Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sunoo wakes up first that morning, his sleepy eyes meeting a Sunghoon in what seems to be the deepest slumber ever. He smiles at the sight of his friend, who’s breathing ever so quietly and drooling. Their bodies have separated by now, but they’re still fairly close together; Sunoo had woken up on his stomach just a few inches away from the drummer, who probably rolled onto his back at some point during the night. He scoots closer to Sunghoon and attaches himself right against the older’s side, slotting his head into the crook of his bandmate’s neck before eventually also slipping one of his legs in between Sunghoon’s.

With all the movement and touches that take place, Sunghoon can’t help but start to squirm awake, yawning big and stretching his arms out. The weight of Sunoo at his side prompts him to reach across himself and pet the younger’s hair, “G’morning.”

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Sunoo giggles.

“Whatcha doin’?” Sunghoon asks while rubbing his eyes.

“Just…” Sunoo bites his lip in thought, unsure of how he’s supposed to disclose to the older that he just wants to be held and pet and kissed and adored by him, “dunno I guess.”

Sunghoon just chuckles quietly, bending the arm stuck under Sunoo to rub the younger’s side. The blonde draws a squiggly line from Sunghoon’s mid thigh all the way up to his abdomen, “Can I say something to you?”

Sunghoon closes his eyes again after sticking his nose in Sunoo’s hair, “Sure.”

Sunoo traces every line in his bandmate’s abs before switching to giving the older some tummy rubs, and the touches make Sunghoon want to tense up and relax at the same time; stare at the movement of his friend’s hand while also letting his head fall back and his eyes fall shut. He opts for a fair mix of both, opening his eyes, but also taking a deep breath to gain some sort of self control. 

“Sometimes I wonder why you still play the ‘Daejung’ role after all these years.” Sunoo mumbles while looking up at the older’s face.

Sunghoon slowly turns his head and looks down at the guitarist, “Why do you say that?”

“Because,” Sunoo giggles before nonchalantly throwing his leg across Sunghoon’s lap to straddle the older’s hips, leaning down to whisper in his bandmate’s ear, “figured you’d get tired of it by now.”

Sunghoon’s breath hitches, “S-Sunoo…”

Sunoo pulls away just enough so that their noses can brush, a pretty smile decorating his mouth as his hands find Sunghoon’s abdomen again, “Aren’t you tired of this yet, hyung?”

Sunghoon is at a complete loss for words at the situation he’s in. Sunoo’s clearly flirting with him; there’s no way he’s not, right? Even though he’s got anxiety rushing through his veins, he decides to let everything happening to him fuel his confidence and do something the Sunghoon from yesterday would never:

He picks himself up off the bed, but only to gently push Sunoo onto his back and crawl on top of the blonde, pinning his wrists beside his head on the mattress.

It’s Sunoo’s turn to let his eyes go wide.

Just what the fuck is Sunghoon about to do?

“I want you to start asking a different question,” the drummer requests as he leans down and gets close enough for his breath to fan over Sunoo’s lips. He almost gets lost in the younger’s brown eyes as he says, “I want you to start thinking about if Daejung would actually do any of these things. Try to remember the last time he pinned you to the bed like this and you didn’t have someone else on your mind. I bet that's difficult; should tell you something, shouldn’t it?”

And Sunoo flushes red—bright red.

Sunghoon looks more attractive than the blonde thinks he ever has, loving the way he literally cages him to the mattress. He wants to stay like that, with the older that close and the tension between them so thick that only a fucking katana could cut it. He almost tries to reach out and cup Sunghoon’s jawline to bring their lips together, but before he can even fully complete the thought in his head, the older is standing up from the bed and walking out of the room to leave the house.

He grabs his shirt, phone, car keys, and cigarette carton on the way out, but spares not another glance at his crush, too overwhelmed with how hot his blood is boiling and how tight his chest is. Once he gets his shirt and shoes on, he makes his way to his car and gets in as fast as he can. After turning the vehicle on, he drives a little farther up the road just to be away from Sunoo’s home before parking somewhere else and removing the keys from the ignition.

He rubs his eyes and cusses under his breath before lighting himself a cigarette. As he smokes it, he glances down at his phone to check the date.

He sighs, October is coming to an end, dumbass.

