigh. “Hey… do you know where Remus is?”
Lily shrugged and slipped past him to step behind the counter. “He’s probably just busy.” She picked up a tray full of dirty glasses and dumped them in the sink as Sirius leant on the counter to watch. “Some of us have jobs, you know.”
Sirius laughed. Once he actually spoke to the redhead, she was somewhat fun, and fiery enough to keep James on his toes if she ever deigned to gift him with the time of day. “Does Remus work?”
“He sometimes helps his mum out. She owns a plant nursery and greenhouses.” Lily looked as if she were under some kind of torture, gritting her teeth and only doling out the smallest bits of information she could get away with, knuckles white on the side of the counter.
Sirius sighed, hopped onto a stool and ignored the fact James was at the other end of the bar probably glaring daggers. He and James were the only ones out of the Marauders spending the day in Godric’s Hollow after all. The rest of the gang had gone into Hogsmeade - Marlene and Dorcas for outfits for the dance, the others just to get the hell out of Nowheresville for the day according to Bones - but James and Sirius had stuck around to pursue their paramours apparently.
“Huh, guess I can’t just turn up at the Police Chief’s door?” Sirius quipped. Lily scoffed and set about washing the glasses in front of her. Sirius lit a cigarette and took a draw. “I know you don’t like me, Red, but I really like Remus. I like spendin’ time with him.”
Lily peered at him for a long moment before reaching over the sink to grab a towel and dry her hands. “You really like him?”
Sirius nodded and took another, longer pull of his cigarette. Damn, he really did, didn’t he? It had been precisely four days and Sirius was head over heels sweet for the shy boy with the deepest eyes. “Yes. I wanna take him to the dance.”
Lily sighed and pursed her lips. “Okay, listen, you don’t tell anyone and you don’t treat him any different, okay?” Sirius nodded, leaning forward, suddenly interested. “He gets sick sometimes, like a real bad flu for a few days. Some lifelong problem. So he’s probably in bed right now, resting.”
Sirius nodded, but he was a little perplexed. Why would he treat Remus differently for that? Everyone got sick, didn’t they? “Okay, then. I’m gonna go see him.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I don’t care if you do or not, I’m gonna see him.” Sirius sprang back out of the redhead’s reach as she went to grab his arm and turned towards the door, ignoring the sounds of Lily shouting after him.
“Distract her, James!” Sirius called as he all but ran out of the room, down the steps and towards the alleyway Remus walked down two days earlier.
“Sirius!” Lily’s voice from the entrance of the coffee bar. He paused and turned back to see her with a strange, conflicted expression on her face. “His dad is usually out at work - the driveway should be empty. His mum’s greenhouses are in the fields at the back. Remus’ room looks out onto the road at the front.”
Sirius smiled. “Thank you, Red.” He waited until she turned to go before calling back. “You should give James a chance!”
He started down the alley before he had a chance to see Lily react and hurried along the path, stubbing out his cigarette once it was through and not bothering to light another.
He wondered for a second whether he should do this right - go to the door and introduce himself and say he was a friend of Remus’, ask to see him in his politest voice. But then, the Marauders had seen firsthand the town was full of judgemental idiots and it was likely Remus’ parents were the same, especially if his father was the Police Chief. Sirius retraced his steps from two nights ago, remembering the grin that bloomed across Remus’ face when he kissed his hand - so sweet, so damn sweet - and turned up the driveway to the Police House.
We’re good men.
You should give James a chance.
And you don’t?
You got a date for it?
Lily thought she was liable to scrub right through the painted top of the counter if she didn’t back off, but everything was whirring around in her head. She kept looking up at James Potter - she had noted his last name from his dog tags - and finding her heart racing instead of plummeting to her stomach and that was not on.
It was late afternoon, the usual quiet lull of a weekday, and after some of the greasers reappeared from out of town - Marlene and Dorcas, Bones and one of the twins - they and the Hollow teens had pushed a cluster of tables aside near the jukebox to dance in the relative cool air of the room.
James was currently stood with Frank and Alice, teaching them both how to jive properly. Instead of getting angry or frustrated or acting like he was above them all when Alice stepped wrong and stood on his foot instead, like Lily expected from his kind, he just laughed and showed her the step a fraction slower.
She thought of Sirius, the earnest expression that had spread across his face when Lily explained Remus was ill, the look of thanks that followed when she ran to the doorway - ignoring James’ protestations - and gave her blessing in twice as many words.
Perhaps not every greaser was like the Eaters that ran through town every so often. It was proof already that James’ gang had been in town for a few days and instead of running riot, damaging property and cleaning out the till of the coffee bar when left unattended for a mere second, they had stayed and made friends. Lily just couldn’t shake the thought of how thoroughly content Remus looked two days ago, sharing a milkshake with Sirius and smiling like Lily hadn’t ever seen before.
She really hoped that Sirius wouldn’t hurt Remus, that they wouldn’t turn out to be as bad as the Eaters after all, and like usual, the Hollow wouldn’t be left to pick up the pieces. Lily poured herself a glass of water and leant against the counter, watching Dorcas and James teach Frank and Alice every step of the way, laughing and joking.
James looked wonderful when he smiled. All the fronts of his ‘look’ - his leather jacket, the arrogant way he swiped a hand through his hair, how he straightened the collar of his shirt every time he caught sight of his reflection (bloody often) - seemed to fade away when he was laughing and smiling. He had been in the Army too, hadn’t he? They had their tags confiscated if they were discharged dishonourably, and that wasn’t the case if James still had his.
Lily hadn’t missed the sharp salute he gave Mr. Moody when he left the coffee bar the other day either. Lily sighed and skirted around to ease herself onto a stool next to Mary. She noted the scarf tied in her hair, tighter than usual, neater at the back, and remembered Marlene showing her how to do so that first night on the village green.
Mary smiled, her sharp blue eyes flickering between the dancing pair and Lily watching shrewdly. “Remus is still your date for the dance?”
Lily nodded and sipped her water. “Only as friends. We thought it was best.” And it meant she didn’t have to field questions from anyone else - in theory. James hadn’t gotten that memo.
“Oh really?” Mary smiled impishly. “I saw him and Sirius the other day.”
“Mhmm,” Lily shot back, eagerly searching for something to change the subject with. “Who are you going with?”
“Peter finally asked me,” Mary said with a soft, shy smile.
“He did?” Lily grasped her friend’s hand in excitement. “That’s great. You’ll have to match colours, you know!”
“I know! I’m thinking blue…” Mary sighed happily and turned to watch the group still dancing, the four of them now near crying with laughter, James and Dorcas still trying to demonstrate.
After a moment, Marlene stepped up and tapped James on the shoulder. “I’m better at leading Dorcas than you are, she’s more used to my hips-” that earned a laugh from the group and Lily marvelled at how brazen the two women were- “so step aside, square.”
James laughed and held both hands up, graciously stepping aside to let Marlene and Dorcas demonstrate an undoubtedly flawless jive to Frank and Alice. James looked on with fondness so clearly etched into his features, and a smile that only widened once his hazel eyes flickered up to meet Lily’s green ones across the room.
Lily wondered what he would look like wearing a green tie to match her dress.
Chapter Text
Remus felt awful.
He wasn’t sure what had caused this flare up. It could’ve been any manner of things or nothing at all, but the one thing he knew for certain was that he felt awful. His fever was raging, his joints were aching with a fiery vengeance, and the water jug by his bed was empty. He was thirsty as all hell, but hadn’t the energy to get out of bed - story of his life.
As it was, he was sat up in bed, smothered in blankets, propped against pillows, with Mansfield Park splayed on his lap, but it had lain untouched for the past few hours. The radio was playing at the bottom of the stairs, just filtering up with enough white noise to stop Remus from going mad, but not quite loud enough to hear the music properly. His mum must’ve left it on when she went out to the greenhouses. She was probably feeling guilty about overexerting him the previous afternoon when he was helping her replant the marrows, but Remus doubted it was just that one moment that had him in his current predicament.
He was just wondering whether or not to try and sleep a little more when he heard a tap on the glass beside him. Usually glad for the window next to his bed, as it gave him a wonderful view when he was stuck there, Remus sighed softly. If it were Sev or any of the younger kids on the estate playing games, he would not be pleased. He resigned to ignore it, making an attempt to pick up his book again until another ting sounded from just beside him. With a grunt of pain, Remus shifted forward onto his knees - they screamed in protest - and peered out of the window ready to give hell to the little ankle-biter from around the corner.
Instead he was met with a sight for sore eyes - Sirius with a maddening grin plastered on his face, raising a hand to wave right up at Remus. Remus gaped for a moment, his heart hammering and hammering but blooming at the same time and trying to rise up out of his throat and he completely forgot about his knees screaming.
“Sirius, what are you doing?” Remus asked as he pulled open the window, hiding a grimace of pain now he was up and moving.
Sirius shrugged - the sun has nothing on his smile, Remus thought - and stepped a little closer to the house. “Thought I’d come and see how you were. You left me hangin’ the other day.”
“Yeah… sorry, I’m not feeling well,” Remus said, swallowing down a wave of guilt.
“I know, I’m gonna come sit with you.”
Remus sat back on his heels and closed his eyes briefly. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate Sirius coming to see him, really. In fact, nothing could be better if he were feeling up to it - Sirius in his room, sitting with him, keeping him company beside the white noise of the radio. But he wasn’t much fun to be around like this, fever throwing him in and out of consciousness, feeling grubby and sweaty and grimacing like an old man every time he tried to so much as roll over.
“I’m not much fun right now,” Remus tried, kneeling back up to see Sirius still staring up at the window earnestly. Remus thought for a moment that he was on a balcony, and whether Sirius knew any Shakespeare and if he might ask if a rose by any other name still smelled as sweet. The thought made him feel a little queasy - he probably would’ve teased Alice for saying something similar about Frank - but he smiled nonetheless as Sirius shrugged.
“I don’t care,” Sirius shot back, a defiant quirk in his eyebrow that Remus felt his heart leap in joy for. He had dreamed of Sirius last night too, or maybe this morning halfway between waking and fever-restless sleep, about sitting on the village green, enveloped in cigarette smoke with those quicksilver eyes all over him. He dreamed of dancing under the wan lamplight to Jerry Lee Lewis, jivin’ and rockin’ until the radio played a slow song and Sirius drew him closer.
Remus smiled, maybe his first real smile since he had left the coffee bar the two days ago, and went to climb off the bed. “Okay, hold on, I’ll come and open the door.”
“No you won’t,” Sirius replied instantly, crossing over to beneath his window. “You stay there, you’re ill. I’ll come up.” Remus watched in amazement as Sirius hopped onto the bin beneath the window, pressed his foot into the drainpipe and pulled himself onto Remus’ windowsill.
Remus stepped back as Sirius swung his legs into the room. The other boy paused for a moment and tugged off his heavy black boots - muttering something about them being dirty - and leaving them on the ledge, before gingerly sliding off the sill and onto the foot of the bed. Remus’ bed, his bed. Sirius was on his bed. Maybe even in his bed.
Remus sat back, suddenly conscious of being in his pyjamas, of his hair being unwashed, his room being messy and still kind of juvenile and the cinema advertisement for a James Dean film that he had in the corner. “You looked like you’ve done that a lot.” Remus tipped his chin towards the window, still in awe of the ease with which Sirius carried himself.
Sirius just grinned. “Yours is the best window I’ve climbed into, by far doll.”
Remus couldn’t help the smile across his lips as he sank back into the bed, wracking his brain for something to say but nothing came. He was just giddy that Sirius was here, in his room, sat at the end of his bed, smiling at him like that. “Thank you for coming to see me,” was all he could muster.
Sirius nodded, eyebrows pinched together in a molasses-slow gesture of thoughtfulness that suited him, at odds to the usual live-wired expressions that Remus felt he could draw on from memory now despite it only being a handful of days since they had first locked eyes. “Well, I wanted to make sure you were alright… missed you at the coffee bar yesterday.”
Remus flushed, ducking his head towards the blankets, and felt his smile stutter into a grin. “I missed you too.” The room seemed to spin with his fever and the aches shot through his bones. He hid a grimace. “That sounds a bit stupid, doesn’t it?”
Sirius laughed, star-bright like his namesake, his head thrown back up to the stucco ceiling. “I don’t think it’s stupid at all. I think it’s wonderful.”
Remus flushed more than he thought possible, smiling despite the rampant aches. “Me too, then, if you do.”
“I do,” Sirius retorted, leaning back on his elbows and directing his brilliant smile towards Remus again. Remus wanted to curl up into the warmth of him, remembering how easy Sirius’ arm felt around his shoulder in the booth, how close their faces had gotten when they shared Sirius’ strawberry milkshake, how he’d laughed and blushed at the dab of milkshake that caught at the corner of his mouth that Sirius brushed away with his thumb.
Remus let out a long breath. He wondered whether Sirius really had been joking when he’d asked him to the Midsummer Dance. Boys didn’t ask other boys to the dances - boys didn’t even dance with each other - and boys didn’t share milkshakes and lose themselves in each others company for hours. But then, Remus reckoned most boys weren’t Marlon-over-Marilyn kinds of boys, and they didn’t kiss other boys on the hand or offer to walk them home or dream of other boys or climb to their window when they were ill or confess that they had missed each other after only two days apart.
They were the kind of things couples did, girls and guys going steady like Frank and Alice or Vernon and Petunia, not Marlon-over-Marilyn Remus and the mysteriously alluring greaser from out of town with the starlit grin to match his name.
Sirius seemed content enough to sit in the quiet, Remus thought, as he realised he’d been thinking a little too much and hadn’t said anything further. He blinked to see Sirius sitting at the other end of the bed, studying the James Dean advert with a wry grin. Remus sighed softly and reached for his water glass, groaning when it was still empty and he still couldn’t bring himself to move. But his throat was dry enough already without Sirius burning him up like the sun just with a look.
Remus sat up and pushed the covers back off his legs with a soft hiss of pain.
“Hey, hey,” Sirius was there in an instant, pressing a hand to his knee to urge him to sit back down. He smiled so kindly that Remus sank back, half in shock. “I’ll get that. You’re sick. Rest.” Slightly disbelieving, Remus nodded weakly and let Sirius lean over to snatch up the water jug, watching him disappear through the door a second later.
He wasn’t sure if it were seconds or hours later when Sirius returned - it had probably only been two minutes at the most - clutching the water jug in one hand and a wet flannel in the other. He gestured slightly with the flannel. “Found this too, you felt like you’re burning up.” Sirius set the water jug back down after pouring a glass, and held the latter out to him.
Remus frowned a little, unsure what to do with Sirius being so caring, not to mention sitting on the edge of the bed with his thigh so close to Remus’, heating through the blankets as if they weren’t even there, quicksilver eyes so earnest.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Sirius said, pressing the glass into Remus’ hand to urge him to drink it. “Greasers get sick too, you know. James had the flu winter just gone and he was bedridden for weeks.” Sirius chuckled and took the glass to set it down after Remus had drank it all in one fell swoop through a burgeoning smile. “It’s a good job he’s basically my brother or I’d never be able to look at him again.”
Remus blinked. Sirius was shifting in and out of focus, looking like he was made entirely of starlight, the hazy yellowed light of the sunset over the village green, strolling into Remus’ life to upend it entirely, swirling in cigarette smoke to teach Remus the meaning of the word queer. He sank back into the pillows as Sirius laid the cool flannel against his forehead, his eyes fluttering shut.
“See, ‘m not much fun right now,” Remus managed to croak out, his hand going to Sirius’ forearm. He felt so cool and reassuring and safe.
Sirius chuckled. Remus felt the weight of the bed shifting beneath him but he didn’t bother to open his eyes. “It’s alright, this is plenty fun just sittin’ with ya’ - you just rest up, doll.”
It was late evening when Sirius finally slipped back out of Remus’ window, boots and jacket shoved back on in the relative quiet of the house. Remus had fallen asleep a while earlier, drifting in and out of consciousness and apologising every time he came to again. Sirius kept the cloth on Remus’ forehead cool, remembering sitting in vigil by James’ bed months before, doling out medicine and only half sleeping himself. Only with James, his heart didn’t ache the way it did when he looked at Remus. Not in the same way anyway, not with the same fierce intensity that clenched around his throat and pulled all the breath out of his body like a silver string through his lips. He’d wanted to stay, to sit by his bed all night, but Remus had refused. After all, neither of his parents knew Sirius was up in his room, and they were bound to come upstairs to check on him eventually.
“I’ll come back tomorrow, doll, don’t worry,” Sirius had muttered to Remus’ half asleep form, gingerly touching the wave of sweat-damp hair over his forehead, before he ducked out of the window and landed on the driveway in a thud.
He ignored the lurid grins of his blood brothers and sisters when he appeared back at McGonagall’s B&B, and promptly punched Fabian in the gut for his suggestion that he had finally got his end away. Not even the tussle that followed, in the B&B garden where the Marauders were currently congregated, could do much to abate the grin on his face.
They spent the evening in that garden, playing cards and talking, whiling away the time like they did every day, comfortable and cosy. Only Sirius found that he was wishing to be on the village green instead, with Remus in his mustard jumper, under the lamplight only he could make look alluring.
Sirius slept fitfully, wondering how he was going to ask Remus to the Midsummer Dance again. Perhaps Remus had just thought he was joking, because after all, boys didn’t ask other boys to dances, at least not in Godric’s Hollow. Besides, if he asked Remus, then Lily would need a date, and James could try again - although, to Sirius’ knowledge, he hadn’t stopped asking all day.
When the Marauders strolled into Evans’s at lunchtime, other business already taken care of - James’ bike would be fixed just after the dance in a fit of auspicious timing - Sirius made a beeline for Lily behind the counter.
