1 - 20 of 173 Works in Sarcastic Harry Potter
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Harry thought he had left the wizarding world behind after he had given it everything, including his life. However, when he finds himself in the middle of the 21st century witch trials and loses his family, he has no time to contemplate who he will turn to for support.
He might say he found more trouble than is worth, but for his children, he would fraternize with the enemy.Or:
When Harry's children are kidnapped, the last place he expects to find help is from Voldemort—and definitely not from the man’s overenthusiastic followers. As Harry dives into the rescue mission, he starts to question his sanity. After all, why else would he be wondering if the Dark Lord is actually flirting with him? And how does Draco Malfoy fit into the puzzle?
(extreme slow burn)
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Harry is so done with this year before it even starts. Eight year begins with a bang as parties and new friendships are found. Follow Harry and Draco's journey through their path to love.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,958
- Chapters:
- 1/9
- Hits:
- 17
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Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? (you should be) by Snoweylily
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
25 Dec 2024
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“No post on Sundays” Uncle Vernon announced happily, “No damn letters today-”
Something came whizzing down the kitchen chimney as he spoke and caught him sharply on the back of the head. The next moment, thirty or forty letters came pelting out of the fireplace like bullets.
“That does it!” he snapped, his beady little eyes focused solely on Harry, “It’s you that they want. And they won’t stop coming after us until you’re… gone”.
Harry didn't like the sound of that.
“But Vernon, we can’t! You heard what that- that despicable old man told us!”
“Don’t worry, pet” Vernon said, his nasty grin triumphant, “I’ll leave him someplace so far away that those freaks will never trace him back to us. There’s an institute up north, for these- these hopeless cases and whatnot - St Brutus's Secure Centre for Boys. I’ll leave him there, and then we can get back to our nice, normal life”.Or, the one where Harry doesn't attend Hogwarts in first year but finds his way to the wizarding world anyway, and this changes everything.
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The Ghost of the Peverell Prince by TheArchivist111
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
22 Dec 2024
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"Who are you?"
"Canis."
"Who are you really?"
"Hadrian Peverell."
"The Peverell Prince?"
"Something like that." -
Invisible Walls by kuroi_atropos
Fandoms: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, Game of Thrones (TV), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
19 Dec 2024
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Harlan Baratheon is the first son and heir born to the recently crowned Robert Baratheon, the First of His Name, King of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, and Protector of the Realm and his Queen, Cersei Lannister. Despite his rocky childhood, he is a wildly popular and much beloved Prince to the people. To the various schemers around his father’s throne, he is a pain in the ass meddler that is somehow always where he shouldn’t be, interfering in their plans.
Harry Potter is quite over piss poor people raising him and even more over them being in charge of worlds Death has charged him to help, thank you.
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Save me from what I want (unless it's you) by izipizi_077
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
18 Dec 2024
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“ But then reality crashed back in, and with it, the cold, hard truth that he had let his guard down. He had told this stranger, this boy he barely knew, everything—too much.
Tom knew what he had to do.
His heart thudding in his chest, Tom gently shifted Harry’s head off his shoulder and stood up. With a swift, practiced motion, he drew his wand, pointing it at the boy’s still form. “
Or,
Harry's not having a good time. He's 50 years hurled into the past, blinded, with no one to turn to. Until he finds himself face to face with Parker Wuhay, a man who promises Harry salvation, at least…that's what he thinks.
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Throughout the fic, Harry will be constantly lying to the people around him. And as this story will be (for the most part) told by him, he probably lied to you too.
This has not been beta-read, and my SPaG is terrible. Apologies in advance.
You've been warned ;) +2
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It's been several years since the epic battle of Hogwarts, and the golden trio are in a new phase of their lives, adapting to the inevitable changes that come with maturity. Hermione finds herself stuck in a monotonous work routine, watching longingly as all her friends progress in their personal lives, while she only has the company of a lonely cat in her London apartment. However, everything changes when she is forced to collaborate with a tedious companion and his charming brood.
On the other hand, Draco Malfoy, after years living in France, returns to England in search of new job opportunities and to educate his son in the soil where he grew up. His life becomes even more complicated when he faces not only opposition from bigoted fanatics who disagree with his return, but also another evil guy who threatens to come back and take revenge. You must face the dangers that present themselves to protect what is most precious in your world. Fortunately, he finds some help along the way.
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If Only I Could Wake You Up(if only I could fall asleep) by A1B23C
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
14 Dec 2024
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Harry Potter is sick of putting on a show and playing into the golden boy facade. Everyone will see what they want so what’s the point of pretending? He finally starts to show the parts of him that aren’t so perfect.
Or:
Harry apparates into the Slytherin common room during a fight. How will Harry and Slytherin house react when this becomes a regular ordeal? What about when it happens during all of Harry’s worst moments?
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Harry’s a slytherin and a vampire. His school days aren’t going that well. Life kinda sucks. There’s already been an attempt on his life ,and he’s pretty sure Quirrell’s a vampire hunter.
