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2020-03-16
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Much Ado About Guard Dogs

Summary:

Pro hero Ground Zero's apartment has just been crushed flat by Mt. Lady, but his boss, Fat Gum, sets him up with a sweet body guard gig that comes with free housing, food, and 24/7 access to the world's foremost genius of support gear. The only problem? Said scientist is being targeted by the League of Villains. Oh, and it's Midoriya Izuku--the kid he hasn't seen since telling the boy to take a swan dive off the roof of their middle school.

 

(I'm terrible at titles. Also summaries. Bodyguard trope goodness. Please read.)

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: Prologue

Notes:

Hey all!

I've been working on this for a while. I haven't finished writing it, but I feel like I'm far enough ahead that I can start posting chapters. (Also, it's spring break and there's a pretty good chance my campus is about to go online because of COVID19... so, symptoms of quarantine and social distancing include fanfiction??

Chapter Text

Katsuki watched the live footage of Mt. Lady’s battle rampaging in the southern part of the town. It wasn’t that the fight was anything all that spectacular or that the villain was really all that special, but he was big. Really big. And the two giants were grappling in a park, squashing playground equipment, uprooting trees, and…

Katsuki felt his eye twitch, his shoulders tensed up, a series of loud pops emitted from his palms, “What the fucking shit!?”

“Hey Bakugou,” Kirishima commented lazily from his desk, “wasn’t that your apartment building?”

“FUCK!” Bakugou yelled, an explosion tearing into his desk.

“Aww, come on now, don’t throw a tantrum,” Kirishima said with a tense smile, “That’s not manly at all.”

“They just fucking rolled through my fucking apartment building!” Bakugou responded, kicking his chair, desk, and the wall indiscriminately.

A heavy sigh drew his attention, Fat Gum watched the continued live footage streaming on the television. Kirishima and Bakugou had joined him second year for work studies and then the hero had taken them on as sidekicks shortly after their graduation from UA. Over the course of eight years, a strong sense of trust and respect had formed, but the pro had little patience for Bakugou’s temper—granted, it was considerably calmer now than it had been.

“Destroying the office furniture isn’t going to improve the situation, Bakugou,” Fat Gum said sternly.

Katsuki took a deep breath, counted to ten, repeated the process a few times, and nodded firmly, “Right.”

“You’ll need to go pick up a property claim form, get some information from the agencies that’ll run clean up. Looks like the fight is over now anyway, by the time you get there, information will be available,” the pro advised calmly.

Bakugou gave another sharp nod, then grit his teeth, clenching and unclenching his fists, “The claims people take forever…I don’t,” he released a low, frustrated growl, “where am I—“

“Just focus on collecting the appropriate paperwork for now,” the elder instructed, “I’ll see what I can sort out in terms of housing for you.”

“You can always crash on my sofa!” Kirishima added with a broad smile.

“You sleep on a pull-out couch in that crappy efficiency of yours!” Bakugou shot back, “I’m not sharing a bed with you for however many months this shit will take to fix!”

“I mean, we’re both broke dude,” Kirishima laughed, “how are you going to pay for another apartment right now?”

Before Bakugou could get a response out, Fat Gum landed a fist on top of Kirishima’s head, “Quit freaking him out more!”

“My bad! Sorry, sir!” Kirishima replied, unhardening his quirk.

With a growl, Bakugou slipped out of the room. He went down to the locker room first to change into civilian clothes and then began the journey to the claims office.

~~~~

Four and half extremely frustrating hours later, Bakugou flopped back down into his now slightly crooked office chair. The space was blessedly silent as Kirishima and most of the others were out patrolling.

He was tired, tense, hungry, and anxious. Maybe Fat Gum would let him sleep at the office, he could get a sleeping bag like Aizawa-sensei used to roll around in. He groaned at the mental image of himself zipped up like a caterpillar under his desk and ran a hand down his face.

“I hear you’re homeless!” sounded a familiar, overly-excited voice.

Bakugou looked up in surprise, he hadn’t even heard her come into the room, “What the hell are you doing here, Mei!?”

“I came by to drop off some of my new babies!” she responded with a gleam in her eye, “and with a job!”

“A job that could be a promising solution to your housing problem,” Fat Gum added from the doorway.

Bakugou quirked an eyebrow at him and then glanced back at the overenthusiastic, pink-haired inventor.

“A friend of mine needs a roommate,” Mei started to explain, “er, well, not a roommate exactly.”

Fat Gum released a noise that could be a grunt or a laugh, Bakugou wasn’t sure, “He’s a freelance support technician. Invented an item while he was in high school that earned him a great deal of praise—and cash.”

“That’s right!” Mei chimed in, “He’s super smart and makes the best gadgets!”

“What did he make that’s so damn special?”

“The Quirk Suppression Implant,” answered Fat Gum, “for a start. And he’s done a great number of projects for heroes the world over.”

“Wait? For real?” Bakugou asked, wide eyed, “That’s what they used to contain that Chisaki creep, right?”

“Yup!” Mei answered, “Buuuuut—“

“But what?” Bakugou asked with a glare.

“He’s not very good at taking care of himself,” answered Fat Gum. “He’s something of an eccentric, often focusing in on a project so intensely that he forgets to eat or sleep.”

“Aaaand he may have recently been attacked,” Mei added. “He’s been receiving a number of threats recently, serious ones, but he won’t go into protective custody because he’d have to leave his workspace.”

“And how does any of this result in my having a place to crash?”

Fat Gum handed him a manila envelope, “Congratulations, Ground Zero. You’re officially on guard duty.”

“Guard duty!?”

Mei laughed with a wide smile, “You’ll be moving in with him until the threat is apprehended!”

“We’ve been assured you’ll have a room to yourself. Your job will include physical protection, of course, but also ensuring he doesn’t work himself to death.”

“I didn’t go through hero training to be a fucking guard dog!” Bakugou barked.

“Free housing, extra pay, groceries paid for,” Fat Gum responded blankly, “in exchange for hanging around a genius support technician and making sure he eats, bathes, and sleeps on occasion. Take it or leave it, but don’t complain to me if you end up sharing a pull-out sofa bed with Red Riot.”

Katsuki had to admit, he’d be an idiot to pass it up. “Fine,” he huffed, “what’s this loser’s name anyway?”

“Oh,” Mei said, “didn’t I say before? It’s Midoriya Izuku.”