“I just need her for one thing, James,” he muttered off of James’ dark look as they walked in. He slung an arm around his best mate’s shoulders and squeezed. “Just give me a minute to see if I can swing her around to your way of thinking, alright?”
James relented and nudged into a booth with the rest of the gang as Sirius went to the counter and caught Lily’s attention. “You got anything I can take food away in? Like… soup or something?”
Lily’s green eyes burned into him for what felt like the longest time. Sirius stared back, chin tilted up, so unaccustomed to baring himself like this, asking for something from another person. As if she knew that, Lily narrowed her eyes and watched as if she were a bird of prey, waiting for Sirius to scurry out from under a log. When he didn’t flinch, she set her dishcloth down and raised an eyebrow. “Soup. For Remus by any chance?”
Sirius couldn’t fight the blush that settled over the bridge of his nose. “Yes. Hoping the fever’s broke.”
The redhead’s lips bloomed into a grin as she nodded and stepped away, presumably to find something to help him out. Sirius leant against the bar and studied his nails to ignore the strange flash of self-consciousness that had ran over him - he’d need to borrow Marlene’s nail polish before the dance. He idly wondered what he would wear - would he and Remus need to match somehow? - before he decided he would probably just wear a white button-up beneath his leather jacket. Presuming, of course, that Remus actually agreed to go to the dance with him. It seemed equally likely that he would refuse. James, on the other hand, was probably planning a full three-piece suit, or it wouldn’t have surprised Sirius in the slightest if he’d unearthed his Army uniform from somewhere and tried to comb his hair flat if it meant Lily would walk into the room on his arm.
Speak of the devil, James was watching Lily with a grin from the other side of the coffee bar, half-listening as Caradoc was telling a joke. The redhead moved back along behind the counter and held a paper bag out for Sirius.
“Leek and potato,” she supplied, fastidiously ignoring the rest of the coffee bar - James’ grin was probably impossible to miss.
“Thank you, Red.” Sirius took the bag with one hand and dug in his pocket for the appropriate change to pass to Lily with the other. When he dropped the handful of shillings in her hand, he caught her fingers for a moment. “James has been up all night trying to think of ways to ask you to this dance, you know.” Lily immediately drew her hand back and stared resolutely at the counter between them. “He comes off as a bit of an arsehole, but he’s a good man.”
Lily just nodded and stepped back towards the sink. “Tell Remus I said hello, I hope he feels better soon.”
Sirius gestured with the bag. “I will. I’m sure this’ll help.”
He walked around to the Lupin’s house in a daze, clutching the paper bag carefully in one hand. He noted there was thankfully still no car in the driveway as he swept up a stone from his feet and threw it lightly at Remus’ window. His reaction was quicker that afternoon - he must’ve been feeling better - and Sirius couldn’t help but grin at the sight of him, hair all mussed from bed, eyes bright and fevered. Before he could open his mouth in a greeting, Remus pressed a finger to his lips to shush him before waving him up quickly. The top of the paper bag held in his mouth, Sirius climbed up onto the bin and onto Remus’ windowsill. Quite proud of his own agility, Sirius swung his legs inside and set the paper bag next to him.
“Sorry,” Remus said once he was there, “Mum is downstairs. But she’ll be going out in a second.”
Sirius nodded. “It’s okay… how are you feeling?” He felt a rush of concern at the sheen of sweat that clung to the high points of Remus’ face as he toed off his boots and set them on the sill just like yesterday.
“Okay, better than yesterday. I’m sorry I kept falling asleep. We didn’t say goodbye properly.” Remus sank back onto the bed as Sirius did, setting the paper bag carefully next to him. Sirius tugged the blankets back over Remus’ feet.
“I’d rather let you sleep, doll. Don’t worry about it.” Sirius smiled earnestly and loved the way a smile grew over Remus’ face too. “I bought ya’ soup, too. Wasn’t sure if you’d eaten anything.”
Remus bit his lip, eyes widening slightly as Sirius dug the soup container and spoon from the paper bag. “You didn’t have to do that Sirius.”
Sirius shrugged. “I know, but I wasn’t sure.” He shifted forward, realising that Remus’ parents probably looked after him when he was sick, probably brought him soup and tucked him in, but Sirius didn’t have that. He had never gotten that kind of affection from his parents, not until he’d lived with James’ parents for those brief two months before they were conscripted. Then the war changed them both and now he and James didn’t have anyone to answer to. That was the best way for it. He almost felt embarrassed for a moment, his idea of a thoughtful gesture falling apart because of course Remus had someone to bring him soup - he wasn’t the one in an outlaw motorcycle gang.
Remus leant forward to take Sirius’ hand and smiled as if Sirius had just handed him the world. The embarrassment filtered away. “Thank you, Sirius. That’s really nice of you.”
“You’re welcome, really.” Sirius held the container out and moved forward to help when he noticed the tremors in Remus’ fingers. He shifted a little, biting his lip before he said, “Mind if I come and sit next to you?”
“Yeah, yes… okay.” Remus nudged over a little to make room for Sirius to sit back against the pillows with him. Sirius stretched out, legs a little longer than Remus’, shoulders a little broader so they had to press close to fit on the bed together, but Sirius didn’t mind - he loved it, in fact. Sirius pulled the top off the soup and held it out for Remus, watching as he rested it on his lap and started slowly eating.
“You seem better today,” Sirius murmured, eyes flickering sideways to watch Remus in wonderful profile, afternoon light playing through his window.
Remus nodded between mouthfuls of soup. “I feel better. Thank you for yesterday. You really helped.”
Sirius smiled and shrugged his shoulder. “You don’t need to thank me. I’m happy to do it, so long as you feel better, doll.”
The radio flickered with a bout of white noise at the bottom of the stairs, cut through by a door closing. Remus seemed to relax a little, and sank back into the headboard. Sirius watched him avidly, so aware he was staring and trying desperately not to, but he couldn’t look away. Even ill - the ruddy flush of his cheeks such a bright red against the pallor of the rest of his skin, eyes feverish, russet hair sweat-damp and ruffled - Remus looked angelic, like the sweetest sight Sirius had ever seen.
“Well, I do. I feel better with you here, so long as you don’t mind me being poor company.”
Sirius rolled his eyes and smiled, nudging his shoulder into Remus’ and nearly flying in happiness at the soft grin he was awarded in return. “You ain’t poor company, shut your trap. I’m happy here.”
Remus nodded after a moment, his brown eyes flickering over Sirius’ face as if searching for any trace of insincerity. He would find none.
Sirius had always hated the idea of settling down, of being in one place longer than necessary, of being trapped, stuck, moored. But here, he wouldn’t mind it so much, he could stay with Remus, in dreary old Godric’s Hollow, with mustard jumpers and eyes the colour of fertile soil and the wan lamplight of the village green. Struck with the desire to convey that idea to Remus, the shocking newness of it that rioted through his insides like a lighting bolt, Sirius shifted and laid his arm against the headboard, not quite around Remus’ shoulders but a facsimile, an open question laid into the air between them.
Sirius tried to look nonplussed, until a shy grin bloomed across Remus’ face as he swallowed a spoonful of soup. He gave in, quirking an eyebrow, his voice coming out a little softer, more shy, more uncertain, than he intended. “Is this alright?”
Remus’ smile widened as he set the now empty container aside, the spoon clattering through the tension Sirius felt swirling around him. “Yeah, more than alright, yeah.”
Sirius let out a relieved sigh and let his head drop back against the wall, smiling ear to ear. “Did you go to school here?”
Remus nodded, shifting into the covers and nudging closer to Sirius. He felt the warmth of the other boy against him even through his jacket. Sirius turned slightly, almost pressing a kiss to the tangle of Remus’ curls. “Yeah, for the last few years. We moved a lot, with Da’s job. It was strange at first, you know, being the Chief’s son, but everyone is nice.”
“Mhmm.” Sirius stared at the James Dean poster on the opposite wall, almost terrified to look down at Remus, to see that smile shining up at him, the wide-open plains of his eyes. “Oh, Lily said to tell you hello. She hopes you’re feeling better.”
Remus chuckled. “She’s a good friend. She’s so lovely to everyone.”
“Is she?” Sirius looked back at Remus incredulously. “She’s ready to string James up by his guts if he asks her to the dance one more time.”
Remus laughed. “We’re going together. We did last year too. It’s easier, you know, just to go as friends.”
“Oh? Then James and I will have to go together as friends then, and I’ll have to steal you away so he can try to dance with her.” Sirius wanted to shake his shoulders and say you dolt, I want to go to the dance with you, I want to dance with you and sit with you next to me, have your hand in mine, kiss you at the end of the night, sweep you off your bloody feet, say yes, go with me. But clearly, it wasn’t the done thing in Godric’s Hollow, and if Remus was already going with Lily, he didn’t want to push it, especially if he were ill. He could convince him when he was better, perhaps.
Remus laughed, and Sirius wondered whether the blush atop his cheeks was his doing, or whether the fever was still raging. “Perhaps. He really likes her?”
“Pft, yeah-” Sirius affected James’ voice with the startling accuracy that came with over a decade of friendship- “she’s a knock-out, Sirius, I’m head over heels, I’m a goner, she’s so beautiful.”
Remus laughed, properly threw his head back and laughed and it made Sirius’ heart practically leap from his throat, the corners of his eyes crinkling with joy. “That’s a good impression.”
Off the look in his eyes, the wonderful sparks of joy that rang through those eyes, the smile on his chapped pink lips, Sirius slid his arm from the headboard and moved it gently around Remus’ shoulders, light enough that he could move, if he wanted to. But Remus didn’t. He sank back into Sirius’ arms, fitting under his shoulder like the pieces of a puzzle. Sirius turned and pressed his lips into the wild reddy-brown of his hair. Remus sank even further, his head dropping back onto Sirius’ upper arm as he smiled with such a frightening warmth that Sirius felt as if he might burn up at that very moment.
Remus tilted his head to the side, letting out a breath that pulled all the tension from his body. Sirius settled, his cheek leaning ever so lightly against the top of Remus’ head, and wondered if he had ever been this content before in his whole damn life. Remus lifted a finger to trace the chain of the dog tags around Sirius’ neck. “You’ve got two sets…”
Sirius made a noise of assent, fingers circling Remus’ shoulder over top of his pyjama shirt. “Mhmm, mine, and my brothers.”
“Brother?” Remus lifted his head a little to look up at Sirius, a shot of mild surprise wandering through his eyes, and Sirius thought he might’ve leant down to kiss him at the closeness, if they weren’t talking of such heavy subject matter.
“Yeah, Regulus.” Sirius let out a breath through his nose and shifted a little to look out the window. It still hurt to remember him, the way it all went wrong. “I ran away from a bad home, nearly three years ago. I was 17. Left my younger brother behind, he didn’t want to leave. James and I got conscripted when we turned 18, managed to get in the same regiment by some wild stroke of luck.”
Remus hummed softly to show he was listening, but didn’t say anything else, his wide eyes just watching Sirius so carefully as if he had never seen another soul bared before.
“I found out later than Reg had lied about his age to join the Army and try to make a difference. He was sixteen. After they found him, you know - I asked for his tags. My mother didn’t want them, she was furious he’d lied and gone off, not stayed and done what the family wanted. She thought she would have one son who did the right thing.”
“I’m so sorry, Sirius.” Remus turned to face him properly, one hand going to Sirius’ knee to support him as he did. “That’s awful…”
“Yeah.” Sirius shook his head to try and banish the sounds of distant gunfire, the peeling way the world fell from around him when he’d received the news from his Sergeant, the cold stare of his mother when he returned home to pay his respects and take the part of his brother he was allowed, now strung together on the same chain, the two of them joined in a way they could never really figure out in life. He shouldn’t have brought it up, shouldn’t have said anything, should’ve just waved the question away with some false inanities, but he couldn’t stop himself. The truth just kept tumbling out of his mouth, and it absolutely still hurt. Godric’s Hollow clearly hadn’t been touched by much of the war, apart from the obvious veteran in the corner of the coffee bar, and yet here was Sirius talking about battlefields and death to the sweetest boy he knew, staring wide-eyed at him as seeing the very horrors of the war.
Hating himself, Sirius drew away from Remus then, shifting his arm and trying not to see the vulnerable look in the boy’s eyes. “Hey, I just remembered, I need to go and sort something out with James’ bike… So I gotta run… I’ll come back tomorrow?”
Sirius grabbed his boots from the sill and shoved them on, already climbing out the frame by the time Remus replied.
“Sirius, I- Okay, see you tomorrow…”
Sirius climbed down the drainpipe, landed on the drive and shoved his hands deep into his pockets. What was he expecting? That he would be able to just live some perfect little life with a white picket fence and dear sweet Remus in the garden basking under the setting sun? He wasn’t made for that, and he knew it.
“Maybe I could hire a horse?”
“Where in the hell would you get a horse, Potter? Don’t be stupid. Girls like flowers and chocolates and declarations of love. I should know.”
“Like hell, Dorcas. Marlene barely counts as a girl some days.”
“Oi!”
James sputtered in protest as Marlene launched a shoe at him, ducking his head to ensure it caught him on the arm instead of his glasses - Marlene always had wicked aim. “Well, look, chocolates and flowers ain’t working. She still hates me.” He rolled onto his back to watch the clouds roll by in the garden of McGonagall’s B&B. The sun was setting, and the coffee bar was full of adults and parents and didn’t seem so much of a haven when all eyes on them were distrusting and judgemental, instead of the strange mix of wary and awestruck that they received from the teenagers. Besides, James needed a moment to think clearly without the presence of Lily Evans hanging over him like some wonderful and lovely cloud, blocking out all of his usual wit and charm and turning him into a blithering idiot.
“Maybe if you tried talking to her like an actual person instead of something to be won over, Potter?” Caradoc tried, idly dealing a game of blackjack between himself and the twins.
“Pft, like you’re the expert on women, Dearborn, when was the last time you got your leg over?” Fabian shot back through a pull of his cigarette.
Caradoc responded with a sharp punch to his arm. “Wouldn’t you like to know, you pervert.”
James sighed and sat up to look around the group. Sirius still wasn’t back from visiting Remus. He seemed utterly head over heels for the kid, and James couldn’t be happier for him, if only it didn’t seem like it would be such an uphill struggle. What did he expect? For Remus to join him on the bike once James’ was repaired, a leather jacket of his own, cigarette behind his ear, as they set out for the countryside again? Or even worse - James shivered at the thought - for Sirius to settle down in Godric’s Hollow and start wearing jumpers and worrying about the state of his begonias? James shook his head to dispel the awful notion and lit a cigarette, a moment before the gate of the garden swung open.
“There he is, the prodigal son returns from his conquests,” Gideon quipped through a peal of laughter.
Sirius rolled his eyes. “Shut up Prewett. I’m going to bed.”
“It’s still light out, Sirius. You alright?” Marlene stopped Sirius with a touch to his arm.
“Yeah, yeah, fine. Just tired.” Sirius waved them off and started in towards their rooms.
“Probably shagged out,” Fabian said, nudging his twin in the ribs as they both chuckled.
To James’ surprise, Sirius didn’t respond, just ducked inside. James frowned and gathered himself up. Usually Sirius was the first to respond with a well-placed barb, or else just smack either of the twins around the back of the head to put them back in their place. It wasn’t like his blood brother to take things like that lying down, especially not where his new beau was concerned, if previous days were anything to go by. James took a final draw of his cigarette and stubbed it on the door jamb before he followed Sirius inside.
He caught up with him just heading into their room, where Sirius shucked off his jacket and toed off his boots with a sigh.
“Hey, what happened?”
Sirius shrugged one shoulder, and James saw his fingers go to the twin dog tags resting over the top of his t-shirt. “Just got to thinking.”
James understood instantly and nodded, crossing over to sit on the end of his bed with a well-practised feigned nonchalance. He knew from experience that Sirius would clam up if there was any attempt to try and coddle him or show affection, and it was better just to pretend he didn’t care. “Right. How’s Remus doing?”
Sirius shrugged again, climbing onto his bed and lying face down into his pillow. “I don’t know. I walked out when he asked about Reg. Told him about the war and walked out. Told him about my dead brother, and walked out like a goddamn coward.”
“That’s not cowardly,” James shot back, careful to keep his voice neutral.
Another shrug.
“You must like him to have told him that.”
Another shrug. Then after a second, Sirius turned his head to stare at James. James stared right back. He knew Sirius’ tactics well enough to play him at his own game. He wouldn’t be cowed into silence by that sharp grey stare and leave Sirius to wallow. “Yeah. It’s like I can’t bloody lie to him, the words just came out. Didn’t mean to.”
“I’ll bet he understands.”
“How can he? He’s a kid, James, he’s 17 and I’m there talking about the war and my damn dead brother.”
“We’re 19, Sirius, that ain’t much older.” James smiled and ran a hand over his hair. “And you act like a kid most of the time anyway, buster.”
Sirius laughed then and rolled over to kick James in the shin. Bolstered by the grin on his face, James sat up, pulled out his tobacco and began rolling cigarettes. “What I’m saying is, it seems like he’s pretty keen on you, too. And if he’s Lily’s friend-” James laughed at an eye-roll from Sirius- “then he’s gotta be a good kid. I’ll bet he understands.”
Sirius smiled softly. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.” He reached over to snag the single cigarette James had just finished rolling, along with the book of matches to light it. “He’s still going to the dance with Lily. Thinks I’m joking when I ask him.”
“Well then,” James shot back, taking his matches back. “Looks like we’ve both got to convince our paramours we’re serious, haven’t we?”
“I’m already Sirius, mate.”
James launched his empty cigarette case at Sirius’ head. “Shut your trap, square.”
