trees in your eyes, stars in your heart

Jeongcheol/JeonghanxSeungcheol

Disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, but being affected by bipolar disorder I tried to describe it as better as I could. This fic was so hard yet so liberating to write. Please be nice to me.

Seungcheol met Jeonghan for the first time between the tables of a bar, while eating a Hotteok. This guy came in a rush, drinking orange juice, and sat in front of him. 

The boy was so pretty it hurt. Long, dyed blond hair, with a touch of blue  on the tips. He was incredibly thin, almost sickly. He looked like an angel, with those bunny eyes, and perfect white teeth. Seungcheol felt an inch of jealousy and the desire to possess him at the same time. 

He was confused at first, but not so confused as two seconds after. 

- I’m fucking angry, I’m so angry I could overturn this fucking table and… And fucking spill my fucking orange juice that I fucking paid with my fucking money. - not so angelic from him. 

Seungcheol frowned. - I’m sorry?

- No, no, let me explain. 

- I don’t even know you. I don’t care. You came here and started to shout in the middle of my–

- I just need to fucking explain myself, okay? Let me talk. 

- Stop swearing.

- Who are you? My fucking mom?

- No. I’m a stranger who was trying to eat his Hotteok before another stranger came and decided to start screaming at me.

- So, I’m with this guy, you know. I was, actually- but that’s not the point, okay. 

- I’m not listening. 

- Your business. So, this guy was my boyfriend. Yes, I’m gay. I’m a freaking disgusting slutty fucking homosexual. His name is Joshua. I left him. 

- You left him and you have the guts to complain about him with a complete stranger?

- I left him because he was annoying. Jeonghan, I love you this, I love you that, let’s merry, let’s go live in fucking Paris and blah blah blah and suck my balls you fucking romantic asshole!

- You’re a dick. 

- I know I’m a fucking dick, okay? But he’s more a dick than I am, because now he has another one. 

- And? You left him, why are you complaining? 

- Because I’m Yoon Fucking Jeonghan! How dare he go on so early!

- You should be happy for him. Are you narcissistic or something?

- I’m a fucking divinity. 

- No, you’re a dick. And, let me say something to you: you’re insecure. 

- No, I’m not. I love myself. 

- Okay, right, now shut the fuck up. 

- Would you like to kiss me? 

Seungcheol let out a long breath. - What. The fuck. 

- You know, just for fun. 

- I have fun playing golf. Not kissing strangers.

- Golf? That sucks. 

- You suck. Go the fuck away!

- Okay, I’ll stay here, in silence. 

- Do whatever the fuck you want. As long as you shut up. - he kept eating his Hotteok, “Yoon Fucking Jeonghan” was looking at him, making him feel really uncomfortable. 

- Stop staring. 

- I’m not staring. I’m respectfully observing. 

- So stop respectfully observing. 

His emotions were actually different from what he said. Of course he wanted to kiss him: he was the prettiest boy he’d ever seen. But he had been rude, and he had been an asshole with his ex. And he kept observing him with those perfect brown eyes. He really had the desire to kiss him. So he decided to do something about that.

- What do you want? Really, I mean. Precisely. 

- Nothing, I want to kiss you. 

Seungcheol got closer to him, and lifted up his chin. - If I’ll kiss you, will you shut the fuck up?

Jeonghan put on a provocative smile. - Maybe. 

And they kissed. 

Days went by, and Seungcheol kept going to that bar. He met Jeonghan everyday, and they started to know each other better. 

- So, what do you do for a living? - Seungcheol asked, one of the first days. Jeonghan went to the bar always in the firing line, always well dressed, his blonde and blue hair perfect as usual. 

- I’m a model. 

- I can tell.

- Why did you ask, then?

- Just to be sure. 

- What about you?

- I’m a teacher. A physics teacher. 

- Boring!

- Pfft. Look Who’s Talking. You walk on a runway all day long or something like that.

- I actually pose. 

- Even more boring. 

And then they kept meeting at the same bar, ‘til one day. That day, Jeonghan didn’t show. And the day after, and again, the day after that day, and Seungcheol was sad, because he had started to become attached to that boy. Not only for his beauty, but for his energy, and for his pleasantness. He missed him.

And one day, Jeonghan showed up again. But he was… different. He had a long, too large hoodie, messy hair, dead eyes. His shoes were dirty and ruined, his back curved. Seungcheol smiled anyway, and approached him when Jeonghan went to the bar counter. He was not alone. A beautiful, tall boy was near him, and was stroking his back. - Do you want something to eat, Hannie?

Seungcheol’s heart broke. Was that Joshua? His ex? Were they back together? Maybe that was the reason Jeonghan didn’t show up. But there was something so messed up in Jeonghan’s eyes, in his posture. And he was so worried that thing passed in second place. 

Jeonghan shook his head. 

- Dear, you need to eat something. 

- Leave me alone, Shua.

Seungcheol came closer, and smiled, even if he was worried. - Jeonghan!

Jeonghan turned. Slowly. Fear in his eyes. And the boy with him turned, too. - Can we help you?

That boy was so pretty. Not prettier than Jeonghan, nobody was, for Seungcheol. But he was pretty, with his brown deer eyes, his full lips and beautiful features. 

- I’m… I’m Jeonghan’s friend. Jeonghan. - he stretched a hand to the boy, who withdrew.  Joshua frowned. - You’re scaring him.

- No! I… I’m his friend! I swear! We met here. In this bar! We kissed, we… Jeonghan, tell him! - He made a terrible mistake: he took Jeonghan’s wrist. Wrong move. The blonde began to scream, but not like the first time they met. He yelled in fear. - Get the fuck away from me! Don’t fucking touch me!

Seungcheol was speechless. He just stood, and retreated his hand, burned, motionless. The boy he kissed, the happy and energetic boy, was now… Scared? Of him? What did he do? Did he scare him in some ways? Did he do something wrong to him? 

The other boy held Jeonghan in his arms, and looked at him. Seungcheol shook his head, as saying: “I didn’t do anything, I swear”

Joshua nodded, making lip movements: “It’s not your fault.”

That evening, Seungcheol returned home with a weight on his shoulders. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what he did to Jeonghan, why did he scare him so much? 

He ate alone, some sad pieces of bread and some salad. He wasn’t really hungry. He was sad. And while he was eating, he received a voice message from an unknown number. He frowned, bringing his phone to his ear to listen to that message. 

