Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Kazuya wasn’t sure when it happened, but he felt the return of his feelings when Sawamura Eijun mysteriously disappeared. Where? He had no clue. The whole Seidou first string, and eventually the entire school began their hunt for the boy. Searching far and wide and even trying to hunt him down in Nagano, but no matter where they looked they found no leads, and definitely no Sawamura. Kazuya was unsure as to why this was all happening to them - didn’t he make a deal to prevent this very thing from happening? 

Kazuya knew where he had to look, he knew it this whole time. 

He had to find the demon in control of time - in control of the past and the future - in control of their lives. 

So Kazuya hunted. He called for the demon, without knowing its name - he called everywhere he could possibly think of. At the old stadium where they played their last match, in the Seidou bathrooms - in the dugout, the field, and even the shed. He searched far and wide, even bothering with the utility closet - all for this demon. 

Kazuya wasn’t sure why he could feel so strongly now, the demon had made a deal with Sawamura hadn’t it? Behind his back. He supposes it was more like a refund though, considering the intense amount of pain he felt, a tightness in his chest he couldn’t ignore. Like a glass being filled with too much water and overflowing, he found himself crying a lot more than usual. 

It only took three days however. 

Sawamura Eijun returned, eyes bright orange like usual, a simple smile on his lips - he was glowing in the sun, glowing full of life, but something was off about him. 

“Miyuki-senpai, nice job today.” Eijun said, a polite smile on his lips as his eyes slid closed in an all too happy and peaceful expression, not befitting of the boy at all - not one bit. 

“Ah, thanks?” Kazuya… asked. How strange, he pursed his lips. “You really have no idea where you went?” 

“On that again? Not a clue.” Eijun confirmed, he was suddenly very neat as a person. His hair was even brushed today, clothes washed, eyes full of childlike wonder. The boy supposedly was paying attention in class too, as his grades shockingly sky rocketed - especially in history. The boy even performed better when it came to the other various roles of baseball, not just pitching, and the coaches, managers, and other staff were impressed. Kazuya had no doubt in his mind that before long he’d become the ace. 

But this wasn’t right. This… it was too easy for Sawamura all of a sudden. 

Eijun always knew what to say at the right moment, he was playing the people around him like skilled pawns - it even got to the point where Kuramochi treated him more like an equal and less like a younger relative - people started looking up to him. 

Girls murmured in the halls about how “cool” Eijun was now. 

How he politely turned down their pink love letters, in such a way that no tears were shed and no heartbreak could be seen. 

Kazuya didn’t like it, it made him sick to his stomach. 

“Disgusting.” He muttered out loud during breakfast once, Ryousuke humming in reply with his chopsticks in hand. 

It really was disgusting. 

——

Kazuya couldn’t quit his hunt for the demon, even three months after this mysterious version of Sawamura bubbles to life. There were too many unanswered questions, but no matter where he looked, how many clocks he bought, and watched, he couldn’t find the answers he was so desperately hunting for - pulling into a void, he knew he’d never reach it at this rate. 

Unless he asked Sawamura directly. 

“You’re not human are you?” Kazuya asked, the two of them were on cleanup duty, Eijun stopped when asked this question, baseball in his hand still. This was the first time since his mysterious return that Kazuya saw the boy become slightly nervous. 

“Haha…? What are you talking about, Miyuki-kun?” There was that all too happy and peaceful look on his face again, another bout of nervous laughter leaving his lips. 

“No… not only are you not a human, you’re not Sawamura Eijun are you?” Kazuya pressed, he walked closer to the boy, glaring - he would get to the bottom of this. 

“Ah. Do I really not act the part well?” Eijun inquired - no, the thing pretending to be Eijun muttered, a look of defeat swelling over his face. 

“It’s wonderful, what you humans have. Something I never knew, such feelings - satisfaction, sadness… despair. I’ve grown so attached to them, I could never do without them - but in such an abyss, I realized how lonely I was, watching over time. I just wanted to… to leave. I needed a way to become a human - no I had to become human, I want to experience the things you simply enjoy ever so - I wanted to feel the things you feel, I wanted to know what sorrow felt like, what it feels like to lose someone you love - I wanted it all. I wanted all the horror and the joy, I wanted to find freedom in this world - freedom from my cage.” The thing inside Eijun’s body would allow the ball nestled in his palm to roll away. “I could have never asked for a better body, this one… has so much heart, he feels so much… you understand don’t you?” 

