Maro’s Teaser for The Lost Caverns of Ixalan

Before previews for The Lost Caverns of Ixalan officially begin, I thought it would be fun to do another of my Duelist-style teasers where I give tiny hints of things to come. Note that I’m only giving you partial information.   

First up, here are some things you can expect:   

• a new card with the word “three times” in its rules text 

• a new land subtype  

• an aura card we’ve reprinted numerous times over twenty years appears with a new name and is one mana cheaper 

• a redone version of a popular mechanic that first premiered in 2009 

• a new mechanic representing crafting  

• a card capable of animating both artifacts and enchantments   

• a popular Tempest sorcery returns as an “enter the battlefield” effect   

• a new ability word that cares about what is in your graveyard  

• some counters in the set: bore, chorus, dread, finality, landmark, lore, net, point, stun, and time; one of which is a new deciduous counter 

• some creature tokens: 0/1 green Dinosaur Eggs, 1/1 colorless Gnomes, 1/1 white Vampire, 1/1 blue Merfolk, 1/1 black Bat, 1/1 black Fungus, 2/2 black Skeleton Pirate, 3/1 red Dinosaur, 3/2 red and white Spirit, 3/3 green Dinosaur, 4/3 black Vampire Demon, 4/4 white Angel, 4/4 white and blue Golem (note that some of these tokens have additional abilities) 

Next, here are some rules text that will be showing up on cards:   

• “As an additional cost to cast this spell, tap four untapped artifacts, creatures, and/or land you control.”  

• “Until end of turn, target artifact or creature becomes a Dinosaur”  

• “Then destroy all other creatures if its power is exactly 20.”  

• “When you <new keyword>, <new keyword> again for the same value.”  

• “Whenever you’re dealt combat damage, the attacking player gains control of CARDNAME and untaps it.”  

• “Equip – Pay {3} or discard a card.”  

• “Whenever you cast a permanent spell using mana produced by CARDNAME, up to one other target permanent you control becomes a copy of that spell until end of turn.”  

• “Skeletons you control get +1/+0 and have haste.”  

• “If a triggered ability of another creature you control of the chosen type triggers, it triggers an additional time.”  

• “When there are 1,000 or more time counters on CARDNAME, sacrifice it and each opponent loses 1,000 life.”  

Here are some creature type lines from the set:  

• Artifact Creature – Dinosaur Gnome  

• Creature – Salamander Wurm  

• Creature – Merfolk Warrior Scout  

• Legendary Creature – Bat God  

• Creature – Capybara  

• Legendary Creature – Skeleton Spirit Pirate  

• Artifact Creature – Nautilus  

• Creature – Beast Horror Spirit  

• Creature – Fungus Snail  

• Creature – Dinosaur Skeleton Horror  

Finally, here are some names in the set:  

• Braided Quipu  

• Calamitous Cave-In  

• Careening Mine Cart  

• Chupacabra Echo  

• Diamond Pick-Axe  

• Eaten by Piranhas  

• Out of Air  

• Pirate Hat  

• Sovereign’s Machuahuitl  

• Spelunking  

Tune-in to see Lost Caverns of Ixalan’s debut on October 24th on twitch.tv/Magic and on our official YouTube channel. The full story drops October 20th. 

Ị̵̶̱̖͈̥̗̪̦̟̥̖̥̥͉̱̲̬̽̍ͫ̂ͦ̋ͥ͑́̿͆ͥ̐͌̎͂͆ͪ̚͜͠ ̶̶̞̻̪͔͖̤̙̹̥̙̯͕̘̭͙̟̮͔̓̅ͫͪͤͧ̑ͥ͂͆̂̒̊̀́́ͅẾ̛͙̭̜̭̾̄ͦ́A̿͌̎́̄҉͙̝̤͖̩̪̜͕͕̰͇͈͓͈̯̤͙ͅT̥̳͇̬͇̹̮̞ͮ͛ͦͮ͑́͘͟͡͠ͅ ͪͮͤ͊ͤ̌̏ͩͩ̀ͧͧ̌̾̎ͯͩ́͏̴̼̟̦ͅL̗̩̔̀͐͊ͣ̏͋̑ͭ͊͂̓́̀͘ͅI͈̩̙͓̻̙̹̯̮̟̝̟͔̱ͭͣ͛ͣ́ͪ͗̽͛ͧ̊̾̿̚̚̚̚̕͝T̑ͧ̃̽͋ͮ̔̾ͪ͆͆ͣ̑͊̅̎̌ͨ̄҉̸̵̘͇̗̟̪̘͈̰̞̻̠̰̝̭͔͖̀͘T̨͎̦̹̪̋̈́̎ͥͣͤ̇͒ͩ̆̕L̨̎ͤ̃͂͛̏̕͢҉̢̮͉͇̣͎̯̦̦̥͖̹̩̞̯E̢̲̳͖̬̦ͨ̇̍ͪͣ̍́̈̉̄͐ͨͪ͗͗͆̃͝ ̶̢̡̫͔͚̣̹̱̲̩͙̮̖̓̋̐ͬ̄͗̋̈́̀̚̕B̷̧̥̣̬̰̜̝͖͖͚̫͙͈̭̙͉ͩ͗̊͛ͬ̑͑͌͂͛̔̾̏̐̇A̵̖̱̤̦͈̾ͤ̽͂͊̀ͩ̌͛̀ͬ̂́̚̚͟B̬͉̜͓̤͕̖̝́ͨͨͬ̾̽͟Y̨̘͓̦̘͓̻̳̪͔͓͎͚̬̮̘̥͛̒͑͒͋̇̽̀ͅ'̸ͪ͆ͪ̊ͧ̀̍͌̂͂͘͏̶̠̣͓̠͓̰͔̣̝͍̪͚̱S̒̇ͫ̐͒̏̉̈̍̌͌̽ͧ͑ͥ̆̍̀҉͇̘̖̤͈͈͓͓͓̱ ͬ̍ͭ҉̶̸͈̙̳̬͖͍̪̠̩̤̱̀ ̋̾̑̓͐̀̌ͧͤͬ͗ͯ̒ͤ̂͞͏̬̫̠̬̳͖̯͍̦̕͡Ḭ̸̢̛̠͚͉͔̊̊̔ͬ͗͗͌̄ͣ͌ͨ̚̚͡Ç̴͔̯̤̟̙̤͉̃͑͆̐͛̈͂̈̈̋̽͒̂̌̇̏̃̚͢͞E̴̪̗͍̘͍͚͎̭͙̞̘̦͇ͦ̇̽͗̄̌ͦ͒ͧ̏͋̌̐͒̿̄̽̂̚͢͠ ̸̶̥̟̳̰̤̗̥̰̻̭̮͔̩̳̍̇ͩͪ̔̅ͥ̏͋́̈́͜C̓ͪ̈ͣ͞҉̢̛̲̱̦͎͘Ŗ̧ͨ̈́ͣ̒̎͛͆̊̚҉̧͉̪̣̥̟͉̦Ę̜̤̬̥͇͈̩̠͖̳̖͓̟̹̣ͯ̐͛ͦ̆́͜A̧̼͔̲̱͈̹͇͔̦̳̩͖͕̱̟̽͋͂̐͝M̵̶̧̤̦͕͉ͮͯ͌̈́͛͐̈̌ͨͯ̑