The next day, James and Sirius laid in the garden, a half-forgotten game of cards between them. The rest of the gang were either heading in to Hogsmeade for something to do, or down the coffee bar with their new friends. As strange as it seemed, the teens in Godric’s Hollow were fun. Frank and Ted had riotous senses of humour, Peter and Gid were always immediately discussing comics when in each others vicinity, and Mary, though a little shy at first, could dish out witty put-downs with the best of them. James needed to clear his head away from Lily for a while though. He needed to come up with a plan to woo her once and for all. Dorcas had brushed away the idea of whisking her away on horseback, which in hindsight probably was a stupid idea, and everything else had failed up until now.
“Have you tried just sitting down and telling her you really like her?”
“Pffft, of course!” James sat up to give Sirius an incredulous look.
Sirius raised an eyebrow above his sunglasses. “I mean, not sputter about how good she looks, or just grinning stupidly at her from across the room. I mean, earnestly telling her you’d really feel honoured if she agreed to be your date?”
James frowned. He thought he’d done that, but maybe he hadn’t. At least not in those words. And Sirius seemed to be having more luck in the dating department than he was, so maybe he was onto something. “Yeah… maybe that’s a good idea.”
“Well, today’s Thursday, ain’t it?” Sirius rolled onto his front and struck a match to light the cigarette he retrieved from behind his ear. “We got two more days to convince ‘em.”
“Yeah, I reckon we can though.” James had been told repeatedly he was an optimist through and through. He’d never really believed it, the war had made him cynical, made it easy to see the downside to every situation, but here, faced by another no from Lily and still smiling, hoping she’d say yes the next time, perhaps he was an optimist after all.
“Hey, you never know, she might be so pleased to not have you breathing down her neck today, then she’ll give in and say yes tomorrow when you turn up at the coffee bar.” Sirius grinned as he took a drag on his cigarette.
“Oh ha ha, what about Remus?”
“I dunno, not really sure how to face him after I walked out.”
“You get that stupid smile on your face when you talk about him though, you know that?”
Sirius flipped him the bird. “The same one you get about Lily? Don’t insult me.”
The rap on the counter in front of her shook Lily out of her reverie as her chin slipped from her hand in surprise. “Huh, what? Sorry!”
Petunia smiled tightly and nudged her sister on the hip. “I said, could you make Mr. Moody another coffee whilst I take this tray to Mr. and Mrs. Weasley?”
“Sure, sure, sorry. I don’t know what’s up with me today.” Lily shook her head and crossed to the coffee machine, her eyes sliding over to the window. It was mid-afternoon. The Marauders were usually here by now - since when did she start calling them that stupid name instead of ‘those bloody greasers’? - and they hadn’t been here yesterday, either. Well, the redheaded twins and Dorcas had been here for a while, but the two leaders were the most obviously missing figures in the coffee bar. Lily was almost ashamed to admit the place sounded strange without Sirius’ stupid barking laugh and it was strange to walk around and not feel James Potter’s stupid grin burning into the back of her head.
Lily hated that she felt strange now James wasn’t around. She’d managed 17 years of life without his stupid grin and his stupid hair and the way he couldn’t leave it alone even though it was always just on the right side of messy and not at all in the slightest bit attractive. She’d managed 17 years without his awful smoking habit and the way he tucked a cigarette behind his ear for later, the way he cupped his hand around the end of it when he lit the match, or always blew the smoke away from her when he was sat at the counter. She’d managed for 17 years without his stupid inane Hey Evans, or hello baby, or the way he strolled up to the counter and leant in on one elbow and smiled at her.
Blowing her fringe out of her eyes with a huff of frustration, Lily turned and started around the counter to give Mr. Moody his coffee.
“Quieter in here today, eh lass?” He muttered as she set the coffee in front of him, one hand already coming to wrap around the mug and bring it to his lips.
“Yes, it is, isn’t it?” Lily straightened the apron around her waist and glanced out of the window. She was just looking to see if they were coming so she could give herself some warning, give herself a last moment of peace, not because she wanted to see James.
Mr. Moody peered up at her for a long moment, his glass eye glinting menacingly. As a child he used to terrify her, but now she was aware he fought for his country in WWII and deserved respect, although he did make her shiver occasionally with the way that eye seemed to look right through you. “You look… unhappy today. Look after yourself, lass.”
Lily nodded, a little taken aback by the sincerity of his words, and habitually readjusted her apron. “Thank you, Mr. Moody, I will do. Let me know if you'd like anything else.”
Mr. Moody nodded and turned back to his coffee. Lily gawped for a moment, wondering where that had come from. Mr. Moody was a man of few words, and for him to come out with a notion like that out of the blue meant she had to be looking glum.
Shaking her head from that train of thought, Lily let out a sigh of relief at the awkward conversation being over, and quickly skirted back around towards the counter. She was halfway through wiping down the counters for the fifth time that afternoon - she was so bloody bored, where were Mary and Alice when she needed them? - when the phone rang. Throwing her cloth down, Lily slipped past Petunia at the sink and lifted the receiver.
“Good afternoon, Evans’s diner, how can I help?”
“Hi, Lily. It’s Remus.”
“Rem!” Lily pressed closer to the phone and grinned to herself. “How are you feeling? Any better? You sound better.”
“Yeah, yeah, better.” Remus cleared his throat as Lily leant on the counter. “Is… is Sirius there?”
Lily sighed and bit her lip. It didn’t escape her that both she and her close friend were falling for the two leaders of a biker gang. Only… she wasn’t falling for James Potter. Not in the slightest. “No, he’s not. Not yesterday, either.”
“Oh.”
“Why?” Lily felt a flare of protectiveness at the sheer disappointment in Remus’ voice. “Did he do something to you? Do I need to get Frank and Vernon and Ted to go and set them straight? I knew it!”
“No, no Lily,” Remus stuttered, pausing to cough for a moment. “It’s not that. It’s fine, he’s fine. Really- uh, no I just mean he said he would come back yesterday and didn’t turn up…”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, I don’t know… I guess I’m… I don’t know. I was having a really nice time with him then he ran off. I think I must’ve said something wrong. He was talking about the war.”
“Oh… yes, he and James were in the Army together weren’t they?” Lily had heard all the tales of the soldiers coming home from the war in the 1940’s, at the dance halls, their wives and girlfriends waiting with bated breath. Although James and Sirius weren’t old enough to be in that war - she wasn’t too sure where they would’ve been stationed actually, the Hollow hadn’t been touched by the war really - she still couldn’t shake the idea of James in uniform…
“Yeah… well. I don’t know. I’m just not sure what to do. He talked about the dance, too. Said he’ll have to steal me away for a dance so James can ask you for one…”
Lily laughed. “James Potter has been asking me to the dance at least once every hour since he spotted the flyer.” And yet, she thought in the wave of following silence, I might say yes.
“They don’t seem at all like the Eaters, do they?”
“No, not in the slightest… Eaters would’ve cleared out the till here a hundred times over already. But they seem… they’re nice, aren’t they?”
“Yeah.” Remus’ voice seemed to waver for a second. “Yeah, they are… real nice.”
“Well,” Lily nodded to herself for a second, almost reeling at the realisation she did in fact think James Potter of all people was nice. “I’m glad you’re feeling better, Rem… will you be down the green tonight?”
“Mm, no. I’m better. Better enough anyway, just not great… I think if I have today in bed - again-” Lily didn’t miss the frustration in his voice- “then I should be okay for tomorrow. I’ll come to yours for six o’clock?”
“That sounds fine. I’m sure you’ll be alright - we’ll take it easy all night.”
“Yeah.” Remus sounded far off again, the same kind of voice Lily heard when she interrupted him reading a particularly good book, or if they went to the drive-in at Hogsmeade and James Dean was on the screen. He thought she didn’t notice, but she did, and it didn’t matter one jot. James Dean was pretty attractive after all.
“I better go, Rem. See you tomorrow at six. Take care.” Lily said her goodbyes and hung up, turning from the phone back to the counter, where her vision was immediately assaulted by black leather and grinning smiles.
“Hello Red,” Sirius drawled, already sucking on a cigarette.
James rolled his eyes and promptly elbowed his friend in the ribs. “Hiya, Lily. How are ya?”
Lily ducked her head to hide a smile as she moved back around the counter towards the two greasers. “Hello you two. I’m fine.” She busied herself wiping the counter down with her dishrag and studied the pattern of it before she stated, “You weren’t around here yesterday.”
Sirius grinned. “You miss us?”
“Not likely,” Lily retorted through a noise of disgust.
James, she noticed, wasn’t grinning in that singularly annoying way he seemed to be capable of, and was looking at her in a strangely soft way, none of the usual ire in his hazel eyes. Lily couldn’t help the smile that curled the corners of her lips at the far-off loveliness across his features.
When she shook herself free of the daze, Sirius was staring at her with a wry smile. “Is Remus around?”
Feeling her face flame red, Lily shook her head. “No, he’s still at home today.”
Sirius shuffled, and Lily watched something like uncertainty flicker across his face. “Right, I’m gonna go see him. Can I get a chocolate brownie if ya’ got any?”
Lily tried to look as if she wasn’t pleased, really she did. But it was so endearing to see the way Sirius seemed to care for Remus - although she didn’t appreciate the way he had apparently left her friend in limbo for the past day. Remus had sounded a little anxious on the phone, but she was well aware of the grin that had stuck to him like glue when he and Sirius were in the booth a few days past. She didn’t want to pry any further - she’d felt bad enough about telling Sirius that Mr. Lupin was the Police Chief, so now she was keeping her nose out. As much as she could in a small town like the Hollow, anyway.
“Yeah, I’ve got some fresh out of the oven. I’ll get you one.” Lily nodded, giving a sly glance to James - who was still looking vacantly at the spot over her shoulder - on route to the kitchen. Maybe if she did go to the dance with James, then Remus would say yes to Sirius. Although, she would have to say yes to James, which currently didn’t seem like such a bad idea.
Lily ducked into the kitchen to retrieve the tray of chocolate brownies her mother had set on the side earlier. One wrapped securely in a napkin, she made her way back to the counter. Sirius handed her the appropriate change and she watched him head back out of the coffee bar, no doubt towards the Lupin residence. Lily didn’t miss the sly look he threw to James on the way out though, and turned back to the dark-haired boy with an expectant look on her face.
She was about to open her mouth to make some kind of wry quip about James being quieter than usual today, when his hazel eyes seemed to snap back to focus and he grinned at her, albeit a little more subdued than usual.
“Hi James… you alright?”
James nodded. “Yeah, yeah, I’m swell, sure.” He cleared his throat and stood from his seat. “Hey, Lily, have you got a minute?” James ran a hand through his hair and glanced around the relative quiet of the coffee bar. Lily noted the red flush across the bridge of his nose and felt her heart leap up into her throat. “Would you come outside with me just for a second?”
“Sure, only a second though, Petunia’s busy.”
James nodded, skirted around the counter and held a hand out for her, a sheepish look on his face. Surprised by the gesture, Lily took his hand and allowed him to lead her out to the front of the coffee bar, just to the side of the steps.
“… What is this about, James?” Lily asked after a second of silence, James shifting his weight from one foot to the other.
“Lily.” James took a breath and Lily was utterly convinced, for a moment, that he might vomit on her shoes. “I’m sorry if we got off on the wrong foot, I didn’t mean that, at all… I just… I really like you. And, I really, would, you know-” he took another breath, Lily took a step back to preserve the whiteness of her pumps- “I would be real honoured if you would be my date for the Midsummer Dance. I would be the happiest fella there just to walk in with you on my arm, honest.”
Even though he had asked a hundred times, even though he’d almost got down on his knees two days prior, before one of the twins had hurriedly pulled him back to his feet - thank goodness - Lily found herself smiling, found her cheeks turning as pink as the scarf in her hair.
“Yes.”
“I mean, it would rea- what, pardon?” James froze like a deer in lamplight, eyebrows shooting up towards his hairline.
Lily laughed and reached out to take his hand as it flew up to smooth through his hair. “Yes, James, I’ll be your date.”
James opened and closed his mouth a few times before his face bloomed into a wonderful grin. Lily laughed and squeezed his hand before stepping back up the steps. “I have to go back inside. Oh, and I’m wearing green, just so you know.”
James managed to find his voice as Lily pulled open the front door of the coffee bar. “Green, roger that. Thank you Lily, I’ll make sure you have the time of your life, I promise.”
“I’d hope so, Potter. Are you coming back inside or going to stand there until tomorrow night?”
“Yeah, see you tomorrow Lily, bye.”
Remus let the phone fall back onto the hook and started up the narrow staircase to his room. His mother had gone out to the greenhouses again, so he’d taken the opportunity to head downstairs and talk to Lily. He’d intended to ask for advice about Sirius, about the abrupt way he’d left two days earlier, but he couldn’t quite find a way to bring it up. Although, he was glad Lily was finally starting to see that this particular group of greasers weren’t all bad news, even if it were down to James Potter’s ridiculous hair.
At least, Remus thought as he sat heavily on the edge of his bed, Sirius hadn’t been down at the coffee bar. He hadn’t just been avoiding Remus after their awkward parting. Perhaps he really was just busy. Remus hadn’t meant to bring up Sirius’ dead brother, or the war, but he was just curious about his dog tags. His only experience of war veterans was Mr. Moody, and he wasn’t like Sirius in any way at all. But he could understand why it would be a touchy subject and he only hoped the other boy wouldn’t hold it against him. Remus sighed, rubbing a hand over his face to try and dispel the thoughts that had been swirling around him for the past two days.
One of the many problems about being ill - not including the poor timing of this flare-up, or the utterly embarrassing state Sirius had seen him in - was that he quickly ran out of things to read. Mansfield Park had proved interesting, but it didn’t really hold his attention as well as some of Austen’s other works, and he definitely wasn’t going to resort to the copy of the Beano that Peter left on his shelves a few weeks ago. Not yet, at least. He’d have to read everything else in the house four more times before the Beano could hold his attention. And when he didn’t have things to read, Remus’ mind ultimately went to other places, overthinking things, incessant worrying, and it didn’t help that actually, Sirius’ appearance in the Hollow had shaken his very foundations. Remus had never really felt all that interested in anyone else, beyond the odd kiss with someone that never went anywhere, but here he was thinking of every interaction between himself and Sirius over the past few days, wondering where it had all started because now he was dreaming of the greaser and falling asleep to his smile.
Remus could’ve at least tried to pretend that the first sound of stone against his window didn’t send his heart racing and his ungainly, unruly limbs scrambling onto his bed to allow him to peer out above the frame.
“Siriu-” Remus’ eyes widened as he saw the boy standing there, resplendent in the early-evening light, a small smile on his face. He was holding a chocolate brownie from Evans’s in one hand - Remus thought he could probably sniff out an Evans’s brownie in his sleep - and a bunch of bright yellow flowers in one hand. A clod of dirt clung to the roots of the flowers, and Remus realised he’d probably plucked them from Mrs. Figg’s garden two doors down, but he found himself smiling anyway.
“Remus!” Sirius called up, gesturing wildly with the flowers. “Your mum is out, yeah?”
“Yes!” Remus called back as soon as he’d prised the window open, the warm summer breeze gently washing over him. He didn’t want to think about the wave of relief he’d felt when he’d seen Sirius stood there, as if nothing had happened and they hadn’t left it awkwardly two days ago.
“Perfect,” Sirius said before he cleared his throat and spread his arms wide. “Remus Lupin. I am utterly head over heels sweet on you, and even though I’m occasionally a bit of an idiot, I would really love if you went to the Midsummer Dance with me. I don’t care if it’s not the done thing in Godric’s bloody Hollow, I want to go with you.”
Remus immediately flushed bright red at the thought of Mrs. Figg overhearing from her garden, but he couldn’t help grinning. He really did think that Sirius had been joking when he’d asked the first time, or the second, when he’d mentioned stealing him away from Lily.
But there was no way to misconstrue that as anything else. Sirius wanted to go to the dance with Remus. He wanted to dance with him, sit and drink lemonade together and probably watch Peter trip over his own feet trying to woo Mary, or laugh at awful jokes. He didn’t care that queer wasn’t a word in the Hollow, he just wanted Remus.
“Remus? I’m going to stand here like a square on your driveway until you answer, doll…” Sirius looked a little unsure, still holding the posey of flowers out in front of himself, and Remus realised he’d been staring, grinning like an utter fool.
“Yeah, yes - of course!” If possible, Remus’ cheeks grew even hotter and he pressed a shaky hand to his mouth to try and hide his idiotic smile.
Sirius didn’t even try to hide the wide grin that spread over his lips. “You will!?”
“Yes!” Then, after a moment, “This doesn’t happen in Godric’s Hollow, you know!” Remus called back, trying to lower his voice and keep it from wavering.
“I don’t care!” Sirius crossed to the drainpipe and shimmied up it with a still-remarkable ease. He paused at the windowsill, setting the brownie on the sill and holding the flowers out to him. “These are for you, doll.”
“Thank you, Sirius…”
Remus dutifully stepped back to allow him in but Sirius shook his head and held the flowers out again. “I can’t stay. I have to make sure I scrub up well enough to have someone as sweet as you next to me all night.” Sirius paused to grin, somewhere between his usual cocky grin, and a wonderfully quiet - almost shy - smile that Remus had only seen briefly under the lamplight of the village green on the first night. “Plus, James has asked Lily again, and I think she might’ve said yes this time, so I need to make sure he doesn’t have a heart attack.”
“Oh.” Remus took the flowers, and after a moment’s deliberation, set them in the water jug by his bed. He tried to pretend he didn’t feel a little disappointed that Sirius wasn’t coming and sitting next to him to talk about everything and nothing today - he really had missed it yesterday - but he could understand the need to make sure James’ death wasn’t on the imminent horizon. Besides, he needed to phone Lily. “Alright.”
Sirius grinned even wider, lifted a hand from the windowsill to shuck back a wave of his inky hair, and reached for Remus’ hand. “See you tomorrow then, doll?”