“Hi. It’s Joshua. I was at the bar today. Jeonghan gave me your number, after a fight. I wanted to tell you he is sorry for his behavior. But I think he doesn’t have to be sorry. Wait, let me explain. I know you’re hurt, okay, and I’m really sorry for that. Jeonghan is not feeling really well lately. He didn’t come to the bar because he had been in a depressive phase for a very long time, and he didn’t want to see anyone. He’s been in his house for a week, he didn’t have a shower, he didn’t wash his plates, he didn’t go to work. And, no, we’re not back together, if you’re guessing. I love Seokmin from the bottom of my heart, and with him I found the peace I had lost. Not because of Jeonghan, because it’s not his fault. The fact is, Seungcheol, that - there was a short pause - Jeonghan is mentally ill. And I’m going to explain to you a lot of things you maybe didn’t understand at first. Now, I’m not a doctor, but I know Jeonghan very well. When you first met, Jeonghan shouted about some things, right? Was he enthusiastic, was he energetic, was he impulsive? He was in a manic phase. And I’m not saying anything he does is dictated by his manic phases, because it’s not. We love Jeonghan because he’s spontaneous, he’s pleasant, he’s pure happiness. But sometimes, his emotions become exaggerated, flowing out in a manic phase. Conversely, he’s now in a depressive phase. There’s no need to explain that to a physics teacher, I guess you’re really smart. When he enters a depressive phase, he doesn’t want to see anybody. And sometimes becomes aggressive, untreatable, and wants to be left alone. He doesn’t eat, he doesn’t go out. He just sleeps. Today I obliged him to leave his house, and it has been difficult. He scratched my arm until it bled. And sometimes he forgets to take his medicines, so we're worried. But when he met you, he looked more like himself than ever. So please, don’t blame him. I know it’s difficult, and you have any logical reason to go, but give him a second chance. Please. I have been angry with him a lot of times, but now I understand that it’s not his fault. He blames himself, every damn time. I won’t force you to forgive him, but I beg you to understand him. Okay, bye. Thank you for your time. 

And immediately, Seungcheol started crying. “What should I do now?” He loved himself so much he knew that he shouldn’t forgive Jeonghan. But that boy was sick, and he had to understand that. But he was hurt, really hurt. Now, he knew it wasn’t his fault. The thought of Jeonghan’s dead eyes made him cry even more. He was hanging by a thread. 

He wrote: “Thank you” to Joshua. Just that. It was enough. A thought came to his mind.

“Do I love him?”

And the answer came at the speed of a lightning. 

“Yes”

Stupid, stupid Seungcheol. You fell in love with someone you saw a few times in a bar. But the someone in question was full of energy, and happiness, and passion. And was beautiful, and artsy, and creative. Someone could have taken him as a crazy, romantic lover. But he didn’t care. He only cared about Jeonghan. So he bright his cellphone again, and wrote to his lover. 

“How are you?”

“I’m so sorry.”

“I asked, How are you.”

“Everything sucks, Cheol.”

“Can I come over?”

“Of course.”

Joshua opened the door for him. Seungcheol brought some flowers from the only florist open at that time. Joshua smiled. - Thank you for coming. 

Seungcheol had to hold back his tears. - Where is he?

- He’s sleeping.

Joshua made him space, making him enter the house. - His room is in front on the right.

The house was as pretty as Jeonghan. There were a lot of books and wood libraries, record players, and a green sofa in the center of the living room. The kitchen was united with the living room, it was small and modern. But Seungcheol’s attention was concentrated on the boy who was sleeping in that room. When he entered the room, he saw the most beautiful vision ever. Jeonghan was laying on his bed, which looked so big under his little body. He approached the small figure, stroking his hair, trying to not wake him up. He would've waited for him to wake up. Maybe he was dreaming of a better world, a world where mental illnesses didn't exist, where he was fine, where they were fine. He kissed his forehead. Small breaths were coming out of his nose, his chest rising and falling peacefully. He looked so angelic Seungcheol wanted to cry. And he cried. Until he heard a voice.

- Loser.

Seungcheol laughed, wiping away his tears. - Fucking menace.

Jeonghan sat, looking at him. - I’m so sorry for this morning.

Seungcheol stroked his cheek, kissing his forehead again. - It’s okay. You don't have to be sorry.

- Did Shua…

- Yes. 

Jeonghan nodded, taking his hand. - I understand if it's too much for you. 

It’s not too much. Love it's not convenience. It's not ease. Love is something more. It's giving everything, even your peace, for someone you love and live for. And I love you, Yoon Jeonghan. With your perks, and with your merits. I loved you from the first time we met, really.

- You’re a fucking loser.

- Please, don't.

- I’m joking.

- Yeah, I know. But… Jeonghan, I think you're a special person. And a special person has to be defended. And I know you're hurt, now. I know you're depressed. And I’ll do anything in my power to stay with you.

Jeongcheol/JeonghanxSeungcheol

TW: eating disorders, drug addiction.

The ward was small and there was no longer even room for the seriously ill. There was for him, it seemed. Seungcheol didn't think he was sick. He just thought he had vices. Vices that could be corrected even without all the medicines they pumped him with from morning to night. He was no longer himself. He walked like a living dead day and night. 

- Have you considered hospitalization?

- No. And I won't. 

- Look, I spoke to your parents: they say that in their opinion you should be admitted to hospital. 

- I'm thirty. I believe that the decision-making power is mine. 

- Not in this case. You see, Seungcheol, a drug addict can't risk being exposed to the world out there. Not in your condition. 

- I stop whenever I want. 

- I don’t think so. Otherwise, you would have already stopped. 

- And who tells you this, doctor?

But the doctor had been very convincing, and he was now hospitalized in the psychiatry department. The days were so long he always wanted to go to sleep as soon as possible. 

The only light he had was Jeonghan. 

Jeonghan was thin as a paper sheet, it was no wonder that every time Seungcheol touched him he could feel his ribs, spine and shoulder blades vividly. He, to all intents and purposes, was sick. He shaked every time he didn’t have his hoodie with him, and it was June. 

Jeonghan didn’t go anywhere without his glasses, too. He was blind as a mole, but even with those thick frame glasses, Seungcheol found him so beautiful he couldn’t stop staring at him. He remembered the first time he saw him, on his first day. At that time, Seungcheol had been there for two weeks and two days. And he saw this paper thin boy, curved on his bed, reading something. 

Seungcheol had stopped in front of his open door, smiling at him with his consumed teeth, hoping not to scare him. 

- Hi! - he said. The boy had raised his head and eyes from his book, looking at him. A shy smile appeared on his lips. - Hi. 

- You’re so beautiful. - Seungcheol said, sincerely. The paper thin boy smiled even more, his cheeks turned red. - Thank you. You’re beautiful too. 

- Oh, no. I’m not. I’m all consumed by the drugs, you see? Even my tongue is. See? - He stuck out his tongue, and the boy tilted his head. - This doesn’t make you less beautiful. I like your pants. 

- These? Oh. I stole them. 

The boy laughed. - You stole them?!

- Yeah. I steal lots of things. Have you ever stolen anything?

The boy didn’t even think before answering. - No. 

- Good boy. Stealing is not a good thing. I did it because I spent everything on drugs. 

- You stole them from who?

He brought a hand to his mouth, whispering: - A clothing shop. 

- Makes sense. 

- Can I come in?

- Of course. I feel alone here. 

