Work Text:
Yoongi: He’s here
Hoseok: Who?
Yoongi: Tae
Yoongi: I’m leaving
Hoseok: I’m going to be there in five minutes Yoongi. It’ll be fine.
Yoongi: He’s with someone.
Yoongi: Hobi he’s with someone
Hoseok: I’ll meet you in the bathroom, okay?
I beelined it straight to the bathroom, pretty sure I was going to throw up anyway. I hadn’t seen Taehyung in almost a year. I told everyone I was over him, that it wouldn’t affect me if I saw him again. The problem was, I was lying.
I don’t recognize who he’s with but he’s nothing like me. He’s taller, handsome, muscles for days, and a soft smile that shows he obviously cares. He’s all the things I’m not and I’m sure Taehyung loves it. He always told me I didn’t smile enough. I love your smile hyung but I rarely see it. I didn’t realize I was crying until Hoseok arrived.
“Hey. Hey, it’s okay. If you can’t perform tonight, it’s okay. We can cancel.”
“We’re not canceling because I’m a fucking idiot who can’t handle seeing his ex. We worked too hard for this.”
“Do you have your meds?”
“Of course I do.”
“Did you take one?”
“Of course not. I want to be okay without them.”
“I understand Yoongi, I do. This is a giant loop though. You weren’t expecting this. Take one, okay? You need to calm down. You won’t be able to perform if you’re like this.”
“But the set list…I can’t do Tomorrow.”
“It’s a fan favorite.”
“I never should have written that song.”
“Maybe it’ll be good for you. It’ll be good for your process. You know he’s here and he can hear the song you wrote for him.”
“You’re right. My therapist will probably say the same thing.”
“Seokjin is a smart man.”
“You just think he’s handsome. I’m on to you Hobi.”
“Who doesn’t think he’s handsome?” This makes me laugh. He’s right, of course. Hobi and Namjoon had gawked at my therapist the first time they’d met him. It was by chance at the grocery store about four months ago.
“Namjoon, Yoongi. Look at this guy. Is he real? Jesus, he’s the most attractive man I’ve ever seen.”
“I’m offended Hobi.”
“Shut up Yoongles. Look at him!” I turned around and found the man Hobi was discussing.
“Oh. That’s Seokjin.”
“Wait, YOU KNOW HIM?”
“He’s my therapist.” Just then, Seokjin turned and saw me. He smiled, genuine and kind.
“Yoongi. It’s nice to see you outside of my boring office.”
“Hi Seokjin.”
“You two must be Hoseok and Namjoon. I’m Seokjin.” The two idiots didn’t even react to him reaching his hand out, they were too busy staring.
“They’re idiots, sorry.” Seokjin chuckled.
“So I’ve heard. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow. You’re looking really good Yoongi.”
“Thanks Seokjin. See you tomorrow.”
Since that day, Hobi and Namjoon had made an effort to pick me up or drop me off at my sessions, hoping for a glimpse of my therapist. I wasn’t about to tell them that he had told me at our next session that Hobi was incredibly handsome. It was probably pretty unprofessional of him to say anyway.
Back to reality, I took the pill with a handful of water from the faucet.
“Jimin just texted me. We’re up next. You going to be okay?”
“Yeah. I’ll be fine. I just won’t look at the audience.”
“Hey. We’re right here for you, okay? All of us, even Jimin. He’s a brat, but he loves you hyung.”
“Thanks Hobi. Let’s fucking go then.”
I knew that Taehyung hadn’t seen me yet. He had his back to me the whole time I’d been watching him. He didn’t know my stage name, didn’t know I was rapping at actual shows now. He didn’t come here expecting to see me. He didn’t do this on purpose. He’s not that type of person. He’s been great about not going to places he knows I love. I thought I saw him at our favorite coffee shop a few months ago, but it ended up being my imagination.
As the MC introduces the group, I can feel the Xanax kicking in. Or I think it’s kicking in. I can feel myself calming down. I register someone standing next to me. It’s Jimin.
“Hyung, you’re going to be so amazing out there.”
“Thanks Jiminie.”
“If you need to, just look at me okay? I love you hyung.”
“I love you too brat.”
Jimin was a relatively new friend. He’d only known me post-Taehyung and he never judged me when I broke down, he never laughed at me when I cried. He was always there to hold me and tell me it’d be okay. He was very quickly promoted to the status of best friend with Namjoon and Hobi.