An idea pops into his head, and it makes his eyes go wide. He turns his car back and makes his way home as fast as possible, knowing the perfect way of expressing everything he’s feeling.

The good thing for Sunghoon is Sunoo did not move from where he was for a good five minutes after the drummer left the room. In fact, the first movement he makes is only to roll over and smell the area where Sunghoon slept. The smell of his cologne is faint, and it makes Sunoo close his eyes while smiling softly and gripping the bedding. 

After laying in his bed for a while longer, he gets up and picks out an outfit to put on after he showers so that he can pay a visit to one of his good friends.

:---:---:

“Riki-san…”

The Japanese boy squirms at the person brushing through his hair and calling out his name.

“Wake up, Riki,” another voice requests.

The named teenager finally rolls over onto his stomach and lets out a groggy ‘good morning’ as the two people with him laugh. He finally remembers it’s his hyungs that he’d spent the entirety of yesterday with, and that realization makes him smile wide and wrap his arms around Heeseung’s waist as best as he can.

“Did we finish the movies?” Riki asks, snuggling into Heeseung’s stomach as he closes his eyes again.

“Well,” Jake gives the youngest a weak smile, “you sort of fell asleep during number nine, but it was literally almost three in the morning, so I can’t really blame you.”

Riki pouts, “Damn it.”

Heeseung brushes through the blonde’s hair and chuckles, “It’s okay, little man. We can always get back to it another day.”

“Oh!” Riki rolls over so that he’s laying on his back once again, “Can I tell you guys about the photoshoot? I dreamt about it and it gave me some ideas.”

“Please do!” Jake says, a bright smile blossoming on his face.

“Ok, so, I’m thinking super dark and rock n’ roll, we do it at that abandoned motel by the mall, birthday party theme,” Riki sits up before continuing, “we even get a cake and balloons and shit just to go all out. I don’t have any professional lights or anything, but it’s okay because I want the photos to look super raw and rundown; the most we could maybe use is a flashlight.”

“Damn, kid, your brain’s just full of great ideas!” Heeseung laughs and ruffles the Japanese boy’s hair.

“It’s gonna be so fun, I just know it, Riki-san!” Jake hugs his young friend so excitedly that they fall over across Heeseung’s lap, prompting the older brunette to lean over and wrap his arms around the two of them.

:---:---:

“Hey, pretty thing,” Daejung says as he walks into his house and spots his boyfriend in the kitchen a few hours after Sunghoon leaves. The blonde, who’s sitting on the counter and eating a bowl of cereal before he leaves for Jungwon’s dorm, just weakly smiles before quickly looking away again. The tall man slips off his shoes and walks over to Sunoo before pressing a kiss to his cheek, “How was your weekend?”

The blonde just nods, “Was fine. How about yours?”

“Really fucking fun, shit got crazy,” Daejung smirks as he starts to tell Sunoo about everything he did, obviously leaving out the part where he did Byunghoon’s boyfriend, who’s partner did not seem to care that he and his best friend were literally having a fucking threesome. It was a drunk weekend, what can he really say?

And Sunoo waits and waits and waits for Daejung to just shut up about himself for five seconds because he wants to be asked about his weekend and what he did. But instead of getting that, he gets Daejung walking away to their bedroom to go change into something comfier.

And that is when all hell breaks loose. 

“Sunoo.”

Sunoo puts his cereal bowl on the counter before hopping down and scurrying to their room, “What, jagi—”

Sunoo yelps as the door is slammed shut and he’s pressed up against it, “D-Daejung…w-what are you—”

“You wanna tell me what you were fucking doing this weekend?” Daejung smirks, “Better yet, who?”

Sunoo’s breath trembles, “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about how this room reeks of cigarettes and my fucking side of the bed smells like some other dude’s perfume.” Daejung’s eyes darken even more.

Sunoo’s eyes widen, oh shit.

“N-No, jagi, you’ve got the wrong idea!” Sunoo shakes his head and slips away from the older, “My friend came over yesterday! They wanted me to do their hair! I didn’t do anything bad!”

Daejung’s expression finally softens after he processes what he’s told and takes a deep breath, looking over at a Sunoo who’s obviously hurt by the lack of trust put into him. The blonde just shakes his head and grabs his phone and guitar case before storming out of the room and, eventually, the house, “You’re unreal.”

