Who knew it was possible to make a young woman's attempted suicide worse? Chris Brown has managed it, though:

Since Kehlani made the post, Chris Brown had his say on the matter after after saying that Kyrie Irving of the Cleveland Cavaliers basketball team was one of the ‘few good guys left’. He went on to condemn Kehlani in an extremely strong tweet which claimed that she was ‘doing shit for sympathy’.

Coming from a man literally as he was doing shit for attention, that's quite a claim.

I think we all decided long ago that Brown was the human embodiment of the noise made by a spoon caught in a waste disposal unit; his latest low need detain us no further than to ensure that anyone who continues to support him is also avoided.

Australia's Immigration Minister is being encouraged to refuse an entry visa to Chris Brown, on account of his domestic violence:

Australian Minister for Women Michaelia Cash, speaking alongside Turnbull at an event in Canberra highlighting new government efforts to fight domestic violence, urged Immigration Minister Peter Dutton to bar the performer.

"People need to understand that if you are going to commit domestic violence and then you want to travel around the world there are going to be countries that say to you, 'You cannot come in because you are not of the character we expect in Australia'," Cash told reporters.

It would be an important signal to the wider world, although recently Australia has had something of a reputation for not allowing anyone in at all.

It turns out that it's not just any old fight that Chris Brown has picked in The Philippines - oh, no, he's taking on Jesus himself:

Brown has become embroiled in a disagreement with Church of Christ following a gig which was meant to take place on New Year's Eve 2014. Brown pulled out of the gig but, according to the church who helped fund the gig, he was paid $1m (£645,000) for his time.

I know what you're thinking: what the hell is a church doing paying Chris Brown anything at all for a gig, never mind a million dollars. Perhaps Brown kept the money to teach the church not to get involved in this sort of the deal. They do say the Lord moves in mysterious ways...

Disappointing news for schadenfreude fans: Chris Brown is out of the Philippines:

Journalists saw Brown and around 10 others boarding his private plane parked at an airport hangar, with one taking a selfie before going into the plane.

Tan said Brown obtained the departure clearance at the bureau's extension office and not at the main office in downtown Manila where dozens of journalists were staking out.

She said the clearance was given after "verifying that Chris Brown has no other derogatory record apart from the (immigration lookout bulletin)" that was issued Wednesday.

No other derogatory records? Has she not heard Fortune?

It sounds like he's not doing well, being held in the country over a contract dispute:

in his third video the 26-year-old was filmed on his knees and saying, "Please, please, let us leave, please,” suggesting Brown was becoming increasingly concerned about his situation. The video was captioned, "OBAMA!!!!!!!!!!" but has since been removed from his page.

Brown also published a series a panicked tweets denying any wrong-doing and claiming he was trapped in a “serious situation” that someone needed to be held accounted for.

I have nothing to do with anything going on right now. I came back to Manila to do a make up show for New Years. I did the show 3 days ago

This is a very serious situation and someone needs to be held accountable for mixing my name up in all this. I've done nothing wrong!!!

If only Chris Brown wasn't such a reprehensible person, it might be possible to feel sorry for him. Instead, it's just amusing. I'm guessing the plan is for him to be held in the country until he's given the nation entertainment to the value of the million dollars they say they paid him for the gig he never played.

This must be a strange feeling for Chris Brown - normally, whenever he turns up people can't wait for him to bugger off again. In the same way the Queen believes all public buildings smell of paint, Brown must assume that everyone in the world is just about to go to bed at every point in time.

But at last, someone is saying 'don't go, Chris Brown. Don't go."

Unfortunately for Brown, it's the Philippines authorities and they're pretty much holding him because of a legal dispute.

Ironically, the dispute that's keeping him in the country is as a result of a time when he didn't turn up before:

Brown’s visit to the Philippines had appeared to be going smoothly after he performed a concert Tuesday evening in front of a crowd in Manila, the capital.

But that same night, authorities issued an order to stop any attempts by him to leave. It was put in place to compel him to pay money that promoters said was owed to them after he failed to appear for a previous appearance scheduled for last New Year’s Eve.

Brown is apparently confused by it all. That's not entirely surprising, though.

Chris Brown has taken some time out of his busy schedule to share his thoughts on ebola:

The Kiss Kiss hitmaker posted the controversial comment to Twitter on Monday, writing, "I don't know... But I think this Ebola epidemic is a form of population control. S*** is getting crazy bruh (sic)" before adding, "Let me shut my black a** up!"

To be fair - to Thomas Malthus rather than to Brown - it's not clear if Brown really was suggesting that ebola was somehow balancing out population growth as a natural corrective, or if he was instead floating some sort of conspiracy theory that an unidentified shady force was using ebola to get numbers down.

And to be fair to the sort of people who believe in the 'lizards faking moon landings to cover up 9/11' school of thought, Chris Brown hasn't probably thought anything through at all.

To be fair, the full story from the Chris Brown/Billboard interview isn't released until later today, so perhaps it will be less painful than the cover makes it look:

But the 'maybe I was out of control' strapline doesn't give one hope.

Maybe you were out of control, Chris Brown.

Or maybe you're a violent, beat-first asshat who is now trying to salvage some sort of career with a minor concession that perhaps - just maybe you were out of control.

Or maybe you knew exactly what you were doing when you pulped Rihanna's face that time.