I believe it was @a-wild-golden-gryphon who mentioned the idea of Matthew ratatouilleing dream around

Also:

I feel this makes it funnier

[id: 9 transparent images of animals in cowboy hats--a fox, a bunny wearing sunglasses, a pitbull, a snake, a cat sitting back, a golden lab, a cat with eyes shaded, a different bunny, and a bird.] yeehaw

While Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s death has possibly terrible political consequences for the United States, please also remember she was a Jewish woman who died during the second holiest day of our calendar. Depending on when her family arranges burial (in Judaism, it is done as quickly as possible, but because of her fame, it might be delayed) they might not be able to sit shiva for her because one cannot continue shiva during Yom Kippur. Please also consider Yom Kippur is the holiest day of our year, and not just a day of atonement, but a day when we observe Yizkor, or remembrance of the deceased.

Due to the pandemic, like so many other families, her family will likely have to sit shiva via Zoom and not in person.

Also, the phrase ‘rest in peace’ is from the Latin and derived from Christian practices. When a Jewish person dies, it it proper to say ‘may their memory be a blessing.’

Please remember we lost a great woman, a great pioneer, a champion of women’s rights, but also a Jewish family lost their loved one on our new year.

Item: Trotify, a device that allows a bicycle to sound like a horse, confusing your enemies

Source: trotify.com where you can order a kit to assemble one yourself

Fun fact: the original seller of the Trotify device is absolutely TIRED of this device as the logistics make it hard to manufacture, much less sell. My source? I know the person involved and he’s said so on many an occasion via social media.

The more Trotify trends, the more popular it gets, and thus the more annoyed he gets. For his sake, let this die?

hm they could’ve picked a better screenshot for the thumbnail cause this just looks like our home boy here is about to get rawed by a werewolf

No this is best possible thumbnail I think

today Meatball abruptly realized that there are refugee office plants in the kitchen (they have been there for weeks) and has decided his singular purpose in life is to eat them 

we put up a 4 foot tall step-through baby gate when we brought the plants home, but it turns out he can actually squeeze his body through the bars. not in a dignified way, mind you. but he can 

we have foiled him with a two-gate system: a short one with small openings that he can’t squeeze through, and the tall one that he can’t jump over. he is now sitting outside our kitchen door rattling the gates with his stupid little mitten hands like an animated ghost prisoner in a Spirit Halloween decoration 

update: we underestimated him

why are your doors closed to the public 

is this the same Meatball with the Hanukkah sweater????

it sure is 

you may also know him as the Meatball who tried to jump into my toilet and the violent sweatervest-wearing accountant cat 

tiny accountant harasses human, eats plants

i mean he has to find some way to unwind from his high-pressure job 

update:

So how do you guys… get in there anymore?

well my original game plan was opening the white gate and kind of shoving my body through the gap between the wood gate and the grey gate and i am excited to announce that this was not a good idea at all

update: was woken up at 7 AM this morning by Meatball repeatedly taking a running leap at the gates, bouncing off the top one, and then sitting on the floor outside the kitchen beeping confusedly 

HOW

this is our current game plan. stay tuned

please continue to give us updates this is the funniest post on this site

Item: Ceramic Doublet, the Armor with the Negative AC

This sounds like a great idea

des

pa

name him. name your son

BongWater