Namjoon goes first, doing an upbeat song. Hoseok will go next. He decided to do his newest jam, Baseline. Then it’s Jimin and I. My fans favorite song is Tomorrow and of course it’s about Taehyung. Then after my horrible depressing song, we do three more songs as a group. All of them are upbeat and fun. I’m the only depressing one in the group.
I hear the last few beats of Baseline and I know it’s my turn. Jimin steps out as the music starts. I hide in the back, rapping my lines while Jimin is front and center singing his parts. His voice is gorgeous and he can break it just enough to make it seem like he’s been through the same pain I have. The first verse starts and I slowly walk out to the stage. I keep my eyes closed, knowing that they’ll gravitate straight to Taehyung.
Suga.
The memories that ripped apart my heart rip the days of the calendar and fades away like the end of the year.
I live as I pretend to forget you.
My world still hasn’t changed.
You’re still not there.
People tell me I’ll look back and laugh, even though I have a hard time turning my head that used to face you.
I don’t want to hear it but why do they keep blabbering?
I’m lingering my gaze from your direction.
Don’t say that ‘the sun will rise tomorrow’ because it will be a darker morning than a night with you.*
I feel Jimin’s hand slip in to mine as a tear falls from my closed eyes. I turn and face him, finally opening my eyes. He’s smiling directly at me. After the chorus, I feel pumped. I turn my head to face the audience, hand still intertwined with Jimin’s. I see his head out of the corner of my eye, so I keep my eyes on the right side of the audience. I can feel myself slipping back into my normal performance groove.
The ending of the song is my favorite. Jimin and I’s voices are overlapping and it sounds amazing. The moment it’s over, Namjoon and Hobi are jumping back on stage and the new beat starts up. I get lost in the music, lost in the songs about happiness and having fun. I forget he’s there, for just a few minutes.
Our set is over after the final three songs. On our way back to the dressing room, Jimin squeals.
“Kookie!” In the edge of my vision, I see him running over to a man. He jumps in his arms and kisses him.
“Must be that boyfriend he keeps talking about,” Namjoon says. Then his tone does a 180 and he's pulling me away. “Oh shit. Yoongi, let’s get in the dressing room.”
“Guys, come over here and meet Kookie.”
“Not now Jimin. Group meeting in the dressing room, okay? We’ll meet him after.”
Namjoon is pulling me so fast, I don’t have a moment to look at ‘Kookie’ before I’m in the dressing room.
“Hyung, that was rude. You guys keep asking about meeting Kookie and now –”
“He’s with Tae.”
“Yeah, that’s his best friend.”
“Why would you fucking invite him here Jimin?” Namjoon is practically shouting.
“Hey. Don’t yell at Jimin. He didn’t know, okay? He wouldn’t do that to me. He’d never hurt me like that. He didn’t know Joon.”
“What are you fucking screaming about Joon?”
“Jimin. His best friend is Taehyung. My ex Taehyung.” Jimin’s eyes go wide and he drops on to the couch.
“That makes you…that makes you Yoon. You’re Yoon.”
“I guess?”
“I swear to god I didn’t know Yoongi. I promise. I’d never have said he could come. I didn’t think…I didn’t put the pieces together. I’ve never even seen a photo of your Tae! How was I supposed to know?”
“I know Jiminie, I know. I’m not mad at you, okay?”
“Jimin. Want to explain why you called him Yoon,” Hoseok asks.
“Umm…well. I’ve been dating Jungkook for almost three years. He and Tae met last year, around July. Tae was at a bar, really fucking drunk, and kept trying to get in Kook’s pants. We thought it was cute, until he started crying. You’re his ex, he calls you Yoon. You’re the one he cries about. I can’t believe I didn’t fucking put the pieces together. I’m so fucking stupid.” Jimin’s crying now, so I sit next to him and pull him into my chest.
“Jimin, we’re not mad at you. Yes, Tae is my ex. He’s the one I wrote Tomorrow about, he’s the one who broke my stupid fucking heart. It’s okay that you didn’t put it together, we never talk about him.”
“I know why you broke up.”
“That makes one of us. It’s always been a mystery to me.”
“It’s stupid hyung. It’s not my place to tell you, but you should talk to him.”
“I can’t even look at him without having an anxiety attack Jiminie. I can’t. I’m happy to meet Jungkook, although that’s probably going to be super awkward now. Want to invite them in?”