Maybe that.

Let's take a moment to look beyond the fact that Chris Brown is a thuggish perpetrator of domestic violence who a lot of people seem keen to give a free pass to, and spend some time examining another way he sucks, shall we?

He's got his own vanity label, you know. It's called CBE, which means Chris Brown Entertainment.

But, hey, don't focus on Chris Brown here. That would be wrong:

"I don't even like to say, 'Yo, they're my artists,' " Brown told [MTV] of Sevyn Streeter, pop singer Sabrina Antoinette and rock band U.G.L.Y. "Most of the time you get stuck in a box where people don't give them a shot because they're getting co-signed by another artist. For me all the artists that are signed under me — or that are working with me — are phenomenal."

These are just acts that he says he loves - which is bad news for them, as Brown has a track record of beating to a bloody pulp people he claims to love.

It's curious, isn't it, being worried about the artists on your label being pegged as pets of that artist, and yet naming the label they've been signed to with your own name.

It might be a mixed message.

Ah, but Chris Brown has thought about that. He suggests CBE could mean other things as well:

The label's acronym breaks down to Chris Brown Entertainment, but the multiplatinum singer doesn't want to make it all about him so he has come up with two other meanings behind his imprint: Culture Beyond Your Evolution and/or Culture Beyond Your Experience.

Hang on a moment, though. Unless I'm mistaken, don't both those come out as CBYE?

Brown seems to think his illiterate wordplay is part of a continuum related to his genius:

"I always use the metaphors and the different meanings. I like to be weird like that," he said.

There's nothing weird about using metaphors.

There might be something weird about not knowing the difference between reversing out a new meaning for an abbreviation and a metaphor, though.

This has been pretty well reported elsewhere, but let's just read into the record Chris Brown's thoughts on how to talk to women:

“Every guy in this building has said one thing to their female … If you’re not an insecure nigga, and you let her have fun with her friends, I applaud you. But you gotta say that one thing to her, and I made this shitt up. [sings] Don’t make me have to tell you again, that that’s my pussy baby! It is mine, baby, babe, mine. So you better not give it away!”

”So every person in this motherfucking building, if you got a bad bitch you better say that to her. Cause she might fuck another nigga.”

I don't think this really needs any further comment, does it?

I think we've all been waiting for someone to stand up to Chris Brown for a while now.

Adele has done it. At Grammys.

Gordon explains what happened:

When [Frank] Ocean pipped him to the Best Urban Contempary Album award, the whole audience rose to their feet to applaud him - except bad loser Brown, who stayed planted to his seat in a sulk.

As TV cameras focused in on his protest, Adele could be seen across the aisle, glaring in his direction.

And when the applause died down, the 24-year-old cornered him for a tense one-on-one.
Cameras didn't pick up Adele's choice of words - but judging by Brown's body language, it wasn't pretty.

Interesting that Gordon thinks Ocean "pipped" Brown to the award - obviously nobody knows what the judges came up with, but on every other measure, Ocean surely trounced Brown by a country mile.

Still: Go Adele. I think we should find the money to send Adele following Brown everywhere for a year, letting him know what we think.

Sidenote:

She might have been suggesting he keep a lower-profile at the event - which marks the fourth anniversary of his arrest for assaulting Rihanna after a pre-Grammys party in 2009.

It's a small thing, but the anniversary of Brown being charged was Friday. The Grammys don't take place on the same date every year.

So, the defining battle of our time has been fought, and won, and now it's official:



is better than



Or, at least, Somebody That I Used To Know has bested We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together for Record Of The Year at the Grammys.

For reasons that have never been convincingly explained, of course, the 'record of the year' isn't the same thing as 'song of the year' - and here, We Are Young (or 'We Are Writing The Song So We Can Live Off The Royalties For The Next Ten Years Whenever A Lazy Montage Sequence On The TV Features People Who Are Young', to give it its full name) bested Call Me Maybe.

Yes, you read that right. The Grammys jury went with the wispy beard over the obviously great song.

The best album went to Mumford And Sons for Babel. With every high-profile award, the whole point of the band seems harder and harder to discern. They're a bit like Ben And Jerrys now - you might like to read the homespun, earth-friendly packaging, but you can't ignore that it's being dumped into cartons by Unilever.

Adele managed to get an award in a quiet year - not for Skyfall, even the Grammys wouldn't push it that far - but for a live track from Live At The Albert Hall. That sounds a bit like chearing.

Forbs tracked the people who needed a box of some sort to carry their multiple prizes:

In 2013, Dan Auerbach and the Black Keys were the biggest winners, taking home four trophies. Skrillex claimed three, as did Gotye, Jay-Z and Kayne West.

Black Keys did at least bring Dr John on for their 'surprise! we're doing a collaboration' bit, which was a way of sneaking a true legend onto prime time CBS.

At the more hackneyed end of s!wdac was Ed Sheeran coming on with Elton John, which I think makes Sheeran the new Pete Doherty.

The Wall Street Journal's description of the closing number sounds like the sort of thing that would have been tolerable if you were a bit drunk:

The show closed with another performance that brought together unlikely, if aging, pioneers of different genres. A pair of rap icons who rose to prominence in the 1980s—Chuck D, of the group Public Enemy, and LL Cool J, also the show's host—was backed by a band that included hard rock musicians from the 1990s: Guitarist Tom Morello, of Rage Against the Machine, and drummer Travis Barker of Blink-182.

