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the Memes™️

Summary:

A voltron chatfic between Play the Cards parts one and two, with hinted Klance, Romellura, past and future Adashi. Also, current Aczor, Zerti, Leifsdottir/Rizavi and Griffin/Kinkade.

Sorry to abandon, but

Notes:

Basically all you have to know is that this ties into my other fic, Play the Cards. But you can read it as a stand-alone.

Soki is my own original character and Keith/Acxa/Shiro's sister. She wields powers similar to Haggar's. Catherine is a character I made up solely to be Veronica's wife, and the reason Romelle's name is mechanic lady is that I headcanon that she was a mechanic on the Colony.

That's really it! Enjoy this crack.

Chapter 1: fuckery and memes

Summary:

The bois get up to shit over a Garrison-monitored communication channel. What could go wrong?

Chapter Text

Lance Serrano-McClain created The G-Squad. Lance Serrano-McClain added Takashi Shirogane and 17 others to The G-Squad. Lance Serrano-McClain changed their name to lancey-lance.

lancey-lance: what’s up fuckers

Keith Kogane entered the chat.
Keith Kogane changed their name to knife boi.

knife boi: what is this

lancey-lance: what do you think it is

lancey-lance: it’s a group chat

Katie Holt entered the chat.
Katie Holt changed their name to pidgeon.

pidgeon: why lance

pidgeon: this is gonna become memes and shitposts real quick

Hunk Garrett entered the chat.
Hunk Garrett changed their name to sunshine.

sunshine: oh no

pidgeon: that’s what I said

lancey-lance: that’s what she said

Takashi Shirogane entered the chat.
Takashi Shirogane changed their name to Shiro.

Shiro: is this going to end up disappointing me

pidgeon: probably

Nadia Rizavi entered the chat.
Nadia Rizavi changed their name to that pan bitch.

that pan bitch: ooh group chat

that pan bitch: this is like the one us MFEs have excpt nobody ever talks on that one

pidgeon: ohhhh you’re rizavi

sunshine: hey you’re pan too!

lancey-lance: are any of us straight though

sunshine: fair point

James Griffin entered the chat.
James Griffin changed their name to idiot.

idiot: okay why is this a thing

idiot: like who authorized this

lancey-lance: i did

knife boi: fuck off griffin

pidgeon: oooh burn

idiot: why are you like this

Acxa Kogane entered the chat.
Acxa Kogane changed their name to aux cord.

aux cord: oh this is bad

aux cord: lotor made a group chat once

Ezor entered the chat.
Ezor changed their name to rose backwards.

rose backwards: it ended in literal flames

that pan bitch: same honestly

idiot: how is that at all relatable

that pan bitch: cause some of you have never set yourself on fire

lancey-lance: damn rizavi

knife boi: okay she’s cool

Ina Leifsdottir entered the chat.
Ina Leifsdottir changed their name to angel wings.

that pan bitch: aww you used my nickname for you

angel wings: what else would i call myself

lancey-lance: what’s it like to be in love

pidgeon: yeah i wouldn’t know

pidgeon: maybe you two and hunk can clarify?

angel wings: i would give the chemical reactions speech but something tells me you already know that

Ryan Kinkade entered the chat.
Ryan Kinkade changed their name to camera boy.

idiot: hi kinkade

camera boy: hi griffin

pidgeon: i ship it

aux cord: canon

rose backwards: gay

Zethrid entered the chat.
Zethrid changed their name to lemme smash.

lemme smash: you’re one to talk

lemme smash: i heard you and acxa in the training room last night

rose backwards: fuck off

lemme smash: fuck acxa instead

knife boi: ugh i do not need to know about my sister’s sex life

lancey-lance: that’s what i told veronica when she and catherine started dating, but did she listen?

lancey-lance: sisters never listen

pidgeon: hi sisters

sunshine: hi sisters

camera boy: hi sisters

idiot: okay but how do y’all get your eyeliner so flawless

idiot: especially you, shiro

Shiro: pain and tears

lancey-lance: did you just say y’all

camera boy: he did

idiot: i grew up in arizona okay

lancey-lance: so did keith, but he doesn’t say y’all

knife boi: y’all

lancey-lance: oh come on

Princess Allura entered the chat.
Princess Allura changed their name to princess.

princess: is this what you earthlings call texting

princess: it was much more efficient on Altea

Romelle entered the chat.
Romelle changed their name to mechanic lady.

mechanic lady: hi everyone

pidgeon: hi romelle

princess: hi romelle

lancey-lance: hi romelle

knife boi: hi romelle

aux cord: what’s up fuckers

pidgeon: acxa nO

aux cord: you said it was an earth meme

lancey-lance: WAIT THERE ARE SPACE MEMES

aux cord: yes

rose backwards: they mostly have to do with killing your enemies

rose backwards: when acxa and i served under diok someone made a meme of him

rose backwards: he went ballistic

mechanic lady: what’s a meme

lancey-lance: OH MY GOD

pidgeon: oh you poor soul

sunshine: even shay knows what memes are

mechanic lady: i’m joking

pidgeon: you’re still a poor soul

pidgeon: a poor gay soul

mechanic lady: true

Coran Smythe entered the chat.
Coran Smythe changed their name to royal man.

royal man: hello everyone!

pidgeon: …

sunshine: hi coran

sunshine: pidge, say hi

pidgeon: i Will Not

lancey-lance: what did coran ever do to you

Shiro: he “borrowed” her screwdriver

aux cord: and broke it

royal man: sorry

pidgeon: acceptable

Matthew Holt entered the chat.
Matthew Holt changed their name to shitposter.

shitposter: i stole pidge’s wrench

pidgeon: go away

Shiro: oh god

mechanic lady: you are too much like bandor

mechanic lady: he would steal my things

mechanic lady: and then complain when i could not fix his broken things

princess: i am sorry about your brother, romelle.

mechanic lady: it is alright

mechanic lady: he lives on in matt

shitposter: is that a compliment

pidgeon: oooh, burn

shitposter: i guess not

lancey-lance: not again

lancey-lance: hey where did everyone go

knife boi: i’m pretty sure acxa and ezor are adulting

sunshine: are you sure they’re not fucking

knife boi: don’t want to think about it

lemme smash: they’re definitely fucking

knife boi: gOD DAMN IT

pidgeon: where’s your other sister

knife boi: ask her yourself

Soki Kogane entered the chat.
Soki Kogane changed their name to that magic bitch.

pidgeon: what is it with this chat and names like “that-blank-bitch”

that pan bitch: yeah change it

Soki Kogane changed their name to chaos queen.

chaos queen: better?

that pan bitch: yes

angel wings: what the fuck happened while i was out

sunshine: you kiss rizavi with that mouth?

that pan bitch: yes she does

that pan bitch: she also

sunshine: don’t continue that statement

knife boi: please don’t

that pan bitch: fine, keith

knife boi: hey i have a right to my preferences

lancey-lance: wait really

pidgeon: lance you’re literally the last one to know

knife boi: lance i came out at fifteen

knife boi: i fucked rolo for god’s sake

chaos queen: plus why in the name of god would any ogane be straight

sunshine: “ogane”?

chaos queen: i’m including shiro

lancey-lance: ohmygod keith