“You sure Yoongi? If he comes in, Taehyung will to.” Namjoon looks angry and concerned.
“It’s fine Namjoon. I can do this. I’ll meet that dumb boy Jiminie literally never fucking shuts up about, it’ll be super awkward, and I’ll cry myself to sleep later. Let’s go!”
After a few worried glances, Namjoon left the room.
“You don’t have to do this Yoongi.”
“Jiminie, you’re one of my best friends. I think I can get over myself for a few minutes and meet your boyfriend.”
“I love you hyung.”
“I love you too kiddo.” At that moment, Jungkook came through the door followed by a meek looking Taehyung. I squeezed Jimin one last time before standing and walking over to the boys.
“You must be Jungkook. I’m Yoongi, nice to meet you. You can call me hyung if you want”
“Hi. Yeah, nice to meet you Yoongi hyung.” The handshake was firm and I felt the need to stand up straight.
“Jiminie never shuts up about you. It’s pretty annoying, but he’s cute so we always forgive him.”
“He talks about you a lot too. The magical rapper who put him in his song. He loves singing and you guys all really brought him out of his shell.” I refuse to look at Taehyung, but I can see most of his face while I’m looking at Jungkook. He’s been staring at me since he walked through the door.
“I’m glad. We always thought we were missing something for the first couple of months and Jimin really completed us. It’s amazing how quickly he molded into our group.”
“He’s always been a social butterfly.” I hear Jimin giggle.
“Shut up Kookie. You know I secretly hate everyone.”
“That’s why you have over 200 contacts in your phone,” Taehyung almost whispers from behind Jungkook.
“Way to keep my secrets Tae!” Jimin giggles and I can’t help but smile at the sound. This isn’t so bad.
“Don’t let Yoongi hyung hog you! I’m Hoseok and this is Namjoon.”
“Hello. I’m Jungkook.”
“So we’ve heard.”
We all talked for another half an hour before the staff told us they needed the room for another act.
“I’m hungry. Can we go to Denny’s?”
“Sure thing Jiminie.”
So, our group of six made their way to Denny’s. I hadn’t looked at Taehyung yet, but it was getting harder and harder throughout the night.
“He’s staring at you Yoongi,” Jimin whispered in his ear in the cab.
“Good for him.”
“Hyung, you should talk to him.”
“I should get over him.”
“You’re not over him?”
“C’mon Jimin, you’re smart as hell.”
“It’s just weird hearing you say it.”
“I didn’t think I’d ever see him again. I never thought it would matter.”
“Hyung, I think –”
“Jiminie please.”
“Okay hyung, sorry.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Walking in to Denny’s, Yoongi laughed when he saw Seokjin there.
“Yoongi. It’s nice to see you.”
“You too.”
“How was your performance tonight?”
“It was actually really amazing. We’re here to celebrate actually.”
“How fun. I’ve met Hoseok and Namjoon; who are the others?”
“This is Jimin. He’s in the group too. This is his boyfriend Jungkook and Jungkook’s best friend Taehyung.” I wasn’t surprised when Seokjin’s eyes went a little wide before his face relaxed again.
“Ahh, well nice to meet you boys. I’m Seokjin.”
“Want to join us,” Hobi almost shouted.
“Sure, if it’s not a bother.”
“No bother.” I glanced at Namjoon and we smirked. Hoseok had only seen Seokjin a few times, but he was totally smitten.
As we all sat in the booth, Jimin made sure to let me in first so I wouldn’t have to sit next to Tae. It didn’t help that he ended up sitting directly in front of me. God, I’m never going to make it the whole night without looking at him, I thought.
The conversation was relaxing. Seokjin wanted to hear some of our music, so Hobi played a few songs that we have on SoundCloud. We all ate without incident unless you count Hobi and Seokjin spoon feeding each other their milkshakes an 'incident.' It wasn’t until the end of the night that things took a turn. The cab driver dropped us all back at the club. Hoseok and Namjoon left, followed by Seokjin, then Jimin and Jungkook left. It was just Tae and I standing on the curb, waiting for our ubers. One finally arrived after what felt like three hours.
“Yoongi and Taehyung?”
“Yes?”
“Perfect. Get in.”
“We ordered separate rides.”
“We’re short tonight.” That seemed to be the end of the conversation. I walked up to the cab, holding the door open for Tae to get in.
