“What did Malfoy say to you on the platform?” Harry interrogates as soon as the door to our compartments reaches its close. 

“Geez, how long were you holding that one in?” I laugh, taking a seat across from Hermione and Ron, leaving Harry’s spot open for him by the window.

“I’m serious, Liv.” He sits, body entirely facing me.

“Okay?” 

“What did he say?” His voice is harsh.

I roll my eyes and chuckle in disbelief at the way he instantly goes into what I call “Savior” mode.

“Nothing important.” I say with a finality, hoping he dismisses the conversation at that. But of course he doesn’t.

He turns so that he’s addressing the three of us. “I think he’s a Deatheater.” Before I can laugh or tell him how ridiculous he’s being, he continues. “I think he’s a Deatheater and I want to know what he said to you.”

I think back to the brief interaction, mere moments ago when we were saying goodbye to our parents for the upcoming term.

My arms are wrapped around my father in a final hug. He kisses the top of my head and pushes me out to an arms length. “Let me get a good look at you before you go,” he jokes. “Yup, two arms, two legs and oh look at that! A head attached to the rest of your body! I expect all of those things to be there when we see you for Christmas.”

“James, enough,” our mother scolds, humor light in her voice. She smooths Harry’s tie for the 100th time.

“What?! I don’t have to worry about Harry! But, you never know with these Slytherins,” he laughs.

“James.” Mom’s voice is edged and leaves no room for argument. 

“Sorry, honey” He lays a hand on my cheek. “You know I tease. Slytherin or not, I love you. You have a good heart, and you know right from wrong.” He affirms, as if these are traits that Slytherins are incapable of having.

“You know Slytherins aren’t monsters …” I say.

“Of course you aren’t. That’s what I was saying, darling.”

“No. You were saying I’m not a monster. Not Slytherins. Like there’s the rest of them, and then there’s me. A wayward Slytherin. Different.”

“Well, you are different.”

I step back. “No .. I’m not.” My voice hardens, as it always does when I’m forced to defend my house, to defend my friends.

“Let’s not do this now,” mom pleads. I’ve been having this argument the entirety of my academic career at Hogwarts, but it’s gotten significantly worse after the events of last year: the confirmation of Voldemort’s return and the murder of our Uncle Sirius. Harry’s vision had led us to the ministry under a ruse and ever since, dad has been extra tense. 

“No, let's.” Harry interjects. “You know who her ‘friends’ are.” He says the word ‘friends’ as if it's coated in poison. 

My mother attempts to lecture the two of them while I tune their voices out. It isn’t anything different than what I’d heard the entire summer. Instead, I look across the way, meeting Draco’s gaze.

His mother drops him off, rushing to evade the eyes of curious onlookers, but lingering to share the last few moments with her son. Lucius is absent, of course, which is why so many are looking. They know about what happened last year; the paper hasn’t stopped running articles on their family, all centered on his father’s stay in Azkaban. 

Draco hushes his mother’s worrying, and though I am not close enough to hear, I am sure he is reassuring her and putting on a strong face for her. His back is to me as he gives her a hug goodbye, whispering something softly to her that causes her eyes to flash and focus on mine. She gives me a tight smile before turning her attention back to her son. He gently grabs his trolley of luggage, steady hands leaving her shaking ones, giving her the opportunity to apparate away. 

His entire body is stiff, rigged with pressure and expectations that no one our age should carry. Eyes back to mine, I can see everything he’s hiding from the rest of the world. I can see beyond the mask, I can see to Draco. His pain. His mourning. His innocence. His fear. His desperation. His courage. I see him. My closest friend, my brother. I see a soldier, one like no other. 

“Livina Rosalie Potter, you listen to me.” My father scolds. “Stop zoning out. You’ve been doing that all summer.”

“Because you’ve been saying the same things and it’s a bunch of hogwash that I don’t care to listen to all summer.” I respond, full rebellion on display.

He flubbers for just a moment, temporarily speechless. “I don’t care what house you’re in. You are a Potter. You are a symbol in this war. You are a weapon. And you are naive to believe they don’t see that.” 

“Who are ‘they’?” I sass, knowing full well who he means.

His face is tense with a quiet rage. “I will pull you out of school if I have to. I have half a mind to ask Dumbledore a personal favor and have you switched to Gryffindor house so that your brother can watch over you because apparently of the two of you, he’s the only one who can use his brain.”

“James!” My mother gasps, shocked.

“No, Lily,” he hisses. “If Liv can’t take care of herself, then someone else will have to do it for her.” He looks to me again. “You aren’t making smart decisions. You’re putting yourself in incredible danger. They aren’t your friends and even if they aren’t active participants yet, they will be soon and they aren’t worth saving. Don’t you ever forget what a threat they pose to you or how dangerous and violent they can be.” 

My entire being vibrates with a rage so fierce that it feels as if I am boiling straight from my very core. My fingers twitch, clenching and unclenching around an object that isn’t there. I can feel that hidden, secret power within me screaming to be unleashed with my anger, begging to be let free, desperate to defend those it perceives to be threatened. 