Remus grinned even wider, drew his shoulders up towards his ears in mild embarrassment, and nodded. “Yeah, see you tomorrow, Sirius.”
Sirius squeezed his fingers and lifted them to press a kiss to the back of his hand. Goodness, if Remus thought he couldn’t blush anymore with Sirius stood in his driveway, then he had another thing coming. He wondered for a moment if it were possible to pass out from all the blood in your body flooding to your cheeks, then Sirius smiled and moved back. “G’night, doll.”
“Good night Sirius.”
Remus watched, his heart in his throat hammering away to the tune of Si-ri-us, Si-ri-us, as the other boy shimmied back down the drainpipe and back down the driveway. Sirius paused at the end of the drive to wave goodbye to him, and Remus tried not to descend into a bubble of disbelieving laughter as he heard a whoop! of celebration from just beyond the hedges.
For a moment longer Remus stood at the window, pushing down the rising feeling of being Juliet at the balcony, Romeo having just sworn his love by the moon (the streetlight?), before he stepped back and started for the stairs again.
He had to tell Lily.
Chapter Text
Remus was more nervous that he thought he’d ever been, or was likely to ever be again, as he and Lily sat in the Evans’ front room, Lily fussing over her hair, Remus fiddling with his tie. Lily had left James with instructions on Friday evening, telling him and Sirius to come and pick them up at 7 o’clock to walk over to the church hall.
“They’ll be late, I think,” Lily said, standing and moving to peer into the hallway mirror and adjust the pale green satin ribbon in her hair that perfectly complimented her green gingham dress.
“I don’t know, if James had his way I think he’d have been waiting outside all night if it meant he impressed you.” Remus chuckled, moving to stand next to his friend in the mirror, swallowing down a lump of nervousness in his throat.
He and Sirius had been getting on so well - not to mention the grin that had stuck on his face for the past day since Sirius had asked him and he’d agreed - and for all intents and purposes he knew they would have a wonderful time tonight. But still, he was nervous, nervous to arrive with Sirius and not with Lily like he had the past few dances. He was nervous to dance with someone he actually liked more than a friend, not to mention another boy, and another Marlon-over-Marilyn boy for that matter. He wasn’t too sure why he was concerned with what everyone else would think, though - Sirius didn’t seem to care, and none of his friend group seemed bothered after all.
Remus pulled a face and fussed over his tie again, wondering if the reddish pattern matched his mid-brown suit just enough, or not quite enough, or whether his cream shirt would be alright if he spilled lemonade down it from sheer nerves.
Lily smiled as she applied her baby pink lipstick. “You look fine, Rem. Lovely, actually. Sirius won’t be able to pick his jaw up off the floor.”
Remus laughed even as his cheeks flushed. “You can talk - I think James might actually die.”
Lily laughed, adjusting the ribbon in her hair one last time before stepping away from the mirror. A moment later, a knock sounded at the door and Remus was sure he was definitely about to die of fright. Off a look from Lily, both of them moved to the door together and she pulled it open.
“Oh,” Remus breathed, not even seeing James for the sight that was Sirius Black stood at the doorstep, hands clasped behind his back. He was in a black suit, black tie done loosely around his neck, top button of his shirt undone, jacket slung over one arm. His shoulder-length hair had been tidied somewhat, sitting neatly over the collar of his shirt.
Sirius chuckled as he nudged James forward - who seemed to be trying to gather his tongue up from the floor as Lily laughed prettily - and turned to hold a hand out to Remus. “Hello doll.”
“H-Hello Sirius,” Remus said as he slipped past Lily, who was still trying to coax a greeting out of James. “You look… you look good.”
“Ah, not a thing on you though, doll. I gotta be the luckiest guy in the whole of this place to have you next to me.” Sirius said, adjusting the cuff of his shirt before he stepped to the side to allow Remus past. “Shall we get going? I think James will be catatonic for a while.”
Remus laughed, pressing a nervous hand to his mouth as he nodded, and fell into step with Sirius in the short walk down the road towards the church hall. “They can catch up.”
When Sirius paused and held the door of the Church Hall open for Remus, he ducked through with a smile, wondering if he would ever stop being embarrassed at all the little gestures the other boy kept doing for him.
“Remus! Sirius!” A chorus of voices piped up from a table across the hall, a nice distance between the buffet table and the stage where Gilderoy and the Lockharts were setting up. All of the Marauders, as well as Frank and Alice, Petunia and Vernon, Ted, Mary and Peter were already at the table, and none of them seemed to care that Sirius picked two seats together to sit in.
Well, Mary, Petunia and Alice were probably too busy fawning over Gilderoy anyway. He was something of a heartthrob from Hogsmeade, with a bright white smile and a famous swoop of golden hair, but Remus didn’t feel the same way about him as he did about Marlon Brando or James Dean or, or, well, or Sirius Black, with his swoop of inky hair and syrup slow smile.
The group chatted idly, complimenting outfits or talking about the newest piece of gossip that had filtered over from Hogsmeade, and descending into laughter when James and Lily finally appeared through the doors. It looked as if Lily was holding James up, her arm through his, James grinning dopily at the smile on Lily’s lips. Petunia and Vernon were the first to get up and start dancing, Gilderoy’s admittedly dulcet tones filling the hall, something upbeat but not too rock n’ roll. Alice and Frank were next, then Peter plucked up the courage to ask Mary too.
Remus sat next to Sirius, sneaking sidelong glances of the other boy’s wonderfully pleasing profile, watching the way his smile crooked to one side when he noticed Remus watching throughout their group conversation. Sirius moved and put his hand on the table, just next to Remus’ fingers curled around his lemonade cup.
Remus took another sidelong glance, his heart in his throat, as Sirius chatted animatedly with Fabian and James, but he was smiling. Summoning the courage from goodness knows where, Remus slid his hand over the table and hooked his pinky finger onto Sirius’, feeling as if someone might notice and suddenly start screaming about two boys holding hands. But it never came.
Sirius smiled brighter, turning his hand and lacing their fingers together. Remus smiled back, bright red but furiously happy, heart hammering in his throat. Sirius’ fingers felt warm and dry, a reassuringly solid pressure against the damp nervousness of his own palms. Remus thought he would never not be holding hands with Sirius from here on out if it were up to him.
“Hey,” Sirius hummed, leaning into him as Gilderoy and the Lockharts started some awfully over-choreographed opening routine to Jailhouse Rock. “You want to dance to this one?”
Remus paused for a moment, eyes flickering between their linked hands on the tabletop and the reassuringly open smile on Sirius face. “Yeah,” Remus breathed, suddenly not caring one jot for anyone else in the room. “I’d like that.”
Sirius smiled wider and stood from his seat, all effortless grace and clean lines in his suit, keeping a hold of Remus’ hand. He waited a moment for Remus to step around his chair, then swept him onto the small dance floor.
“Let me lead,” Sirius murmured, one hand still holding Remus’, as the other situated itself on his waist. Remus tried not to think about the way his heartbeat seemed to increase exponentially and instead chose to worry about the fact he’d never let anyone lead in a dance before.
In truth he didn’t have the greatest rhythm, or the best idea of what move to do next, so whenever he did dance with one of the girls, it was lots of them spinning and him just sort of standing there. But he knew Sirius was a great dancer from that night at the village green, he and Marlene jivin’ together like they were made for each other. Only now Marlene and Dorcas were dancing together themselves, Dorcas in a pencil skirt and Marlene in a suit, trousers cuffed, shirt sleeves rolled to the elbow.
And Sirius was dancing with him instead.
Sirius was a great dancer, leading him easily with soft pushes to his waist or a nudge of his fingers against Remus’ palm. It was nothing fancy, nothing compared to the way the other Marauders seemed to fit together, but smiling up at Sirius, with a tendril of black hair falling into his eyes, quicksilver as his grin, nothing else really mattered. Soon Remus found he was barely even thinking about dancing, just moving on instinct, feeling the music, feeling Sirius. They only misstepped a few times, the occasional heel to the others’ foot that they laughed off like nothing.
Remus didn’t care about anything else. He didn’t care he was dancing with another boy, that Sirius was spinning him out like he would do with one of the girls, twirling back into the sturdy length of his chest. He didn’t care that he was so obviously a Marlon-over-Marilyn kinda fella, that anyone could see the huge smile stuck fast to his face. Because he was dancing with Sirius. Sirius who made his heart feel aflame, who made his limbs feel like they were made of jelly and he would be capable of nothing but blushing vermillion for the rest of his days. Sirius that made a flutter of something sprout in the pit of his stomach whenever he smiled, warmth in those wonderful quicksilver eyes.
“You’re a good dancer, doll,” Sirius said, a little breathless after Whole Lot of Shakin’ Going On subsided.
Remus laughed, pushing a hand through his hair to shuck a handful of curls away from his face. “It’s all your leading, Sirius.”
“Well, I’m pretty good.” Sirius laughed, his fingers on Remus’ waist circling softly over the fabric of his shirt. “But it’s a team effort dancing, and we make a great team.”
Remus bit his lip, squeezing his hand in Sirius’. “We do, don’t we?”
“Dancing’s always better with someone, a special someone, so grab that someone, hold them tight and dance yourselves away tonight!” Gilderoy quipped as the band struck up the next song, not an ounce of sarcasm in his overly honeyed voice. Remus would’ve laughed if Sirius wasn’t stood so close, if he wasn’t smiling a wonderfully syrup-soft smile and sliding his hand around Remus’ waist.
The opening beat to Put Your Head on My Shoulder strummed through the hall, and Remus thought he couldn’t get any redder until he saw the soft pink that was blooming on Sirius’ cheekbones too.
“This alright?” Sirius breathed, his warm breath ghosting over Remus’ face.
“Yes, yes,” Remus affirmed, nodding as he stepped closer at Sirius’ urging, one hand sliding around to the nape of his neck, the strands of black silk there easing through his fingers. Sirius’ hand was warm on his lower back, through the layers of fabric, and Remus couldn’t quite shake the feeling that all of this was so incredibly right. Dancing with Sirius felt so much more right than dancing with Lily ever did, or kissing Mary or anything like that.
“Put your head on my shoulder, whisper in my ear, baby, words I want to hear-”
Gilderoy was singing, his voice uncharacteristically soft over the music, but it felt unimportant. The whole world narrowed to just Remus and Sirius, the quicksilver eyes staring down at him full of warmth, the arms around him swaying to the music. Remus let out a shaky breath and let his head fall onto Sirius’ shoulder. He didn’t care about anything else, wouldn’t have noticed if the whole world burst into flames because then Sirius turned to lean his cheek onto Remus’ temple, still moving them to the music.
Sirius was humming the words softly at the back of his throat, and Remus circled his fingers on the nape of Sirius’ neck to the tenor of the voice against his temple. Then they shifted, just turned a little, so Sirius’ lips parted against the swell of his cheek.
“Remus… can I kiss you?” Sirius breathed, his voice feather-light, his fingers warm against Remus’ spine.
“Yes.”
Then their lips met, Remus rising onto his toes a little, Sirius ducking his head, and every other kiss Remus had ever had - probably three, if he were being generous - paled immediately into nonexistence. Sirius’ lips were warm and dry, tasted of tobacco and lemonade, and pressed with sweet insistence against his. It was slow, careful, and felt like Sirius was trying not to spook a wild animal, one hand sweeping in placating lengths over Remus’ spine as their lips met in a few short presses. Remus sank into Sirius’ arms, into the warmth of his body, the strong planes of his shoulders and shuddered out a shaky breath when Sirius pulled back. Remus watched Sirius’ grey eyes - warm, so warm - flicker over his face, before he gently pushed a curl of hair off of Remus’ forehead. He wondered if Sirius felt like his whole world had been upended, just like Remus did, before he realised a laugh of disbelief had bubbled up from his throat.
Sirius grinned and pressed his lips to the corner of Remus’ mouth. “You’re certainly something, Remus Lupin,” he said, but he didn’t sound angry at all, his voice as dreamy and soft as the expression on his face.
“I really like you, Sirius.” The words had tumbled from his mouth before Remus had really realised what he was saying, and he immediately bit his lip to try and dissuade the last few syllables from springing to life, but it was too late.
Sirius just grinned, even brighter somehow, quicksilver and tobacco and lemonade, all sweetness, all the things that made Remus’ heart bloom. “I really like you too, Remus.”
Oh, Sirius was a goner.
He was as gone as James was for Lily, if not more, more than anything in his whole miserable life so far, and it was for Remus Lupin. Sweet Remus with his awful mustard yellow jumper and that permanent blush and a kiss like lemonade and chocolate.
He belatedly realised they had stopped dancing, and Sirius was now just shifting them from foot to foot, his arms wrapped tight around Remus’ middle, his cheek pressed against the shorter boys temple. Somewhere, the band was still playing, distantly unimportant to the sound of Sirius’ heart beating and the soft wash of Remus’ breath against his neck. Everything else faded out completely. He didn’t care that James was finally, finally dancing with Lily a few feet away, that Caradoc was trying to catch his eye to make some kind of lewd gesture. It was just Sirius and Remus, arms around his neck, head on his shoulder. It was the dip of Remus’ spine mapped under his fingers, unfathomably intimate and yet their lips had barely touched. Sirius lifted his head, delicately brushed a curl of hair from Remus’ forehead, and smiled.
It was perfect.
Then the lights tripped back on, the door slammed against the wall of the hall and the music slowly filtered down to silence. Sirius instinctively tightened his fingers on Remus’ back for a moment in a flare of protectiveness, the bang of the door making him jump wildly. He looked around and saw a figure at the doorway, arms crossed, glowering in a navy blue uniform, the golden buttons of a tunic winking in the bright fluorescent light of the hall.
Remus lifted his head from Sirius’ shoulder, a soft smile on his face, his eyes all molten chocolate, and turned. His facial expression dropped immediately, his hands sliding from Sirius’ neck as he took a step back.
“Chief Lupin,” A woman was saying - Sirius thought she might be Alice’s mother from the family resemblance - as she stepped forward and held a placating hand out. “What’s wrong?”
“Mrs. Macmillan, I’m here to uphold the good name of Godric’s Hollow,” Chief Lupin said, his voice ringing through the building.
Sirius saw every teen in the room practically shiver and try to slink into the background. He glanced around to see James glaring at the man, with Lily stood at his side resolutely, her hand in his. James looked like he could’ve faced down an entire army like that. Marlene and Dorcas had stopped dancing too, slowly disentangling themselves from each other, and Sirius saw Gideon, Fabian, Caradoc and Bones rising from their seats too. Remus had shifted to Sirius’ side, eyes wide and darting, but his jaw was set. It was clear, all at once, why Remus hated it when everyone lumped him in with his father.
Chief Lupin’s eyes - the same chocolate brown as Remus’, but so cold - raked over the crowd and picked out the Marauders with ease. Sirius set his chin and jutted his jaw forward.
“The gang of delinquents who are trespassing at this dance need to leave. We don’t want your… kind here.”
Lily stepped forward at the same time Mrs. Macmillan started to speak. “Chief Lupin, they aren’t causing any trouble, and I-”
“It is not up for debate, Ms. Evans. These so-called Marauders-” the word ripped from his tongue like the ugliest curse word Sirius had ever heard in the trenches- “are to leave within the hour. Go and get your belongings and those monstrosities you call motorbikes, and leave.”
Sirius bristled, pulled himself up to his full height, ready to fight. The splits of his knuckles had healed from their run in with the Eaters just before they arrived in the Hollow and he wasn’t going to give up that easily. He wasn’t going to give up his happiness, his Remus. But then, Remus shifted beside him, touched his fingertips to the blade of Sirius’ shoulder, and he realised he couldn’t. He couldn’t bring the violence of the gang, the violence of his blood brothers and sisters, his violence, into Godric’s Hollow like that. Not to Remus, not sweet Remus with the permanent blush, or fierce Lily Evans with the hidden heart of gold, her arm linked through James’.
Okay. If they were told to go, they’d do it. Go quietly, remember every second of their brief moments of luxurious heaven in the Hollow, but slip back out into the dusk of midsummer. Sirius closed his eyes briefly and heard James shift beside him.
“Sirius?”
“Yeah… yeah, let’s go get our things…” Sirius’ shoulders sunk, the weighty prospect of life against them. How strange, that he had been here for a week at most, a town he thought sleepy and boring at first, and now his heart was pulling violently at his ribs at the thought of leaving.
Sirius trudged forward, all eyes in the hall on the Marauders as they filed out of the door of the hall and into the balmy night. Chief Lupin stood by the door, glowering.
Lily was right on their heels, her green eyes blazing. To Sirius’ immense surprise, Ted, Frank, Alice, Peter and Mary were at her elbow. “Chief Lupin, they haven’t done anything.”
“Ms. Evans, not that it’s your decision to make, but I was told by a reputable source that these… degenerates have supplied liquor to underage persons, as well as had illegal substances, and a large number of stolen items amongst their possessions at Ms. McGonagall’s bed and breakfast.”
Sirius frowned, turned back then, opening his mouth to argue. But it was true, wasn’t it? There probably were some stolen goods in the bottom of his knapsack, especially the things they won from the Eaters in a race earlier that month. His gaze flickered back through the doorway of the hall, to Remus still stood on the dance floor, hands in his pockets, eyes so wide, pain so obviously etched across the beautiful lines of his beautiful face. All the fight slipped out of Sirius, fell away like the pleasant veneer of whisky when faced with something unfortunate. He couldn’t do that to Remus - he was better than that, wasn’t he? As much as he wanted to fight, wanted to scream and dig his heels in that he would not leave, he would not leave him, Remus deserved better than that.
“Lily, it’s fine. Don’t get yourself involved for us, please. We’ll be leaving, sir-” The name felt sour on Sirius’ tongue, Remus’ expression still flashing in relief against his retinas- “we’ll be going to McGonagall’s now to fetch our things.”
