1 - 20 of 6,534 Works in Sarcasm
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Illumi Zoldyck is a chilling figure, the embodiment of a cold-hearted assassin. With sharp features and piercing eyes, he exudes an aura of lethal elegance, viewing life as a game where emotions are weaknesses. He executes his missions with precision, making him both terrifying and enigmatic.
You are caught in a twisted fate-promised to Illumi to pay off a debt your parents incurred 17 years ago. The arranged marriage has left you feeling trapped and resentful, your enthusiasm nonexistent. To cope, you wield sarcasm like a shield, throwing out witty jabs to mask your fear and frustration.
Living in the imposing Zoldyck manor feels like being in a gilded cage, and each day brings the looming specter of your wedding. Despite the darkness, a flicker of hope lingers. Could there be warmth hidden beneath Illumi's icy exterior? As you navigate this twisted reality, you wonder if love could ever blossom in such a bleak environment, or if you're simply destined for a life of silent suffering.
Or
You find out that you are arranged to Illumi
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James didn't expect to be wound up pregnant. Not at all. Not with Jason's kid, anyway.
Now he has to navigate being a rockstar, working on an album, dealing with the press on top of having a kid on the way with his best friend. God, he hates life right now.
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Remy hums, not buying it even as she shuffles back to get comfortable. "And who kept handing me the drugs?"
House doesn't buy that either. "As I recall, you grabbed most of them out of other people's hands."
"Meanwhile, you handed him the gun."
"Always with the 'you gave him back the gun.'" He doesn't even bother to pretend to roll his eyes. "Are you ever gonna get over that?"
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A refugee-turned hero attempts to record their story in their own words. Again. Just as badly as ever.
Series
- Part 2 of Traveler
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,191
- Chapters:
- 1/?
- Kudos:
- 4
- Hits:
- 16
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I Want to Be Your Impossible by Pinkertin
Fandoms: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
29 Dec 2024
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New Year’s Resolution: Avoid chaos. Reality: Took Ashley’s terrible sexting advice, drove across town like a horny idiot, and somehow ended up ruining Claire Redfield in the best way possible. Bonus points: Now I’m in love, Chris is going to murder me, and Ashley’s probably writing fanfiction about it.
Trying a new writing style where Leon has intrusive, self-aware, 4th-wall-breaking thoughts—basically, it’s me, but with more sarcasm, poor life choices, and an unhealthy obsession with Claire Redfield. Help. lol.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,613
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 9
- Hits:
- 62
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Summary
Lucas had actually been looking forward to the beach trip at the end of summer and spending more time with his family, because things had gotten a bit strained after he'd moved out. But his sister's annoying "friend" was going to join them on their trip, and Lucas was not eager to spend an entire week with Henry Sullivan. Lucas had guessed that it would be a difficult week, but he'd never guessed that that one week around Henry would change absolutely everything about his life.
Or, the one where Lucas had a one night stand with Henry, and shagging the lad he hated ended up making things more complicated than he would've thought.
Series
- Part 2 of Home
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Just for a moment.... Make me forget. by SaplingWoods
Fandoms: Arcane: League of Legends (Cartoon 2021)
28 Dec 2024
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After surviving and stealing an airship jinx ends up crashing in the middle of nowhere and when things can't get any worse for her breaking mind her body decides it's the perfect time to start her first heat in years. Stuck with nowhere else to go and no other options but to suffer for almost a month she decides to give in to her instincts when she meets someone that came to find her.
A girl who glows like the sun.
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Strangers at the end of the Field by Ezra_kaminari
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
28 Dec 2024
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Summary
Remus Lupin is trouble, at least thats what the entire High School says about him. He looks like a thoug and beats people up. Every normal teenager avoids him, expect for Sirius who just loves to mess with things. A couple months later Sirius finds himself in Remus apartment, after losing everything he used to know. They try to navigate life through trauma and fucked up coping mechanisms, loose each other on the way but always find back to that goddamn rooftop.
Sirius being kicked out but runs off to Remus/ Wolfstar/ Remus is latino/ Sirius expiriments with his sexuality/ drug and alcohol abuse/ minor mentioning of sexual assault/ PTSD / gang violence you know all the good stuff: Angst with happy ending
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,314
- Chapters:
- 8/15
- Hits:
- 26
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Summary
Two years after the Battle of Hogwarts, Severus Snape, now regarded as a hero, finds himself adrift and despondent, burdened by the weight of his past. Reluctantly, he takes on a new job: caring for a terminally cursed woman whose only hope lies in his unparalleled potion skills. This daunting challenge forces Snape to navigate his new reality while striving to save a life hanging by a thread.
As the gloomy and often harsh Potions Master grapples with his new role, he discovers an unexpected sense of purpose. In the process, Snape faces both old and new trials, and a slow-burning romance begins to blossom, offering a glimmer of hope and warmth in his otherwise bleak existence.