It looked hopeful in that moment, empty golden eyes finding chocolate ones. 

The air was cold. 

“So you’re saying… you stole Sawamura’s body?!” Kazuya shouted, his hands moving on their own as he grabbed the boy by the shirt, dragging him forward before tossing him to the ground, pinning him down with his hands and legs. Both of Kazuya’s hands was on the boy’s wrists, tears gushed from the catcher’s eyes, one landing on the cheek of Sawamura, rolling down slowly. 

“You don’t understand after all, you’ve never been without mortality.” 

“Where he is?!” Kazuya shouted, glaring. 

“Hm? Do you love him?” 

• “I do, I love him.” 

“What if he doesn’t love you back?” 

• “I don’t care, I love him.” 

The wind picked up for just a moment, rustling their hair about, but neither moved from their position. Sawamura appeared to be at a loss of words, for the first time in what seemed like eternity to Kazuya, and Kazuya couldn’t help the bitterness bubbling in his chest. This thing he was pinning to the ground… to imposter a human?! Disgusting. Really. 

“I hope you die. I hope you disappear forever.” Kazuya glared. “I don’t care if my fate returns to normal, I don’t care - as long as you disappear.” 

“Your normal fate isn’t in your hands, it’s always been in Sawamura’s. He made a trade you see, just like you had in your desperation - in exchange for you to regain your feelings, joy, sadness - he traded his place here in the mortal realm with me.” The demon fessed, but not before sighing sadly. “I realize now, I’m not going to be a very good human, I know too much - I am too much to remain. But you see, Sawamura obtained all my abilities and powers with the trade, he’s somewhere buried in the inner workings of time. To meet him, you’d have to be able to stop time, which neither of us can do. You might as well assume, he’s dead.” 

Kazuya couldn’t stop himself in that moment, fist raising and with a loud smacking sound, his knuckles made contact with Sawamura Eijun’s cheek. 

“That's not true and you know it!” The catcher screamed, sobs shaking his shoulders and voice. 

I love you. 

I want to save them all.

I want everyone to be able to laugh, and be happy again, no matter what I might lose, I just want to protect them from the world - I will protect them from the world. 

I will become time. 

“You can try at two am to find him, leave your dorm room, and if a path appears, then it is your destiny… no fate, to see him.” The demon informs him, blood pooling from his nose. “But if there is no path, then he is gone. Busy with his duties as the lord of time.” 

Kazuya would punch again, but this time it would be the ground next to them, his own knuckles scrapping and bleeding. 

Sawamura took it all upon himself again, hadn’t he? What an…

What an…

IDIOT!

—-

There was no path when Kazuya left his room at 2 am, and he’d proceed to do it for the next few weeks to come, and no matter how much he begged and prayed and prayed there would be no path. Though his knuckles bandaged, though his hatred for the thing possessing Sawamura, he still caught the pitches accordingly. 

A few months later, Sawamura Eijun would become the ace of Seidou high. 

And in the next four months, Kazuya will graduate highschool. Is that really his fate? To never meet the real Sawamura again? To lose him to the folds and fabrics of time - to lose him to a demon, to the voice of death. 

How particular. 

—-

Find me! 

Kazuya felt his eyes open, heavy with sleep, wet from crying. He reached for his phone, tapping on the screen and wincing in pain as white light flashed out, illuminating the room in a solem and lonely glow. 

2:00 am. 

Kazuya’s eyes widened, maybe it was foolish to still be hopeful - he didn’t care. Rushing out of bed, trying to beat the clock, willing not a minute to pass, he eventually flung open his dorm room - 

He heard the sound of a bell, and sure enough before him, would be bubbles of memories that hadn’t happened, but had somewhere else. They had a soft glow to them, bobbing back and forth as if they were submerged in some invisible water. Kazuya would walk forward then, down the metal steps, he’d keep walking, straight. He watched as his surroundings would fade from practical to supernatural. More of these glowing bubbles would fill the empty space, before he’d come face to face with Sawamura Eijun. 

