- I'm going to be so honest with you: he never got rid of his typewriter after Ruby

- The breakup was hard on him and despite him telling everyone that it's gone, it's hidden away in some linen closet in his house

- It takes Calvin two weeks to fall back on old habits and for him to bring out the typewriter

- He just wants someone to understand him. A man for more innocent company to help him grieve his relationship with Ruby. His yearning is enough for you to manifest

- While this happened before, it never fails to make Calvin shocked at your sudden appearance and friendliness to him

- The author adored your company. He appreciated that you were more sensitive to his needs, all the other men in his life were too pushy and some were douchey jocks that just talked about sex

- Soon enough, Calvin's feelings towards you became romantic. You filled the hole that was missing ever since Ruby left, yet it feels more genuine

- I think this budding relationship between you and Calvin gives him some confidence, there's more of an effort to let you be your own person and he strays away from using you for validation

- However because you're his first boyfriend, he's going to have new anxieties blossom: what you mean for his own sexuality and how he's going to be perceived publicly

- Calvin gets nervous about pda, there's instances of panic and him unlatching his hand from yours or asking you to keep pet names to a minimum in public

- His nerves are doubled around his family

- Their acceptance, while flattering is overbearing at times and he'd never hear the end of it from his brother

- Harry is his own breed of straight dude bro, y'know?

- I will say that Calvin, although better about this, does feel tempted to "correct" some behavior

- You were made to comfort him, he isn't the most equipped to deal with dealing with conflict

- Whether you want some time away or if another guy had some eyes on you. It's a test to see if Calvin actually changed

- I can see Calvin thinking he'd be doing something good for you if he were to change something

- For example, if you were trans and feeling dysphoric, he'd think about just erasing that dysphoria away completely.

- Since this is supposed to be Calvin improving himself, I think the thought ever escapes the brain. It'd be a start to a slippery slope

I had come home one day after a somewhat stressful day at work, leave it to seventh graders to make you want to rip your hair out on a Friday, to find Calvin’s apartment empty.

“Calvin?” I called, struggling to fit myself and my three bags through the front door. I listened for a reply but nothing came.

“Calvin, sweetie?” I dropped the bags to the floor and laid my keys on the table in the entrance hallway. I climbed the stairs to his office, assuming he was writing and was just too engrossed in his writing to answer but he was nowhere to be seen.

Taking my phone out of my dress pocket, I checked it to see if I had any missed calls or texts from him, there were none. Shaking my head, I made my way back downstairs to fix a snack before I started to grade the tests I had brought home.

Calvin came walking through the front door twenty minutes before seven, something that was becoming a recurring event. He walked past me on the couch and went directly upstairs without saying a word.

I sat the test and red pen I was grading with down and watched him over the back of the couch as he trudged up to his office. Groaning a bit, I uncrossed my legs and stood up from my seat. Quietly I ascended the stairs.

“Calvin?” I asked softly as I knocked on the slightly ajar door to his office.

I heard shuffling before he answered, “Yeah?”

I opened the door and came to stand in front of his desk. I watched him leaning back in his chair, fingers rubbing his eyes. His glasses fell back into place when he stopped and sat up straight.

“Busy day?”

“I guess so.” He mumbled.

I let out a sigh as I crossed my arms.

“What?” He looked at me sternly.

“What do you mean, what?” I snapped back.

“That was a pretty deep sigh, you only do that when you’re annoyed.” He pointed.

“Well yeah, I am a bit annoyed.”

“Are you going to tell me why?” His tone was becoming harsh.

“I don’t know, will you actually listen to me if I tell you?”

He just looked at me with his eyebrows raised expectantly.

“You’ve been acting all weird lately. Leaving the apartment early, coming home late, you have barely said ten words to me in the past three days. You haven’t even been sleeping in the bed anymore, you’re either in here or asleep on the couch.” My voice started to shake with emotion. I was so stressed with work and having to deal with whatever Calvin was doing.

“I haven’t been acting weird.” He leaned on his elbows, head in his hands.