As is now traditional, Chris Brown marked the event by being an enormous asshole. Dawn reports:

R&B singer Chris Brown showed up smiling at the Grammy Awards show on Sunday, saying he was just a little banged up after crashing his car into a wall on the eve of the annual music industry awards.

“Little bit of bumps, I’m good though,” Brown, 23, dressed in a white Lanvin suit, told E! News on the red carpet.

Brown crashed his Porsche into a wall in Beverly Hills on Saturday and told police he was trying to elude aggressive paparazzi.

“I’ll get another one,” Brown, laughing, told E! News on Sunday. “Insurance is good.”

Of course he's not worried about smashing his car to pieces on the way to the awards. He did the same thing to Rihanna en route a couple of years back, and that didn't cause him any problems.

Best line in all the coverage goes to the New York Times, and Ben Ratliff:

Taylor Swift opened the CBS telecast performing “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” — with freaky clowns, stilt-walking experts, parasols, a large white rabbit, like a well-coordinated Burning Man happening or a late-period White Stripes photo shoot.

Without any further ado, here's the names and details of the winners:

1. RECORD OF THE YEAR
Somebody That I Used To Know
Gotye Featuring Kimbra
Wally De Backer, producer; Wally De Backer & Francois Tetaz, engineers/mixers; William Bowden, mastering engineer
Track from: Making Mirrors
Label: Universal Republic

2. ALBUM OF THE YEAR
Babel
Mumford & Sons
Markus Dravs, producer; Robin Baynton & Ruadhri Cushnan, engineers/mixers; Bob Ludwig, mastering engineer
Label: Glassnote

3. SONG OF THE YEAR
We Are Young
Jack Antonoff, Jeff Bhasker, Andrew Dost & Nate Ruess, songwriters (Fun.Featuring Janelle Monáe)
Track from: Some Nights
Label: Fueled By Ramen; Publishers: WB Music, FBR Music, Bearvon Music/Rough Art/Shira Lee Lawrence Rick Music/Way Above Music/Sony ATV Songs

4. BEST NEW ARTIST
Fun.

5. BEST POP SOLO PERFORMANCE
Set Fire To The Rain [Live]
Adele
Track from: Live At The Royal Albert Hall
Label: XL/Columbia
6. BEST POP DUO/GROUP PERFORMANCE
Somebody That I Used To Know
Gotye Featuring Kimbra
Track from: Making Mirrors
Label: Universal Republic

7. BEST POP INSTRUMENTAL ALBUM
Impressions
Chris Botti
Label: Columbia

8. BEST POP VOCAL ALBUM
Stronger
Kelly Clarkson
Label: RCA Records/19 Recordings LLC

9. BEST DANCE RECORDING
Bangarang
Skrillex Featuring Sirah
Skrillex, producer; Skrillex, mixer
Track from: Bangarang
Label: OWSLA/Big Beat/Atlantic

10. BEST DANCE/ELECTRONICA ALBUM
Bangarang
Skrillex
Label: OWSLA/Big Beat/Atlantic

11. BEST TRADITIONAL POP VOCAL ALBUM
Kisses On The Bottom
Paul McCartney
Label: Hear Music

12. BEST ROCK PERFORMANCE
Lonely Boy
The Black Keys
Track from: El Camino
Label: Nonesuch

13. BEST HARD ROCK/METAL PERFORMANCE
Love Bites (So Do I)
Halestorm
Track from: The Strange Case Of…
Label: Atlantic

14. BEST ROCK SONG
Lonely Boy
Dan Auerbach, Brian Burton & Patrick Carney, songwriters (The Black Keys)
Track from: El Camino
Label: Nonesuch; Publisher: McMoore McLesst Publishing

15. BEST ROCK ALBUM
El Camino
The Black Keys
Label: Nonesuch

16. BEST ALTERNATIVE MUSIC ALBUM
Making Mirrors
Gotye
Label: Universal Republic

17. BEST R&B PERFORMANCE
Climax
Usher
Track from: Looking 4 Myself
Label: RCA Records

18. BEST TRADITIONAL R&B PERFORMANCE
Love On Top
Beyoncé
Track from: 4
Label: Columbia Records

19. BEST R&B SONG
Adorn
Miguel Pimentel, songwriter (Miguel)
Label: RCA/Bystorm Entertainment; Publisher: Art Dealer Chic

20. BEST URBAN CONTEMPORARY ALBUM
Channel Orange
Frank Ocean
Label: Def Jam

21. BEST R&B ALBUM
Black Radio
Robert Glasper Experiment
Label: Blue Note

22. BEST RAP PERFORMANCE
N****s In Paris
Jay-Z & Kanye West
Track from: Watch The Throne
Label: Roc-A-Fella Records, LLC

23. BEST RAP/SUNG COLLABORATION
No Church In The Wild
Jay-Z & Kanye West Featuring Frank Ocean & The-Dream
Track from: Watch The Throne
Label: Roc-A-Fella Records, LLC

