Archive of Our Own ^beta

Hatz thought he’s going crazy. Reliving the same day for nth time, not knowing how to break this curse or loop or whatever the fuck this is, not knowing what caused this to happen, and to top it off, he’s going through this alone with no one to help him!

Well, turns out he is wrong. So wrong.

As he stares at Bam’s slightly crazed and threatening eyes, he realized two things:

1. Bam is turning crazier than he is, and
2. He’s not the only one going through this time loop.

“Hatz, even though you’re one of my dearest friends, I’m honestly running out of patience.” Bam growls. “Every day, or should I say, every time this day resets without me being together with Khun… not able to touch, kiss or hug him …it’s driving me up the wall. I’m begging you to start explaining why all of this is happening and how can we be free of this before I snap.”

Scratch number one, Bam isn’t turning crazy- he’s mad.

Hatz gulped, and answered honestly, “I’m sorry, while I do have an idea why this is happening, I do not know how to break this.”

Thinking about it, Hatz should have noticed Bam’s increasing agitation during the past few loops. But his mind was too busy on figuring out how to fix the situation they were in. There were clear signs of Bam’s ‘Khun Depravation Disorder’ or KDD (as Isu likes to call it). It’s what they call Bam’s behavior whenever he’s separated from Khun for more than a few days. It wasn’t this bad before, but somewhere along their too many separations and Khun’s too many close calls with death, Bam has had enough and wasn’t comfortable- to put it mildly- with Khun being away from him.

Bam said nothing, and patiently waits for Hatz to explain. Taking a deep breath, the samurai started with, “It’s my fault- that much I knew.”

Flashback

Hatz presses a kiss to Endorsi’s forehead as he passes her by the sofa, “I’ll see you later in the evening, my princess.”

Endorsi smiles sweetly at him, “I know you’re the one who booked our reservation, but I would still like to remind you that our date is at 11 pm, okay? Don’t be late, my knight.”

Hatz just nods in response. Isu whistles at their words and cried at no one, “Ah, my poor single heart, I’m surrounded by lovebirds this Christmas eve. Oh, woe is dear me.”

“Perhaps this is your sign to find a girlfriend,” Anak drawls.

“Ha! As if it’s easy for him to get one,” Khun chimes in from the other side of Bam’s screen. Currently, Bam and Khun are having a video call as the latter one is somewhere else with their other team members. “Or a boyfriend for that matter.”

Anak and Endorsi burst into laughter and Isu immediately starts fake crying at the background. Bam scolds his lover gently, “Khun, be nice to Isu.”

Khun just smiles in response, “You’ll fetch me later at the airport, right?”

“Of course, love. I miss you. I can’t wait for you to come back to me.”

Isu wails louder before turning to ask Hatz who is already by the door, “Hatz! Can I come with you? Please, save me!”  

Hatz didn’t miss a bit as he heads out the door, “No.” Isu’s scream of ‘unfilial son!’ fading out as he walks away.

Hatz first stops for today is at this jewelry shop that is known for their customized pieces. He had placed his order as soon as they settled down on this floor.

“Good morning, how can I help you, sir?”

“I’m here for my order, it’s under the name ‘Hatz.’”

The attendant quickly showed a face of understanding, “This way please.”

With his gift for Endorsi secured in his inventory, Hatz then went to a barber. His hair has grown too long for his liking, and knowing his girlfriend, she’ll prefer that they’ll look their best for tonight’s date. Afterwards, he went to buy a new suit.

By the time Hatz is done with all of his preparation, it's already past 7pm. Hatz and Endorsi decided to just meet at the restaurant so he does not need to go back to their stay. Instead, he went ahead to the hotel and booked a room for them. The restaurant he booked is located on the top floor of this hotel so it's convenient. He'll stay here and get himself ready while waiting for their appointment.