Sirius turned back onto the street and walked in deafening silence with James at his shoulder back towards McGonagall’s B&B. The woman herself was behind the counter, her eyes uncharacteristically soft behind her wire-rimmed glasses. “I’ll have you know that this is none of my doing. If it were up to me, you’d be fine to stay.”
Marlene sighed somewhere behind Sirius’ left shoulder, a weary, airy thing, and Sirius knew every one of his blood brothers and sisters were as sad to leave the peace of the Hollow as he was. He hadn’t seen them all look so bright for so long.
“Thank you, ma’am,” James had the wherewithal to say, “we’d best be getting our things…”
McGonagall nodded curtly. “The Chief was here earlier. Advised me he’d be looking in your rooms. I declined that request. You were well-behaved here with me, that’s all I deem important.”
Fabian cleared his throat through the dumbstruck silence that descended over the Marauders for a moment. Never had an adult, someone of good repute, someone like Minerva McGonagall, ever stood up for them before. “That- That’s very much appreciated ma’am, very kind indeed.”
Single file up the stairs, deafening silence yawning between them, the Marauders trekked to their rooms to hastily pack their few belongings.
James huffed a breath as he shucked off his suit, back into his jeans and leather jacket, as Sirius did the same. “This ain’t right. We didn’t do a thing, Sirius, not a thing.”
Sirius shrugged, tired, feeling as if he might already be grieving for the lack of mustard jumpers and russet curls in his life from here on out. How absurd. “I know.”
“It ain’t right! And- and, Lily… Damn it all to hell Sirius, I love her. I can’t leave her.”
“I know… They don’t deserve it.”
“Remus too?” James shouldered his bag and put a hand on Sirius’ arm. His question felt like a million questions, but the answer was the same to all of them.
“Yeah… Yeah, Remus too. But it’s his father. I don’t want to make a scene… In a sleepy little place like this? They’re all so innocent, all so untouched by it… I can’t- I can’t bring that into their lives.”
James sighed and looked away out of the window where the dregs of summer light were sinking behind the tree line.
“You get that, don’t you?”
“Yeah… exposing them all to… to us.” James rubbed a hand over his face. “I get that.”
Downstairs, McGonagall was still behind the desk, and gave a tidy sniff as they filed back into the room. She nudged a plate of biscuits towards them on the countertop. “Look after yourselves.”
Sirius, overwhelmed with the kindness, feeling like a biscuit might make him vomit with the way his insides were roiling, nudged past his friends and stepped out onto the street.
“Sirius-”
There they were. Friends.
Lily, green eyes shining, Peter, bright red and huffing as if he had been shouting, Ted with his jaw set and clenching. Mary was crying - no, sobbing - into Ted’s arm, Alice was red-eyed, Frank with a supporting arm tight around her shoulders. Oh and Remus, oh Sirius’ heart broke into a million pieces, he wanted to run over and sweep Remus up into his arms forever. His shoulders were shuddering slightly, but Sirius could see, felt like he was keyed in to Remus’ feelings after they had been pressed so close together dancing, as absurd as it was.
“We don’t want you to go,” Lily blurted out as Mary descended into a fresh wail of tears.
“We ain’t got a choice, flower,” James said, stepping past Sirius to take both of her hands in his.
“Don’t go. Just stay, they can’t make you.” Ted looked like he was willing to go ten rounds with a champion heavyweight if it meant his new friends could stay in the Hollow, and the stark look of loyalty in his eyes struck Sirius’ insides. All of these teens, these kids, wanted his gang of troublemaking outlaws to stay, to be friends, to be loved. Sirius sucked in a shaky breath.
“They’ll make us, we don’t want to cause a scene, not here, not with you.” Dorcas, back in her jeans and jacket now too, stepped around to Marlene’s bike. Her lashes were spiked with unshed tears. Sirius was glad the sentiment was shared across the Marauders, the unspoken agreement to keep Godric’s Hollow as pure as possible, as beautiful as they had found it, like a breath of fresh air.
Sirius found himself at the edge of the group, a hand lodged distractedly in the tidy sweep of his hair, Remus a sight to behold in front of him.
“Sirius-” His voice was shaking, and Sirius thought he might just keel over and die at the rush of affection that flooded through him. He set his mouth tight and stepped forward to take his hand.
“Remus, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry it ended like this.”
“I won’t-” Remus squeezed his fingers and glanced down at their joined hands- “I know why you don’t want to fight, to put up a fuss, to stay. Because he’s my dad. But I still don’t want you to go.”
Sirius shook his head, laced their fingers and pulled Remus closer, dusk on its way, remnants of the pinkish light curling and lingering between them, over the shine of Sirius’ jacket, through the depths of Remus’ eyes. “I don’t wanna do that to ya’. I’m- Damn, Remus, I’m just so sorry. About it all. About ruining your night, about… about the other day, about my brother, stormin’ off, treating ya’ like that. About everything I didn’t say. I wanted to give ya’ the world and I messed that up. I’m sorry.”
“No.” Remus’ voice was surprisingly strong, still wavering on the single syllable, but his eyes snapped up to meet Sirius’ and he was struck again with the warmth of them. Sirius drew one hand back from Remus’ fingers and lifted it to cup the side of his jaw, stroking his thumb over the tender skin there. Remus leant into his touch, cat-like, and smiled the softest, saddest smile Sirius had ever seen. “Don’t apologise Sirius, please don’t apologise… it was perfect. All of it. Perfect just how it was.”
“Oh, Remus…” Sirius’ heart shattered and sank into fragments at the soles of his boots. He wanted so desperately to believe they could keep in touch, that if Remus ever left Godric’s Hollow then he would run straight back to him. But Sirius wasn’t a fool. He knew how hard it was to keep in touch. He had best friends from the troops that he had lost contact with immediately, dear friends he’d never heard from again. Having no postal address and no real access to a telephone or telegraph machine made it hard to keep in contact even if it was the only thing that mattered to you. Maybe he could’ve figured something out, found some way to work through it, but Sirius was a pessimist, and felt like he was already grieving for their lost relationship, already hurting so much that trying anything to keep it going would just prolong the pain.
They had their handful of perfect moments, that was all he needed. So Sirius gripped Remus’ hand tighter, warm, so warm, and nodded.
I’ll remember you forever.
James slung a leg over Sirius’ bike, slotting behind his blood brother with a practised ease that still grated his very bones for missing his own bike. The dull ache of it only added to the indignant pain in his heart for having to leave Godric’s Hollow. But Sirius was right, they would only cause more trouble if they tried to stay, only bring down the real wrath of the law if they dug their heels in, and that was something they usually tried to avoid.
Sirius manoeuvred the bike down the main street of the Hollow at a slow pace, as if he were trying to delay the inevitable moment they passed over the town boundaries and left forever. Lily and the other teens were running behind the bikes, adamant they would see their friends - friends! The word caught in James’ throat - to the edge of town. James had thumbed a tear away from the corner of Lily’s eye before he’d kissed the tip of her nose in a farewell, but she was crying anew as he stepped away.
James sighed softly as they crawled past the coffee bar, tilting his head to look longingly at the dull light of it; Mr. Evans must’ve just been closing the place down for the night. The streets were oddly alive, teens from the dance now dispersing back home, some of them stood at the edge of the road to watch the greasers go. James couldn’t tell if they were happy they were leaving or not, but he knew the group trailing behind them were beyond upset, and that was all that mattered.
James frowned at a new group he didn’t quite recognise gathered outside the coffee bar. But they were oddly familiar, the dark jackets, the glint of metal towards the back of the car park, that one blonde head- “Hey!” James shouted towards them, smacking Sirius’ shoulder to alert him before he swung his leg off the bike and set off in a run towards the group. He heard Sirius pull up behind him, heard Fabian grumbling, heard Marlene say something over the low thrum of the bikes.
“Eaters!” James called, striding over the road, Sirius now at his shoulder, the others a scant second behind. “That’s my girl’s coffee bar you’re tryin’ to case! Piss off!”
They must’ve slipped in amongst all the hubbub of the evening, the Chief apparently too busy concentrating on the Marauders when the real delinquents were creeping in like rot.
Their leader, a nasty piece of work named Riddle, turned at the doorstep and raised an eyebrow. “Oh. It’s you punks.”
Lucius, the one blonde member of their group - but still as nasty as his cohorts - sneered. “You lookin’ for a rumble, Marauders? Back off.”
“Not likely!” James retorted, puffing his chest out and sliding a hand through his hair. “This place is ours. You can just mosey on back where you came from.”
“Is it? Looked like you were just leaving…” Riddle observed, casually spinning the signet ring on his finger around.
“James?” Lily’s voice echoed from behind James, and he felt the sudden need, plummeting through him like a knife, to protect her at all costs. “What’s going on?”
Unwilling to back down from the staring contest between he and Riddle, James turned a little to see Lily out of his periphery, green eyes shining with concern. “Nothing, flower. Just leave it to us.”
“Oh.” Riddle smiled, the edges of it curling towards a grimace beneath his hollow eyes. The snake tattoo on his arm seemed to glint in the lamplight. “I see how it is. You made friends, ain’t ya?” He stepped forward, just a half-pace, still turning his signet ring around, but James flared with protectiveness. “How swell. She’s a doll, that’s for sure.” He stepped forward another pace and James put himself firmly between Riddle and Lily.
“Back off,” James snarled, hating every second that Riddle drew closer. He stepped forward and drew his fist back to punch him square in the jaw and teach him not to look at Lily like that.
Sirius was at his elbow instantly, pulling him to a stop. “Leave it, James, leave it!”
For a moment, James was taken aback by the fact that Sirius - usually the first one looking for a fight - had intervened, but then he remembered. Usually, James was the level-headed one, and Sirius was the fiery one, flying off the handle and into fights, but here he was holding James back, and James was fizzing over with the way Riddle was smiling awfully at Lily. They were trying to be good, James reassured himself. They were trying not to bring their gang violence into the Hollow, not impress it on the wonderfully unblemished friends they had made there.
“Alright,” James breathed, straightening his jacket and glaring anew at Riddle.
“And they made you soft too? That’s a real shame.” Riddle smiled again, slow and predatory. James reached behind him to Lily and pushed her further back a little towards the relative safety of her friends.
Sirius snorted a humourless laugh. “You stop runnin’ your mouth, Riddle, or you really will be cruisin’ for a bruisin’, never mind if you’re on our doorstep or not.”
“Your doorstep?” Another voice weaved through the crowd, and James couldn’t hide the look of surprise that flitted over his face when the kid they’d seen on their first morning - Sev was it? - stepped out from the Eaters. His tattoo glinted in the lamplight.
Lily gasped - a frighteningly glassy thing, shattering through the night. “Sev?”
James would’ve been brimming with I told you so, he knew the kid was an Eater, if it weren’t for the look of betrayal on Lily’s face. James wanted to fight the little git for the pain that was so obviously threaded through her voice. He tightened a hand on her arm, hoping to shield her from everything.
Severus’ smile shifted a little. “It’s not your doorstep.” He was fastidiously ignoring Lily, glaring instead at James, Sirius and the other Marauders.
“Sev! What- what are you doing? Why are you doing this? With them?” Lily tried to push her way forward, but James kept her by his side, wary of the way Riddle was leering at her.
“Oh, she’s the dolly from the coffee bar…” Riddle smiled, stepping forward another pace. James bristled even more. “She is real sweet, isn’t she?”
Lily, to her credit, didn’t pay Riddle any mind, and was instead staring at Severus. “Sev? I thought I was your friend, and- and you’re… are they forcing you? Do you need he-”
“I don’t need help from the likes of you! Not when you’ve got all your new friends,” Severus sneered.
“… It was you, wasn’t it?” Lily gasped, her hand flying to cover her mouth as she stared in disbelief. James frowned and looked between them. “You’re the one who told Chief Lupin, told those lies, to get everyone kicked out! How dare you! That’s- that’s awful, Sev, what in the hell are you doing?”
“… You what?” Sirius’ voice came out frighteningly dark and dangerous through Lily’s words. There was Sirius’ temper.
“Leave it, Sirius…” James put a warning hand on Sirius’ arm, could feel the tension thrumming through his best mate, and really did want nothing more than attempt to reduce the Eaters to a collection of bloody pulps on the floor. But Sirius was right, they were trying to be good, trying not to bring violence into the Hollow, he just had to remind Sirius of that in the face of the person that had ratted them out.
“I did what I had to, to make sure our town is safe from the likes of you.”
“How- how could you do that Sev?” Lily asked from over James’ shoulder, her delicate hand strong against his bicep.
Severus didn’t quite look at her, just adjusted the collar of his jacket and stepped closer to Riddle. “I did what I had to, to protect you, Lily.”
“Protect me? That’s bloody ridiculous, Sev! These people are my friends and you’ve ruined it all!”
For a moment, the only sounds between the group were Lily’s little laboured breaths that struck straight through to James’ heart.
“Well,” Riddle intoned, cutting through the silence as James tried to balance comforting Lily and preventing Sirius from tearing the Eaters apart. “This reunion sure is a gas, punks, but if you could just move on out, we’ll be getting back to taking what we need here.” Riddle fluttered a hand to shoo them away out of the Hollow.
“Not gonna happen,” Marlene said from Sirius’ shoulder, a hand on his arm. “You can get the hell out. They don’t want you here.”
“Guess we need to settle this the old fashioned way then.” Riddle nodded to the rest of his gang, who moved forward as one, knuckles cracking, eyes blazing. Gid and Fab bristled, James heard the snick of Caradoc’s knife and Dorcas’ soft utterance of Raas that meant she was ready for trouble.
“Whoa whoa whoa!” James stepped between them, holding his arms out. “We’re not fightin’ your sorry asses!” He really didn’t want to get another few inches added to his rap sheet or end up fighting in front of Lily. He wanted to try and keep the image he’d earned for himself in her eyes, the smile he got now when she looked at him. James heard the mutters of conversation behind him, the teens, the other Marauders, talking or saying something but it didn’t seem important. It only mattered to get Riddle and the other Eaters the hell out of Godric’s Hollow.
“Another way then.” Riddle waved a hand, calling off his lackeys, who grumbled a little at the prospect of not being able to skin their knuckles. James felt like he was standing in the no man’s land between the trenches. He wanted, needed, to be good. For everyone else. For Lily.
“A race.” Riddle’s eyes flashed with something awful, a smile curling the corners of his mouth in a way that made James’ stomach pull with the ugliness of it. “Me and you, Potter.”
James stilled. His bike was still in the shop, and he never could race with Sirius’ or Marlene’s or Gideon’s bike the way he could his own. He knew Riddle was a notoriously dirty rider, he had endless tricks up his sleeve, always chose the difficult routes. But if that’s what he wanted, if that’s what it took to get them to leave the Hollow alone, to leave Lily alone.
James straightened his collar and drew himself up.
“I’ll do it.”
Sirius stepped forward, shoulders set. It was the best thing he could do. He knew James didn’t race as well on someone else’s bike. James was his blood brother, his best friend. If it meant the Eaters would piss off out of Godric’s Hollow and leave the sleepy little haven an untouched oasis where someone as sweet as Remus could exist, then he would manage.
“Sirius.” James stared at him, communicating in looks and shrugs, years of friendship and hardship knitting them together. James didn’t want him to do it, he knew the risks. But Sirius knew the risks too, they were just worth the reward.
Sirius nodded and looked back to Riddle. “Yeah, I’ll race you Riddle. If I win, then you leave and never set foot in Godric’s Hollow again.”
Riddle smiled, crossed his arms over his chest and gave Sirius a long look. His eyes were terrifyingly blank, but Sirius tipped his chin and squared up to him. “And if I win? You leave the whole town and your pretty little friends to us.”
Sirius grimaced, the idea of putting his new friends, putting Remus, on the line like that, made him feel sick, but he knew he would have to win. He couldn’t imagine letting the Eaters have free run of the Hollow like that, not with the way they were leering at the teenagers behind him. “Deal.”
“I get to set the route.” Riddle grinned, cracking his knuckles one at a time, slowly moving down his fingers with a coolness that set Sirius’ teeth on edge. The sound rang between them. Sirius knew Riddle had a penchant for the deadliest roads in the county, knew that he had no qualms about one of his gang getting hurt if it meant they won. Sirius raised an eyebrow to hide the odd pang of nervousness in his throat. He’d never had anything to lose before. “The Cadaver Road.”
“No way man,” Marlene hissed from next to him.
“That’s crazy!” Gideon threw up a hand in protestation.
“You a candy-ass, Black?” Riddle taunted, crossing his arms.
Sirius grimaced, waving a hand behind him to try and quiet his blood brothers and sisters. “Nah. You got a deal, Riddle. From the edge of town to the viewing platform and back.”
“Deal.” Riddle gave him a hard look before turning back to his own bike.
Sirius watched him go for a moment before doing the same, confronted immediately with James and Marlene, who ushered him towards the bikes.
“Have you flipped your damn lid, Sirius? The Cadaver Road? That place has more black spots than anywhere else in the damn country.”
“I know, James.” Sirius pushed a hand through his hair as the Marauders crowded around him. Sirius didn’t think he would ever be nervous again after the Army; he didn’t think nerves were a thing once you’d stared down the barrel of a gun and came out alive, but here he was, swallowing down a well of nervousness in his throat. The Marauders milled around him, pushing his bike to the edge of town outside Mr. Pettigrew’s garage. Sirius just tried to remember the reason he was doing this; so the Eaters wouldn’t win. And if he kicked the bucket on the way - which seemed a highly likely occurrence on the route up through the Burrow hills outside the Hollow known colloquially as the Cadaver Road - then so be it, so long as he took Riddle down with him. He had his perfect moments with Remus, had those dances, that wonderful kiss and the warmest smile he’d ever seen in his life. That was enough, if it needed to be. Of course, he could win, and then the Hollow would be safe, Remus would be safe.