Seungcheol entered the room, looking around. The room, like any other, was bare and blindingly white. Psychiatric rooms were almost naked, there wasn't anything that could hurt the patient. Pillows, cables, even body care products were segregated by the nurses. But Jeonghan’s room was full of puppets and books, and Seungcheol was softened by that. He could understand Jeonghan’s good heart just by that. He took a panda puppet from the night table and looked at its eyes, smiling. - So cute. 

- My mom brought me that. For the hospitalization. 

- She must love you. 

- She does. 

- Mine doesn’t. She brought me here, with my father. They didn’t want me at home. I know it’s embarrassing, a thirty years old man still lives with his parents.

- You look younger. I’m twenty-nine. 

Seungcheol widened his eyes. That boy looked like an angel, a young angel. How could he possibly be his age? - Twenty-what?

Jeonghan laughed. - Twenty-nine. 

- Did your parents send you here, too?

- No. I decided to come here. 

- Why are you here?

Jeonghan’s face darkened. - Because I don’t eat. 

- You… Don’t eat? 

- Yeah. 

- So you’re like, anorexic or something? - Seungcheol wasn’t good with feelings or words, but he didn’t do it on purpose. 

- Yeah. - Jeonghan let his gaze wander through the room. - And you? Why are you here?

- I love drugs. 

That had been their first interaction. And now Seungcheol was in his room, dying from boredom, thinking about his sun. And longing for a cigarette. So he decided to do something about that. He walked out of his room, taking a cigarette out of his pocket and walking straight to Jeonghan’s room. He saw the boy sleeping in his bed, and he was delighted by that vision, even if it hurt. 

Jeonghan looked like a hurt angel whose wings had been clipped. So thin, everyday he looked thinner and thinner. He had never seen him eating. Every time they had dinner, because dinner was at six p.m. and everyone had it together, he never ate, even if the nurses constricted him, with very unpleasant tones. 

- Eat, Yoon. 

- I don’t want to. 

- I said: eat. If you don’t eat, we tie you up. 

- I don’t like lentils. 

- You say this every fucking evening and morning. Fucking spoiled boy.

- Hey, don’t treat him like that. - Seungcheol said that evening, and the other patients raised their heads. The nurse looked at him. - Mind your business. I do this for him. 

- Have you tried talking to him with sweetness? Maybe his will to eat will be better. You treat us like fucking criminals. And even criminals shouldn’t be treated like this, because they’re human, too. 

Jeonghan smiled at him. And his heart started beating faster. He knew he was doing something good by that. 

- Shut up, Choi, and eat your lentils. 

- No! I deserve to be listened to! Our voice matters! Am I right? 

The patients nodded, or said “Yes” in unison. 

- We’re not just surnames. We’re people. - Lee Chan said, at the back of the table. 

- Of course we are! We are fucking people! And we need to be treated like people!

- Okay, then. - The nurse raised his voice, and overturned Jeonghan’s plate against his pajamas. Jeonghan jumped as the hot soup of lentils touched his skin, wincing. Seungcheol immediately rushed to him, helping him to clean himself. 

- What the fuck?! Are you dumb?

- He didn’t want to eat, so he won’t eat. Goodnight. If I don’t see you in your beds, I’ll tell the psychiatrist. 

Seungcheol was still shocked by that action. Jeonghan couldn’t even have a shower, because his products and his clean pajamas were in the locker, which was locked and the nurses had the keys. And he probably didn’t have the courage to ask anything. Seungcheol approached him, sitting on his bed and caressing his sunken cheeks. 

- Hannie. How are you? Time for a cigarette?

He didn’t take so much time to apprehend Jeonghan was crying, not sleeping. He should’ve felt so humiliated. Seungcheol would make that nurse pay for that. 

- Cheol. Am I spoiled?

- You’re not fucking spoiled. You’re really trusting the words of a crazy ass psychopath? You’re ill. You perfectly know that. Here, let me give you this. - Seungcheol had brought a clean sweater from his locker. He asked the keys to the nurses, because he didn’t really care what they could’ve said. 

Jeonghan took the sweater. - For me?

- Of course it’s for you. You smell of lentils.

Jeonghan’s eyes dropped. 

- Oh, no, no! It’s not your fault, baby. - Seungcheol lifted Jeonghan’s chin, looking at his eyes. He was about to cry. - It’s not your fault. It’s his fault. He made a mess on your beautiful pajamas!

- You… You called me “baby”. 

Seungcheol didn’t even notice. He just let his word flow. - Oh. Did I?

- Yeah. 

- Sorry. I didn’t mean to. 

- No, it’s okay. I like that. 

Seungcheol smiled. - Okay, baby. I’ll do it again, then. 

Their relationship was so pure Seungcheol wanted to cry. They were… Friends? He never really understood that. They were more than friends. 

“Friends don’t call each other baby” he told himself. And he liked Jeonghan. Every time he looked at him, his heart made somersaults. His big beautiful eyes, his pink lips, his long, black hair. Everything about Jeonghan looked like a fever dream. Jeonghan wore that black sweater, too large for him, but still adorable on his skin. 

- Cigarette? - Seungcheol insisted. 

- You heard what he said. If he sees us, he ties us up. 

- Okay, then I’ll sleep here. 

- You… You can’t.

- You’re fucking boring. - Seungcheol lay down on Jeonghan’s bed, hugging him tightly. He could feel his spine and ribs. The boy hugged him back, caressing his back with his small hand. 

- I love you. 

Seungcheol raised his head, looking at him. - You do?

- I’ve never loved someone like I love you. 

Seungcheol held his face, looking at his eyes, at his lips. - Can I kiss you?

Seoksoo/SeokminxJisoo

The first song Joshua wrote was when he was eleven. It wasn’t good. It sucked, actually. But at least, he wrote a song. It was written in English, his first language. Korean was his second language. It was more a poetry than a song, and it talked about an elf who, after a curse, went to the witch who cursed him to break the malediction, but ended up falling in love with her. Joshua was mama’s boy, so she encouraged him to keep writing. And he did it. Now he was a songwriter, who wrote songs for a trio. 

The trio was formed by Boo Seungkwan, Lee Seokmin and Kwon Soonyoung. But he wrote in Korean, because none of them could understand English.

BooSeokSoon. And they were famous. So famous they filled stadiums. And he was backstage, writing, but he was okay with that. He never was such an extroverted person, who liked being on a stage in front of a crowd. His twin brother, however, was. In fact, he was a musician, too. Jeonghan opened BooSeokSoon’s concerts every time, playing his acoustic guitar and singing his self written songs. He was talented, maybe more talented than Joshua, and there had always been competition in their family. But Joshua loved Jeonghan and Jeonghan loved Joshua, so that competition lasted for a very short period of time. 