15 minutes before their reservation, Hatz went up to the restaurant. He told the server his booking and he was led to a table in the center that was right next to the floor to ceiling windows. The view from the top is spectacular as you can clearly see the sparkling lights of the city below and the nearby snow park with adorable Christmas decorations. Hatz took the seat to the left, because he knows that Endorsi would love to seat on the right one where the lights will hit her perfectly and enhance her beauty.

Speaking of Endorsi...

Soft clicking of heels draw near him and soon, a pair of lips planted a kiss on his cheek. "Hi, Hatz."

Hatz stands up as he took in the sight of his girlfriend. Endorsi looks so breathtaking tonight that it took some time for him to speak again. His love is dressed in a light pink long dress that shows off her beautiful shoulders and is tight in just the right places to see her gorgeous figure. Her hair is loose, but lightly curled that frames her amazing, lovable, and enchanting face.

He truly is a lucky guy.

Endorsi smirks and pressed herself to him, "What~ cat got your tongue?"

Hatz automatically wraps his arms around her waist and gulps. "You're so... Beautiful."

"I know." Endorsi kisses him quickly on the lips before making a show of looking him up and down. She lets out a low whistle and said, "Not bad yourself, handsome. I love the suit too."

Hatz smiles wryly to himself, he had to swallow a bit of his pride to ask Khun for advice for what to wear.

Endorsi tilts her head up and whispers, "I can't wait to pull it off of you."

Hatz groans before kissing his girlfriend to make her shut up. "Dinner first."

Endorsi laughs as she pulls away from his embrace, "Then desserts, right?"

At this point, Hatz is blushing brightly that he can't look at Endorsi directly. "I already ordered some food and wine; we just need to wait."

"Awww, what a gentleman. I love you."

"Love, please. I love you too." Hatz then asked about the plans of their teammates. As far as he's concerned, all of them agreed to do their own thing before meeting all again at their stay tomorrow to have a Christmas party. But he doesn't know what their plans were before that.

"Bam will be fetching Khun & the others tonight. Apparently, he and Khun will take a vacation after Christmas. So, they will be staying at the house until after our party. Shibisu and Anaak are doing last minute shopping and they still haven’t come back when I left.”

Their food didn’t take long to arrive and the couple enjoyed their dinner.

A loud bell- like sound suddenly chimes throughout the restaurant signaling that the clock has struck 12 midnight.

“Merry Christmas!” The staff all yelled joyfully, and some patrons echoed their greetings. The lights suddenly dimmed, making some of them gasp in surprise, but then candles strategically placed around the restaurant lights up one by one creating a mysterious yet beautiful atmosphere. The musicians playing in the corner changed their music into a romantic song.

Endorsi sat up straighter, wondering what’s going on. This set up suggests that something big is going to happen soon. She took a peek at Hatz and saw him staring at her softly with a loving gaze. Her heart missed a beat, could it be…?

The doors to the kitchen opened and out came some servants holding flowers and pushing a cart with a heart shaped chocolate cake on top of it. They seem to be heading towards where Hatz and Endorsi are sitting down. As they drew near, Endorsi heart started beating a little bit faster. Even though her attention is focused on them, she still noticed Hatz rummaging through his coat’s inner pocket. Anticipation floods her being… could it be… this time…it’s happening?

The servants arrived by their table and Hatz has successfully pulled out a box.

Endorsi gasped.

The servants passed by their table to head to the one behind her and Hatz is greeting her a ‘Merry Christmas!’ while proudly showing off a beautiful necklace inside the box that was too big to fit a... Endorsi smiled, although it was strained and thanks her lover for the gift.

It’s her fault, she got her hopes up. This is so embarrassing. Hatz doesn’t even deserve such a lukewarm response from her for the necklace, it really is beautiful and she can see that it is a custom-made piece for her. She should be happy about this. She is happy.

Hatz stands up from his seat and gently maneuvers around her to put the necklace around her neck.

It’s just that…

There’s a pang of disappointment. A wound in the heart that aches and didn’t seem to go away now that it has been opened. She feels so foolish, so ashamed.