At the edge of town, Sirius slid onto his bike, letting out a huff of breath to try and calm his nerves. James clapped his shoulder, Marlene gave him a red-stained kiss on the cheek, and the others gave him hugs of reassurance until it all filtered back.
A crowd had formed - the occupants of Godric’s Hollow gathered at the edge of town to watch two rival gangs fight, unknowingly, over them, but the teens at the front stood out the most. Lily slipped next to James, hooked her hand through his arm and smiled up at him like he hung the moon, waiting for the reassurance of his smile that everything would be alright. Ted and Peter were watching the Eaters with something close to disgust on their faces and it warmed Sirius’ heart to know they didn’t look at him the same way.
Oh and Remus, damn it all, he looked so sweet, the lamplight casting slivers of light all over his hair. Sirius smiled, couldn’t help himself but smile even though he likely wouldn’t see him again. Remus slipped past Alice and Mary and crossed over to him at the starting point where he was waiting for Riddle.
“Hey,” Sirius breathed, shucking a hand through his hair, aware they were in front of everyone, but the crowd didn’t matter one bit when he had Remus.
“Sirius… Dorcas said this road is really dangerous.”
“Yeah…” Sirius sighed. He’d never had anyone to let down before, anyone to lose. Even if James was his best friend and the Marauders were his blood brothers and sisters, the prospect of letting them down didn’t hurt like it did when he looked at Remus.
He reached out and took Remus’ hand, laced his fingers through Remus’ warm ones. “You’re shaking.”
“I’m nervous for you.” Remus’ eyes were well-deep, cavernous depths that Sirius felt like he could swim in, so warm, so open. The look of apprehension written so clearly across his features was painful to see, knowing that he was the one causing it. But it needed to be done. This was the only way to get the Eaters out of Godric’s Hollow without resorting to a fist-fight, and the Eaters all fought dirty.
Sirius sighed and worried his bottom lip between his teeth for a moment whilst he thought. “Okay.” He squeezed Remus’ fingers and thumbed across the back of his hand. “Give me something of yours, for luck. I’ll win if I’ve got a bit of you with me.”
A flush stole across Remus’ face, and Sirius watched with a look of unadulterated adoration. After a moment, Remus lifted his other hand, keeping his fingers laced with Sirius’ for as long as possible, and untied his tie. He pulled it from his collar with the soft hiss of fabric on fabric, and leant over to knot it several times around the handlebars of Sirius’ bike. “There…”
Sirius watched, heart in his throat, feeling the warmth of Remus’ belief in him wrapping around him. Sirius reached out to link their fingers again, over the handlebar of his bike, over the knotted russet of his tie. He squeezed Remus’ fingers before lifting them to his mouth and pressing a kiss to his palm, to the lines there that felt like a map to the piece of his soul he’d left with him. “Thank you.”
Remus just nodded and squeezed his hand back.
A bike engine sprang to life next to Sirius as Riddle pulled up alongside him, dark hair slicked back, expression cruel and haughty. Sirius felt his guts clench at the idea of letting someone like that anywhere near Remus.
“Ready, punk?” Riddle called, opening the throttle on his bike to let the engine roar.
Sirius nodded, set his mouth in a hard line and nodded in reassurance towards Remus.
As he went to let go of his hand, Remus surged forward, cheeks a beautiful vermillion, and leant over the bike to touch his fingertips to Sirius’ jaw. He pressed a sweet kiss to Sirius’ lips, so tender and slow but full of warmth and wonder and love. “You’ve got all of me, Sirius.” One corner of his mouth quirked in a smile. “So you better win now.”
Sirius, dumbstruck, just managed to smile as Remus stepped away from the bike and back towards Lily and James. He let his eyes closed for a moment, filtering out the jeers of the Eaters and the roar of the engines. Sirius let himself sink into his bike, become one with the hunk of metal that was a part of his soul, let his memory fill with Remus’ soft smile.
Bella, an Eater with a shock of wild black curls, stepped between the bikes and pulled the scarf from her neck. As she whipped her arms down, the red of her scarf like a beacon, Sirius let the throttle of the bike go, let it roar to life and pulled off out of Godric’s Hollow with Riddle at his heels.
The motorbikes slipped off between the trees, leaving an odd vacuum of silence on the edge of Godric’s Hollow. Lily felt the sharpness of tears in her eyes, her hand in James’ arm, as she watched Remus step back from Sirius and tuck himself into her other side.
Lily took Remus’ hand in her other one and squeezed it tightly. “He’ll be alright.”
“Yeah…” Remus breathed, squeezing her hand back before letting it go and folding his arms across his chest. He looked as if he were cold, suppressed a shiver although it was midsummer, still light outside, and watched the edges of the town with keen eyes.
As soon as the bikes disappeared between the trees, tearing down the winding roads between Godric’s Hollow and the Burrow Hills, Peter, Gideon, Fabian and Ted scrambled up onto the roof of the garage so they could get a better look at the road for when the two riders would eventually reappear.
James let out a long sigh and rubbed his free hand over his eyes, his body reassuring and strong beside Lily’s, warm and soothing, and if he seemed calm then everything would be alright. Despite all of her first impressions, she had to admit she was sweet on James Potter, the lopsided smile he gave her, the way he had looked at her in complete awe when she had opened the door to him earlier that night, he had asked her to dance so sweetly, been such a gentleman all night. He’d tried to fend off a fight with the Eaters, to save them, to keep it all right for them, for her.
Lily watched him with a soft smile, saw the concern etched across his brow, the tightness at the corners of his mouth. She shifted closer and laid her temple against his bicep. “He’s your best friend, isn’t he?”
“Yeah,” James muttered as he watched the horizon for a moment longer before turning to Lily and bracketing her in his arms. “Known him since school… But I believe in him, he’s the best rider I know… apart from me, obviously.” He grinned at that, breaking the sheet-ice tension that had blanketed over the group.
Lily rolled her eyes. “Careful Potter, or I might not agree to be your date anymore.”
James smiled, bowed his head and held a hand out to her. “M’lady, my deepest apologies.”
Lily laughed at that, oh, she was so sweet on him, James Potter and his band of misfits. She had to acknowledge that the Marauders had somehow managed to fill a gap the teens of Godric’s Hollow didn’t even realise they had, until the mass of black leather and chrome bikes came roaring into their lives.
James’ gaze flickered over to Remus, still stood at their side, staring at the horizon, still as a statue, watching for the glint of headlights. James eased his arm from Lily’s shoulder and crossed over to Remus. Lily was struck by the tenderness on his face, the genuine concern he had for her friend.
“You know he’ll be fine, right?” James said, touching his fingers to Remus’ arm to draw his attention. Lily wrapped her arms around her middle to watch the interaction. Remus looked heartbroken, a far-off glass to his eyes, such a sharp contrast to the look of utter satisfaction that had been on his face in the Church Hall, dancing with Sirius.
Lily’s gaze slid over to the Eaters, stood at the side of the road in their own little cluster, arms crossed, glowering, looking like a black cloud on the edge of her life. That was what Chief Lupin saw when he looked at the Marauders, and the idea of that made her sick to her stomach. Well, if Lily Evans had anything to do with it, then the Chief would be eating his words!
She huffed a breath and stepped past the people gathered. Peter, Ted, and the redheaded twins were on the roof of the garage in order to get a good view of the hills outside the Hollow. Dorcas and Marlene had climbed up there too, and were currently helping Mary, Caradoc and Alice to climb the workbench they were using as a step-up.
“Chief Lupin!” Lily called as she found him in the crowd, stern beside Reverend Longbottom, Mrs. Macmillan stood next to them both looking a little displeased.
“… Ms. Evans?” Chief Lupin’s gaze flickered from the Eaters at the edge of town over to her. Lily hoped she looked firm and planted and unwilling to back down.
“I know that it was Severus who told you about the Marauders. But he was lying, over-exaggerating.”
“Ms. Evans, really. I don’t think you should be getting involved,” Chief Lupin warned, a frown across his features. He looked so like Remus in many ways, but the displeasure in his expression was such a difference to the tentative, naive joy that had clung to Remus in the past few days.
“But that’s the thing, Chief, I am involved. The people you’re trying to make leave are my friends. They’ve never done a thing wrong here - they helped out at the coffee bar, gave us good business, just ask my Pa. Marlene and Dorcas taught us a new dance from London, Gideon told Peter about that new comic from the Beano people, and James- James served in the Army, so did Sirius. They’re good men and women.”
Chief Lupin sighed, his eye-line drifting again but settling just over Lily’s shoulder. She turned a little and saw a group gathered behind her. Her friends were there, Alice and Peter nodding avidly, Marlene with a soft, bashful smile on her painted lips, Gideon and Fabian with Peter between them, Caradoc and Ted as if they were long lost brothers, stalwart next to each other. Lily smiled and nodded, trying to be reassuring.
James stepped up next to her, awe in his hazel eyes, pure adoration on his handsome features. “Flower…”
Lily set her jaw. “They are good people, they’ve only brought good to Godric’s Hollow.”
“If it weren’t for them,” Frank said, moving next to her, addressing Chief Lupin and his father, “then the Eaters could’ve just walked right in. They were about to go into Evans’s when James stopped them, sir.”
“That’s right, and after what happened to Mrs. Evans last time, surely that’s a good thing!” Mary said through another bout of unshed tears constricting her voice. “They are lovely, really. They haven’t been mean to us, or taken anything they shouldn’t have, nothing like that at all.”
Lily nodded vehemently with every word, reaching out to take James’ hand as he stood next to her. Something else was on the tip of her tongue, too, something that she knew she probably shouldn’t say, but she wanted to shout it, wanted Chief Lupin to understand.
Look how happy your son was. The smile on Remus’ face had to be enough reason for the Marauders to stay - her own happiness not involved. To see Remus smiling at Sirius, and the other boy smiling back, made Lily’s faith in humanity soar.
“Lyall, if I may interject.” A voice came from the edge of the crowd. Ms McGonagall stepped through, hands clasped over her tartan coat. “These young men and women have been excellent tenants thus far. Ms. Meadowes and Mr. Dearborn have done work in the garden that I’ve been unable to so far this year and the Prewett boys fixed a faulty pipe in the bathroom without my asking because they noticed it needed doing.” Ms McGonagall adjusted her glasses and pursed her lips. She was terrifying to most of the children - and to be fair, a lot of the teens too! - but she smiled softly at James and the other Marauders. “As I said to you earlier this evening, if I had my way they would be free to stay, Lyall.”
“Minerva,” Chief Lupin started, setting his hands behind his back. He looked softer than before, in the dusk light, the tendrils of bluish pink around them all, the teens still in their dance outfits, parents drawn out into the street by the commotion.
But then the flare of bike engines rattled through the trees.
“Hey! I see them!” Dorcas and Bones were still on the rooftop, and the former called out to them with a hand around her mouth. A few of the group scrambled back on the rooftop as Lily turned, squeezing James’ hand before running back towards the finish line with him.
Chapter Text
Sirius’ bike screeched around the corner as he flew up the road towards the Burrow Hills, heart nearly beating out of his chest. Riddle was right on his heels, knee almost knocking his, face set in a determined expression that Sirius was sure mirrored his own.
The Eaters can’t win, he thought, twisting his wrist to open the throttle on a small straight, desperate for just an extra inch or two between him and Riddle. It wouldn’t have surprised Sirius if Riddle did something real underhanded, either. He knew for a fact there was a knife up the sleeve of his jacket, and whilst the knife in his own boot was just as easily accessible, Sirius liked to think he was the better person. Especially after meeting Remus - seeing those well-deep brown eyes and that wonderful sunny grin just made Sirius want to be a better person, and starting knife-fights with Eaters was a marked step down from being a better person.
Instead, Sirius threw his bike around a corner, knowing exactly where to brake, exactly where to push and pull and how to test his own limits. The breeze, although mild and gentle down in the Hollow, was whipping through his hair at this speed, buffeting over his face, drawing tears to his eyes. Sirius knew what he was doing when it came to street races, he’d been racing just as long as he’d been riding, and he’d raced a few Eaters in his time before, too. Just never Riddle, and never for these kind of stakes. Never for a whole town, never for normal kids, for friends who loved him. Never for Remus.
Higher and higher, the road snaked through the hills, narrower and narrower, tighter and tighter. Sirius’ knuckles were white on his handlebars, aching with fatigue, adrenaline rioting through his veins. If he weren’t riding for life, love and everything in between, Sirius would’ve been ecstatic. The adrenaline, the excitement, the fear. But too much was at stake.
They rounded a corner, a sheer cliff wall at Sirius’ left, throttle open, the roars of the bikes carrying through the hills. Sirius threw a glance sideways at Riddle, who was leering back with a look that Sirius wanted to knock off his face like nothing else.
Riddle pressed closer, squeezing Sirius towards the cliff wall, the jagged rocks that comprised the Burrow Hills, never slowing down, faster, faster, closer, closer. The screech of metal along the wall, the sparks that were thrown up from the metal of Sirius’ bike against the rock, the scrape of that same rock cutting into his arm, scratching through his jacket to draw blood. Sirius hissed, wincing at the scrape on his arm, resisting the urge to turn his head away from the sparks.
My damn bike! He would’ve thought if there was any room in his brain for coherent thought. My jacket! My arm! But instead, all he could think was I have to win.
Sirius jerked his handlebars to the right, into Riddle, with one hand, and lifted the other to shove Riddle hard in the side. The bike bucked beneath him again, scratched down the side just like he was, but Riddle eased off on a laugh, already ahead.
“That’s low Riddle! Didn’t your mama teach you to fight fair?” Sirius called over the thrum of his bike as he leant forward to try and catch up.
Riddle laughed. “No!”
Sirius didn’t respond, concentrating on pulling ahead, on being faster, on winning.
Another volley of corners, through the hills. Sirius braked later and later, accelerated harder, faster, quicker. He knew the bike could take it, knew this machine like he didn’t know damn much else. And at the next short straight between hills, Sirius pulled alongside Riddle.
The roar of Riddle’s bike hit Sirius just as the other man’s shoulder did, forcing him over to the other side of the road. Sirius’ heart leapt in his throat, adrenaline pounding through his veins, as the bike bucked beneath him like a wild horse, threatening to throw him off. For a wild moment, Sirius had visions of being thrown from the bike, the wheel catching on the dirt at the edge of the road, tumbling from this thing that was such a part of him and- and- and-
He couldn’t think about it. Couldn’t concentrate on that when he had to win, for the Hollow, for Remus, to stop Riddle. Sirius eased off the throttle, letting the bike settle beneath him again, muscles burning from trying to keep it under control.
Sirius’ heart was hammering as he managed to manoeuvre the bike back under control. He had only just missed the grass verge, the side of the road which tumbled off over a small bank down to the valley below, where Godric’s Hollow sat. Sirius huffed, trying to catch his breath and catch up now Riddle had given himself an unfair advantage. Riddle just laughed again, pulling ahead, and Sirius ducked low to the tank of the bike to try and catch up.
But then Sirius looked up, on the wrong side of the road, under oncoming headlights, a car in the road, a horn sounding. Riddle laughing, the roar of engines, blood pounding in his ears.
He has to win. He has to win, Remus thought. He has every bit of me now, my tie around his handlebars, my lips on his, my heart in his pocket. He has to win.
Remus’ palms were clammy, shoved in the depths of his trouser pockets, remembering the feel of Sirius’ fingers laced with his. It had all been so wonderful, so utterly story-book perfect, that he could scarcely believed it had happened to him. Remus had resigned himself completely to a boring life - he’d probably end up still living with his parents in a decade’s time, helping his mother out in the gardens, going to the coffee bar for his dinner, seeing Petunia (because Lily would’ve moved out, gone to Hogsmeade, or to see the world) and just being utterly boring. But then the Marauders rolled in, and there was Sirius, in their circle at the village green, smiling like quicksilver and setting his heart racing.
And Sirius liked him. Not only was Sirius the most beautiful creature he’d ever seen up close - the movie stars had nothing on him - but he was a Marlon-over-Marilyn kinda guy (one day he would get used to thinking the word queer!) Not only that, but Sirius liked him. Him - Remus Lupin, with the stupid red splotches over his cheeks and the jumpers a size too big, with the Police Chief for a father! As absurd as it seemed, Sirius liked him.
Remus had had the best night of his life up until around an hour ago, right from the moment Sirius had met him at the Evans’ front door, he had been on Cloud 9. If only it hadn’t turned sour like it did, if only his father hadn’t come along to ruin it all.
And now, Remus was here, waiting for the boy who owned his heart to reappear through the curtain of trees, scared to even blink lest he miss him. He lifted a hand - distantly aware it was shaking a little with nerves - and touched the top button of his shirt, where his tie had sat until he had knotted it around Sirius’ handlebars. Then he touched the swell of his lower lip, thinking of Sirius’ kisses, two of them now, the first so sweet and the second so bittersweet. The thought of never getting to do that again felt painful, the idea that Sirius would return from the Burrow Hills injured, that Eater leering in triumph, or worse, not return at all. Oh, if he laid up in the hills in the wreck of a bike, in a ditch somewhere, and here was Remus, staring out at the winding roads, waiting, waiting, waiting.
“Hey! I see them!”
Remus’ heart leapt in his throat as he moved forward a pace, instinctively towards the sound of the engines cutting through the still evening air like a knife. The two riders came screaming into view and Remus easily picked out the lengths of Sirius’ hair in the wind, brown eyes fixed on his wonderful features. Sirius was in the lead, only by a few feet, torso pressed low to the body of his bike as it slid around the particularly sharp corner on the edge of the town.