He wrote his second song at fifteen. It talked about his family. About his dad, who abandoned them, one day. About their rage. That was a good song. When Mr. Hong went away, and left them, Jeonghan was pure rage. He was only ten, but he started to smash his toys against the wall, he started to shout and yell. Joshua, instead, was silent. He cried every night in his bed, hugging his pillow. 

- Be angry, Joshua. Fuck! Scream, rage. - Jeonghan said, at fifteen. 

- Don’t swear.

- I swear when, where and how I want. I want you to be angry. I want you to let off steam. 

-  I can’t, okay? I can’t. 

- Why?

- I don’t know. I’m blocked. There’s something that keeps me here, while you go on. There’s something that keeps my mind back to that day. 

- Then let it go. 

Joshua couldn’t let it go. He had never been able to let it go, to forgive his father. Jeonghan didn’t forget what he did, either, but at least he let all that pain go away with all the rage he had in his little body. 

His last song, the one he was writing, was about love. It was rare, Joshua never wrote about love. He always wrote about pain, and guilt, and grief. But now, he was writing a love song. He was writing with his sketchbook and his pen (he preferred the old style), with a soft light, until he heard the door opening. 

- For God’s Sake, it’s four a.m. What are you doing awake?

- I’m writing. 

- Joshua, you know I agree with your creative flair. But you need to sleep. 

- It’s called business. 

- What are you writing, anyway? - Jihoon, his producer, approached him with a curious look. 

- A song. 

- No shit. 

- What do you want me to tell you?

- What kind of song, for example. 

- A love song. 

Jihoon was the typical cynical person who didn’t really like love songs. He preferred something heartbreaking, something sad or even angry. But what Joshua was writing was, actually, sad and heartbreaking. But it talked about love, anyway. A never started love, two people who never said what they felt to each other. 

The kind of love that flew between him and Seokmin. 

Joshua met Seokmin when Jihoon introduced them to each other, with Seungkwan and Soonyoung. And immediately, Joshua fell desperately in love with him. With his bright smile and his joyful eyes, and he knew for sure his love was reciprocated. Why? Because nobody ever looked at him like Seokmin did. Seokmin’s happy eyes looked at him with admiration, not only for the songs he wrote for them, but for… What else? Lots of things. 

He knew that because Jeonghan told him. And Jihoon too. And Seungkwan. And Soonyoung. Lee Seokmin was in love with him and he was in love with Lee Seokmin, but none of them had the guts to tell that to each other.

Jihoon looked at him, frowning. - And what does this love song say?

- Read.

Joshua was one of few words.

When you cycled by

Here began all my dreams

The saddest thing I've ever seen

And you never knew

How much I really liked you

Because I never even told you

Oh, and I meant to

Jihoon read, his frown always present on his face. Then he looked at Joshua, who just raised his eyebrows. - Don’t like it?

- No, I mean. These are the best lyrics you’ve ever written. But you know Seokmin is gonna read it, right?

- And?

- And, what?

- And, what do I care about?

- I’m glad you don’t care that you won’t be our songwriter anymore. 

- Why?

- Oh for god’s sake, Joshua Hong. How could you be so oblivious?

- Oblivious?

- Stop asking fucking questions. 

- I don’t understand you, Jihoon. Genuinely. 

- The fact that I have to explain this to you makes me mad. - Jihoon read the song again, louder. - And you never knew how much I really liked you. What is this, a fucking declaration of love to Seokmin or what?

- It is not. - It was.

Jihoon raised his eyebrows, letting the sheet go. 

- Even if it was– Why wouldn’t I be your songwriter anymore?

- Because you two would fight. Or, worse, fall in love.

Joshua tried not to blush at that option. Fall in love? That was a dream. Joshua had never fallen in love with anybody. He had never had a relationship or something like that. While he watched his brother being in love with Choi Seungcheol for years, he was alone. But he wasn’t ready. He was okay with that. He had never been a romantic kind of person. He never wanted to commit, and even if he liked Seokmin, he liked him so much, at the point he even thought he loved him, he wasn’t sure he wanted a relationship. Because he was used to being alone. 

- We won’t fall in love. And we won’t fight.

- Who said that? 

- Me. 

- Very reliable.

- Who told you we will?

- My instinct. And facts. 

- Which facts?

- The fact that you two are in love with each other. And either you fight or fall in love. 

Joshua stopped to think for a moment. - And what problem would there be if we fell in love?

- I think you’re smart enough to understand it. 

- Maybe I’m not. 

Jihoon took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose with the index finger and thumb. - Joshua, you’re our songwriter. And Seokmin is our lead singer. Now, if the two parts fall in love with each other, it is a mess. Because if you, one day, write some songs Seokmin doesn’t like, and doesn’t want to sing, for personal reasons, and you two fight, for me it would be difficult to mediate. Seokmin is our pearl. Of course Seungkwan and Soonyoung are, too, but Seokmin decides. He’s the frontman.

- But who told you I want to be with Seokmin? Who told you my wishes? Why are you taking for granted what I want? 

Jihoon was speechless. And Joshua was satisfied. 

- Joshua, I didn’t mean to take your wishes for granted. I just supposed. And then… Well, if you won’t fall in love, you will fight. Because you won’t be with him and he will. 

- Why do you have to be so mathematical? Every time, you have to calculate anything. Life is not like that. We’re humans, not numbers. 

- Joshua, you’re not going to let the others see that song. Period. 

Joshua widened his eyes, jumping off his seat. - What?! But… But that’s the best song I’ve ever written!

- I don’t care. Do you want to ruin your career?

- You… I’m not going to ruin my career! It’s just a song! A fucking song, I…

- Don't raise your voice to your superior.

- I do whatever the fuck I want! You can’t do this to me!

- Oh, yeah? - Jihoon said, looking at Joshua. He was a few centimeters shorter than him, so he had to look at him from the bottom up. - You’re fired. 

Joshua’s heart broke in a million little pieces. He felt betrayed. By a friend. Yes, he was his superior, but Jihoon was, first of all, a friend. - What… Fired? 

- Yes. Fired. You’re out. And this? - he took the sheet from the table and smashed it against Joshua’s chest. - You can do this whatever you want. It’s not my problem anymore. 

Joshua smashed the door of the apartment he shared with his brother. 

- What’s this fucking racket?

He didn’t say anything. He just entered the kitchen with the shopping bags and left them on the table, puffing. Jeonghan left his room, looking at him. - What the fuck? Not even a “Hello”, or a “I’m fucking back, you fucking asshole”? 

- Shut up, shut up. 

- Hey, watch your fucking mouth.

- Me? You’re swearing like a butcher, and I have to watch my mouth?

- Swearing is my only personality trait. Why are you so mad, by the way?

- I’m fired. 

Jeonghan raised his eyebrows. - You’re what? 

- I’m fired, Jeonghan. 

- Why the fuck are you fired? You were doing so well!

- Because I wrote a love song and Jihoon didn’t agree with that. 

- I don’t believe you. 

- Okay. - Joshua took a deep breath. - That song was about me and Seokmin. And he didn’t take that well. 