It’s just that…

Hatz and her has been dating for 10 years, and it’s been 3 years now since they have defeated Jahad and continued to climb the tower.

It’s just that…

She’s just a girl. And despite her tough personality, she’s still a romantic girl who dreams of gestures from her lover that would make her swoon, make her heart beat fast, and bring tears of joy to her eyes. Of someone who'll promise to stay by her side until the end of her life. Can you blame her for being a girl?

“I knew it. I knew it would compliment your eyes. You look so unreal.”

Endorsi snaps out of her daze to see Hatz staring at her dreamily. All things considered, she’s a lucky girl to have Hatz in her life. She smiles, more sincere this time, and pulled Hatz down to her level by pulling on his shirt. They kissed passionately. “Desserts, now?”

Hatz couldn’t reply properly as Endorsi seductively pulls out the card to their room from his pocket, stands up, and then sashays out of the restaurant. He lets out a chuckle as he follows her. For some reason though, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong just now with his girlfriend.

Well, he’s sure it’s nothing much. If it’s something really bothering her, she would have told him by now.

The next morning, Hatz woke up feeling good and refreshed. Nothing beats spending a perfect night with his lover. He turns in bed, planning to plant a kiss to Endorsi’s cheek… only to find it empty. Confused and more alert, Hatz sat up in bed.

With a shock, he is surprised to find himself back in his bedroom from their stay. Wasn’t he in a hotel with Endorsi? How come he’s back here?

He looks around in the room and happen to glance at the digital calendar by the bed. His eyes widen when he saw the date.

December 24.

Eh? Isn’t it Christmas already? Hatz pinches himself to see if he’s awake or dreaming. The pain and the redness of his skin proved that he is definitely not dreaming. Which means, Hatz was dreaming earlier. Looks like he was so excited about today that it reflected in his dreams. What an oddly detailed dream.

It wasn’t until he bids goodbye to Endorsi and his friends that the first sense of déjà vu hits him.

Hatz presses a kiss to Endorsi’s forehead as he passes her by the sofa, “I’ll see you later in the evening, my princess.”

Endorsi smiles sweetly at him, “I know you’re the one who booked our reservation, but I would still like to remind you that our date is at 11 pm, okay? Don’t be late, my knight.”

Hatz just nods in response. Isu whistles at their words and cried at no one, “Ah, my poor single heart, I’m surrounded by lovebirds this Christmas eve. Oh, woe is dear me.”

“Perhaps this is your sign to find a girlfriend,” Anak drawls.

“Ha! As if it’s easy for him to get one,” Khun chimes in from the other side of Bam’s screen. Currently, Bam and Khun are having a video call as the latter one is somewhere else with their other team members. “Or a boyfriend for that matter.”

Anak and Endorsi burst into laughter and Isu immediately starts fake crying at the background. Bam scolds his lover gently, “Khun, be nice to Isu.”

Khun just smiles in response, “You’ll fetch me later at the airport, right?”

“Of course, love. I miss you. I can’t wait for you to come back to me.”

Isu wails louder before turning to ask Hatz who is already by the door, “Hatz! Can I come with you? Please, save me!”  

Hatz didn’t miss a bit as he heads out the door, “No.” Isu’s scream of ‘unfilial son!’ fading out as he walks away. The swordman frowns, thinking to himself that this is exactly what happened in his dream.

The second wave of déjà vu hits at the jewelry shop. Then, at the barber. And again, when he went to buy his suit for tonight. The events of today were unfolding exactly like his dream that it’s uncanny. By the time he arrived at the hotel, Hatz is already uneasy.

His dinner date also pans out the way it is in his dream, the only difference is that he caught Endorsi’s odd expression this time when he was about to give him his gift. But he got distracted by his girlfriend’s beauty that he shrugged it off together with the weirdness of today. Tonight, he’ll enjoy spending time with his love one.

When Hatz opens his eyes, he was greeted with the familiar ceiling of his room in their stay once again. Shocked, he bolts upright and looked at the digital calendar once again.

