when juuzo showed up at your doorstep without so much as a text, you knew something was wrong. you could see it in the way his eyes were unfocused and red-rimmed, in the slight tremble of his hands, and the way his bottom lip quivered when he tore his gaze from the floor to meet yours. it was a drastic change from his usual bubbly and eccentric demeanor, and it worried you to see him in such a state.

your boyfriend had shown up clad in CCG gear, his knuckles white from the effort of holding onto his quinque, and based on the state of his appearance, you could only assume that he had one hell of an evening.

as juuzo met your gaze, a fire had been ignited. his features twisted into anger and grief, his lips curling back into a cruel snarl as he pointed the quinque at you. “if ghouls didn’t exist, then… shinohara-san would be okay, right?” he asks, his voice oddly calm despite the emotion swirling in his gaze.

your voice dies in your throat as you watch juuzo tilt his head at you, the sharp end of his quinque digging into the meat of your chest. your throat constricts, tears bubbling at your lashline as you open your mouth to speak.

“ghouls are abominations. all they know to do is take. just like that ghoul was going to take shinohara-san from me.” he murmurs, interrupting you as his weapon falls limp at his side.

you can’t bring yourself to do anything but nod, opening your door further as you gesture for your distraught lover to come inside. a flicker of recognition passes through juuzo’s gaze as he peers into your apartment, a picture frame of your first date with him catching his attention. he swallows thickly, his trembling fingers gently reaching out to wipe away your tears.

that leaves you here, with a cold cup of tea on your coffee table and juuzo in your arms. he refused to talk about what happened earlier that night, but now that the sun had risen and he was seemingly out of tears to shed, the young man finally speaks up.

“i’m sorry,” he mumbles, his voice hoarse and cracking. juuzo’s fingers idly toy with the hem of your shirt as he takes a deep breath. “i was so angry that i…“

juuzo’s voice trails off, his arms snaking around your midsection as he rests his head on your chest again. he doesn’t say anything more than that, simply opting to listen to the steady beat of your heart.

“you don’t have to talk about anything until you’re ready, juu.” you murmur, you fingers threading through his hair. you could piece two and two together — a mission went wrong and shinohara was hurt as a result. you knew how special that man was to juuzo, and you could understand why he was so upset.

juuzo quietly hums in response, his cold fingers reaching beneath your shirt to soak up the warmth your skin provided. as you gaze down at him, you recognize the way his eyes seemed unfocused — staring at everything and soaking in nothing. oh, juuzo.

you press a gentle kiss to the crown of his head, feeling the way his breath shudders and a shiver wracks down his spine, his arms tightening around you as if you would disappear too.

“i love you, juu.” you whisper, unsure of what else to say. juuzo’s throat bobs as he swallows, his tongue darting out to wet his lips.