- What? What kind of problem does he have? Let me read that. 

- No. 

- Why not?

- Because you’ll tell me the exact same things. 

- I’m not an asshole, Shua. And I can’t fire you. 

- That’s for sure. Can we have dinner first? I’m dying from hunger. 

They didn’t really talk during dinner. Or, Jeonghan talked, while Joshua didn’t.

- So Seungcheol told me Minghao and Junhui kissed last week. They kissed! - he stopped to eat a bite of scrambled eggs. - Those two… They’re so different. Yet so good together.  

- Mh. 

- You don’t care, am I right?

- Mh. 

- Are you even listening to me?

- Mh. 

Jeonghan pressed his lips together, rolling his eyes. - I’m homophobe. 

- Mh. 

- I’m a prostitute. 

- Mh.

- I’m a fucking serial killer and I’m ready to smash your fucking face against the wall.

- Mhmh. 

Jeonghan smashed the plate against the wall. Just then, Joshua raised his head, looking at him astonished. - What. The fuck.

- Oh, finally! 

- Are you out of your mind?

- Joshua, I don’t know what to do anymore! Are you depressed or something? 

- What?

- Fucking react!

- To what?

- Why are you so… Apathetic? - Jeonghan seemed to be on the verge of crying. - You’ve always been. Always! Since we were little kids! Since dad… - he squeezed his punches together. - I just want you to react. To rage. To fucking be angry! Why are you so passionless? 

Joshua didn’t know what to say. It hurt to see Jeonghan like that, but it didn’t hurt enough. It was his brother! It should've hurt so much more. Why was he like that? Even with Seokmin. The man he was supposed to love. Seokmin told him he was beautiful, once. And the only thing he did was shrugging and saying “Thanks”. Nothing more. So he did something. He stood up, went to Jeonghan and hugged him. Tight. So tight he could feel his brother’s heartbeat. 

He hadn’t hugged Jeonghan for years. His twin brother startled at first, then burst to tears, hugging him back. - I love you, Jeonghan-ah. Sorry if I don’t say that often. 

- Asshole. 

Joshua loosened the embrace, wiping Jeonghan’s tears. Then, he searched for his song in his bag, and when he found it, he handed it to his brother. 

- It’s stupid. I know. And it ruined my career, so… 

- Shh. - Jeonghan said, reading. And when he finished, he slammed the sheet on the table. Joshua raised an eyebrow. - I know it’s not so good, but-

- I’m gonna kill Jihoon with my bare hands. This is fucking beautiful!

- Yeah?

- Yeah! It is! Why would this ruin your career?

- Because it’s dedicated to Seokmin.

- So what? 

- That’s what I said. 

- Let him read that. 

- What?

- Are you deaf? Let him read that. 

Joshua shook his head. - I can’t. 

- Why? It’s beautiful. It’s well written. It’s heartfelt. 

- Jeonghan-ah, I just can’t. What if he rejects me? Or, worse, what if he’s in love with me, too?

- That’s fucking beautiful, then! Tell me what you fear. 

- I’m afraid of commitment. Of love, and everything. You know, how do you do when you’re with Cheol? 

- I’m just myself. And I love him. Like you love Seokmin. 

- But, I don’t know how to be myself. I’m a shit when I’m myself. I can’t show my feelings. I can’t express them. What if I hurt him?

Jeonghan smiled, taking Joshua’s hand. - You’ve got a big heart, Shua. You just can’t see it. 

- I don’t know anything about love. What can I do about it? 

- Nothing. I do not know anything about love either. But, you know what? I don’t care. I just go with the flow. I just let things happen. And everything shines like the sun. 

I would rather not go

Back to the old house

I would rather not go

Back to the old house

There's too many bad memories

Too many memories there

When you cycled by

Here began all my dreams

The saddest thing I've ever seen

And you never knew

How much I really liked you

Because I never even told you

Oh, and I meant to

Are you still there or have you moved away?

Or have you moved away?

I would love to go

Back to the old house

But I never will

I never will

I never will

On the ledge of the building where Lee Seokmin lived, the two boys were sitting cross-legged. Seokmin stopped to read the sheet that Joshua gave him, concentrated and almost in a state of trance. Then he turned to look at Joshua, who was smoking a cigarette. Joshua had a problem with cigarettes. He smoked a lot. He smoked the entire pack in a day, and Seokmin disapproved of that habit, but didn’t say anything. 

- This is… This is beautiful. 

- I’ve been fired. 

Seokmin showed a shocked face: - What… How? Why?

- Because of that song.

- But that’s the most beautiful song you’ve ever written!

- It’s about us, Seok. - Joshua said. 

- About… Us? 

- Yes. 

Seokmin looked so happy at that moment that Joshua was scared. Scared he could deceive him. The talk he had with Jeonghan could have made him change his mind about his absolute dissent regarding love, but he wasn’t really sure yet. What if he hurt him? He immediately regretted having made him read the song. 

- So you like me? 

- I do, yes. I do like you, Seokmin. 

Now, Seokmin looked even happier. A big smile was painted on his lips, and his cheeks were red as cherries. But Joshua wasn’t smiling. He let out a deep breath, his eyes dropped. Seokmin noticed that. - Oh… I’m so sorry you’ve been fired for this. 

- No, Seok, I’m not sad about that. I mean, it’s not difficult to find a job as a songwriter these days. Of course I’ll miss you, Kwan and Soonyoung, but… Just because I like you, it doesn’t mean we… - he couldn’t finish the sentence. And Seokmin’s smile dropped immediately. 

- Oh. 

- Yeah. 

- But… That song…

- I know. I’m sorry. 

Seokmin’s eyes were full of tears he was trying to hold back. 

“I knew it. I hurt him. I broke his heart. Stupid, stupid Joshua who has to sabotage himself every time.”

- I’m so sorry, Seok.

- It’s okay, Hyung. - Seokmin smiled, as always. - Can I hug you?

- Of course. 

Yeonbin/YeonjunxSoobin

That morning, Soobin and his parents were on a trip for one of their usual Sunday outings. At the time, the boy was only eight years old and had a great desire to discover the world. That's why he had wandered off that day. The vegetation was thick and he had gotten lost in the woods.

“Your curiosity will get you into a lot of trouble,” his mother had told him one day, scolding him, when he had looked at the teachers' report cards at school, getting a bad note in the register. But what could Soobin do? He was simply a curious child, with a great desire to discover! Except that that day, in fact, he had gotten lost. He could no longer find his parents, even though the woods had various paths specifically to ensure that lost explorers could find their way back.

But Soobin was not an adult, nor an explorer. So he burst into tears, calling out to his parents at the top of his lungs.

- Mom! Dad! - he shouted, but no one could hear him. Soobin was a curious child. And he was also a very distracted child, because he hadn't even realized that he was disturbing, with his screams, someone who, a little further ahead, was... dancing.