December 24.

Shit.

Hatz carefully observed everyone and everything as he goes about this day for the 3^rd time. Bam sounds less chipper than normal when he’s talking to earrings, but that may be just his paranoia talking. He needs to find out the reason why does he keep re-living the same day again and again. Is he stuck in a time loop? Is this being done by someone powerful? Is this a floor test and he just don’t remember being in one? So many questions and no answers to be found.

Hatz’s feeling of dread mounts higher as the day progress by and there’s still no clue to be found. In the next moment, he is sitting once again at the restaurant eating dinner with Endorsi.

“Love, are you okay?”

He smiles tightly, “Yes, just nervous I guess.”

Endorsi raises one eyebrow, “What are you nervous for?”

Just then, the clock chimed once again signifying Christmas Day has arrived and the people are merrily greeting each other. The lights dimmed and out came the same set of servers with the heart shaped cake. It was for the couple sitting behind Endorsi, the guy asked the girl for her hand in marriage. Since he knows what’s going to happen already, his sharp eyes took every miniscule detail he can observe from everyone around them. But he found nothing out of place. Frustrated, he takes a look at Endorsi and his heart skipped a beat.

His girlfriend is looking at the servers with anticipation clearly written on her face. Confused, he took a glance back at the approaching servers but could not find anything that would make his lover excited. When the servers passed by and he gave her the necklace, Hatz caught the brief second of disappointment flashing across Endorsi’s face before smiling at him.

It suddenly clicked on Hatz as his heart started beating faster and the feeling of dread grows stronger.

Oh, Endorsi is the cause of the loop.

The next morning, Hatz isn’t surprised anymore that he’s back at their stay. He went through the now familiar scene of saying goodbye to his friends, and quickly went to the jewelry shop. Before he entered though, he made a quick call to the restaurant to request for something to be arranged. Then he proceeded to go through his day as usual.

When evening rolls in, Hatz is excited to test if this is finally the night when the day will stop looping itself. He carefully observes Endorsi’s face as the lights dimmed and the servants came out with the cake. Two sets of servants with a different heart shaped cake on each tray.

Hatz feels like he hit the jackpot when Endorsi smiles so brightly as one of the servers’ team stops at their table with a cake. He pulls out the box with the necklace, and gently opens it to show her his gift, “Merry Christmas, love.”

Endorsi gasps as she saw the beautiful necklace, and the servers carefully placed the cake right in front of her. She took a look at the cake and her smile dropped for a second before pulling up again, but Hatz was quick to catch it. His heart sinks. Shit, is he wrong? Is this not what Endorsi wants?

“Thank you, love.” Endrosi smiles at him.

Hatz was frozen in his seat that he forgot that he was supposed to place the necklace on Endorsi.

“Hatz, are you okay?”

“Yes, sorry. I was just stunned by how beautiful you look when you smile.”

Endorsi blushed at that, playfully swatting at Hatz as she laughs. “Oh, you sweet talker.” She then grabs a knife and started cutting the cake. She maybe thought that Hatz wouldn’t noticed, but he can clearly see the slight disappointment in her face as she moves.

Hatz looked down at the now sliced cake, the ‘Merry Christmas, my dear princess’ that was written on it is now ruined. He swallows, he failed.

When Hatz woke this time, he laid still for a moment. He went through his options and think what could possibly make Endorsi happy? What was he lacking in that dinner? He’s pretty sure that the cause of the time loop is because Endorsi wants, no scratch that, she needs something from him. But what could it be?

He opens up his and Endorsi’s messages and browse through all the latest things that Endorsi said that she wants to have. He crossed out quite a few items that he knows that Endorsi already bought and owned. In the end, he’s left with five items. With a determined sigh, he decided that he’ll head out earlier than usual seeing he has quite a few more items he needs to buy.

He run into Shibisu as he goes downstairs.

“Whoa! What’s the hurry?”

“Nothing,” Hatz answer as he made a sandwich. This will hold him until he gets to the mall for a much proper breakfast. “Just want to head out early today.”