“Thanks.”
I grunted in response. As we made our way to Taehyung’s place (it was first), he turned to me.
“Can we talk?”
“No.”
“Yoongi, please.”
“It’s been a long time Taehyung. We don’t need to talk.”
“I want to explain.”
“You had your time for that.”
“I know and I fucked up. I know I fucked up, okay? I should have reached out sooner, I should have tried harder. I didn’t realize we were broken until you left me.”
“Don’t bullshit me Tae. I talked to you about it, so many times. You just brushed it off.”
“You can’t even look at me Yoongi. I can’t…I want to fix this.”
“Good for you.”
“Yoongi, please. At least look at me. I miss you. I miss your smile and your laugh, I miss the way you always knew what I needed, even when I didn’t. I should have listened, I should have paid more attention. I was dumb, okay? I took you for granted. I thought I knew everything, thought I could do it all. Then you left and I realized I know absolutely nothing.” I can hear his voice breaking and the eventual sobs that come from his body. It’s breaking my heart to be like this with him, but I know all it takes it one look at him like this and I’m going to want to take him home. I’m going to want to cuddle him and stroke his hair and tell him that everything will be okay. I can’t do that. Not again.
“I can’t look at you Taehyung. Stop asking. Please. I can’t go back to this. I can’t go back to you. You…you broke me. You tore down my defenses and promised me love, support, and loyalty. In the end, you gave me nothing. You acted like you didn’t love me, you never came to my shows, and you never picked me first.”
“I know and I will do better.”
“Treat the next guy better Taehyung. Learn from us.”
“I don’t want the next guy, I only want you.”
“Please don’t do this Taehyung. Let me go, please.”
“I’ll never move past you Yoongi. You’re the love of my life.”
“You should have said that a year ago Taehyung.” The cab comes to a stop. “This is you.”
“Just look at me, please. I just want to see you one more time.”
“That’s what pictures are for Taehyung.”
“Yoongi please.”
“Sometimes, I wish we’d never met. You’re too hard to forget. I had to clean up your mess Taehyung. Don’t you dare lie to me and tell me you still care! You had a year to reach out. Goodbye Taehyung.”
I can hear him crying, but I just can’t look over. The moment he turned his back and opened his door, I broke. I couldn’t hold it in until he left, even though I tried. I sobbed into my hands, knowing full well he could hear me. Part of me hoped he’d come back, put his hands on my back and whisper in my ear.
He didn’t. He shut the door and left. Ten minutes later, I was home.
It’s 3 am when I realize I’m still not asleep. I can see the moonlight peeping through the window. I keep replaying our breakup in my head, over and over again.
-One Year Ago-
“Taehyung, where were you?”
“What do you mean? I’ve been at home, playing Overwatch.”
“Is your phone dead?”
“Of course not. You never I never –”
“Then why didn’t you read my messages? Or Hoseok’s? Or Namjoon’s?”
“Oh. I was talking to Hoshi. His lit professor keeps trying to get in his pants. I told him to go for it, he’ll pass the class that way.”
“Tonight was my first performance Tae.”
“Don’t fuck around, it’s next week.”
“Then why am I dressed like this? You haven’t looked at me once. When was the last time I came home at midnight wearing leather?”
“You look really good baby. Damn, your thighs look fucking amazing in those pants.” Taehyung gets up from the couch and walks over.
“Don’t…don’t touch me Taehyung. Tonight was important. We’ve been waiting for this night for YEARS and the love of my life promised me he’d be there.”
“It was really tonight? I put in my phone that it’s next Friday.”
“There’s a flyer on the fridge and I was talking about it all day today.”
“You talk about it all day everyday baby, I just tune it out.” He reaches for me, but I take a step back.
“Taehyung, do you love me?”
“Of course I do baby. Let’s not fight about this. I’ll go to the next one.”
“There might not be a next one Tae…this was important to me.”
“Buying the right scent of laundry detergent is important to you baby.”
“Are you seriously equating my first night on stage to laundry detergent?”
“I’m just saying, lots of shit is important to you. I can’t keep track.”
“I went to school to produce music. I did four years, gaining thousands in debt so I could produce music. I spend most of my nights up late, writing songs. Music is the second most important thing in my life.”
“I know baby. I’ll remember the next one okay? Gosh, I’m so hungry. Do we still have that soup from last night?”
I was flabbergasted. He was acting so nonchalant like it didn’t matter that he missed my first show.