Soobin stopped crying, attracted by that music that he hadn't realized he had heard even a little while before, too busy crying and calling for his parents. He hid behind a tree, looking from behind the trunk. When you're a child, everything is purer. He didn't realize he was spying on the boy who was dancing in the middle of the woods, because he was simply an eight-year-old child. For him, he was just admiring him, attracted by that music and those graceful and agile movements.

The music was pressing and was played by an old black radio, placed on the branch of a tree. But the real protagonist of the scene was the dancer, who was dancing undisturbed, as if no one was watching him. The leaves moved beneath him, as did the earth, in a dance that seemed to include all the elements of nature. He moved his thin arms in the air, letting the air move, light and delicate movements, exactly as they were supposed to be. Soobin wondered how he hadn’t heard him. How he hadn’t stopped when he heard his screams. Until he heard the last notes of the song and everything became clearer to him. The boy stopped, catching his breath. Soobin thought he had to dance again, but he saw him take the radio in his hands and turn it off.

- Look, I know you’re there. I’m not stupid.

Soobin felt his cheeks heat up and hid even more behind the trunk.

- Come on, come out! Coward.

Soobin let his head pop out of the trunk and looked at the dancer with obvious embarrassment. - I’m sorry. You’re just good.

- I’m good, that’s a fact. That you are a spy too. - The boy ran his hands over his shorts, shaking the dirt off them. - I'm Yeonjun. - he said, holding out his right hand to him.

Then, Soobin slipped out of the tree, clasping that bony hand with his own. - Soobin.

Before Yeonjun could open his mouth to speak, Soobin heard his name being shouted.

- Soobin! Soobin! Oh, thank God! - His parents. His parents had come back to get him, they had found him. His mom picked him up, giving him a big kiss on the cheek. - My darling! We found you!

Soobin smiled.

While Yeonjun felt like crying.

- You never told me about your parents, Hyung. - Soobin took a drag from the joint, before passing it to Yeonjun. It was Yeonjun who had given him the habit of soft drugs. Yeonjun, being a dancer, should have been virtuous and respectful of the rules, but if we all reasoned with “ifs” and “buts” we would never get out of it. - Even that day, in the woods. You were alone. You were only nine years old.

They were now twenty-four and twenty-three and had been friends for a lifetime. A little more than friends, maybe. At least for Soobin. Soobin loved Yeonjun. He loved his pink and full lips, he loved watching him dance, he loved his thin face, he loved his lithe body. He loved everything about him. And he loved it when they went to bed together, after drugs. He loved it a little less when Yeonjun got pissed off.

- There’s nothing to say. - Yeonjun let out a puff of smoke from his lips.

- Weird. You always have so much to say.

- I said there’s nothing to say, Soobin. And I’m high.

- Yeah. Me too.

They were standing outside Yeonjun's balcony, which was always free since his parents were practically a mystery. Soobin's house was off limits. If his parents found out he was taking cannabinoids they would probably go nuts. Anyway, Yeonjun lived alone, in a fairly large house too, since he was able to earn a nice nest egg with his dancing. And now they were smoking a joint. And then they would wait a bit and then smoke another one and so on.

Yeonjun sighed. - My parents were so poor that the social workers took me away from my family. We lived in the mud. They didn’t have a job. They didn’t clean the house. They didn’t feed me. And they didn’t send me to school. I was illiterate until I was nine. Until the social workers found me. - he stopped to take a drag on the joint. - That’s it. That’s what you need to know.

Soobin listened while looking down. He had no idea what was right and wrong about that whole thing. - Do you miss them?

- No. They spent their time yelling at each other and yelling swear words at me. They said I was the child of the devil.

- Hyung–

- I don’t want your pity.

- I wasn’t going to pity you. I just… I don’t understand. Maybe because I’ve never been through a situation like this. I’ve been loved by my parents since I was a child, you know. It’s awful to hear that from you.

Yeonjun shrugged. - Well, I guess everyone has a different fate, right?

- But why you? You don’t deserve it. - Soobin moved closer to Yeonjun, wrapping his arms around his hips. He could feel his breath on his nose.

- No one deserves anything. Life isn’t a merit. It’s a collection of coincidences.

- You think it’s a coincidence that we met?

- Yes. No. Damn, I’m just so high. - Yeonjun raised himself up on his toes to drop a kiss on Soobin’s lips, who lightly caressed his brown hair.

- It can’t be a coincidence. Because I’ve loved you for fifteen fucking years, Jun.

- Measure your words carefully. - They spoke into each other’s lips, breath against breath.

- I’m measuring them really well.

- No one ever told me they loved me.

- I'm doing it. Now.

- You're high.

- Can't you see it?

- Then why do you say these things to me?

- Because I think about them, Hyung.

- What if tomorrow you forget about them?

- We'll think about it tomorrow.

Soobin woke up early and with a bad headache, like every time after a session of "recreation", as they called it. Yeonjun was sleeping next to him. He breathed softly against his hair, holding him close, legs tangled, arms folded under the pillow. Even when he was asleep, Soobin found him beautiful. His big eyes were closed, his thick lips were half open. Soobin allowed himself the concession of kissing him, and immediately felt him sniff, while he ran a hand over his tired eyes. The younger boy smiled, caressing his cheek. - Good morning.

- Damn.

- You're a kind word, even in the morning.

- Your breath stinks. - Yeonjun sighed, turning away. Soobin felt slightly offended by that statement, but continued to cuddle his friend, stroking his hair. - Yours is no joke either.

- I have a headache.

- Me too.

- We overdid it yesterday with the smoke.

Soobin laughed, wrapping his arms around Yeonjun's hips. - You overdid it. You rolled the joints.

He watched Yeonjun turn around in his arms again, his eyes closed. He held him tighter, stroking his back. - Do you remember anything from yesterday?

- I told you about my family.

- Yes.

Yeonjun opened his eyes, before sighing.

- You didn't want to?

- No, it's not that… - the dancer shook his head. - It's not that I didn't want to. It just took me ages to tell you. I'm sorry

Soobin frowned. - Are you sorry? For what?

Yeonjun simply moved against his chest, sighing again. - I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I was ashamed. I wish I had a family like yours. I was jealous of you. Of your mother, of your father. Of your relationship, basically. I never had a real family, not even when I had one. My mother was an alcoholic who was too tired to cuddle me or tell me stories when she came home, and my father, he... Well, he just wasn't there. He sat in his room drinking beer all day, and if I dared to disturb him, he'd yell at me. He told me I should never have been born.

Soobin didn't say anything. He just kept holding him.

- Do you still think about the things you said to me yesterday?

- Hyung, I think about them even more than yesterday, now that I'm sober. Now that I look at you without the fog in my eyes. And I'm sorry for everything you've had to go through. I love you. That was it.