“Yes, you have,” I argued. “What is it? Are you cheating on me, hum? Is that it, are you doing everything in your power to not be around me because you have found someone else? If so, then don't let me get in the way.” I raised my voice, turned on my heel, stomped to the bedroom, and locked the door. I could feel tears prickling up in the corner of my eyes. Angrily I threw open the closet door and grabbed my suitcase and started to rip my clothes from the hangers, stuffing them inside.

“Baby?” Calvin's voice came from the other side of the door. After I didn’t answer I heard him jiggle the door handle. “Baby please, open the door.”

“No. I don’t want to talk to you.” I continued going around the room, throwing all my things into the single suitcase.

“Please, just let me explain.” He pleaded. I stopped for a second, looked back at the door, and wiped the tears from my face with my hand. Slowly I went to the door and unlocked it. Only after I had moved away from the door did Calvin open it and come into the room.

“Were you, were you going to leave?” he asked, a hint of sadness in his voice, as he pointed to the clothes I had strewn across the bed.

“Well, you didn’t seem to want me here so I might as well just go back to my own place. Thank god I didn’t sell it like you told me to.”

“Don’t leave, whatever you think, it isn't what’s going on.” He pulled on my hand, leading me to sit on the edge of the bed with him. I followed him reluctantly.

“Not what I think? Calvin, how could any of this point to anything but you cheating on me?”

He sighed as he wiped away the fresh tears streaming down my face. “I am not cheating on you.”

“Then why do you never want to be around me? Why are you never here?” I was sobbing into his shoulder by now. He just hugged me, rubbing my back sweaty, it only made me cry harder.

“I’ve been neglectful and I’m sorry, but honestly, I have never once cheated on you and I never will.” He whispered into my ear. “It’s just, and this is going to sound crazy, but a few weeks ago, I was taking Scotty out for a walk and there was a girl there. It was Ruby. Exactly how I had written her and exactly how she looked when I set her free.”

Calvin had told me the details of his book and how it was based on what really happened in her life, even going as far as to have his brother tell me about his experience with it. I remember not knowing what to think, but I eventually started to believe what Calvin was telling me, no matter how absurd it sounded.

“Oh Calvin, please don’t.” I sobbed out.

“It’s the truth, I saw her there with my own eyes. I’ve been processing it, and I still am. She was a girl I wrote to be perfect and I had to let her go and seeing her again, how I had met her in my dreams was so surreal.”

I shook my head, “No, no, I don’t want to hear you talk about a lost love or some crap like that.”

“She’s not a lost love, she was an infatuation, something my mind made up because I was lonely. It’s you I love, it will only be you that I love.” He confessed.

I looked up at him skeptically, my eyes and cheeks were swollen. I could see the emotions on his face, for as long as I had known him, he could never keep them hidden. It was then that I knew that he was telling the truth.

“If you love me then why were you avoiding me?”

“I’m sorry baby, I really am. I was trying to get my thoughts in order. I’ve been coming home late because I have been stopping by Harry’s to talk. Believe it or not, he’s actually been a big help. And as for not coming to sleep in here with you, I just didn’t want to disturb you, I’ve actually been staying up late writing.”

“About what?” I leaned back from his hold, but I kept my hands resting on his thigh.

“You.” His stare was intense.

“Me?” I pointed a finger at myself.

“Yes, you.” His right hand came up to move a piece of my hair away from my face and behind my ear.

“Can I read it?”

“When it’s done. I promise.” He kissed my cheek gently, I sniffled.

Sitting on the bed, eventually turned into laying down and after a while, we had fallen asleep in one another's arms. Something in me knew he was telling the truth, even if the Ruby Sparks story did sound insane. It was in his eyes, the truth was always in his eyes.

After we woke up the next morning, we put my clothes back where they belonged and even though the last few weeks had been hard and we had been distant, everything snapped back into place like nothing had ever happened.

“I love you,” He said tenderly as we sat on the couch curled up next to one another, Calvin reading and I, grading papers.

“I love you more,” I replied, grabbing onto his free right hand.

“Impossible.” he smiled, bringing my hand up to kiss it.