“I put the photos from last week in the album tonight. It’s almost full, we need to buy a new one.”
Sure enough, I see the photo album sitting on the living room table. I walk over and pick it up. Flipping through it, I see how young we used to be. The love that used to radiate from us. We were young when we’d started dating, I was 21 and he was 17. That night, I was 25 and he was 21. I always thought we’d be together forever, young love that lasted our whole lives.
“When did you stop caring?”
“What?”
“When did you stop caring? The Taehyung I fell in love with would have never missed my show. He helped me write lyrics, helped me with the beats. He even played sax on a track when I asked him too. It’s been over a year since you came into the studio with me. I went to every art class you had, ever photography class. I was there for every gallery show, even that one that was in a gym at some high school. I’ve always been there, supporting you. Your number one fan. When did you decide you weren’t going to be there for me?”
“You’re being dramatic baby. I’m still your number one fan. I missed a show, it’s whatever. I wouldn’t be crying if you missed a show.”
That’s when I snapped. I threw the album at him just as he sat down. It smacked into his soul bowl, soup spilling on his pants and into the book that held our memories.
“Sleep somewhere else tonight Taehyung.”
“What the fuck Yoongi? These are my favorite pants.”
“Go sleep as Hoshi’s or something. I don’t want to see you tonight.” I took my jacket off, hanging it up in the closet.
“Stop being a fucking drama queen. God, these really are my favorite pants. Fuck, this soup is so fucking hot.”
“Kim Taehyung, you need to leave.”
“Baby, come on. Stop being like this. I just missed one –”
“It’s not just about the missed show,” I scream. “You never tell me you love me anymore. You never want to just cuddle or go on a date. You never want to do ANYTHING with me anymore. The only time we have together is when you want to get fucked. It’s when you want me to treat you like shit and watch you get off on it. If my dick isn’t up your ass, you don’t want to even LOOK AT ME! I’m DONE TAEHYUNG! GET OUT!”
“Whatever Yoongi. You're being fucking dramatic. I’ll go to Hoshi’s, but don’t call me crying in an hour when you miss this ass.”
“God, just fucking go.”
He walked out the door and never came back.
-Present Day-
Three days later, I’m sitting at a coffee shop around the corner from my apartment. Namjoon and Hoseok are in the booth behind me. I can’t express how happy I am that they came here for me. A few minutes pass when the bell above the door goes off. A body moves towards us and sits across from me.
“Hi.” I’d recognize that deep voice anywhere.
“Hi.”
“Thanks for meeting me.”
“Everyone seems to think it’s a good idea, so I’m here.”
“What do you think?”
“You care now?” Taehyung flinches and I hear Namjoon clear his throat. “Sorry, it’s automatic. I promise I’m trying to be nice.”
“It’s fine. I deserve it. I deserve a lot worse honestly.”
“No comment.” The small smile that graces Taehyung’s lips for just a moment makes my heart flip. Fuck, this is going to be so hard.
“I just…I said everything I needed to say in text. I still love you, I want to be with you. I want to spend forever with you. However, I understand if you don’t feel the same way. If you want to be friends, that’s awesome. If you want to never see me again after today, that’s totally cool too. I just wanted to make sure that you know how serious I am.” Taehyung pulls a book out of his bag. “This is our photo album. You threw it at me when you broke up with me. It was the worst moment of my life. It fell into my soup, knocking the bowl down and spilled soup all over my pants. God, I was more angry about my pants that night than anything else. I thought you’d call me, begging me to come back. I didn’t think you were serious until a week passed. Then I was too embarrassed to do anything about it. I met Jungkook a month after you left me. I was trying to get over you by fucking a tall, handsome stranger. Instead, I just ended up sobbing into his chest while his really cute boyfriend kept bringing me water. I think they saved my life Yoongi. I met them exactly when I needed to. They let me move in with them so I wasn’t sleeping in my car anymore. Jungkook got me a job at the store he works at. It’s overnight stocking, but it’s perfect for me. It gave me time during the day to start seeing Seokjin and go back to school. I stopped drinking and smoking. I haven’t had any weed since the night I met Jungkook and Jimin. I pay my own bills. Oh, and I have a cat. This is Suga.”
“Suga huh?” Taehyung blushes and it makes me want to pinch his cheeks.