Yeonjun smiled. The most beautiful smile in the world, for Soobin. He had fallen in love with that smile since they were kids, when he saw him smirk at his fall from his bike at nine years old. Soobin's family had taken him to heart, even when social workers had taken him away from his parents. Since then, Yeonjun had lived in a foster home. But Soobin and his family had visited him often, taking him on trips with them, letting him dance in the woods just like the first time they met. And Yeonjun was grateful to them.

- And you? Do you love me, Jun?

Yeonjun thought for a moment before answering. - I think so. I mean, I love you like two people in love love each other. But “love” is a hard word for me, you know? I’ve never been loved. No one has ever taught me what love is, except you. It’s a strong word. If you ask me if I’m in love with you, I’ll say yes, I am. But… - he paused briefly to clear his throat. - You know, it’s complicated.

- There’s nothing simpler than love.

- For you, maybe. For me, there’s nothing more complicated.

- Yeonjun, I’m not good at anything. I’m not good at dancing, I’m not good at singing, I’m terrible at anything.

- That’s not true.

- Let me finish. I’ve never felt like I was capable of doing anything. But loving you? I’m very good at that. I wake up in the morning and I love you. I go to sleep and I love you. I've just never been as good at anything as loving someone. And if that someone is you, I get even better at it.

Junhui

- Earth fairy

- Calm and peaceful

- Music and dance lover

- Always smiling

Soonyoung

- Fire fairy

- Runs with tigers

- Takes energy by the sun

- Friendly and playful

Wonwoo

- Earth fairy

- Interested in human beings

- Smart and kind

- Loves rain and thunders

Jihoon

-Air fairy

- Shy and wary

- Loves music and poetry

Seungcheol

- Fire fairy

- Angry but kind

- Expert in medicine and healing

- Loves to fight

Jeonghan

- Air fairy

- Mischievous

- Plays lots of pranks

- Friendly

Joshua

- Water fairy

- Jeonghan's bestfriend

- Romantic

Where Seungcheol, during hunting, finds an injured fairy.

The clearing was full of mushrooms that morning. Mushrooms that Seungcheol could use to create one of his magical and healing soups for his brother Joshua, who didn’t seem to be getting better. His twin had caught a bad illness, a mysterious disease that not even Seungcheol, an elf expert in healing and medicine, could identify. He was all sneezing and fever, a fever that had lasted for months and didn’t seem to go away with any magic.

Now, Seungcheol was worried, and he hoped that a warm mushroom soup could do him some good. He had a good relationship with Joshua, they loved each other, and since their parents had died in battle they had become even closer.

“Brothers always support each other, Joshua. Remember that,” he had told him one day, when they returned from hunting. And Joshua had agreed that yes, it was definitely like that. Even when Seokmin, Joshua’s lover had left him, Seungcheol had been by his side every second, with his ways, of course, but he had never abandoned him. Seokmin was a druid in the clearing, and he had loved Joshua for years, before leaving him because they were incompatible.

And now Seungcheol was afraid that Joshua might leave him forever, because his condition was getting worse. That was what he thought as he wandered around the clearing. He had to bring home food, too, and as much as it hurt him to kill rabbits and deers, that was their destiny. He believed in that strongly. He believed that every living thing had a role, and the role of animals was to feed humans.

He bent down to pick up a particularly large mushroom, examining it to make sure it wasn’t poisonous, smelling it, before putting it in the basket. The clearing was big enough to house druids, elves, fairies, and sorcerers, who lived not exactly at peace with each other. The elves were the most peaceful creatures in the clearing, the fairies the most mischievous, and the sorcerers the most gruff. And Seungcheol didn’t think much of the druids, considering what Seokmin had done to his brother. Not that he had cheated on him, but he had still made him suffer. There was no room for humans in that clearing. Any human who approached was swept away by the magical barrier that protected them.

Humans were bad. A human had tried to kill Seungcheol when he was just a child. He had been alone for a while, when the clearing was not yet protected.

“Cheol, be careful, little one. Some humans might come,” his mother had warned, caressing his cheek. She had only moved away for a second, just for an instant. And Seungcheol had felt himself grabbed by the arm, had felt himself dragged into the bushes. But before the humans could do anything to him, just because he was different from them, just because he scared them, or maybe because they wanted to take over that territory, which was theirs, Joshua had shot his first arrow, killing them. He had saved him, his brother had saved his life.

And he wouldn’t have forgiven himself if he hadn’t done the same.

Seungcheol continued walking in the shade of trees and bushes, and when he saw a roe deer he silently grabbed his bow and arrows, shouldering them. He forked the arrow with two fingers, pulling it to his lip, sticking out his tongue to concentrate. Then he struck.

As he walked home, roe deer on his shoulders, mushrooms and leaves in his basket, Seungcheol was increasingly worried about Joshua. Who knows how he was coping at that moment. He was alone in the house and there was no way he could warn him. Until.

A shadow, on the trunk of a tree. The shadow of a pair of wings, torn, tortured, across the river. Seungcheol was a kind boy. Grumpy, at times, that’s for sure. But kind. He was the boy who helped the little ones solve math puzzles at school when they were struggling, he was the brother who went hunting to get lunch for himself and his sick twin. That's why he crossed the wooden bridge, even though it meant taking a much longer route home.

There was a little fairy, lying on the grass. His wings were torn, his face was pale, his eyes were closed. Fairies, compared to elves, were very small. About four or five centimeters tall. In particular, that little fairy was tiny and skinny, even emaciated. Seungcheol took him in his hands. It was a boy. He blushed when he looked at his face. He was so beautiful that he couldn't believe his eyes.

Long brown hair, curly, thin eyebrows that gave him such a sweet but suffering expression as he breathed with difficulty.

- Oh, little one. - Seungcheol whispered, touching his wings with all the delicacy in the world. The green and brown clothes made him think that he was an earth fairy. He felt the fairy's little heart beating fast under his hands, and he gently stroked his hair. The fairy moved in his hands, scared.

- I don't want to hurt you. What happened to you?

- The humans... The humans came in. They tore my wings. I can't fly anymore. - His voice was so thin and so beautiful, full of pain for what had happened to him.

- Humans?

The fairy tried to sit up in his hands, every movement was hard. - Have you ever seen one?

- Of course.

- I don't know why they took it out on me - the boy looked like he was about to cry.

- Because they are cruel. And they are afraid of us. - But how can you be afraid of such a small and defenseless creature? - I'll take you to my house. I'll fix your wings and you can fly again.

It was a promise.

- What's your name?

- Seungcheol. And you?

- Jeonghan.

Jeonghan.

That name rang in his eardrums like sweet music. Holding the little fairy on his shoulder, Jeonghan seemed to be feeling a little better after drinking some of the rose and juniper potion that Seungcheol always carried with him. He knew that roses had a great healing power on fairies, but the beautiful silver wings still seemed to be completely broken and useless.

The wings were the same shape as those of angels, only they were bright and transparent, and Jeonghan reminded him, in every way, of a miniature angel. They were feathered and, at that moment, Seungcheol could glimpse the skeleton through the tear.