Now, it’s off to the train station and then Jungwon’s dorm room.

:---:---:

Sunghoon takes a long drag of his cigarette before reading over the blurb of words scribbled onto the page of his notebook. He reads over what he has before patting a soft beat on his thighs to see what sounds fun, should it be fast or slow? No, no, it should totally be fast.

Sunghoon groans, falling backwards and lying down on his bed, how the fuck do the other guys do this?

He stares up at his ceiling, contemplating why he thought writing a song about Sunoo was ever a good idea? It just makes him miss the younger more and feel angrier at himself for not growing the balls to ask him out. He’s convinced himself it’s because he just can’t find the right time to do it; call Sunghoon corny, but he likes to wait for the absolute perfect moment to do anything. And so he’s trying to decide just when that moment would be. He’s got this idea in his head of them performing this song Sunghoon’s trying to write, Sunoo realizing the lyrics are about him, and them having a hot and heavy make out session after the gig, but a part of him still finds the scenes in his imagination so utterly stupid. 

He turns over and grabs his phone from his nightstand, quickly dialing Jay’s phone number while bringing the cigarette to his lips.

Jay picks up just before the drummer is sent to voicemail, “What do you need?”

“You at work?” Sunghoon asks, realizing that’s why it took the older so long to pick up.

“Yeah, been here since ten. Sooo what do you need?”

Sunghoon looks over at his alarm clock, “How much longer you got on your shift?”

“Well I leave at six, so…” Jay takes a moment before responding, and Sunghoon figures it’s because he’s looking down at his watch, “like four more hours?”

“Can you come over after?” Sunghoon asks. “I just…I need some help with something.”

“That was awfully vague and mysterious,” Jay comments, “but yeah, I’ll be there. Can’t stay for too long, though, I really need to finish the mastering for this EP.”

“Yeah, I won’t be long, just need you to look over something,” Sunghoon says before the ravenette on the other side of the line says goodbye and hangs up.

:---:---:

Jungwon opens the door to his dorm room.

Then, he frowns.

“Hyung…”

The blonde just shakes his head and walks through the doorway, “Don’t even.”

“You told me you were coming over to vent,” Jungwon states, “but I just…you look so upset.”

“Because I am!” Sunoo exclaims. “I’m stuck in literally the worst dilemma ever!”

“Hyung, this isn’t a dilemma anymore,” Jungwon counters as he shuts the door, “you know you don’t like Daejung, and you know he’s an asshole that needs to be left on the fucking street!”

Sunoo plops down on his friend’s bed and pouts, “I get it, I really do, I just…”

Silence fills the room, and it makes Jungwon tilt his head in confusion at the older. He shrugs, “You just what?”

“Is it…Is it bad that I’m… you know I think I have feelings for Sunghoon hyung, isn’t that horrible of me?” Sunoo plays with the hem of his skirt in an attempt to ground himself, but he can’t stop his mind from feeling like it’s working at a hundred miles per hour. 

Jungwon shakes his head, “Hyung, it’s not. You know why it’s not horrible, I don’t understand why you won’t let yourself accept it.”

“Because, Jungwon!” Sunoo’s voice is cracking and trembling due to the fact that he’s on the verge of tears. He gasps after realizing he’s raised his voice, “I-I’m so sorry, I-I didn’t mean to yell at you.”

“Hyung, it’s completely fine,” Jungwon gives the blonde a weak smile, “take this as an opportunity to voice all of your thoughts.”

“I just…” Sunoo wipes the tear that swims its way out of his eye and down his cheek, “Sunghoon hyung and I have…there’s more to it than him just having liked me for forever, it goes deeper than that.”

“What do you mean?” Jungwon scoots closer and gives his friend’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

Sunoo sniffles while shrugging, “Sunghoon hyung and I—the whole band really has known each other since we were kids. Even when Jay hyung came from the States or when Jake hyung got back from Australia, we were all each other’s first friends in some way. Sunghoon hyung was…he’s always been the person to check on his circle and take care of us…especially me. When I started high school, I noticed that…well, I noticed everything great about him—how sweet he is and how good he was at basketball and how handsome he was becoming and how tall he was getting—and it…it made me scared.”