“I adopted her two months ago. She’s cranky, just like you. That's why I named her after you. She likes to lay around on the windowsill all day long and only eats wet cat food. She’s so spoiled, but she has a family now who loves her. I want to grow her family by three.”
“Get three more cats?” I hear Hoseok chuckle from behind me and Taehyung is blushing again.
“You’re so dense.”
“Being rude won’t get you places.”
“You’re right. I’m the one who likes to be degraded.” Taehyung winks at me and it takes all my willpower not to kick his shin, fucking punk. I can hear Namjoon holding back his laugh. “I want to grow her family by adding you, Namjoon, and Hoseok. Maybe even Seokjin too. He’s really cool, plus it’s pretty obvious he and Hoseok are going to fuck soon. I already told him Hoseok likes to be tied up in bed so –”
“Taehyung, I’m going to fucking kill you,” Hoseok shouts from behind us.
“No you won’t Hoseok, you’ll thank me. Seokjin turned bright pink. I gave him your number and told him to text you tomorrow, so wait for that.” Taehyung looked back to me. “So? Can we be friends?”
I sigh loudly. “I told them I wouldn’t be able to see you Taehyung. I told them I couldn’t be strong when you were right in front of me. Your gorgeous eyes and cute boxy smile. I’m too weak for this.” His smile takes over his face.
“Does that mean I have a chance?”
“This means friendship. I don’t think…I don’t know if I’m ready for anything else. I’m still broken Taehyung.”
“I’m sorry I broke you Yoongi. I never meant to.”
“I know Tae, I know.”
He reaches his hand across the table, slowly flipping it so his palm is up. I place my hand on top of his, curling my fingers around his hand.
“A second chance?”
“It’s definitely a third chance, but yes.”
“Third?”
“You tried to fuck Jungkook?” Taehyung laughs.
“I did! I wanted to get over you with someone who didn’t remind me of you. Turns out, he’s as kind and gentle as you are.”
“Did you…did you…ummm…”
“I haven’t slept with anyone Yoongi. I couldn’t. I won’t lie to you, I tried. Five different guys over the first month we were apart. Not a single one of them could get my dick to stand up.”
“I guess it’s not weird that I didn’t sleep with anyone either then.”
“You didn’t?”
“No. I didn’t even touch myself for the first three months.”
“You’re adorable Yoongi.”
“Shut the fuck up kid.”
“Talk dirty to me.” Taehyung winks at me again, making me chuckle.
“We’re friends Taehyung. You’re not getting on my dick anytime soon.”
“That’s not ‘never’ though.”
“Shut up.”
“I’ve missed you Yoongi.”
“I missed you too kid.”
We talk for another half an hour before I have to leave for work, making plans to see a movie next week. When we’re leaving, I wrap my arms around him in a hug. He leans into my touch, nuzzling his nose in my neck.
“Thanks Yoongi.”
“Don’t thank me yet Tae.”
-Two Years Later-
“Is this seriously happening?”
“Yes, it is Taehyung. Now get your ass up and get changed.”
“I don’t want to go!”
“You’re not going to lay on the couch for another week, crying about how Yoongi rejected your kiss. Now come the fuck on.” Taehyung got up, afraid that Jimin was going to start yelling at him. The guy was so sweet and caring until he wasn’t anymore.
An hour later, he was wearing his favorite pair of jeans and a tight red shirt that said I Got It From My Daddy. Yoongi had bought it for him on their two year anniversary and it was his most prized piece of clothing. Even if the elder had pushed him away when he’d kissed him, it didn’t change how he felt. He’d waited three years for Yoongi to love him back, he could wait longer.
Getting in the backseat of Jimin’s car, he couldn’t help but be jealous of what Jungkook and Jimin had. They’d recently gotten engaged and were saving money to have a destination wedding to Hawaii. They’d always been able to talk through their disagreements and always took what the other had to say to heart. Unlike Taehyung, who had a tendency to pretend like nothing was his fault. He knew he was better now, everyone told him so. Seokjin always said he was proud of his progress.
None of that mattered to him most days though. If he had just talked to Yoongi on that night instead of pretending like nothing was wrong, if he had just taken a moment to realize that Yoongi was unhappy; everything would be different. He would be pumping himself in the shower to memories of Yoongi’s lips on his cock, how it felt when Yoongi filled him up. He hadn’t had sex in three years, despite a few offers from strangers at clubs. He’d had to replace his vibrator five times and his roommates often teased him for being loud at night by himself.
