GET REAL

i’m so genuinely lucky to be dumb as hammers. the simplest things bring me joy. i’ve had several fits of passionate laughing out loud today because i can’t stop thinking of the phrase “one william dollars”

I recognize this still!

this is so beautiful i might cry

Hello skinny tgirl. Lately you've been complaining that your tits aren't growing. In front of you is a plate of food.

Well yes salmon does have some fat in it! And it is good! Try and eat it with some carbs, like potatoes, or maybe blinis. Why not add some vegetables as well? Steamed brocolis, grilled leaks, roasted eggplant, and maybe some cream? That sounds delicious.

Idk who this man is but he is right. Eat girls

commas save lives,,, rip girls, you were delicious,

Girls can be eaten many times if you know what you’re doing.

No this is accurate

idk man but something about Stanley "taught himself extremely advance physics/math/probably many other things while running a relatively successful business" Pines and Stanford "is wanted in almost every dimension with a judicial system of some kind" Pines is sooo fucking funny to me

I gotta stay off tumblr while I'm crossfaded some of the images you people show me could drive a man to madness