“Why would that make you scared?” Jungwon wonders quietly.

“Because…” Sunoo’s shoulders shake as he starts to cry, “no matter how many boyfriends I went through, I fucking fell for my best friend in the whole world.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” Jungwon shakes his head, “especially not if they reciprocate those feelings. You’re a human, and you’re allowed to develop feelings for people that you don’t exactly intend to; it’s a part of being human.”

“I just didn’t know that he reciprocated them at the time,” Sunoo shrugs, “which was fucking stupid because he was my date to my senior prom. I’ve always thought Sunghoon hyung was the dense one, but I can’t believe that I of all people didn’t even realize how obvious it was.”

“He was your date?!” Jungwon shrieks before freezing up. “Wait, but didn’t you get with Daejung during your sophomore year?”

“I did,” Sunoo adds with a sad grin.

“So wait…when did you meet Daejung?” Jungwon’s trying to put Sunoo’s life on a timeline that seems to be all sorts of tangled up in his head right now.

“I met him in my Pre-Calc class during sophomore year; he used to…ask me to tutor him even though I’m not even that great at math myself.” Sunoo scoffs at how silly everything seems now in the present moment. “He would invite me over and flirt with me and act all chivalrous, and it sort of worked on me considering my current circumstances.”

Jungwon frowns, “Then what about your feelings for Sunghoon hyung?”

“They…” Sunoo sighs as he searches for the best way to put his thoughts into words, “They hid themselves away. I won’t sit here and say they went away because…because they didn’t. I’ll admit it: there were still times, even while I was head over heels for Daejung, that I would look at Sunghoon hyung and think things that no taken person should be thinking.”

“And so why did Sunghoon hyung end up being your date to senior prom?”

Sunoo smiles at the nice memories, “Because after the boys graduated, I had no one to go with, really. Riki was still a sophomore, so I couldn’t even take him if I wanted to, and even though Daejung could still come since he was an alumni, he just…didn’t wanna; dances aren’t really his thing.”

“But dances don’t really seem like Sunghoon hyung’s thing either,” Jungwon snorts. Sunoo rolls his eyes with a giggle, “They’re not, but…he was willing to get over that to let me have a date.”

“Tell me about that night,” Jungwon smiles and leans against his wall, excited to hear about the cute things that probably went down.

“He…” Sunoo catches himself giggling again, “He drove me to and from the hotel where they had the dance—he looked so handsome in his little suit and tie—and when he picked me up he said I looked beautiful. I still remember my outfit: I wore my favorite black dress with my little white tights and my black heels, and I had this black headband and these white gloves and these gorgeous pearl earrings. You know I didn’t last more than, like, forty minutes in those shoes?” Sunoo and Jungwon share a laugh before the older continues, “Sunghoon hyung’s probably the most extroverted introvert I know because he was not even a little embarrassed to be on that dance floor with me. I mean, a big part of that was probably because we took, like, four shots back to back and a hit off his cart in his car before walking in. But still! And we spent the entire night together, we didn’t talk to anybody else. Can you believe he even slow danced with me? We left before they announced prom king and prom queen and went to the dock in the forest behind here where we’ve always hung out and…”

Jungwon’s expression softens, “And…what?”

Sunoo starts to shake his head and cry harder, “And I just feel horrible because I probably made him feel so bad. He was probably so happy to be my date for even just a night, and I can’t help but think I hurt him by crawling back to Daejung.”

The brunette pulls his friend into a gentle hug and shushes his cries, “Hey, don’t say things like that. You were in a complicated situation and you were doing the best you could to deal with it. You’re only one person who was keeping all of this to yourself and figuring it all out by yourself.” Jungwon decides to keep putting his timeline together, “And you said things started to get bad after the first time he cheated on? After two years or something, right?” 

“That’s what I tell people, yes,” Sunoo nods as he whispers his response.

Jungwon tilts his head, “What you…tell people?”

“I’ve never said this to anybody, so please don’t tell the others, but the first time Daejung cheated on me…it wasn’t after we’d been dating for two years,” Sunoo bites his lip, “it was a few weeks after our first anniversary.”

Jungwon’s eyes widen.

Oh, Daejung is the biggest fucking douchebag on the planet. 