It wasn’t all about sex of course. He missed Yoongi’s smile, the way he comforted him after a bad day. He missed his smell, the way his fingers felt when they held hands. He missed the soft touches and good morning kisses. He missed the late night conversations and laying on the roof of their old complex, staring at the stars.
Taehyung was on the verge of tears when the car rolled to a stop.
“Alright Tae, we’re going to park. We’ll meet you in there, okay?”
He nodded at his best friends and stepped out of the car. They sped off the moment the door was shut. He looked after them curiously, but shrugged it off, entering the restaurant.
“Hi. We have a reservation for Park Jimin.”
“Ahh yes, right this way sir.” The kind woman took Taehyung to the very back of the restaurant and through a small hallway. I’m totally going to be murdered he thought. “Right through here. Have a good night.” The woman winked at him, leaving him standing there confused as fuck.
He stepped through the door and stopped immediately. The room was small and instead of having enough seats for his friends, there were only two chairs. Jimin had obviously fucked up the reservation. This was a romantic set up, with candles and everything. Taehyung turned around to leave the room when he heard “Taehyung?”
“Yoongi?”
“I’m glad you made it.”
“Why are you here? We should probably tell Jungkook and Jimin that their reservation was accidentally made for two instead of three, though I guess four if you’re here.” Yoongi chuckled.
“You’ve been tricked Kim Taehyung, you adorable dork. Come sit with me.”
That’s when he realized what Yoongi was wearing. Nice black slacks, a light blue button-up shirt with a black blazer. He looked amazing.
“You look really good tonight.”
“You don’t look so bad yourself Tae. That shirt looks good on you.”
“What is going on?” He sat down across from his ex.
“I wanted to talk to you.”
“This seems a little extreme, and also misleading.”
“How so?”
“You just rejected me last week and now it looks like we’re on a date.”
“Can this be a date?”
“See? Misleading.” Yoongi chuckled again, reaching his hand out. Taehyung took it, still confused.
“Kim Taehyung, the reason I rejected your kiss is because it would ruin my plans. I’ve been planning this dinner date for four months. Getting a reservation for this room takes forever.”
“Really?”
“Remember our first date?”
“Yeah. It was at a cute little restaurant with whales painted on – oh my god. It’s this one, isn’t it?”
“It is. We didn’t have the date in this room, obviously, but this is the exact table we sat at. I know, because I may have carved MYG<3KTH on the underside of the table.”
“You ruined a table on our first date?”
“I knew you were the one for me and I needed proof for when I eventually brought you back here.”
“That’s the cutest thing you’ve ever done Min Yoongi.”
“Shut up.” He was blushing furiously and Taehyung wanted to lean in and place a gentle kiss on those pink cheeks. “Kim Taehyung, I’m disgustingly in love with you. I’m so fucking sorry it took me so long to be ready, but I’m ready now. I don’t expect you to say yes, I knew rejecting your kiss was a risk. It was so hard to push you away. God, all I’ve wanted to do for three years is kiss you again. I just…I needed it to be on my terms. It’s so selfish, but it was important to me. I love you Kim Taehyung and I want you to be my boyfriend.” Yoongi reached down and grabbed something from his pocket.
“This isn't an engagement ring, I'm not Seokjin and you aren't Hobi. This is a promise ring. I promise to be here for you, to support you. I promise to never give up on us. I promise to talk to you when I’m angry and to never throw you out again. I promise to never go to bed angry, to tell you how important you are to me every single day. Even the days when I’m in the studio all day long, the weeks when I’m on a tour. I promise to make you my first priority, every single day for the rest of our lives.” Taehyung knew he was crying, but he didn’t care. He reached his hand forward, allowing Yoongi to slide the ring on his finger.
“Of course I’ll be your boyfriend, you stubborn fucking asshole. I promise all of those things too baby.” Taehyung stood up and covered the space between them, twisting Yoongi’s chair and straddling him. He looked into his boyfriend's eyes and saw the love that was there, that had found its way back to him. He leaned down and kissed those soft lips that he’d been missing for years.
“I love you Tae.”
“I love you too Yoongi, so fucking much.”
“Sorry it took so long.”
“I would’ve waited 1000 years for you baby.”
*The song Yoongi and Jimin perform is 'Tomorrow' by Tablo ft. Taeyang. You can watch the MV here! :)