Just as I open my mouth to release my outrage, fury coiling inside of me, a strong shoulder rams into mine, causing the trolley that the offending arm was pulling to go tumbling. Trunks scatter. An owl screeches as its cage topples to my feet. Ryu. (Pronounced Rue). Draco’s owl. 

“Sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going,” he apologizes, terse and polite. He bends close to where I had fallen, gathering his discarded items. He looks to me as he feigns struggling with one trunk in particular, and speaks so that no other may hear. “Don’t. Control it. You are strong. Stifle it and wait. You hold the fate of the future within you and this is not our time to fight. You fight, we fight. But this is not that fight.” He stands straight, trolley re-packed and stacked neatly. “Sorry, again.” he says loud enough for my family to hear, standing straight and holding his hand out. 

I place my scarred hand into his, using his strength to both pull me to my feet and to ground me in a wave of calm and control.

“See you in class,” he dismisses and continues his walk to the train.

“Ugh, Harry, will you just drop it? Please?”

“Why? So he did say something to you?’ His eyes narrow as he glares at me. “You need to quit hanging out with him. With all of them. I don’t know why you aren’t taking this seriously. You need to listen to dad, and you need to listen to me.”

“Here we go,” Ron huffs, throwing his hands in the air and leaning back into his seat.

“You’re not the boss of me, Harry. Now why don’t you just piss off and leave my friends alone? Why are you like this?”

“Your friends?” he scoffs, unbelieving “They don’t care about anyone but themselves. They’re on the wrong side of this war and you know it! You’re absolutely stupid if you think any different.”

“I’m … stupid?” I question with the eerie calm that got me sorted into Slytherin to begin with. “Stupid because I won’t let my brother, my “Holier-Than-Thou,-Can-Do-No-Wrong” brother tell me who I can and can’t be friends with? I’m stupid ….” my voice rises as I stand in confrontation, “because I’m defending the people I care about? The people who, mind you, you know nothing about. Nothing other than your own prejudice and disgusting bigotry!”

“Bigotry?!” Harry, also standing now, exclaims in shock. “That’s rich coming from the girl defending someone who called Hermione a Mudblood, defending someone who is the literal spawn of the man responsible for this war? All of their parents were in that room last year, hunting us! Hunting you! They killed Sirius! Does that mean nothing to you?!” He huffs again in the pretentious way that only Harry can scoff. “So yes, you’re stupid to continue to associate with people trying to hunt you and your family. You’re stupid for thinking that when the time comes, they won’t hand you over to Voldemort and betray you. You’re stupid if you think they haven’t thought of doing the killing curse themselves! No better way to impress your father than by personally killing his enemies, right?!”

My brows are lifted in disbelief, in complete awe at his ignorance and cruelty. “I’ve known them for years, Harry.” I say softly. “I know them in ways you never will. None of you will. I trust them and I love them. You’re wrong.” I turn to Hermione, “Tell him,” I rush, pleading. Desperate for him to understand. For someone to be on my side. “Tell him how Draco apologized to you! Tell him how Enzo walked you to your dorm after that Ravenclaw was a little too grabby, tell him how the next day that same Ravenclaw was in the hospital wing!”

Hermione glances between Harry and I, uncomfortable and distressed. “Those things only happened because of you. You made them do those things.” Her voice is soft, almost a whisper, as if she didn’t want us to hear, didn’t want to participate in this fight between siblings. She looks at me, eyes soft and shy, but stern. “He’s right, Liv … they’re bad just the same as their parents. They’re dangerous. Being friendly inside of the school walls is one thing …  it’s not going to be the same.” She moves her eyes to look at her hands, hiding from my anger as if in shame of admitting her bias against my friend group. 

I shake my head, looking up so as to restrain the tears that so desperately want to fall. “I’ve never been more disappointed in you .. both of you,” I look to Harry whose face has that smug vindicated look to it. “You don’t know a damn thing. And neither does dad.” I turn, leaving him gaping at me.

I don’t see him rush to reach for his cloak, nor do I notice his unseen presence following me afterwards, lingering distantly enough so as to remain undetected but close enough to not lose me in my fleeing.

I don’t know where I’m going. Anywhere but here. Anywhere that I don’t have to see his face, don’t have to listen to the “Great” Harry Potter spew hate in front of me. He doesn’t know them like I do. He doesn’t know anything. He’s blinded by hatred.

“There you are, beautiful,” a voice wraps around me at the same time a hand grabs my wrist, pulling me in for a hug. “We’ve been looking for you.”

“Well, here I am.” I shrug, falling in step beside him.

His eyes turn to me harshly, “What happened?”

“It’s nothing, Enzo,” I sigh.

“My favorite snake is upset and we haven’t even gotten to school yet. Something happened.”

“You’re sweet to be protective,” I pat the hand still holding on to me, guiding me through the train.