24. BEST RAP SONG
N****s In Paris
Shawn Carter, Mike Dean, Chauncey Hollis & Kanye West, songwriters (W.A. Donaldson, songwriter) (Jay-Z & Kanye West)
Track from: Watch The Throne
Label: Roc-A-Fella Records; Publishers: Hit-Boy Music/Very Good Beats, Hip Hop Since 1978, Dean’s List Productions, Unichappell Music

25. BEST RAP ALBUM
Take Care
Drake
Label: Cash Money Records

26. BEST COUNTRY SOLO PERFORMANCE
Blown Away
Carrie Underwood
Track from: Blown Away
Label: 19 Recordings Limited/Arista Nashville

27. BEST COUNTRY DUO/GROUP PERFORMANCE
Pontoon
Little Big Town
Label: Capitol Records Nashville

28. BEST COUNTRY SONG
Blown Away
Josh Kear & Chris Tompkins, songwriters (Carrie Underwood)
Track from: Blown Away
Label: 19 Recordings Limited/Arista Nashville; Publishers: Global Dog Music/Lunalight Music, Big Loud Songs/Angel River Songs

29. BEST COUNTRY ALBUM
Uncaged
Zac Brown Band
Label: Southern Ground/Atlantic

30. BEST NEW AGE ALBUM
Echoes Of Love
Omar Akram
Label: Real Music

31. BEST IMPROVISED JAZZ SOLO
Hot House
Gary Burton & Chick Corea, soloists
Track from: Hot House
Label: Concord Jazz

32. BEST JAZZ VOCAL ALBUM
Radio Music Society
Esperanza Spalding
Label: Heads Up International
33. BEST JAZZ INSTRUMENTAL ALBUM
Unity Band
Pat Metheny Unity Band
Label: Nonesuch

34. BEST LARGE JAZZ ENSEMBLE ALBUM
Dear Diz (Every Day I Think Of You)
Arturo Sandoval
Label: Concord Jazz

35. BEST LATIN JAZZ ALBUM
¡Ritmo!
The Clare Fischer Latin Jazz Big Band
Label: Clare Fischer Productions/Clavo Records

36. BEST GOSPEL/CONTEMPORARY CHRISTIAN MUSIC PERFORMANCE
10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord)
Matt Redman
Track from: 10,000 Reasons
Label: sixstepsrecords/Sparrow Records

37. BEST GOSPEL SONG
Go Get It
Erica Campbell, Tina Campbell & Warryn Campbell, songwriters (Mary Mary)
Label: Columbia; Publishers: EMI April Music, It’s Tea Tyme, That’s Plum Song, Wet Ink Red Music

38. BEST CONTEMPORARY CHRISTIAN MUSIC SONG (TIE)
10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord)
Jonas Myrin & Matt Redman, songwriters (Matt Redman)
Track from: 10,000 Reasons
Label: sixstepsrecords/Sparrow Records; Publishers: Thankyou Music/sixsteps Music/worshiptogether.com Songs/Said And Done Music/Shout! Publishing

Your Presence Is Heaven
Israel Houghton & Micah Massey, songwriters (Israel & New Breed)
Track from: Jesus At The Center Live
Label: Integrity Music; Publishers: Integrity’s Praise! Music/Sound of the New Breed, Regenerate Music

39. BEST GOSPEL ALBUM
Gravity
Lecrae
Label: Reach Records

40. BEST CONTEMPORARY CHRISTIAN MUSIC ALBUM
Eye On It
TobyMac
Label: ForeFront Records
Come To The Well
Casting Crowns
Label: Beach Street/Reunion Records

41. BEST LATIN POP ALBUM
MTV Unplugged Deluxe Edition
Juanes
Label: Universal Music Latino

42. BEST LATIN ROCK, URBAN OR ALTERNATIVE ALBUM
Imaginaries
Quetzal
Label: Smithsonian Folkways Recordings

43. BEST REGIONAL MEXICAN MUSIC ALBUM (INCLUDING TEJANO)
Pecados Y Milagros
Lila Downs
Label: Sony Music

44. BEST TROPICAL LATIN ALBUM
Retro
Marlow Rosado Y La Riqueña
Label: Pink Chaos Productions

45. BEST AMERICANA ALBUM
Slipstream
Bonnie Raitt
Label: Redwing Records

46. BEST BLUEGRASS ALBUM
Nobody Knows You
Steep Canyon Rangers

47. BEST BLUES ALBUM
Locked Down
Dr. John
Label: Nonesuch

48. BEST FOLK ALBUM
The Goat Rodeo Sessions
Yo-Yo Ma, Stuart Duncan, Edgar Meyer & Chris Thile
Label: Sony Classical

49. BEST REGIONAL ROOTS MUSIC ALBUM
The Band Courtbouillon
Wayne Toups, Steve Riley & Wilson Savoy
Label: Valcour Records

50. BEST REGGAE ALBUM
Rebirth
Jimmy Cliff
Label: UMe/Sunpower

51. BEST WORLD MUSIC ALBUM
The Living Room Sessions Part 1
Ravi Shankar
Label: East Meets West Music

52. BEST CHILDREN’S ALBUM
Can You Canoe?
The Okee Dokee Brothers
Label: Okee Dokee Music LLC

53. BEST SPOKEN WORD ALBUM
Society’s Child: My Autobiography
Janis Ian
Label: Audible, Inc.

54. BEST COMEDY ALBUM
Blow Your Pants Off
Jimmy Fallon
Label: Warner Bros. Records/LoudMouth Entertainment

55. BEST MUSICAL THEATER ALBUM
Once: A New Musical
Steve Kazee & Cristin Milioti, principal soloists; Steven Epstein & Martin Lowe, producers (Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova, composers/lyricists) (Original Broadway Cast With Steve Kazee, Cristin Milioti & Others)
Label: Masterworks