“Hyung…I’m so sorry…w-what the fuck?” Jungwon feels sick to his stomach, appalled that anyone could be so hurtful to someone as amazing as Sunoo. But the blonde just shakes his head and laughs quietly, “Don't be…I should’ve…I should’ve left when I had the chance. I think the commitment scares him, y’know? I don’t think Daejung was ready to settle down like he thought he was, and now he’s stuck in what’s essentially a marriage when he just wants to spend his twenties having fun and sleeping around and going out.”

“Hyung, you can’t keep blaming yourself,” Jungwon’s eyes fill with tears, “you don’t deserve to be treated the way you are. It’s not…” a sniffle escapes the younger, “‘s not fair…”

“Why are you crying?!” Sunoo giggles and pulls his friend into a tight hug.

“Because!” Jungwon sobs. “How the fuck can someone be so awful to a person like you?!”

“Oh, stop it,” Sunoo just laughs harder and slips his hand into the boy’s hair, “you’re too sweet.”

“Let’s stop…t-talking about Daejung. Tell me more about Sunghoon hyung.” Jungwon pulls away from the blonde’s embrace and wipes his tear-stained cheeks. Sunoo giggles before nodding, “Yes, let’s…did I tell you I…wrote a song or two about him recently?”

“Show me! Please!” Almost immediately after the words leave his mouth, Jungwon is blushing and freezing up, “U-Unless you don’t want to, I still don’t really know how musicians feel about sharing what they’re working on.”

Sunoo bursts out laughing, “Jungwonie, I’ll totally show you! I really don’t care who hears what I’m working on—well, unless that somebody's Sunghoon hyung in this specific instance.”

The older grabs his guitar from the case and places it in his lap before clearing his throat, “I think I’m gonna call this one ‘Cloud 9’.”

“That’s really cute,” Jungwon giggles and flops forward onto his stomach, looking up at the blonde with a grin.

Sunoo chuckles before slowly strumming his guitar a little and singing ever so softly, “But when he loves me, I feel like I'm floating. When he calls me pretty, I feel like somebody. Even when we fade eventually to nothing, you will always be my favorite form of loving.”

Jungwon smiles as Sunoo stops playing and singing, sitting back and scooting closer to his friend, “You’re…amazing, hyung, you sound so nice and…oh my God, you really like Sunghoon hyung, don’t you?”

“I do!” Sunoo admits with a giggle, “Oh my God, I…”

Before he finishes his sentence, the blonde puts his guitar down on the floor and then falls back to lie down on the bed with a smile, “Fuck…I’m in love with Park Sunghoon.”

Jungwon laughs and lies down next to his friend, “Can I tell you something?”

Sunoo turns onto his side at the same time Jungwon does so that the two can face each other, “Anything.”

“I…” Jungwon bites his lip while smiling, “I think I really like Jay hyung.”

Sunoo’s eyes widen, “Say sike right now.”

“Don’t you dare tell him!” Jungwon laughs and pokes the blonde’s chest. “I haven’t…figured everything out yet.”

“I won’t! I won’t. I promise. But…” Sunoo snorts, “I’m sorry! But why Jay hyung?!”

“Shut up!” Jungwon laughs. “He’s great!”

“I’m kidding, he’s a really great guy,” Sunoo giggles, “I’m happy someone’s finally noticed.”

“He’s just so fun, and he can be really cute,” Jungwon chuckles, “and he’s really fucking talented, like, oh my God. And God, he’s so hot…”

“Ickyyy! Drooling all over your crush in front of me!” Sunoo playfully whines, earning himself a nudge from the brunette. Jungwon rolls his eyes, “But I have no idea how to tell him, or if he even likes me back! Like…he doesn’t seem like the type to date…does that make sense?”

“That’s the thing: Jay isn’t the type to do the whole dating thing. He’s horrible with commitment and he’s dense as all hell and he does not know the first thing about dates or relationships…” Sunoo bites his lip and takes a pause before breaking out into a smile, “But if there’s one thing he’s good at, it’s making it obvious how much he likes you.”

Jungwon blushes, “W-What?”

“Ok, I didn’t want to spoil it, but I think Jay really likes you!” Sunoo sits up and giggles. “He just…whenever he talks about you—hell, whenever he thinks of you, he gets this smile and this look in his eyes. He’s always found you super cute, ever since the first time he met you. And I know he was the biggest asshole at first, but he’s always sort of wanted to…get closer to you…even when he was being a douche.”