“After everything we’ve been through?” his hand moves to grab at mine. “Always.”

I look into his eyes, steadfast, strong, and loyal. Like all of theirs. A fierceness we all hold connected to each other. “I know,” I soften, “It’s the same thing it always is. The great, ‘open-minded’ Potters. Same thing my dad’s been on and just Harry being, well, Harry.”

Enzo’s face contorts with sympathy. “I’m sorry, dear.” 

We stop at the door to a compartment that I assume holds the rest of our ragtag group. “You ready for the chaos?”

“Always,” I respond, mimicking him, as he slides the door open, using an arm around my shoulder to pull me in alongside him. “Look who I found wandering about all melancholy like!” Enzo announces. I let out a small laugh as I gently slap his arm off of me.

“What’s wrong?” Mattheo asks, eyes flicking to mine with a somber sincerity. I flop ungracefully in the open seat next to Draco, throwing my legs up across the way to rest in Mattheo’s lap. He immediately wraps his fingers around my ankles.

“Just annoying family shit.”

“Been there,” Theo jokes. We all just stare blankly at him. “What?” he defends, “We aren’t making jokes about this mess yet?” He looks at each of us, desperate for just one of us to laugh with him. Draco and I lock eyes and that’s all it takes for the two of us to bust into laughter. The others join in and we all laugh at Theo rather than his poorly timed, crappy joke. 

After the laughter dies down, the mood sobers again as we think on Theo’s words. “How are you guys? Really?” I ask gently.

“We’ll get through it, Bella.” Theo whispers, laughter gone from his eyes.

“Together,” Draco confirms, nodding his head once and gripping my hand on the seat next to him. The others nod in agreement. All but Mattheo. 

“And you, Matty?” I hold his gaze. All of them seem to have lost the light in their eyes over the summer, but him especially. It’s like there's no one home, no fight left. But I know better. I know him better. He feels everything, he feels too much. He’s the strongest and most ruthless fighter of us all. A true warrior.

His grip on my ankles tightens. “We’ll be okay,” he reassures me, but the sentiment dies there, it doesn’t reach the rest of his face. "Stop flirting with her with your stupid accent." He glares sideways at Theo who throws his hands up in surrender.

“Let’s talk about Harry,” he says, eyes hardening. “What did he say to you?”

“Oh you know, that I’m stupid, have to pick my side, tried to ban me from speaking to you lot, called you all bigots who only think of yourselves, and …” I trail off, hesitant to upset Mattheo further.

“And?” Draco prompts, face stiff, contorted with a silent rage.

“And,” I take a steadying breath, “And he said that you’re only pretending to be my friend until the time is right for you to kill me to impress him.” I roll my eyes at his dramatics in an attempt to lighten the mood. “He’s just pissy because his little crush Ginny is bumping uglies with Dean Thomas and here I am with all you pretty boys fawning over me, desperate for my love.”

The trunks overhead thud around, probably in response to the train vibrating over a particular rough patch of track.

Together, we share an unfiltered laugh at the recurring joke. There have been rumors at school that we’re in some kind of reverse Harem and we think it’s bloody hysterical to push the rumors on. Because what other reason would the toughest guys in school have for wanting to be friends with a Potter? Obviously because we’re fucking. 

“She thinks we’re pretty, awwww” Blaise teases while pinching Enzo’s cheek.

“The prettiest,” I compliment with a giggle.

“But one of us is prettier than the rest, right?” Draco teases from my right, knowing of my affections for one Mr. Mattheo Riddle, who I am proud to say I did not glance to when Draco said that. 

“Oh piss off, Draco. You’re horrid!” I shove him into the wall, as he chuckles at my misfortune.

Mattheo hides a small grin, eyes downcast in an attempt to hide his barely visible blush.

I’ve always been his girl, just the same as he’s been mine. Anyone who matters knows it. But it’s never been said, never truly been claimed or acted upon. At first it was just a youthful bashfulness, a fear of rejection and the potential loss of a sincere friendship. But then as the war grew closer and times became more tense, it became an unspoken but uniformly understood agreement that our connection is already a threat and dangerous enough without adding labels and romance to it. But still, our claim to each other lingers in the air around us, a living thing, the same as the oxygen we breathe: unseen but existing nonetheless.

In fact, each of the boys had tried to push Pansy and I away from them at the very start. But we’re family. We’re loyal and headstrong in our support to one another. They are mine and I am theirs. To the very end. Potter, Malfoy, Riddle, Order, Death Eater. None of it matters. We don’t belong to our names, to our parents or their agendas. We belong to each other and that’s it. A third invisible “side” in this war. Perhaps the most dangerous any of us could be in. Outwardly linked to one, but realistically and eternally, truthfully, bonded to each other. To me. Pansy Parkinson. Lorenzo Berkshire. Theodore Nott. Blaise Zabini. Draco Malfoy. Mattheo Riddle. 

My bloodsworn.