56. BEST COMPILATION SOUNDTRACK FOR VISUAL MEDIA
Midnight In Paris
(Various Artists)
Label: Madison Gate Records, Inc.

57. BEST SCORE SOUNDTRACK FOR VISUAL MEDIA
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross, composers
Label: Null/Madison Gate

58. BEST SONG WRITTEN FOR VISUAL MEDIA
Safe & Sound (From The Hunger Games)
T Bone Burnett, Taylor Swift, John Paul White & Joy Williams, songwriters
(Taylor Swift Featuring The Civil Wars)
Label: Big Machine Records/Universal Republic; Publishers: Sony ATV Tree Publishing, Taylor Swift Music, Sensibility Songs, Absurd Music, Shiny Happy Music, Baffle Music, Henry Burnett Music

59. BEST INSTRUMENTAL COMPOSITION
Mozart Goes Dancing
Chick Corea, composer (Chick Corea & Gary Burton)
Track from: Hot House
Label: Concord Jazz

60. BEST INSTRUMENTAL ARRANGEMENT
How About You
Gil Evans, arranger (Gil Evans Project)
Track from: Centennial – Newly Discovered Works Of Gil Evans
Label: ArtistShare

61. BEST INSTRUMENTAL ARRANGEMENT ACCOMPANYING VOCALIST(S)
City Of Roses
Thara Memory & Esperanza Spalding, arrangers (Esperanza Spalding)
Track from: Radio Music Society
Label: Heads Up International

62. BEST RECORDING PACKAGE
Biophilia
Michael Amzalag & Mathias Augustyniak, art directors (Björk)
Label: One Little Indian / Nonesuch

63. BEST BOXED OR SPECIAL LIMITED EDITION PACKAGE
Woody At 100: The Woody Guthrie Centennial Collection
Fritz Klaetke, art director (Woody Guthrie)
Label: Smithsonian Folkways Recordings

64. BEST ALBUM NOTES
Singular Genius: The Complete ABC Singles
Billy Vera, album notes writer (Ray Charles)
Label: Concord

65. BEST HISTORICAL ALBUM
The Smile Sessions (Deluxe Box Set)
Alan Boyd, Mark Linett, Brian Wilson & Dennis Wolfe, compilation producers; Mark Linett, mastering engineer (The Beach Boys)
Label: Capitol Records

66. BEST ENGINEERED ALBUM, NON-CLASSICAL
The Goat Rodeo Sessions
Richard King, engineer; Richard King, mastering engineer (Yo-Yo Ma, Stuart Duncan, Edgar Meyer & Chris Thile)
Label: Sony Classical

67. PRODUCER OF THE YEAR, NON-CLASSICAL
Dan Auerbach

68. BEST REMIXED RECORDING, NON-CLASSICAL
Promises (Skrillex & Nero Remix)
Skrillex, remixer (Nero)
Joseph Ray, Skrillex & Daniel Stephens, remixers
Label: Cherry Tree/Interscope

69. BEST SURROUND SOUND ALBUM
Modern Cool
Jim Anderson, surround mix engineer; Darcy Proper, surround mastering engineer; Michael Friedman, surround producer (Patricia Barber)
Label: Premonition Records

70. BEST ENGINEERED ALBUM, CLASSICAL
Life & Breath – Choral Works By René Clausen
Tom Caulfield & John Newton, engineers; Mark Donahue, mastering engineer (Charles Bruffy & Kansas City Chorale)
Label: Chandos

71. PRODUCER OF THE YEAR, CLASSICAL
Blanton Alspaugh

72. BEST ORCHESTRAL PERFORMANCE
Adams: Harmonielehre & Short Ride In A Fast Machine
Michael Tilson Thomas, conductor (San Francisco Symphony)
Label: SFS Media

73. BEST OPERA RECORDING
Wagner: Der Ring Des Nibelungen
James Levine & Fabio Luisi, conductors; Hans-Peter König, Jay Hunter Morris, Bryn Terfel & Deborah Voigt; Jay David Saks, producer (The Metropolitan Opera Orchestra; The Metropolitan Opera Chorus)
Label: Deutsche Grammophon

74. BEST CHORAL PERFORMANCE
Life & Breath – Choral Works By René Clausen
Charles Bruffy, conductor (Matthew Gladden, Lindsey Lang, Rebecca Lloyd, Sarah Tannehill & Pamela Williamson; Kansas City Chorale)
Label: Chandos

75. BEST CHAMBER MUSIC/SMALL ENSEMBLE PERFORMANCE
Meanwhile
Eighth Blackbird
Label: Cedille Records

76. BEST CLASSICAL INSTRUMENTAL SOLO
Kurtág & Ligeti: Music For Viola
Kim Kashkashian
Label: ECM New Series

77. BEST CLASSICAL VOCAL SOLO
Poèmes
Renée Fleming (Alan Gilbert & Seiji Ozawa; Orchestre National De France & Orchestre Philharmonique De Radio France)
Label: Decca Records