But then, the Eater must’ve hit a patch of something that Sirius managed to avoid, because his bike jerked beneath him like a wild animal, and the next moment he was skidding along on his side. He careened into the ditch at the side of the road with a crash of undergrowth and the keening of metal against the tarmac.
The air stilled, the whole gathered crowd disbelieving, until James broke the silence beside him with a deafeningly loud whoop of celebration. All hell broke loose then, the Eaters running off down the road towards Riddle, who could be heard shouting obscenities over the roar of the bikes and the roar of the teens. Somewhere behind Remus, everyone was cheering, Mary was probably crying again, James and Marlene shouting and punching the air, but Remus didn’t care - he didn’t have eyes for anyone else but Sirius Black.
And he was a sight to behold, skidding to a halt in front of the group, hair sweat-damp, smile so infectious it could catch on the wind, and he was staring right at Remus. Before he could do anything, Remus tore across the gap between them, heart thudding in his chest, and threw his arms right around Sirius’ neck.
Sirius laughed as the wind got knocked out of him, his arms immediately coming up around Remus’ waist. “Hey, doll.”
Remus buried his face into Sirius’ neck, clutching the planes of his jacket, wanting to cry from sheer relief. “You did it!” Pulling back, he held Sirius at arms’ length, looking him over for any sign of injury. “Are you hurt?” His voice broke on the final word, seeing the scrapes of dirt along Sirius’ arm and leg, the corresponding scrapes down the side of his bike.
Sirius elegantly shrugged one shoulder, looking every bit the celluloid bad-boy. “Riddle tried to run me into a wall. You gotta try harder to get rid of me though, when I got someone like you to come back to.”
Remus just managed to huff a breath and pull Sirius back towards him again, not caring he was still astride the bike, not caring that he was pressed against him, that everyone was probably watching. James was probably still cheering, Lily clapping, smiling prettily, the twins and Peter and Ted and Frank and Mary all jumping for joy. But Remus didn’t care - he was here, with Sirius’ arms around him.
Sirius ran a hand through Remus’ hair, gently carding through the curls, and Remus lifted his head from the warmth of his neck to see the other boy smiling at him, molten quicksilver, so warm, so sharp, so open, just for him.
“Thank you.” Sirius touched a gentle fingertip to the high point of Remus’ cheek, where it bloomed with heat for him. “I had you with me, so thank you.”
Remus shook his head in disbelief, still pressed against Sirius, arms around his neck, one foot on the peg where Sirius’ boot also rested. “You’re the one who did it, you won. And you did it for us, didn’t you? For the Hollow, for- for James and Lily and everyone.”
Sirius smiled, his thumb rubbing in soft circles over the dip of Remus’ spine. “No, doll. I did it for you. Just for you. Everything else was just a bonus.”
“Oh, Sirius…” Remus leant in again, drawing his arms tight around Sirius’ shoulders. The warmth of the leather even through his suit jacket, the heady smell of petrol, the sweet tang of sweat, along with something so undeniably Sirius floating through it all set Remus’ heart pounding in his throat again.
Sirius chuckled and wrapped his arms around Remus’ waist, almost pulling him astride the bike as he buried his face into Remus’ hair. He could feel the shape of Sirius’ smile against the top of his head. A sharp wolf whistle cut through to them over the white noise of their surroundings, nothing important but the two of them, and Remus lifted his head from Sirius’ neck. He smiled sheepishly when he saw Caradoc and Ted, grinning ear to ear, James and Lily a half-step behind them.
Marlene shoved through the rest of the Marauders and strode over to Sirius, formidable through the stomp of her boots. “Put your boy down, Sirius! You two can neck later, come here and celebrate!”
Remus realised at once that he was practically on top of Sirius, and slid off the bike, blushing bright red despite the fact they definitely were not kissing and he definitely did not immediately miss the feel of Sirius’ arm around him.
“Alright, alright, Marl, calm down,” Sirius called as he stepped off the bike and pulled it to the side of the road, grinning ear to ear. Remus thought his heart-rate would never come back down, his heart would never fall back to its proper place in his chest, his mouth would never not feel dry again with how much he adored Sirius.
After a moment Sirius stepped away from the crowd. Remus bit his lip, went to follow, until he saw Sirius striding over to the Eaters. Riddle was back with them now, propped up between the blonde man and the girl with the wild hair. He looked roughed up, but conscious at least - not that I care, Remus thought with a viciousness that surprised him.
He couldn’t hear over the crowd, but Remus watched Sirius cross over, and after a short discussion, held his hand out to Riddle. Remus was transfixed, watching the exchange with his heart in his throat. But Riddle shook Sirius’ hand, short and sharp, and then Sirius smiled, syrup-slow, but not soft like he did at Remus. He smiled like a predator, and jerked his thumb over his shoulder to indicate the road behind them. Remus had the distinct feeling Sirius was telling them to get the hell out and never come back. The second spread out forever, Remus waiting as if something bad might happen, but then the Eaters seemed to step back and begin gathering their things.
Sirius watched, arms crossed now, the stalwart protector of their town, until they began filing away. Only then did Sirius cross back over to their group. He embraced James with an arm around his shoulder, obviously pleased and relieved.
Remus smiled, couldn’t help but smile at the pure joy radiating from the group, but then the crowds shifted and his father - no, Chief Lupin - stepped out from between the teens, between Mary and Dorcas laughing happily, Gideon and Fabian doting on Alice like a little sister, grinning ear to ear. Remus felt like his heart stop - Marlene was wrong, wasn’t she? They couldn’t neck later. They couldn’t do anything later, because he was never going to see Sirius ever again after tonight.
He closed his eyes briefly, thinking of all the wonderful times, of Sirius bringing him soup, sitting with him, tending to him. Of Sirius scaling the drainpipe outside of his room, of Sirius calling up to him and asking him to the Midsummer Dance, of Sirius smiling so sweetly when they held hands, dancing so wonderfully, teaching Remus the moves, leading him so kindly. Of Sirius’ kisses, kisses that tasted like cigarette smoke and strawberry milkshake and the meaning of the word queer and everything Remus had no idea even existed but now he couldn’t live without it.
“You guys!” Frank ran over to them, grinning ear to ear. “Chief Lupin says you can stay ’til morning!”
Cheers rang out through their little group - Mary started crying again - and even Dorcas gave a tidy sniff, followed by a glare to Caradoc if he even thought to say anything about it.
Peter was hot on Frank’s heels, looking equally wild and joyous. “He says so long as James’ bike is fixed by morning, because it’s late already, you can stay.” When he drew closer Peter dropped his voice a little. “I heard Ms McGonagall chewin’ him out.”
Relief flooded through Remus like the sea during that trip to the beach last year, like sinking into a warm bath after a long day, like - like looking at Sirius through the throngs of people, their eyes meeting, Sirius smiling like the sun.
“Hey, doll.” Sirius breathed, and the world dropped away. Nothing else was important, the sound faded to white noise again around them as Sirius reached out to take Remus’ hand. “Come somewhere with me?” Sirius drew him further away from the crowd, back towards his bike, still smiling, sun-bright, midday-glorious. “I want to show you something.”
“Yeah,” Remus breathed back, feeling as if he didn’t even need words for Sirius. “Yes… I’ve never ridden a bike though.”
Sirius smiled and let go of Remus’ hand to climb onto the bike. “Don’t worry doll, I’ll keep you right.” He held a hand to Remus, who took it without thinking, and guided him onto the pillion seat.
“Here, put your foot here. Now hold onto my shoulder, bring your leg over-” Remus did so, sliding onto the seat and slotting his body behind Sirius’, blood burning at the sheer amount of contact- “now hold on tight. I’ve got you.”
Remus nodded. “Mhmm, okay, I’m ready.” He tightened his arms around Sirius’ waist, feeling the planes of his abdomen through the white cotton, pressing his cheek into the angle of Sirius’ shoulder blade.
Sirius chuckled, almost to himself, before they pulled off into the night. Remus heard the calls of their friends behind them, but it all faded off to unimportance, because he had Sirius, and Sirius had him.
Sirius wasn’t entirely sure he hadn’t really died at the side of the Cadaver Road and now he was in Heaven, with Remus’ arms around his waist, his cheek pressed sweetly into Sirius’ shoulder. He was half expecting to see his body in one of the ditches as he manoeuvred the bike up the winding routes of the Burrow Hills towards the peak, but the roads - and the banks beside them - were blissfully empty. When they reached the viewing platform, Sirius pulled them to a stop and toed down the kickstand.
From this high up, he could see for miles, the clear sky between them, looking down over the little cluster of lights that must’ve been Godric’s Hollow. The full moon was shining, casting a beautiful light over the two of them in the warm solstice evening. Sirius turned on the bike and held his arm out for Remus.
“Here, doll…”
Remus took his hand, lacing their fingers as he stepped off the bike, a little ungainly and wobbly. Sirius watched his wide brown eyes flicker all over the vista before them, the moon reflecting every perfect bit of him. Sirius slid from the bike without detaching their hands, smiling, hell, he felt like he’d always be smiling from here on out. Even if he did need to leave the Hollow tomorrow morning, he would remember Remus, he would remember how perfect everything felt.
But tonight, at least, Sirius could live in the moment, not think about the morning, and just be with Remus. Remus looked awestruck, at the soft tumble of grass on the side of the hill, the play of the moonlight over it all, the view for miles, Hogsmeade’s lights glinting in the distance.
“We raced past here… And all I could think was how much I wanted you to see it, like this. It was so beautiful, I wanted to share it with you.” Sirius shucked his free hand through his hair, feeling breathless with it all, the vision of Remus in moonlight, the view behind him, eyes so sweet.
“I’ve seen it before, but never like this… Wow…” Remus squeezed his hand, stepping closer to Sirius. “The stars are so bright…”
“Yeah,” Sirius said, looking at Remus and feeling simultaneously queasy with the awful sweetness of it, and bubbling with how much he adored the boy beside him. “Beautiful, isn’t it.”
“Yeah…” Remus breathed back.
Damn it all, Sirius was so far gone. With a reluctance he had never felt before in his entire life, Sirius slid his fingers from Remus’ and pulled off his jacket. Beckoning Remus down the slight incline to a particularly lush looking patch of grass, Sirius laid his jacket onto the ground and watched Remus do the same.
Once they were settled, Sirius leaning back on his hands, chin tilted back, Remus at his side with his feet tucked beneath him, every bit of him shining in the moonlight, he let out a long sigh. The ground was still warm beneath their bodies, heated by the long summer days, the night still balmy, pleasantly so, just a lick of breeze around them tugging at the ends of Sirius’ hair. Even the scrape along his bicep - he’d need to get his bloody jacket repaired - seemed inconsequential. He tilted his head to look at Remus, who was staring out towards the horizon.
“This is perfect…”
Remus was silent for a moment, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, watching the distant headlamps of a car heading towards Hogsmeade in the valley below them. “I wish you didn’t have to leave tomorrow.”
“Oh doll…” Sirius shifted his weight onto one hand, lifting the other to brush a curl of hair from Remus’ temple. The other boy leant into the touch like a cat, turning his head to press his mouth to Sirius’ palm. He imagined there was a map in the lines there for Remus too, his way back to Sirius. “I wish I didn’t either… we’re lucky we got tonight, ain’t we?”
“I guess.”
Unable to take it any longer, Sirius leant over and pressed a kiss to Remus’ temple. To his utter delight, Remus sank into him immediately, nudging closer and laying his head on Sirius’ shoulder. “We do have tonight though. We have tonight and it’s been swell so far, right? Apart from the Eaters and- well, everything else. But if it’s just me and you then it’s been swell. The dance, you look so sweet in your suit Remus, I swear.”
Remus laughed, tilting his head back to peer up at Sirius with those wonderful eyes, the blush across his cheeks turned a silvered pink in the moonlight. “Oh can it, Sirius.”
“I mean it!” Sirius shot back, wrapping his arm around Remus’ shoulders to pull him against his chest. He exhaled softly, pressing another kiss, softer, more tender, to Remus’ brow bone. Remus hummed softly and shifted closer, his hand going around Sirius’ back to support himself.
“Don’t think about tomorrow, we can - we can just have tonight, okay?” Sirius whispered into russet curls as the other boy curled around him.
“Yeah…” Remus turned his head to brush his lips over Sirius’ shoulder. “I never thought I would get anything like this, you know…”
“Like what?” Sirius asked, absently stroking the shoulder seam of Remus’ jumper, feeling the lines of him relax into their embrace.
“Like… this, I don’t know… to be happy like this. It’s like a movie, isn’t it?” Remus muttered as his cheeks coloured a deeper pink, turning his face into Sirius’ shoulder.
He chuckled and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “It feels like a movie, to love someone like this.”
Remus shivered under his hand, lifting his head from Sirius’ shoulder to pin him with the most open expression, as if Sirius could see right through to his heart, right into his soul. “… Love someone?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s what this is… I love you, Remus.”
Remus grinned, a hand lifting to slide through a lock of Sirius’ hair just behind his ear, still sweat-damp from the race, Remus’ fingers warm and tender. Sirius turned and kissed the fragile ivory of his wrist. He looked utterly awestruck, pupils wide, lips parted. Sirius felt his pulse hammering against his mouth.
“I love you too Sirius… that’s mad… it’s been days but… I do love you.”
“It is mad… but I’m okay with mad. I’m okay with it all… I didn’t think that it would happen, either. My heart feels like it’s gonna burst.” Sirius enveloped Remus in a hug then, unused to the well of tenderness that had grown in his throat.
He was a greaser, an outlaw, the leader of a motorbike gang, not scared of anything. But here he was, baring his soul it felt like, curled up under the moon with a boy who held every bit of Sirius in the palm of his hand. His whole life had veered onto another track, it felt like reality had shifted completely, everything was different, priorities had changed entirely. Sirius buried his face into Remus’ hair, loving the way the other boy curled into him, hooked his fingers through the cotton of Sirius’ shirt, their bodies slotting together.
Sirius pressed kiss after kiss into Remus’ hair, shivering at every exhalation of Remus’ breath over his neck, until Remus pulled back, his eyes bright. “Remus… Can I kiss you again?”
“Yes, please,” Remus answered, already leaning into their embrace, smiling and glittering and practically glowing.
Their lips met. Remus still tasted like lemonade and chocolate, so sweet, so perfect as Sirius coaxed him into the kiss. He almost felt faint without how much he loved Remus, how well the other boy fit in his arms, winding around his waist, pressing their torsos together. Sirius parted their lips with a little puff of hot breath, and Remus made the most wonderful noise in response, a low hum from his throat that Sirius felt rumble through his own chest. Remus’ hands tangled into his hair, sliding through the swaths of black ink like his fingers were just meant to curl there, hold on tight and never let him go.
Sirius pressed closer, encouraged by Remus’ hands, the way his body had gone pliant against his, a quiet little keening noise coming from the back of his throat, and tilted his head to deepen the kiss a fraction. Time seemed unimportant, as unimportant as a scrape over his arm, the town laid out beneath them, the impending doom of the sunrise a few hours off. The only thing that mattered was Remus, how right he felt in Sirius’ arms, how wonderful his fingers felt in Sirius’ hair, how perfect it all felt to be loved.
Remus dropped his head back, gasping softly. His lips were kiss-bitten and pink; Sirius thought it was the sweetest he’d ever looked, his blood thrumming hot through his body with love and affection.
“Damn it all, Remus, you are so beautiful.”
“James Dean and Marlon Brando got nothin’ on you, Sirius.” Remus laughed and pressed a kiss to the corner of Sirius’ mouth. He had never looked more carefree, and it was all Sirius could do to cling to that expression and not think about the morning.
With a sigh, Sirius eased himself back onto the jackets, stretching his legs out to stare up at the sky. Remus went with him, curled to his side, his head just on Sirius’ shoulder like it was the only place for it, like they fit together so well it was impossible not to.
“We used to stargaze at the barracks.” Sirius pulled a cigarette from his jacket pocket and struck a match one-handed to light it between his lips. He let the smoke drift up between them, soft circles up towards the stars.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, used to climb onto the roof when we were too wired to sleep and look for the constellations…” Sirius pressed a kiss into Remus’ hair and raised the arm not around his shoulders to point out the Dog Star. “There’s me - Sirius, that is.”
Remus hummed something that shot Sirius through with happiness, vibrated along his insides like the resonance of a string pulled taut. He closed his eyes against the rush of feeling. Just think of tonight, we have tonight.
“Oh yeah, I see the dog.” Remus grinned, his voice light and melodious, teasing as he pressing a sweet kiss to his cheek.
Sirius rolled his eyes. “Let’s find a wolf then, hm, Remus Lupin?” He smiled back for a moment before turning up to the star-filled sky to search for a cluster of light that looked even a fraction as beautiful as Remus.
“Mhmm, like looking in the clouds for shapes.” Remus murmured, tucking into his side, one arm across Sirius’ midriff, gently rising and falling under his touch, relaxed, warm and pliant and so present.
After a while, Sirius lifted his free arm and pointed idly at a group of stars that looked vaguely lupine, the blurred suggestion of ears and a snout. “There, that’s you look, Mr. Wolf.” When he didn’t hear anything from Remus after a moment, Sirius dropped his arm and turned his head to see the other boy soundly asleep, lips parted, hair falling into his eyes, eyelashes casting soft curls of shadow over his cheekbones.
Sirius smiled, smiled so much it felt like his face was about to fall off, and shifted slightly to press a kiss to Remus’ forehead. He drifted to sleep wound around Remus, arms around his shoulders, face in his hair, determined to make sure that with or without him, Remus Lupin would be safe.
