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Druid: we are not a threat, we just worship the goddess of love.

Arthur: pardon?

Druid: the goddess of love!! We pray and bring sacrifices - nothing grand, just wine and food that we get to eat after the sacrament because our goddess would never want us to starve or thirst - and if we're lucky they'll make our love come true.

Arthur: interesting.

.... Later....

Voice: Emrys, EMRYS!!!!

Merlin: *wakes* what?

Voice: hey, little Brother. Just checking in. I have a certain Arthur Pendragon praying to me at my altar. He's... I dunno if praying is the right word. Begging, maybe? Bribing, perhaps.

Merlin: who are you?

Voice: hi. Goddess of love here. I think your little prince is calling up the wrong line. Your altar is further north.

Merlin: my WHAT

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You Again*

Summary: The one where Harry is your sister's ex-boyfriend and you finally get to see him again after 5 years.

Word Count: 11.4k

Content Warning: 18+, smut, age gap (6 years), sir kink, choking, use of a toy, exhibitionism if you squint!

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me."

Your eyes widen as you look up toward the man making his way into the diner. You'd recognize him anywhere. The dark curly hair. The tattoos that bleed through the fabric of his light shirt. The rings on his fingers.

Just like that, years' worth of memories come flooding back to you all at once.

"Harry," you shriek, sliding off the stool before practically flinging yourself into his arms.