78. BEST CLASSICAL COMPENDIUM
Penderecki: Fonogrammi; Horn Concerto; Partita; The Awakening Of Jacob; Anaklasis
Antoni Wit, conductor; Aleksandra Nagórko & Andrzej Sasin, producers
Label: Naxos

79. BEST CONTEMPORARY CLASSICAL COMPOSITION
Hartke, Stephen: Meanwhile – Incidental Music To Imaginary Puppet Plays
Stephen Hartke, composer (Eighth Blackbird)
Track from: Meanwhile
Label: Cedille Records

80. BEST SHORT FORM MUSIC VIDEO
We Found Love
Rihanna Featuring Calvin Harris
Melina Matsoukas, video director; Juliette Larthe, Ben Sullivan, Candice Ouaknine & Inga Veronique video producers
Label: Def Jam

81. BEST LONG FORM MUSIC VIDEO
Big Easy Express
Mumford & Sons, Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros & Old Crow Medicine Show
Emmett Malloy, video director; Bryan Ling, Mike Luba & Tim Lynch, video producers
Label: S2BN Films

Yes, Chris Brown has left Twitter in order to spend more time with his unfocused rage issues.

Although 'not having Chris Brown on it' has improved Twitter by a massive leap - they're currently using the strapline 'Sign up - it's okay, Chris Brown has gone' on the homepage - Brown did take the approach of a disgruntled student tenant and had a crap in the middle of the carpet before he left.

You'll have read elsewhere about his torrent of tweets aimed at Jenny Johnson, triggered by her refusing to pretend that Brown is some sort of god. But in case you haven't, or are reading this in four year's time, here's a flavour of what America's greatest living poet came up with:

"take them teeth out when u Sucking my dick HOE."
"I should fart while ur giving me top."
"mom says hello... She told me not to shart in ur mouth, wanted me to shit right on the retina."

That last one is especially puzzling - the retina is inside the eye; and even if it wasn't, does Chris Brown poop out tiny little shits that he can control with laser-guided accuracy?

The obsession with crapping in Brown's tweetage is probably appropriate; culturally, he is about as significant as one of those cows who plop in a grid-marked field in games of cowpat bingo.

It looks like a responsible adult chose to intervene, though, as Brown then deleted his account. The kicker, though?

Before shutting down the account, Brown told his fans that the exchange proved "how immature society is."

Quick FYI, Chris: If you've climbed to the top just to shit in a stranger's face, it probably isn't the moral high ground any more.

The continued treating of Chris Brown like he's a person is unpleasant enough, but let's check in with the man as someone asks him to share something nobody knows about him:

"I think, [it's] that I'm 100 percent dedicated in everything that I do," Brown said. "I want to embody everything that's positive."

"I've accomplished all I need to accomplish in my life as far as me being able to say I can successfully sing, I can dance onstage with the greatest," he continued. "At the end of the day, when I need to be great is when people can say I've helped out the world. It first starts here, helping myself, but what I want to do is bring peace to the world.

"Not to sound all Teen USA!" he laughed.

Somewhere there's a recording angel peering at his notes going 'dude, you're not even right about the dancing'.

Oprah has long pushed a "men who hit you can change" line on domestic violence, so it's not surprising that she's thrilled at the news that Rihanna and Chris Brown are reuniting. Still, it leaves a bad taste in the mouth:

"I'm not surprised," Winfrey said of Rihanna's decision to work on her relationship with Brown, who released a personal video yesterday in which he reveals he still loves his ex. "You know what I loved about that interview is that she came with a big, wide open heart. She was in the space of forgiveness. And that she learned a lesson, that she was repeating with Chris Brown exactly what she needed to learn from her father."

Really, Oprah? It was Rihanna who needed to "learn a lesson", was it? Isn't "teaching their partners a lesson" what people say they're doing when they batter them?

Everyone has their own choices to make, but to suggest that it was Rihanna who had the lessons to learn sends a stinking rotten message.

Back in May, Chris Brown turned up at the Billboard Awards and did a performance. Well, he opened and closed his mouth while someone else played a song behind him.

Pink snurkled about it on Twitter:

"One day if I lipsync, I hope I do it as well as him."

End result? The fans of the famously anger-heavy Brown laid in to her:

"It was a joke," Pink said. "It wasn't even meant like 'I hate Chris Brown'. Twitter brings out the best and worst people - myself included. I swear when I'm in my kitchen at 10pm at night I'm f---ing hilarious. When I read it the next day I'm like 'Hmm... maybe that didn't translate'.

With the Chris Brown thing I got death threats for days. My favorite was 'I will snatch you within an inch of your life'. I don't know how that works exactly but whatever you want..."

It's always been a mystery: what sort of person could possibly have any time for Chris Brown. Now we know...

Christina Aguilera is far, far too grand to talk backstage to The Wanted.

This has surprised and upset The Wanted:

Speaking on Now FM, Max George said that she refused to talk to them backstage after the show.
He said: 'She was a bit scary to be honest.'
Bandmate Tom Parker then said: 'She's a total b****!
'She might not be a b**** in real life but to us she was a b****. She just sat there and didn't speak to us. Wouldn't even look at us.'

