Cutting myself isn't enough, i need to skin myself alive

How can i feel so numb but fucking feel everything all at once. I dont understand and i never will. I actually just do not want to fucking exist anymore dude.

I could just take all the pills in my house and make everyone's lives so much better

How do you confide in people about suicidal tendencies, like "hi youre a great friend but I fear I might not make it through the winter" like ???