Archive of Our Own ^beta

     Somehow, someway, even after five years of chaos, the other members of BTS still haven’t learned that it’s a stupid, stupid move to leave the two maknaes alone and bored. It’s only half the time that they stay contented with simple gaming; the other half of the time it’s likely they’ll start some impulsive bet that they both end up regretting later.

    Today is one of those days where their boredom leads to one of those bets.

    And this bet just so happens to be on who can drink a mini keg of hobgoblin the fastest--five litres of beer. It doesn’t occur to either of them that the human stomach is not designed to hold nearly that much of any kind of liquid, or that they’ll feel so, so sick after this. To the two of them, it’s nothing more than a way to kill time; drinking a litre over the maximum stomach capacity is no biggie at all.

Taehyung and Jungkook had enough rationality to choose to do this outside. Initially, they’d intended on drinking it from the tap, but it didn’t take long for them to decide that stabbing holes in the top of the metal was easier. Sure, only half of the liquid made it to their mouths initially, the other half soaking their shirts, but it worked well enough.

It’s when Tae pulls away from the keg to give a horribly sick-sounding, loud, long belch that the two realize just what they’ve gotten themselves into.

    Do they care? No. No, they do not.

And after a remark of “holy shit,” from Jungkook and a snarky smirk from Taehyung, the two go back to drinking.

    Tae pulls away to gag a few minutes later, and he groans dramatically.

    “This was-- urrrp --you’re-- hic! --idea,” Jungkook reminds, pausing to catch his breath and letting out a string of strained belches in the process.

    Taehyung rolls his eyes and laughs, swallowing thickly. He’s not giving up, and that much is clear. Once he thinks he can keep everything down for the moment, he goes right back to chugging.

    He’s very wrong to think that his stomach was settled enough to make that choice. It’s only a few moments after he goes back to his attempts at beating Jungkook in this stupid challenge that he has to put the keg back down. He barely has a moment to turn away before a good third of everything he just drank comes surging up his throat, doubling him over. Jungkook chokes, surprised, pulling away. He’d known Tae was the projectile-vomiting-type, but that was a hell of a lot of liquid for this early in the challenge; how much has he already drank?

    “Christ,” Jungkook gives through a fit of coughing and giggling, starting to feel a bit nauseous himself. He’d been taking things at a much slower pace than Tae--slow and steady wins the race, right?--and therefore isn’t puking his guts up just yet. He pats the older boy on the back as he brings up another wave of pure beer with a gurgling retch. Taehyung takes a breath, stands straight, and goes right back to drinking, thinking he’d cleared enough space to put more in his body.

    Taehyung is, once again, very wrong. He burps up twice as much as he just drank in seconds after trying to ingest anything more. Jungkook is astonished by the pure amount of puke that’s already soaked the ground around them. He’s also somewhat surprised that he isn’t throwing up yet.

    Taehyung is persistent, and he continues trying to drink more. And then he continues puking it back up. It’s not human, the sheer amount of vomit that barrels up his throat at once, and the way he keeps bringing up more with each sip he takes. Jungkook doesn’t know how the hell he keeps going right back to drinking. Doesn’t he have to breathe at some point?

    By the time Tae’s drank (and regurgitated) around half his keg and popped a squat to try and catch his breath, Jungkook finally breaks. After a slew of strained burps that teetered on gags, he finally lurches to the side with a heave. And another. And another. His stomach has him again and again, and he doesn’t get a chance to breathe between streams of sick. He doesn’t realize he just puked all over Tae’s leg.

    “Oh, you ass,” Tae complains jokingly through a fit of laughter.

    Jungkook wipes his mouth, coughs, and then starts laughing as well. “Sorry!”

    Taehyung gets him right back by giving a projectile wave of liquid in Jungkook’s general direction, which happens to soak the younger man’s pant leg as well.

    “Oh, thanks.”

    “No problem, Kook.”
   
    By the time the two finally give up--as in, they’ve drank most of the beer, puked it back up, and lost track of who got how far and when--Tae’s still projectile vomiting and laughing through it, Jungkook can’t stop burping after two rounds of back-to-back puking, and they’re both soaked in beer (both from the kegs and from their stomachs.)

    It’s just as they’ve finally managed to breathe somewhat steadily again that they’re hearts stop for a whole different reason.

    “What the fuck did you two do?”

    Yoongi’s voice is menacing.

    The two exchange glances--pained looks of mutual regret.

    “Well, you see…”

    The sad part of the whole thing is that they still didn’t learn their lesson even after all the scolding they’d gotten that night.

    At least they could check beer off the list of things they’d tried to chug.