To be fair to Aguilera, this was backstage at a taping of the American version of The Voice, where the backstage area must be crawling with ordinary-looking singers on the edges of the tolerably good.

It's hugely unlikely she would have recognised them; chances are she just thought they were contestants trying to influence her.

More depressing, though, is the way the band fawned over Chris Brown:

The Wanted also met Chris Brown on the show and said they hoped to go into the studio with him too.
Siva added: 'We've talked to Chris Brown as well, which would be really good. We talked to Chris actually when we were on The Voice and he said he was down as well.'

Perhaps Aguilera saw you getting on so well with a man who beats up women and decided she didn't want to rub shoulders with people whose standards are so low?

So, it would have been Adele's night - and some sort of irony that a singer whose launchpad was funded, in part, from the Brit Award receipts turns up at the bigger award ceremony and carries off the prizes.

It would have been Adele's night, but for the death of Whitney Houston. One room. So many executives who have pushed their talent a little too hard, or turned a blind eye and sent them out working when they weren't fit. So many musicians who know that the difference between "tragic Whitney" and them was luck rather than judgement. Grief, guilt and there-but-for-the-grace-of-god.

It made for an odd night. Whoever might have been able to rise to the occasion, it was unlikely to be the man who played the chef in Deep Blue Sea. Clunking on to stage to host the event, LL Cool J announced that - for him - the only way to start was a prayer. Like it was Bideford Council.

Really, Ladies Love? The only thing you could think of was a prayer? In a gaudy gong-giving backslapfest, you thought the apt thing to do would be to pretend for a moment that you were in a place of worship?

Still, with an ever-present reminder of what happens when music careers go really wrong, there was a chance to correct the idea that the record companies care about nothing but how many units they can shift, right?

Right?

No. Chris Brown came on and was treated like a returning hero. MTV unwittingly captures the reason why this is a problem:

In the end, there were no innuendos or screen cuts to Breezy's ex-flame Rihanna. Brown simply finished his number, stood triumphantly and saluted the crowd before taking a bow.

Yes, MTV wrote up his appearance as if it was some sort of soap plot. "Tee-hee, they didn't do a reaction shot to show the look on the face that Brown had beaten to a pulp, ho-ho." Why should MTV care? After all, if the Grammys think that it's okay to give Brown a "triumphant" platform, who won't see his domestic violence as anything other than some sort of massive jape?

Here's the list of winners on a night when everyone lost a little:

Album of the year: Adele's 21

Record of the year: Adele's Rolling the Deep

Best pop solo performance: Adele's Someone Like You

Song of the year: Adele's Rolling in the Deep

Short-form music video: Adele’s Rolling in the Deep

Best rock performance: Foo Fighters' Walk

Long-form music video: Foo Fighters’ Back and Forth

Hard rock/metal performance: Foo Fighters’ White Limo

Rock song: Foo Fighters’ Walk

Rock Album: Foo Fighters’ Wasting Light

Best rap performance: Otis, by Kanye West and Jay-Z

Rap performance: Jay-Z and Kanye West’s Otis

Best new artist: Bon Iver

Alternative music album: Bon Iver’s Bon Iver

Country duo/group performance: The Civil Wars’ Barton Hollow

Folk album: The Civil Wars’ Barton Hollow

Country solo performance: Taylor Swift’s Mean

Country song: Taylor Swift’s Mean

Dance recording: Skrillex’s Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites

Dance/electronica album: Skrillex’s Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites

R&B album: Chris Brown's F.A.M.E.

Country album: Lady Antebellum's Own the Night

Recording package: Caroline Robert’s Scenes from The Suburbs, for Arcade Fire

Pop duo/group performance: Tony Bennett and Amy Winehouse’s Body and Soul

Pop instrumental album: Booker T. Jones’ The Road from Memphis

Traditional pop vocal album: Tony Bennett and various artists’ Duets II

R&B performance: Corinne Bailey Rae’s Is This Love

Traditional R&B performance: Cee Lo Green and Melanie Fiona’s Fool for You

R&B song: Cee Lo Green and Co.’s Fool for You

Rap/sung collaboration: Kanye West, Rihanna, Kid Cudi and Fergie’s All of the Lights

Rap song: All of the Lights

Rap album: Kanye West’s My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

New age album: Pet Metheny’s What’s It All About

Improvised jazz solo: Chick Corea’s 500 Miles High

Jazz vocal album: Terri Lyne Carrington and various artists’ The Mosaic Project

Jazz instrumental: Corea, Clarke and White’s Forever

Large jazz ensemble: Christian McBride Big Band’s The Good Feeling

Gospel/contemporary Christian music performance: Le’Andria Johnson’s Jesus

Gospel song: Kirk Franklin’s Hello Fear

Contemporary Christian music song: Laura Story’s Blessings

Gospel album: Kirk Franklin’s Hello Fear

Contemporary Christian music album: Chris Tomlin’s And If Our God Is For Us…

Latin pop, rock or urban album: Mana’s Drama Y Luz

Regional Mexican or Tejano album: Pepe Aguilar’s Bicentenario

Bands or Norteno album: Los Tigres Del Norte’s Los Tigres Del Norte and Friends

Tropical Latin album: Cachao’s The Last Mambo

Americana album: Levon Helm’s Ramble at the Ryman

Bluegrass album: Alison Krauss and Union Station’s Paper Airplane

Blues album: Tedeschi Trucks Band’s Revelator

Regional roots music album: Rebirth Brass Band’s Rebirth of New Orleans

Reggae album: Stephen Marley’s Revelatino Pt. 1: The Root of Life

World music album: Tinariwen’s Tassili

Children’s album: All About Bullies… Big & Small

Spoken world album (includes poetry, audio books and story telling): Betty White’s If You Ask Me (And of Course You Won’t)