Remus came to in the sleepy embers of sunrise, his face pressed into Sirius’ shoulder. For a moment he jolted, in that strange state between dreaming and waking, imagining he had spent the night with Sirius, the taste of his strawberry-and-cigarette skin under his tongue. When he shifted closer, bringing his limbs out of their sleepiness with a soft stretch, Sirius moved and tightened an arm around his shoulders. His eyes flickered open and oh, they were so quicksilver in the morning light, so beautiful.
“Morning, doll.” His voice was scratchy and Remus’ insides twisted sweetly at the idea of hearing it every morning in his ear.
“Hi…” Remus cleared his throat, turning his head just enough to look at the sunrise over the valley. “This is beautiful…” But as soon as the words came out of his mouth, he realised what the sunrise would bring. Sirius had to leave. The Marauders had to leave Godric’s Hollow on the order of his father, and he would be left wondering if it were all a fever dream, this saccharine wave pulling his insides.
“It is…” Sirius pressed a kiss to his hair; Remus felt the shape of his lips burnt into his skin, to be there forever. “We have a little while, don’t we?” Sirius checked the battered watch that hung from his wrist without moving away from Remus one inch. “Yeah… it’s only just four-thirty. Sleep a little longer, if you like.”
“No,” Remus breathed, stretching up to press a kiss to Sirius’ jaw because it just looked so alluring in the sunlight. He could still scarcely believe it, that they were here together. “I want to make the most of this.”
Sirius smiled, turned his head just a fraction to capture Remus’ lips in the softest kiss that made his head spin. His heart in his throat - would it ever slip back down? - Remus kissed back, still sleepy, open and affectionate, curling into the warmth of Sirius’ lengths, the closeness of him that he might never get back. Remus reached up and tangled a hand through Sirius’ hair, thumb brushing over his temple, wondering if his body had known how to do this all along, or if it was all Sirius, showing him the meaning of the word queer.
Sirius pressed forward, easing Remus onto his back, cushioned by their jackets, and sank over him, kissing him so tenderly. Remus felt like warm honey, melding into the summer grass around him, Sirius above him, the long rangy plains of his body pressed so close, and he couldn’t help but moan softly into the kiss. He didn’t even know where the noise came from, quite certain he hadn’t ever made a noise like that before, but Sirius responded with a noise that set Remus’ insides thrumming.
Bolstered by it, Remus ran his hands over Sirius’ shoulders, so broad and firm, exploring the boy above him like he had wanted to explore nothing else. Sirius pressed closer, tangling his legs with Remus’, one hand by his head to prop him up. Sirius kissed like Remus imagined he would, wildly, striding into the town of his mouth and causing havoc in the coffee bar of his throat. Then his tongue - his tongue! - swiped over Remus’ bottom lip, hot and wet and Remus gasped at the responding shudder of pleasure his body gave. Remus shifted beneath him, stroking down Sirius’ back, over his shoulders, his arms, through the lengths of his hair curling through his fingertips as Sirius’ tongue coiled against his, gently inquisitive, warm and reassuring. Sirius hummed softly as Remus leant up, clinging to his shoulders to respond with a swipe of his own tongue in a courage-filled bid to give Sirius the same pleasure that was coursing through his own veins.
Remus was lost to it, the warm exploration of Sirius’ mouth over his, pausing for breath, lips sticking slightly through puffs of hot air, tongues curling together, smiling through little hums of pleasure. Remus had never felt more alive.
Then Sirius shifted closer, sank his torso against Remus’, and the heat of his groin pressed against Remus’, against the burgeoning hardness there. Remus gasped into the kiss, taken aback by the jolt of pleasure, even through both of their clothes.
“This okay?” Sirius whispered into his lips, pulling back a little, but his crotch was still pressed against Remus’ and suddenly every cell in his body was screaming for Remus to shift his hips for friction, for attention, for touch. Sirius just waited, panting softly, black hair in a curtain around them, his eyes so bright like the finest silverware for only the most special of occasions.
“Yeah,” Remus breathed, lifting his hips to press against Sirius’ in a motion that seemed to take them both by surprise. Remus didn’t know where the idea came from, but he just knew he needed something.
“Ah, hell-” Sirius panted, pressing his mouth against the line of Remus’ jaw. Then he ground his hips down against Remus’, and oh, it was like his brain just stopped working entirely. Everything was just pleasure, desire like Remus had never felt before - he rarely touched himself anyway and it was never like this. Remus tilted his head to kiss Sirius again, desperate for something he didn’t quite know the name of.
They moved together seamlessly, Sirius rolling his hips, pressed close, Remus whimpering softly at the apex of every movement. Even through their trousers - goodness, Remus couldn’t imagine what this felt like skin on skin - Remus couldn’t think straight, all he could think was Sirius, chasing after a shooting star, panting into their kiss, shuddering with every press of Sirius’ lips, every roll of their hips.
“Oh, Sirius, oh-”
“This okay?” Sirius breathed, quicksilver eyes, one hand coming up to cup Remus’ cheek. “You okay?” His voice sounded so hoarse, breathless with want, and it only seemed to ignite something further in Remus, made him realise that he wanted too.
“Yes, yes yes, please don’t stop.” Remus stroked his hands down Sirius’ back, clutching him tighter, wanting to remember this moment for the rest of his life, wanting to think about nothing but how much he loved this, how much he loved Sirius.
Sirius shifted a little, one hand stroking over Remus’ thigh as they kissed languidly, panting into each others’ mouths. Remus didn’t quite know where to put his hands, unable to settle, ranging over the lengths of Sirius’ limbs, the long planes of his back, his shoulders, biceps, occasionally emboldened, straying over the curve of his behind that made Remus’ mouth water and head spin in equal measures.
“Remus…” Sirius’ eyes fluttered, and Remus thought he was just the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, all quicksilver eyes and smiles and that hair falling down around them just so and oh, the friction of his groin against Remus’. That hot, hard part of Sirius pressed against the crease of his hip, the top of Sirius’ thigh against his own crotch, every movement turning his bones to jelly, making his insides churn, stoking a fire in the pit of his stomach. Sirius’ mouth on his jaw, over the curve of his neck, to the corner of his mouth, occasionally pulling away enough to pin Remus with a rapturous look.
“Sirius, I- ah-” Remus’ mouth fell slack at the rush of pleasure that snapped through him like the release of an elastic band, like the striking of a match, the hiss of steam from a boiling kettle. His whole body tensed, shuddering under Sirius, so warm and firm, a silent cry into the mild June air. Remus felt like he should’ve been embarrassed by the warmth seeping at the waistband of his trousers, but he wasn’t. Instead, riding out the slow wave of his orgasm with Sirius pressed against him, Remus was more concerned with the look of sheer wonder on the other boys’ face.
“Remus, hell- you are so beautiful-” Sirius ushered out between the soft stick of their kisses, his tongue curling over the seam of Remus’ lips. Then, a moment later, Sirius groaned, biting his own bottom lip, his eyes shutting for a moment. Remus felt his thighs quivering against his own and just held on tight to Sirius’ shoulders so he could pull them both through the flood of all this feeling out the other side.
Sirius pitched to the side and pulled Remus against him, both of them gently shivering in the dawn light. Remus wasn’t sure how long it had been when Sirius sat up and untied the bandana from around the arm of his leather jacket on the grass. He passed it to Remus, and for once, as a teenage boy, Remus understood. It was all a little embarrassing, the two of them caught on a hillside after some kind of romp - Remus supposed you would call it that, he didn’t really know the word for it, floating too high on wonder and pleasure - with the remnants of it marring their pants.
Remus found himself giggling a little as Sirius shoved the bandana back in his jacket pocket.
“What?” Sirius asked on a laugh himself, sitting forward, propped on one hand to peer at Remus with those disarming quicksilver eyes.
“Nothing, I just- can’t believe any of this.” Remus rubbed a hand self-consciously over his cheek.
“It was okay?” Sirius shot back, quirking one eyebrow, looking unsure for a moment, nudging closer to Remus. Remus tipped his head onto Sirius’ shoulder, pressing his lips in a gesture of reassurance to Sirius’ neck.
“It was wonderful.”
Sirius huffed a sigh of relief. “You were wonderful, doll. So beautiful.”
Remus found himself laughing again, giggling softly into Sirius’ neck, still feeling a little like he was floating. Sirius ducked his head to capture Remus’ lips in a soft, idle kiss, loving. They kissed and kissed, the sun slowly rising over the valley, Remus only concentrating on the soft, smoky taste of Sirius’ lips against his.
They fell back breathless, the sky brighter around them, warmed with rising sun and lingering pleasure, Remus laughing with the insurmountable incredulity of it all, how his heart hurt so much with it all. “I love you, Sirius.”
Sirius bloomed like a hundred flowers and a hundred sunrises passed over his beautiful face. “I love you too.” He paused a moment, his eyes flickering over Remus’ face, as if he were memorising every inch, before Sirius joined his hands and eased a signet ring from his pinky finger. “Hey… would you wear this for me?” He looked uncharacteristically shy, the dawn light pink over the tops of his cheeks.
Remus didn’t even need to think of an answer. “Yeah, yes. Of course.” None of this needed thinking about. No part of his relationship with Sirius needed thinking about, he just knew. The words came right up out of his heart and spilled out of his mouth.
But it was all worth it as Sirius took his hand and slid the ring easily onto his pinky finger as it was a little slimmer than his. He sealed it with a kiss to each of Remus’ knuckles, then a soft press to the back of his hand just like he did on that first night.
How so much had changed, and now Remus had to try and go back to normal. He tried to sniff away the tears gathering in his eyes but Sirius noticed them, brushed them away from his lashes with the pad of his thumb. Remus looked up to see his grey eyes looking similarly watery, and it killed him.
“I don’t want you to go,” he said as he wrapped his arms around Sirius’ neck again, unwilling to let him go.
Sirius’ hands ranged the length of his back as he kissed the top of his head. “I’ve got to, doll. It’ll cause more trouble otherwise. We’ll figure something out…”
Remus just nodded, breathing in everything so Sirius to try and sear it into his memory. He didn’t know how long they stayed like that, wrapped in each other, cataloguing every moment, sealing it all away in the recesses of their hearts. When Remus finally pulled away, giving a tidy sniff to banish the threatening tears and seeing Sirius do the same, the sun was fully risen, and the rest of the world was starting to come back to life in the valley beneath them.
They stood, clumsy with the stiffness that came with sleeping outside, and shrugged back on their jackets. Sirius laughed as he brushed the grass from Remus’ suit and he thought it was the sweetest sound.
“We’ll figure something out,” Sirius reiterated as he slid onto the bike and helped Remus on with the same gentle coaxing as the night before. Remus tightened his arms around Sirius’ middle and wondered how he could ever let go again.
“Take me with you,” he muttered into Sirius’ jacket as the other boy pulled the bike out of the viewing point and back to Godric’s Hollow.
For a moment, he didn’t think Sirius had heard, but then he turned his head slightly, eyes still on the road. “I can’t do that, doll. Can’t do that to you.” His tone was soft enough, but Remus sighed softly, knowing instantly that no amount of pleading would change his mind.
It was a stupid idea anyway. Remus Lupin wouldn’t suit life on the road, wouldn’t suit a leather jacket and grease in his hair, would get too sick after a while and the Marauders couldn’t exactly be pressed with the burden of looking after him.
By the time they reached the edge of Godric’s Hollow, Remus’ heart had turned to lead and his arms had turned to stone around Sirius’ middle. He didn’t think he could do it, didn’t think he could have everything he wanted in life dangled in front of him and then snatched away.
They passed the Pettigrew Garage first, the bike slowed to a crawl as if to prolong the journey, unwilling to come to the end of it.
Marlene’s bright blonde hair caught the sunlight as she and Peter leant over the bonnet of a car on the forecourt, Mr. Pettigrew overseeing them with a wide smile on his face, arms crossed over his chest. Marlene had rolled her sleeves up, tied a scarf securely around her hair to keep it out of her eyes, and was battling with some part of the engine, Peter on her other side.
Strange, Remus thought. He assumed the Marauders would be gathering their things by now. But Dorcas and Mary were sat on a low brick wall outside of the forecourt, watching Marlene and Peter with knowing smiles on their lips. Mary was wearing an adventurous shade of raspberry on her lips, and the scarf in her hair looked so perfectly tied. Remus frowned as they passed by, turning his cheek against Sirius’ jacket.
The church loomed into view a moment later, the adjacent Hall doors thrown open, boxes on the pavement, the evidence of the dance the night before that seemed so long ago in Remus’ mind scattered around to be tidied and sorted. Gideon came out of the hall, arms laden high with boxes, banners and other decorations, and held the door open with one foot for Reverend Longbottom, who gave him a warm smile as he passed through. They were clearly working in tandem, other people moving around in the Hall to tidy up, and Gideon was grinning his typical grin, ear to ear and unapologetic.
“Sirius?” Remus shifted a little to mutter in the other boy’s ear, thoroughly confused now. He expected the other Marauders to be as glum as he felt, as reluctant to leave, but instead, they all seemed jovial, basking in early morning light and carrying on as if everything was fine.
“Yeah…” Sirius threaded the bike into the small car park next to Evans’s and switched off the engine. “It’s strange… ain’t it?”
As Remus slid from the bike - it was getting easier every time - and took Sirius’ offered hand, Bones crossed the road between the Church Hall and the coffee bar with a box of glasses on one shoulder. Sirius went to call out to him, but he was already up the steps - with a little too much spring in his step, Remus thought - and through the door by the time he had opened his mouth.
Sirius frowned, pressed a reassuring kiss to Remus’ hand, and tugged them gently towards the coffee bar. He held the door open for Remus, who ducked in, unwilling to let go of his hand.
The coffee bar was busy for this early on a Sunday morning, people filtering back and forth. Remus saw Lily and James first, tucked in a booth, James’ arm securely around Lily’s shoulders, the redhead grinning from ear to ear. Mrs. Evans was opposite them, a look of happiness on her face that Remus thought he hadn’t seen in years.
He saw Fabian next, at the counter, cigarette tucked behind his ear, operating the coffee machine with the skill of a seasoned waiter. He flashed Sirius a grin as they walked in, then stepped beside Petunia to pull together an order. Even Petunia, who looked glum most of the time, seemed to smile gingerly at the proffered help.
Remus was sure he was frowning, holding tight onto Sirius’ hand, feeling the uncertainty coming off him in waves too. Caradoc called an order through from the kitchen where he was working alongside Mr. Evans, and Fabian answered with a whistle, easing past Petunia to save her the trouble.
“Sirius! Remus!” Lily and James called in some awful unison from their booth. Mrs. Evans stood from her seat with a murmured something to the couple before she slipped off to the kitchen.
Sirius chuckled at the immediate synchronicity of their friends and lead them through the tables to their friends. “James-” he started, stepping aside to let Remus slide into the booth first, then sitting next to him, their thighs pressed together- “What’s going on?”
Before James could answer, grinning ear to ear, a shadow fell across the table.
“Remus.” His father was standing before them, out of uniform now, looking much less stern now in a thick jumper and corduroy trousers. “I’ve told the others, but you two… weren’t here.”
Remus felt his cheeks flush vermillion and was instantly aware he was holding Sirius’ hand, pressed closer to him than two boys normally should be. But Sirius just smiled, staring up at his father in a challenge - go on, say something.
Lyall cleared his throat. “It seems I made a rash judgement of sorts last night.”
Remus’ heart soared. Sirius gripped his hand so tight he thought their skin would just meld together. He wouldn’t mind it.
“I… tarred your friends with the same brush as other gangs we’ve had the misfortune of dealing with here in the past… but happily, others here have proved me wrong. So, I thought Godric’s Hollow could use some fresh faces.”
Remus choked on thin air, looking incredulously at Sirius, who seemed as stunned as he did, before looking across to Lily and James. Both of them were grinning ear to ear, the picture of loveliness, like movie stars, the pretty redhead and the dark-haired greaser. Lily nodded as she reached over to pat Remus’ arm.
Lyall smiled softly and nodded, a short, sharp thing full of approval, even if he didn’t say it. “See you at home tonight for dinner, Remus.” He turned away from the table and paused a half-step away, glancing back over his shoulder. “Perhaps you can bring your friend.”
Remus gaped, blinking rapidly and wondering if he was still asleep on the hillside with Sirius, and this was all some tremendous grief-dream.
Sirius squeezed his hand and smiled a charming quicksilver smile. “That’d be real swell, Chief Lupin. I’d be honoured.”
Lyall nodded again and strode out of the coffee bar, apparently unaware of the wreckage he had left behind, in the most fantastic way. Remus watched him go, waited for the door to stop swinging, and looked back to the table, still jittering with disbelief.
Sirius caught his jaw in the warmth of his palm and brought him in for the sweetest kiss, more smiles than lips, but he didn’t care. Remus’ heart was soaring, made of leather jackets and cigarettes and quicksilver smiles.
As they settled back into the booth, calling over to Fabian for a strawberry milkshake to share, Remus grinned in satisfaction and thought, well, the sign needs updating.
Welcome to Godric’s Hollow, Devon
Population: 1,031
Chapter 6: Slang Dictionary
Chapter Text
My betas suggested a slang dictionary of sorts for any slang you might be intrigued by in this fic. I had a lot of fun putting this together! If there's any words you're intrigued by, leave a comment and we can chat slang together!
Beano: A weekly comic book published in the UK, with characters such as Dennis the Menace and the Bash Street Kids. Weekly circulation in 1950 was nearly 2 million copies!
(Hep) Cat: A hip or cool person. James Dean was a real cat!
Fuzz: Police. Not particularly derogatory or complimentary! Probably came from the police radio static.
Kookie: Crazy, nuts. In the nicest possible way.
Pedal Pushers: calf-length slim trousers, quite similar to capri pants.
Poodle Skirt: A wide circle skirt, usually plain coloured, with an applique near the hem - mostly poodle dogs, but sometimes flamingos, flowers or other designs. Touted as the first ‘teenage fashion’.