“Yo, Miyuki Kazuya.” The boy would greet. He’d be standing there, dressed in what appeared to be old time robes. He now had a clock ticking forth in his forehead, two clocks would tick next to him, his eyes still holding that gleaming orange glow that Kazuya remembered so fondly. 

“It took me a long time to figure out how to bring this place to the mortal world. Man, these powers sure are hard to control… I missed you though, and everyone else.” Eijun seemed sad, as though this were all a bittersweet moment for him. 

“Sa… Sawamura… is that really you?” Kazuya almost pleaded, absolutely bewildered at the sight of Eijun like this, in this moment he felt so exposed and vulnerable but he didn’t have it in himself to care too harshly. 

“As close to the real me as you’ll get, I’m sure.” Eijun confirmed then, extending a pointer finger. “Hey, you know what? I don’t think I ever threw a full ten pitches into your mitt.” 

“Huh?” 

“When we won that game, I said catch ten of my pitches!” Eijun had a childish grin on his lips, and snapped his fingers, and with a rush all too fast, they were on the Seidou baseball field. Sawamura, still dressed in fancy robes, had a mysterious baseball that had a strange glow to it in his hand. Kazuya looked down to find a mitt on his hand, it too had the bizarre glow to it. Eijun did his full windup on the mound, before tossing the ball from the tips of his fingers, it smacked into the mitt with a loud thud that would send both of their hearts into a frenzy. 

1. When I see you again, I’ll make sure you tell you everything I feel, no matter what the consequences are. I’ll make sure to treasure you always, because I love you!

Kazuya tossed the ball back, and he couldn’t help himself. 

“Nice throw.” He said softly, as though it were forbidden from his lips, and Eijun visibly gleamed. 

Eijun would complete another full windup, throwing the ball once more. 

“Out!” Kazuya shouted. 

“Oh come on! That was totally in! You’re just jealous of my amazing pitching skills!” Eijun threw his head back, hands flying into his hair and tussling it into a messy fray like he always did when he was upset or frustrated. 

1. I’ll make sure to protect you, and keep you close by, I’ll never let you leave my sight again - when I find you, if I find you, I’ll make sure you’re taken care of. 

Smack! 

“That one is still out.” Kazuya grinned, and Eijun deadpanned. 

“You’re such a liar, shitty bastard.” Eijun would respond by kicking the mound softly. “Fine, I’ll make sure the next pitch is so fantastic you’ll never wanna catch anyone else’s throw again!”

“Uh huh, I’m sure you will, sa-wa-mu-ra.” Teased the catcher, throwing the ball back. 

1. I’ll do everything in my power to bring you home, I’ll find the real you and make sure you live your life to the fullest - I’ll take you to Koshien, I’ll make sure you follow my lead - I’ll make sure you stay with me always and forever! 

“In, nice ball.” Kazuya would stand up from his crouching position to toss the ball back, and Sawamura would catch it expectantly. 

“Bahaha! Of course it was! I never throw any bad throws ever!” Eijun full of pride placed both his hands on his hips, head tossed back as he cackled like an evil witch brewing something all too evil. 

“You didn’t let me finish. Nice ball for someone out of practice.” Kazuya had a devilish expression in that moment, an almost childish giggle escaping his lips. 

“Hey!!” 

1. Always and forever, that’s how long I’ll love you, and nothing will ever change these feelings - I want only you, I need only you, the way you - the way you made me feel was unlike any other, oh how I miss you so. 

“Do you have the yips or something?” Kazuya groaned, tossing the ball back. “That’s barely four, what’s the matter with you?” 

“Shut up, bakayuki, I’m working on it! I’m just out of practice!” 

• “What happened to never throwing a bad ball?” 

“I’m going to hit you.” 

• “I’d like to see you try!” 

“God you’re so weird.” 

• “Haha, thank you!” 