“Can I come with you? Pretty please! I am honestly not done yet with my Christmas shopping!” Isu asks, making puppy dog eyes at him. “My dear son, please let your dearest father come with you!”

Hatz automatic response of ‘no’ was about to escape his mouth when he paused and changed his mind, “Sure, be quick. I won’t wait for you once I’m done eating this.”

Shibisu immediately ran towards the stairs and disappeared for a few minutes. Hatz is rinsing his mouth with a mouth wash when he came back down, breathing heavily. “Alright! I’m ready, let’s go!”

Hatz sighs and they both bid goodbye to Anaak who was the only one awake at that time asides from the two of them. They missed Bam who just arrived downstairs with an incomprehensible look on his face, staring after them.

“So, what are the plans for today?”

“I need to pick a few things up and get a haircut. And then, I need to buy a few more gifts.”

“How about I help you with your shopping, and you help me with mine?”

“Deal.”

Tonight, Hatz is really hoping that at least one of these new items he bought will make Endorsi happy. He bought her a new dress, a new eyeshadow palette, a new perfume, a new moisturizer cream and a new pair of sandals. He still arranged for a cake to be delivered to their table to keep all of his bases covered.

He failed.

Hatz woke up with a sigh. He doesn’t know what’s going on and how to solve this. He was about to go out of his room when someone knocks on his door. Bam’s voice comes next, “Can I come in, Hatz?”

“Sure.”

And that’s how Hatz got himself in the current situation.

Present Time

Bam stared at the samurai with a half- unimpressed look and a half- pity look.

“I’m sorry for keeping you unintentionally away from Khun, I swear I am trying and not even aware that you’re aware of this weird time loop going on!”  Because of course, being a powerful irregular, Bam must have been unaffected if he thinks about it.

“For me, the loop ends and starts when I can finally see Khun exiting the gates and he just saw me. We were so close to being reunited. I only figured out that you're aware of the loop when you deviated from your usual actions and agreed to take Isu with you.”

Hatz closes his eyes in guilt. “I’m sorry.”

Bam sighs, “It’s not your fault. You and I both don’t know why are we stuck in this time loop in the first place. You said Endorsi is the cause of it, but it’s pretty clear she’s not even aware of what’s happening.”

“I’ve run out of ideas. I don’t know what Endorsi wants…”

“Why don’t you just ask her?”

Hatz stared at Bam with wide eyes, “What?”

“I’ve learned from a lot of people that communication is key to a healthy, loving, and long- lasting relationship. And I want that for Khun and I. I want us to last forever, for as long as this cruel tower permits us to live.

Khun… he may be open to me about some things that he wants, but not all of them. It even took me multiple tries to know his greatest fears. It took me an even longer time to reassure him that the love I feel for him is real and that I wouldn’t abandon him, that I would never see him nor treat him as anything less.

We talk about our needs, our wants, our fears, and our hopes and plan for the future. It gets easier with time. You and Endorsi have been in a relationship longer than I and Khun does, shouldn’t you have an easier time doing this?”

“We do talk. About our own fears, feelings and wants. But… now that you mentioned it, we have never really talked about our future. We made short plans before, because of the upcoming war, but now that the war is over… we haven’t talked again what are our plans now. I have no idea what she wants to do now asides from climbing together with our friends. You’re right, I should ask her.”

“Goodluck.”

Hatz laughs, “Thanks, man. Did you know that at first, I thought she also wanted a cake to be delivered to our table? Oh, how wrong I was hahaha!”

Bam laughs alongside with him, “A cake?”

“Yeah! A couple were sitting behind Endorsi at that time. The guy used the cake to propose to the girl. Endorsi was looking at the cake so longingly and excitedly that I thought she also wanted a cake.”

The irregular’s jaw dropped at that information and he stared at Hatz in disbelief. “Bro.”

“…What?”

“Hatz, I don’t think you need to ask her what she wants. I think you need to ask her a whole different question.”