Oh, did I mention that Harry thinks snape is a vampire?
Series
- Part 2 of Jam’s Creature Harry Potter fics
- Part 2 of Multiple chapter works, by me ꒡ꆚ꒡
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"There was a fine line between bravery and stupidity. Severus had spent his entire childhood in the Snape household avoiding that line, but he wondered how often Potter toed the line in the Dursley home. The boy was walking on the edge of a cliff, knowing full well what may happen if the winds pushed too hard."
Severus was sent to check on Potter the summer of Voldemort's resurrection. He just didn't expect a long lost part of him to relate to the boy.
Update: A three part fic where Snape realises that the boy he's hated for years might be a lot more similar to him than he expected
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“有人在针对我，哈利，”汤姆说。“我受制于人。已经不是一次两次了，而是在过去两个月内发生了三次。”他微微闭了闭眼。“很明显，有人在发泄某种无凭无据的仇怨。”
“而且只针对你？你太难了，老板，”哈利说。汤姆有个暗敌，哈利给汤姆做午饭。
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Harry Potter was a snake in a lion's pelt, what was more Slytherin than that? He was the perfect golden boy, but that mask wouldn't last long as Harry was ordered to have a resort at the beginning of his fifth year. Harry goes from Griffendore to Slytherin which was a decision no one but him expected. The school and Harry's friends turn against him, and he is left alone without a second thought from anyone. Or so he thought till he became friends with people who would change his life for better or worse.
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Adventures of a Suicidal Gentleman by House_of_Shells
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
01 Dec 2024
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Draco muốn tự tử, nhưng hắn cố không làm quá về chuyện đó. Harry muốn ngủ với Draco, nhưng anh không muốn bày tỏ quá lộ liễu. Hiểu lầm! Day dứt! Đau buồn! Ghét bản thân mình nhưng theo một cách quyến rũ chăng?
Cùng với sự có mặt của: Gia tinh Misty sẽ không để ai bắt nạt mình, một Astoria có những ý định bí ẩn, một Draco quyết định dùng sự hài hước cho qua mọi chuyện và một Harry không biết mình muốn gì, ngoại trừ việc muốn chạm vào khuôn mặt xinh xắn của Draco.
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“Why can’t you just leave me alone?”
“Why should I? You wear pain so well, Harry Potter. Such a performance.”
“I hate you,” Harry whispered then.
They stood there together, at the arch of the bridge and Voldemort smiled again, slow.
“Liar.” -
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There's a new student at Hogwarts. And, for some reason, he's decided he's going to be Tom Riddle's best friend.
Tom, immortal aspiring Dark Lord, apparently has no say in the matter.
~
to love, and to be loved, is to be changed.
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Harry Potter walks to his death, not realizing that fate has other plans. He's the Master of Death, which doesn't seem all that great when Death is a total douchebag. Can Harry change his future by going to the past? Can Harry change a young Ton Riddle for the better? Or will Tom Riddle change him for the worst. Will Death ever stop calling Harry annoying pet names? Come find out......
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It started with a rat.
A rat scurrying through the garden, eating Aunt Petunia's prized roses. He did it without thinking, bringing the shovel in his hand to cut the creature clean in half.
Petunia had screamed.
Dudley threw up.
Vernon had dragged him inside before beating him black and blue.And Harry...Harry discovered something rather unnerving about himself.
Because this little rat had been powerless against him. For the first time in his short life, Harry Potter had gained power.
He felt addicted.It started with a rat, and ended with No.4 Privet Drive burning to the ground.
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Happiness can be found even in the darkest moments by HadrianPeverellBlack
Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
03 Nov 2024
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Harry James Potter is Sam's and Dean's little brother.
This is how it all change
Series
- Part 1 of Jerk, Bitch & Brat series
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Sorry in advance for any spelling mistakes or uh wassit called. Grammar that’s it any grammar mistakes 🫶🫶
I also pick up and drop things quickly but I’m going to set like 100 timers so I won’t (hopefully) just drop the fic halfway done but if I do stop the fic in this box or whatever will be ‘🛑THIS FIC IS ABANDONED🛑’ message so you’ll know. xxxx
Alsoo tell me if you want the pages TW’d for specific things I didn’t add in the TW and I will add them.
(I’ll update at least once a week btw!!!!)
I think that’s it so ENJOY 🎉🫶🩷
Series
- Part 1 of The Chaos That Is Harry Potter
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Christo, I think I have some broken bones by HadrianPeverellBlack
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Supernatural (TV 2005)
24 Oct 2024
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“Well, the younger Winchester comes to die.”
Harry bared his teeth in defiance. “You first!”
Dousing the demon with holy water and hearing it scream had not been necessary, but Harry had felt vengeful, since he had designed the trap to stop it with his own blood.
And, after all, it had been his duty to exorcize the demon.
Series
- Part 26 of Cultober 2024
- Part 14 of Jerk, Bitch & Brat series