“That was NOT a compliment, shitty catcher!” 

The two would continue their bickering. 

1. I feel these things because, the last thing I ever want to see you do is cry - the last thing I ever want to know is you’re sad, I want to help you, build you up and make you the best you can be- because my job as catcher is to…

“Oh? That was almost actually a good pitch.” Kazuya complimented, his eyes found themselves trained on this strange ball, so bright and orange. As he threw it back, he saw a sad and distant expression meet him on Sawamura’s face. 

“We’re over half way done, aren’t we?” Eijun asked, almost hoping it was less, as if he wasn’t almost done with his ten promised pitches. 

“Yeah, I guess.” Kazuya knew that this, once the number hit ten, might be goodbye. 

1. Is to… bring out your potential, and allow you to burn bright! To fill you with the desire to push, and the motivation to stand back up - to promise you the victory you deserve! Because it’s my job as someone who… as someone who…!

Fwap. The ball collided with the mitt strongly, ah so Eijun planned to finish this as strong as he possibly could huh? Kazuya had no complaints. That was honestly the best pitch of the night, and he had no qualms telling the other. 

“There you go, just like that.” Kazuya said, a grin fell naturally on his face as his blood boiled. Ah, being a catcher made him so excited.

Eijun visibly gleamed at the slight praise, but wasted no time responding, instead began winding up once more when the ball was back in his possession. 

1. As someone who loves you! It’s my job to make you want to be better, and stronger! It’s my job to support you! I promise as long as you have me, you’ll never be alone! 

Snowflakes had started to drift from the sky, as though they were telling of a time too soon, a time neither of them wanted to reach. Kazuya didn’t know what to say, he knew he could compliment the pitch, but it was getting hard to speak as he felt a familiar wet stinging sensation in his eyes. It burned like fiery acid. 

Eijun would too, feel that burning, and would do everything in his power to laugh it off.

“What about that one? Huh? HUH?!” Eijun asked, eagerness in his voice. 

“It was a good pitch, Eijun.” Kazuya grinned softly, and Eijun would visibly blush at the praise.

1. And as someone who loves you, I hope whenever you’re sad and lonely you feel comfortable enough to come to me about it, because not only as someone who loves you, it’s my duty as catcher! As catcher to make sure MY pitcher is okay! I’ll do it until the day I die! Forever and ever! I promise! I really do! 

The snow had started to come down harder and harder, Eijun had big fat tears rolling down his cheeks now as he threw the next pitch. It collided with a nice smack, and Kazuya too was crying. They were both sobbing now, tears falling into the snow below, it was becoming so, so very cold. 

Kazuya felt how heavy that ball was as he threw it back, scared of what was about to come - what would happen when Sawamura threw his last pitch? Would he disappear into time itself? Kazuya didn’t want to be alone. He was terrified of being alone. 

Eijun was still now, ball in his fingertips. He never wanted this to end, he never wanted to say goodbye to Miyuki Kazuya, because the truth is… the truth is he’s so lucky to know all the people in his life he knows. From Kuramochi to Haruichi, from Furuya to Ryousuke, from Chris to Miyuki Kazuya. He never wanted to be without them, he never wanted to know that tight pain again when he lost them - when he was in a coma, unsure if he’d ever wake up, when he felt Kazuya’s tears burn into his hand. He loved his life, he treasured it and to know it was all about to disappear one day… he couldn’t fathom it. He’d be all alone. 

1. Because without you, I am nothing, and I can’t be anything if there is no one to pitch to my mitt, if there’s no fantastic throws to catch, no hands to hold, I will disappear and fade - I will become as useless as a mitt without a hand, that’s why I need you - you give me a reason to keep going! To keep reaching! To keep fighting!

Eijun screamed a heartbroken scream as he threw the ball from the tips of his fingers, it spun with his entire heart placed into it, and Kazuya caught it with all he had. That was ten. 

Light erupted from the ground below them, the ball and mitt fading into irrelevance. Kazuya found himself struggling to stand up, he wanted to run to Sawamura and hug him, to tell him everything was okay because he was here now - and he’d never let go. 

