I went on a date today and she found out I made the bike comic

I was out this this cute girl and I think we were really hitting it off, then she asked what kind of comics I make. I told her, and then as she looked at them on her phone, recognition came over her face.

Her: "oh...OH MY GOD... ARE YOU THE BIKE CUCK GUY???"

Me: "Y-yeah..."

Her: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

Her: "WAIT, HOLD ON, I GOTTA SHOW MY FRIENDS THIS."

She asked the people at the table behind us if she could borrow one of their phones for a second to pull up something on the browser. Then she held their phone somewhat in front of hers and took a photo of me along with it.

I never asked for the photo so here is my approximate recreation of what I think it looked like:

She was busy texting seemingly all of her friends as we finished our meals and stood up, when I decided to pipe up again.

Me: "Um, y-you know wh-what would make the happiness in the world increase..."

She looked up from her phone with a sly smile.

Her: "What?"

Me: "I-if...if we k-- um, kissed..."

Her amused smile slowly descended into an absolutely indiscernible neutral expression.

then, after a pause

it rose again into a smile

Her: "You... are so cute. Close your eyes. I have a surprise for you."

I closed my eyes tight, and gently puckered my lips, bracing for a kiss.

Then she slapped my ass so hard that there is still a palm print on it.

NO, YOU AREN'T "EEPY"

A MAN CANNOT BE "EEPY."

HE CAN BE FATIGUED.

HE CAN BE SLUMBEROUS.

HE CAN BE BATTLEWORN FROM THE DAY'S ORDEALS.

BUT NEVER, AND I MEAN NEVER, MUST YOU EVER UTTER THAT WORD.

AND THE BED AND PILLOW WHICH YOU REST YOUR BODY ON?

MUST NEVER BE SO LARGE AS TO MAKE YOUR OWN FORM SEEM DIMINUTIVE IN COMPARISON. IT MUST BE ONLY LARGE ENOUGH TO FIT YOUR OWN BODY, LIKE A COFFIN.

AND YOU ARE ALLOWED BUT 1 PLUSH UPON IT.

AND IT HAS TO BE OF YOUR GREATEST ENEMY.

How to be a househusband and housewife together

There are many women out there who want to be a housewife. I, however, want to be a househusband. So, how is that going to work? You can't be a housewife and househusband together, right?

Wrong.

Here is my guide on how that is in fact possible and how to achieve it. Women, please listen up, because this is important to you when you marry me which I know you want to do.

Step 1) I become your househusband.

Step 2) You become my housewife.

Step 3) The bank takes the house.

Step 4) Can't be a househusband and a housewife without a house, right?

Step 5) Wrong. We pretend to move out, but actually we are just moving all of our stuff into the walls of the house, where we will live. Much like house gnomes.

Step 6) This can go on for years if we play it right, but eventually the family living there finds us.

Step 7) We get arrested on some trumped up charges like trespassing. We both know they are actually arresting us for daring to love.

Step 8) We go to prison.

Step 9) But what else is prison called?

Step 10) The jailHOUSE.

Step 11) We just can't stop winning.

Step 12) We get out of prison but have to reintegrate back into society.

Step 13) Where do we do that?

Step 14) The halfway HOUSE.

Step 15) We just can't stop winning.

Step 16) After we leave we have trouble finding stable employment due to our criminal record..

Step 17) So we become freelance DJs who play at clubs, restaurants, and parties.

Step 18) And what kind of music do we play?

Step 19) We just can't stop winning.

everything is a skill that can be practiced

let's say you get curious about game development for example, and decide to give it a try in a disciplined manner, dedicating an hour per day to it. as you do so, your brain will see a problem presented: 'how do i make a fun game?' and the moment your brain latches on to that problem, it's over (in a good way), because solving problems is your brain's whole shit.

you'll start having ideas for games

with comics and really any creative endeavor, it's the same: the ideas come BECAUSE you do it, not the other way around. so just set deadlines for yourself, set smaller deadlines within the bigger deadlines, and get it done, even if it sucks at first.