Comedy album: Louis C.K.’s Hilarious

Musical theatre album: The Book of Mormom

Compilation soundtrack for visual media: Boardwalk Empire: Vol. 1

Score soundtrack for visual media: Alexandre Desplat’s The King’s Speech

Song written for visual media: I See the Light (from Tangled)

Instrumental composition: Bela Fleck and Howard Levy’s Life in Eleven

Instrumental arrangement: Gordon Goodwin’s Rhapsody in Blue for Gordon Goodwin's Big Phat Band

Instrumental arrangement accompanying vocalist: Jorge Calandrelli’s Who Can I Turn To (When Nobody Needs Me), for Tony Bennett and Queen Latifah

Boxed or special limited edition package: Dave Bett and Michelle Holme’s The Promise: The Darkness on the Edge of Town Story

Album notes: Hear Me Howling: Blues, Ballads & Beyond as recorded by the San Francisco Bay by Chris Strachwitz in the 1960s

Historical album: Band on the Run (Paul McCartney Archive Collection – Deluxe Edition)

Engineered album, non-classical: Alison Krauss and Union Station’s Paper Airplane

Producer of the year, non-classical: Paul Epworth

Remixed recording, non-classical: Cinema (Skrillex Remix)

Surround sound album: Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs (Super Deluxe Edition)

Engineered album, classical: Aldridge: Elmer Gantry

Producer of the year, classical: Judith Sherman

Orchestral performance: Brahms, Symphony No. 4 by Los Angeles Philharmonic, conducted by Gustavo Dudamel

Opera recording: Adams: Doctor Atomic

Choral performance: Light & Gold - Eric Whitacre, conductor (Christopher Glynn & Hila Plitmann; The King's Singers, Laudibus, Pavão Quartet & The Eric Whitacre Singers)

Small-ensemble performance: Mackey: Lonely Motel – Music from Slide

Classical instrumental solo: Schwantner: Concerto for Percussion and Orchestra by Christopher Lamb, Giancarlo Guerrero conducts Nashville Symphony

Classical vocal solo: Joyce DiDonato with Kazushi Ono and Orchestre de l’Opera National de Lyon with Choeur de l’Opera National de Lyon for Diva Divo

Contemporary classical composition: Robert Aldridge and Herschel Garfein’s Elmer Gantry

UPDATE: Thanks to @tismey for pointing out that LL Cool J was the chef; Ice T was the Kangaroo in Tank Girl. I regret the error.

Tonight's Grammys are, as you'd expect, currently being refitted as a mawkfest. They have a more pressing problem, though, one they've bought on themselves. Chris Brown - best known for spending Grammy evening punching women in the face - has, somehow ended up on the bill. Sasha Pasulka asks why we're letting this happen:

Accepting that Chris Brown gets to perform at the Grammys because some people bought his album is no different from accepting that women without health insurance don’t get to be screened for breast cancer because some VP at Komen is anti-abortion. It may happen, but that doesn’t mean we should tacitly accept it. What if Chris Brown had hit your sister that night? Or your daughter? (What if Chris Brown had hit Taylor Swift that night?)

We’re accepting the message that women just aren’t that important, that their health and their safety and their self-respect is only important until it stops being convenient for everyone. We should be angry about this, and we should be angry publicly about this.

When they said they were going to pay tribute to Michael Jackson, who knew they were going to focus on the 'quite often didn't turn up and when he did it was disappointing' aspects of his career.

Parts of the plan have been dropping off like arms falling from a Thriller Zombie. We've had Kiss quit after they remembered how they'd slagged Jackson off.

Yesterday, the Black Eyed Peas announced they won't be in Wales this weekend:

"Due to unavoidable circumstances, the Black Eyed Peas will be unable to perform at this Saturday's Michael Forever event," said Chris Hunt, head of Global Live Events which is staging the concert.

Hey - "unavoidable circumstances" is no way a sign that they couldn't even be arsed to come up with an excuse.

Today, domestically violent Chris Brown said he wouldn't be coming, either, as he couldn't get a visa. But just as the organisers of Michael Forever were absorbing this good news came another problem: the company which had promised to run the gig as a pay-per-view event through Facebook has said it won't be:

Due to legal challenges brought by the music labels that own the rights to Michael Jackson’s lyrics, we have been notified by concert promoters Global Live Events and Ridgeline Entertainment that the live Facebook broadcast of the Michael Forever tribute concert has been cancelled. As the technology provider behind the live Facebook broadcast, Milyoni will fully refund all customers who pre-purchased access to the concert using Facebook Credits or PayPal.

“While social media presents a new opportunity for artists and concert promoters to reach global audiences, it is still a new and disruptive frontier ripe with challenges. Milyoni will continue to work closely with our music and entertainment partners to pursue this new channel of distribution, beneficial to both artists and fans worldwide.”

That's literally several people being mildly disappointed.