“How do you know all this?” Jungwon tilts his head like a confused kitten.

“He…” Sunoo snorts, “What would you do if I told you that he sort of told me and Riki about all of this?”

Jungwon’s eyes go wide.

Then, he starts to smile.

The brunette stands up and jumps around his room while yelling in excitement, “He likes me! He likes me! He fucking likes me! Hyung, he…he…”

Sunoo stands up and grabs Jungwon’s hands, “He likes you!”

“Oh my God…” Jungwon freezes. “What am I supposed to do now? I’ve never…been in a situation like this before.”

“Well, you could just confess to him and take the super easy way out,” Sunoo starts to smirk, “or…we can have a little fun.”

“You’re coming up with one of your crazy ideas again, aren’t you?” Jungwon raises an eyebrow at the older. 

“You’ve caught me! I am,” Sunoo sits back down on his friend’s bed, “Jimin and Minjeong throw a crazy halloween party every single year, and my friend finally texted me the invite today! This means we are going to get all dolled up for our boys and make them lose their minds.”

Jungwon blushes, “S-Seriously?”

“Of course! And we’ll have so much fun! Jimin and Minjeong are some of the coolest people on the planet, so it won’t be like any lame old college party.” The younger can’t help but feel a little nervous for some reason, even after receiving the information regarding Jay liking him back. Maybe it was just the adrenaline from the whole situation making him a nervous wreck. He takes a seat next to Sunoo and nods, “Let’s do it.”

Sunoo squeals, “We’re gonna have so much fun!”

“Crap, this probably means I actually have to look cute for Jay hyung, don’t I?” Jungwon bites his lip nervously.

Sunoo nods with an enormous amount of enthusiasm, “Oh, absolutely. Even though you’re an adorable person as it is, Wonie, we gotta step it up! I told you the plan is to make our boys lose their minds, and nothing is gonna drive Jay hyung crazier than you as a sexy kitten.”

Jungwon squeaks as he flushes red, “H-Hyung! No! I am not gonna dress up as a sexy cat!”

Sunoo can’t help but burst out laughing, “Just trust me! Don’t worryyy, I won’t make you show as much skin as I like to!”

“Please don’t…” Jungwon hides his face in his hands, causing Sunoo to pull him into a hug and squeal.

:---:---:

Jay looks up from the sheet of lyrics with a blank expression.

Then, he starts to laugh.

Sunghoon blushes, “W-What?”

“Can’t believe you’re trying to sit here and act like this song isn’t about Sunoo,” Jay scoffs.

“I’m not trying to act like anything,” Sunghoon shrugs.

The ravenette raises an eyebrow at the younger before averting his eyes back down to the page in his hands, “You don't know what you deserve, that's why you end up hurt. But you never listen, take my advice as criticism, then make the worst decisions. Park Sunghoon, am I that dumb to you?”

“Yes.”

“Fuck you.”

Sunghoon snatches the page from his friend, “Can you just tell me if the lyrics are fine? I need to know if I sound stupid.”

“Sunghoon,” Jay leans back against the sofa, “these lyrics are fucking sick. They’re all edgy and make you sound heartbroken; it’s an interesting concept. Can’t believe your dense ass was able to write something like it.”

“If you’re just going to sit there and be an asshole then get the fuck out of my apartment.” The taller man rolls his eyes before grabbing a cigarette from the carton on the coffee table to light. Jay delivers a soft punch to his friend’s arm as he sits down next to the guitarist, “All jokes aside, this is going to be fucking sick if we do something with it. I mean, I’m already thinking of a kickass melody for this shit.”

“Tell Heeseung or something, then,” Sunghoon takes a drag of his cigarette, “the two of you can come up with something in no time.”

“Sounds good to me,” Jay stands up and begins walking to the front door, “I gotta go.”

“Hey,” Sunghoon calls out just before Jay opens the door, “can I just ask one thing?”

Jay shrugs, “Shoot it.”

Sunghoon bites the inside of his cheek, knowing damn well he’s about to get himself in some deep shit.

“I want Sunoo to sing this song.”