i hate you

i would strongly recommend that you memorize every post on this blog and restructure your whole personality towards reenacting every post

some of you'll owe me an apology for liking the same films and novels and tv series and musical artists and recreational activities as my spited, baneful lout of an ex husband, and no i will not say who or which.

[walking past the whorehouse with nothin but 2 Louisville dimes and a stinking silver penny to my name] Oh, I'll never get my chester polished at this rate! If only there were some way to acquire the cheddar... [looks up at the bank labeled BANK next to the whorehouse with a police officer outside the front doors fucking his horse in the mouth, and my eyes lock on the pistol he’s waving in the air] Well, well, well... if it ain't Lady Luck herself…

Lets my healthy adult dog choke to death on a chicken wing right in front of me for five minutes straight uninterrupted

enough of this argument. everyone involved has been warned and muted for the next hour. i'm going to go fuck my Toyota Supra and when i come back i expect to see respectful behavior in this chat.

pass me the bench scraper I gotta get this layer of of boogers off the wall before 7 when my female doordasher is fixing to arrive i gotta make a good impression. And stand all my vapes upright too. yes. yes..

also, I do not "boof" my Concerta, I place it into a fine mesh tea infuser with a stack of botanical and fungal adaptogens and then gently decoct it into my enema waters

I was originally hiding behind your shower curtain to murder you but after listening to you grunt and fart and blast the potty for 10 minutes I think I'm just going to go home

when a man who is shorter than 5'10" shows me kindness i weep for awe and wonder that a human soul could retain such generosity in the face of such deprivation and hardship and i congratulate him on his resolve and bravery

I’ve got a fart loadin in me trousers

i am not capable of blogging without malice