He felt that Jeonghan's breathing had stabilized in his ear and this reassured him, but he also knew that they had to go home as soon as possible, because Joshua was still sick.

They weren't too far away, the clearing was small. In the meantime, Jeonghan was trying in every way to fly, without success.

- Don't force yourself. - Seungcheol said, gently stroking his head.

- I am nothing without my wings. Without my powers.

- That is not true.

- Yes it is. What is a fairy without their wings?

Seungcheol thought deeply before answering. - Each of us has a hidden talent. Something that distinguishes us. Something innate, that does not depend on what is given to us at birth by our parents. For example, I discovered my talent in hunting. I can heal creatures. What can you do?

- I can play pranks.

Seungcheol laughed. - Well, like all fairies.

- What are you doing, belittling me?

- No sir. What pranks can you do?

- I hide acorns from squirrels. Or I steal my brothers' clothes and turn them into frogs.

- The clothes or your brothers?

Seungcheol heard Jeonghan scream in pain. The fairy doubled over, clutching his chest. - My wings, my wings!

Seungcheol immediately took him in his hands, noticing that the little wings were losing feathers. As Jeonghan writhed, the elf felt his pain building up in his chest. - We’re close to home. Don’t be afraid. Everything will be okay.

Jeonghan was crying. Big tears were streaming down his pale cheeks.

A few steps separated them from the threshold of the small wooden house where he lived with Joshua. And as soon as they crossed the threshold, Seungcheol gently laid Jeonghan on a bed of leaves, while the boy writhed in pain.

The elf felt like he was immersed in a pool of lava. He had to take care of his brother and that little fairy he had found in the middle of the clearing. In a second he was heating the mushrooms along with the bay leaves, and the next second he was next to Jeonghan. The fairy continued to cry, screaming in pain. Seungcheol watched Joshua come down the stairs, rubbing his eye. - Cheol-ah… What’s this racket?

When Joshua noticed Jeonghan, he couldn’t help but move closer. Joshua was still pale, but the fact that he was standing was a good thing. His twin knelt in front of the injured fairy, holding out his finger. - Hey, little guy.

- You. Eat this. - Seungcheol handed Joshua the soup, and the elf held it in his hands, smelling it. 

- Mmmh. - he mumbled, smiling. Cheol’s soups always had a great smell. This one in particular smelled like fresh mushrooms and bay leaves, a good smell for elves. Not for Jeonghan, tho, who wrinkled his nose.

- What’s this smell? - the fairy said, so Seungcheol took a rose and placed it near to him. Jeonghan hugged it, without touching the thorns. The rose was bigger than him, and Seungcheol found that thing adorable. Joshua finished the soup, and looked much better. The pallor went away, and his smile was bright. Now was time to cure the injured fairy’s wings, even if Seungcheol didn’t really know how. How do you take care of a fairy? 

Seungcheol didn’t really have anything to do with fairies in his life. Fairies were mischievous, distrustful, and trusted each other, but not anyone else. Maybe because they were the more defenseless creature of the clearing, and they were scared. But Jeonghan was different. He trusted Seungcheol, even if, if he wanted, he could crush him in the palm of a hand. But he would never do that. He wasn’t a human. Plus, he was a kind hearted creature. 

Seungcheol examined the wings. They were broken on one side, and torn on the other. He hypothesized he needed some snail slime to adjust the torn wing, but the broken one? He was good at medicine, but he wasn’t a fairy surgeon. And he thought: why did nobody help that poor fairy? No fairy helped Jeonghan. Maybe he had been the first one who found him. But, Jeonghan had brothers, he told him. Why did none of them help him? When he touched a wing, Jeonghan squirmed. 

- I know, little one, I know. - He let out a breath. He was a really empathetic elf, he felt the pain like it was his own. He stroked Jeonghan’s little head, giving him strength. - Look, don’t move. I’m going to take some snail slime for you. 

- Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t move. 

Seungcheol moved for a minute, looking for some potion. And then he found it. Snail slime with some fairy dust. Wait a minute. Like, it wasn’t dead fairies’ ashes. Sometimes, fairies furnished some of their powers to elves to allow them to cure illnesses and diseases. When they felt friendly. And Seungcheol had known this fairy once, Jihoon. A very atypical, laborious fairy. Not so friendly, but very helpful. And Jihoon gave him fairy dust, which he used for the potion he was using to cure Jeonghan’s wings. 

- Ta-da! - He exclaimed, when he returned to Jeonghan. The fairy was so weak he was sleeping. Seungcheol smiled. He kneeled in front of him, caressing his little arm. - Hey, little one, I need you to be awake, okay? I need your help for this. 

Jeonghan opened his eyes. - Why are you helping me?

- Because everyone deserves to be helped. 

- But you… You don’t even know me. 

Seungcheol started to spread some potion to Jeonghan’s torn wing. - And?

- Other fairies say I’m bad. 

- Why would they? You’re not bad. 

- I am. Because I don’t have a baby to protect, in the human world. Nobody ever assigned me one. 

- And?

- Oh, good heavens! You don’t understand! - Jeonghan crossed his arms. Seungcheol smiled, amused. - Now, why are you laughing?

- I’m not. 

- You are! I’m serious. 

- Okay, okay, sorry. 

- I… Fairies are made to protect children, you know. And I’ve never been assigned to any baby. Because I’m a… - Jeonghan seemed on the verge of crying. - I’m too powerful a fairy. I can’t control my powers. So it’s risky for me to be assigned to a baby. I could hurt them, but… - the fairy was crying now. - I love babies. They make me happy. And I love humans, too. They’re not bad as you all picture them. 

- But they hurt you. 

- No, Seungcheol. It hasn’t been a human. Fairies did this to me. A group of fairies. There were four of them, and I was alone. Humans can’t penetrate the barrier, you stupid! Humans are not bad. Fairies are. 

Seungcheol’s expression changed. He looked at Jeonghan while, with his hand, he tried to adjust his wings. - Why?

- I told you why!

- No, why did they do this to you! This is cruel! 

- Because they hate that I’m different. That I’m powerful, that I’m strong. 

- And why didn't you fight back?

- Because my powers are a shame, for me. And I don’t want to hurt anybody. 

-  Oh, little one. - Seungcheol extended his hand in front of Jeonghan, letting him climb on his fingers. - You’re the kindest creature I’ve ever met. 

Jeonghan’s little hand reached Seungcheol’s cheek, stroking it. Seungcheol’s heart started beating faster. - No. You are. Fairies treat elves like slaves. They throw things at them, they don’t talk to them. But you decided to save me. And this is beautiful. And I’m grateful, because nobody ever treated me with love. Not even my mother, or my brothers. 

- I just hope you can fly again.

- If I can’t, I could help you with your mushroom hunting. 

Seungcheol smiled when Jeonghan stirred against his thumb.