“… and that is?”

“Listen, Khun and I are in a relationship for 6 years and we’re already engaged. How long has it been for you and Endorsi? 9? 10 years? More than that?”

“It’s been 10 years already, but what does that have to do with all of thi--- oh.”

Later that day, as Endorsi is preparing for her and Hatz’s dinner date, she suddenly received a message from him.

“Sorry love, something happened and the restaurant will be unable to accommodate us tonight. But they gave us a new reservation somewhere else. The time moved too to 11:30 pm. The place is called The Garden of Alcinous and is actually quite near the hotel and restaurant. I just checked the place and know you’ll love it. You still up for it?”

Endorsi smiles at the message. She’s not that bothered about the change to be honest. She typed a quick reply before hopping into the shower. “No worries love, I’ll see you there!”

Endorsi was late by a few minutes and when she arrived, she actually questioned if she’s actually at the right place. She was about to ask the driver of the cab she took but the man already drove away. Her map also shows that she’s in the right place.

So why…is the place so dark? And why is there no one else here?

There’s a path leading forward, and it seems she has no choice but to follow it. She didn’t walk for long before she found an arch with the words The Garden of Alcinous on it and two women dressed in a white dress waiting just beneath the arch.

One of them steps forward with a smile on her face, “Miss Endorsi, we have been waiting for you. Please, come this way. Just follow the path until you reached the gazebo at the end.”

Endorsi smiles back at them as she’s guided to walk under the arch and into the trail they’re talking about. A small sound of surprise escapes her as the flowers on either side of her suddenly bloomed and glowed with light. With each step she took, the flowers light up one by one as if guiding her where to go. The smells of flowers also fill her nose and she feels so wonderfully light at the magical scene. When she finally reached the gazebo, the fairy lights wrapped around the place also lights up one by one, illuminating the place. In the center of the gazebo, there’s a table filled with their favorite foods and flowers, and chairs for two people. Music suddenly fills the air as a band of musicians plays a song from somewhere hidden from her view.

Endorsi’s chest feels so tight with anticipation, happiness and love for her boyfriend. What is going on? This is so romantic.

“Endorsi.”

The princess turns around where she heard Hatz voice came from.

She gasped, and chocked slightly as tears started falling from her eyes. A hand automatically comes up to cover her mouth in shock as the reality of the situation finally sinks into her. Her shoulders tremble as she cries and stares at Hatz lovingly.

Hatz, for his part, looks like a dashing prince kneeling on one knee right in front of her. He’s looking at her as if she’s the most beautiful thing in this tower and that nothing else exists in his world.

“Endorsi, love of my life, I am not a perfect man and at times I wonder if I deserve such an amazing and beautiful being like you. I know I have my faults and that there are things that I lack, there are even times that I do not know what you really feel and want. But despite all that, you have accepted and loved me for who I am and I hope that you’ll continue to do so.

I offer you everything that I have. My sword, my strength, my devotion, and my love. I’ll give them all to you. I promise that I’ll try my best to always support you, to provide for you, and to cherish you for as long as we live.

Will you accept me as your husband, and marry me?”

Distantly, they heard the sound of the clock as it chimes 12 and snow started falling down on them.

Sniffing, the princess tries to compose herself first before smiling happily at the love of her life. On this Christmas day, she gave her the sweetest answer she could give him.

“Yes. There’s nothing more that I want than spend the rest of my life with you.”

Extra:

Bam hugs Khun tightly in his arms, inhaling his scent that he missed so much and once again familiarizing himself with the feeling of having Khun within his embrace. Khun laughs, teasingly asking him, “You missed me that much?”

“I’ll always miss you this much.” He replies as he presses a quick kiss on the blue hair of his lover.

Khun snuggles in his arms, wrapping his arms more tightly around him and tucking his head underneath his chin, “Hmm, I miss you too this much.”

Bam presses another kiss on his head, “I love you, and Merry Christmas darling.”

“Merry Christmas!”