1. Because I love you simply for being you, no matter what I will always care for you, so tell me, as my pitcher, what kind of throw do you want to make? What kind of play do you want? I will always be here, because Sawamura, I love you. 

Eijun screamed, horns erupting from his head as his eyes became increasingly more orange, nails sharpening as he became more and more demon-like. His teeth formed into a more sharp and pointed look, he growled then as his body transformed. Tears still rolling from his eyes. 

“What a disgusting world.” Eijun spoke, but it sounded as though many of him were talking at once, voice cold and unwavering. “To have everything taken from you, the ones you love, the ones you need, how unfair - how unfair.” 

Eijun began to glow then, multiple clocks appearing all around him, all pointed at approximately 12. 

“I will undo it, I will undo this cold and unfair world - as the time holder, I will erase it all - I will prevent it from happening - I will not allow you to suffer.” 

“Stop!” It was… Sawamura’s voice? Kazuya turned his head to see the prior demon struggling to stay upright in the shaking and cracking ground. But he wasn’t alone, with him was Haruichi, Kuramochi, Ryousuke - even Furuya! Actually it was the full first string of Seidou there, all of them fighting to keep on their feet. 

“I would never… have known what it is to feel… without you… so for that I am grateful - to the both of you! But this has gone too far! This is why… the lord of time… can’t have feelings!” The demon shouted, tears rolling from its eyes. “I should… have never done this to you… if you do this, everyone you know and love will disappear! Your family, friends - everyone!” 

Eijun would continue to yell, more and more clocks appearing. The ground would begin to shake more and more, black lighting erupting from all around him. 

I love you. 

Kazuya forced himself to his feet, knees buckling under the immense pressure being erupted from the god-like entity before him. He’d take one shakey step, screaming through clenched teeth as he’d continue to force himself forward. 

Catch ten of my pitches!

I love you!

I will protect them! 

“Make a deal with me, Sawamura-San.” The demon said, softly a grin on its lip. 

“You protect everyone, and I have my duties back, I understand now I could never replace you, and more importantly… I’d cease to exist if you do this.” 

Lighting more and more began dashing out and around Sawamura, as he begun hunching in on himself, lifting off the ground as more and and more clocks appeared, each starting to tick loudly as their large hands began inching forward telling the stories of time with them. 

“I… can’t…. stop….!” Eijun yelled, his body shaking with the immense power bubbling within him. Was he going to erase time? Why? 

“It’s because you’ve given up on time. This is what happens when a time lord loses its mind. When it gains a taste of emotions. This is why it had to be a demon, and not an angel.” The demon sighed, extending a hand. “You have to remember why you love the earth! Why do you love time! Why you love those around you and why it’s worth preserving, think Sawamura-San!” 

Why did… Eijun love time? 

Because he could play baseball. 

Because he met Miyuki Kazuya, and his friends - and his family. 

Because he could always remain here. 

TICK…

TICK…

TICK…

TICK…

“As the commander of time,” Sawamura started as though he were creating a mantra, “I wish to undo the pain and suffering of this realm, I will fix what is wrong, and remove the problem.” 

“EIJUN!” Kazuya shouted then, collapsing to his knees unable to push forward, desperately reaching a hand forward. A hand that would never reach. 

Fwoomf. 

A blackness would consume the entirety of the Earth then, absorbing in it everything. 

“I… couldn’t protect them…” Sawamura whispered into the nothingness he had summoned, unable to remove it. 

It had been too late, he had failed them hadn’t he? He wondered if they hated him, but there was no way to tell now. In a different time, they’d all have been happy, right? 

Miyuki-Senpai! Catch ten of my pitches! 

In a more oblivious time, when that was a promise of good to come, it had become a morbid reminder of their fate. He never told Kazuya how he felt, had he? How horrible. 

“It’s not too late.” 

Eijun opened his eyes, in front of him was himself, but he knew it was the demon of time, it appeared sad but understanding all at the same time. 

“Let’s make a deal.” 

——

“And ten.” Kazuya threw the ball back at Sawamura. “There’s your promised ten.” 