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Even eight years after the war, Harry is still far from coming to terms with the past. While everyone in his life is able to move on and seems to slowly forget, he struggles with living up to the the golden image of Harry Potter. How long until he breaks under the pressure?
What an odd thing, that every now and then he is getting overwhelmed by sudden visions that reveal someone who shares, and perhaps intensifies, his pain.When the person turns out to be Draco Malfoy, Harry finds himself more confused than ever and begins searching for him somewhere in Scotland.
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When Severus sees Longbottom on the verge of yet another mishap, he seizes the chance to make a point—until Granger’s meddling derails his plan. One overlooked detail later, he’s left with the indignity of being accidentally high with the dunderheads he’s forced to teach.
Series
- Part 3 of Draughts and Dilemmas
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The Wound decides to drop an angel and her pipefox on Lann’s head. Well… almost. The pipefox comes later.
Now it’s up to Lann to survive the surface with its surprising friendships, found family, and demons that have no idea they’re about to be pitched into the middle of the most ridiculous romance this side of the planes. Really: if he dies from anything, it won’t be demons. It’ll be from an angel trimming his stupid horn.
Updates every Wednesday & Saturday.
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A Quintessential Jorvegian Summer Vacation by equestrianequivalent
Fandoms: Star Stable (Video Games)
28 Dec 2024
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Summary
Your entire life, you've been biding your time.
Waiting for a chance to leave.
As if by fate, you stumble upon it. Your chance has finally arrived.
So you leave, and intend on never looking back.
You've got it all figured out. Or so you tell yourself, at least.
If I were you, though, I would prepare for a change of plans.
After all, who's to say you're in control?
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This is a self-indulgent rewrite of the main story of Star Stable Online. I have a lot of fun with it, and I hope you will too! Heavy focus on improving Elizabeth's character, with a lot of liberties taken in terms of what I change and how. Fully canon-compliant, and readable regardless of if you play Star Stable or not.
For a detailed overview of the upload schedule, please see the pinned post on @equestrianequivalent on tumblr. Next batch of chapter(s) to be uploaded: Chapter 33, either alone or together with 34. (Will depend on the length of 33.)
Thank you to @jorvikzelda and @thereisabearonmyceiling for being the main reasons this fic is as good as it can be.
Series
- Part 1 of Unto Daylight
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I made this for a class a while back, but I thought it was a hoot, so here it is. If I can figure out how to add an image, you will also get the cover art I made at some point.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 974
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 3
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The Doctor has held many regrets throughout his many lives - each one more brutal than the last. This one, however, proved particularly brutal and painful to endure, making him feel more lost and empty than he had been since the Time War. Little does he know, that help is a lot closer than he would like to believe...
Could be considered as a prequel to my other Last Christmas fic, 'Never Gonna Give You Up'.
Series
- Part 2 of Festive Fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,934
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 4
- Hits:
- 18
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Summary
The God of Mystery, Liu Ying, had been missing from the Heavenly Realm for a century, on the run from a past that always seems to be hot on his heels. Living disguised amongst mortals, he's one day thrusted into a mystery he's forced to solve and in the process, accidentally calls the attention of gods that seek him for retribution to his crimes. In yet another attempt to evade capture, Liu Ying ends up meeting Chen Yun, seemingly a cultivator with secrets of his own and is his only way out of the village of Ludong.
Complicated feelings left in the dust of a past life resurface when Liu Ying comes to realize that Chen Yun isn't who he thought he was, and now must make a decision that will change the trajectory of the rest of his immortal life. -
What Life Was Missing by JustJim, Useless_girl
Fandoms: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game), Teen Wolf (TV)
28 Dec 2024
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Solomon Reed’s shocking revelation kicks things into motion. V asks for Rogue’s help to put together a crew and the first big heist since his coma. The goal is to save one rockerboy, who doesn’t seem to be able to stay dead. The question is: will they succeed or will Militech crush them?
Series
- Part 3 of Cyberpunk 2077 - A Passion For the Ages
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Summary
When Numair escapes Carthak, he agrees to become a brutal war mage in Galla in exchange for a new life. Years later, an ungifted woman offers to work for the terrifying Black Mage. Amazed that she isn’t afraid of him, Numair agrees - but there’s a reason none of his servants leave his home unscathed.
D/N, AU set in the same timeline as TI.
Updated every SUNDAY.
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A story where the Pogues were a family of 5 instead of 4. There now being not only two trouble makers, but having a third. A girl who's world was her friends, having nothing else to lose-she is someone who would do anything and everything for her found family.
What happens when Romance seeps into the seams of their friendship?
Will she risk their friendship for the sake of her feelings?
Or will she keep him at a distance? -
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Summary
Written from the perspective of Michael Afton, he recounts his many trials and tribulations working his way through his absolutely batshit insane life and world in the years after his first death.
Series
- Part 1 of Michael Afton: Book One
- Part 1 of All Michael Afton Works (Chronological Order)