“Oh come on, fifteen!” 

“Whaaaa?” Kazuya replied, absolutely baffled. “No way, now go ice your shoulder. I can’t believe you even drug me all the way out here even after today’s pitching.” 

If I had a second chance, 

If we had a second chance, 

I’m sure we’d both tell each other how much we cared and loved one another. 

“Hey, Miyuki… -San.” Eijun asked on their way to the vending machine, both lightly slicked in a slight sweat. 

“Hm?” Kazuya raised an eyebrow at the honorific.  

“I love you.” 

Kazuya appeared baffled at that moment, mouth agape. Heart hammering wildly in his chest as though someone had jumped him. 

“I…” but he knew, he had always known how Sawamura had felt for him. Ever since the moment when lightning erupted over the Earth. Everyone at Seidou remembered it, somehow their memories had been preserved by the time God, Damon, lord, whatever it was. 

It had done them right this time, Kazuya supposes. 

But just because he knew how Sawamura felt, it didn’t make it easier to say it back. 

“I love you too, Ei-Chan.” Kazuya lightly hopped the other on the shoulder, to which the younger gleamed. 

“Hey, Miyuki, let me sleep in your room tonight” 

• “No.” 

“Please?” 

• “That’s super against the rules.” 

“You’re such a worry wart.” 

But alas, Kazuya would eventually cave, and with Sawamura in his arms, he found comfort in an all too comfortable sleep. 

He doesn’t mind the world ending, as long as it’s by Sawamura Eijun.

He will always love Sawamura. 

And Sawamura will always love him. 

Fin

True ending: 1

Below is the bad end! 

Fwoomf. 

A blackness would consume the entirety of the Earth then, absorbing in it everything. 

“I… couldn’t protect them…” Sawamura whispered into the nothingness he had summoned, unable to remove it. 

The world would end then, it would be ruptured and sent across all of time and space and cease to exist. At least he got to throw ten final pitches he assumes. 

“Sawamura, you can still protect them.” A voice came, and as Eijun opened his eyes to his own self he knew what he met. 

“Kill me.” Eijun pleaded and the demon sighed.

“An exchange of your life for that of the entire world? You’re willing to do that?” The demon asked, and Eijun smiled. 

“As long as Kazuya lives, of course.” 

“What a strange thing you humans are. But a deal is a deal. I’ll undo what you’ve done, take my hand.” 

—-

Kazuya gasped, eyes flinging open. He was back at the hospital. A dead flower petal falling slowly and sadly from the wilting flowers beside Eijun’s hospital bed. The air compressor pumping air into the boy’s lungs could be heard hissing as it did its job. 

“Please wake up.” Kazuya begged, forehead pressing into the neck of Sawamura, his tears bubbling from his eyes and rolling down his cheeks into the collar of the hospital gown. “I’ll never get to tell you how I feel if you don’t…” 

It would only be a few months later when they finally decided against keeping him alive, they’d pull the plug and have him burned and placed in a tree seed. Seidou would come together to plant it by the baseball field - since it was Eijun’s favorite thing. Kazuya would visit where the tree was planted many times, it would be protected by an orange fence, and he’d read to it. Other times talking about the game, or if someone whiffed it how funny it was to see them collide with the ground. 

Though the sensation of missing your lover was consuming, Kazuya was just glad he had the opportunity to know Sawamura Eijun for who he was - bright and strong. 

“Furuya still says he isn’t going to lose to you.” Kazuya laughed, flopping on his back to view the clouds. 

“I miss you, and I hope wherever you are you find happiness, Sawamura. I love you. I guess I never really told you, did I?” 

Kazuya felt the hot tears roll down his face, sticky and salty, falling into the grass blades below him. 

When he graduated, he left his catching mitt right next to the sapling. He’d make it a habit to visit yearly with the rest of the first string. They’d have a cookout in honor of Sawamura Eijun every year on the boy’s birthday. 

And Kazuya, when everyone else went home, would always make sure to catch the tree up on the missed time, and of course, always tell it a prompt “I love you.” 

“I love you, Sawamura.” 

Fin

Bad end: 1